WEBVTT - Henry Breaks Hayesy's Heart!

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<v Speaker 1>We got get Morning every day. Adelaides.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome to the Jody and Hazy podcasts. Here are some

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<v Speaker 2>of our best bits.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, it's school holidays, Am I right? Andrew Hayes certainly is.

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<v Speaker 3>And you and I have done what all good responsible

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<v Speaker 3>parents do in the school holidays.

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<v Speaker 4>We've shipped our kids to the Gold.

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<v Speaker 1>Coast, have shipped the kids into state. Is everyone else

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<v Speaker 1>doing that?

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<v Speaker 4>Everyone?

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<v Speaker 1>Because the kids in a different states different times.

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<v Speaker 3>We went with them, and then we went to the

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<v Speaker 3>Netball Grand Final in Melbourne, and then I came home

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<v Speaker 3>and grandma is taking over.

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<v Speaker 4>Thanks Colleen.

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<v Speaker 1>I differ. It's a different topic. But how bloody good

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<v Speaker 1>at grandma.

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<v Speaker 3>Grandma's And you know, when you're a small girl, you

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<v Speaker 3>don't know, but I do.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm listening.

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<v Speaker 4>When you're a.

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<v Speaker 3>Small girl and you go on anywhere remotely tropical for

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<v Speaker 3>a holiday, you have to, as an obligation by law,

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<v Speaker 3>have your hair braided.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah right, yeah. I thought it was purely an Indonesian thing.

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<v Speaker 3>No no, no, no, no, no, no no no, it's a Gold

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<v Speaker 3>Coast thing too, So we're on the coast. The ten

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<v Speaker 3>year old summer was like, I need to get mermaid braids.

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<v Speaker 3>And I'm like, yeah, of course you do anything.

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<v Speaker 1>May do you want it or do you need it?

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<v Speaker 1>I definitely need it.

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<v Speaker 4>It is in need, not a water or a need anyway.

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<v Speaker 3>So she jumped online and she attempted to book her

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<v Speaker 3>Mermaid brand braids for Pacific Fair shopping center on the friday.

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<v Speaker 4>We thought that was all locked in.

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<v Speaker 3>So on the morning of the appointment, we go to

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<v Speaker 3>get the details of said braiding and guess what she'd done.

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<v Speaker 4>She hadn't made an appointment, Andrew. She had booked sixty

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<v Speaker 4>five dollars.

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<v Speaker 3>Worth of blue and pink Mermaid hair to be sent

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<v Speaker 3>to our home in Adelaide.

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<v Speaker 2>This is a queen's lane thing. We can't be seeing

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<v Speaker 2>you looking like Ariel dressed up.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. And also you want me to put them in.

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<v Speaker 3>You want me to braid in the fake hair into yours.

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<v Speaker 1>It works, can you do that?

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<v Speaker 4>Well that's what she did. Yeah, she had it sent here.

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<v Speaker 3>And we're like, well, so, not only do you not

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<v Speaker 3>have braids, but now when we land back in Adelaide,

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<v Speaker 3>we've got sixty five dollars worth of Mermaid hair sitting

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<v Speaker 3>on our front porch.

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<v Speaker 4>What are we going to do with it? Andrew?

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<v Speaker 2>That's good, isn't it really really good stuff? So good

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<v Speaker 2>luck to all the parents out there, particularly the ones

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<v Speaker 2>we've got braided kids.

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<v Speaker 1>She's a different level.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, have you seen it? Have you actually seen what.

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<v Speaker 4>It looks like?

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<v Speaker 2>No, I can picture it because I can picture of braids.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm picturing. I'm picturing a minute, a

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<v Speaker 2>mini Venus and Serena Williams. They burst on the scene.

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<v Speaker 1>That's your daughter, I know. Oh, your daughter's gonna make

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of money. Kids can be brutally honest, so brutal.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh my gosh, not with like the intent to be,

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<v Speaker 3>but they just can be. Yeah, And they can be

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<v Speaker 3>little psychos and the stuff that comes out of their

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<v Speaker 3>mouth can be awful.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and it really really pierces your heart.

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<v Speaker 4>What's happened?

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<v Speaker 2>So we were on holidays a couple of weeks ago,

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<v Speaker 2>and it was a chance for me to take Henry

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<v Speaker 2>to school each and every day for two weeks straight.

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<v Speaker 4>That's so lovely.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes. By midweek of.

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<v Speaker 2>The second week, Henry almost pulled me aside and said, Dad,

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<v Speaker 2>I think I want mum to take to school now.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh.

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<v Speaker 2>It genuinely nearly flawed me oh no, And then without explanation.

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<v Speaker 2>But then Kara did explain to me, she's probably like

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<v Speaker 2>to save my heart. He wants me to take him

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<v Speaker 2>so she can take a Lotty as well, because he

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<v Speaker 2>wants Lotty to play before they go on to school.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not buying it. No, I think he's just half

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<v Speaker 1>broken up with. Really hurts my soul. It's happened a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of times as well.

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<v Speaker 4>How's he going to go when there's another little haze?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh, sure that'll sort him out one. That's

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<v Speaker 2>what about last night as well? He drew Lotty a

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<v Speaker 2>little picture because Lotty was being an absolute.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what.

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<v Speaker 2>Lotty accepted the pitcher, threw it on the ground and

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<v Speaker 2>jumped on it, so that broke his heart.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I said, mate, I like it. I love it.

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<v Speaker 2>I love this picture. What does it take me through it?

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<v Speaker 2>He said, right, I will at in the corner is

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<v Speaker 2>Princess Elsa and those three people that's me, Lottie and Mum.

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<v Speaker 2>And I said, well, Dad didn't get a gig. He said,

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<v Speaker 2>I know, well, you're always at work.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh my god, yes.

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<v Speaker 1>And I reckon.

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<v Speaker 2>The most heartbreaking conversation was when he's starting to get

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<v Speaker 2>in football, and he said, Dad, did you play for

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<v Speaker 2>Port Adelaide And I said, no, mate, I didn't. I

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<v Speaker 2>played for the Bulldogs. And he said, oh, the Western Bulldogs.

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<v Speaker 2>And I had to say no, no, no, mate, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>not in the AFL. And then he genuine said why

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<v Speaker 2>didn't you play in the AFL?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 4>My god, I.

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<v Speaker 1>Was enough.

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<v Speaker 3>Just got your heart in his hands, and he's just

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<v Speaker 3>like squeezing a lot juggling.

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<v Speaker 4>I had one the other day.

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<v Speaker 3>I popped home from work during the day in between

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<v Speaker 3>here and Channel ten and walked in the door and

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<v Speaker 3>and half of the three year old looked at me

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<v Speaker 3>and she said.

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<v Speaker 4>When are you going back to work like that? And

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, oh, she isn't great. You can't want

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<v Speaker 4>me around.

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<v Speaker 3>And then I realized I'd misunderstood her, because she said,

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<v Speaker 3>because you never stay long enough and you always go.

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<v Speaker 4>Back to work.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, she's right too. You're a terrible mother.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, escalated, didn't it?

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<v Speaker 1>It doesn't we get.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, an adult could say anything they want to me,

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<v Speaker 2>pretty much anything. But then your kid says something to

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<v Speaker 2>you which is really much more innocent.

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<v Speaker 3>You're like, oh, you need to go yeah, because there's

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<v Speaker 3>no filter, Absolutely no filter.

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<v Speaker 4>They just say exactly what's in their heart and soul.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and all of our children think we're terrible because

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<v Speaker 3>we're always at work.

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<v Speaker 2>And also I think we can all mutually agree that

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<v Speaker 2>most adults in my life I hate them.

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<v Speaker 1>Good morning, Jade, good morning.

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<v Speaker 5>How are you going?

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<v Speaker 1>Going? Very well? Unload? And what did he or she say?

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<v Speaker 5>Turn around and told me I need to stop eating.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm going to be as round as a.

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<v Speaker 4>Dog, one sort of dog? Is it right?

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<v Speaker 1>This is not a very fair comparison.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh, thank you, No, my body is a lot more compact.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you respond to that? Jade? What's your response

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<v Speaker 1>in that situation?

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<v Speaker 5>I just thought, I just mean I had nothing.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, that'll do.

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<v Speaker 1>You're me you sure to give it back to her?

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<v Speaker 3>It happens, Allison, good morning, Hi morning. What did your

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<v Speaker 3>daughter say one day?

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<v Speaker 5>She looks at me dead in the eyes, and she,

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<v Speaker 5>without any emotion, just said, mum, when you did, can I.

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<v Speaker 1>Have that house? Yeah? Just future thinking that's nice? Wow?

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<v Speaker 2>So now do you keep an eye on our and

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<v Speaker 2>you're sort of half thinking is she plotting my murder?

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<v Speaker 1>Luckily we don't live in that house anymore?

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<v Speaker 3>Do you find her rifling through the filing cabinet looking

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<v Speaker 3>for the the deed to the house and you're life

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<v Speaker 3>insurance policy.

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<v Speaker 4>Then we've got a real issue here. Thanks Alison Many,

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<v Speaker 4>how you going go? Thank you? What did your son say?

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<v Speaker 5>Oh, he's just a terror. It was about three baby,

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<v Speaker 5>nearly fall when I was singing in malalab and he's like, Mommy,

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<v Speaker 5>please stop, you're hurting my ear. And when we're driving

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<v Speaker 5>and I'm humming like Dusto.

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<v Speaker 2>It's really nice feedback, isn't it. Yeah, kids can be

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<v Speaker 2>so brutal and honest. I'll tell you what actually so

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<v Speaker 2>kids when he used to play music back in the day.

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<v Speaker 2>Kids they're the barometer. They are the barometer whether you're

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<v Speaker 2>doing good job or not. So most kids, particularly sort

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<v Speaker 2>of three to five, will get right around it that

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<v Speaker 2>I sort of dancing, and they'll sit in the middle

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<v Speaker 2>of the stage, particular the line hotel, and I'll look

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<v Speaker 2>at you like you're a genuine rock star. There was

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<v Speaker 2>one There was one time and I was hungover as

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<v Speaker 2>hell do so I was like, I think I sound

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<v Speaker 2>pretty awful, but maybe it's just mate. Yeah, the kid

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<v Speaker 2>turned up in the middle of the stage and the

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<v Speaker 2>dead set was looking at me with his fingers plugged

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<v Speaker 2>into his ears.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the feedback I needed. We can all agree that

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<v Speaker 1>I sucked the day.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh dear.

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<v Speaker 2>It is officially school holidays. It brings a time of

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<v Speaker 2>absolute joy slash intense stress for parents, particularly, I've got toddler's.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, toddler's when you're spending all day, every day with them.

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<v Speaker 1>Are a lot toddles.

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<v Speaker 3>Absolute psychopaths certifiable.

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<v Speaker 2>When you look at the genuine definition of a psychopath,

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<v Speaker 2>it checks out for everything that a toddler does.

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<v Speaker 4>My toddler lost her mind the other day. Do you

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<v Speaker 4>know why? Could you even guess why?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know? Interest rates.

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<v Speaker 3>I had the absolute audacity to take her popper and

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<v Speaker 3>I put the straw through the minium foil bit thing.

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<v Speaker 4>You know that I did that and she wanted to

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<v Speaker 4>do it. That was forty five minutes worth of tears.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah you had that on you that. Yeah, yes, you've

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<v Speaker 2>got to be better than that. Our little Lottie who

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<v Speaker 2>is fast approaching three years old, and strange enough, she's

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<v Speaker 2>in charge of our household.

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<v Speaker 1>Yet she can't even properly talk. But how does that work?

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<v Speaker 4>No, you can't properly talk either and you're not.

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<v Speaker 2>Even in charge of your how She talked real good,

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<v Speaker 2>proper good stuff. So she's at LC and we got

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<v Speaker 2>a little message from her teachers the other day, and

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<v Speaker 2>one of the teachers in particular, she's absolutely obsessed with.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm not sure that the feelings are mutual, right.

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<v Speaker 2>So Car sends me a text and it reads, I

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<v Speaker 2>just picked up Lotty from ELC to find out today

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<v Speaker 2>she's been hitting other children. She's been screaming, not listening

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<v Speaker 2>during group time and blew a raspberry in the teacher's

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<v Speaker 2>face when she got told off. And she's a ringleader

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<v Speaker 2>of a little gang who copied her. So we all

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<v Speaker 2>know what that means.

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<v Speaker 1>We've lost it.

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<v Speaker 2>We've lost her to the streets and this particular little

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<v Speaker 2>fierce gang of youths two and a half to three

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<v Speaker 2>year olds. I mean, with just complete disregard for human emotion.

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't matter if you're Joe Schmoe from Wallaru or

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<v Speaker 2>you're the Great Premier of South Australia Peter Malahawskus. They

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<v Speaker 2>will go up to you, look you directly in the

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<v Speaker 2>eye and give you a big old fat rasberry. She's

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<v Speaker 2>two and a half and we're getting these messages. What

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<v Speaker 2>are we supposed to do, like sit down and say

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<v Speaker 2>stop blowing rasberries your teachers.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know, but you know what you have to do.

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<v Speaker 3>You have to stop letting her roll down the streets

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<v Speaker 3>with her little bike, with her little training wheels, with

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<v Speaker 3>the ribbons.

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<v Speaker 4>Flying in the wind, just pulling up to people giving it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a really dangerous message, isn't it.

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<v Speaker 3>I've had one situation at childcare where I went to

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<v Speaker 3>pick up Peyton and apparently she knocked over her little

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<v Speaker 3>tin full of pencils, and the teacher goes to me.

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<v Speaker 3>She said, look, I wanted to tell her off, but

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<v Speaker 3>I couldn't because the timing was just impeccable when she

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<v Speaker 3>looked at it and went off for f.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a natural thing for kids, isn't it. Where did

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<v Speaker 1>she pick up that from? Bloody Gregor?

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<v Speaker 2>I picked up Henry the other day and his teacher

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<v Speaker 2>is absolutely lovely, and she says, I love it when

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<v Speaker 2>they show a bit of personality.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to squash it. So he forgot where

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<v Speaker 1>he was for a second.

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<v Speaker 2>She said to him timing class, and he looked up

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<v Speaker 2>and said, hey, be there.

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<v Speaker 1>She went Henry he got startled.

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry, miss A little bit too comfortable.