Speaker 1: We got get Morning every day. Adelaides.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Jody and Hazy podcasts. Here are some
Speaker 2: of our best bits.
Speaker 3: Hey, it's school holidays, Am I right? Andrew Hayes certainly is.
Speaker 3: And you and I have done what all good responsible
Speaker 3: parents do in the school holidays.
Speaker 4: We've shipped our kids to the Gold.
Speaker 1: Coast, have shipped the kids into state. Is everyone else
Speaker 1: doing that?
Speaker 4: Everyone?
Speaker 1: Because the kids in a different states different times.
Speaker 3: We went with them, and then we went to the
Speaker 3: Netball Grand Final in Melbourne, and then I came home
Speaker 3: and grandma is taking over.
Speaker 4: Thanks Colleen.
Speaker 1: I differ. It's a different topic. But how bloody good
Speaker 1: at grandma.
Speaker 3: Grandma's And you know, when you're a small girl, you
Speaker 3: don't know, but I do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm listening.
Speaker 4: When you're a.
Speaker 3: Small girl and you go on anywhere remotely tropical for
Speaker 3: a holiday, you have to, as an obligation by law,
Speaker 3: have your hair braided.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, yeah. I thought it was purely an Indonesian thing.
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no, no, no no no, it's a Gold
Speaker 3: Coast thing too, So we're on the coast. The ten
Speaker 3: year old summer was like, I need to get mermaid braids.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, yeah, of course you do anything.
Speaker 1: May do you want it or do you need it?
Speaker 1: I definitely need it.
Speaker 4: It is in need, not a water or a need anyway.
Speaker 3: So she jumped online and she attempted to book her
Speaker 3: Mermaid brand braids for Pacific Fair shopping center on the friday.
Speaker 4: We thought that was all locked in.
Speaker 3: So on the morning of the appointment, we go to
Speaker 3: get the details of said braiding and guess what she'd done.
Speaker 4: She hadn't made an appointment, Andrew. She had booked sixty
Speaker 4: five dollars.
Speaker 3: Worth of blue and pink Mermaid hair to be sent
Speaker 3: to our home in Adelaide.
Speaker 2: This is a queen's lane thing. We can't be seeing
Speaker 2: you looking like Ariel dressed up.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And also you want me to put them in.
Speaker 3: You want me to braid in the fake hair into yours.
Speaker 1: It works, can you do that?
Speaker 4: Well that's what she did. Yeah, she had it sent here.
Speaker 3: And we're like, well, so, not only do you not
Speaker 3: have braids, but now when we land back in Adelaide,
Speaker 3: we've got sixty five dollars worth of Mermaid hair sitting
Speaker 3: on our front porch.
Speaker 4: What are we going to do with it? Andrew?
Speaker 2: That's good, isn't it really really good stuff? So good
Speaker 2: luck to all the parents out there, particularly the ones
Speaker 2: we've got braided kids.
Speaker 1: She's a different level.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, have you seen it? Have you actually seen what.
Speaker 4: It looks like?
Speaker 2: No, I can picture it because I can picture of braids.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm picturing. I'm picturing a minute, a
Speaker 2: mini Venus and Serena Williams. They burst on the scene.
Speaker 1: That's your daughter, I know. Oh, your daughter's gonna make
Speaker 1: a lot of money. Kids can be brutally honest, so brutal.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, not with like the intent to be,
Speaker 3: but they just can be. Yeah, And they can be
Speaker 3: little psychos and the stuff that comes out of their
Speaker 3: mouth can be awful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it really really pierces your heart.
Speaker 4: What's happened?
Speaker 2: So we were on holidays a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 2: and it was a chance for me to take Henry
Speaker 2: to school each and every day for two weeks straight.
Speaker 4: That's so lovely.
Speaker 1: Yes. By midweek of.
Speaker 2: The second week, Henry almost pulled me aside and said, Dad,
Speaker 2: I think I want mum to take to school now.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: It genuinely nearly flawed me oh no, And then without explanation.
Speaker 2: But then Kara did explain to me, she's probably like
Speaker 2: to save my heart. He wants me to take him
Speaker 2: so she can take a Lotty as well, because he
Speaker 2: wants Lotty to play before they go on to school.
Speaker 1: I'm not buying it. No, I think he's just half
Speaker 1: broken up with. Really hurts my soul. It's happened a
Speaker 1: couple of times as well.
Speaker 4: How's he going to go when there's another little haze?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, sure that'll sort him out one. That's
Speaker 2: what about last night as well? He drew Lotty a
Speaker 2: little picture because Lotty was being an absolute.
Speaker 1: You know what.
Speaker 2: Lotty accepted the pitcher, threw it on the ground and
Speaker 2: jumped on it, so that broke his heart.
Speaker 1: And then I said, mate, I like it. I love it.
Speaker 2: I love this picture. What does it take me through it?
Speaker 2: He said, right, I will at in the corner is
Speaker 2: Princess Elsa and those three people that's me, Lottie and Mum.
Speaker 2: And I said, well, Dad didn't get a gig. He said,
Speaker 2: I know, well, you're always at work.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, yes.
Speaker 1: And I reckon.
Speaker 2: The most heartbreaking conversation was when he's starting to get
Speaker 2: in football, and he said, Dad, did you play for
Speaker 2: Port Adelaide And I said, no, mate, I didn't. I
Speaker 2: played for the Bulldogs. And he said, oh, the Western Bulldogs.
Speaker 2: And I had to say no, no, no, mate, no, no,
Speaker 2: not in the AFL. And then he genuine said why
Speaker 2: didn't you play in the AFL?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 4: My god, I.
Speaker 1: Was enough.
Speaker 3: Just got your heart in his hands, and he's just
Speaker 3: like squeezing a lot juggling.
Speaker 4: I had one the other day.
Speaker 3: I popped home from work during the day in between
Speaker 3: here and Channel ten and walked in the door and
Speaker 3: and half of the three year old looked at me
Speaker 3: and she said.
Speaker 4: When are you going back to work like that? And
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, she isn't great. You can't want
Speaker 4: me around.
Speaker 3: And then I realized I'd misunderstood her, because she said,
Speaker 3: because you never stay long enough and you always go.
Speaker 4: Back to work.
Speaker 1: Wow, she's right too. You're a terrible mother.
Speaker 4: Oh, escalated, didn't it?
Speaker 1: It doesn't we get.
Speaker 2: I mean, an adult could say anything they want to me,
Speaker 2: pretty much anything. But then your kid says something to
Speaker 2: you which is really much more innocent.
Speaker 3: You're like, oh, you need to go yeah, because there's
Speaker 3: no filter, Absolutely no filter.
Speaker 4: They just say exactly what's in their heart and soul.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and all of our children think we're terrible because
Speaker 3: we're always at work.
Speaker 2: And also I think we can all mutually agree that
Speaker 2: most adults in my life I hate them.
Speaker 1: Good morning, Jade, good morning.
Speaker 5: How are you going?
Speaker 1: Going? Very well? Unload? And what did he or she say?
Speaker 5: Turn around and told me I need to stop eating.
Speaker 5: I'm going to be as round as a.
Speaker 4: Dog, one sort of dog? Is it right?
Speaker 1: This is not a very fair comparison.
Speaker 5: Oh, thank you, No, my body is a lot more compact.
Speaker 1: How do you respond to that? Jade? What's your response
Speaker 1: in that situation?
Speaker 5: I just thought, I just mean I had nothing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that'll do.
Speaker 1: You're me you sure to give it back to her?
Speaker 3: It happens, Allison, good morning, Hi morning. What did your
Speaker 3: daughter say one day?
Speaker 5: She looks at me dead in the eyes, and she,
Speaker 5: without any emotion, just said, mum, when you did, can I.
Speaker 1: Have that house? Yeah? Just future thinking that's nice? Wow?
Speaker 2: So now do you keep an eye on our and
Speaker 2: you're sort of half thinking is she plotting my murder?
Speaker 1: Luckily we don't live in that house anymore?
Speaker 3: Do you find her rifling through the filing cabinet looking
Speaker 3: for the the deed to the house and you're life
Speaker 3: insurance policy.
Speaker 4: Then we've got a real issue here. Thanks Alison Many,
Speaker 4: how you going go? Thank you? What did your son say?
Speaker 5: Oh, he's just a terror. It was about three baby,
Speaker 5: nearly fall when I was singing in malalab and he's like, Mommy,
Speaker 5: please stop, you're hurting my ear. And when we're driving
Speaker 5: and I'm humming like Dusto.
Speaker 2: It's really nice feedback, isn't it. Yeah, kids can be
Speaker 2: so brutal and honest. I'll tell you what actually so
Speaker 2: kids when he used to play music back in the day.
Speaker 2: Kids they're the barometer. They are the barometer whether you're
Speaker 2: doing good job or not. So most kids, particularly sort
Speaker 2: of three to five, will get right around it that
Speaker 2: I sort of dancing, and they'll sit in the middle
Speaker 2: of the stage, particular the line hotel, and I'll look
Speaker 2: at you like you're a genuine rock star. There was
Speaker 2: one There was one time and I was hungover as
Speaker 2: hell do so I was like, I think I sound
Speaker 2: pretty awful, but maybe it's just mate. Yeah, the kid
Speaker 2: turned up in the middle of the stage and the
Speaker 2: dead set was looking at me with his fingers plugged
Speaker 2: into his ears.
Speaker 1: That's the feedback I needed. We can all agree that
Speaker 1: I sucked the day.
Speaker 3: Oh dear.
Speaker 2: It is officially school holidays. It brings a time of
Speaker 2: absolute joy slash intense stress for parents, particularly, I've got toddler's.
Speaker 3: Yeah, toddler's when you're spending all day, every day with them.
Speaker 1: Are a lot toddles.
Speaker 3: Absolute psychopaths certifiable.
Speaker 2: When you look at the genuine definition of a psychopath,
Speaker 2: it checks out for everything that a toddler does.
Speaker 4: My toddler lost her mind the other day. Do you
Speaker 4: know why? Could you even guess why?
Speaker 1: I don't know? Interest rates.
Speaker 3: I had the absolute audacity to take her popper and
Speaker 3: I put the straw through the minium foil bit thing.
Speaker 4: You know that I did that and she wanted to
Speaker 4: do it. That was forty five minutes worth of tears.
Speaker 2: Yeah you had that on you that. Yeah, yes, you've
Speaker 2: got to be better than that. Our little Lottie who
Speaker 2: is fast approaching three years old, and strange enough, she's
Speaker 2: in charge of our household.
Speaker 1: Yet she can't even properly talk. But how does that work?
Speaker 4: No, you can't properly talk either and you're not.
Speaker 2: Even in charge of your how She talked real good,
Speaker 2: proper good stuff. So she's at LC and we got
Speaker 2: a little message from her teachers the other day, and
Speaker 2: one of the teachers in particular, she's absolutely obsessed with.
Speaker 2: But I'm not sure that the feelings are mutual, right.
Speaker 2: So Car sends me a text and it reads, I
Speaker 2: just picked up Lotty from ELC to find out today
Speaker 2: she's been hitting other children. She's been screaming, not listening
Speaker 2: during group time and blew a raspberry in the teacher's
Speaker 2: face when she got told off. And she's a ringleader
Speaker 2: of a little gang who copied her. So we all
Speaker 2: know what that means.
Speaker 1: We've lost it.
Speaker 2: We've lost her to the streets and this particular little
Speaker 2: fierce gang of youths two and a half to three
Speaker 2: year olds. I mean, with just complete disregard for human emotion.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter if you're Joe Schmoe from Wallaru or
Speaker 2: you're the Great Premier of South Australia Peter Malahawskus. They
Speaker 2: will go up to you, look you directly in the
Speaker 2: eye and give you a big old fat rasberry. She's
Speaker 2: two and a half and we're getting these messages. What
Speaker 2: are we supposed to do, like sit down and say
Speaker 2: stop blowing rasberries your teachers.
Speaker 3: I don't know, but you know what you have to do.
Speaker 3: You have to stop letting her roll down the streets
Speaker 3: with her little bike, with her little training wheels, with
Speaker 3: the ribbons.
Speaker 4: Flying in the wind, just pulling up to people giving it.
Speaker 1: It's a really dangerous message, isn't it.
Speaker 3: I've had one situation at childcare where I went to
Speaker 3: pick up Peyton and apparently she knocked over her little
Speaker 3: tin full of pencils, and the teacher goes to me.
Speaker 3: She said, look, I wanted to tell her off, but
Speaker 3: I couldn't because the timing was just impeccable when she
Speaker 3: looked at it and went off for f.
Speaker 1: That's a natural thing for kids, isn't it. Where did
Speaker 1: she pick up that from? Bloody Gregor?
Speaker 2: I picked up Henry the other day and his teacher
Speaker 2: is absolutely lovely, and she says, I love it when
Speaker 2: they show a bit of personality.
Speaker 1: I don't want to squash it. So he forgot where
Speaker 1: he was for a second.
Speaker 2: She said to him timing class, and he looked up
Speaker 2: and said, hey, be there.
Speaker 1: She went Henry he got startled.
Speaker 2: Sorry, miss A little bit too comfortable.