WEBVTT - Life Lessons From Rugby Legend, Mat Rogers 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:03.360 We'd like to acknowledge that traditional custodians of the land 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:06.800 on which this podcast was produced the gadigall people of 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:10.440 the urination. We pay our respects to Elder's past and present. 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:16.239 This episode contains discussion of suicide. If this raises any 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:19.160 issues for you, support is available through the links and 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:20.800 phone numbers in the show notes. 0:00:22.079 --> 0:00:24.800 Now they go along the line the folk mother of Rogers, 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:28.400 Rogers with that incisive place of Issadum, and he's accelerated 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:32.839 himself with the first that's so run from his outside. 0:00:37.080 --> 0:00:40.800 It's October twenty twenty two and Matt Rodgers has the 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:45.479 first copy of his memoir in his hands. It's titled 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:51.519 A Father's Son. This is a big moment. These pages 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:54.600 are filled with the memories and stories that shaped his 0:00:54.760 --> 0:00:59.840 journey to greatness. He's one of the most talented footbulers 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:03.840 of the modern era and a dual international in rugby 0:01:03.960 --> 0:01:09.080 league and rugby union, but carving this path hasn't been easy. 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:14.199 These same pages share the heartache and hardships he's experienced 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:19.160 along the way, from experimental surgery to losing his parents 0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:24.640 in tragic circumstances. In writing this book, Matt has reflected 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:30.479 on it all for the very first time. I'm Att 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:35.760 Middleton and this is head Game today. Matt Rogers on 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:44.000 creating his own identity and legacy. Now I'm super stoked 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:47.480 to have the legend that is Matt Rogers on the 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:49.960 head Game. Matt, how are you, buddy going? 0:01:50.040 --> 0:01:53.200 Well, I'm going well, yeah, just living the dream. Some 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:55.840 would say up here on the Gold Coast and they're 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:56.559 enjoying life. 0:01:56.920 --> 0:01:59.080 Good mate, that's music to my ears. I'm glad you're 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:01.240 enjoying life. Got a big smile on your face. It 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:03.040 looks like you're in a You're in a good place, 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:06.920 which is always always important. Talk to me about the 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:11.919 younger Matt Rogers. You know, obviously you were introduced into 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:15.000 the Fretty world from the moment you were born, right. 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:19.440 Yeah, absolutely. I Mean my childhood was a bit I 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:21.720 was full on. You know, I had an older brother. 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:26.359 Obviously my dad was the footing star, so it was 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:29.919 always around us. So at a very young age, you know, 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:32.079 having that older brother who was a couple of years older, 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:33.760 and mean, I just wanted to play footy with him, 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:36.519 and you know, he started playing and I was sort 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:39.560 of out of the loop, so to speak. With him 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:41.760 and my dad and my older brother. They would talk 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:43.639 footy and I was like this sort of four year 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:45.840 old trying to get in on the chats and I 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:47.760 wasn't a part of it because I wasn't playing. So 0:02:47.880 --> 0:02:53.160 I kicked them screened and got thet got the tick 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:55.600 of approval to go and play from my dad. Actually, 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:57.880 my mum just got sick of me badgering her like 0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:00.880 you know, tears, and I said, I want to play. 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:04.160 And normally some mums keeping their little kids out of footy, 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:06.239 but my mum was like, right, if your father says 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:09.840 it's all right, you can play. So Dad finally relented 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:12.720 and let me play it ninety four the ball. Back 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:14.639 in those days there was no many footy, so the 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:16.799 ball was sort of as big as me. There's a 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:19.120 picture of me holding it and it's almost got two 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:22.359 arms around it. I was pretty talented sports wise. I 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:25.760 can coordination all that sort of stuff, and probably just 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:27.760 had it over my brother and not not quite much, 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:30.840 but enough. From the age of about sort of seven 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:34.040 and onwards, I started to get the wood over him 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:35.640 in a lot of the game. Right back. You've got 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:38.520 to think back then, there was no yeah, I mean, 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:41.800 atari was probably there was none of that stuff. So 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:44.920 we went outside playing everything. I was a faster runner 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:48.640 than him, and so, yeah, made I beat him in 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:50.560 tennis and he just beat the shit out of me. 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:53.880 And I beat him in handball and he just cracked 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:56.560 me in and I just and I used to win. 0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:59.640 Your complaining to mum. And my brother used to get 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:01.240 a bit of a hiding off my dad every time 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:03.280 he did it to me because I was his little brother. 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:08.520 But and my mom, well, she couldn't really do anything 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:11.120 about it. Like my mom would say to me, like, 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:14.640 you can easily stop it, just stop beating him. And 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:16.480 I'm like, no way in the world am I going 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:18.800 to stop beating him, Like it's the only thing I've 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:19.280 got over. 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:21.960 Him, because to stop the beatings, you got to stop beating. 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:23.159 Yeah. 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:25.799 Yeah, it sounded like that you were really really close 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:28.360 the three boys of the house. Is that correct? Or 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:29.720 were you all really close? 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:33.760 Well, my dad, my dad was hard on my brother, 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:37.039 and I probably harder on my brother. My brother had 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:38.840 it pretty rough when he was younger because he wasn't 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:41.560 quite the athlete that I was, and I was sort 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:44.000 of following dad and he was trying and he was 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:47.280 pretty rough. I sort of got a little bit of 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:49.120 favor from the old man because I was pretty good 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:50.960 at football. But I was trying to sort of follow 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:56.080 on his footsteps and trying to get his attention. And yeah, 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:59.239 it's the old story. You know, back in the seventies 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:02.320 and eighties, men were different. You know, the love and 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:05.560 affection wasn't the same. And it's the story is like 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:08.120 every guy my age I talked to, it's like the same. 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:10.080 Like you know, trying to get your attention to your 0:05:10.080 --> 0:05:13.320 old men and they're you know, they're being hard and tough, 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:14.920 and then you look at their life, like my old 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:17.560 man was my old man. That pop, My pop was 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:21.039 a World War two it and just mate, just tough 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:25.240 as nails and just showed zero emotions, zero love. And 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:26.160 that was my old man. 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:27.480 Yeah, that was there. 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:31.719 And like I'm like, well, I'm just getting the flow 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:36.400 on of that. So I look back and I just, man, 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:38.960 I'm grateful for it. I've got to be honest now 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:41.120 because I look at the world now and I just say, man, 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:43.400 I mean I've got a business where I have to 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:47.200 hire people and I see them mentally the life and 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:49.320 I just makes you want to throw up. 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:52.520 It's changed so much, doesn't It's like, you know, if 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:55.640 you've done what you've done, you know, and what was 0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:57.520 done to you years ago, and they're not in a 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:59.960 bad way. But you know, that's why we're so disciplined, 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:03.120 and that's why we're so we're resilient, that's why we're tougher. 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:05.720 And it's just a different, different era, isn't it. 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:09.719 Yeah. And I'm not throwing shade on this generation because 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:11.800 I think there's some great stuff, you know. I mean, 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:13.839 I've got kids that are growing up in this generation. 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:17.159 And you know, sometimes sometimes I like have to catch 0:06:17.240 --> 0:06:19.840 myself or my wife certainly catches me. It's like you gotta, 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:22.400 you know, give them a compliment rather than just going 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:24.280 after what they're doing wrong, or you've got to you know, 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:27.480 like it's hard, you know. I think my twenty eight 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:31.160 year old boy, my oldest boy, he probably caught the 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:33.479 worst because I was a new parent, I was young, 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:36.560 and I was just sort of doing what I've been 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:39.920 shown and I just here's what I know, and I 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:43.240 just I just know the world is frigging hard. The 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:45.440 world is a hard place, and it does not care 0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:48.280 about you. And if you lay down and you think 0:06:48.360 --> 0:06:51.240 it's gonna pick you back up, It just it will not. 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:53.000 It will kick you when you're down. 0:06:52.920 --> 0:06:54.840 And it will hold you exactly. If you think it's 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:58.000 going to, you know, give you opportunities, and if it's 0:06:58.040 --> 0:06:59.720 going to lay lay everything on a platter for you, 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:01.920 you're mistaken. You've got to go out there. You've got 0:07:02.000 --> 0:07:03.599 to get it. You've got to tackle it, you've got 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:05.040 to face it, you got to challenge it. 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:07.960 So from sort of age age, sort of, I would say, 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:11.920 seventeen to twenty one, my oldest boy sort of rebelled 0:07:12.320 --> 0:07:15.200 and I actually thought I lost him. I thought, I 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:18.280 don't know what's going to happen here. And you know, fortunately, 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:22.160 now you know, he's married and got his little my granddaughter, 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:25.400 his daughter Elsie, with his wife, Maddie, and it's beautiful. 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:26.840 I love it, you know, And I love the man 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:30.880 he's become. And he's focused and he's disciplined. And I 0:07:31.000 --> 0:07:33.200 probably put that down to the hardness of you know, 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:35.560 back in the early days of his life, when I've 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:38.120 just tried to drill into him. It's like, mane, it 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:40.000 doesn't matter who you are, doesn't matter what your last 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:44.280 name is, doesn't matter. If you're good, if you can't deliver, you. 0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:47.080 Go on and if anyone knows that, it's you, right, 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:49.880 because you grew up with your dad, Steve, being an 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:52.640 absolute legend in the game and going on to be 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:55.760 in the CEO of the club, etc. So talk about 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.520 you know the name, talk about the pressure, talk about 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:02.880 the validation that you seeking, Like, like you said, was 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:05.160 the pressure sometimes too much as a kid. And I 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:08.160 talk about you know, young teenage sort of years going 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:11.560 into into becoming a professional. How did that weigh on 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:12.200 your shoulders? 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:15.559 Yeah, I think I handled it pretty well, to be honest, 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:18.840 as a as a kid, you know, as a as 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:22.600 a as a teenager, I sort of arrogantly embraced it. 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:26.560 And when I would go and play in competitions or 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:29.400 I'd be trying out for repsides, I would use that 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:32.160 as fuel, like I'm Steve Rogerson, Like no one's going 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:33.920 to be better than me. You know, I'm going to 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:35.200 go out there and I'm going to show them because 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:37.480 I want to hear people. Would you would walk past 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:40.199 a group of people they say, that's that's Steve Rodgerson, 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:43.200 that's you know, you'd hear the whispers and I would 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:46.000 be like yeah, and I'll show you. You know, it 0:08:46.160 --> 0:08:50.559 wasn't until probably moving into the professional ranks when it 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:53.040 really started to annoy me. And I'm embarrassed to say it, 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:55.560 to be honest, like it it sort of really pissed 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:57.520 me off as it like a sort of seventeen to 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:01.640 sort of twenty one the first year, you know, I 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:03.439 got up to Kernulla and it was like, you know, 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:05.200 my name was written in the paper if I did 0:09:05.280 --> 0:09:07.840 something good, but it was never Matt Rogers. I felt 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:10.360 like my name for a period of time was Matt Rogers, 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:13.880 son of former test great Steve Rodgers. Like if my 0:09:14.000 --> 0:09:16.920 name was written in any news article, that's how it 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:19.319 was written, Matt Rodgers, son of form of tests great 0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:22.599 Steve Rodgers. But what I sort of failed to realize was, 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:25.679 you know, at that age, because you're just not mature enough, 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:27.080 is he don't have the right to have his name 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:31.000 like that after what he'd done. And I see young 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:34.600 athletes now coming into the game with fathers who had 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:36.920 done it before them, you know, as the Zoo Boys 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:40.719 are perfect examples like trying to force her own. But 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:44.240 that Zoo name, the reason people know that name is 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:47.679 because of your dad, you know, like until you came 0:09:47.720 --> 0:09:50.680 on the scene and you're doing amazing things. Boys, you're 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:54.160 doing great, but you're old man. That's why that name 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:56.200 is known now. We all know you now because you're 0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:59.440 doing great things. But you know, honor that name, don't 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:01.520 care it to try to build yourself up, and that 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:03.760 was what I was doing. And I just I'm like, 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:06.480 I'm Matt Rogers. You know, I don't want to I 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:08.719 don't want my name written like this. And you know, 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:12.200 my mum, you know, I went through a tragic sort 0:10:12.240 --> 0:10:15.200 of you know, five years of cancer and brain tumor 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:18.439 and everything. And it wasn't until she came and watched 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:21.360 me play in an Australian game and she collapsed at 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:25.000 halftime and that's when they discovered she had a brain 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:27.320 tumor and she got rushed into surgery. I got rushed 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:29.520 off the field. At the end of the game. I 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:31.559 had the best game that I'd ever had for Australia. 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:33.320 I think I scored a few tries, kicked the sway 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:36.719 your goals and set a record for most points in 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:39.959 the game. And I get rushed to the hospital and 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:43.520 my mum's literally being taken in taken in to be 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:46.040 operated and I've got to have emergency surgery. And she's 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:48.839 in right in the room before you go into the 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:50.800 operating toater, that little room you know where they do 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:53.199 sh up with sort of pre med stuff, and you're 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:55.240 all woozing, you know, and I sort of rush in 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:57.280 there and she grabs me and I don't know whether 0:10:57.280 --> 0:10:59.199 I'm going to ever seen my mum again. Like she is, 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:02.560 you know, brain surgery, and it was heavy. She'd been 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:05.400 going through breast cancer for about four years at upstage. 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:09.959 She pulls me in tight. She says, you know, you've 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:11.800 made it, You've made it, and I'm not what do 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:13.920 you mean? She goes, I'm not Steve Rodgers's wife anymore. 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:18.880 I'm Met Rogers's mom, you know. And wow, that was huge. 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:22.120 And that must have been when she got to the 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:24.240 game or you know, people must have said, oh, your 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:26.520 MAT's mom, you know, like said like everywhere she went 0:11:26.559 --> 0:11:29.120 before it was oh, you're Steve's wife, you know, And 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:32.640 for her to be thinking of me in that moment, 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:36.079 you know, just really that was that was who my 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:36.520 mum was. 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:40.319 And you said she was battling cancer four years to 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:40.840 that point. 0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:43.920 For that, yeah, yeah. I mean she died at forty 0:11:44.000 --> 0:11:46.840 six breast cancer. You know, so she was very young, 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:49.360 and they rattled the whole family. You know, I've got 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:52.000 to tell you like it was. She was. She was 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:54.079 really the glue that held everything together. My dad was 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:56.480 sort of a man's man and a wild boy and 0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:58.959 you know, he could fit in anywhere, but she was 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:00.720 definitely the glue that helped every run together. 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:04.760 So and Matt let me just quickly rewind there. So 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:07.600 when so you're going through this and I don't want 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:09.679 to call it an identity crisis, you know, because it's not. 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:11.880 You know exactly who you are. You're strong, you're on 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:14.480 the pitch, you're playing, you're loving the game. But always 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:18.480 this is happening as well. You're you're bat you're obviously 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:21.720 at your mom's side, battling, helping her, trying to battle cancer. 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:26.640 So you've got your mum, your dad, and then you're 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:30.200 gain to concentrate on how did you split your time 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:32.160 between between all of that. 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:35.400 Yeah, it was hard. It's a young family too at 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:37.840 the time, you know, you know, a little one year 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:41.640 old and a three year old at the time. It 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.559 was probably one of the hardest times in my life, 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:48.839 you know, just and my dad was really just not 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:52.839 not not ignorant to the fact of how bad the 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:55.800 situation was, but it affected him so much you didn't 0:12:55.800 --> 0:12:59.600 want to acknowledge it. So you know, at the back end, 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:02.720 you know, when Mum was in pallative care, I remember 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:09.320 him just being, you know, so absent from the situation. 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:13.640 Like Mum and Dad were, you know, teenage sweethearts, you know, 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:16.000 like they met on the Gold Coast and you fell 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:19.880 in love, and Mum was all Dad new in terms 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:23.559 of his home life, and and I knew, and I 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:25.480 knew when Mum was gone my dad and Dad is 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:27.959 this is not going to be good for that because 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:31.079 he was just so dependent on mom. And Mom was 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:34.360 just so amazing with us and with him, and she 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:36.880 was my dad was a hard man, so it was 0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:38.719 hard to talk to. And Mum was a conduit for 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.520 all us kids to Dad, except for my sister. My 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:43.760 sister got everything off Dad, you know, like she was 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:47.760 Dad's ye know, but but for us boys, like if 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:49.360 we didn't have Mum, it was hard to speak to that. 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:51.920 That's interesting. How is your how was your relationship with 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:52.319 your dad? 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:55.959 Then? Well, we weren't we didn't get on because he 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:57.840 was my boss at the time. He was the Carnola 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:01.719 Shark's boss, and I was and I was one of 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:04.600 the star players, so to speak. So he would try 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:07.079 to get me to do stuff because it was easy 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:09.520 for him that other players didn't want to do. So 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:13.160 go and do a morning to this business and spend 0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:15.000 an hour with their clients, and go and do this. 0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:16.840 And he just used to put it on me every 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:18.800 week and I'm like, no, I'm not doing it. I'm 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:20.560 going to see him month, I'm going to spend time. 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:22.320 Mom was in pallative care at the time. This is 0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:25.320 the back end. And I just remember this man Dad 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:30.240 just like Buttonhead so much, and I just, you know, 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:32.000 I think I wrote about it in my book I 0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:34.920 lost my Dad. I literally didn't like he was not 0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:38.560 my My phone would ring and I was like, is 0:14:38.600 --> 0:14:40.680 this my dad? Call him? Or is this the CEO 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:43.360 of the Canal Sharks Court. And so I just put 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:45.480 him into the phone and I would never return his calls. 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.960 So I just didn't speak to him, and it just 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:52.600 became really hard for both of us. So and that 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:57.320 was a very big That was a big conduct for 0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.840 the reason why I left because I wanted to get 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:02.240 my dad back. I didn't want him to be my 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:05.400 boss anymore, you know, particularly after all the stuff that 0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:08.280 we were going through and being through. But but you 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:11.880 know my mom, you know, you got lover like she's 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:16.560 you know, imparative care. She's you weeks away from dying, 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:19.080 and she tells me on a deathbed, you can't leave Cronulla. 0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:23.320 It'll ruin your dad. And I'm like, what, I can't 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:26.040 do that, mum, Like you can't tell me that I'm 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:29.280 an adult. I've got a wife and kids and you 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:32.960 can't tell me that. Like it's unfair, it's sort of all. 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:34.560 It sort of broke my heart to be honest, that 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:36.760 she would say that to me. But I mean, it 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:38.680 would have been worse if I went to Saint George 0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:40.400 or off I went to Manly, or if I went 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:43.920 to like if I stayed in rugby league and went 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:46.120 to another club, that would have been worse. For that, 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:48.200 it would have been worse, like as the CEO of 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:50.840 the club and you know, one of their star players 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:53.080 lose and it's your son, Like you can't work that out. 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:56.760 So for me and having the rugged union background, so 0:15:57.440 --> 0:16:00.000 you know, fortunately, you know After a couple of weeks, 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:03.880 Mom mum and obviously spoken to Dad and me and 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:07.880 she realized what was going on. So, you know, before 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:10.240 she passed, she's she actually said to me, you have 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:13.720 to leave, You have to get out of there, otherwise 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:16.360 it's this is this can't be you too. You know, 0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:18.760 like my dad was my hero, you know, like most 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:22.000 young boys said, dad's a hero. And the crazy thing 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:23.840 about my dad being my hero, he was every kid 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:26.920 in the neighborhoods hero as well, So like you know, 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:29.600 he was it was and I just wanted to be 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:32.600 like him. And this was a really really hard time 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:35.040 in my life where I sort of felt like I'd 0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:38.080 lost him and I was about to lose my mind. 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:39.840 When you started, were you starting to dislike him? Because 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:42.280 I went through the same with with with my with 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:44.640 my parents. I started to dislike them and then I 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:47.040 didn't want to be around them. And it was like, 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.560 like you said that he's your hero, and then all 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:51.120 of a sudden, you're starting to hate your hero. 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:56.680 It's you got I was furious. I was furious just 0:16:57.920 --> 0:17:00.800 with a lot of things that were going on, and 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:04.640 I just I couldn't believe it. I did I did 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:09.280 lean towards that, you know, like there was always sort 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:12.560 of like like that didn't build sort of love. But 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:15.440 I was just hating being in his space, and I 0:17:15.600 --> 0:17:17.800 just didn't want to see him. Yeah. 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:19.520 The only reason why I say that is because when 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:21.440 you got the calls and you said I wouldn't even 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:22.960 call back, is because you didn't even want to be 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:24.640 around him. You didn't even want to hear his voice. 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:26.960 And I've been there where you're just like and you 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:31.040 I realized that I start to hate one of my parents, 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:33.800 and I was like, Wow, that's a really really bad 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:36.080 place to be in a really bad headspace to be in. 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:38.520 And then your mom. I love that your mum on 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:42.359 her deathbed of all places, bless her. She's now the 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:46.200 you know she does she help mold this situation into 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:47.600 into you leaving right. 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:51.040 Yeah, well, you know, you know the crazy thing about 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:55.120 it was, you know, she said that a few days 0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:57.760 later she passed away. Dad wasn't there. I was there, 0:17:57.800 --> 0:17:59.080 and I had the ring dad and tell him that 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:02.960 Mom had gone, and he got there, and you know, 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:05.760 we just broke down and hugged and sort of made 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:08.719 a pact that we'd be okay. And I told him 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:13.080 that day I was leaving, and he said he understood 0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:15.240 and he'd support me one hundred percent, to the point 0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:18.920 where as the CEO of the kronol Of Sharks at 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:21.640 my press conference for the Australian Rugby Union, he came 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:24.760 and sat next to me on the table, which is 0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:26.000 a pretty big move. 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:40.159 How did your mum's passing affect you psychologically? What was 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:43.800 going through your head? And how how did you move 0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:44.920 on psychologically from that? 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:50.520 Yeah, it's a long time ago now, you know. I've 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:52.359 had a lot of people ask me how did you do? 0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:54.119 How did you go through all that stuff? Like how 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:58.440 did you do it? And and I think I just 0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:02.359 I just wanted to sort of like a mode of 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:04.920 just do what needs to be done, you know, and 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:10.800 and kept busy, like you know, I remember I organized, 0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:12.920 you know, all of my mum's funeral with my brother 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:15.320 and my sister, you know, like we did a dad didn't. 0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:16.840 I didn't my dad to have to worry about it. 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:21.840 You know, we did it all. You know. I just 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:27.280 I tried to you know, you know it's funny you're 0:19:27.280 --> 0:19:30.560 asking me this. I got on with life, but I 0:19:30.720 --> 0:19:33.879 never I never broke down. I never I never cried. 0:19:34.720 --> 0:19:34.880 Never. 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:39.960 I just thought until I remember my wife, now, Chloe, 0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:45.760 we were sitting in my apartment and we just started 0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:49.520 talking about my mum. And you know, Chloe reminds me 0:19:49.600 --> 0:19:51.520 so much of my mum, you know, like just their 0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:54.480 outgoing nature. And but you know, you could put her 0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:56.320 in the room with the Queen, she'd sit right in, 0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:58.080 or you could chuck her in the sports bar of 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:00.320 Nordis and she'd pull me out by me year if 0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:03.440 I was playing out. That's true. Actually, my mum had 0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:03.920 to be like that. 0:20:04.320 --> 0:20:08.320 And I think a good level keep your grounded, right, Yeah, 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:09.119 exactly so. 0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:13.639 And I just remember just breaking down that night and crying, 0:20:13.840 --> 0:20:15.719 and Chloie asked me if you ever cried over your 0:20:15.760 --> 0:20:18.280 mom and what not? And I broke down. I just 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:22.200 uncontrollably cried for about an hour with Chloie you hugging me, 0:20:23.040 --> 0:20:26.880 and I just I'll never forget that night. And yeah, 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:30.480 I just I just think I just shut it all down, 0:20:30.600 --> 0:20:32.800 you know, because I was, you know, the guy out 0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:35.280 in the public and you know, everybody was looking at me, 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:39.200 and yeah, I had to I had to be strong 0:20:39.280 --> 0:20:42.720 for the family, so to speak, and tried tried not 0:20:42.840 --> 0:20:44.320 to have to deal with it, I guess. But in 0:20:44.400 --> 0:20:49.960 the end, you know, it all comes around, and you 0:20:50.080 --> 0:20:52.639 know what, it was just that moment where you know, 0:20:52.760 --> 0:20:55.000 it just all came out and it was just I'll 0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:57.160 tell you what. I wake up the next day feeling amazing. 0:20:58.040 --> 0:21:01.560 It was just the best I've been there. Mate, You've 0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:03.879 been there. You sort of you do. It's supurge that 0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:06.960 you need the emotional dump that you need. It obviously 0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:10.359 didn't affect your your your footy. Obviously didn't affect your 0:21:10.400 --> 0:21:14.080 play because you just you just was it a sense 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:19.160 of escapism, hitting the hitting the footy pitch ye thanks. 0:21:19.280 --> 0:21:22.680 Yeah, yeah, Like you know, there's a few things I 0:21:22.800 --> 0:21:26.359 love doing, right I used to. I love playing footy 0:21:26.480 --> 0:21:28.359 because now one can get to you, and it's your space. 0:21:28.680 --> 0:21:30.880 You're out there, you know, sort of doing your thing 0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:34.520 with your mates. I love surfing because I could paddle 0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:37.159 out to the ocean and now I'm like, and if 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:40.040 someone's annoying, I can just paddle away. I'm just out 0:21:40.040 --> 0:21:43.120 there enjoying nature. And you know, I love playing golf 0:21:43.240 --> 0:21:46.399 or running through the trails in the bush, just outside 0:21:46.480 --> 0:21:49.760 away from people where I mean, I'm in my own world. 0:21:49.920 --> 0:21:53.720 So just a lot of that stuff. And yeah, and 0:21:54.520 --> 0:21:59.040 and fody just you know, foody always came easy to me. 0:21:59.119 --> 0:22:01.159 You know, it wasn't it wasn't hard for me to do. 0:22:02.880 --> 0:22:05.280 But you have to train hard to be good, don't 0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:09.480 get me wrong, But footy came easy. So I, you know, 0:22:10.040 --> 0:22:12.560 after my mom passed, I just you know, really sort 0:22:12.600 --> 0:22:14.399 of stuck my head down and my butt up. And 0:22:15.119 --> 0:22:16.680 you know, I just signed to go over to rugby, 0:22:16.760 --> 0:22:18.120 so I wanted to do well there and it meant 0:22:18.119 --> 0:22:19.560 a lot to me not to go over there and 0:22:19.720 --> 0:22:24.240 just take a paycheck and not perform. So yeah, I 0:22:24.400 --> 0:22:27.960 totally enjoyed that that change, and that was it sort 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:29.840 of happened at a good time. In a month passed, 0:22:29.920 --> 0:22:32.280 my season ended. I finished off with the Sharks. We 0:22:32.320 --> 0:22:36.720 played a prelim finally against the Knights, and the last 0:22:36.800 --> 0:22:39.840 try I scored my best made who I played with 0:22:40.080 --> 0:22:42.320 the Sharks. He was the hooker and he was useless 0:22:42.440 --> 0:22:45.920 at kicking the ball anyway, For some unbeknown reason, he 0:22:46.000 --> 0:22:47.640 jumped out of doub me half and kicks the ball 0:22:47.680 --> 0:22:50.320 and I run down and the third full back knocks 0:22:50.359 --> 0:22:51.800 it on and I ended up scoring a try. So 0:22:51.880 --> 0:22:55.159 that was my last try in rugby league at the Sharks, 0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:58.280 and it was off my mate's rotten kick, which was hilarious. 0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:00.920 It was a lot of how you go out meant 0:23:00.960 --> 0:23:02.080 to be, mate, it was meant to. 0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:06.720 Be went over to rugby and having that change. Although 0:23:06.720 --> 0:23:09.120 I played rugby a lot, like I didn't play any 0:23:09.160 --> 0:23:12.880 rugby league as a teenager. I just played was oh sorry. 0:23:12.920 --> 0:23:14.720 I came back to the Sharks as a seventeen year old, 0:23:14.760 --> 0:23:18.600 but you know, from from fourteen to seventeen it was 0:23:18.680 --> 0:23:21.400 just rugby. I didn't play any ugue, so I knew 0:23:21.440 --> 0:23:23.800 the game, but coming back to it at twenty six, 0:23:25.280 --> 0:23:26.960 there was still a lot I had to sort of 0:23:27.240 --> 0:23:28.800 scrub up on a lot of stuff, so I didn't 0:23:28.840 --> 0:23:31.680 have time to think about anything else but that. And 0:23:32.320 --> 0:23:34.480 so the timing was good for that move, Like one 0:23:34.600 --> 0:23:38.760 pass finished the season straight into my changeover to rugby, 0:23:39.240 --> 0:23:41.840 and it just gave me a real sort of new 0:23:41.960 --> 0:23:44.119 lease on life. You know, my dad and I were 0:23:44.119 --> 0:23:46.040 getting on like a house on fire because he wasn't 0:23:46.080 --> 0:23:48.480 my boss, he was my dad again, and I felt 0:23:48.560 --> 0:23:50.760 really good about where my life was, you know, it 0:23:50.880 --> 0:23:52.280 was in the right direction. 0:23:52.880 --> 0:23:55.760 And we spoke about how it affected you psychologically. How 0:23:55.800 --> 0:23:58.399 did it affect your dad because you said at the 0:23:58.440 --> 0:24:02.640 beginning of this this talk that you feared that if 0:24:02.720 --> 0:24:05.880 your mum wasn't here, your dad would really suffer. Did 0:24:05.920 --> 0:24:06.359 he suffer? 0:24:06.760 --> 0:24:11.920 Oh yeah, yeah, he suffered from He suffered from the 0:24:12.000 --> 0:24:14.119 diagnosis through to a death and then beyond. 0:24:14.600 --> 0:24:18.119 And could you see changes in his behavior in it? 0:24:18.240 --> 0:24:20.320 Or was he quite again we talk about that era 0:24:20.480 --> 0:24:23.280 of just putting up that stone face, that stone wall, 0:24:23.359 --> 0:24:25.680 and yet no, I'm fine, don't worry about it, I 0:24:25.720 --> 0:24:27.240 don't want to talk about it. I'm good to go. 0:24:27.640 --> 0:24:29.400 Was he very much like that? Wasn't Were there any 0:24:29.440 --> 0:24:30.480 signs that you could see? 0:24:30.600 --> 0:24:34.000 Or he was very hard edged, you know, like very 0:24:34.160 --> 0:24:37.159 stone wall sort of. You know, I can deal with this, 0:24:39.200 --> 0:24:42.479 you know, and to be honest, and I didn't want 0:24:42.480 --> 0:24:45.879 to see it any other way. Like my dad was 0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:47.800 my hero and he was this big, strong dude, and 0:24:47.880 --> 0:24:50.120 I didn't want to That's why I wanted to take 0:24:50.119 --> 0:24:52.560 everything off him, like in terms of the funeral and stuff, 0:24:52.640 --> 0:24:55.840 and I just you know, I had him on a 0:24:55.880 --> 0:24:59.600 pedestal and I didn't want to see him break probably 0:24:59.640 --> 0:25:03.680 selfie on my behalf. But you know, as kids sort 0:25:03.720 --> 0:25:05.880 of took over there because when you're too hard. 0:25:05.960 --> 0:25:08.680 That's interesting, that is because yeah, I suppose you don't. 0:25:08.720 --> 0:25:11.399 He's your hero, he's your he's your protector, you know. 0:25:11.520 --> 0:25:13.960 You know, if something goes wrong, then he's that that 0:25:14.200 --> 0:25:16.639 that that sheet of concrete that will protect you. And 0:25:17.000 --> 0:25:19.760 you don't want to see that crumble, right, No, No, And. 0:25:21.400 --> 0:25:26.080 You know it wasn't until you know, I sort of 0:25:26.119 --> 0:25:29.000 a probably probably he and I, you know, after me 0:25:29.200 --> 0:25:34.760 leaving Cronella and then I moved into the city and 0:25:36.600 --> 0:25:38.480 I didn't see him a lot. You know, we talked 0:25:38.520 --> 0:25:40.960 a bit, and then then I came back to Cronulla 0:25:41.600 --> 0:25:47.280 and moved back with Chloe, and and Chloe was pregnant, 0:25:48.080 --> 0:25:50.440 and I remember going over and telling him and he 0:25:50.600 --> 0:25:54.800 was so excited and he was about he was just 0:25:55.000 --> 0:25:56.879 he was excited and he was he was he was 0:25:56.920 --> 0:25:59.800 going on a trip. I remember saying to Collie, like, 0:26:00.720 --> 0:26:04.080 did he seem happy about going away? She's like not really, 0:26:05.080 --> 0:26:11.000 I'm all right. So we left and yeah, I was 0:26:11.000 --> 0:26:14.960 the last time I saw him. I couldn't put my 0:26:15.040 --> 0:26:18.080 finger on it. It just wasn't him. You know. We 0:26:18.200 --> 0:26:22.280 were coming home from from from Byron and back in 0:26:22.359 --> 0:26:25.359 those days. He is eighteen years ago now she's she's 0:26:25.720 --> 0:26:27.800 we've been going in and out of service areas that 0:26:27.920 --> 0:26:32.120 you're driving from Byron Bay back to Sydney and there 0:26:32.440 --> 0:26:34.560 he called me like two in the morning when I 0:26:34.640 --> 0:26:36.560 was on the road because we drove over night and 0:26:38.080 --> 0:26:40.080 I didn't get the call. I got the message at 0:26:40.160 --> 0:26:42.560 lunchtime the next day. But he killed himself that morning. 0:26:42.800 --> 0:26:44.920 How do you find out that your dad's passed? You 0:26:44.960 --> 0:26:46.000 get a phone call from your brother. 0:26:48.320 --> 0:26:51.199 I'll tell you. My neighbor, my good neighbor, like he's 0:26:51.280 --> 0:26:53.600 one of my one of my really good friends, and 0:26:53.720 --> 0:26:58.280 he was one of Dad's really good friends. He's just 0:26:58.359 --> 0:27:01.280 banging on my door, like and I'd got home at 0:27:01.320 --> 0:27:04.520 like four five in the morning. I've literally been in 0:27:04.600 --> 0:27:06.639 bed for an hour and Chloe was up and I 0:27:06.760 --> 0:27:08.919 just hear this yelling at my front door. He's made up, 0:27:08.960 --> 0:27:11.160 he's made up. And Chloe's like, no, no, he's upstairs asleep. 0:27:11.200 --> 0:27:13.560 I can hear him he has he spoken to anyone? 0:27:13.640 --> 0:27:15.600 And I just remember him keep saying, has he spoken 0:27:15.640 --> 0:27:18.880 to anyone? Chloe come from an upstairs. She goes Downsy's 0:27:19.119 --> 0:27:21.879 Mart and down so we call him Downsy Downsy's downstairs. 0:27:22.040 --> 0:27:24.600 He really wants to speak to you. He said, don't 0:27:25.680 --> 0:27:27.720 speak to anyone on your phone. Don't don't pick up 0:27:27.760 --> 0:27:30.800 your phone. So I go downstairs and I seen him 0:27:30.800 --> 0:27:32.479 and he goes and he's spoken anyone. And I said, man, 0:27:32.600 --> 0:27:35.119 shop just got home. What's going on? He goes, you 0:27:35.200 --> 0:27:38.160 got to come with me now as the crow flies. 0:27:38.200 --> 0:27:41.200 My dad lived about sort of five hundred meters, you know, 0:27:41.400 --> 0:27:43.560 like like just he lived on the beach. I lived 0:27:43.600 --> 0:27:47.040 on the bay. And before before all this happened. And 0:27:47.080 --> 0:27:49.600 my dad, when we first moved into that house, we 0:27:49.720 --> 0:27:52.639 had a we had a party there. We're not a party. 0:27:52.720 --> 0:27:55.840 I had a few mates over and Downsy had just 0:27:55.920 --> 0:27:58.399 moved in next door to me, and I knew him 0:27:58.400 --> 0:27:59.800 and Dad were good mate. So he leaned over the 0:27:59.840 --> 0:28:01.800 b and he goes what he did, and Chloe was away. 0:28:01.800 --> 0:28:04.200 I said, we're just having a few beers. Come over, 0:28:04.320 --> 0:28:05.680 and he goes, ring, your old man, did him to 0:28:05.680 --> 0:28:07.680 come down? So I rang Dad, and Dad came down 0:28:07.760 --> 0:28:09.920 and downs and came out. We had a bit of 0:28:09.960 --> 0:28:13.600 a night just the boys, and then Dad was walking 0:28:13.720 --> 0:28:16.720 home and he goes, come out to the front. I 0:28:16.760 --> 0:28:19.840 want to speak to you. And we went out the 0:28:19.880 --> 0:28:22.560 front and I remember we're leaning it on my car 0:28:23.880 --> 0:28:28.480 and he goes, I've just had enough, and I thought 0:28:28.560 --> 0:28:35.640 he meant enough of his current relationship situation. So I'm like, well, mate, 0:28:36.400 --> 0:28:39.120 just finish it. And I like, our house was huge, 0:28:39.200 --> 0:28:43.320 so just come and live with me. And he's like, nah, nah, 0:28:43.520 --> 0:28:45.120 I don't want to do that, he does. I just 0:28:45.240 --> 0:28:47.720 I've just had a gup full. Mate. I think I 0:28:47.800 --> 0:28:53.400 think I'm done, And I guess is weirdly computer like 0:28:53.480 --> 0:28:55.360 we'd had a few beers and I'm just trying to 0:28:55.400 --> 0:28:58.600 think you're done, You're done with what you know, And 0:28:58.680 --> 0:29:01.360 that's when I sort of started to what is he 0:29:01.440 --> 0:29:04.280 done with this woman? Or is he you know? And 0:29:05.480 --> 0:29:07.880 so I gave him a heart and mate, you know 0:29:08.920 --> 0:29:11.440 I'm here, you know, like just he can come to 0:29:11.720 --> 0:29:15.560 me anytime you think about like this right, Like but 0:29:15.720 --> 0:29:19.320 this is a guy who was like the greatest Sharks 0:29:19.360 --> 0:29:21.840 player of all time, he was the CEO of the club. 0:29:23.320 --> 0:29:27.200 Like who does he go and talk to you know 0:29:27.240 --> 0:29:27.600 what I mean? 0:29:27.760 --> 0:29:31.200 Like fucking hell, just send shivers down my spine there, mate, 0:29:31.520 --> 0:29:32.640 You're exactly right. 0:29:32.800 --> 0:29:35.120 Wow, he's trying to talk to me and I didn't know, 0:29:35.400 --> 0:29:38.960 like this is before mental health was the trend. Not 0:29:39.120 --> 0:29:42.520 the trend, but the thing. Yeah. I think he was 0:29:42.560 --> 0:29:45.360 sort of like quite a catalyst towards that, you know, 0:29:45.560 --> 0:29:48.320 like everyone's like, holy shit, you know, like this is 0:29:48.400 --> 0:29:53.080 a CEO of his beloved club. He's got kids, he's 0:29:53.120 --> 0:29:54.840 got big grandkids. 0:29:54.280 --> 0:29:57.080 He's got a lot to live for, you know, and yeah, 0:29:57.080 --> 0:29:58.080 who does he talk to you? 0:29:58.280 --> 0:30:02.360 Yeah, so that warning went down. He's banging on my 0:30:02.480 --> 0:30:05.240 door and he goes, if he talked to anyone that 0:30:05.560 --> 0:30:07.680 I sort of get in his car and I sort 0:30:07.680 --> 0:30:11.320 of knew, oh, this is this is not good, Like 0:30:11.600 --> 0:30:13.920 it's I said, what's happening? He goes, mate, I was 0:30:14.000 --> 0:30:16.920 walking on the esplanade this morning, and he goes and 0:30:17.040 --> 0:30:19.280 there was a lot of people in Add's apartment and 0:30:19.400 --> 0:30:21.200 I've walked up there to find out what's going on, 0:30:22.040 --> 0:30:23.200 and he goes, I don't know how to tell you. 0:30:23.320 --> 0:30:27.040 Maybe your dad's gone, you know. So I got there 0:30:27.080 --> 0:30:28.960 and there was like a cast of thousands around this 0:30:29.040 --> 0:30:31.040 apartment at this time, because word around corner. And that's 0:30:31.080 --> 0:30:33.240 why he was saying, that's Matt talked twenty one. It's 0:30:33.280 --> 0:30:35.880 Matt talked to anyone and I got up there and 0:30:35.960 --> 0:30:39.479 there was like two hundred people, like as soon as 0:30:39.520 --> 0:30:41.880 anyone had walked past the like his apartment on the 0:30:42.000 --> 0:30:44.880 ESPNAT something about going, Steve Rodgers has just died. He's 0:30:45.120 --> 0:30:47.400 he's in the stairwell, and then they wander up and 0:30:47.480 --> 0:30:51.760 I just created this this crowd of people. I get 0:30:51.800 --> 0:30:53.400 there as the police get there and they go in 0:30:53.480 --> 0:30:58.840 and sort of surveyed the situation, and yeah, it just 0:30:58.960 --> 0:31:03.440 became as zoo. Anyway, I just asked me to, you know, 0:31:03.520 --> 0:31:07.240 do I want to identify the body. So I just 0:31:07.320 --> 0:31:09.800 went in there and just sat with him for a 0:31:09.840 --> 0:31:13.560 couple of hours just to talk to him and asked 0:31:13.600 --> 0:31:21.120 him what what did he do it for? And yeah, 0:31:21.600 --> 0:31:27.360 didn't answer obviously, it was it was. It was tough, 0:31:27.560 --> 0:31:29.080 you know, I came out, It was even there was 0:31:29.080 --> 0:31:31.640 probably a thousand people outside the apartment block now and 0:31:32.360 --> 0:31:33.800 just people who love my dad. 0:31:34.320 --> 0:31:36.920 Were you asking the questions that that you knew you 0:31:37.080 --> 0:31:37.880 couldn't ask? 0:31:38.360 --> 0:31:42.040 You know, wait, and you know, why why didn't why 0:31:42.040 --> 0:31:44.800 didn't he tell me he was proud? Why didn't you ask? 0:31:44.880 --> 0:31:46.560 Why didn't you tell me he loved me? Why? You know? 0:31:46.680 --> 0:31:49.200 All those things? And I just laid on him to 0:31:49.280 --> 0:31:53.479 be honest, and hugged him. And then a funny thing 0:31:53.680 --> 0:31:57.240 that came out of the morning. It was he had 0:31:57.280 --> 0:32:01.840 a watch on that that I gave him, but I 0:32:01.880 --> 0:32:04.520 didn't give him. He wanted it. I said, mate, watch 0:32:04.600 --> 0:32:06.720 cost me fifte hundred bucks. Yes, I'll give you five 0:32:06.800 --> 0:32:09.080 hundred for it. I said, all right, So I gave 0:32:09.120 --> 0:32:11.520 it to it and he never fregking paid me, and 0:32:11.600 --> 0:32:18.320 he had it on. I need to get back. I've 0:32:18.320 --> 0:32:20.520 still got the watch. I've still got it. I got 0:32:20.560 --> 0:32:23.560 his name and he's things in grave on the bottom. 0:32:24.560 --> 0:32:27.880 So yeah, it was a brooder warning. 0:32:29.240 --> 0:32:30.560 And how old were you, Matt? 0:32:31.440 --> 0:32:35.520 I was Jesus it was. I was thirty. I was thirty. 0:32:35.600 --> 0:32:38.440 He was fifty one. He was not quite fifty one. 0:32:39.120 --> 0:32:44.880 He just turned fifty on you. Yeah, it was. It 0:32:45.000 --> 0:32:47.160 was tough, like to'd be fifty years old, man, Like 0:32:47.280 --> 0:32:49.959 I just like I'm forty eight, I'm forty nine. I'm 0:32:50.040 --> 0:32:53.080 closer to forty nine and fifty now. I think, Man, 0:32:53.160 --> 0:32:55.120 my mom passed away at forty six and my dad 0:32:55.200 --> 0:32:58.760 at fifty. Man, I feel like my life just started. 0:32:59.840 --> 0:33:02.080 I felt there was so much good stuff to happen, 0:33:02.720 --> 0:33:04.760 you know, I look at my kids and my grandkids, 0:33:04.880 --> 0:33:07.040 and you know, the life you've got ahead of us 0:33:07.080 --> 0:33:10.160 and my wife, and I just I felt the luckiest 0:33:10.160 --> 0:33:15.120 guy ever, you know, honestly, just I just can't fathom it, 0:33:15.600 --> 0:33:19.800 you know. But you know that like my old man, like, 0:33:20.320 --> 0:33:21.800 you know, if you wanted to beat Cranula in the 0:33:21.840 --> 0:33:25.520 seventies and eighties, you take out Steve Rodgers and it 0:33:25.640 --> 0:33:32.040 was almost legal. So they talk about CTE man like, 0:33:33.040 --> 0:33:35.400 you know, when he had his jaw absolutely smashed from 0:33:35.440 --> 0:33:37.000 one side of his face with his other like, and 0:33:37.120 --> 0:33:42.040 it was what ended his career in Australia. Basically there 0:33:42.080 --> 0:33:46.520 wasn't even a penalty given, you know, like it's just like, 0:33:46.960 --> 0:33:49.440 what the hell he's just left laying on the ground. 0:33:49.560 --> 0:33:52.160 I'm sitting there as like a nine years old on 0:33:52.240 --> 0:33:53.920 the ball boy. I'm watching my dad just walk off 0:33:53.920 --> 0:33:58.200 the field his jaw hanging on his chest basically and 0:33:58.280 --> 0:34:00.280 no penalty, and I'm just thinking, wow, I mean ends. 0:34:01.120 --> 0:34:02.440 But I looked at my old man. I thought he 0:34:02.560 --> 0:34:06.400 was the toughest bastard in the world in those days. Mate. 0:34:06.440 --> 0:34:08.480 I just sat and you know, I. 0:34:08.520 --> 0:34:11.520 Remember creeping in the dressing room may like it was 0:34:11.520 --> 0:34:15.239 a belmore Oval and my mom and my mom and 0:34:15.280 --> 0:34:19.600 my brother were sitting in the stand and halftime happens, 0:34:19.640 --> 0:34:22.640 and then the head of the ball boy that he 0:34:22.760 --> 0:34:25.600 knew how emotional I was about this whole thing, he goes, 0:34:25.640 --> 0:34:27.239 you don't you don't have to go out there for 0:34:27.320 --> 0:34:29.320 the second half or get other ones to other boys, 0:34:29.840 --> 0:34:32.160 and so everybody cleared out, and it was just my 0:34:32.280 --> 0:34:35.000 dad and the doctor in the dressing room, and I 0:34:35.160 --> 0:34:36.359 was out in the front, and he goes, you don't 0:34:36.360 --> 0:34:37.520 have to go out. So I wanted to go into 0:34:37.520 --> 0:34:38.920 the dress room to see my dad because the boar 0:34:38.960 --> 0:34:41.440 boys went out in the dress room at halftime. So 0:34:41.480 --> 0:34:44.160 everyone goes out, and you could hear like the crowd 0:34:44.320 --> 0:34:46.080 roaring in the stand above you, like it was this 0:34:46.160 --> 0:34:48.279 whole concrete tand you could hear the murmur of the crowd, 0:34:48.280 --> 0:34:49.960 and it was like it was like a horror movie. 0:34:50.000 --> 0:34:53.920 I'm sort of creeping down this like concrete hallway to 0:34:54.040 --> 0:34:55.600 try to get in there to see how bad my 0:34:55.719 --> 0:34:59.800 dad is. When I opened the door and there was 0:34:59.880 --> 0:35:03.239 just him. There was just him sitting on like a 0:35:03.480 --> 0:35:07.520 like a strupping table with and leaning up against a 0:35:07.680 --> 0:35:11.719 metal a concrete pylon, and a bandage around his head, 0:35:11.800 --> 0:35:16.080 holding his jawer, and I'm like and and he sees me, 0:35:16.280 --> 0:35:17.959 you know, like he sees me sick my head around 0:35:17.960 --> 0:35:19.800 the corner like not no what to do, and he 0:35:19.800 --> 0:35:22.000 sort of calls me over, you know, and and he 0:35:22.040 --> 0:35:23.880 couldn't talk, so he just sort of, you know, he 0:35:24.000 --> 0:35:25.920 taps the bench for me to jump up on the 0:35:25.960 --> 0:35:30.680 bench nextly, and he just he just grabbed me and 0:35:30.800 --> 0:35:37.040 hugged me. So he was just really worried about how 0:35:37.360 --> 0:35:40.320 how I was. He didn't care about how he was. 0:35:41.640 --> 0:35:44.600 And you know those moments, like my mom and dad 0:35:44.640 --> 0:35:47.480 both did that in times when they were in a 0:35:47.640 --> 0:35:50.480 real bad way. You know. It just there was a 0:35:50.520 --> 0:35:52.640 lot of live in our family that just came out 0:35:52.680 --> 0:35:53.719 in funny ways. You know. 0:35:54.200 --> 0:35:57.320 Yeah, you're there comfort. You find comfort in your children. 0:35:57.400 --> 0:36:00.000 You find a sense of peace that you can't expec 0:36:00.040 --> 0:36:02.759 playing in your children. And whether it's just the moment 0:36:02.840 --> 0:36:05.440 of them being there, a moment of just setting eyes 0:36:05.480 --> 0:36:08.040 on them, a moment of just them being at your side. 0:36:08.160 --> 0:36:11.160 That's that's all we need, is parents. But you know, 0:36:11.239 --> 0:36:12.920 when you look back on things and you know, and 0:36:12.960 --> 0:36:15.280 your dad as he was and you now being a parent, 0:36:15.719 --> 0:36:19.319 you realize that the magnitude and the power of those 0:36:19.400 --> 0:36:20.759 moments and how important they are. 0:36:21.440 --> 0:36:24.680 Yeah, and yeah, it's so right. I mean, I love 0:36:24.760 --> 0:36:27.760 it when my kids, when my kids is my oldest, 0:36:27.840 --> 0:36:30.960 my oldest kids are twenty eight and twenty five, and 0:36:31.160 --> 0:36:35.040 my my younger kids are eighteen and seventeen, So eighteen seventeen, 0:36:35.080 --> 0:36:36.640 it's almost like they're too cool to hang out with 0:36:36.680 --> 0:36:40.800 you that they're not. You know, they're great, you know. 0:36:41.480 --> 0:36:43.759 And my older kids, you know, I love saying, you know, 0:36:44.280 --> 0:36:47.120 my oldest boy, he's got his own stuff going on. 0:36:47.239 --> 0:36:49.520 You know, he's a busy guy and works hard and 0:36:49.760 --> 0:36:51.960 got a family and I don't want to see you know, 0:36:52.080 --> 0:36:54.279 it's just the best. It's the best. And same with 0:36:54.400 --> 0:36:57.520 my daughter, you know that got their own lives and kids, 0:36:57.640 --> 0:37:00.360 and you know that is pretty special. Or when you 0:37:00.400 --> 0:37:02.480 see him and you have them all together, it's it's 0:37:02.719 --> 0:37:05.400 at a moment that I just cherished. But now losing 0:37:05.640 --> 0:37:09.160 losing dad that that way. Yeah, I don't we should 0:37:09.200 --> 0:37:11.120 upon anyone, you know, at that young, at such a 0:37:11.200 --> 0:37:13.520 young age, it's it's tough. 0:37:18.560 --> 0:37:26.680 H Matt. When your father passed away, he was still playing, right, Yeah, 0:37:27.719 --> 0:37:28.160 how was that? 0:37:29.160 --> 0:37:34.560 Uh? Well, you know, Ben, Ben that I was chasing him. 0:37:34.840 --> 0:37:36.440 You know when I say chasing him, I wanted to 0:37:36.480 --> 0:37:38.560 be him, you know, that was my life goal. I 0:37:38.640 --> 0:37:41.520 wanted to be Steve Rodgers sent me into a bit 0:37:41.560 --> 0:37:43.879 of a tailspin, to be honest. So I was like, well, 0:37:43.960 --> 0:37:46.360 do I really want to be Steve Rodgers? Do you know? 0:37:46.719 --> 0:37:51.640 Do I want to end up there? So I I 0:37:51.840 --> 0:37:54.800 just I didn't want to play anymore. So I basically 0:37:56.080 --> 0:37:59.440 told the war atas at the times, look, I don't 0:37:59.440 --> 0:38:02.040 know when I was back, I don't know if I'll 0:38:02.080 --> 0:38:07.000 be back. And they were great, you know, Dave Gibson 0:38:07.400 --> 0:38:10.560 team manager, and you and McKenzie was our coach at 0:38:10.600 --> 0:38:14.880 the time. I like, mate, you just come back whenever 0:38:14.960 --> 0:38:18.279 you feel like you can, and we'll offer you all 0:38:18.320 --> 0:38:21.240 the support you need. Doctor by the name of Sharon 0:38:21.280 --> 0:38:24.080 fla Hive, who was one of the greatest humans on 0:38:24.160 --> 0:38:27.840 the planet, would come and just spend time with me, 0:38:28.200 --> 0:38:29.799 you know, if she was the doctor of the Warrior 0:38:29.880 --> 0:38:34.760 Cars the Wallabies, and she just sit on my balcony 0:38:34.840 --> 0:38:36.680 and just talked to me, you know, and asked me 0:38:36.760 --> 0:38:39.040 how I was going, and just making sure I was okay. 0:38:41.920 --> 0:38:44.279 I reverted to putting anything into my body that would 0:38:44.280 --> 0:38:48.440 make me feel good and forget life. And I was 0:38:48.520 --> 0:38:51.879 not in a good way at all. And she came 0:38:51.960 --> 0:38:54.400 to me and basically got to the point where she 0:38:54.520 --> 0:38:57.120 just got She just confronted me about it. She's like, 0:38:58.520 --> 0:39:02.480 what are you doing? You are ruining your life and 0:39:02.600 --> 0:39:04.080 you reckon your old man is going to be proud 0:39:04.120 --> 0:39:08.279 of this. And I'm like, yeah, it's a good point 0:39:10.520 --> 0:39:14.200 because you know, without someone like that in your life. 0:39:14.320 --> 0:39:16.360 And my wife didn't she didn't want to push me, 0:39:17.040 --> 0:39:18.759 you know, like because I was not in a good 0:39:18.800 --> 0:39:22.320 space without someone like that in your life. If you 0:39:22.440 --> 0:39:24.960 live in a world like like I did, where you're 0:39:25.040 --> 0:39:27.640 a bit of a football star, you have a proofile. 0:39:27.840 --> 0:39:29.440 There's not too many people in your life who are 0:39:29.480 --> 0:39:32.160 going to tell you that that they're in your life, 0:39:33.080 --> 0:39:38.600 so they need to be pretty real, you know. But yeah, 0:39:38.680 --> 0:39:42.640 she just hammered me and made me realize. She goes 0:39:43.320 --> 0:39:46.120 back up training on Monday. She is I'm not going 0:39:46.160 --> 0:39:48.120 to take from the answer. This is the place that 0:39:48.239 --> 0:39:50.040 makes you happy. These are your friends who want to 0:39:50.040 --> 0:39:53.000 support you. This is so I got the training and 0:39:53.080 --> 0:39:57.279 I just walked off halfway through it, and I just 0:39:57.320 --> 0:40:01.200 didn't want to be there. I'll I was unfit and 0:40:01.400 --> 0:40:04.960 it's not feeling it for a war chased after me, 0:40:05.560 --> 0:40:08.879 my teammate gave me a hug, made I'm just here, 0:40:09.000 --> 0:40:13.759 just not trying to not trying to force into anything, mate, 0:40:13.800 --> 0:40:16.719 but we love you, and he said we need you. 0:40:17.480 --> 0:40:20.320 So he said, when you're ready, we'll have you, you know. 0:40:20.520 --> 0:40:23.279 And another week went by and I went back and 0:40:23.719 --> 0:40:26.680 got through a whole session and then worked on sort 0:40:26.719 --> 0:40:30.879 of my fitness and slowly moved my way back into 0:40:31.000 --> 0:40:34.680 the team. And I'll never forget the first game coming back, 0:40:34.960 --> 0:40:38.120 you know. It was at the Sydney Football Stadium and 0:40:38.480 --> 0:40:42.080 I think we're playing the Sharks maybe from South Africa. 0:40:42.160 --> 0:40:44.399 It would have been about thirty five forty thousand people. 0:40:44.440 --> 0:40:46.200 They're like it was back in the days when people 0:40:46.239 --> 0:40:49.600 actually attended rugby union matches in Australia, which was good 0:40:51.040 --> 0:40:55.200 rug reunion matches I talk of. And I started on 0:40:55.280 --> 0:41:01.200 the bench and about twenty five minutes into the first half, 0:41:01.760 --> 0:41:05.400 I you know, got asked to go on and a 0:41:05.600 --> 0:41:08.040 man they announced me coming on the field, and the 0:41:08.120 --> 0:41:11.640 way that the crowd cheered just made me feel like 0:41:11.719 --> 0:41:14.640 I was in the right place. You know, it was 0:41:14.680 --> 0:41:18.279 a different cheer. It just lasted longer than what a 0:41:18.320 --> 0:41:22.680 normal cheer would. And then my first touch of the ball, 0:41:22.760 --> 0:41:24.799 I made this mad break and then that just went 0:41:24.880 --> 0:41:29.800 bananas again and before he goes you home, mate, and 0:41:29.880 --> 0:41:32.640 I'm like, yeah, yeah, that just got me going again. 0:41:32.719 --> 0:41:35.480 And yeah, I just had a good back end of 0:41:35.520 --> 0:41:38.759 my career. And I did you know after that year, 0:41:41.040 --> 0:41:44.040 but I just felt like I just didn't want to 0:41:44.040 --> 0:41:47.200 be away from my family anymore, and Rugby was just 0:41:47.320 --> 0:41:50.120 really taking me away from my family. You know. I 0:41:50.200 --> 0:41:53.080 spoke to my close mates at the Warrior Tars and said, 0:41:53.120 --> 0:41:54.719 you know, look, I just don't think I can do 0:41:54.840 --> 0:41:58.680 this anymore. I'm going to I'm going to retire. Yeah. 0:41:58.760 --> 0:42:00.839 They were like, yeah, it made it where you're at, 0:42:00.920 --> 0:42:04.840 that's where you're at, and you know, just out of 0:42:04.880 --> 0:42:06.239 the blue or made in mind. Said why don't you 0:42:06.239 --> 0:42:09.200 go and have a meeting with this guy such and such. 0:42:09.239 --> 0:42:11.040 He is the owner of the Gold Coast Titans. And 0:42:11.840 --> 0:42:14.080 I wanted to move. I really wanted to move out 0:42:14.120 --> 0:42:15.839 of Cronella. I was living in Cronulla and I wanted 0:42:15.880 --> 0:42:17.680 to get back to Queensland, where I felt like home 0:42:17.880 --> 0:42:22.840 was and he goes, don't retire. You're too young to retire. 0:42:22.960 --> 0:42:26.080 He ThReD, go and speak to you, the CEO, and 0:42:26.600 --> 0:42:28.719 see if you can put a bill together for you 0:42:28.840 --> 0:42:30.560 to get your back up the resume. I don't want 0:42:30.600 --> 0:42:32.680 to play. It's not just that I want to move. 0:42:32.719 --> 0:42:36.520 I don't want to play anymore. I came back. I finished, 0:42:37.120 --> 0:42:40.040 I'm good, you know. And and he's a good, really 0:42:40.080 --> 0:42:41.920 good friend of mine, this guy, and I really respect him. 0:42:41.920 --> 0:42:43.120 He said, just how to respect for me? Can you 0:42:43.200 --> 0:42:46.960 just go and have a meeting. I'm like, yeah, so 0:42:47.000 --> 0:42:49.279 I won had a meeting, and I can. I tell 0:42:49.280 --> 0:42:53.880 you the best way to go into a negotiation is 0:42:54.000 --> 0:42:58.840 not caring I And he's like, I'll pay you this 0:42:59.000 --> 0:43:03.600 if you come presented a great you know pitch, you know, 0:43:03.680 --> 0:43:05.600 like and I love the Gold Coast. And it was 0:43:05.760 --> 0:43:09.120 just like wow, you know, like, yeah, it sounds awesome. 0:43:09.160 --> 0:43:12.160 And he goes and he writes, and he goes, i'll 0:43:12.160 --> 0:43:14.440 pay you this, and side it over the table. And 0:43:14.520 --> 0:43:17.160 I looked at it. I'm like, mate, if you pay 0:43:17.239 --> 0:43:21.040 me double, i'll consider it. And he goes, well, if 0:43:21.080 --> 0:43:23.319 I pay you double, what you sign a letter of intent? 0:43:23.440 --> 0:43:34.200 Now I'll really call the crazy thing was is my wife, 0:43:34.320 --> 0:43:38.360 you know, like her dad and stepdad are both barristers, 0:43:38.960 --> 0:43:41.840 and she's like, don't you sign anything in there, And 0:43:41.840 --> 0:43:43.239 I'm like, I'm not going to sign it. I don't 0:43:43.440 --> 0:43:46.680 want to play you anyway. I rang and I said, oh, 0:43:47.120 --> 0:43:48.920 I just so you know we're a movement of the 0:43:48.960 --> 0:43:53.359 Gold Coast. He said, you wouldn't sign anything. I said, 0:43:53.640 --> 0:43:57.880 there's a lot of reasons, and our all dogs. I signed. Anyway, 0:43:58.080 --> 0:44:00.400 I came back to the Times. I actually ended up 0:44:00.400 --> 0:44:02.680 getting released and I came here yere earlier, so I actually, 0:44:03.200 --> 0:44:05.359 although I did get paid well to come to the Time, 0:44:05.680 --> 0:44:07.759 I took a huge pay cup to come and play 0:44:07.800 --> 0:44:10.200 the first year I played here. But it was the 0:44:10.239 --> 0:44:13.359 best move for me mentally, Like just everywhere I went 0:44:13.400 --> 0:44:17.400 with Cornella, it was just dad, Dad, dad and everybody 0:44:17.440 --> 0:44:21.480 he knew. My dad like Cornella is very insula, Like 0:44:21.640 --> 0:44:23.640 it's like a little fishbowl and if you live there, 0:44:23.680 --> 0:44:26.719 and if you're a Rogers or you're Steve Rogers Matt Road, 0:44:27.239 --> 0:44:28.360 you cannot escape it. 0:44:28.600 --> 0:44:30.400 And he has sworded up. 0:44:30.480 --> 0:44:32.400 Yeah. Yeah, it just got too much for me. So 0:44:32.840 --> 0:44:35.920 I moved back to the Gold Coast. And man, I'll 0:44:35.960 --> 0:44:38.240 tell you coming back here and playing for the Titans. 0:44:38.280 --> 0:44:40.800 It was just it was such a it was like 0:44:41.080 --> 0:44:42.759 it was like a new lease of life, you know, 0:44:42.960 --> 0:44:47.400 and being able to raise my kids up here. You know, 0:44:47.440 --> 0:44:49.000 I grew up on the Gold Coast. I came here 0:44:49.040 --> 0:44:51.520 as a young boy, and I just my mum was 0:44:51.520 --> 0:44:53.640 a born and bred Gold Coast girl. So she was 0:44:53.680 --> 0:44:55.839 one of thirteen kids, right, So I've got about four 0:44:55.920 --> 0:44:58.399 thousand cousins and they've got cousins of the Gold Coast. 0:44:58.480 --> 0:45:01.360 So it was just it was the best move for 0:45:01.520 --> 0:45:05.360 me mentally. And you know, my wife, although for the 0:45:05.440 --> 0:45:08.200 first she absolutely hated it. She's an Eastern Suburbs girl, 0:45:08.280 --> 0:45:11.680 so she was at that time made the number one 0:45:11.760 --> 0:45:14.279 shop at Pacific Fair. Was I think Target, She's like, 0:45:14.360 --> 0:45:17.919 what have you done to me? She was the lady 0:45:17.960 --> 0:45:23.360 who's you know what runways, runways in Paris and Milan 0:45:23.600 --> 0:45:27.440 and you know, the biggest names in modeling. And she's like, Target, 0:45:27.520 --> 0:45:31.440 that's it. And I'm like, oh, yeah, get used to it. 0:45:34.800 --> 0:45:37.280 She loves it. She's not she's certainly not a snob, 0:45:37.320 --> 0:45:40.759 but she she was struggling to find her place in 0:45:40.840 --> 0:45:42.400 those first first view. 0:45:42.760 --> 0:45:47.640 Awesome mate, but Matt it's been absolutely fascinating me. Thank 0:45:47.680 --> 0:45:50.160 you for sharing your story with us. Car To be 0:45:50.200 --> 0:45:52.200 able to play at the level that you play that 0:45:52.360 --> 0:45:56.600 and to be so consistent and smash your your your 0:45:56.640 --> 0:45:58.920 footy career as you did with everything that was going on, 0:45:59.120 --> 0:46:02.800 that just shows the resilience and the head game that 0:46:02.920 --> 0:46:05.279 you have. Really appreciate you coming on. Thank you for 0:46:05.360 --> 0:46:08.680 your time, legend and listen, Matt, thank you so much. 0:46:08.800 --> 0:46:12.080 Keep pushing on, mate, keep staying strong. And last last 0:46:12.200 --> 0:46:14.080 question before we go, we have to be quick, but 0:46:14.840 --> 0:46:19.480 as you wanted to be your father, is there any 0:46:19.520 --> 0:46:22.720 of your sons that want to be Matt Rogers? 0:46:23.920 --> 0:46:27.560 Well, I think my oldest son tried, but he did 0:46:27.880 --> 0:46:29.960 maybe you want to be a footballer, but realized that, 0:46:30.120 --> 0:46:32.919 you know, it probably wasn't for him. But my young 0:46:33.120 --> 0:46:35.880 my youngest son, who's Ailien, he's autistic, So Mat, he 0:46:36.000 --> 0:46:39.440 has taught me a world of things that got me 0:46:39.560 --> 0:46:41.640 involved in things that I would never have been involved 0:46:41.680 --> 0:46:44.439 in prior. So I'm so grateful for the lessons he's 0:46:44.480 --> 0:46:46.040 taught me, rather than the lesson teacher. 0:46:46.440 --> 0:46:49.160 Brilliant mate. Love that what a way to finish Matt, 0:46:49.200 --> 0:46:51.160 You're gentleman. Thank you ever so much. 0:46:51.239 --> 0:46:52.080 Mate's there. 0:46:53.760 --> 0:46:57.799 Matt's memoir A Father's Son is out now. I link 0:46:57.840 --> 0:47:01.680 the details in the show notes. I appreciate you taking 0:47:01.719 --> 0:47:06.040 the time to listen to Headgame. If you enjoyed this episode, 0:47:06.320 --> 0:47:09.680 please feel free to share it with a friend. I'm 0:47:09.680 --> 0:47:12.640 at Middleton. See you again next time.