WEBVTT - #2034 Beautifully Imperfect - Dr. Sam Casey 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:03.000 I'll get a team. It's a You Project. What else 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:04.520 would it be. I probably don't need to say that. 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:06.640 I probably just need to start talking. I guess by 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:09.560 now two thousand and something episodes in, but fuck it. 0:00:09.680 --> 0:00:11.559 Maybe there's a few new people who go, what is this? 0:00:11.600 --> 0:00:13.400 Who is this? Who is that? Man? What am I 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:16.959 listening to? That's for you, that's for you newbies, of course. 0:00:16.960 --> 0:00:18.919 In the You Project, is the name is show? Craig 0:00:19.560 --> 0:00:21.919 is my name. I'm the host. We've been doing this 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:24.279 for about eight years and DTR Sam Casey joins me 0:00:24.320 --> 0:00:28.440 on a regular basis from the thriving metropolis of Karatha, 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:34.080 is it? That's right, Caratha up on the kind of 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:38.720 northern confines of Western Australia, up there with all the 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:41.920 big trucks and dirt and dust and industry and heat 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:47.720 and mayhem. What is it that attracts you to that place? Why? 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:49.160 Why are you there? 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:50.200 Good question? 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:53.120 You know, it's such a good mix of country and 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:55.960 city life. I feel like Kartha is you know, you 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:58.360 could look over and it looks like a city and 0:00:58.400 --> 0:01:00.720 it's got you know, you got your shopping centers in 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:03.920 your cafes, and it's just it's so nice and parts 0:01:03.960 --> 0:01:06.280 and greenery, and then you could literally just turn the 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:08.680 other side and you've got the mountains and the red 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:10.800 dead and the hiking and it's so it's just such 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:12.839 a good mix of country and city life, I think. 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:16.240 And how did you? I mean, did you grow up there? 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:19.080 Did you move there for work? Did something? Did you 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:22.640 move there for a relationship or you know, I don't 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:25.640 want to open in your doors, I shouldn't, but how 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:28.080 did you? How did you end up there? Yeah? 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:32.240 No, so my ex husband was in mining, so we 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:34.880 originally moved up to another little town called Para Badoo, 0:01:34.920 --> 0:01:36.120 which is also in the Pilbra. 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:38.440 It's a small mining town. And then we had moved 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:40.040 from Parado to Karasa. 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.720 So yeah, Crassa is definitely a bit more city life, 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:45.880 but I've fallen in love with it and I absolutely 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:49.440 loved the country, the country at all. 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:55.160 Like as we record, it's October thirty one. Yeah, so 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:59.720 we're heading into summer. What is like what is the 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:03.920 temperature range? Typically not not today, but in general terms, 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:06.920 like what's the So in Melbourne this morning it was 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:09.480 actually mild, but yesterday morning in Melbourne I think it 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:13.000 was five right, And we're stumbling into it, like it 0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:16.040 was five degrees Well where I was, it was five 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:19.600 in Hampton, Like, what's the kind of range there temperature wise? 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:22.560 Oh, we always hover around like the thirties and the forties. 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:26.519 So it's yeah, it's really intense. And you get like 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:27.960 a few months in the middle of the year where 0:02:27.960 --> 0:02:30.160 it's like super cold, but most of the time it's 0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:34.480 hot as like even now it's quite it's getting quite uncomfortable. 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:36.400 I mean, I'm used to it, but yeah, for. 0:02:36.320 --> 0:02:38.720 A lot of people, they're like, I cannot survive a summer, 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:41.160 and I'm like, we haven't actually reached the summer yet, 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:42.800 Like it's only Altoba. 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:45.079 It's only going to get hotter now. 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:49.919 For my listeners, my listeners from Canada and from New 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:54.120 York and from Melbourne and from Hobart, they want to know, 0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:57.400 when you say it's super cold, what are you talking about. 0:02:58.680 --> 0:03:00.960 I would have my cardigan on when it's like the 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:02.880 mid twenties. I can't deal. 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:09.200 Mid twenties. Now, mid twenties. Everyone who works to Celsius 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:13.880 knows what that means. Everyone else in fahrenheit mid twenties. 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:18.360 I think Ballpark is mid to high seventies. Fahrenheit. That 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:22.519 is just nothing in the ballpark of cold. Sam. It's 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:25.520 not even a bit cold. It's nothing like cold. 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:29.919 Oh I'd be shivering at that point, so you would be. 0:03:29.960 --> 0:03:35.520 No good in Melbourne. No. Wow, So you've fully adapted. 0:03:35.920 --> 0:03:36.200 I have. 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:38.840 It's crazy how quickly your body adapts. I know. 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:40.720 It's even when I just go down to bath, I'm like, 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:42.600 it is freezing. Does anyone not see this? 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:44.840 And everyone's like, what is your problem? 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:45.600 Wow? 0:03:45.840 --> 0:03:46.280 All right? 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:50.920 So doctor Sam joins us every month or two. Just 0:03:51.000 --> 0:03:54.400 psychologists working mainly in the space of kids and play 0:03:54.560 --> 0:04:00.520 and educating parents around play therapy and other things, and 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:05.200 helping helping families and helping individuals. Correct me if I 0:04:05.240 --> 0:04:07.280 get any of this wrong. But we just get together 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:10.160 and have a general stuff around life and performance and 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:12.960 thinking and psychology and human behavior. It doesn't have to 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:17.159 be specific to kids. But you said to me earlier, Well, 0:04:17.200 --> 0:04:20.320 we didn't chat, we messaged, But you said to me 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:23.760 on a message. I like a post that you put 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:26.720 up the other day. If you don't follow me on Instagram, 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:28.640 follow me if you would, Craig Anthony Harper. But I 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:31.960 put up a thing on Insta and I'm going to 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:34.160 read it, and you said you wanted to chat about 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:35.320 it because it resonated. 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:35.560 Why. 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:37.280 I don't know if that's the word resonated. 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:37.480 What. 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:40.920 Anyway, let's read it because I probably don't want to 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:42.479 make you. I don't want to throw you under the 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:45.640 swearing bus and make you read it. So the title 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:48.280 is a bit fucked a lot human. Of course you're 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:50.760 a bit fucked in the head. Of Course you overthink. 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:54.680 Of course you experience self doubt, imposter syndrome, insecurity, fear 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:58.280 of rejection. Yet none of this can take away your 0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:02.119 potential to do amazing thing things, create amazing outcomes, rise 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:06.680 above your limitations, succeed despite your innate human bullshit, and 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:11.800 build a life that's meaningful, fulfilling, and beautifully imperfect, just 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:16.400 like you. Yeah, that's for me. That's kind of the 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:21.080 intersection of encouragement and being head over the hit over 0:05:21.120 --> 0:05:23.760 the head with like a stick or something. It's like, 0:05:23.800 --> 0:05:25.960 I'm trying to be positive and I'm trying to encourage 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:29.359 and support people, and I'm trying to open the door 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:34.440 on their understanding of their own potential and possibilities. Why 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:36.680 did you like that? What did that? What resonated? 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:37.520 Yeah? 0:05:37.560 --> 0:05:38.080 I see this. 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:39.960 It just come up so much, you know, as the 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:42.800 therapist right with clients, and I gues see them belief 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:43.280 for myself. 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:46.839 Right, this is just a humanity kind of issue here. 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:49.159 But when you said they're about trying to be positive, 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:50.880 I think a lot of the times people kind of 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:53.360 see it as you know, let's just get over all 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:55.839 these limitations and let's get over these insecurities and let's 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:57.480 get over these kind of battles and then we can 0:05:57.520 --> 0:05:59.720 go do the amazing thing. And I feel like with 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:01.960 your it was way more real. It was like, Nope, 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:04.880 these things exist because we're human, and they will probably 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:07.279 forever exist in some kind of capacity. But it does 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:09.760 not need to stop us from going out and doing 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:12.479 the thing right, doing the things that will help build 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:15.240 us that meaningful life, doing the things that light us up. 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:18.120 We can overcome all that, we can still reach potential. 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:21.000 So I think quite often we think I'll just wait 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:23.760 until i'll do this work and then I'll do that, 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:26.080 or let me just get my stuff sorted first, let 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:28.360 me organize my house, let me go to therapy first, 0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:30.000 and then I'll go do the thing, and we just 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:33.240 don't realize that that stuff's never done. It is just 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:36.360 never completed. The inner work is never completed, the outside 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:39.039 chaost is never completed. We are constantly going to have 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:41.920 Once you kind of get to one, overcome one level, 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:42.839 you're already hitting. 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:44.599 A next level, right, So we're always going to be 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:45.480 chipping away at this. 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:48.679 But despite all that, if we can kind of get 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.240 I guess in our heads right that we don't need 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:53.640 to solve the issue, We just need to like really 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:56.560 learn how to create a meaningful life alongside the chaos, 0:06:56.600 --> 0:06:58.359 it can just be so much more fulfilling. 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:03.360 Yeah, imagine if you and I waited until we had 0:07:03.440 --> 0:07:07.479 all of our shit together, no problems, no issues, his 0:07:07.680 --> 0:07:11.960 perfect Kragan, perfect Sam, and now they're going to start 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:14.680 helping people, or now they're going to start their career. 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:17.320 Now they're going to you know, it's like when you 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:20.120 say it like that, people go, well, of course that's ridiculous. 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:27.000 But you know, these things can, like dysfunction and genius 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:28.880 can actually coexist. 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:31.960 I think it's actually even better with that combination. To 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:34.040 be honest, Like, you think of someone like say, with 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:37.080 you you're a PT, right, imagine a PT that has never 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:39.800 like in their minds. You know, I'm teaching you from 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:43.040 the theory, and they separate themselves from their clients, so 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:45.000 they're like, you just need to do this perfect plan. 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:46.640 I've never had an issue with it, Just go get 0:07:46.640 --> 0:07:49.640 it done. They've never made a struggled with weight, They've 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:51.720 never seen any of these kind of barriers. It's going 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:53.480 to be very different to how you approach it because 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:55.800 you're your own personal journey. So I think the more 0:07:55.840 --> 0:07:57.840 that we can embody you know, it's not You're not 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:00.400 separate from me, like I'm hum and your mean, I've 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:02.160 got these struggles to you do. I'm just here to 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:05.920 like help guide you. But yeah, more normalizing, right that 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:08.560 both can coexist, I think the better for everyone. 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:11.520 I know myself, I definitely bring more to. 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:14.280 The table as a therapist that has done her own 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:15.760 in a work than when I wasn't and I was 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:17.400 just trying to be the perfect therapist or I was 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:18.360 just trying to be perfect. 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:20.600 Yeah, like essent. 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:25.160 Yeah, it's funny because first and foremost you're and I 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:27.800 mean there's in complete love and respect. You're just a 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:32.079 person who happen like you just you're just a mum 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:33.880 and you're just that's not good. And I'm just a 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:35.960 bloke who has a podcast. I'm just a bloke who 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:37.960 used to be a fat kid, than a fat teenager, 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:41.800 than a fat adult, and and other things of course, 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:43.760 and a bloke who's written some books and done some 0:08:43.800 --> 0:08:46.200 good things. And you've done lots of cools. But it's 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:50.680 like this, It's this fucking fruit salad of variables, you know, 0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:53.880 good and bad, messy and sad, happy, and you know, 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:56.760 and in the middle of all of that, there we are. There, 0:08:56.760 --> 0:08:59.800 we are trying to trying to figure out life and 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:02.120 try to figure out us in the middle of life 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:05.920 and that whole kind of you know, waiting until you've 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:09.600 got your shit together. It's like my friends who clean 0:09:09.640 --> 0:09:13.840 the house before the cleaner comes, because I'm like, what, 0:09:14.360 --> 0:09:16.200 I don't have a plan, by the way, but it's like, 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:19.000 you know, they're cleaning up before the cleaner comes, or 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:22.160 because you know, we can't see mess. It's like, well, 0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:25.640 life is mess. You are a mess sometimes. I am 0:09:25.679 --> 0:09:29.960 a mess sometimes. And I think the thing about you know, 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:33.040 because you've had your own challenges. I've had my own challenges, 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:38.520 personal challenges and the fact that I didn't have and 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:41.000 don't have great genetics, and I wasn't a brilliant this 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:43.440 or a gift to that, or the fact that my 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:49.960 default setting was kind of pretty mediocre. Means when I 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:53.240 go to talk to somebody who's struggling, not only do 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:58.920 I kind of from a training and an education, you know, 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:02.800 and an inter electual perspective know how to talk to them, 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:08.720 but also experientially I empathize. I'm like, I'm just like you, 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:11.960 Like I get it. All those feelings or most of 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:15.320 those feelings you have, I either have them currently or 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:18.079 I have had them. So when I talk to you 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:21.119 about all the bullshit that you're navigating and the adversity 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:22.880 and the peaks and troughs and the mayhem and the 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:29.640 overthinking and the underdoing, I'm talking experientially. First, I'm talking 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:34.439 from a place of a personal awareness and understanding and empathy. 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:39.840 And then I'm talking to you as a coach, mentor teacher, excise, physiologist, 0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:40.520 whatever the fuck. 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:43.560 So that's the first bit, right, And you would have 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:44.800 been going through that, and if you didn't have a 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:46.880 self awareness, you wouldn't been able to put words to it. 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:48.480 And I think this is why it's so powerful when 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:51.800 you're talking from experience. I mean me and myself too. 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:53.600 Like you know, when you learn so much theory, you know, 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:55.240 you think that that's it. I just need to learn 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:57.320 these skills, right, I just need to learn more information, 0:10:57.720 --> 0:11:00.360 But it's actually the process of these experiences. If I 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:02.760 did not have the experience of going for something so 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:05.720 out of my comfort zone, like a PhD, I wouldn't 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:07.400 have known that resilience isn't this. 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:10.720 Perfect path, Like you said, it's such a mess. It 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:11.960 is a complete mess. 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:14.199 The amount of I definitely, you know, felt like I 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:15.840 could get through up most of the time, and yet 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:16.719 somehow I did, right. 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:19.880 So, I think we often put people on pedestals or we. 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:22.720 Just think that to do the hard thing is just 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:25.679 it's easy for some people, or you know that there 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:28.280 are no challenges, or we see them as having some 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:31.040 kind of you know, separate superpower. But if anything, no, 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:33.520 they're just every day people like you said, that have 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:36.600 that awareness, right, and that are kind of almost like. 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:38.640 Challenging themselves and going, you know what, I've got this, 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:40.640 but I'm still just going to keep going. I'm going 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:43.439 to find a way. And you share that I think 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:44.079 people can tell. 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:46.320 I definitely can tell when I'm speaking to someone and 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:48.920 they're really connected and they're aware to their own humanity. 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:52.160 They come with the sense of humility but also confidence. 0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:59.400 Yeah, and I think relatability like when I go, oh, 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:02.360 he's seventy two ways that I fucked up, and here's 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:05.840 four hundred things that I got wrong, and here's some 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:10.600 embarrassing moments, and here's where I gave some people some 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:14.080 bad advice, and here's where I thought something that actually 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:18.640 wasn't true, and here's what I had to unlearn. Then 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:23.880 I think people trust you more rather than here's a 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:25.720 bloke or here's a woman who went and did this 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:27.640 degree and they got this bit of paper and they 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:32.439 got that qualification, but they've never actually been through any 0:12:32.480 --> 0:12:36.320 of this, so it's all just a theoretical concept kind 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:39.920 of plugged into their brain and then they wheel out 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:43.480 this theory versus well, I have an academic and an 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:48.640 intellectual understanding of whatever human behavior or sadness sort depression 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:53.120 or anxiety or whatever it is, getting in shape, whatever 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:56.360 the thing is. But also I have all this personal 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:59.640 experience and all this other experience with all these other humans. 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:02.200 And by the way, I worked in this kind of 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:05.680 paradigm where people came to me for decades saying Craig, 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.040 this is how I am. I don't want to be 0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:11.000 like this. You know, nobody comes to a gym because 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:15.160 they don't want to change. Nobody says, here's my body 0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:17.440 and here's my money. I want to look exactly the 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:21.319 same and feel exactly the same in twelve months and 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:24.040 so and this is I think one of the things, 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:29.520 just speaking specific to the fitness industry. Like I when 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:31.640 I first started, right, I was eighteen years old. I'm 0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:34.200 working in gyms. You wouldn't have been born because you're 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:39.520 annoyingly young. But anyway, but so you when you first 0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:41.360 start working, well when I did, when a lot of 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:42.960 my friends did. So you go into the gym and 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:45.679 you go, okay, this is a squad. This is a deadlift. 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.319 This is how you do a chin. This is flexion. 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:52.199 This is extension, internal external rotation, dumb bells, bar bells, 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:54.280 kettle bells, they'd bars, straight bars. 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:55.040 You know. 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.920 This is sets and reps. This is volume and workload. 0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:00.839 This is how bodies adapt to stress. This is all 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:04.600 of these things, all of these physiological and practical things 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:08.360 that we do to a body. And then and then 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:10.920 a year or two or three and you're like, let's see, 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:13.040 I know, you know, I still have lots to learn, 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.840 but I know a bit now about training and progressive 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:20.440 overload and nutrition and sleep and and genetics and help, 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:24.520 you know. But my clients they're not here anymore, or 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:28.760 the gym members they don't come, or they won't do 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:32.960 anything hard, or they start five times a year and 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:37.560 give up five times a year, or you kind of realize, oh, 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:41.160 I realized. Listen, how much I understand about body is 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.920 not nearly Bodies is not nearly as important as how 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:49.040 much I understand about people, like the person, like the 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:53.880 person in the body, and not only that. You go, oh, well, yeah, sure, 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:55.640 I can write them a program and tell them what 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:56.880 to do and why to do it and how to 0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:58.240 do it, when to do it, and I can give 0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:01.040 them a million bucks worth of gym EQUI and give 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:03.400 them a gym membership and go, here you are. Here's 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:05.840 everything from a training point of view that you need. 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:11.120 Off you go. But you don't understand you know, human 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:15.200 behavior or the mind, or fear or anxiety or motivation 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:19.360 or the lack thereof, or our lack of willingness to 0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:23.200 get uncomfortable consistently and all of these emotional and psychological 0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:28.120 and behavioral variables, and so you get shit results with 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:30.640 your clients or your members, and you think, oh, fuck, 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:34.160 I need to learn more about people, Like, yeah, I 0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:37.520 know a bit about bodies, but I need to learn 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:40.800 more about people. So for me, that was the trying 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:43.720 to understand. Yeah, I can write a program, and I 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:47.600 can teach you about anatomy and physiology and biomechanics, but 0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:52.520 I can't understand how come I give these two people 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:55.800 the same information, inspiration, and resources and one gets great 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:59.800 results and another one with maybe better potential, gets terrible. 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:04.000 Is that that's the nuance to try to figure this 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:04.640 shit out. 0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:07.320 Yeah, And the nuance around that because even when you've 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:08.640 just made such a good point, because I feel like 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.200 even when in my industry where it's really all about 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:13.960 human behavior, we can make for example, you know, I've 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:16.720 seen kids have this perfect behavior plan, right, and you've 0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:19.360 got all the theories and all like the strategies, and 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:21.280 then it just doesn't work right as soon as it 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:26.280 leaves the boardroom, and no one knows how to utilize 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:28.400 that feedback and going okay, which part didn't work? Okay, 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:30.400 we need to adapt this all right, let's try this out, 0:16:30.600 --> 0:16:32.600 let's stick with this that there is no kind of 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:35.280 process for how do we actually anticipate that this is 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:36.920 probably not going to work in the perfect way that 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:39.320 we want it to. But then how do we start 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:42.920 to make creative co creative plan that does work and 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:44.360 it's going to be messy and it's not going to 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:46.720 look as perfect as we want. And we probably you know, 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:48.520 said ten things and we'll probably just need to focus 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:51.480 on one or whatever else. But what is that refinement process? 0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:52.880 I don't think we get good at that. And like 0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:55.520 you said, they take this theory from a fitness book, 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:57.480 and a perfect plan is for all the reps and 0:16:57.480 --> 0:16:59.600 you've got all the sets and you're like all the temposa, 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:02.400 you know, on point and then the mom just doesn't 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:06.359 do it and there's something else going on deeper. So 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:08.760 you're right, I think so much of it is. I 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:11.080 think it's that reiteration of going, this is never going 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:13.360 to be your perfect plan. But we need to understand 0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:15.600 your barriers, what are the external internal barriers, and how 0:17:15.600 --> 0:17:17.280 do we keep working towards the planet? 0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:18.399 Does work? 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:21.600 Yeah? 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:23.520 I mean I noticed, for example, for myself when I 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:25.280 started on the fitness journey. You know, I fell in 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:28.520 love with weightlifting, and you know I was all about 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.200 tasing that perfect plan and you know, for my goals 0:17:31.240 --> 0:17:31.800 and everything. 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:34.119 But what I did anticipate. 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:35.760 Is, you know, being a mom and you you know, 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:37.199 look in the mirror and you're ready to do a 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:41.000 workout and you're like, that mirror is daddy, I need 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:42.639 to clean that first. And I've got this too, and 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:44.439 I've got that too, and I've got that and why 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:47.359 why should I be prioritizing this exercise that can wait? 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:49.879 It was so much just this internal process that actually 0:17:49.920 --> 0:17:51.840 had nothing to do with my access to the gym 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:55.679 or how much you know, again, this workout plan was perfect. 0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:58.280 It was his voices really in our heads that are 0:17:58.280 --> 0:17:59.720 telling us I'm not doing it in the way that 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:03.120 i'man what's the point, Like, I've got other things to do. 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:05.440 This is not a priority. And so I think if 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:07.520 we're not working with clients that are willing to. 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:11.159 Reflect right on what is that story. 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:12.920 Inside their head about why they can't do the thing, 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:15.320 how could you, ever, as a coach, really get a 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.960 plan that's going to be workable for them. 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:23.240 And I think also having enough situational awareness emotional intelligence 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:27.720 and perception to go, oh, this is going to work 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:31.400 for Sam, but this is not going to work for Jane. Yeah, 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:33.800 And even though Jane and Sam are telling them in 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:36.359 the same things and they've got the same challenge, the 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:40.240 same protocol won't work as effectively. It might be really 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:43.600 good for Sam and really ineffective for Jane. You know, so, 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:45.960 I think for all of us, and you don't need 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:48.800 to be a coach or a PhD or an anything 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:52.119 for this. It's like, I think, very much like in 0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:56.800 the space of personal development, getting better, learning evolving for 0:18:56.840 --> 0:18:59.960 all of our listeners who are very much about selfish 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:03.480 improvement I guess, or personal development whatever that means to 0:19:03.520 --> 0:19:08.119 them specifically, So much of it is really about trial 0:19:08.160 --> 0:19:11.040 and error, like try stuff, see what happens? Like, oh, 0:19:11.080 --> 0:19:13.760 what did you do? Cool? Oh well I tried two 0:19:13.800 --> 0:19:16.600 meals a day, Okay, what happened? Or I tried intermittent 0:19:16.560 --> 0:19:19.000 and fasting, all right, Well, how long did you not 0:19:19.080 --> 0:19:22.320 eat for sixteen hours? Eight? So sixteen eight split? Cool? 0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:24.720 What happened? Oh this that? How'd you feel? I felt 0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:27.480 fucking terrible? Cool? Maybe that's not for you, or maybe 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:30.560 that exact protocols not for you, you know, maybe try 0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:34.000