1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: I'll get a team. It's a You Project. What else 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:04,520 Speaker 1: would it be. I probably don't need to say that. 3 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:06,640 Speaker 1: I probably just need to start talking. I guess by 4 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:09,560 Speaker 1: now two thousand and something episodes in, but fuck it. 5 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,559 Speaker 1: Maybe there's a few new people who go, what is this? 6 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 1: Who is this? Who is that? Man? What am I 7 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,959 Speaker 1: listening to? That's for you, that's for you newbies, of course. 8 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,919 Speaker 1: In the You Project, is the name is show? Craig 9 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,919 Speaker 1: is my name. I'm the host. We've been doing this 10 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 1: for about eight years and DTR Sam Casey joins me 11 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: on a regular basis from the thriving metropolis of Karatha, 12 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: is it? That's right, Caratha up on the kind of 13 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: northern confines of Western Australia, up there with all the 14 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,920 Speaker 1: big trucks and dirt and dust and industry and heat 15 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 1: and mayhem. What is it that attracts you to that place? Why? 16 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:49,160 Speaker 1: Why are you there? 17 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:50,200 Speaker 2: Good question? 18 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 3: You know, it's such a good mix of country and 19 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 3: city life. I feel like Kartha is you know, you 20 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 3: could look over and it looks like a city and 21 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 3: it's got you know, you got your shopping centers in 22 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 3: your cafes, and it's just it's so nice and parts 23 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 3: and greenery, and then you could literally just turn the 24 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 3: other side and you've got the mountains and the red 25 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 3: dead and the hiking and it's so it's just such 26 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,839 Speaker 3: a good mix of country and city life, I think. 27 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: And how did you? I mean, did you grow up there? 28 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 1: Did you move there for work? Did something? Did you 29 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 1: move there for a relationship or you know, I don't 30 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: want to open in your doors, I shouldn't, but how 31 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 1: did you? How did you end up there? Yeah? 32 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 3: No, so my ex husband was in mining, so we 33 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 3: originally moved up to another little town called Para Badoo, 34 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 3: which is also in the Pilbra. 35 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 2: It's a small mining town. And then we had moved 36 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,040 Speaker 2: from Parado to Karasa. 37 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 3: So yeah, Crassa is definitely a bit more city life, 38 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 3: but I've fallen in love with it and I absolutely 39 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 3: loved the country, the country at all. 40 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: Like as we record, it's October thirty one. Yeah, so 41 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: we're heading into summer. What is like what is the 42 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: temperature range? Typically not not today, but in general terms, 43 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: like what's the So in Melbourne this morning it was 44 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: actually mild, but yesterday morning in Melbourne I think it 45 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: was five right, And we're stumbling into it, like it 46 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: was five degrees Well where I was, it was five 47 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 1: in Hampton, Like, what's the kind of range there temperature wise? 48 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 3: Oh, we always hover around like the thirties and the forties. 49 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,519 Speaker 3: So it's yeah, it's really intense. And you get like 50 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 3: a few months in the middle of the year where 51 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 3: it's like super cold, but most of the time it's 52 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 3: hot as like even now it's quite it's getting quite uncomfortable. 53 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm used to it, but yeah, for. 54 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 3: A lot of people, they're like, I cannot survive a summer, 55 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 3: and I'm like, we haven't actually reached the summer yet, 56 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,800 Speaker 3: Like it's only Altoba. 57 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,079 Speaker 2: It's only going to get hotter now. 58 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:49,919 Speaker 1: For my listeners, my listeners from Canada and from New 59 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 1: York and from Melbourne and from Hobart, they want to know, 60 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 1: when you say it's super cold, what are you talking about. 61 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 2: I would have my cardigan on when it's like the 62 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 2: mid twenties. I can't deal. 63 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 1: Mid twenties. Now, mid twenties. Everyone who works to Celsius 64 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: knows what that means. Everyone else in fahrenheit mid twenties. 65 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 1: I think Ballpark is mid to high seventies. Fahrenheit. That 66 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:22,519 Speaker 1: is just nothing in the ballpark of cold. Sam. It's 67 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 1: not even a bit cold. It's nothing like cold. 68 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 2: Oh I'd be shivering at that point, so you would be. 69 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: No good in Melbourne. No. Wow, So you've fully adapted. 70 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 3: I have. 71 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 2: It's crazy how quickly your body adapts. I know. 72 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 3: It's even when I just go down to bath, I'm like, 73 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 3: it is freezing. Does anyone not see this? 74 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 2: And everyone's like, what is your problem? 75 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: Wow? 76 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 2: All right? 77 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 1: So doctor Sam joins us every month or two. Just 78 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: psychologists working mainly in the space of kids and play 79 00:03:54,560 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: and educating parents around play therapy and other things, and 80 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 1: helping helping families and helping individuals. Correct me if I 81 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: get any of this wrong. But we just get together 82 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 1: and have a general stuff around life and performance and 83 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: thinking and psychology and human behavior. It doesn't have to 84 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 1: be specific to kids. But you said to me earlier, Well, 85 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 1: we didn't chat, we messaged, But you said to me 86 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 1: on a message. I like a post that you put 87 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,720 Speaker 1: up the other day. If you don't follow me on Instagram, 88 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 1: follow me if you would, Craig Anthony Harper. But I 89 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: put up a thing on Insta and I'm going to 90 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,160 Speaker 1: read it, and you said you wanted to chat about 91 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 1: it because it resonated. 92 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 2: Why. 93 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,280 Speaker 1: I don't know if that's the word resonated. 94 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:37,480 Speaker 2: What. 95 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,920 Speaker 1: Anyway, let's read it because I probably don't want to 96 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,479 Speaker 1: make you. I don't want to throw you under the 97 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: swearing bus and make you read it. So the title 98 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 1: is a bit fucked a lot human. Of course you're 99 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 1: a bit fucked in the head. Of Course you overthink. 100 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 1: Of course you experience self doubt, imposter syndrome, insecurity, fear 101 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,280 Speaker 1: of rejection. Yet none of this can take away your 102 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,119 Speaker 1: potential to do amazing thing things, create amazing outcomes, rise 103 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: above your limitations, succeed despite your innate human bullshit, and 104 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 1: build a life that's meaningful, fulfilling, and beautifully imperfect, just 105 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: like you. Yeah, that's for me. That's kind of the 106 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 1: intersection of encouragement and being head over the hit over 107 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: the head with like a stick or something. It's like, 108 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: I'm trying to be positive and I'm trying to encourage 109 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:29,359 Speaker 1: and support people, and I'm trying to open the door 110 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 1: on their understanding of their own potential and possibilities. Why 111 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: did you like that? What did that? What resonated? 112 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 3: Yeah? 113 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 2: I see this. 114 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 3: It just come up so much, you know, as the 115 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 3: therapist right with clients, and I gues see them belief 116 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:43,280 Speaker 3: for myself. 117 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,839 Speaker 2: Right, this is just a humanity kind of issue here. 118 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 3: But when you said they're about trying to be positive, 119 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 3: I think a lot of the times people kind of 120 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 3: see it as you know, let's just get over all 121 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,839 Speaker 3: these limitations and let's get over these insecurities and let's 122 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:57,480 Speaker 3: get over these kind of battles and then we can 123 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,720 Speaker 3: go do the amazing thing. And I feel like with 124 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 3: your it was way more real. It was like, Nope, 125 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 3: these things exist because we're human, and they will probably 126 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,279 Speaker 3: forever exist in some kind of capacity. But it does 127 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 3: not need to stop us from going out and doing 128 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 3: the thing right, doing the things that will help build 129 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 3: us that meaningful life, doing the things that light us up. 130 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 3: We can overcome all that, we can still reach potential. 131 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 3: So I think quite often we think I'll just wait 132 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 3: until i'll do this work and then I'll do that, 133 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 3: or let me just get my stuff sorted first, let 134 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 3: me organize my house, let me go to therapy first, 135 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 3: and then I'll go do the thing, and we just 136 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 3: don't realize that that stuff's never done. It is just 137 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,360 Speaker 3: never completed. The inner work is never completed, the outside 138 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,039 Speaker 3: chaost is never completed. We are constantly going to have 139 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 3: Once you kind of get to one, overcome one level, 140 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:42,839 Speaker 3: you're already hitting. 141 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,599 Speaker 2: A next level, right, So we're always going to be 142 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:45,480 Speaker 2: chipping away at this. 143 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:48,679 Speaker 3: But despite all that, if we can kind of get 144 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 3: I guess in our heads right that we don't need 145 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 3: to solve the issue, We just need to like really 146 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 3: learn how to create a meaningful life alongside the chaos, 147 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,359 Speaker 3: it can just be so much more fulfilling. 148 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, imagine if you and I waited until we had 149 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:07,479 Speaker 1: all of our shit together, no problems, no issues, his 150 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: perfect Kragan, perfect Sam, and now they're going to start 151 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 1: helping people, or now they're going to start their career. 152 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: Now they're going to you know, it's like when you 153 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,120 Speaker 1: say it like that, people go, well, of course that's ridiculous. 154 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: But you know, these things can, like dysfunction and genius 155 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 1: can actually coexist. 156 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 3: I think it's actually even better with that combination. To 157 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 3: be honest, Like, you think of someone like say, with 158 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 3: you you're a PT, right, imagine a PT that has never 159 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 3: like in their minds. You know, I'm teaching you from 160 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 3: the theory, and they separate themselves from their clients, so 161 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 3: they're like, you just need to do this perfect plan. 162 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 3: I've never had an issue with it, Just go get 163 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 3: it done. They've never made a struggled with weight, They've 164 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 3: never seen any of these kind of barriers. It's going 165 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 3: to be very different to how you approach it because 166 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 3: you're your own personal journey. So I think the more 167 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 3: that we can embody you know, it's not You're not 168 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 3: separate from me, like I'm hum and your mean, I've 169 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 3: got these struggles to you do. I'm just here to 170 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 3: like help guide you. But yeah, more normalizing, right that 171 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 3: both can coexist, I think the better for everyone. 172 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 2: I know myself, I definitely bring more to. 173 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 3: The table as a therapist that has done her own 174 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 3: in a work than when I wasn't and I was 175 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 3: just trying to be the perfect therapist or I was 176 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 3: just trying to be perfect. 177 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, like essent. 178 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny because first and foremost you're and I 179 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: mean there's in complete love and respect. You're just a 180 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:32,079 Speaker 1: person who happen like you just you're just a mum 181 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: and you're just that's not good. And I'm just a 182 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 1: bloke who has a podcast. I'm just a bloke who 183 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,960 Speaker 1: used to be a fat kid, than a fat teenager, 184 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: than a fat adult, and and other things of course, 185 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: and a bloke who's written some books and done some 186 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: good things. And you've done lots of cools. But it's 187 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 1: like this, It's this fucking fruit salad of variables, you know, 188 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: good and bad, messy and sad, happy, and you know, 189 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: and in the middle of all of that, there we are. There, 190 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,800 Speaker 1: we are trying to trying to figure out life and 191 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 1: try to figure out us in the middle of life 192 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 1: and that whole kind of you know, waiting until you've 193 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 1: got your shit together. It's like my friends who clean 194 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 1: the house before the cleaner comes, because I'm like, what, 195 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: I don't have a plan, by the way, but it's like, 196 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 1: you know, they're cleaning up before the cleaner comes, or 197 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 1: because you know, we can't see mess. It's like, well, 198 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,640 Speaker 1: life is mess. You are a mess sometimes. I am 199 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:29,960 Speaker 1: a mess sometimes. And I think the thing about you know, 200 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: because you've had your own challenges. I've had my own challenges, 201 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 1: personal challenges and the fact that I didn't have and 202 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 1: don't have great genetics, and I wasn't a brilliant this 203 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 1: or a gift to that, or the fact that my 204 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:49,960 Speaker 1: default setting was kind of pretty mediocre. Means when I 205 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 1: go to talk to somebody who's struggling, not only do 206 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 1: I kind of from a training and an education, you know, 207 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: and an inter electual perspective know how to talk to them, 208 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:08,720 Speaker 1: but also experientially I empathize. I'm like, I'm just like you, 209 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 1: Like I get it. All those feelings or most of 210 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 1: those feelings you have, I either have them currently or 211 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,079 Speaker 1: I have had them. So when I talk to you 212 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:21,119 Speaker 1: about all the bullshit that you're navigating and the adversity 213 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: and the peaks and troughs and the mayhem and the 214 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: overthinking and the underdoing, I'm talking experientially. First, I'm talking 215 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:34,439 Speaker 1: from a place of a personal awareness and understanding and empathy. 216 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 1: And then I'm talking to you as a coach, mentor teacher, excise, physiologist, 217 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: whatever the fuck. 218 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 3: So that's the first bit, right, And you would have 219 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 3: been going through that, and if you didn't have a 220 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 3: self awareness, you wouldn't been able to put words to it. 221 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 3: And I think this is why it's so powerful when 222 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 3: you're talking from experience. I mean me and myself too. 223 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 3: Like you know, when you learn so much theory, you know, 224 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 3: you think that that's it. I just need to learn 225 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,320 Speaker 3: these skills, right, I just need to learn more information, 226 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,360 Speaker 3: But it's actually the process of these experiences. If I 227 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 3: did not have the experience of going for something so 228 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,720 Speaker 3: out of my comfort zone, like a PhD, I wouldn't 229 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 3: have known that resilience isn't this. 230 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,720 Speaker 2: Perfect path, Like you said, it's such a mess. It 231 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 2: is a complete mess. 232 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,199 Speaker 3: The amount of I definitely, you know, felt like I 233 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 3: could get through up most of the time, and yet 234 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:16,719 Speaker 3: somehow I did, right. 235 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 2: So, I think we often put people on pedestals or we. 236 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 3: Just think that to do the hard thing is just 237 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,679 Speaker 3: it's easy for some people, or you know that there 238 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 3: are no challenges, or we see them as having some 239 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 3: kind of you know, separate superpower. But if anything, no, 240 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 3: they're just every day people like you said, that have 241 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,600 Speaker 3: that awareness, right, and that are kind of almost like. 242 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 2: Challenging themselves and going, you know what, I've got this, 243 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 2: but I'm still just going to keep going. I'm going 244 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,439 Speaker 2: to find a way. And you share that I think 245 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,079 Speaker 2: people can tell. 246 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,320 Speaker 3: I definitely can tell when I'm speaking to someone and 247 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 3: they're really connected and they're aware to their own humanity. 248 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 3: They come with the sense of humility but also confidence. 249 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think relatability like when I go, oh, 250 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 1: he's seventy two ways that I fucked up, and here's 251 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: four hundred things that I got wrong, and here's some 252 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 1: embarrassing moments, and here's where I gave some people some 253 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 1: bad advice, and here's where I thought something that actually 254 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 1: wasn't true, and here's what I had to unlearn. Then 255 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: I think people trust you more rather than here's a 256 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 1: bloke or here's a woman who went and did this 257 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 1: degree and they got this bit of paper and they 258 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:32,439 Speaker 1: got that qualification, but they've never actually been through any 259 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:36,320 Speaker 1: of this, so it's all just a theoretical concept kind 260 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 1: of plugged into their brain and then they wheel out 261 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: this theory versus well, I have an academic and an 262 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 1: intellectual understanding of whatever human behavior or sadness sort depression 263 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 1: or anxiety or whatever it is, getting in shape, whatever 264 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: the thing is. But also I have all this personal 265 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: experience and all this other experience with all these other humans. 266 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,200 Speaker 1: And by the way, I worked in this kind of 267 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,680 Speaker 1: paradigm where people came to me for decades saying Craig, 268 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 1: this is how I am. I don't want to be 269 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: like this. You know, nobody comes to a gym because 270 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:15,160 Speaker 1: they don't want to change. Nobody says, here's my body 271 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 1: and here's my money. I want to look exactly the 272 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:21,319 Speaker 1: same and feel exactly the same in twelve months and 273 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 1: so and this is I think one of the things, 274 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 1: just speaking specific to the fitness industry. Like I when 275 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,640 Speaker 1: I first started, right, I was eighteen years old. I'm 276 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 1: working in gyms. You wouldn't have been born because you're 277 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: annoyingly young. But anyway, but so you when you first 278 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: start working, well when I did, when a lot of 279 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 1: my friends did. So you go into the gym and 280 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,679 Speaker 1: you go, okay, this is a squad. This is a deadlift. 281 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:48,319 Speaker 1: This is how you do a chin. This is flexion. 282 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:52,199 Speaker 1: This is extension, internal external rotation, dumb bells, bar bells, 283 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,280 Speaker 1: kettle bells, they'd bars, straight bars. 284 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 2: You know. 285 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: This is sets and reps. This is volume and workload. 286 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,839 Speaker 1: This is how bodies adapt to stress. This is all 287 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: of these things, all of these physiological and practical things 288 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 1: that we do to a body. And then and then 289 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,920 Speaker 1: a year or two or three and you're like, let's see, 290 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 1: I know, you know, I still have lots to learn, 291 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,840 Speaker 1: but I know a bit now about training and progressive 292 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: overload and nutrition and sleep and and genetics and help, 293 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:24,520 Speaker 1: you know. But my clients they're not here anymore, or 294 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:28,760 Speaker 1: the gym members they don't come, or they won't do 295 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 1: anything hard, or they start five times a year and 296 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 1: give up five times a year, or you kind of realize, oh, 297 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,160 Speaker 1: I realized. Listen, how much I understand about body is 298 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 1: not nearly Bodies is not nearly as important as how 299 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: much I understand about people, like the person, like the 300 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:53,880 Speaker 1: person in the body, and not only that. You go, oh, well, yeah, sure, 301 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,640 Speaker 1: I can write them a program and tell them what 302 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 1: to do and why to do it and how to 303 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: do it, when to do it, and I can give 304 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: them a million bucks worth of gym EQUI and give 305 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,400 Speaker 1: them a gym membership and go, here you are. Here's 306 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 1: everything from a training point of view that you need. 307 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 1: Off you go. But you don't understand you know, human 308 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 1: behavior or the mind, or fear or anxiety or motivation 309 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 1: or the lack thereof, or our lack of willingness to 310 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 1: get uncomfortable consistently and all of these emotional and psychological 311 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 1: and behavioral variables, and so you get shit results with 312 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,640 Speaker 1: your clients or your members, and you think, oh, fuck, 313 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 1: I need to learn more about people, Like, yeah, I 314 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 1: know a bit about bodies, but I need to learn 315 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,800 Speaker 1: more about people. So for me, that was the trying 316 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 1: to understand. Yeah, I can write a program, and I 317 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: can teach you about anatomy and physiology and biomechanics, but 318 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 1: I can't understand how come I give these two people 319 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 1: the same information, inspiration, and resources and one gets great 320 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,800 Speaker 1: results and another one with maybe better potential, gets terrible. 321 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 1: Is that that's the nuance to try to figure this 322 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:04,640 Speaker 1: shit out. 323 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, And the nuance around that because even when you've 324 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 3: just made such a good point, because I feel like 325 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 3: even when in my industry where it's really all about 326 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 3: human behavior, we can make for example, you know, I've 327 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 3: seen kids have this perfect behavior plan, right, and you've 328 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 3: got all the theories and all like the strategies, and 329 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,280 Speaker 3: then it just doesn't work right as soon as it 330 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 3: leaves the boardroom, and no one knows how to utilize 331 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 3: that feedback and going okay, which part didn't work? Okay, 332 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,400 Speaker 3: we need to adapt this all right, let's try this out, 333 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 3: let's stick with this that there is no kind of 334 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 3: process for how do we actually anticipate that this is 335 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:36,920 Speaker 3: probably not going to work in the perfect way that 336 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 3: we want it to. But then how do we start 337 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 3: to make creative co creative plan that does work and 338 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,360 Speaker 3: it's going to be messy and it's not going to 339 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 3: look as perfect as we want. And we probably you know, 340 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 3: said ten things and we'll probably just need to focus 341 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 3: on one or whatever else. But what is that refinement process? 342 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 3: I don't think we get good at that. And like 343 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 3: you said, they take this theory from a fitness book, 344 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 3: and a perfect plan is for all the reps and 345 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 3: you've got all the sets and you're like all the temposa, 346 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 3: you know, on point and then the mom just doesn't 347 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:06,359 Speaker 3: do it and there's something else going on deeper. So 348 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 3: you're right, I think so much of it is. I 349 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 3: think it's that reiteration of going, this is never going 350 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,360 Speaker 3: to be your perfect plan. But we need to understand 351 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 3: your barriers, what are the external internal barriers, and how 352 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 3: do we keep working towards the planet? 353 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:18,399 Speaker 2: Does work? 354 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:21,600 Speaker 1: Yeah? 355 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 3: I mean I noticed, for example, for myself when I 356 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 3: started on the fitness journey. You know, I fell in 357 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 3: love with weightlifting, and you know I was all about 358 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,200 Speaker 3: tasing that perfect plan and you know, for my goals 359 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 3: and everything. 360 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,119 Speaker 2: But what I did anticipate. 361 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,760 Speaker 3: Is, you know, being a mom and you you know, 362 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,199 Speaker 3: look in the mirror and you're ready to do a 363 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 3: workout and you're like, that mirror is daddy, I need 364 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,639 Speaker 3: to clean that first. And I've got this too, and 365 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,439 Speaker 3: I've got that too, and I've got that and why 366 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 3: why should I be prioritizing this exercise that can wait? 367 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,879 Speaker 3: It was so much just this internal process that actually 368 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 3: had nothing to do with my access to the gym 369 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:55,679 Speaker 3: or how much you know, again, this workout plan was perfect. 370 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,280 Speaker 3: It was his voices really in our heads that are 371 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,720 Speaker 3: telling us I'm not doing it in the way that 372 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 3: i'man what's the point, Like, I've got other things to do. 373 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 3: This is not a priority. And so I think if 374 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,520 Speaker 3: we're not working with clients that are willing to. 375 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,159 Speaker 2: Reflect right on what is that story. 376 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,920 Speaker 3: Inside their head about why they can't do the thing, 377 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,320 Speaker 3: how could you, ever, as a coach, really get a 378 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 3: plan that's going to be workable for them. 379 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:23,240 Speaker 1: And I think also having enough situational awareness emotional intelligence 380 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 1: and perception to go, oh, this is going to work 381 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:31,400 Speaker 1: for Sam, but this is not going to work for Jane. Yeah, 382 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: And even though Jane and Sam are telling them in 383 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,359 Speaker 1: the same things and they've got the same challenge, the 384 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:40,240 Speaker 1: same protocol won't work as effectively. It might be really 385 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: good for Sam and really ineffective for Jane. You know, so, 386 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,960 Speaker 1: I think for all of us, and you don't need 387 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,800 Speaker 1: to be a coach or a PhD or an anything 388 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,119 Speaker 1: for this. It's like, I think, very much like in 389 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:56,800 Speaker 1: the space of personal development, getting better, learning evolving for 390 00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 1: all of our listeners who are very much about selfish 391 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 1: improvement I guess, or personal development whatever that means to 392 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:08,119 Speaker 1: them specifically, So much of it is really about trial 393 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: and error, like try stuff, see what happens? Like, oh, 394 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,760 Speaker 1: what did you do? Cool? Oh well I tried two 395 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,600 Speaker 1: meals a day, Okay, what happened? Or I tried intermittent 396 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 1: and fasting, all right, Well, how long did you not 397 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: eat for sixteen hours? Eight? So sixteen eight split? Cool? 398 00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 1: What happened? Oh this that? How'd you feel? I felt 399 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,480 Speaker 1: fucking terrible? Cool? Maybe that's not for you, or maybe 400 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 1: that exact protocols not for you, you know, maybe try 401 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 1: I don't know, try fourteen ten or whatever it is, 402 00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 1: or maybe just have three meals a day, or but 403 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,160 Speaker 1: maybe you know, maybe you don't have your night meal 404 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,199 Speaker 1: huge or what I started running? Cool? How'd that go? 405 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 1: On a neeza sort? Well, why don't you try stare 406 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 1: mast or elliptical strider or whe an't you Maybe your 407 00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:50,159 Speaker 1: runners are fucked? Or maybe you should run on grass, 408 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,920 Speaker 1: or maybe you should run on dirt or sand, or 409 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 1: maybe you should do deep water running on like, there 410 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,880 Speaker 1: are so many fucking things that we can try. We go, Oh, 411 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:02,200 Speaker 1: guess what my body loves when I do this. Yeah, 412 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 1: when I get eight hours sleep, I feel fucking amazing. 413 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 1: When I have six, I feel terrible. Guess what When 414 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: I get up in the morning and I have half 415 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 1: a liter of water and I don't look at my 416 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,159 Speaker 1: phone and I go for a walk and I just 417 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 1: spend thirty minutes without any stimulants or stimulation, my day 418 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,480 Speaker 1: is so much better. But when I pick up the 419 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,520 Speaker 1: phone before I even get out of bed, and I'm 420 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:28,960 Speaker 1: like in fucking cognitive overload because now I'm anticipating problems 421 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:32,399 Speaker 1: that might happen later in the day. My central nervous 422 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,040 Speaker 1: systems fried before I get out of bed. My brain's 423 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,439 Speaker 1: fucked and I have a bad Oh okay, so don't 424 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:41,399 Speaker 1: do that, Like you don't need like nobody needs a 425 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 1: sam or a crag to go, hey, do this or 426 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,720 Speaker 1: don't do that. It's like our body is always telling 427 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 1: us what's working. 428 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,639 Speaker 3: It's all the feedback that we need and if anything, 429 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 3: that's going to be way better, right, because what works 430 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,760 Speaker 3: in one says in the fluff isn't going to work 431 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:54,160 Speaker 3: in the other. 432 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 2: So I think that is the secret. 433 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,920 Speaker 3: And it's just that process of really approaching your life 434 00:20:59,160 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 3: with curiosity. 435 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,680 Speaker 2: That's a researcher. Let's try this. That doesn't work, Like 436 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:03,359 Speaker 2: if it's working for. 437 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 3: You, great, If it doesn't change it, like I'm not 438 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 3: you and you're not me. And I think that's you've 439 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,199 Speaker 3: hit the nail on the head when you say that 440 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,920 Speaker 3: there is no expert out there that will ever be 441 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 3: able to work for you because they don't have the 442 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,879 Speaker 3: feedback that you've got on your bodies and how that 443 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,440 Speaker 3: feels and you know, how is that working with your life? 444 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,159 Speaker 3: So I think if we are able to approach it 445 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,879 Speaker 3: in that way of going okay, that's not working? What 446 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,879 Speaker 3: else can I try here? And how does that feel? 447 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,479 Speaker 3: And how does that fit in? And then that, like 448 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 3: you said, process of adjustment, refinement, revising it. I mean, 449 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,120 Speaker 3: that's what we should always be doing. Was never really 450 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 3: arrived have we with that? We just keep tweaking things. 451 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 1: And you know what's interesting is sometimes you just you 452 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: do you don't even do it because you're trying to 453 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,080 Speaker 1: be you know, the n equals one guy or girl. 454 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,479 Speaker 1: You know, you're not trying to be the experiment and 455 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,359 Speaker 1: the experiment. You're just like, ah, I'm going to do this. 456 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:56,479 Speaker 1: And you do something with no huge expectations and you 457 00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:00,280 Speaker 1: get I'm leading to a story, but you get really 458 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 1: amazing results, are really significant results that you didn't anticipate. 459 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,639 Speaker 1: And so I would be fourteen months ago now I 460 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 1: was sitting literally where I am now, and my phone beaped. 461 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,160 Speaker 1: I was in my office at my desk. My phone 462 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:17,479 Speaker 1: beat and basically it was the step counter thing on 463 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:21,879 Speaker 1: my phone going, you haven't walked very many steps lately, 464 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:26,080 Speaker 1: like you know, you lazy fuck. And so I looked 465 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:29,879 Speaker 1: at my phone and I've told this before, but I 466 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 1: was like, for the last you know, two weeks averaging 467 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,639 Speaker 1: four and a half thousand steps a day. I'm like, 468 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,600 Speaker 1: fucking hell, that is that is not many steps for 469 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 1: a bloke who's allegedly some kind of fitness expert or 470 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 1: you know, high performance coachy, Like fuck how And I 471 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: just went and at the time I was feeling like, 472 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 1: cognitively not great. I was just a bit that right, 473 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:57,239 Speaker 1: because the only walking I did was really incidental, Like 474 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,399 Speaker 1: I wasn't really going four walks, I wasn't doing hardly 475 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 1: any cardio. I was lifting weights every day. But on 476 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 1: that day, from that day until right now, I just said, well, 477 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,280 Speaker 1: from tomorrow, I'm doing ten thousand steps a day, rock bottom. 478 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 1: And it could be twenty, it could be fifteen, it 479 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:16,359 Speaker 1: could be but whatever, I'm not doing less than ten. 480 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,200 Speaker 1: And so, however many days that is three hundred and 481 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: sixty five days plus a month or two, so maybe 482 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,919 Speaker 1: four hundred days in a row I've done, at the 483 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,119 Speaker 1: worst ten thousand steps or ten thousand, one hundred or 484 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,199 Speaker 1: something up to over twenty thousand. But what's interesting for 485 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 1: me is, and it's very hard to be totally objective 486 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 1: about you, because you are you and all of that. 487 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 1: But as objective as I can be, my energy ironically, 488 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,240 Speaker 1: the more I walk, the better my energy. You would think, oh, 489 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 1: I'm out expending energy, so I'll have less energy. No, ironically, 490 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,560 Speaker 1: within reason. I mean, I'm not walking thirty or forty 491 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 1: thousand steps a day, but I guess I average twelve 492 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,960 Speaker 1: to fifteen thousand on average. And my energy is better, 493 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:03,439 Speaker 1: my brain works better. Not that I was fat, but 494 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 1: I've dropped about five kilos of fat. Like I'm very 495 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 1: lean now. I was eighty five kilos. I'm eighty kilos 496 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:16,040 Speaker 1: now I'm still got. I think pretty much the same muscle, 497 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,199 Speaker 1: same strength, same function, but I'm carrying five kilos that 498 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: obviously I didn't need. My energy is fucking great, My 499 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: cognitive function is good, my emotional state is better. And 500 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 1: I actually it's like this sounds weird, but my body 501 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,159 Speaker 1: misses it if I don't do it, you know. So 502 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:40,399 Speaker 1: I just made one tweak and that is just walk. 503 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,600 Speaker 1: And then you go, well, you can either walk and 504 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 1: just chill out and just think about nothing and just 505 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,000 Speaker 1: give your brain a break and your mind a break. 506 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,240 Speaker 1: And just like, I live eight hundred meters from the beach, 507 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 1: So walk to the beach, put your toes in the sand, 508 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: walk along the edge of the water, do whatever you want, 509 00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,480 Speaker 1: or just walk the other way back through suburbia, the 510 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 1: leafy streets. You know, do whatever you want, or listen 511 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:04,240 Speaker 1: to a book, or listen to a podcast, or make 512 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,639 Speaker 1: some phone calls. But the bottom line is, you know, 513 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,359 Speaker 1: for me that one, I mean, it's obviously it takes 514 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:14,800 Speaker 1: a little time, but it's such a simple change, and 515 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 1: honestly it's had a profound impact on everything from how 516 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,480 Speaker 1: I feel, to my work, to my productivity, to my 517 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,199 Speaker 1: moods everything. 518 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,399 Speaker 2: And see how powerful is that? 519 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,560 Speaker 3: You knowing that is always going to be more powerful 520 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 3: than reading a study saying that you know you should 521 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 3: do ten thousand steps, like that feedback that you've got 522 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,760 Speaker 3: for yourself. And I love those kind of things to 523 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 3: add into your lives where it's like the needle movers. 524 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,359 Speaker 3: You know, when people get so overwhelmed with all these 525 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:42,719 Speaker 3: different strategies, all these different tools that they can use, 526 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,919 Speaker 3: it was like, what, what's the things that we can 527 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 3: really focus on that are the needle movers? And I 528 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,880 Speaker 3: think walking is definitely one of those because of really 529 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,320 Speaker 3: how much mental and clarity it can give you, but 530 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 3: also like the physical benefits. But yeah, when our body 531 00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,240 Speaker 3: notices that it is amazing. And I think that's why 532 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,679 Speaker 3: we should always be doing these little tweets experiments with 533 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,679 Speaker 3: ourselves to be able to track those in because how 534 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,639 Speaker 3: would we know if we don't give ourselves a chance 535 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:10,159 Speaker 3: to try different things, Especially when you've noticed something, right, Hey, 536 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,440 Speaker 3: I'm not really moving as much, you know, I need 537 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,679 Speaker 3: to change that, Like, let me do something about it, 538 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 3: let me see how my body responds. 539 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,560 Speaker 1: And also I think, you know, like listening to you 540 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,480 Speaker 1: know when people say to you, oh, Sam, you know 541 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 1: what you should do, and then they proceed to tell 542 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:29,440 Speaker 1: you what they think you should do. Yeah, And while 543 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,440 Speaker 1: they might have good intentions, for the most part, people 544 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 1: don't know what you should do. No, I don't even 545 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,879 Speaker 1: know what they should do. Half the time when people 546 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,760 Speaker 1: go to me, hey, Harps, you know what you should do? 547 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,800 Speaker 1: I go, yes, I do. I just shut them down. 548 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 2: I think that that's You're right. 549 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,280 Speaker 3: It's kind of phosphating because like, no one knows your 550 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 3: unique secondstenss but you and I think there's definitely a 551 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,399 Speaker 3: time and the place for that, especially when you're searching France. 552 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,200 Speaker 3: It's talk to me for about what's worked for them. 553 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:56,919 Speaker 3: But I think a lot of the time, we just 554 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,639 Speaker 3: don't give ourselves that time to really think for ourselves 555 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,360 Speaker 3: because what you're doing, let me go try something, Let's 556 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:04,159 Speaker 3: see how my body responds. How do I feel in 557 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 3: my body throughout the day. Like, we just don't give 558 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,480 Speaker 3: ourselves enough time to check in with ourselves and get 559 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,199 Speaker 3: that feedback, and then we get frustrated when the therapist 560 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 3: doesn't give us ideas or the experts not being the 561 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,720 Speaker 3: expert that we expect them to be. And I think 562 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,960 Speaker 3: it's like we outsource our power. I mean, they're never 563 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,680 Speaker 3: going to know our lives like us anyway, so why 564 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 3: do we think that they hold the answers? 565 00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 1: You know, I was thinking about this and talking to 566 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:30,680 Speaker 1: somebody recently, like I've been doing I've been fitness, health, wellness, 567 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,720 Speaker 1: high performance for my whole life, with my holiday life 568 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 1: forty four years right, adult life that is so adeen 569 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:42,119 Speaker 1: to sixty two. And you know, people often say to 570 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 1: me something like, especially in a workshop or a seminar, 571 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,639 Speaker 1: like what are the three biggest factors you know? And 572 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:50,439 Speaker 1: you might go, ah, sleep or you know, diet or 573 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 1: this or that and you know or strength training or 574 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah, blah. This is what I think now. Now, 575 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 1: this is assuming that people in a relatively relatively comfortable 576 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,640 Speaker 1: space where they have access to food and safety, and 577 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 1: you know, like we you know, we're not living in 578 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:15,440 Speaker 1: some threat threatening environment or I think the biggest detriment 579 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,640 Speaker 1: to our health, the biggest thing that's fucking up people's 580 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:25,000 Speaker 1: health broadly mental, emotional, and physical health, is stress. And 581 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:28,720 Speaker 1: I think that, like, yeah, we talk about food, we 582 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,360 Speaker 1: talk about exercise, we talk about sleep, we talk about 583 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,719 Speaker 1: you know, mental health, and this is part of it, 584 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,000 Speaker 1: of course, and we talk about you know, boozs and drugs, 585 00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,600 Speaker 1: you know, all of these things. And I know stress 586 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 1: is not just a thing. It's a multitude of things. 587 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,760 Speaker 1: But our ability to get out of stress or that 588 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 1: stress state to be to access calm like it like 589 00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 1: we think we need. We think we need biceps and 590 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:58,120 Speaker 1: abs and lots of dough and a pretty face or 591 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 1: a handsome face or fucking whatever, you know, like a 592 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 1: brand and lots of followers. And we want those things. 593 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 1: And I'm not saying we shouldn't, but we don't need 594 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 1: those things. What we need is we fucking need calm. 595 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,280 Speaker 1: We need peace, We need that inner state. 596 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,440 Speaker 2: Of bliss like presence. 597 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,160 Speaker 1: Well I think about it, Yeah, the amount of people 598 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,760 Speaker 1: that you know and I know, and also maybe you 599 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,959 Speaker 1: and maybe me at times where like, fuck, it is 600 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,120 Speaker 1: just chaos in a bad way. And this is not 601 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,840 Speaker 1: you know, like I've had a couple of experiences this 602 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 1: week which I won't boy you with, but just where 603 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, the opposite of what we're 604 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 1: in right now is just bliss and calm. And of 605 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 1: course there's going to be stress and mayhem in life, 606 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,440 Speaker 1: but yeah, I think that the better that you can 607 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 1: manage that internal state, even if you are in something 608 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,239 Speaker 1: of a chaotic situation, to be able to be that, 609 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 1: you know, that equanimity, that calm in the chaos. I 610 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,720 Speaker 1: think it's almost the biggest determinant of health. 611 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 3: I think stress, you're right, is like the number one 612 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 3: killer mentally of off us all, especially when you think 613 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 3: about it. You know, being poor is stressful, but being 614 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 3: rich can be stressful too, like being at home can 615 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,840 Speaker 3: be stressful. Working is stressful, like our lives and not 616 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 3: inherently ever going to be stress free. And so, like 617 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 3: you said, our ability not just to manage it or 618 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,560 Speaker 3: even to remain calm, but to remain present, because I think. 619 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 2: Stress robs us off that. 620 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 3: You know, a lot of the time people think that 621 00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,760 Speaker 3: being opposite to being stressed is calm, but then we 622 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,800 Speaker 3: miss out on being present with joy and present with 623 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,240 Speaker 3: where we're actually at. Like, I don't see presence, it's 624 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:36,080 Speaker 3: just meditation. It's like, even despite our lives being super stressful, 625 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 3: are we able to carve out time for joy, for play, 626 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:45,479 Speaker 3: for pleasure, for our goals all of that kind of stuff. Yeah, 627 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 3: So I think that ability to be present with all 628 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,600 Speaker 3: the different states can be really hard, and that's when 629 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 3: people really struggle with stress. And then that's when they're 630 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,720 Speaker 3: probably tend to substances or things to kind of numb 631 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:57,640 Speaker 3: it because they're like, I just don't know what to 632 00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 3: do with all this energy. 633 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,640 Speaker 1: I used to say to my especially some of the 634 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:07,800 Speaker 1: do declients, my old dude grumpy business men clients, and 635 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 1: we talk about you know, health and wellness and work 636 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,360 Speaker 1: and all of the things. And I'd say, you know, 637 00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:17,720 Speaker 1: we talk about their business, talk about their business plan, 638 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,800 Speaker 1: their financial situation, their fucking property portfolio. They're this, they're that, 639 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,040 Speaker 1: and and they've got a plan for everything, got a 640 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 1: strategy for everything, plan for everything, but I wouldn't see 641 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,840 Speaker 1: any joy. Like with so many of them, there's fucking 642 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 1: no joy, there's no like you look in their eyes, 643 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 1: it's just darkness, there's no light. I'm like, oh, fuck, 644 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,520 Speaker 1: I know you're rich, I know you've got lots of stuff, 645 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,920 Speaker 1: but fuck, I'm glad I'm not you, because I just 646 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 1: like looking into the face of misery. And I'd say 647 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 1: to my guys, do you like having fun? And they'd 648 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,600 Speaker 1: look at me like, like, this is a fifty five 649 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: year old guy. They look at me like, well, why 650 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 1: are you asking me that? Where are we Like what 651 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 1: I'll go, it's just straight forward questions, you like fun? 652 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 1: Do you like having fun? And like, well, of course, 653 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,080 Speaker 1: I go cool, what's your fun plan? Like what's your 654 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 1: fund strategy? And the idea of doing things just for fun, 655 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,360 Speaker 1: just for the process, right, not to build a brand, 656 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:21,120 Speaker 1: not to get any strategic advantage, not to make more dough, 657 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 1: not to look good, not to none of that. Like, 658 00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,880 Speaker 1: just just do something because it puts you in a 659 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:34,960 Speaker 1: state that's fucking amazing, you know, and it just it 660 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 1: doesn't happen. I want to jump back to one thing 661 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,440 Speaker 1: you said, Like we're talking about stress, right, like, and 662 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:46,680 Speaker 1: I'm interested in your take on this. I have a theory, right, yea. 663 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: My theory is even some psychologists I don't want to 664 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:58,880 Speaker 1: get in trouble with this. Fucking okay, Okay, here's what 665 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:02,280 Speaker 1: I think people think. I think that all you know, like, oh, 666 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 1: this happened like they were in this situation and that's 667 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:10,920 Speaker 1: very stressful. And I'm like, okay, maybe let's break that down. Well, 668 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,880 Speaker 1: what about the other person that's in the same situation 669 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:18,080 Speaker 1: but is not stressed, right, yeah, So there's the thing 670 00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:23,160 Speaker 1: that happens, which we in our colloquial kind of observational language, 671 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 1: we go, oh my god, that is that is so stressful. 672 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 1: That's a describing word. That event, that situation, that outcome 673 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:34,200 Speaker 1: is stressful. But we know that some people in the 674 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 1: middle of that outcome or that event or that situation 675 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:42,880 Speaker 1: are not stressed. So then you might deduce doctor Sam 676 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:49,400 Speaker 1: that stress is an individual response created or facilitated by 677 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:55,480 Speaker 1: one's interpretation. I need their mind, right, I think. I 678 00:33:55,520 --> 00:34:00,440 Speaker 1: think while events and situations and circumstances certainly can simulate 679 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:05,600 Speaker 1: a stress response, they don't always stimulate a stress response. Obviously, 680 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:09,080 Speaker 1: because we see that with the divergence of responses from 681 00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:13,719 Speaker 1: not stressed to very stressed among individuals. I think it's 682 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:17,319 Speaker 1: the way that we process it that dictates our level 683 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:22,640 Speaker 1: of anxiety or stress, you know, or that physiological state 684 00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: that we get into. 685 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:25,760 Speaker 2: I think the way that we agree. 686 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:27,359 Speaker 3: I think the way that we process it, the way 687 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,120 Speaker 3: that we interpret it, but also the stories that we 688 00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,560 Speaker 3: attached to it about what that means for ourselves. 689 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:34,760 Speaker 2: So it's it's. 690 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:37,680 Speaker 3: Like, I don't know, like a breakup, right, A lot 691 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 3: of the time, you know, people are grieving a breakup, 692 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,840 Speaker 3: but not only are they grieving separating lives or someone, 693 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,000 Speaker 3: they have these stories about what that means for them 694 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,680 Speaker 3: or what has happened to them, right, or you know, 695 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,640 Speaker 3: they treated me this way because I'm like this, or 696 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:51,759 Speaker 3: I'm never going to find love. 697 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:53,879 Speaker 2: Like they've always got these stories attached and that's why 698 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 2: it's really. 699 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:58,040 Speaker 3: Stressful, because they've got a story about themselves around that 700 00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:01,160 Speaker 3: about really this empowering story. 701 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,960 Speaker 2: And I think that's. 702 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,160 Speaker 3: What's stressful about a lot of the situations, when we 703 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,120 Speaker 3: doubt our ability to handle it, when we think we 704 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:09,960 Speaker 3: can't ask for help, when we think it should be 705 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,239 Speaker 3: a certain way we should be managing it better or 706 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,439 Speaker 3: I shouldn't be able to be so impacted by it. 707 00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:18,040 Speaker 3: That's where the resistance lies within them stories versus like 708 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,759 Speaker 3: you said, it may be a stressful situation, but we 709 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,799 Speaker 3: can kind of process it and move forward with it 710 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,840 Speaker 3: because we don't have those yeah things holding us back. 711 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 1: Now, this opens another door. I know we've got to 712 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:32,799 Speaker 1: finish soon, but this opens another interesting door, which is 713 00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:37,080 Speaker 1: the metacognitive door, which is starting to get aware of, 714 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:41,480 Speaker 1: or be aware of, how you think and leaning into 715 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:45,440 Speaker 1: curiosity around oh, why do I think this? 716 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:46,400 Speaker 2: Like? 717 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:50,480 Speaker 1: Why is my story? Ah, this is a problem. And 718 00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,799 Speaker 1: Sam's in the same room with me, and her story is, oh, 719 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:59,319 Speaker 1: this is interesting, right, Where, Like I think, when you 720 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,879 Speaker 1: start to think about why do I respond this way? 721 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,759 Speaker 1: And we're not talking about self loathing, talking about self awareness, right, 722 00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:08,319 Speaker 1: but why do I respond this way? Why do I 723 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,440 Speaker 1: believe this thing? Where did this belief come from? Did 724 00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:15,719 Speaker 1: I choose this belief or this is this belief a 725 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:20,120 Speaker 1: byproduct of sociological osmosis. I just inherited it from the 726 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:25,480 Speaker 1: people that I'm around, Right, Where does this fear come from? 727 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,359 Speaker 1: What is this story? Where does this story come from? 728 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,279 Speaker 1: Why am I telling my like all of this is 729 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:36,520 Speaker 1: like self cognitive curiosity and investigation, where you go, oh, 730 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:41,239 Speaker 1: what actually is creating this response in me? This elevated 731 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,920 Speaker 1: heart rate, breathing, adrenaline, cortisol, sympathetic nervous system. What is 732 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,520 Speaker 1: creating this stress reaction is not the thing, but rather 733 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:52,040 Speaker 1: my story. Yes, And then once you start to lean 734 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:56,800 Speaker 1: into the story and understand the story, then I think, 735 00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,880 Speaker 1: definitely not easy, but it opens the door on be 736 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:01,680 Speaker 1: able to self regulate better. 737 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,920 Speaker 3: Oh, because then we can kind of really gain a 738 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,399 Speaker 3: bit more awareness. Okay, this is why I'm having this 739 00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:10,480 Speaker 3: really struggle reaction. It's not just to that event that happened. 740 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:12,440 Speaker 3: It's because of how I'm seeing the event. It's a 741 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,320 Speaker 3: story I'm saying about myself. Well, you notice these patterns 742 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,160 Speaker 3: of like why is it why do I always blame 743 00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:19,200 Speaker 3: myself for everything? Why does it always end up in 744 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,600 Speaker 3: me just being there's something inherently wrong with me? Like 745 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,279 Speaker 3: why do all my stories end up in that way? 746 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,080 Speaker 3: And I think if we can then see that pattern, 747 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,840 Speaker 3: we can start to rewire that within our brains. We 748 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,200 Speaker 3: can start to write a new story, one that's way 749 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 3: more empowering, one that doesn't you know, leave us feeling powerless, 750 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,920 Speaker 3: or leave us feeling like, yeah, it's just us and 751 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:38,880 Speaker 3: we can't change. 752 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,760 Speaker 1: I think a lot of those stories are driven by emotion. 753 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:45,399 Speaker 1: It's like, you know, how you can feel not good 754 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:48,879 Speaker 1: enough while simultaneously knowing that you are. 755 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:50,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know. 756 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,280 Speaker 1: It's like I can get up on stage to talk 757 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:57,160 Speaker 1: something that I've done literally thousands of times and have 758 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,400 Speaker 1: a level of fear and ans, which is kind of 759 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:06,800 Speaker 1: inappropriate and kind of doesn't make sense for somebody who's 760 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,359 Speaker 1: done the same thing thousands of times. And there might 761 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:15,719 Speaker 1: be this fear driven, low level kind of idea in 762 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:19,520 Speaker 1: my consciousness that like, this is the day you're going 763 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,799 Speaker 1: to fuck up. They'll hate you. You're actually not very 764 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:27,160 Speaker 1: good at this, You've just been lucky, right, while also 765 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:33,120 Speaker 1: intellectually going, well, here's the data, Craig. You've been doing 766 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,040 Speaker 1: this for forty years and you've done a lot of it, 767 00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:40,360 Speaker 1: and you're not terrible at it because you've got evidence. 768 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,919 Speaker 1: You've got evidence to say that. You know. It's like, oh, 769 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:46,080 Speaker 1: you've run a marathon. You've got evidence, you know. But 770 00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 1: at the same time, there's a voice going you could 771 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,840 Speaker 1: never run a marathon when you've actually run ten of 772 00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:51,880 Speaker 1: them exactly. 773 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,919 Speaker 3: There's a proof in the evidence right there. But also 774 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:55,480 Speaker 3: it seems like you've just got a bigger purpose, so 775 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:57,759 Speaker 3: you've got a meaning for that. You're like, I want 776 00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,919 Speaker 3: to contribute in this way. I've got something to share 777 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,640 Speaker 3: is the world. And I feel like when we're connected 778 00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,040 Speaker 3: to a bigger purpose like that, we don't then get 779 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:07,000 Speaker 3: caught up and do someone like me or to someone 780 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:08,400 Speaker 3: not like me? Are they happy with this talk? And 781 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:10,040 Speaker 3: they're not happy? You're like, I'm on a mission and 782 00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:12,279 Speaker 3: I'm here to serve and I've got something to share, 783 00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,080 Speaker 3: and so I feel like that if that's your why, right, 784 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,480 Speaker 3: that's what will keep us going despite the little ups 785 00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,520 Speaker 3: and downs of the emotional side of things. 786 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,480 Speaker 1: And I think also going, oh I'm scared and that's. 787 00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,200 Speaker 2: All right, or I'm I'll do it anyway. 788 00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna overthinker, that's all right, Which is where 789 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,279 Speaker 1: we started with a big bit fucked a lot of 790 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,280 Speaker 1: human We've done the full circle. 791 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,120 Speaker 2: Right, we have, Yeah, feel the fair in it. Anyway. 792 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:39,080 Speaker 1: It's always good to talk to you. How do people 793 00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:40,600 Speaker 1: connect with you? 794 00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:44,120 Speaker 3: You can find me on Instagram at doctor sam Casey, 795 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:48,759 Speaker 3: or my website which is www dot Dotor, Samcasey dot 796 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:50,320 Speaker 3: com your ice. 797 00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:51,600 Speaker 1: I'll see you in a month or so. 798 00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:53,160 Speaker 2: Great Thanks, CAG