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Speaker 1: Appogie production an easier advice. Are you okay? What happened?

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Speaker 1: Promise it won't be too much? Bring it in.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to our Bestie Segment. This is the place for you.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back to another episode of our Bestie Segment with

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Speaker 3: Ashley and Tiana.

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Speaker 2: We have got a very interesting one today.

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Speaker 1: I think it's gonna be short one because I don't

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Speaker 1: think we're gonna have a lot of advice. Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: don't know if we can relate to me no, So

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Speaker 1: I'll just read it out. It's very short. Also, when

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Speaker 1: you guys write in your submissions one, we really appreciate

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Speaker 1: it too. The more context you can give us, the

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Speaker 1: more advice we can give you. When there's not much context,

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Speaker 1: it makes it harder for us because we kind of

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Speaker 1: have to assume different things to extend on the advice. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: I'll take it away. What do you do when your

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Speaker 1: best friend becomes too much? She calls too much and

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Speaker 1: texts NonStop, needs to know who I'm with, what I'm

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Speaker 1: doing each day, kind of like an obsessed boyfriend. How

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Speaker 1: do you slowly back away without ending the friendship completely?

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Speaker 1: Now I can't relate. You just described our friendship. We

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Speaker 1: literally say that, Dyson, you said it to me last night.

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Speaker 1: You're like, I'm like an annoying boyfriend. No annoying ex

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Speaker 1: boyfriends ex boyfriend. I was like, I love it. Ya.

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Speaker 1: We love being super connected and we talk all the time,

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Speaker 1: but we both also have really beautiful friendships with girls

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Speaker 1: that we don't see often. Like I don't see Shares

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Speaker 1: very much, but she has been one of my best

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Speaker 1: friends since I was fifteen, and I still feel super

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Speaker 1: connected with her and when we talk, when we catch up,

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Speaker 1: it's like nothing has changed. But we don't need to

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Speaker 1: talk all the time. We don't talk all the time,

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Speaker 1: and we live quite separate lives because she lives like

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Speaker 1: far away from me, of course. And then there's you

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Speaker 1: and I who are super close and we talk every

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Speaker 1: single day, and if we don't, it's like almost weird,

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Speaker 1: like are you okay, you're alive? What are you doing?

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Speaker 1: Who are you with?

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Speaker 2: So I'm like, if you did not text me for

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Speaker 2: twenty four hours?

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Speaker 1: Like literally yeah, we genuinely like are you alive? Like

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Speaker 1: check your location?

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Speaker 2: That actually has happened, Like we have our locations of

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Speaker 2: each other.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, are you calling me one time and be like, oh, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I didn't hear from you last night.

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Speaker 1: Yes, literally, But I do think some people don't value

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Speaker 1: friendship as much. Yeah, Like I know for Steve, like,

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Speaker 1: of course he values friendship, but nowhere near as much

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Speaker 1: as what I value it. He would like rather work

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Speaker 1: or be with his kids or just be by himself.

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Speaker 1: Whereas I love friendship. It it is so important to me.

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Speaker 1: It always has been, it always will be. It's a

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Speaker 1: source of fun, connection, variety, like different friends for different reasons.

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Speaker 1: You're looking at me, you have different friends.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh you do what other friends?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love sisterhood. I just think it's so beautiful

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Speaker 1: and I need girlfriends in my life, something I will

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Speaker 1: never not put as a priority. So maybe you're just

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Speaker 1: someone who it does feel a bit much and that's okay.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I don't know if this is true, but if

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Speaker 3: you want to submit something else again and let us

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Speaker 3: know this. But when it's not reciprocated, like maybe for her,

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Speaker 3: it feels like she's more invested in the friendship than

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Speaker 3: what you are. Yeah, so maybe there's like an imbalance

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Speaker 3: in the friendship, do you know what I mean? Like you,

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Speaker 3: I do balance where it's like maybe you're not as

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Speaker 3: emotionally invested in the friendship. Maybe you don't have that

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Speaker 3: sense of closeness safety connection with her as she does

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Speaker 3: with you.

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Speaker 2: Then I can understand.

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Speaker 1: I've actually had a friend like this. I've just thought

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Speaker 1: of something. Yeah, I did have a friend that I

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Speaker 1: actually had to cut out because she was very full on.

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Speaker 1: But I almost felt it was from an energy of codependence. Yes, okay,

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Speaker 1: and she could not be alone, and I almost felt

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Speaker 1: like it started to go into this big sister, little

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Speaker 1: sister role of her needing me. Yeah okay for everything

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Speaker 1: and anything. But it was also a lot of not negativity,

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Speaker 1: but she was just going through a lot, and of

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Speaker 1: course I was there for her, but I did feel

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Speaker 1: a little bit suffocated.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't playful and fun. It was always i don't know, like, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she really was very codependent on me and it felt

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Speaker 1: a lot and I did had to pull away and

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Speaker 1: that didn't work, so I actually had to end the friendship. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I just said that this wasn't aligning for me, and

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Speaker 1: it wasn't. I can't remember exactly what I said, but

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Speaker 1: I just said it wasn't feeling good for me anymore,

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Speaker 1: and I felt like I did her a favor because

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Speaker 1: I really felt like she needed spend some time by herself,

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Speaker 1: not being so reliant on me, And because my personality

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Speaker 1: is quite I love to save people. I love to

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Speaker 1: help people. I love if I've got any anyway I

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Speaker 1: can help someone with that's financially, emotionally, showing up for

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Speaker 1: them energetically, like, I will do it. I've always been

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Speaker 1: like that, but it started to take a toll on me. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: so yeah I ended that friendship. So I have had

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Speaker 1: that because I kind of do understand where you're coming from.

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Speaker 1: So maybe she's just not someone that you're wanting to

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Speaker 1: be super close with and you could just like slowly

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Speaker 1: tape her off. But how do you do that? That's

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Speaker 1: a hard one. Do you have an honest conversation or

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Speaker 1: do you just stop replying to everything that wouldn't feel

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Speaker 1: very nice to me?

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Speaker 2: I think it just depends, like how deep the connection

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Speaker 2: is already.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how you kind of gauge, you know, It's like,

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Speaker 3: is it worth having a conversation of being like, hey,

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Speaker 3: this is where I'm at in the friendship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what would feel good for me?

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Speaker 1: Is this yes?

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Speaker 3: Or is it something that's just like actually just not

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Speaker 3: an aligned friendship for you, where you're like, oh, I

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Speaker 3: just don't have the time, space, capacity and energy to

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Speaker 3: invest in this friendship in the way that she deserves

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Speaker 3: to have someone invest.

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Speaker 1: She's saying, I don't want to end the friendship completely though,

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Speaker 1: so she's still wanting her you know, life. So maybe

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Speaker 1: is it that honest conversation of like, I am feeling like,

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Speaker 1: you know, you're coming to me for everything, and maybe

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Speaker 1: are you co dependent on me or in requiring more

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Speaker 1: of me? Like I don't think I can give any

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Speaker 1: more than what I'm giving. Yeah, And I don't want

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Speaker 1: to resent this friendship and I don't want them to

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Speaker 1: be any icky energy. But I do feel like it's

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Speaker 1: a lot for me right now because I have other

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Speaker 1: friends and work and a family or whatever things going on. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like could we schedule in a walk once a week

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Speaker 1: and you know, catch up other things, But I can't

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Speaker 1: be doing it every single day. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't know.

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Speaker 3: And then the you know, feeling obsessive like a partner

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Speaker 3: or something like that. You know, is it that she's

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Speaker 3: just anxious and maybe she has her stuff coming up

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Speaker 3: in the friendship where when you're not there, she's super

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Speaker 3: anxious and super maybe has the fear of abandonment and

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Speaker 3: all those sorts of that's sorts of conversation. You can

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Speaker 3: open up with her, be like, hey, like do you

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Speaker 3: feel fully safe in our friendship?

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Speaker 2: Do you feel secure? Like is anything computing not for you?

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Speaker 3: You know, and just check in with her as well,

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Speaker 3: because I think that conversation might soothe.

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Speaker 2: Her if it is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so true.

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Speaker 3: Bring safety to the friendship so she knows that she

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Speaker 3: can actually bring in the stuff that's coming up for

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Speaker 3: her instead of acting out in a really anxious way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because there's healthy obsession, like when Steve's like obsessed

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Speaker 1: with me, I love it. You know, you can feel

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Speaker 1: it energetically when it's like more that codependent neediness or

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Speaker 1: it's obsessed with like I just love you so much

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Speaker 1: and I just have the best time with you. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you know, I think you can feel it. So you're

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Speaker 1: obviously feeling that neediness and like desperation from her wanting

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Speaker 1: more from you. Yeah, but it's a hard conversation to have,

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Speaker 1: And I wonder if you'd feel different if it was

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Speaker 1: a different person.

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Speaker 2: I feel, yes, I feel yes, because when.

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Speaker 1: I did from that old friendship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I've.

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Speaker 3: Definitely had friendships like that too, where I've been the

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Speaker 3: more anxious one and when I've been the one who's

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Speaker 3: leant out. Yeah, So I can understand the dynamic. But

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Speaker 3: then when I'm also fully invested in a friendship where

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Speaker 3: it's like absolutely one hundred bright or die, Yeah, right

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Speaker 3: or die, it's a completely different energy. None of that

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Speaker 3: stuff even comes up. So I just wonder if it's

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Speaker 3: maybe just a misalignment or something.

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Speaker 1: I think so sounds like it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with that either.

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Speaker 3: Mean anything about this other woman doesn't mean anything about you.

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Speaker 3: It's just maybe just like the same length.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly right. But give us an update. Let

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Speaker 1: us know what you're going to do with this, what

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Speaker 1: kind of conversation you have.

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Speaker 3: Otherwise you'll be more than happy for them to be

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Speaker 3: obsessed like a boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Literally, we love it like we love it. That's

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Speaker 1: so funny. But yeah, give us an update, let us

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Speaker 1: know how you go and sending you else to love. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: brave enough to have a hard conversation. You've got this

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Speaker 1: hard conversations. It's the year of it. It's a year

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Speaker 1: of hard conversation. Yes you got this girlfriend. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: joining us. Guys, We'll see in the next episode. Bye bye,