1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Apologie production. 2 00:00:10,561 --> 00:00:12,681 Speaker 2: I need your advice. Are you okay? 3 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:13,401 Speaker 1: What happened? 4 00:00:14,001 --> 00:00:16,641 Speaker 2: Promise it won't be too much. Bring it in. 5 00:00:17,921 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 3: Welcome to our Bestie Segment. 6 00:00:25,201 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 2: This is the place for you. 7 00:00:27,081 --> 00:00:30,481 Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever you're listening to this. 8 00:00:30,601 --> 00:00:33,161 Speaker 1: Welcome to our Bestie segment, where you guys send it 9 00:00:33,161 --> 00:00:36,041 Speaker 1: in your anonymous submissions about a sticky situation that you 10 00:00:36,081 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 1: want some bestI advice. 11 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,240 Speaker 2: And we're sitting on a cute. 12 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:42,001 Speaker 1: White cat, Tiana, and this is unfiltered. It's raw, honest 13 00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:43,721 Speaker 1: advice that we would give each other if we were 14 00:00:43,721 --> 00:00:47,480 Speaker 1: in your exact position. Absolutely so, buckle in, Tiana, take 15 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:48,761 Speaker 1: it away. What's today's submission? 16 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 2: Let's go. 17 00:00:49,961 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 3: I'm after some bestI advice. My mom passed away from 18 00:00:52,801 --> 00:00:55,721 Speaker 3: cancer in March this year. She was fifty nine. I'm 19 00:00:55,721 --> 00:00:58,121 Speaker 3: twenty nine. I have a twenty three month old and 20 00:00:58,161 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 3: an amazing supportive husband and my dream job. Before she 21 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:04,001 Speaker 3: passed away, I had things I wanted to achieve, and 22 00:01:04,081 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 3: now I feel lost. The one thing that I truly 23 00:01:06,881 --> 00:01:08,761 Speaker 3: want is to have her back, but I know that 24 00:01:08,761 --> 00:01:11,761 Speaker 3: that's not possible. I guess my question is how do 25 00:01:11,801 --> 00:01:14,761 Speaker 3: I find myself again? My world stopped and I'm learning 26 00:01:14,761 --> 00:01:17,641 Speaker 3: to exist without her. And for more context, my mum 27 00:01:17,681 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 3: got diagnosed with stage four lung cancer in late twenty twenty. 28 00:01:21,121 --> 00:01:23,801 Speaker 3: She never smoked, drank, and always looked after her body 29 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,041 Speaker 3: and lived a healthy lifestyle. 30 00:01:25,121 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 2: So unfair. 31 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,161 Speaker 3: In January of this year, she was told the treatment 32 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,561 Speaker 3: no longer worked and it was spreading. They tried radiation, 33 00:01:30,681 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 3: but she just got sicker. We only got around eight 34 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,801 Speaker 3: weeks from her appointment in January, and we were expecting 35 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 3: at least another year. My heart breaks for my son 36 00:01:38,721 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 3: as you only got to know his nana for such 37 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,041 Speaker 3: a short time. 38 00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:43,241 Speaker 2: Oh oh, I'm so sorry. 39 00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:47,641 Speaker 1: I am so sorry you spoke about this last week 40 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,761 Speaker 1: because I didn't have a massive family, so the thought 41 00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:51,561 Speaker 1: of losing my mum, like, I can't even begin to 42 00:01:51,601 --> 00:01:53,241 Speaker 1: imagine the pain that you're under right now. 43 00:01:54,041 --> 00:01:55,441 Speaker 2: That is absolutely awful. 44 00:01:55,841 --> 00:01:59,241 Speaker 1: With grief, I just don't think it's something that ever 45 00:01:59,321 --> 00:02:00,081 Speaker 1: goes away. 46 00:02:00,281 --> 00:02:01,441 Speaker 2: You just get better at. 47 00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:04,961 Speaker 1: Managing it, because unfortunately, like life goes on you're a mum, 48 00:02:05,121 --> 00:02:07,881 Speaker 1: it doesn't stop. I mean, first of all, I would 49 00:02:07,921 --> 00:02:12,121 Speaker 1: recommend following someone like Megsie who speaks about grief often. Now, yeah, 50 00:02:12,161 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 1: if you don't know who Megsie is. She's one of 51 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,081 Speaker 1: my closest best friends and she lost her son this year. 52 00:02:16,161 --> 00:02:19,241 Speaker 1: He was only one, And she speaks about grief and 53 00:02:19,281 --> 00:02:21,680 Speaker 1: her journey and she's sharing it as she goes alongs 54 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: and all the things that have helped her stay connected 55 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: to Rambo and helped her get through each day, and 56 00:02:26,721 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: not once had she tried to suppress or park any. 57 00:02:29,481 --> 00:02:30,001 Speaker 2: Of the grief. 58 00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:32,681 Speaker 1: She just allows it all to be there and honors 59 00:02:32,721 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 1: all of it. And I'm in such awe of how 60 00:02:35,881 --> 00:02:38,881 Speaker 1: she's working through this, navigating this. I would definitely recommend 61 00:02:38,921 --> 00:02:42,761 Speaker 1: following her just Megsie Ann on Instagram. I know that 62 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: she's also looked at different support groups on Facebook. She's 63 00:02:45,481 --> 00:02:49,281 Speaker 1: read oh He's books, ten different grief books. One's about 64 00:02:49,321 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 1: how the brain processes and different beliefs around what happens 65 00:02:52,281 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 1: when people pass through and how to connect with them, 66 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:57,601 Speaker 1: and she said that has been an absolute lifeline and 67 00:02:57,881 --> 00:03:00,761 Speaker 1: sharing her journey online as well. So yeah, I don't 68 00:03:00,761 --> 00:03:02,841 Speaker 1: think this is something that you can push away. I 69 00:03:02,881 --> 00:03:05,561 Speaker 1: think it's something you really need to feel through and 70 00:03:05,641 --> 00:03:08,441 Speaker 1: just allow to be there because it's so real. Before 71 00:03:08,481 --> 00:03:11,041 Speaker 1: she missed her, of course you want her back and 72 00:03:11,121 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 1: something with makes you two that I really have learned 73 00:03:13,161 --> 00:03:16,281 Speaker 1: from her and love witnessing her in is just because 74 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:19,081 Speaker 1: she's grieving and she's deep in it, it doesn't mean 75 00:03:19,121 --> 00:03:23,041 Speaker 1: she also doesn't have access to pleasure, joy, play, laughter, 76 00:03:23,561 --> 00:03:25,921 Speaker 1: all the things. Yes, and she's living proof that you 77 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:29,281 Speaker 1: can have all of that whils still experiencing the pain 78 00:03:29,321 --> 00:03:32,201 Speaker 1: and the depth of what grief is. So I just 79 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:36,001 Speaker 1: think more acceptance for where you're at, how you're feeling 80 00:03:36,081 --> 00:03:38,521 Speaker 1: each and every day, no expectations on what it's going 81 00:03:38,561 --> 00:03:41,001 Speaker 1: to look like tomorrow or the next day. Don't try 82 00:03:41,001 --> 00:03:43,561 Speaker 1: and wash it like push it away, but know that 83 00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:46,241 Speaker 1: you also have power and control to access to other 84 00:03:46,281 --> 00:03:49,441 Speaker 1: parts of life, which makes life feel lighter and more 85 00:03:49,481 --> 00:03:51,641 Speaker 1: beautiful what your mum would want you to experience with 86 00:03:51,681 --> 00:03:52,121 Speaker 1: your son. 87 00:03:52,401 --> 00:03:55,801 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, grief is such a it's not a linear process. 88 00:03:56,001 --> 00:03:56,201 Speaker 1: You know. 89 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,441 Speaker 3: It's something that is going to pop up in the 90 00:03:58,441 --> 00:04:02,641 Speaker 3: most random times, and unfortunately it is things like smells 91 00:04:02,761 --> 00:04:06,481 Speaker 3: or photos or song song, rainbow memories that put in 92 00:04:06,481 --> 00:04:08,601 Speaker 3: your mind that kind of just like put you on 93 00:04:08,641 --> 00:04:11,241 Speaker 3: your arse and then you have a moment of intense grief. 94 00:04:11,281 --> 00:04:13,881 Speaker 3: But that's the journey of grief is like, you've got 95 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:16,121 Speaker 3: to be able to be fluid with the grief, and 96 00:04:16,241 --> 00:04:18,801 Speaker 3: yes it feels heavy, you've got to be willing to 97 00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:20,881 Speaker 3: sit in it. And even something that I saw Megsie 98 00:04:20,921 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 3: posts the other day was that she has allocated grief days, 99 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,921 Speaker 3: like if she feels like today's going to be heavy, 100 00:04:27,281 --> 00:04:29,801 Speaker 3: she just allows herself to sit in it. And even 101 00:04:29,841 --> 00:04:32,361 Speaker 3: in my own experience, that's something that I do too, 102 00:04:32,721 --> 00:04:34,681 Speaker 3: Like one of my friends, Lucy, she passed away a 103 00:04:34,681 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 3: couple of months ago, and in that journey of grief, 104 00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 3: just allowing myself to feel sad when I feel sad, 105 00:04:40,841 --> 00:04:43,601 Speaker 3: or cry or miss her or love on her, and 106 00:04:44,081 --> 00:04:46,321 Speaker 3: feel all of the feelings that come with grief. Of 107 00:04:46,361 --> 00:04:48,001 Speaker 3: like she was twenty seven years old. It was so 108 00:04:48,161 --> 00:04:50,241 Speaker 3: unfair and she shouldn't have passed, and she had such 109 00:04:50,241 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 3: a long life ahead of her, and allowing all of 110 00:04:53,601 --> 00:04:56,881 Speaker 3: those emotions to come forward, Like, if you can create 111 00:04:56,961 --> 00:04:59,801 Speaker 3: space for all of those things to come forward, it 112 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:03,721 Speaker 3: will help heal your heart and mend in the best 113 00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 3: way that it can that you can, that you deserve to. 114 00:05:08,081 --> 00:05:09,761 Speaker 3: And I feel like it's just one of those things 115 00:05:09,801 --> 00:05:12,481 Speaker 3: where it will always stay with you, you know, but 116 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,801 Speaker 3: it doesn't take away that the love that you have 117 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,681 Speaker 3: for them. And I think when you just allow space 118 00:05:17,721 --> 00:05:20,161 Speaker 3: for the grief to be there, you allow yourself to 119 00:05:20,241 --> 00:05:23,281 Speaker 3: process it better. So it's not that it feels any 120 00:05:23,361 --> 00:05:25,521 Speaker 3: less heavy. I think you just get better with dealing 121 00:05:25,561 --> 00:05:28,321 Speaker 3: with it and holding it and still choosing to live 122 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,601 Speaker 3: your life. And even if it's not for you, live 123 00:05:31,641 --> 00:05:32,361 Speaker 3: for them too. 124 00:05:33,081 --> 00:05:34,241 Speaker 2: They would want to see you happy. 125 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,121 Speaker 1: Yeah. Another thing that I've learned from Megsy two is 126 00:05:37,561 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: because obviously she wants to stay is connected to Rambo 127 00:05:40,041 --> 00:05:41,321 Speaker 1: as you can, and I'm sure you want to stay 128 00:05:41,361 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: as connected to your mum as you can. She finds 129 00:05:44,041 --> 00:05:47,001 Speaker 1: when she's really busy or there's lots of people around 130 00:05:47,041 --> 00:05:50,121 Speaker 1: and she's doing lots of things, that's when she feels disconnected. 131 00:05:50,161 --> 00:05:53,121 Speaker 1: But when it's when she stops, slows, sits in the sun, 132 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:57,721 Speaker 1: breathe connects with herself and she allows that to come in, 133 00:05:57,761 --> 00:05:59,681 Speaker 1: that's when she feels most connected to Rambo. So there's 134 00:05:59,681 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: a lot of time spent in nature, Like every single 135 00:06:01,921 --> 00:06:03,760 Speaker 1: morning she's down at the beach, that's when she feels 136 00:06:03,761 --> 00:06:05,401 Speaker 1: most connected with him. And so she said to day 137 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 1: with that every single day it's like the sun's on 138 00:06:07,521 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: her skin, she can see the raisin, the sky, the ocean. 139 00:06:09,801 --> 00:06:12,161 Speaker 1: She's like, he's here with me, and that carries in 140 00:06:12,201 --> 00:06:14,521 Speaker 1: throughout her day. So I would be getting out of 141 00:06:14,601 --> 00:06:16,881 Speaker 1: nature and just finding different rituals and different things that 142 00:06:16,961 --> 00:06:18,721 Speaker 1: you can do that make you feel connected with her, 143 00:06:19,121 --> 00:06:22,720 Speaker 1: and just keeping that connection there and anyone that speaks 144 00:06:22,761 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: to makes you that's so real for her, He's there 145 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:29,361 Speaker 1: with her, like not physically obviously, but emotionally spiritually, like 146 00:06:29,401 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 1: they're together. So it's just been really inspiring to see that. 147 00:06:33,801 --> 00:06:35,401 Speaker 1: And I know when I go through losing my mum 148 00:06:35,401 --> 00:06:38,281 Speaker 1: one day, because obviously that will happen, that will be 149 00:06:38,401 --> 00:06:40,361 Speaker 1: what I'll be turning to. It's like different tools to 150 00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:45,281 Speaker 1: help me through that. But honestly, if none of this helps, 151 00:06:45,281 --> 00:06:47,241 Speaker 1: and if none of this makes you feel any better, 152 00:06:47,721 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: I don't blame you or judge you for it. What 153 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,241 Speaker 1: you're going through the pain. I feel like when you're 154 00:06:51,281 --> 00:06:55,281 Speaker 1: going through grief, nothing anyone says can help, because it's 155 00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 1: like I just want my fucking mum back. I just 156 00:06:57,481 --> 00:07:00,241 Speaker 1: want them back, like nothing helps, you know, And that's 157 00:07:00,281 --> 00:07:01,081 Speaker 1: okay as well. 158 00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 3: Sometimes you just need to be held and you know 159 00:07:03,361 --> 00:07:07,041 Speaker 3: what give yourself permission and grace in this journey that 160 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,361 Speaker 3: you felt like you had a lot of direction before 161 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,441 Speaker 3: and you feel lost. 162 00:07:10,241 --> 00:07:10,681 Speaker 2: In that now. 163 00:07:10,841 --> 00:07:12,681 Speaker 3: Yea, Like you don't no more, you don't need to 164 00:07:12,761 --> 00:07:16,081 Speaker 3: quotations get back on track, Like let yourself go through 165 00:07:16,081 --> 00:07:18,441 Speaker 3: this season of your life where she feels a little 166 00:07:18,441 --> 00:07:22,001 Speaker 3: harder than normal, because the reality is like your mundane 167 00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:25,641 Speaker 3: tasks are gonna feel ten times heavier when you're holding grief. 168 00:07:26,121 --> 00:07:27,841 Speaker 3: Brushing your teeth in the morning feels hard. 169 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,121 Speaker 2: I be bothered. You don't want to. 170 00:07:29,161 --> 00:07:31,241 Speaker 3: Getting out of bed in the morning feels like the 171 00:07:31,281 --> 00:07:32,081 Speaker 3: hardest challenge that. 172 00:07:32,081 --> 00:07:34,041 Speaker 2: You are looking after a twenty three month old. 173 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:36,441 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, and still having to mum and show up 174 00:07:36,481 --> 00:07:39,681 Speaker 3: and be consistent and park your grief. So be kind 175 00:07:39,721 --> 00:07:43,161 Speaker 3: to yourself in this season that things are just heavier 176 00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,201 Speaker 3: this season, and just know that it will be a 177 00:07:45,241 --> 00:07:48,241 Speaker 3: season and it won't feel as heavy. And even if 178 00:07:48,281 --> 00:07:49,641 Speaker 3: it does, that's also okay. 179 00:07:49,361 --> 00:07:51,481 Speaker 1: To yeah, you know, gloud to come up when it 180 00:07:51,481 --> 00:07:52,641 Speaker 1: comes up, allow it to come up. 181 00:07:52,721 --> 00:07:54,481 Speaker 2: You will have lighted days. You will have laughter and 182 00:07:54,481 --> 00:07:56,601 Speaker 2: pleasure and plague. And I know that because I'm witnessing 183 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,241 Speaker 2: it with magazines. 184 00:07:57,321 --> 00:07:59,441 Speaker 3: I know you will too, and you'll also bounce between 185 00:07:59,481 --> 00:08:01,441 Speaker 3: the days where you're so appreciative for all of the 186 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,481 Speaker 3: time that you did get to spend with her, and 187 00:08:03,521 --> 00:08:06,081 Speaker 3: how loved she made you feel at your mom, and 188 00:08:06,121 --> 00:08:08,161 Speaker 3: how good it felt to be her daughter. 189 00:08:08,481 --> 00:08:10,401 Speaker 1: You know, and what you guys did have the last 190 00:08:10,561 --> 00:08:12,401 Speaker 1: I think everyone gets to experience the. 191 00:08:12,481 --> 00:08:16,001 Speaker 3: Laughter, the memories, the photos, love, the memories, all of it. 192 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,881 Speaker 3: So yeah, there will be hard days, but there will 193 00:08:17,921 --> 00:08:20,161 Speaker 3: also be good days where you think of those things too, 194 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,721 Speaker 3: and that's something that you get to cherish and hold 195 00:08:22,761 --> 00:08:26,361 Speaker 3: on to forever. We see you in this. 196 00:08:26,441 --> 00:08:28,961 Speaker 2: It's sending you so much love. I know I would 197 00:08:29,001 --> 00:08:31,081 Speaker 2: need a big fucking hug when I go through. 198 00:08:30,921 --> 00:08:32,641 Speaker 3: That, and you know what, maybe that can be some 199 00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,841 Speaker 3: I don't know if physical touches your a love language 200 00:08:34,841 --> 00:08:36,801 Speaker 3: of yours, but I feel like for me when I'm 201 00:08:36,801 --> 00:08:38,521 Speaker 3: going through stuff, all I want to do is be held. 202 00:08:38,801 --> 00:08:39,961 Speaker 3: I just want to be held, and I just want 203 00:08:39,961 --> 00:08:41,281 Speaker 3: to cry, and I want to know that it's safe 204 00:08:41,281 --> 00:08:44,001 Speaker 3: for me to break down. Because if you're a mom, 205 00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:45,601 Speaker 3: and you are, you have to be. 206 00:08:45,561 --> 00:08:46,801 Speaker 2: The strong one for everyone else. 207 00:08:47,161 --> 00:08:50,121 Speaker 3: So when do you actually give yourself permission or have 208 00:08:50,201 --> 00:08:52,001 Speaker 3: time for you to be the one who gets to 209 00:08:52,041 --> 00:08:53,401 Speaker 3: break all the way down. 210 00:08:53,321 --> 00:08:54,241 Speaker 2: So hard with kids. 211 00:08:54,281 --> 00:08:56,761 Speaker 1: I know when Rambo first passed, it was like every 212 00:08:56,761 --> 00:08:58,681 Speaker 1: single night when everyone went to bed, I or just 213 00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:00,161 Speaker 1: like go and a room by myself and light a 214 00:09:00,201 --> 00:09:01,121 Speaker 1: candle and just cry. 215 00:09:01,281 --> 00:09:03,561 Speaker 2: Actually that's a lie, Taco was with me. Yeah, it 216 00:09:05,201 --> 00:09:05,721 Speaker 2: just poor on me. 217 00:09:05,761 --> 00:09:08,201 Speaker 1: But just like carving out a time where when you 218 00:09:08,201 --> 00:09:09,961 Speaker 1: put your baby to bed, you've actually got that time 219 00:09:09,961 --> 00:09:12,761 Speaker 1: to just be with yourself, because I know I definitely 220 00:09:12,921 --> 00:09:14,761 Speaker 1: I parked my grief because. 221 00:09:14,561 --> 00:09:15,761 Speaker 2: I had to continue to work. 222 00:09:15,761 --> 00:09:17,281 Speaker 1: I had to continue to show up for the podcast 223 00:09:17,361 --> 00:09:20,041 Speaker 1: and be on camera, and two kids that need me 224 00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:22,721 Speaker 1: and didn't understand what I was going through and we're 225 00:09:22,761 --> 00:09:24,161 Speaker 1: wondering why I was crying all the time. 226 00:09:24,201 --> 00:09:26,241 Speaker 2: And it was hard. It's really hard. So I feel 227 00:09:26,241 --> 00:09:26,521 Speaker 2: you in that. 228 00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:28,881 Speaker 1: I see you in that. So just allocating some time 229 00:09:28,921 --> 00:09:31,201 Speaker 1: where you can actually just sit in it will be 230 00:09:31,241 --> 00:09:35,961 Speaker 1: really helpful as well. Yeah, beautiful setting you so much love, 231 00:09:36,761 --> 00:09:38,561 Speaker 1: lots and lots of love, and yeah, if you're writing in, 232 00:09:38,841 --> 00:09:41,001 Speaker 1: we really appreciate it. And if you need anything, just 233 00:09:41,001 --> 00:09:43,601 Speaker 1: send us a message. Yeah, thank you for joining us, 234 00:09:43,641 --> 00:09:45,441 Speaker 1: and if you have any submissions that you'd like to 235 00:09:45,441 --> 00:09:48,241 Speaker 1: pop in. The link is in the description box below. 236 00:09:48,281 --> 00:09:53,881 Speaker 1: It can be any sticky situation around grief, sadness, relationships, friendships, career, advice, 237 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,721 Speaker 1: like literally anything that you're like, I just wish I 238 00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,641 Speaker 1: had a best friend I could talk to. We've had 239 00:09:57,641 --> 00:09:59,161 Speaker 1: stories even that have come in there where they don't 240 00:09:59,161 --> 00:10:01,681 Speaker 1: want to tell their friends because it's really private and 241 00:10:01,721 --> 00:10:04,081 Speaker 1: affects their relationship and they're all in the same circles. 242 00:10:04,121 --> 00:10:07,521 Speaker 1: They're having someone outside your circle something yet is really helpful, 243 00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:08,321 Speaker 1: and we can be that for you. 244 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,441 Speaker 3: And sometimes just writing it out goes such a long way. 245 00:10:11,921 --> 00:10:14,801 Speaker 3: Clarity hair, Yeah, absolutely, and it almost feels like a 246 00:10:14,841 --> 00:10:16,561 Speaker 3: bit of a brain dump and getting it off your 247 00:10:16,641 --> 00:10:18,561 Speaker 3: chest and out of your head, and I think that 248 00:10:18,681 --> 00:10:21,161 Speaker 3: helps it stop swirling around in your head so much. 249 00:10:21,241 --> 00:10:24,121 Speaker 1: It does. And having an outside perspective too, because maybe 250 00:10:24,161 --> 00:10:26,521 Speaker 1: you have gone to friends but the advice or it 251 00:10:26,641 --> 00:10:28,321 Speaker 1: just hasn't landed for you yet. You know, when you 252 00:10:28,321 --> 00:10:30,001 Speaker 1: hear something for someone else and they've just explained it 253 00:10:30,001 --> 00:10:32,841 Speaker 1: in a language that your brain understands, like, Wow, haven't 254 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:33,201 Speaker 1: heard it. 255 00:10:33,161 --> 00:10:33,681 Speaker 2: Like that before. 256 00:10:33,721 --> 00:10:36,361 Speaker 1: That's super helpful. Yeah, something we could say could just 257 00:10:36,441 --> 00:10:38,281 Speaker 1: land for you in the right time, at the right moment. 258 00:10:38,801 --> 00:10:39,801 Speaker 1: We hope it does anyway. 259 00:10:40,121 --> 00:10:42,041 Speaker 3: One last thing I wanted to say to this beautiful 260 00:10:42,081 --> 00:10:45,921 Speaker 3: submissioner is that don't make your grief wrong. M don't 261 00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:49,161 Speaker 3: make it wrong, don't judge it, don't shame yourself. I 262 00:10:49,161 --> 00:10:51,121 Speaker 3: know you get frustrated and you get angry because you 263 00:10:51,161 --> 00:10:53,481 Speaker 3: don't want to feel the things that you're feeling. Just 264 00:10:53,521 --> 00:10:55,321 Speaker 3: give yourself permission to not make it wrong. 265 00:10:55,361 --> 00:10:56,001 Speaker 2: That's beautiful. 266 00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:58,441 Speaker 3: I had a client of mine she had like a 267 00:10:58,481 --> 00:11:00,561 Speaker 3: family member passed away. It was really close to her. 268 00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:03,041 Speaker 3: She worked with me just to work through the grief 269 00:11:03,081 --> 00:11:04,921 Speaker 3: for like a year and a half and it was 270 00:11:05,241 --> 00:11:08,161 Speaker 3: not linear. And the biggest thing takeaway was her not 271 00:11:08,241 --> 00:11:10,121 Speaker 3: making her grief wrong and just allowing it to be 272 00:11:10,201 --> 00:11:12,521 Speaker 3: there and just giving herself permission to know that this 273 00:11:12,641 --> 00:11:14,081 Speaker 3: is the season of grief and that's okay. 274 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:17,441 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, wow, that's beautiful. I love that advice. 275 00:11:17,641 --> 00:11:21,001 Speaker 1: Thank you alighty guys. We'll see you tomorrow for our 276 00:11:21,041 --> 00:11:21,881 Speaker 1: Wednesday episode. 277 00:11:21,961 --> 00:11:28,241 Speaker 3: Bye guys.