WEBVTT - Embryos Are Being Created, a Baby is On The Way 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.880 I record this podcast on Gaetigul Country. I'd like to 0:00:02.880 --> 0:00:04.800 pay my respect to the traditional. 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:07.560 Custodians, and I'm recording o Orando Country, part of the 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:08.280 Cooler Nation. 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:09.240 Let's go. 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:15.360 I know you're gonna dig this. It's like I've been 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:19.279 given like an extra sprinkle of something. 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:21.640 You've got layers, Yeah, I got layers. 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:25.480 I was just thinking, I'm like, we're just such beautiful storytellers. 0:00:25.880 --> 0:00:29.560 You're making a lot of sense to that girl. No, 0:00:30.000 --> 0:00:30.440 I'm done. 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:35.600 Let's be too honest to go. Oh that makes me 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:37.680 laugh so much. 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:41.040 That's funny that it is just a crack. 0:00:40.840 --> 0:00:42.559 Up with new Intro who it is? 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:43.159 Yeah? 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:45.640 New Intro who is? They had so many great yarns 0:00:45.640 --> 0:00:48.879 on this pod, and we've had so many I don't know, 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:52.680 conversations that just are now part of our history. You know, 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:54.600 it's like a time capsule of our life. 0:00:54.760 --> 0:00:58.520 I know, we can't escape it. Remember we were like, yeah, 0:00:58.560 --> 0:01:00.880 we were so wholesome, yees yeah. 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:04.720 Yeah. You know what would be interesting is, really I 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:07.199 haven't got time, and I know you definitely don't have time, 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:10.039 but to go back and see how there's been a 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:12.920 shift in our conversation, you know, from not so PG days. 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:16.120 Oh you know, like I wonder what twenty twenty five 0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:18.800 brings in terms of our evolution, our growth, and how 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:23.080 those conversations sit compared to two years ago. Right, I 0:01:23.080 --> 0:01:24.600 feel like that'd be so different. 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:28.479 That would be And I think also, though I love 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:31.520 pretty much what you just said at the time capsule, 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:34.319 it shows that life, well, life is not linear. It's 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:36.080 going to go in waves and dips, and I think 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:38.880 our episodes will definitely capture that, And it would just 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:41.600 be so interesting to like, maybe we could get a 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:46.800 timeline of all our episode headlines and just see like, yes. 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:49.800 What topics we were exploring sort of where we were 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:52.680 in our lives. There'll be so many where well, I'm 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:54.840 pretty sure they'll be triggering for us because we share 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:57.720 so much. We're so vulnerable that like I even have 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:00.840 that issue when I go back through my photo real 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:03.200 like role, you know Role. 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:06.760 Actually, I think I've downloaded every single one of our episodes, 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:08.680 so I would have that on my Spotify. 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:11.079 Oh yeah, I'm going. 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:12.640 To go through that. That that's going to be a 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:13.840 bit of nostalgia for me. 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:17.000 I think that's going to be really important to how 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:19.640 I shape twenty twenty five this year, because give. 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:21.399 Me a buzz if you end up in an emotional book, 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:25.440 because I'll probably want to do the same thing. Yes, well, 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:27.800 you said mentioned the word timeline earlier, and that's something 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:30.480 that I've been like sort of thinking about. And you 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:32.240 want to know something exciting that I'm going to just 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:35.880 drop as a bomb in this episode. Absolutely, I'm starting 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:40.480 the process for a child in November in Colombia. 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:46.520 No way, Holy Maddie. 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:50.600 When the embryos are being created in November, Oh my god. 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:53.320 I know Brooker is ready. She was born for this, 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:56.560 and Uncle Ricardo, we're all ready. 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:59.200 Well, the reason I bring it up is because I'm like, 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:01.880 you know what, this home capsule these moments in my life. 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:03.680 One day, I'm going to sit my kids down and 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:07.680 go go and listen to the podcast. You didn't have 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:09.240 it as hard as me. Go and listen to what 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:09.799 I went through. 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.880 But only be specific with the episodes, Maddie, because you 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:16.320 know before not so PG was. 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:20.320 Not verys for kids. 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:22.360 But you know, at what point do we delete them 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:23.040 off the Internet? 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:23.679 Oh? 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:27.240 True, probably No. Once it's out there, it's out there, 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:29.880 Dad says all the time. 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:33.080 They're like, did you guys have an only fans. I 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:35.080 was like, no, but we had a podcast basically the 0:03:35.080 --> 0:03:37.240 same thing. I listened to it. There was so much 0:03:37.240 --> 0:03:38.120 insight clothes. 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:40.760 Oh god. 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:45.680 Anyways, so talking about Maddy daddy. November doesn't feel like 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:47.240 that far away, to be fair with you. 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:49.080 It's not that far away. But we've come to a 0:03:49.080 --> 0:03:52.360 decision on the process. You know, it's like having my 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:56.560 partner sister be involved in the process, so it'll be 0:03:56.880 --> 0:03:59.160 a matter of her and donating an egg in my 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:01.400 sperm and having a sorry get carried the baby. 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:03.160 Oh it's gonna look like both of them. 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:04.680 I know, it's going to look like both of us, 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:06.200 and it's going to be both our DNA. You know. 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:08.960 It's like such a beautiful thing for us because we 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:11.160 both wanted a child. But his sister is also a 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:15.120 lesbian with the partner who Denny will be donating his 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:19.440 sperm too. Like we're going to do it all when 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:22.200 we get over there in November and create you know, 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:27.400 the embryos, and then hopefully next year twenty twenty six, 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:28.599 I'm going to be a dad. 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:32.200 That's so wholesome, I know. Oh my god. 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:34.760 It's such a big process though, and the expenses, like 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:40.200 we're currently working through spreadsheet of all the costs it's 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:43.800 going to cost, okay, and so it's a massive commitment. 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:46.599 You know, it's around the minimum, you know, one hundred 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:50.880 thousand dollars. So it's a big, big, big cost for 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:55.359 us to even take on this, you know, big process. 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:58.719 So yeah, we're working towards it. And yeah, twenty twenty 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:00.880 six is the year that I'm going to be dad hopefully. 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:04.359 Holy shit, I'm sorry coming with a screaming kid in 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:06.840 the season of twenty twenty six, You're just gonna have 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:08.719 to bear with me. I'm going to be such a 0:05:08.720 --> 0:05:10.360 helicopter pair and I'm going to be carrying this child 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:11.279 around everywhere I go. 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:15.039 I feel like you will, but I think you'll settle in. 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:17.280 I think obviously the newborn stage. 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:19.919 Is probably some of the hardest parts, like the sleep 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:22.920 deprivation and you're trying to keep this little thing alive. 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:25.400 But I think once you're over that like six month 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:28.960 to a year hill, which I think my brother went through, 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:31.799 it gets so much easier. And then they're just running 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:34.760 around and you're chasing after them, and I cannot wait, 0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:37.839 honest with you, I'm picturing it now and it's actually 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:40.880 getting me so emotional, like thinking that you're just like 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:43.560 holding hands with this like little one year old like 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:45.160 I was yesterday. 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:48.120 I was pushing a pushing a pram around yarb and 0:05:48.160 --> 0:05:50.520 the Aboriginal Festival, and it was my friend Kelsey, you 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:53.839 know Kelsey, Yeah, pushing her little jar geums around at Yarbin, 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:56.400 And all I could feel was that, like that was 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:58.000 my future. I was like, this is going to be me. 0:05:58.040 --> 0:05:59.719 I'm going to be a dad pushing these prams around, 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:01.880 running after these kids, and it just brings me so 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:04.320 much joy. And I haven't even met much child yet, 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:06.440 but I get emotional thinking about the connection that I'm 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:09.400 going to build with my children. And so I feel 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:11.159 like I'm right at the start of that journey, but 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:13.279 I'm looking forward to it. I keep on talking about it. 0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:15.720 But now we finally cement to a time where it's 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:16.520 going to happen. 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:18.560 Which, yeah, they think that's the first thing, right, and 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:22.520 then you kind of do your processes and your structure 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:25.720 of like finance, and then I guess getting prepped. I 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:29.359 think that's the best thing. With you know, same sex couples, 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:33.000 it's like it's so much consideration not to say that 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:36.400 hetero's sexual relationships don't consider that. But it seems a 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:39.240 bit more easier and sometimes a bit more spontaneous and 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:41.680 a bit of a surprise for them. Like I know 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:44.520 I was a one night stand. I mean I was 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:45.920 a result of a one night stand. 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:47.880 I'm not a stand girl. 0:06:49.600 --> 0:06:51.600 You're like, I am not a one night stand. 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:55.160 No, but it's a result of it, and I. 0:06:55.080 --> 0:06:56.840 Was a surprise, beautiful result. 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:58.120 Honestly, thank you. 0:06:58.360 --> 0:06:59.520 Yes, that's stunning. 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:02.599 I feel I've contributed to society, which is a great thing. 0:07:02.920 --> 0:07:05.080 Oh you have. Yeah, absolutely, I. 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:05.800 Pay my taxes. 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:11.520 I pay my taxes, but there's a real process and 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:15.120 consideration between same sex couples, and I think that's the 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:18.600 best thing. You got so much time, not so much, 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:21.760 but you've got enough time to really get yourself prepared, 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:24.240 I think. But you never they always say you never 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:27.640 will be prepared because it's one of those. 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:29.600 Things, like you you don't know. 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:31.720 What your child is going to be, like whether they're 0:07:32.480 --> 0:07:36.120 a crier or there's don't sleep, like you just don't 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:37.560 know and you've got to figure it out. 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:38.280 But I think. 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:42.760 You will absolutely slay that. 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:45.840 I think, Yeah, but you know, it was the perfect 0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:47.920 timing for me because I always said once I turned thirty, 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:50.640 which is this year, I'm going to then, you know, 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:53.480 really focus on that dream of mine and having a child. 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:55.920 So it's really come at the perfect time for me. 0:07:56.360 --> 0:08:01.040 But you know, you just turned thirty and you're actually, 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:03.920 you know, celebrating your birthday a little bit late this year. 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:06.720 I am, Yeah, it's. 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:08.600 An exciting time for you. You might not be thinking about kids, 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:10.080 but you're thinking about hitting a dance floor. 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:15.320 Yeah, thirty seems a bit different to my vision that 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:18.200 I had on my board maybe a couple of years ago. 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:21.480 I was actually having a conversation with a friend of 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:25.280 mine who we were just unpacking again. Timelines, I think 0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:28.440 timelines and seem to be a thing where, you know, 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:31.120 we've spoken about this before, the pressure of women and 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:32.400 their body clocks, et cetera. 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:34.360 I don't feel like I'm under pressure. 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:37.640 And if I do feel like that pressure, you know 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:40.560 soon I'll go and get my eggs freeze, which I 0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:42.760 have considered and I've been trying to put a little 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:45.400 bit more money aside because it's just quite expensive. 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:47.600 She said, do you mind me asking like, how much 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:48.640 is that process here? 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:51.280 So I think it's like a few months process to 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:54.560 get your eggs. But it can cost like eleven to 0:08:54.760 --> 0:08:56.320 fifteen thousand dollars. 0:08:56.559 --> 0:08:56.920 Wow. 0:08:57.040 --> 0:08:59.880 And then yeah, and then you have to pay rent 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:03.640 every month yeah wow, So roughly I think four to five. 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:04.959 Hundred dollars a year. 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:09.600 I think maybe maybe not a month yep, yeah, so 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:10.560 quite a bit. 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:12.960 But I don't know. 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:16.920 I'm just not in that space of being a parent 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:19.720 at the moment. And if I felt like I would 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:23.200 like to buy myself, I would just look at that 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:25.080 and consider that absolutely. 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:27.440 Yeah. I don't know. I just want to no pressure there, 0:09:27.480 --> 0:09:29.840 which is nice, you know, to feel that, because I 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:32.160 feel like a few years back you were sort of 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:35.080 putting yourself under a bit of pressure of society was 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:37.040 putting you know, put women under pressure all the time 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:39.280 when it comes to the biological clock. But it is 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:42.600 a real thing, and I think that maybe your view 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:44.960 has changed, you know, on Well. 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:51.920 The heartbreaking thing is is that I had made it 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:55.760 really clear in my mind and my body that I 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:58.120 never let a guy at all like. 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:03.600 Inside me ever unless I knew that. 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:07.000 We were going to have a baby, okay, because I 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:10.560 was like, that is just not something that I want 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:15.120 that to sounds so fucked to be so special. And 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:18.959 I did that with David, and we were actively trying 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:23.079 for a baby, and then we broke up. And then 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:25.800 a few days after we broke up and he left me, 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:30.160 I found out I was pregnant, And that for me 0:10:30.520 --> 0:10:35.920 was just so terrifying because and also so conflicting because 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.800 I'd always wanted to be pregnant. I never had any 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:42.600 real big scares or anything before, obviously, and I get 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:45.560 my period consistently. I was really on that trajectory of like, 0:10:45.600 --> 0:10:48.000 the only person that I'm ever going to let that 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:52.240 happen or have close to that was that I would 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:54.040 be actively trying and having a baby. 0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:56.600 Sorry, I'm giving way too much detail, but no. 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:59.719 No, no, I'm listening. I feel like when I mentioned a 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:02.319 couple years back, that's what I was sort of talking about. 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:04.720 We had a conversation one night, but even before that, 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:07.520 you were pretty certain on freezing your eggs and you know, 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:09.679 even wanting to be pregnant to have a child. You know, 0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:12.680 like it was like a conversation that we had, but 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:15.319 then you said maybe your mindset had shifted a bit. 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:17.319 Do you think it was due to that experience? 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:21.040 I really think it comes back to that twenty twenty 0:11:21.080 --> 0:11:28.199 one year that I'm just so cautious of who I'm 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:30.920 going to be having a child with, and I feel 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:33.719 so much more better having it by myself. And I 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:36.439 think my family and friends really support this because they 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:39.920 know that even with my dog, the love and care 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:44.000 and consideration that I give that little fur child, and 0:11:44.640 --> 0:11:47.240 I just feel like I can rely on myself and 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:50.079 I can't rely on anyone else, and that's really bad. 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:52.439 I know that, you know, I need to work through that, 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:56.200 and I think that's just my hyperindependence kicking in. But 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:58.800 I just I trust that I could look after a 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:00.520 baby and I could trust that I would give it 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.679 the love and care and consideration it needs. But it's 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:05.960 the other person that I worry about, and it's my 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:08.360 trust issues, which kind of comes down to it, right 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:11.440 So yeah, anyways, full circle, Like that's kind of the 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:13.680 cycle I'm in, is that I really want to have 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:16.200 a baby, but I just am not considering that in 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:19.040 my future right now because right now I've got things 0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:21.960 that I need to do for me. And if I 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:24.400 do feel like I want to or I feel pressure 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:28.760 to have it in the next like five years, I 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:31.320 know the process to do that in order for me 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:32.200 to make that happen. 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:34.280 So it's kind of a good thing, I think. 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:38.200 I know there's a great inspiration rach Corbett for that process. 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:41.160 Yes, exactly, She's such an inspiration for that. 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:42.800 Yeah. And she said to me the other day, I 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.640 had a quick convoy with her about parenting, you know, 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:48.040 and I said to her, so, I've always thought that 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:50.160 even if I don't have a partner, I do it 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:52.000 on my own. It was always in the back of 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:53.800 my mind, I would do it on my own, you know, 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:57.520 through surrogacy. And she said to me, well, the one 0:12:57.520 --> 0:12:58.880 thing that I knew that I'd be good at in 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:00.800 my life is being a mum, So it was always 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:03.040 going to happen. You know. It's like she knew that 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:05.720 that's what she wanted, no matter how, she was going 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:06.400 to make that happen. 0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:08.160 I feel like that's the same thing too. 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:13.800 Yeah, it's so Yeah, it's such a beautiful, loving thing 0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:14.280 to see. 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:17.000 I think the timing of it as well is like 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:22.080 really vital, Like I would love to do that, and 0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:26.839 I think when the time came to consider that, I've 0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:28.120 just got a few things that I wanted to tick 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:32.080 off first, and I think maybe people will see them 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:35.840 as selfish. But I think for me, like I haven't traveled, 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:38.199 I haven't gone and explored the world. 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:39.280 I think I need to get. 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:40.920 Bad out of the way and then I have a 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:45.120 little bit more life experience and stuff that I can offer. 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:46.679 I think as well, like. 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:50.040 Yeah, I think, like you know, Rachel is such a 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.800 great inspiration of how you can just do it, not 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:54.760 how you just do it like it's a lot of 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:57.480 work and a lot of effort. But I would love 0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:00.640 my family obviously to be a part of that. And 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:04.160 I think it would be a matter of moving home 0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:09.080 and having that like first two years at home with 0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:13.880 my child, with my family, because exactly like it takes 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:17.520 a village, and I think people really dismiss that. And yes, 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:19.680 you can have a child on your own, and there's 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:22.840 science that can make that happen, but the actual looking 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:25.160 part of it, you need support and people around you. 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:26.960 And I think for me, I would love to be 0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:29.720 close to my family and have you know, that two 0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:35.000 years experience to explore and have them around my child. 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:36.800 And I honestly like, I don't know why, but I 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:40.640 just keep getting a feminine energy. I honestly think if 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:43.880 I even like found out I was pregnant, I would 0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:44.760 probably fly. 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:46.520 Home and be home worst I was pregnant. 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:49.400 So think it would be like the nine months that 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:52.080 I'm pregnant plus the two years I feel like to 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:54.720 establish that toddler at stage, and if I wanted to 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:58.360 move whatever wherever I could then but I would have 0:14:58.440 --> 0:14:59.200 to move back. 0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:02.240 Home that But I've also had this conversation with Denny. 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:05.320 I said, you know, to have the baby in Colombia, 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:10.000 we would stay and create a very supportive environment with 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:12.440 his family because he has a lot of siblings. Mom, 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:14.880 you know, a great mum who would be able to 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:18.000 help us for two men. I think it's super important 0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:19.800 that there are people who can show us the way. 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:22.360 It's not like we have like mother instincts, you know, 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:25.920 it's like those parental instincts and father instincts will kick in. 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:28.560 But being able to have a supportive network. I even 0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:30.360 said to him that we could live in Columbia for 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:34.080 up to six months after the baby's born to establish 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:37.240 that strong connection with his Colombian culture as well like 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:40.000 with his parents. And I feel like it'd been so 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:42.800 important because we're so far away we live on the 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:45.440 other side of the world. That for those initial months 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:49.000 to be connected to family, especially for his mum and dad, 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:50.560 who are the grandparents who won't get to see this, 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:52.200 you know, their Grandchad. 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:54.080 They're getting older. And yeah, that's right. 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:55.920 So we would stay I think for up to six 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:59.960 months and have that supportive network. So we spoke. 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:03.640 Yeah, well, I think it's like maybe Columban's feel the 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:06.320 same way, like maybe as First Nations people, when the 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:09.640 early stages of a newborn, that baby kind of gets 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:14.280 passed around community and gets held by all the aunties 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:18.280 and uncles and cousins so that they have that bond 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:18.960 in connection. 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:20.480 And I think, like, I. 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:23.360 Don't know if i've if I've just read this, or 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:28.440 it's like I just remember that moment. I know me 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:34.720 growing up, Like when my baby brother was born, he 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:39.360 was getting like like breastfed by my auntie. He was 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:42.400 pregnant at this, Like who was breastfeeding at the same time. 0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:45.359 I was like, okay, okay, we're a close. 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:48.280 Family's so random. 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:50.000 Anyways, that's just an overshare, sir. 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:54.600 I mean, that's the basis of our culture, right, can 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:55.280 shit care? 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:56.200 Actually? 0:16:56.280 --> 0:17:01.400 Yeah, now that been in Melbourne for like four years. 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:05.840 I've had to make a little community here in Melbourne. 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.960 And I would say, honestly, Maddie, like your family to me, 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:10.960 like if I was absolutely if I was gone to 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:14.720 jail or I did something legal or I needed help 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.760 or something, you'd be one of my top few. 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:20.600 People, right call me, I will trust me. Yeah. 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:26.480 So I was just establishing because last year was really 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:29.800 tough on friendships for me. I lost and there's a 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:32.919 full stop at the end, there's no open door. I 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:35.679 feel like it was a really. 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:40.000 Hard year to come to terms with some of my friendships. 0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:44.600 Maybe my eyes were closed and I couldn't see what 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:48.159 was happening, and the friendships that I had were just 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:51.040 more based off superficialism. 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:53.600 If that's a word. I've just made it up now. 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.359 And these people used to say the same thing to me, 0:17:56.520 --> 0:17:58.760 like oh, are they really your friends or they just 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.560 like want something from you? And I was like always 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:03.600 pretty certain that my friends that I had were. 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:05.080 Like my family and my community here. 0:18:06.040 --> 0:18:09.440 And then I went obviously did acting school and I 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:12.199 didn't have a lot of time, and I made some 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:15.640 really awesome new friends who I was making time for 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:20.160 school and everything and caused a really bit of a dispute, 0:18:20.200 --> 0:18:23.720 I guess between my old friends not spending that time. 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:27.560 So I expressed that I was struggling with the fact 0:18:27.600 --> 0:18:31.159 that I'm the one that always organizes and wants to 0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:34.679 do things, and that stopped off because I got busy 0:18:35.080 --> 0:18:38.760 and they didn't step up, and instead of being met 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:44.640 with compassion or care, I was met on. 0:18:44.640 --> 0:18:45.800 The defense, like I. 0:18:47.320 --> 0:18:50.280 Was made to feel like I was really shit and 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:53.520 that I'm a shit friend and that I am passive 0:18:53.520 --> 0:18:57.560 aggressive or like that kind of energy. So I sat 0:18:57.600 --> 0:19:00.520 with that and I reflected, and I actually and I 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:03.320 wrote down, like you know, I went to therapy and 0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:05.480 I spoke to my therapist about it, and he said, 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:09.000 why don't you write down what you do for the friendship, 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:11.160 like what you feel Obviously it's only going to come 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:13.680