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Speaker 1: Appogie production. I need your advice. Are you okay? What happened?

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Speaker 1: Promise it won't be too much. Bring it in.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to our Bestie segment.

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Speaker 1: Girl, this is the place for you. Hello everybody, Welcome

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Speaker 1: back to our Bestie Segment every Tuesday and every Friday

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Speaker 1: now and nor we'll freak your Friday. It is just

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Speaker 1: bestI advice. So let's get straight into it. Let's do it.

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Speaker 1: What have you got for us today? The title is

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Speaker 1: soft Girls in a Harsh World, how to stop losing

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Speaker 1: your spark? All right? Our beautiful admission is I listen

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Speaker 1: to your podcast regularly and I love hearing your advice

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Speaker 1: and thoughts. I am damning you because I need your help.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I've lost myself and fallen into a hole,

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Speaker 1: and I'm feeling anxious, sad, and weak all of the time.

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Speaker 1: I'm a high school student and I'm having a lot

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Speaker 1: of trouble trying to find my people. The school lego

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Speaker 1: to is very small, and I feel like I have

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Speaker 1: no friends because the girls are so horrible. I don't

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Speaker 1: know how I can stop my overthinking and stop worrying

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Speaker 1: about what they think about me. I'm also facing a

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Speaker 1: lot of stress and anxiety, and I want to get

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Speaker 1: back into meditation and moving my body every day again,

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Speaker 1: but I can't find the motivation to do it. I

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Speaker 1: really need your help because I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: I want to also start reading again. I want to

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Speaker 1: find a book about relationships and mental health and advice

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Speaker 1: on how to cope with anxiety and mental health problems.

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Speaker 1: Please help me. Oh, high school, sweetheart, they are hard years.

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Speaker 2: They really are.

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Speaker 1: Teenage years are brutal.

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Speaker 2: People are brutal at that age. So I really really

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Speaker 2: feel for you.

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Speaker 1: I hated high schoolf that makes you feel better, so

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Speaker 1: did I. It is hard.

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Speaker 2: I think it's challenging to find your people in high

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Speaker 2: school because you are so limited with how many people

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Speaker 2: you're exposed to. But before we kind of dive into

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Speaker 2: all of that, I think the first thing is, like

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Speaker 2: your priority right now is getting out of the mental

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Speaker 2: slump that you're in, and the way that you will

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Speaker 2: be able to do that is the movement. Like, I know,

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Speaker 2: you're in high school, so you probably still live at home.

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Speaker 2: So if you can and you're allowed and you have

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Speaker 2: the freedom to do so, like making sure that you're

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Speaker 2: going for a walk, I know it sounds so simple,

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Speaker 2: but every single day, even if you start with like

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Speaker 2: three or four times a week and you don't do seven,

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Speaker 2: just start with that because right now, like you're sitting

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Speaker 2: in the energy of stagnation physically, mentally, physically, mentally, right,

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Speaker 2: And so the way that we kind of get you

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Speaker 2: back on the bandwagon is clearing your head mentally, and

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Speaker 2: walks are like the best way to regulate yourself, clear

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Speaker 2: your head, and to start feeling like you're actually moving

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Speaker 2: energy physical energy in your body again, that will start

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Speaker 2: the momentum of you getting out of this slump. And like,

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Speaker 2: just for some context, every time I fall into a slump,

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Speaker 2: even now in my life, that's exactly.

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Speaker 1: What I do.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's the first thing that I do because

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Speaker 2: I know if I'm sitting in it, I'm not moving

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Speaker 2: the energy in my body, and that's exactly what my

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Speaker 2: body needs.

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Speaker 1: I've done it since I was fourteen. Yeah, I'm probably younger.

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Speaker 1: My mum said, whenever I was stressed or having a

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Speaker 1: hard time with my stepdad or having a hard time

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Speaker 1: at school, She's like, you just would walk. You'd walk

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Speaker 1: and walk and walk. Didn't do it because I knew

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Speaker 1: it was good For me, it's just naturally what my

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Speaker 1: body wanted to do. Now at thirty six years old,

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Speaker 1: I walk every day. There is not a day that

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Speaker 1: I miss a walk, and if I do, it feel shit. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: If you do, you're like, oh my god, I don't

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Speaker 1: feel good. Like even today we got up at four

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Speaker 1: am to make sure we could get a walk in

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Speaker 1: before we sat all day. It is just so important.

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Speaker 1: So I know it sounds silly, it sounds like it

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Speaker 1: wouldn't really have impact, but I'm telling you, after doing

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Speaker 1: this for twenty five years, plass walking every single day,

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Speaker 1: it is the best thing for you. I so agree.

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Speaker 1: So she out in nature, Oh, moving your energy, getting

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Speaker 1: in a good state. Even wherever you walk, just stop

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Speaker 1: and look out, revr and just take three big breaths.

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Speaker 1: The next thing I want to say is you're saying

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Speaker 1: you don't have the motivation. This is where discipline comes in.

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Speaker 1: If you are so sick and tired of feeling sick

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Speaker 1: and tired and worried and anxious like something has to change.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to feel motivated to do the things.

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Speaker 1: You just have to know that you're going to feel

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Speaker 1: better after and know that you're doing it. For a

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Speaker 1: high purpose. So you're meditating, exercising, reading, that's beautiful as well.

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Speaker 1: And don't set yourself up for unrealistic goals like it

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Speaker 1: could be a five minute meditation the moment you wake up.

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Speaker 1: So instead of getting on your scroll and jumping straight

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Speaker 1: out of bed to get ready for school and pack

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Speaker 1: your lunch, five minutes gone to YouTube and type in

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Speaker 1: five minute meditation for anxiety. Yeah, that's all you need. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then at nighttime do the same thing. There's ten

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Speaker 1: minutes out of your day. Anyone can find ten minutes, right,

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Speaker 1: do meditation, exercising and reading reading ten pages an Yeah

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Speaker 1: all you need to do. Yeah. You know, at one

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Speaker 1: point in high school and I was friends with a

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Speaker 1: lot of different groups, but I felt like I just

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Speaker 1: really didn't belong. There was always something missing for me,

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Speaker 1: and there was just cattiness, and I didn't like to

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Speaker 1: get involved in the drama. I remember this is a

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Speaker 1: period where I took my book and I went out

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Speaker 1: in the football field at lunchtime and I found like

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Speaker 1: a quiet little place under a tree or something like

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Speaker 1: such a nerd but literally I just went out under

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Speaker 1: the tree and read and just sat by myself and

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Speaker 1: just for a couple of months, just what I did,

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Speaker 1: and all my friends would be like, oh, wear are

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Speaker 1: your lunch I was like, oh, I went and saw

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Speaker 1: that the group and I lied because it was embarrassed.

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Speaker 1: But I just I just went out there by myself

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Speaker 1: because that's just what I needed. It's okay if you

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Speaker 1: want to go out there and read it your lunch

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Speaker 1: break as well. You don't have to surround yourself with

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Speaker 1: these people if they're not your people. Don't force yourself

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Speaker 1: to be around people that drain your energy. Go be

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Speaker 1: with yourself and go read and do the things meditated lunch,

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Speaker 1: do the things that you want to do, your full

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Speaker 1: permission to do that. Yeah, and I promise you the

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Speaker 1: things people say and what happens in high school when

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Speaker 1: you get out, it means nothing. Nothing. I can't believe

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Speaker 1: the amount of energy I wasted caring about what my

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Speaker 1: high school piece thought of it.

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Speaker 2: Agreed, I'm like, ah, it's sad less, less less. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's easier than done when it's your everything. Because right now,

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Speaker 2: school is your everything. It's your form of connection, it's

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Speaker 2: your form of meeting new people, it's your everything. And

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Speaker 2: I know it's a little bit different now because social media,

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Speaker 2: you know, we can connect in different ways, but you're

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Speaker 2: still at a young age, and so just be really

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Speaker 2: kind to yourself in this period. And like what Ashley said,

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Speaker 2: when I was in school, I would listen to music.

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Speaker 2: I would always have my headphones in. I bounced around

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Speaker 2: a lot in school. I was moving around so much

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Speaker 2: that I was always meeting new people and wasn't with

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Speaker 2: the people that I knew who were safe, you know,

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Speaker 2: and that made it really hard to make new friends,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 1: So same thing with you.

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Speaker 2: I felt like I never really understood their jokes and

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Speaker 2: they never really jelled with them in the way that

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Speaker 2: they all jelled with each other. And I thought that

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Speaker 2: there was something wrong with me because of it, and

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Speaker 2: I was just like fuck, Like it's just it's not

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Speaker 2: about that. Like, if you can spend this time building

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Speaker 2: a relationship with yourself, you will get to know everything

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Speaker 2: about who you are and you will feel comfortable in

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Speaker 2: your skin. And if you're feeling anxious, it's likely that

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Speaker 2: you're living in your head and not in your body.

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Speaker 2: So you know, you're constantly thinking all the time, overthinking,

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Speaker 2: worried about what they care about, whereas like what would

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Speaker 2: be really powerful. Is like Well actually said about anchoring

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Speaker 2: into a couple of deep breaths, you know, like in

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Speaker 2: for forur through the nose, out for forll through the mouth,

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Speaker 2: and breathing into your body and just like sitting in

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Speaker 2: the stillness and like getting to feel what it feels

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Speaker 2: like to be still and drop out of your thoughts.

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Speaker 2: I think that, mixed with everything that we've shared al ready,

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Speaker 2: will be so powerful for you because you're going to

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Speaker 2: be so much more advanced than the people that you're

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Speaker 2: surrounded by. But by the time it comes to you

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Speaker 2: getting in new environments, maybe when you start going to

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Speaker 2: the gym or you join a run club and you

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Speaker 2: start doing fitness classes or extracurricular activities, whatever it is

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Speaker 2: that you're into, you'll be able to connect with people

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Speaker 2: on such a deeper level that the relationships that you've

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Speaker 2: cultivated at school aren't going to matter.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, and.

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Speaker 2: Those people who are horrible. This is a really good

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Speaker 2: time for you to practice not taking things so personally.

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Speaker 2: And I know it's easier said than done, because school

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Speaker 2: is a really challenging time, but something that you'll learn

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Speaker 2: as an adult, so you may as well learn it now.

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Speaker 2: Is that not everything that everyone does is about you,

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Speaker 2: you know, And when you can separate that and not

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Speaker 2: feel like this is a personal attack, you will be

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Speaker 2: a much happier girl at school.

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Speaker 1: Like from another thing I did too, because I really

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Speaker 1: feel you on this. I really didn't like high school.

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Speaker 1: Is I lent into a teacher?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I had a female teacher and she knew all about

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Speaker 1: my stepdad. She know all about my home life. I

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Speaker 1: would turn to She's still on my Facebook, like I

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Speaker 1: still talk to every now and again. Oh this is

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Speaker 1: like twenty odd years later. That's so beautiful. But she

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Speaker 1: was such a rock for me when I was having

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Speaker 1: a really hard time at home, Like after she was

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Speaker 1: my pea teacher, after pee class, I would just go

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Speaker 1: and sit with her at lunchtime. If I was sitting

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Speaker 1: by myself, should come and sit with me. If she

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Speaker 1: was on Judy, I'd go and talk to her. I

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Speaker 1: love that, and she was a real rock for me.

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Speaker 1: I know a lot of schools have like the school counselors.

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Speaker 1: Is there a teacher you really bond with that you

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Speaker 1: can open up with and it's not to be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: these girls are being horrible, can you go say something

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Speaker 1: it's just like, Hey, I'm just feeling really isolated at school,

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Speaker 1: like I just need someone to talk to. I beat you.

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Speaker 1: Most teachers will happily sit down with you and be

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Speaker 1: there for you. Most teachers are quite nurturing. They're working

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Speaker 1: with children. They want to help you. High school it's

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Speaker 1: going to end soon. I'm guessing you're in grade ten, eleven, twelve,

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's gonna end soon. Something that might be helpful

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Speaker 1: for you. And I don't know where you're at with this,

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Speaker 1: but if you have anything that you're passionate about, or

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Speaker 1: any hobbies or anything that you'd like to do that

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Speaker 1: you can do outside of school, it might be worthwhile

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Speaker 1: for you starting to build a sense of the world

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Speaker 1: outside of school, you know, like getting to know people

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Speaker 1: who aren't from your school, aren't related to that place

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Speaker 1: at all, so that you can realize that there's more

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Speaker 1: to life than just this one place. Sshcha.

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Speaker 2: That will really help you broaden your horizons for who's

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Speaker 2: out there, what's out there, and it will start to

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Speaker 2: help you realize that the world is a much bigger

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Speaker 2: place than what you know it is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I did that too. I worked since I was thirteen,

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Speaker 1: so I had work, which can be really busy. I

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Speaker 1: danced most evenings and I played netbule on a Saturday,

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Speaker 1: So I was like filling my time and finding connections

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Speaker 1: and purpose outside of just outside of Yeah, I did

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Speaker 1: what I had to do in school, and I hated it,

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Speaker 1: and I showed up because I was committed. But then

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Speaker 1: outside of I had other things to bring with joy,

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Speaker 1: other things to focus on, other connections, other purpose. Otherwise

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Speaker 1: I would have just felt so dead inside and so stuck.

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Speaker 1: How you're feeling, Yeah, yeah, yeah, hobbies and connections and yeah,

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Speaker 1: taking care of you. I love the music and I

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Speaker 1: love I mean, in high school we didn't have podcasts,

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Speaker 1: but you want to read books about anxiety. I can't

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Speaker 1: think of one at the top of my head. But

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Speaker 1: even on YouTube, there's literally thousands of videos you could

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Speaker 1: type in how can I help myself with anxiety? Anxiety?

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Speaker 1: There'll be millions of videos that can pop ups in

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Speaker 1: your lunch when you're feeling lonely or you don't hang out,

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Speaker 1: then you pop your earphones in watch and learn. There's

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Speaker 1: that grow so much.

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Speaker 2: There's a book that's actually about relationships, but it's about

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Speaker 2: attachment styles. It's called Attached by Adam Levine and one.

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Speaker 2: This is more about understanding how you interact in intimate

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Speaker 2: relationships with people. But the reason why I recommend it

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Speaker 2: to use because you mentioned you want to learn about relationships.

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Speaker 2: It will also help you understand yourself how you show

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Speaker 2: up predominantly with the people at school and also your

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Speaker 2: family members and if you were dating at the moment

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Speaker 2: as well. So that will give you, like a such

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Speaker 2: a huge head start on understanding who you are and

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Speaker 2: why that anxiety is like such a big part of

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Speaker 2: your life when it comes to other people.

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Speaker 1: I wish I learned this stuff. Oh my gosh, I

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Speaker 1: would tell my younger self to stop carrying out everyone

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Speaker 1: else's think and just invest in myself, Like you will

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Speaker 1: be one hundred steps ahead and you'll get so much

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Speaker 1: further than anyone else if you can learn this stuff

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Speaker 1: at a younger age. My goodness, it's exciting for you.

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Speaker 1: But I also really feel for you. High school's not fun,

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Speaker 1: it's really tough, and you're still getting to know who

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Speaker 1: you are plus all the hormone shifts. Know what's happening

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Speaker 1: at your home life at that stable and safe, Like

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Speaker 1: I hope you've got stable parents, You can chat to

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Speaker 1: and go to as well. But hopefully we've given you

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Speaker 1: a lot of options in here that you can trial.

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Speaker 1: But definitely go for your walks. Yeah, start your day

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Speaker 1: with breath and meditation, Start listening to podcasts, even a

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Speaker 1: gratitude journal every day, just starting with three things you're

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Speaker 1: grateful for, extend it out to ten. I read a

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Speaker 1: list on the plane on the way home from Balley

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Speaker 1: of everything I was grateful for. I had like fifty

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Speaker 1: five things. I love that. It's so good to do that,

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Speaker 1: and also wrote a list of things I want to manifest. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and just got me in such a high vibe. I

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Speaker 1: love that. So there's lots of little things you can do.

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Speaker 1: Really hope that helps.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. If you have anything else that you are dealing with,

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Speaker 2: any specific situation that's happening, Yeah, specific anything relationships wise,

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Speaker 2: or family or anything like that that's kind of creating

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Speaker 2: this feeling for you, let us know because if we

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Speaker 2: can help, we will. Yeah, And just know that you

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Speaker 2: don't have to do it alone.

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Speaker 1: No, We're here for you, especially at your age.

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Speaker 2: I remember feeling so alone, Oh my gosh, so alone,

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Speaker 2: and I just I wish that I had had at

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Speaker 2: the time, older women that I had felt safe with,

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Speaker 2: and to lead me and to like hold my hand

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Speaker 2: and go like, hey, it's actually okay, and I doesn't

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Speaker 2: want you to know that. That's like, we can be

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Speaker 2: that for you.

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Speaker 1: One so happy to be that for you. Just bring

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Speaker 1: it in, send us a message. We're here for you.

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Speaker 2: Alreadie by Chicky