1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Appogiae Production. 2 00:00:10,921 --> 00:00:14,201 Speaker 2: Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana. 3 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:16,881 Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment. 4 00:00:16,441 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 3: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most 5 00:00:19,201 --> 00:00:20,801 Speaker 3: authentic version of yourself. 6 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,281 Speaker 2: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 7 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 2: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 8 00:00:26,241 --> 00:00:27,801 Speaker 2: else is too afraid to talk about. 9 00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:30,761 Speaker 3: Get ready for your next level of self. 10 00:00:31,361 --> 00:00:35,761 Speaker 2: Hello everybody, Welcome back to She Rises with Ashy and Tiana. 11 00:00:35,841 --> 00:00:36,281 Speaker 1: Hello. 12 00:00:36,841 --> 00:00:40,561 Speaker 2: I think today's episode it's more on the heavier side. 13 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,201 Speaker 2: It's gonna be quite vulnerable and raw for us, and 14 00:00:43,241 --> 00:00:45,321 Speaker 2: I also feel like it might ruffle a few feathers 15 00:00:45,321 --> 00:00:46,241 Speaker 2: with our opinions. 16 00:00:46,441 --> 00:00:47,161 Speaker 1: I think so too. 17 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,481 Speaker 2: Just remember these are our opinions and our experiences. You 18 00:00:50,521 --> 00:00:52,641 Speaker 2: don't have to always agree with them. Just try and 19 00:00:52,641 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 2: have an open mind, open heart. And we're also just 20 00:00:55,241 --> 00:00:57,481 Speaker 2: not saying one raise the right way to go or 21 00:00:57,521 --> 00:00:59,881 Speaker 2: the wrong way to go. Everyone's so different, everyone's journey 22 00:00:59,961 --> 00:01:02,001 Speaker 2: is different. I just want to start the episode with that, 23 00:01:02,121 --> 00:01:05,041 Speaker 2: before an occurrence or trigger trace has come out up. 24 00:01:05,601 --> 00:01:10,521 Speaker 2: But today we're talking about anxiety, depression, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, 25 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,401 Speaker 2: all the things that we have experienced and our take 26 00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 2: on kind of how we've moved through them as we've 27 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:18,001 Speaker 2: both experienced all of that and more. 28 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 3: I think what's important to note in this conversation as 29 00:01:20,521 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 3: well is to one come in with an open mind, 30 00:01:22,241 --> 00:01:24,641 Speaker 3: like what actually said, but also to know you can 31 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,881 Speaker 3: take and leave whatever either feels right for you or 32 00:01:27,881 --> 00:01:30,281 Speaker 3: doesn't feel right for you. So if something doesn't resonate, 33 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,801 Speaker 3: leave it, that's so fine. If something resonates, take it 34 00:01:33,881 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 3: and pass it on in a conversation or something like that. 35 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 3: But just know that everything that is shared in here 36 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,321 Speaker 3: is not something that you need to take as like gospel. No, 37 00:01:41,521 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 3: we're just sharing our opinions and sharing what we've been through, 38 00:01:44,161 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 3: our experiences and what we believe is beneficial for us. 39 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,321 Speaker 2: One hundred percent. And like, just because we have a 40 00:01:49,321 --> 00:01:51,921 Speaker 2: certain opinion, we don't know your history, we don't know 41 00:01:52,201 --> 00:01:54,281 Speaker 2: what you've been through, what your doctors advised. So this 42 00:01:54,361 --> 00:01:58,561 Speaker 2: isn't us giving advice. This is literally our stories, our opinions, 43 00:01:59,041 --> 00:02:02,161 Speaker 2: our lives. Yeah, so let's take it back. I'm thirty 44 00:02:02,201 --> 00:02:07,041 Speaker 2: six years old. When I was around eighteen or nineteen 45 00:02:07,881 --> 00:02:10,881 Speaker 2: is when my mom and stepdad officially got a divorce. 46 00:02:11,081 --> 00:02:13,161 Speaker 2: And my mom had to change her name move away. 47 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 2: He was threatening to kill us. I was recently with Steve. 48 00:02:17,561 --> 00:02:20,721 Speaker 2: I felt so depressed all the time, like so sad 49 00:02:20,761 --> 00:02:23,401 Speaker 2: all the time, anxiety attacks all the time. I didn't 50 00:02:23,401 --> 00:02:26,201 Speaker 2: want to get out of bed. It was affecting my relationship, 51 00:02:26,321 --> 00:02:28,801 Speaker 2: my friendships, like literally everything. I didn't love life. I 52 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,201 Speaker 2: didn't like life. I didn't I don't know. And I 53 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,361 Speaker 2: had two other girlfriends who I worked with who went 54 00:02:34,401 --> 00:02:37,601 Speaker 2: and got depression and anxiety medication and they felt so 55 00:02:37,721 --> 00:02:41,241 Speaker 2: much better. So I quite easily got pretty influenced. I 56 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,921 Speaker 2: remember going to the doctor and saying, I just feel 57 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,121 Speaker 2: so depressed all the time. I'm in a depressed state 58 00:02:46,161 --> 00:02:48,081 Speaker 2: all the time. I can't seem to shake it. I 59 00:02:48,081 --> 00:02:49,281 Speaker 2: don't want to get out of bed, I don't want 60 00:02:49,281 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 2: to go to work. I have anxiety attacks all the time. 61 00:02:52,361 --> 00:02:54,841 Speaker 2: I feel so out of control. Andy, straight away I 62 00:02:54,881 --> 00:02:57,881 Speaker 2: was like, you have depression and you've got anxiety disorder. 63 00:02:58,361 --> 00:03:00,201 Speaker 2: So we're going to put you on two lots of medication. 64 00:03:00,921 --> 00:03:02,361 Speaker 2: And my friends with me and they were on it 65 00:03:02,401 --> 00:03:03,601 Speaker 2: and they were like, yeah, I do it. You know, 66 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,481 Speaker 2: you feel so much better. I was like, okay, cool, 67 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,761 Speaker 2: I didn't think to do any research into it. I 68 00:03:07,761 --> 00:03:10,161 Speaker 2: didn't get second opinions. I was just like, I fucking 69 00:03:10,201 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 2: hate life, I don't like myself. Make a goal away. 70 00:03:13,201 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 2: I can take these pills sweet easy, right. That's how 71 00:03:17,841 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 2: black and white it was for me. I was on 72 00:03:20,561 --> 00:03:24,641 Speaker 2: them for maybe about a year, and I felt so numb. 73 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,161 Speaker 2: I just couldn't feel anything. So I didn't feel better. 74 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,241 Speaker 2: I didn't feel worse, and I didn't feel as panicky 75 00:03:31,361 --> 00:03:35,281 Speaker 2: and as depressed, but I definitely was far from happy. 76 00:03:35,881 --> 00:03:37,761 Speaker 2: And I remember having a couple of sessions with a 77 00:03:37,761 --> 00:03:41,601 Speaker 2: beautiful counselor called Moira, and I told her how numb 78 00:03:41,601 --> 00:03:44,121 Speaker 2: I felt, and she explained her opinions and thoughts on 79 00:03:44,161 --> 00:03:45,601 Speaker 2: them as well, and she never once said to me, 80 00:03:45,641 --> 00:03:47,921 Speaker 2: don't go on them, but she said to do more 81 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,961 Speaker 2: research into how they can really like numb you out. Yeah, 82 00:03:51,161 --> 00:03:52,481 Speaker 2: And I did a bit of research, and I just 83 00:03:52,481 --> 00:03:54,081 Speaker 2: made the decision I wanted to come off them. I 84 00:03:54,121 --> 00:03:57,401 Speaker 2: probably should have like winged myself off them. Yeah. So 85 00:03:57,481 --> 00:03:59,961 Speaker 2: I came off them, and the panic attacks came back, 86 00:04:00,001 --> 00:04:02,321 Speaker 2: the anxiety came back. I was back to feeling really 87 00:04:02,361 --> 00:04:05,041 Speaker 2: really shit. But then I also did a tony robins Call. 88 00:04:05,041 --> 00:04:07,681 Speaker 2: Also learned so much more about human psychology and started 89 00:04:07,761 --> 00:04:09,961 Speaker 2: on this personal development journey, and I felt like I 90 00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:12,081 Speaker 2: was making progress and getting to know who I was, 91 00:04:13,121 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 2: and I kind of got myself out of it through 92 00:04:16,121 --> 00:04:18,921 Speaker 2: the inner work that I'd done, but it wasn't over. 93 00:04:19,881 --> 00:04:23,641 Speaker 2: The panic attacks continued on four years. I'm trying to 94 00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:26,721 Speaker 2: remember the last one I had over five years ago, 95 00:04:27,361 --> 00:04:29,121 Speaker 2: but I went through a couple of year period where 96 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,481 Speaker 2: they were so bad. I used to be on the 97 00:04:32,561 --> 00:04:37,481 Speaker 2: floor physically pulling my hair out, scratching my whole body, 98 00:04:37,921 --> 00:04:42,081 Speaker 2: screaming like like I could not breathe, and Steve would 99 00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,001 Speaker 2: just like hold me to try and stop me from 100 00:04:44,001 --> 00:04:46,481 Speaker 2: like calming myself and to try to get me to 101 00:04:46,521 --> 00:04:48,921 Speaker 2: calm down. And sometimes I wanted him to hold me, 102 00:04:48,961 --> 00:04:52,001 Speaker 2: and other times I would like resist and want to 103 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:55,001 Speaker 2: like not be touched, but he was so worried, like 104 00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:59,001 Speaker 2: of me hurting myself, and I felt so out of control. 105 00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:00,921 Speaker 2: And I didn't speak to anyone about this. I was 106 00:05:00,961 --> 00:05:04,641 Speaker 2: so embarrassed because no one talks about having these big episodes. Yeah, 107 00:05:05,241 --> 00:05:07,641 Speaker 2: it was a time where like the trolling was really 108 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 2: bad online. I was just not coping with life and 109 00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,841 Speaker 2: that's when I hired a life coach, and they really 110 00:05:12,841 --> 00:05:16,201 Speaker 2: helped give me tools and strategies to help when I 111 00:05:16,281 --> 00:05:18,641 Speaker 2: start to feel you can feel it coming on. You 112 00:05:18,681 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 2: can feel the shortness of your breath, you can feel 113 00:05:20,801 --> 00:05:24,561 Speaker 2: the sweating. You might get shaky, you can't think straight, 114 00:05:24,601 --> 00:05:28,721 Speaker 2: You're so focused on these thoughts, it just literally consumed you. 115 00:05:29,201 --> 00:05:31,161 Speaker 2: So they gave me tools and strategies so when I 116 00:05:31,161 --> 00:05:33,601 Speaker 2: can start to feel those triggers and signs come on, 117 00:05:34,161 --> 00:05:35,601 Speaker 2: that I can get a hold of them before they 118 00:05:35,641 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 2: get a hold of me. 119 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:37,401 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so good. 120 00:05:37,601 --> 00:05:40,721 Speaker 2: Yeah, continuing on over the last couple of years. Like 121 00:05:40,801 --> 00:05:43,161 Speaker 2: I would say, I am far from an anxious person now, 122 00:05:43,201 --> 00:05:45,841 Speaker 2: which is really cool to reflect back on. Takes me 123 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,481 Speaker 2: a lot to get anxious, and even if I get 124 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:51,281 Speaker 2: anxious thoughts, I'm very quick to like coach myself. You 125 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,041 Speaker 2: saw me the other day when something happened, put my 126 00:05:54,081 --> 00:05:56,601 Speaker 2: phone down. I was like literally said to myself in 127 00:05:56,641 --> 00:05:59,401 Speaker 2: my head, like you're safe, Tiger's not attacking you, You're okay. 128 00:05:59,481 --> 00:06:01,881 Speaker 2: Like I had to like calm myself down. Doesn't mean 129 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 2: that I wasn't right and I wasn't upset, but I 130 00:06:04,361 --> 00:06:06,521 Speaker 2: have to coach myself. So if I don't, I can 131 00:06:06,561 --> 00:06:07,721 Speaker 2: see myself spiraling. 132 00:06:07,841 --> 00:06:08,161 Speaker 1: Yeah. 133 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,721 Speaker 2: So the longer that I've worked on myself and I've 134 00:06:10,721 --> 00:06:13,321 Speaker 2: got these tools and strategies that have proven to work 135 00:06:13,361 --> 00:06:16,161 Speaker 2: for me, it's just gotten less and less and less. 136 00:06:16,521 --> 00:06:18,201 Speaker 2: So it's really cool to be in a phase just 137 00:06:18,241 --> 00:06:20,401 Speaker 2: where I'm at right now that I can take care 138 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,521 Speaker 2: of myself and not allow it to get that bad. 139 00:06:23,081 --> 00:06:25,801 Speaker 2: And one thing that really struck me was when the 140 00:06:25,841 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 2: doctor said to me, you have depression and you have 141 00:06:29,121 --> 00:06:34,121 Speaker 2: an anxiety disorder. That became my identity. That's who I was. 142 00:06:34,241 --> 00:06:36,281 Speaker 2: If you had asked who's actually, I'll be like, oh, 143 00:06:36,361 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 2: I'm depressed at the moment and I have anxiety, so 144 00:06:39,841 --> 00:06:41,681 Speaker 2: you probably won't want to hang out with me, and 145 00:06:41,721 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 2: I would like isolate as well. That was who I was. 146 00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:48,041 Speaker 2: Whereas now, if I ever feel I'm in a lower state, 147 00:06:48,201 --> 00:06:50,681 Speaker 2: and I know everyone's situation is different, I definitely believe 148 00:06:50,681 --> 00:06:54,241 Speaker 2: in depression and anxiety being a disorder for sure, But 149 00:06:54,401 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 2: now that I've worked through all of that, I will 150 00:06:56,921 --> 00:06:59,521 Speaker 2: say instead of saying I have anxiety or I feel 151 00:06:59,521 --> 00:07:01,081 Speaker 2: like I'm going to have an anxiety attack, I was like, 152 00:07:01,201 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 2: I'm having anxious thoughts because I'm worried about the future now. 153 00:07:05,681 --> 00:07:07,561 Speaker 2: I want to talk about that with whoever, or sit 154 00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:10,241 Speaker 2: with myself, or just regulate myself so I can calm 155 00:07:10,241 --> 00:07:14,121 Speaker 2: my nervous system and then see what I need to do. Yeah, 156 00:07:14,321 --> 00:07:17,441 Speaker 2: you know, And if I ever feel myself getting depressed thoughts, 157 00:07:17,481 --> 00:07:20,041 Speaker 2: it's because I'm going back in my past. Yeah, I'm 158 00:07:20,041 --> 00:07:22,041 Speaker 2: thinking about what's happened, and I'm going back to my 159 00:07:22,121 --> 00:07:26,601 Speaker 2: victim or I'm replaying situations in my head. And that's 160 00:07:26,601 --> 00:07:29,401 Speaker 2: when I also book sessions with a coach too. If 161 00:07:29,401 --> 00:07:31,161 Speaker 2: there's more things I need to talk about, I'll get 162 00:07:31,161 --> 00:07:33,361 Speaker 2: it out and I'll work through it. So that's kind 163 00:07:33,361 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 2: of been my journey with it. And it was really 164 00:07:35,761 --> 00:07:36,361 Speaker 2: really hard. 165 00:07:36,601 --> 00:07:38,121 Speaker 1: Yeah, that awful hard. 166 00:07:38,281 --> 00:07:39,521 Speaker 2: So she would I felt like I had no one 167 00:07:39,521 --> 00:07:42,721 Speaker 2: to talk about it with. I was so embarrassed, so embarrassed, 168 00:07:42,721 --> 00:07:45,641 Speaker 2: and I remember telling one of my girlfriends and her 169 00:07:45,681 --> 00:07:48,201 Speaker 2: reaction just shut me off even more. Not that she 170 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,921 Speaker 2: did anything wrong, but she was like, holy shit, she. 171 00:07:50,841 --> 00:07:51,681 Speaker 1: Had a big reaction. 172 00:07:51,801 --> 00:07:53,641 Speaker 2: It was a big reaction. It wasn't like I get 173 00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,681 Speaker 2: it here for you. It was like, oh my god, 174 00:07:55,761 --> 00:07:58,161 Speaker 2: you pull your hair. Yeah. I was like yeah, and 175 00:07:58,241 --> 00:07:59,721 Speaker 2: like scratch myself. She's like, oh my god, I was 176 00:07:59,721 --> 00:08:03,241 Speaker 2: wondering what these marks were in your arms from fuck, Okay, 177 00:08:03,321 --> 00:08:04,161 Speaker 2: what do you do about those? 178 00:08:04,281 --> 00:08:04,441 Speaker 3: Oh? 179 00:08:05,801 --> 00:08:06,801 Speaker 1: Like, I'm never telling anyone ever. 180 00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:08,721 Speaker 2: I was like, I am alone in this. I've never 181 00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,521 Speaker 2: heard anyone talk about this, So I just have to 182 00:08:10,601 --> 00:08:12,961 Speaker 2: hide this and be ashamed of it. And even Steve 183 00:08:13,001 --> 00:08:14,921 Speaker 2: I was so embarrassed, and I felt so bad that 184 00:08:15,001 --> 00:08:16,961 Speaker 2: he had to be there to witness all of that. 185 00:08:17,481 --> 00:08:18,041 Speaker 1: That was awful. 186 00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,361 Speaker 3: That was gonna be my next question. I was just 187 00:08:19,401 --> 00:08:21,521 Speaker 3: about to say, how is it for you to be 188 00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:22,641 Speaker 3: seen in that? By Steve? 189 00:08:23,281 --> 00:08:25,801 Speaker 2: I mean now, in hindslight, I'm like, Wow, he has 190 00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:28,961 Speaker 2: loved me at my absolute worst. He has seen me 191 00:08:29,281 --> 00:08:32,201 Speaker 2: like no one has ever seen me before, my most roorst, 192 00:08:32,321 --> 00:08:36,601 Speaker 2: most vulnerable, awful moments to reflect on, and he just 193 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,681 Speaker 2: held me in all of it, not once that he 194 00:08:38,721 --> 00:08:40,561 Speaker 2: put me down or anything. He would always speak to 195 00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,601 Speaker 2: me after about it and say, like, I get really 196 00:08:43,041 --> 00:08:45,201 Speaker 2: worried and scared when you get like that. I hate 197 00:08:45,201 --> 00:08:47,881 Speaker 2: seeing you do that to yourself. I would do anything 198 00:08:48,641 --> 00:08:51,201 Speaker 2: for you not to do that. Yeah, if we would 199 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,601 Speaker 2: like be in a huge argument sometimes I would get 200 00:08:53,641 --> 00:08:56,201 Speaker 2: like that, and I don't think that was nice for 201 00:08:56,281 --> 00:08:58,121 Speaker 2: him either, because then it would distract what we actually 202 00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,641 Speaker 2: needed to talk about. So then it would make him 203 00:08:59,681 --> 00:09:01,881 Speaker 2: scared to bring up that topic again in case I 204 00:09:01,921 --> 00:09:04,041 Speaker 2: got really worked up. I see yeah, And once he 205 00:09:04,121 --> 00:09:07,441 Speaker 2: highlighted that, I was like, oh, yeah, I don't want 206 00:09:07,441 --> 00:09:08,721 Speaker 2: to do that, because how is he ever going to 207 00:09:08,721 --> 00:09:11,441 Speaker 2: feel safe to come to me and open up this conversation. 208 00:09:11,561 --> 00:09:13,281 Speaker 2: He's just going to have to sweep everything in case 209 00:09:13,321 --> 00:09:15,401 Speaker 2: I have an anxiety attack, And I was like, I 210 00:09:15,401 --> 00:09:17,721 Speaker 2: don't want my relationship to be like that. So that 211 00:09:17,761 --> 00:09:19,841 Speaker 2: was a really big wake up call and just more 212 00:09:19,921 --> 00:09:23,481 Speaker 2: motivation for me to want to focus my nervous system 213 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,441 Speaker 2: regulation daily, not just when it gets bad, not when 214 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:29,121 Speaker 2: I'm getting my period, not when life gets hard. Day 215 00:09:29,161 --> 00:09:31,481 Speaker 2: to day. I worry about how much water I drink, 216 00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:34,081 Speaker 2: if I'm getting enough nutrients, if I'm taking my supplements. 217 00:09:34,361 --> 00:09:37,361 Speaker 2: Where's my nervous system at, where's my battery at? Do 218 00:09:37,401 --> 00:09:39,241 Speaker 2: I need to plug in? If I need to plug 219 00:09:39,281 --> 00:09:41,561 Speaker 2: out from everyone? What do I need right now to 220 00:09:41,641 --> 00:09:43,801 Speaker 2: keep myself in the best state to be able to 221 00:09:43,801 --> 00:09:46,481 Speaker 2: handle and manage whatever I need to handle and manage 222 00:09:46,521 --> 00:09:48,641 Speaker 2: because life's never going to be like this. It's always 223 00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:52,321 Speaker 2: up and down. So so many learnings have come so far, 224 00:09:52,561 --> 00:09:56,681 Speaker 2: but I would never go on medication again. Personally, for myself, 225 00:09:56,761 --> 00:09:59,481 Speaker 2: I didn't find it helped me at all. It just 226 00:09:59,561 --> 00:10:02,281 Speaker 2: numbed me. But short term and long term I don't 227 00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:04,801 Speaker 2: think that benefited me. Yeah, Whereas I do know some 228 00:10:05,041 --> 00:10:07,081 Speaker 2: people that need to be on it and are on 229 00:10:07,161 --> 00:10:09,601 Speaker 2: it and it's made them feel a lot better and 230 00:10:09,721 --> 00:10:12,321 Speaker 2: it stopped them having suicidal thoughts and they're able to 231 00:10:12,881 --> 00:10:15,281 Speaker 2: live their life and be peaceful. And I'm like, awesome, 232 00:10:15,441 --> 00:10:18,601 Speaker 2: Yeah that works for you. Great. So that's why we 233 00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:20,441 Speaker 2: said it start. It's not a one size fits all. 234 00:10:20,681 --> 00:10:23,521 Speaker 2: But for me personally, I didn't feel the medication that 235 00:10:23,561 --> 00:10:24,761 Speaker 2: I was put on was good for me. 236 00:10:24,961 --> 00:10:25,241 Speaker 1: Yeah. 237 00:10:25,321 --> 00:10:26,921 Speaker 2: I don't want to ever numb out. I want to 238 00:10:26,921 --> 00:10:29,961 Speaker 2: feel the depth of the pain because that represents how 239 00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:33,881 Speaker 2: much I loved something or someone. You know, when I'm 240 00:10:33,921 --> 00:10:36,401 Speaker 2: feeling something, it's because I care about it so much. 241 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,641 Speaker 2: If I'm numbed or don't give a shit about something, 242 00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,241 Speaker 2: and I don't give a shit about it, but if 243 00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:42,081 Speaker 2: I'm feeling it, because it shows how much I care 244 00:10:42,401 --> 00:10:45,241 Speaker 2: and I'm a very caring person, you know, So I 245 00:10:45,281 --> 00:10:46,961 Speaker 2: don't ever want to numb any of that out. I 246 00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:49,241 Speaker 2: kind of welcome that in now because I feel like 247 00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:49,881 Speaker 2: I can hold it. 248 00:10:50,081 --> 00:10:50,921 Speaker 1: Oh, I love that. 249 00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:52,761 Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like we should just end the episode there, 250 00:10:52,761 --> 00:10:53,761 Speaker 3: because fucking mic drop. 251 00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:54,961 Speaker 2: No, I want to hear yours. 252 00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:56,801 Speaker 1: No, everything you just said, you just had. 253 00:10:56,921 --> 00:10:58,761 Speaker 3: I was thinking as you're talking, just towards the end, 254 00:10:58,801 --> 00:11:00,721 Speaker 3: and I was like, fuck, I'm so sucked into like just. 255 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:03,121 Speaker 1: Hearing this story and your experience in that. 256 00:11:03,201 --> 00:11:05,681 Speaker 2: I think I've shared that with you before, having this depth. 257 00:11:05,721 --> 00:11:08,521 Speaker 3: No, we've spoken about panic attacks for sure. Yeah, that's 258 00:11:08,641 --> 00:11:09,401 Speaker 3: really incredible. 259 00:11:09,481 --> 00:11:11,561 Speaker 2: Thank you. It's in the long journey. But I'm definitely 260 00:11:11,561 --> 00:11:13,601 Speaker 2: proud to be at the other side, that's for sure. Yeah, 261 00:11:13,601 --> 00:11:15,641 Speaker 2: and so stoked that I can show my kids how 262 00:11:15,681 --> 00:11:18,561 Speaker 2: to manage life without it getting that bad. Yeah, you 263 00:11:18,601 --> 00:11:21,601 Speaker 2: know your journey, tell me all about yours. 264 00:11:21,961 --> 00:11:25,481 Speaker 3: Oh, my journey was more around the time where I had, 265 00:11:25,521 --> 00:11:27,641 Speaker 3: like the sex tape happened. So when that kind of 266 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:31,761 Speaker 3: experience happened, it was like the first trigger of experiencing. 267 00:11:31,321 --> 00:11:32,361 Speaker 1: Panic attacks for me. 268 00:11:32,641 --> 00:11:34,801 Speaker 3: So in that time I was in a very low 269 00:11:34,921 --> 00:11:37,761 Speaker 3: state mentally though, so I was not in a good 270 00:11:37,761 --> 00:11:41,161 Speaker 3: way mentally. I was struggling. I had suicidal thoughts. I 271 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,881 Speaker 3: felt quite depressed. I think I labeled myself this is 272 00:11:43,881 --> 00:11:47,921 Speaker 3: like high functioning anxiety or like high functioning depression. Like 273 00:11:47,921 --> 00:11:50,521 Speaker 3: that's how I saw myself in that point, Yeah, because 274 00:11:50,521 --> 00:11:53,081 Speaker 3: I was feeling all these things behind closed doors, but 275 00:11:53,161 --> 00:11:55,121 Speaker 3: on the forefront, it looked like I was doing so much. 276 00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:57,641 Speaker 2: You could still functioning, do everything you need to do. 277 00:11:57,601 --> 00:12:00,241 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it was like my heart was aching and 278 00:12:00,321 --> 00:12:03,041 Speaker 3: like my thoughts were eating away at me. And I 279 00:12:03,081 --> 00:12:07,081 Speaker 3: just remember when that first happened and having an almost 280 00:12:07,081 --> 00:12:09,561 Speaker 3: panic attack. It wasn't like a bull on panic attack, 281 00:12:09,601 --> 00:12:12,761 Speaker 3: but it was like enough that like I couldn't regulate 282 00:12:12,801 --> 00:12:15,121 Speaker 3: myself for a few hours. Like I was in that 283 00:12:15,161 --> 00:12:16,841 Speaker 3: state of like I don't know what to do, and 284 00:12:16,881 --> 00:12:18,081 Speaker 3: I don't know who to call, and I don't know 285 00:12:18,121 --> 00:12:19,561 Speaker 3: who can help me. It was like when I just 286 00:12:19,601 --> 00:12:21,881 Speaker 3: found out about the video being released, and I was 287 00:12:21,881 --> 00:12:23,841 Speaker 3: sitting in the bottom of my shower and I was 288 00:12:25,081 --> 00:12:27,681 Speaker 3: like just so overwhelmed emotionally, like I was crying and 289 00:12:27,721 --> 00:12:30,281 Speaker 3: I was shaking, and like my whole body was responding, 290 00:12:30,321 --> 00:12:32,081 Speaker 3: but I didn't know how to stop it, and it 291 00:12:32,121 --> 00:12:33,961 Speaker 3: was just like that for like a literally like a 292 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,441 Speaker 3: couple of hours, and I was like, there's nothing that 293 00:12:36,481 --> 00:12:38,481 Speaker 3: I know how to do or how to stop this 294 00:12:38,601 --> 00:12:42,001 Speaker 3: because I'd never experienced it before. My nervous system was 295 00:12:42,081 --> 00:12:45,601 Speaker 3: so dysregulated, my breath was so short, and I just 296 00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:47,921 Speaker 3: I couldn't turn twenty one, didn't feel like I could 297 00:12:47,921 --> 00:12:51,001 Speaker 3: turn twenty body, didn't have anybody necessarily to call to 298 00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:53,441 Speaker 3: be like, hey, this is what's happening, because I was 299 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,801 Speaker 3: just like, this is something that like I should be 300 00:12:55,881 --> 00:12:57,761 Speaker 3: shameful of, Like I shouldn't. 301 00:12:57,321 --> 00:12:58,161 Speaker 1: Be experiencing this. 302 00:12:58,521 --> 00:13:01,281 Speaker 3: And so after that, I kind of fell into party 303 00:13:01,401 --> 00:13:04,521 Speaker 3: and drugs and that sort of stuff to cope, to cope, yeah, 304 00:13:04,681 --> 00:13:08,681 Speaker 3: to like numb myself out, and to kind of get 305 00:13:08,681 --> 00:13:11,281 Speaker 3: the confidence back that I had lost when I was sober. 306 00:13:11,721 --> 00:13:15,001 Speaker 3: So through that experience, it was just me, you know, 307 00:13:15,081 --> 00:13:17,161 Speaker 3: this care free version of myself came out when I 308 00:13:17,201 --> 00:13:19,921 Speaker 3: was drinking. But then what the aftermath of that was 309 00:13:20,041 --> 00:13:23,721 Speaker 3: more panic attacks. Was me coming down for two weeks 310 00:13:23,721 --> 00:13:26,281 Speaker 3: at a time and just being in a fucking absolute 311 00:13:26,361 --> 00:13:29,841 Speaker 3: mess of a state mentally in that place, and then 312 00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:32,041 Speaker 3: that leading to panic attacks, and so it. 313 00:13:32,041 --> 00:13:33,241 Speaker 1: Would become like more freaking. 314 00:13:33,281 --> 00:13:34,961 Speaker 3: It was only like over a couple of month period 315 00:13:35,001 --> 00:13:37,041 Speaker 3: when I was in like a really hectic party stage, 316 00:13:37,081 --> 00:13:37,281 Speaker 3: it was. 317 00:13:37,241 --> 00:13:38,361 Speaker 1: Like it would bring it on more. 318 00:13:38,921 --> 00:13:41,961 Speaker 3: I remember every single time feeling like I couldn't share 319 00:13:41,961 --> 00:13:44,001 Speaker 3: it with anybody because I was just I felt so 320 00:13:44,121 --> 00:13:44,881 Speaker 3: isolated in it. 321 00:13:45,161 --> 00:13:45,881 Speaker 2: Lonely, isn't it. 322 00:13:45,921 --> 00:13:47,481 Speaker 3: I felt like no one could relate to what I 323 00:13:47,521 --> 00:13:49,721 Speaker 3: was going through, so I didn't know how to explain 324 00:13:50,081 --> 00:13:52,361 Speaker 3: how I was feeling and what it was doing to 325 00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:54,921 Speaker 3: me and my mind, my nervous system. Like at the time, 326 00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,121 Speaker 3: I didn't have the words. I didn't know how to 327 00:13:57,161 --> 00:13:58,761 Speaker 3: describe that or explain that. 328 00:13:59,601 --> 00:14:01,681 Speaker 2: Did you ever go on medication? Did your doctor ever 329 00:14:01,801 --> 00:14:02,641 Speaker 2: say to no? 330 00:14:02,881 --> 00:14:07,001 Speaker 3: So I didn't go on medication. But my family just 331 00:14:07,041 --> 00:14:10,481 Speaker 3: have always kind of just been more natural, holistic side 332 00:14:10,521 --> 00:14:12,841 Speaker 3: of things sort of things. So it wasn't really my 333 00:14:12,921 --> 00:14:15,801 Speaker 3: first option. I had considered it at one point, but 334 00:14:15,881 --> 00:14:18,001 Speaker 3: I just for me, I was like, no, it's just 335 00:14:18,041 --> 00:14:20,121 Speaker 3: not an option. So I kind of just I got 336 00:14:20,161 --> 00:14:21,881 Speaker 3: stuck in it for a while. I got stuck in 337 00:14:21,921 --> 00:14:23,961 Speaker 3: my own mindset. I really felt like a victim in 338 00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:25,761 Speaker 3: that point in my life as well, because I felt 339 00:14:26,001 --> 00:14:28,521 Speaker 3: sorry for myself that I had to go through that experience, 340 00:14:28,561 --> 00:14:32,081 Speaker 3: and then with the anxiety that had come from that 341 00:14:32,201 --> 00:14:34,801 Speaker 3: of like social anxiety and not wanting to meet new people, 342 00:14:34,921 --> 00:14:38,841 Speaker 3: and also yeah, just feeling like I'd gotten myself into 343 00:14:38,881 --> 00:14:40,921 Speaker 3: this situation that I couldn't get myself out of. And 344 00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:44,641 Speaker 3: I was just like, life is shit, you know, life 345 00:14:44,681 --> 00:14:44,921 Speaker 3: is shit. 346 00:14:45,001 --> 00:14:45,641 Speaker 1: This is not fun. 347 00:14:45,681 --> 00:14:48,121 Speaker 3: I feel dull. I feel like a shell of a 348 00:14:48,241 --> 00:14:51,041 Speaker 3: human of myself. And it was like the lights are on, 349 00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:52,921 Speaker 3: but no one's home. It's like I'm knocking and no 350 00:14:52,961 --> 00:14:55,441 Speaker 3: one's there. And that's how it felt. It was like 351 00:14:55,481 --> 00:14:58,241 Speaker 3: an empty body. It felt like that for a little while. 352 00:14:58,681 --> 00:15:02,241 Speaker 3: But yeah, so I think after that I really leant 353 00:15:02,241 --> 00:15:05,961 Speaker 3: into training and walking. Think that's why health is such 354 00:15:05,961 --> 00:15:08,281 Speaker 3: a huge part of my journey now, because it was 355 00:15:08,321 --> 00:15:10,041 Speaker 3: a thing that really helped me get out of really 356 00:15:10,081 --> 00:15:13,761 Speaker 3: hard times. And whilst I didn't choose at the time 357 00:15:13,841 --> 00:15:17,201 Speaker 3: to go on medication, and that wasn't the route that 358 00:15:17,241 --> 00:15:19,361 Speaker 3: I wanted to go down. The immediate thing that I 359 00:15:19,361 --> 00:15:21,481 Speaker 3: wanted to do was like, go find a psychologist because 360 00:15:21,481 --> 00:15:23,321 Speaker 3: I was like, well, it's clear to me, and it 361 00:15:23,361 --> 00:15:25,321 Speaker 3: had been like six months or so or however, long, 362 00:15:25,601 --> 00:15:26,801 Speaker 3: and I was like, it's clear to me that I 363 00:15:26,841 --> 00:15:28,521 Speaker 3: can't get myself out of this and I don't have 364 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,681 Speaker 3: the tools and resources to know how. And I was like, 365 00:15:31,201 --> 00:15:33,161 Speaker 3: but I know that I want more for myself. I 366 00:15:33,241 --> 00:15:35,841 Speaker 3: recognize that right now, I feel really stuck and I 367 00:15:35,881 --> 00:15:39,201 Speaker 3: feel stagnant and I feel like a victim. But I 368 00:15:39,281 --> 00:15:41,721 Speaker 3: don't know what steps to take. I can't see not 369 00:15:41,801 --> 00:15:44,081 Speaker 3: even the next step out of this. So it was like, 370 00:15:44,121 --> 00:15:47,241 Speaker 3: I need someone with outside context who can kind of 371 00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:49,321 Speaker 3: help pull me or at least guide me in the 372 00:15:49,361 --> 00:15:51,601 Speaker 3: direction of like where to go. And I was so 373 00:15:51,641 --> 00:15:53,521 Speaker 3: desperate for that, Like I was like, I don't fucking 374 00:15:53,521 --> 00:15:55,201 Speaker 3: care who gives it to me. Just someone helped me, 375 00:15:55,841 --> 00:15:59,601 Speaker 3: you know. And then I went to a psychologist. I 376 00:15:59,721 --> 00:16:01,881 Speaker 3: just felt like judged and shamed and like what I 377 00:16:01,921 --> 00:16:04,321 Speaker 3: was going through wasn't a big enough deal or problem 378 00:16:04,361 --> 00:16:06,121 Speaker 3: because she'd probably dealt with people who are worse. 379 00:16:06,201 --> 00:16:08,521 Speaker 1: Could have been a projection, yes, but that's how I 380 00:16:08,841 --> 00:16:09,601 Speaker 1: left feeling. 381 00:16:10,201 --> 00:16:12,081 Speaker 3: And then I just hired a life coach and I 382 00:16:12,081 --> 00:16:14,361 Speaker 3: stayed with her for like three four years and never 383 00:16:14,361 --> 00:16:17,881 Speaker 3: looked back. That was the trajectory of changing my life 384 00:16:17,921 --> 00:16:22,041 Speaker 3: and what was really helpful for me was to do 385 00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:25,281 Speaker 3: this self inquiry work, but also to not label myself. 386 00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:28,121 Speaker 3: Like what you said about the identity thing, I would 387 00:16:28,201 --> 00:16:30,681 Speaker 3: really cling on to things like that, so I'd be like, 388 00:16:30,681 --> 00:16:33,121 Speaker 3: oh my god, I've got fucking high functioning anxiety or 389 00:16:33,161 --> 00:16:36,681 Speaker 3: I've got depression, and then like I would run with that, 390 00:16:36,921 --> 00:16:37,601 Speaker 3: yes you. 391 00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,481 Speaker 2: Know, and then it limits you, hey, because you feel 392 00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:41,321 Speaker 2: like you can't do anything because well, I've got depressions. 393 00:16:41,561 --> 00:16:42,241 Speaker 2: How can I do that? 394 00:16:42,241 --> 00:16:44,041 Speaker 3: That's exactly what I did. Yeah, I was like, well, 395 00:16:44,041 --> 00:16:46,001 Speaker 3: I'm depressed because I just had X y Z happen. 396 00:16:46,321 --> 00:16:48,361 Speaker 3: I'm not allowed to be happy. I'm not allowed to 397 00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:50,641 Speaker 3: experience things. I'm not allowed to go after my dreams. 398 00:16:50,641 --> 00:16:52,521 Speaker 3: I'm not allowed to do any of these things because 399 00:16:52,561 --> 00:16:55,961 Speaker 3: someone with depression doesn't do that. Yes, as humans, we 400 00:16:56,041 --> 00:16:58,321 Speaker 3: like to label ourselves, and not in a bad way, but. 401 00:16:58,281 --> 00:16:59,841 Speaker 1: Because we like to feel like we belong. 402 00:17:00,001 --> 00:17:00,321 Speaker 2: Yes. 403 00:17:00,601 --> 00:17:02,841 Speaker 3: So what I've seen, even as a coach myself, is 404 00:17:02,881 --> 00:17:04,840 Speaker 3: that we will tend to label ourselves and put ourselves 405 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,041 Speaker 3: into categories because we go Well, at least I know 406 00:17:07,121 --> 00:17:08,521 Speaker 3: I belong here and it feels certain. 407 00:17:08,881 --> 00:17:10,160 Speaker 1: That makes me feel comfortable. 408 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,880 Speaker 3: But what I've also noticed is that it can be 409 00:17:12,921 --> 00:17:15,521 Speaker 3: unproductive as well, and so at least again for me 410 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,400 Speaker 3: in my own journey, it was unproductive for me to 411 00:17:17,441 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 3: do that. So now what I teach for my clients 412 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,321 Speaker 3: is to not label themselves at all. Like, if they 413 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,640 Speaker 3: come in with labels, I'm like, that can be true, 414 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 3: but we're not going to use the language. We're just 415 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,600 Speaker 3: going to cut the language out and we're going to 416 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,120 Speaker 3: focus on XYZ and then we'll see how we go 417 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,921 Speaker 3: in twelve weeks time. Yeah. Yeah. It was a lot 418 00:17:33,961 --> 00:17:39,640 Speaker 3: of mindset reprogramming, nervous system regulation, reprogramming, the stories and 419 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,561 Speaker 3: beliefs that I had about myself of who I was 420 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:45,200 Speaker 3: and what I get to have, and a lot of 421 00:17:45,241 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 3: transformation of how I really saw myself instead of like 422 00:17:48,521 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 3: boxing myself into the way that I was behaving or 423 00:17:51,441 --> 00:17:55,121 Speaker 3: how my nervous system was reacting to certain situations or 424 00:17:55,201 --> 00:17:57,441 Speaker 3: even the thoughts that I was having in my mind 425 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,360 Speaker 3: that were damaging and taking myself down like a really 426 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,761 Speaker 3: bad path. It was retraining myself to behave in a 427 00:18:04,761 --> 00:18:08,640 Speaker 3: different way, you know, to think different thoughts, to choose 428 00:18:08,681 --> 00:18:11,400 Speaker 3: different behavior, to acknowledge the behavior that I was choosing, 429 00:18:11,441 --> 00:18:14,681 Speaker 3: and go Okay, what didn't work here, what ended up 430 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:18,121 Speaker 3: with a negative result, what ended up with a negative consequence, 431 00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:21,481 Speaker 3: what ended up with a positive one, and then categorizing 432 00:18:21,481 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 3: those and going, Okay, this is the direction that I 433 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,161 Speaker 3: actually want to go in and implementing those behaviors whilst 434 00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:30,041 Speaker 3: doing the mindset work on top of that, and also 435 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:32,400 Speaker 3: just being really fucking gentle with myself. Yeah, you know, 436 00:18:33,241 --> 00:18:35,801 Speaker 3: so letting go of the part of me that punishes myself. 437 00:18:35,961 --> 00:18:38,400 Speaker 3: I'm still guilty of that today, Like I still can 438 00:18:38,441 --> 00:18:44,961 Speaker 3: clock the parts of a human Yeah. 439 00:18:42,801 --> 00:18:44,201 Speaker 1: Yeah, I have to clock that. 440 00:18:44,201 --> 00:18:47,120 Speaker 3: That's been a huge thing for me, especially with the 441 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,480 Speaker 3: sex tape, you know, and experience is similar to that. 442 00:18:49,801 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 3: I've punished myself a lot for behaviors that I've done, 443 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,321 Speaker 3: which has kept me in that mental state. It's kept 444 00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:58,880 Speaker 3: me in my own mental prison. Has it allowed me 445 00:18:58,921 --> 00:19:01,360 Speaker 3: to get out, hasn't allowed me to think differently. So 446 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:04,361 Speaker 3: it's looking at the ways where I was keeping myself 447 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,361 Speaker 3: in that box because that I didn't want to be in, 448 00:19:06,721 --> 00:19:10,201 Speaker 3: and going okay, how am I limiting myself from growing 449 00:19:10,241 --> 00:19:14,201 Speaker 3: beyond this place, and then constantly just referring back to that, Okay, cool, 450 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,761 Speaker 3: what's not working, How am I limiting myself? 451 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,640 Speaker 1: What's not working? What can I do better? 452 00:19:18,961 --> 00:19:22,801 Speaker 3: And just constantly reiterating that process. You know, when I 453 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,521 Speaker 3: look back at like the person I was at one point, 454 00:19:25,561 --> 00:19:27,761 Speaker 3: I really didn't love who I was. I wasn't proud 455 00:19:27,801 --> 00:19:31,201 Speaker 3: of myself. I didn't think I was a valuable, contributing 456 00:19:31,681 --> 00:19:34,680 Speaker 3: member of society. Like there were so many things, you know, 457 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:37,680 Speaker 3: and so to go from that version of myself to 458 00:19:37,961 --> 00:19:41,440 Speaker 3: who I am today, it's the wide contrast of a 459 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 3: different version of myself, you know, and it does takes 460 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,640 Speaker 3: a lot of conscious effort to get there, but it's 461 00:19:46,721 --> 00:19:50,161 Speaker 3: so rewarding. And no matter how stuck that you might 462 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:54,001 Speaker 3: feel that you are right now, there is always light at. 463 00:19:53,921 --> 00:19:55,281 Speaker 1: The end of the time, you know. 464 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,321 Speaker 2: And whether you're on medication or not, or whether you're 465 00:19:58,321 --> 00:20:00,681 Speaker 2: thinking about going on medication or not. This is for 466 00:20:01,041 --> 00:20:03,360 Speaker 2: everyone that's feeling in a low state and going through 467 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,761 Speaker 2: stuff you cannot underest to make the power of taking 468 00:20:06,761 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 2: care of your body. I know when I was like 469 00:20:09,201 --> 00:20:11,001 Speaker 2: really sad and going through things, and people would say, 470 00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:12,440 Speaker 2: oh my god, just make sure you're eating real val 471 00:20:12,521 --> 00:20:14,400 Speaker 2: and you're moving your body and you're leaning on the 472 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 2: people around you. It sounds just general advice, it's actually 473 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,640 Speaker 2: so important. If you're not fueling your body with the 474 00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:23,761 Speaker 2: right nutrients. There's literally supplements to help support your nervous 475 00:20:23,761 --> 00:20:26,881 Speaker 2: system as well, and putting your hand up asking for help. 476 00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:30,041 Speaker 2: When I had suicidal thoughts, I had to say I 477 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 2: need help otherwise I'm out. I'm tapping out. I can't 478 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,961 Speaker 2: do this anymore for me. There is no light in 479 00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 2: the end of the tunnel. This is not going to stop, 480 00:20:38,201 --> 00:20:39,720 Speaker 2: this is not going to go away, and I cannot 481 00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:41,641 Speaker 2: live my life like this. So I had to put 482 00:20:41,681 --> 00:20:43,881 Speaker 2: my hand up and get a lot of help. It's 483 00:20:43,921 --> 00:20:46,400 Speaker 2: also finding the right person to help you too, because 484 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:49,120 Speaker 2: I had a similar experience with psychologists when I first 485 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,161 Speaker 2: started getting a lot of hate online and I wasn't 486 00:20:51,201 --> 00:20:53,881 Speaker 2: coping with that. I went to three different ones. Two 487 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 2: of them didn't even know what snapchat was, so like, Oh, 488 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,360 Speaker 2: can't you just block and delete the comments? Oh? I 489 00:20:59,441 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 2: was like, if it was that easy, I wouldn't be 490 00:21:02,001 --> 00:21:06,001 Speaker 2: coming it right now, and I just walked away. After 491 00:21:06,041 --> 00:21:08,521 Speaker 2: my hour that was ticked off, paid two hundred and 492 00:21:08,521 --> 00:21:10,721 Speaker 2: sixty dollars or whatever. I was like, I got nothing 493 00:21:10,761 --> 00:21:14,200 Speaker 2: out of that. Yeah, whereas I found for me personally, 494 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 2: life coaches were just game changes. I felt like I 495 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,721 Speaker 2: was talking to a real person that wanted to get 496 00:21:18,721 --> 00:21:20,761 Speaker 2: to know me. It wasn't you're out of here after 497 00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:22,960 Speaker 2: your hour. We're gonna sit here until you need me, 498 00:21:23,481 --> 00:21:24,841 Speaker 2: and we're going to go all of this. And they 499 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 2: tell stories of their life and their experience, and I 500 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,880 Speaker 2: didn't feel alone. I felt like they got me. They 501 00:21:29,961 --> 00:21:32,801 Speaker 2: related this past client had gone through something similar. I 502 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,321 Speaker 2: was like, oh my gosh, I fucking get it. Yeah, Okay, 503 00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,241 Speaker 2: if I've got some of that understands where I'm at, 504 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,240 Speaker 2: they know how to help me. They can sort me 505 00:21:39,281 --> 00:21:42,600 Speaker 2: through this. There's light And that first session I had 506 00:21:42,721 --> 00:21:44,960 Speaker 2: just gave me that little glimmer of hope, yeah, that 507 00:21:45,001 --> 00:21:47,640 Speaker 2: I needed to get through another day without ending my life. 508 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,200 Speaker 2: It was game changing. 509 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:49,961 Speaker 1: That's so good. 510 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:50,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 511 00:21:50,521 --> 00:21:53,840 Speaker 2: So just yeah, don't underestimate the power of seeking help, 512 00:21:53,961 --> 00:21:56,561 Speaker 2: finding the right person, taking care of your body, getting 513 00:21:56,561 --> 00:21:59,680 Speaker 2: out in sunshine, surrounding yourself with the right people. Your 514 00:21:59,801 --> 00:22:02,921 Speaker 2: environment is so important, so important. 515 00:22:02,961 --> 00:22:04,401 Speaker 1: What you just said is so true as well. 516 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,120 Speaker 3: It just reminds me of my experience when I first 517 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,440 Speaker 3: reached out to a life coach. It's not always an 518 00:22:09,441 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 3: easy decision to make. So it sounds all good and 519 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,721 Speaker 3: well for us to share these things, but we both 520 00:22:13,801 --> 00:22:16,840 Speaker 3: in our own experience, have had to go through that 521 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,760 Speaker 3: moment of making that decision. And I remember being on 522 00:22:19,801 --> 00:22:21,920 Speaker 3: a Discovery call with the first Life coach and she 523 00:22:22,001 --> 00:22:24,281 Speaker 3: asked me what my top three roadblocks were. 524 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I basically gave her my whole life story. 525 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,880 Speaker 3: And then I remember getting off the call and being like, 526 00:22:28,921 --> 00:22:30,880 Speaker 3: I just fucking told a random stranger and my whole 527 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,640 Speaker 3: fucking life. What if she tells everyone in the town. 528 00:22:32,721 --> 00:22:35,521 Speaker 3: Because my fear of my lack of trust fathers was 529 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,360 Speaker 3: so in the forefront that I was so terrified that 530 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 3: something was going to go wrong. But it was like, 531 00:22:40,561 --> 00:22:43,640 Speaker 3: it's just being willing to push through the fear that 532 00:22:43,681 --> 00:22:46,801 Speaker 3: your mind brings to you when you're trying to better yourself, 533 00:22:46,921 --> 00:22:49,120 Speaker 3: because there's going to be resistance, there's going to be fear, 534 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:51,440 Speaker 3: But if you can see that, there will be a 535 00:22:51,521 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 3: much greater purpose on the other side of you making 536 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:57,241 Speaker 3: this decision, and in your heart, you know you deserve more, 537 00:22:57,241 --> 00:22:59,201 Speaker 3: You get to be more, There is more out there 538 00:22:59,241 --> 00:23:01,801 Speaker 3: for you. You will be so much better off. So 539 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:05,641 Speaker 3: true yeah, and something as well like to at least 540 00:23:05,681 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 3: for me when I went through that period. And this 541 00:23:08,041 --> 00:23:10,121 Speaker 3: doesn't have to be true, this is just my opinion. 542 00:23:10,521 --> 00:23:14,160 Speaker 3: I truly believe that sometimes depression is just stored energy. 543 00:23:14,921 --> 00:23:18,720 Speaker 3: It's like the inability to process experiences that it stores 544 00:23:18,761 --> 00:23:21,561 Speaker 3: and it stacks up and it comes out in that energy. 545 00:23:22,001 --> 00:23:23,840 Speaker 3: I don't know if this all makes sense to some people. 546 00:23:23,961 --> 00:23:26,001 Speaker 3: You guys might have a totally different opinion than me. 547 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,281 Speaker 3: But for me, when I was building up all of 548 00:23:29,281 --> 00:23:32,280 Speaker 3: those emotions and I wasn't processing anything, I felt the 549 00:23:32,281 --> 00:23:35,401 Speaker 3: most depressed that I'd ever felt because I felt stuck. 550 00:23:35,521 --> 00:23:37,120 Speaker 3: I didn't know how to move the energy. I didn't 551 00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:39,441 Speaker 3: know how to process the emotion. I didn't even know. 552 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,281 Speaker 1: How to feel what I was feeling. 553 00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:43,960 Speaker 3: And then when I had tools and resources to be 554 00:23:43,961 --> 00:23:47,201 Speaker 3: able to move that emotion and store trauma for my body. 555 00:23:47,281 --> 00:23:50,761 Speaker 1: I felt like a feather. I felt so light. 556 00:23:50,921 --> 00:23:51,680 Speaker 2: I felt like I've. 557 00:23:51,561 --> 00:23:54,561 Speaker 3: Been carrying around a two ton bag of bricks on 558 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,561 Speaker 3: my back for the last six months. And then when 559 00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:59,880 Speaker 3: I finally let that go, I was like, oh, I 560 00:23:59,921 --> 00:24:00,761 Speaker 3: can breathe again. 561 00:24:01,041 --> 00:24:03,481 Speaker 2: So cool. So I kind of agree in the sense 562 00:24:03,561 --> 00:24:06,360 Speaker 2: I remember Tony Robins always refer back Tony Robins because 563 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,561 Speaker 2: you honestly changed my life with his courses. But I 564 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,761 Speaker 2: remember him explaining that with depression too, an anxiety and anything, 565 00:24:11,801 --> 00:24:14,521 Speaker 2: it's the ability to be able to change your state. Yeah, 566 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,400 Speaker 2: if you can change your physical body and your physical state, 567 00:24:17,441 --> 00:24:19,440 Speaker 2: it'll get you out of your head. And I remember 568 00:24:19,521 --> 00:24:22,041 Speaker 2: one life coach told me when I started to feel anxious, 569 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,440 Speaker 2: to run my hands under cold water or get ice 570 00:24:25,921 --> 00:24:27,880 Speaker 2: and put it on my wrist or on my forehead. 571 00:24:28,481 --> 00:24:30,400 Speaker 2: And that's why cold plunging is really good for people 572 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,321 Speaker 2: with anxiety, because when you're in freezing cold water, or 573 00:24:33,321 --> 00:24:36,160 Speaker 2: you're holding ice or putting your face in a bowl 574 00:24:36,241 --> 00:24:38,480 Speaker 2: of ice, you're not thinking about what you're anxious. 575 00:24:38,481 --> 00:24:39,360 Speaker 1: And that's so true. 576 00:24:39,481 --> 00:24:42,041 Speaker 2: You are completely focused on how fucking cold you are, 577 00:24:42,441 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 2: and you either breathe and get through it or you 578 00:24:45,041 --> 00:24:47,440 Speaker 2: run away. That's normally what happens when you're in that 579 00:24:47,481 --> 00:24:49,360 Speaker 2: state of panic. What do you do and how you 580 00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:53,160 Speaker 2: show up? Me having a past of anxiety, getting in 581 00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:56,680 Speaker 2: cold plunges, I panic and I want to get up 582 00:24:56,681 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 2: and run. That is my work to be able to 583 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,880 Speaker 2: sit in the discomfort and learn how to breathe and 584 00:25:01,961 --> 00:25:04,640 Speaker 2: know that I'm going to be okay. Yeah, but having 585 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:07,561 Speaker 2: a action that changes your state, like cold therapy is 586 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,081 Speaker 2: amazing for people that get really anxious, Oh so good. 587 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,201 Speaker 2: Even if I ever have depressed thoughts. Now I'm not depressed, 588 00:25:13,201 --> 00:25:15,321 Speaker 2: but if I ever get myself a need depressed state, 589 00:25:15,761 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 2: if I'm going through something really really heavy, there is 590 00:25:18,721 --> 00:25:20,841 Speaker 2: lots of different things that change my state. And it's 591 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 2: not numbing out. It's just changing my states that I 592 00:25:22,961 --> 00:25:25,601 Speaker 2: can see a bit clearer or just pull myself out 593 00:25:25,681 --> 00:25:28,761 Speaker 2: of the dark hole that I'm spiraling into. And sometimes 594 00:25:28,761 --> 00:25:31,561 Speaker 2: it's putting something funny on the TV. Yes, sometimes it's 595 00:25:31,561 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 2: being around a certain friend that just like changes my energy. 596 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,321 Speaker 2: It makes me see things from a different perspective. Maybe 597 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,120 Speaker 2: it's self pleasure. There's lots of different ways that can 598 00:25:40,201 --> 00:25:42,400 Speaker 2: just change your state, get you out of your head, 599 00:25:42,681 --> 00:25:45,561 Speaker 2: back in your body, back regulated, and now go, Okay, 600 00:25:45,961 --> 00:25:48,001 Speaker 2: what's in front of me? What's true? What do I 601 00:25:48,041 --> 00:25:49,880 Speaker 2: do with this? What do I want to do with this? 602 00:25:49,921 --> 00:25:52,200 Speaker 2: I have so much choice and power within me. I'm 603 00:25:52,241 --> 00:25:53,521 Speaker 2: not going to be a victim and go down that 604 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,561 Speaker 2: dark hole because guess what, I've done that and I 605 00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:58,041 Speaker 2: fucking hated it and I nearly lost my life over it. 606 00:25:58,041 --> 00:26:00,201 Speaker 2: So I'm not doing that again, and I do things differently. 607 00:26:00,681 --> 00:26:02,521 Speaker 2: You know. It's really cool. 608 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,001 Speaker 1: Oh that's so true. It's so true. We should start 609 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,041 Speaker 1: doing cold plunges again. 610 00:26:06,201 --> 00:26:09,321 Speaker 3: Yeah, my gosh, what a beautiful way to kind of 611 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:12,200 Speaker 3: access that panicky feeling that comes up in you. But 612 00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:14,801 Speaker 3: in a safe environment, yes, one undred percent. You know, 613 00:26:14,921 --> 00:26:16,961 Speaker 3: it's like it's a controlled environment. You can get out 614 00:26:16,961 --> 00:26:18,880 Speaker 3: and you want, but it's a way for you to 615 00:26:18,921 --> 00:26:21,160 Speaker 3: bring that stuff always so that you can sue. 616 00:26:21,041 --> 00:26:22,360 Speaker 2: That I needs to do it more often, but I 617 00:26:22,441 --> 00:26:24,721 Speaker 2: kind of I think I avoid it because it's uncomfortable. 618 00:26:24,761 --> 00:26:26,840 Speaker 2: But now I'm talking about it. Yeah, back to those 619 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:27,521 Speaker 2: cold plungers. 620 00:26:27,721 --> 00:26:28,521 Speaker 1: This is a good idea. 621 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:29,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny. 622 00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:31,680 Speaker 3: When I lived in Cronolla in Sydney, I went to 623 00:26:31,681 --> 00:26:34,600 Speaker 3: an EMF that had a recovery center, so they had 624 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,321 Speaker 3: cold plungers, hot spas, all that sort of stuff. So 625 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:38,960 Speaker 3: I was going a couple of times a week and 626 00:26:39,001 --> 00:26:40,561 Speaker 3: I was the most regulated. 627 00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:43,281 Speaker 2: That I and Sauna too. Sauna was doing like bouncing 628 00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:45,640 Speaker 2: between because heat can do the same thing once it 629 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,120 Speaker 2: gets to a certain temperature. I remember Katie Jay and 630 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,561 Speaker 2: I went to a retreat. We were in a sauna, 631 00:26:50,721 --> 00:26:52,440 Speaker 2: a bunch of us, and once it got to like 632 00:26:52,481 --> 00:26:54,521 Speaker 2: ten minutes, I was ready to hop out, and I 633 00:26:54,561 --> 00:26:56,681 Speaker 2: remember someone else and there was like, no, No, when you're 634 00:26:56,721 --> 00:26:58,801 Speaker 2: ready to hop out, you stay in five ten minutes longer, 635 00:26:59,321 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 2: get really uncomfortable. Don't get out when it starts to 636 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,761 Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable. You get the benefits when it gets really uncomfortable, 637 00:27:04,761 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 2: and to sit in that. That's how you calm yourself down. 638 00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:09,400 Speaker 2: Is when things start to get hard, do you just 639 00:27:09,481 --> 00:27:12,161 Speaker 2: run away? It's no, you sit there. So I stayed 640 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 2: another ten minutes and it was really fucking hard. 641 00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:15,201 Speaker 3: Wow. 642 00:27:15,521 --> 00:27:17,641 Speaker 2: Mentally it was like, oh, this is where the work 643 00:27:17,681 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 2: comes in. So interesting. 644 00:27:18,681 --> 00:27:20,640 Speaker 3: It's kind of like going to the gym. Yes, you know, 645 00:27:20,721 --> 00:27:22,561 Speaker 3: it's like when it starts to hurt, you don't stop. 646 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,120 Speaker 3: You go another five Yes. 647 00:27:23,921 --> 00:27:26,761 Speaker 2: That's right, you go to you can't do anymore. Oh 648 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,041 Speaker 2: that was such a powerful episode, I think, and like 649 00:27:29,041 --> 00:27:31,001 Speaker 2: we said at the start, or repeat myself again, just 650 00:27:31,041 --> 00:27:33,360 Speaker 2: because I feel like I need to take what you 651 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,480 Speaker 2: want from it. Yeah, our stories, our personal experiences. If 652 00:27:36,521 --> 00:27:39,561 Speaker 2: you relate, amazing. If you don't, that's cool too if 653 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,400 Speaker 2: you learn something even better, if you take anything away 654 00:27:42,441 --> 00:27:44,760 Speaker 2: from this, I think, just make sure you don't ever 655 00:27:44,801 --> 00:27:47,481 Speaker 2: feel shameed for needing help and for not being okay. 656 00:27:47,521 --> 00:27:49,400 Speaker 2: It's okay not to be okay. Yeah, but you don't 657 00:27:49,441 --> 00:27:52,321 Speaker 2: have to suffer and live in that state forever. We're 658 00:27:52,321 --> 00:27:53,561 Speaker 2: living proof you can get out of it. 659 00:27:53,561 --> 00:27:56,961 Speaker 3: It's really important to acknowledge that how your feeling is true, 660 00:27:57,201 --> 00:28:00,281 Speaker 3: because for as long as we gaslight ourselves whenever actually 661 00:28:00,281 --> 00:28:02,601 Speaker 3: fully addressing the problem, we're just putting a band aid 662 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,961 Speaker 3: over a gushing wound and that will come up tenfold later. 663 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:07,600 Speaker 3: If you don't deal with it now, you'll have to 664 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,041 Speaker 3: deal with it later and it will be heavier, you know. 665 00:28:10,201 --> 00:28:12,880 Speaker 3: So it's okay to sometimes admit that, yeah, you're not 666 00:28:12,961 --> 00:28:15,720 Speaker 3: okay and that things aren't how you want them to be. 667 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,160 Speaker 1: But that's the first step. 668 00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:21,240 Speaker 2: And if you're in our forum like this is what 669 00:28:21,281 --> 00:28:23,521 Speaker 2: we want to create a safe place for women to 670 00:28:23,561 --> 00:28:27,120 Speaker 2: come and bring anything and everything and get rid of 671 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:28,920 Speaker 2: all the shame and know that you're safe to be 672 00:28:28,921 --> 00:28:30,640 Speaker 2: able to bring it in and you're being held and 673 00:28:30,681 --> 00:28:31,681 Speaker 2: be supported through that. 674 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:33,441 Speaker 3: Yeah, And at the end of the day, we're here 675 00:28:33,441 --> 00:28:36,481 Speaker 3: to just normalize these kind of conversations and to normalize 676 00:28:36,521 --> 00:28:38,761 Speaker 3: the scary things to talk about. Like we want to 677 00:28:38,801 --> 00:28:41,121 Speaker 3: talk about the things that people don't normally talk about. 678 00:28:41,201 --> 00:28:42,881 Speaker 3: So we just want you to know that it's safe 679 00:28:42,881 --> 00:28:44,161 Speaker 3: to bring it in and that you don't have to 680 00:28:44,161 --> 00:28:47,961 Speaker 3: be judging yourself or fearful or just in any kind 681 00:28:48,001 --> 00:28:50,641 Speaker 3: of place of judgment on what you're experiencing and going through, 682 00:28:50,681 --> 00:28:52,841 Speaker 3: and just knowing that we're stronger in numbers. 683 00:28:53,001 --> 00:28:54,881 Speaker 2: I love that numbers thing because it kind of reminds 684 00:28:54,921 --> 00:28:56,761 Speaker 2: me of like our next Devender are running, which by 685 00:28:56,801 --> 00:28:57,760 Speaker 2: the way, is sold out. 686 00:28:57,881 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 1: Ut we sold at in four days. 687 00:29:00,041 --> 00:29:03,960 Speaker 2: Guys, craz so grateful. We had our Valentine's event not 688 00:29:04,041 --> 00:29:05,921 Speaker 2: long ago and it was so beautiful. We sold it 689 00:29:05,921 --> 00:29:07,681 Speaker 2: out for that one and literally had girls upset they 690 00:29:07,681 --> 00:29:09,121 Speaker 2: missed out. We're like, make sure you're ready for the 691 00:29:09,121 --> 00:29:11,681 Speaker 2: next one. We doubled the tickets more than doubled, so 692 00:29:11,721 --> 00:29:14,081 Speaker 2: we have like, yeah, fifty amazing women coming for our 693 00:29:14,081 --> 00:29:15,601 Speaker 2: next event, and this one is going to be a 694 00:29:15,641 --> 00:29:18,241 Speaker 2: little bit more uncomfortable just to sit down dinner. We 695 00:29:18,281 --> 00:29:20,841 Speaker 2: get to like have a hangout like the Galentines one. 696 00:29:20,841 --> 00:29:22,201 Speaker 2: What was more depth than that, we had a guest 697 00:29:22,201 --> 00:29:24,401 Speaker 2: speaker and whatever. But this one you're actually going to 698 00:29:24,441 --> 00:29:25,961 Speaker 2: be doing some work and we're going to be taking 699 00:29:25,961 --> 00:29:28,161 Speaker 2: you through some exercises that it's going to be a 700 00:29:28,201 --> 00:29:30,321 Speaker 2: peling back the layers. But we can't wait to show you, 701 00:29:30,361 --> 00:29:32,401 Speaker 2: likeck how fun and playful it gets to be. Yeah, 702 00:29:32,481 --> 00:29:36,401 Speaker 2: and Tatiana and Stephanie are hosting. Oh yes, spicy bitches 703 00:29:36,521 --> 00:29:39,681 Speaker 2: can't wait. Speaking of the Facebook forum, they get first 704 00:29:39,761 --> 00:29:41,601 Speaker 2: access to the event. So if you missed out on 705 00:29:41,641 --> 00:29:44,321 Speaker 2: our Galentines, if you're listening, you're probably missed out on 706 00:29:44,361 --> 00:29:46,761 Speaker 2: our Mystery Masquerade. Yeah, get in the forum because for 707 00:29:46,801 --> 00:29:50,001 Speaker 2: our next one, which will probably be probably June. Yeah, 708 00:29:50,081 --> 00:29:51,681 Speaker 2: make sure you're there to get first access. So you 709 00:29:51,761 --> 00:29:55,161 Speaker 2: can just search Sheet Rises on Facebook or we'll leave 710 00:29:55,201 --> 00:29:58,280 Speaker 2: the link in our description box as well. Yeah, all right, 711 00:29:58,641 --> 00:29:59,721 Speaker 2: see on Friday. 712 00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:06,961 Speaker 1: Bye guys,