WEBVTT - What’s your health attachment style?

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to healthy Ish fans, friends, listeners of this podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>How are you Hope you are feeling well healthish of course,

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<v Speaker 1>this is the daily podcast from Body and Soul. I

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<v Speaker 1>am the host of Felicity Harley. Now. I first spotted

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<v Speaker 1>our guests on the bestseller list. It was a few

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<v Speaker 1>weeks ago. Her book is called What's My Body Telling Me?

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<v Speaker 1>And Ah, I think it was number one or two. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>I thought we have to get her on this podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Dr Anthea Todd I tracked her down. Yes, she is

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<v Speaker 1>here today. She joins us from the Gold Coast to

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<v Speaker 1>discuss her concept of health attachment style, how to identify

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<v Speaker 1>yours and boost your health today. Now. She's also a

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<v Speaker 1>chiropractor who holds a double Masters in Women's health Medicine

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<v Speaker 1>and reproductive Medicine. She knows ther stuff. You'll enjoy this chat.

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<v Speaker 1>Make sure you're also listening to extra health Ish, where

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<v Speaker 1>she shares her simple formula for better body and mind balance.

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<v Speaker 1>You can catch that where we get your podcasts Anthea,

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<v Speaker 1>lovely to have you on Healthy Today. Congratulations on the

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<v Speaker 1>success of your new book.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much for listener. Great to be here.

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<v Speaker 1>Now let's talk about this health attachment style, which actually

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<v Speaker 1>caught my attention when I was reading your book What

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<v Speaker 1>Is This All About? You write about this whole idea.

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<v Speaker 2>Well attachment style. I'm not sure whether you've heard of it,

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<v Speaker 2>but a lot of people refer to it in terms

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<v Speaker 2>of relationships. So there's basically four main types. You can

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<v Speaker 2>have an anxious type, an avoidant type, and anxious avoidant.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're really lucky, you get both, and also a

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<v Speaker 2>secure type. So in relation to your body, if you

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<v Speaker 2>have an anxious attachment style, it's like you don't trust

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<v Speaker 2>your body and you trust other people more than you

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<v Speaker 2>trust your body. So a classic example of this is

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<v Speaker 2>that you are like any little thing, You're like, I've

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<v Speaker 2>got cancer, or you're like always googling things thinking or

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<v Speaker 2>worse is going to happen. But also this can also

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<v Speaker 2>show up in ways where you thinking I have to

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<v Speaker 2>meet a certain step count, or you feel guilty if

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<v Speaker 2>you don't go and exercise that day, or you're always

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<v Speaker 2>counting calories. You're doing those things because you just feel

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<v Speaker 2>like underneath the surface, your body is fragile and you

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<v Speaker 2>don't trust it. So that's an anxious type. Then we

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<v Speaker 2>have the avoidant type, which is the complete opposite. It's

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<v Speaker 2>like my body will be fine. I'm going to ignore everything.

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<v Speaker 2>She'll be right type of attitude, just like ah nah,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll get on with it. But we can also have

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<v Speaker 2>that as mums, where we put everyone else before ourselves

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<v Speaker 2>and we just ignore, ignore, until eventually we get a

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<v Speaker 2>big whack and we get some form of big symptom

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<v Speaker 2>that knocks us out. Yes.

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<v Speaker 1>I think we've all had one of those.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes. And then the anxious avoidant is you can sort

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<v Speaker 2>of think of this like you go from one to

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<v Speaker 2>the other. So avoidant is you trust yourself over other people.

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<v Speaker 2>Anxious is you trust other people over your body. The

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<v Speaker 2>anxious avoidant you switch between. This is often where you're like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like something's wrong. You go and see some

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<v Speaker 2>form of health practitioner. You do the thing for a

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<v Speaker 2>couple of weeks, and you go they didn't know what

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<v Speaker 2>they're talking about. That didn't that didn't work. No one

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<v Speaker 2>knows what's going on. My body's my body will be

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<v Speaker 2>fine or my body's broken. You sort of like ying

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<v Speaker 2>and yang between them. You don't really know what's going on,

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<v Speaker 2>and that can be really frustrating as well. And then

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<v Speaker 2>the secure type is where you trust your body, you

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<v Speaker 2>know that it can look after itself. It's very robust,

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<v Speaker 2>but you also know when to reach out for help,

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<v Speaker 2>and you seek help when you need it. So that's

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<v Speaker 2>what I mean by the health attachment styles.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I like that. Is there any one that you

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<v Speaker 1>see more of with you know, your clients or people

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<v Speaker 1>that come to you for help?

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<v Speaker 2>Is there?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I feel like probably every listener was thinking, oh, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's me. Definitely me.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I often I see a mix, but probably the

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<v Speaker 2>anxious avoidant people are the people that I see. The

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<v Speaker 2>most avoidant people I don't see as much of because

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<v Speaker 2>mostly don't reach out for help until they really need it.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, the anxious avoidant type, which is that typical

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<v Speaker 2>you've been searching for answers and you're lost in that

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<v Speaker 2>space between I call it. We've gone and seen typically

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<v Speaker 2>a medical practitioner, which is great, it's a great first

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<v Speaker 2>port of calls to go and see. But if you

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<v Speaker 2>don't have anything significant enough to need medication or surgery,

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<v Speaker 2>then often we're told there's nothing wrong with us, and

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<v Speaker 2>then we sort of go into that loop of anxious

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<v Speaker 2>and avoidant space where we're like, okay, well, is there

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<v Speaker 2>actually nothing wrong with me? Maybe I should just ignore

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<v Speaker 2>these symptoms and it's in my head or we're being

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<v Speaker 2>medically gas lit and all those things. But then we

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<v Speaker 2>can also go into the avoidant state of like, oh

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<v Speaker 2>my gosh, I've tried to go and get help and

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<v Speaker 2>no one can help me, so I may as well

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<v Speaker 2>just ignore it. So's we go through that cycle when

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<v Speaker 2>we're lost in that space.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that rumination, And I'm presuming secure is the place

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<v Speaker 1>we want to get to.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, ideally, and how we do that, Like, you're not

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<v Speaker 2>destined to stay stuck in any of these I should

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<v Speaker 2>preface that so you can always change. And that's the

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<v Speaker 2>same when they talk about attachment style in relationships as well.

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<v Speaker 2>You can always move to a secure So secure is

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<v Speaker 2>where you really learn how to listen to your body

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<v Speaker 2>and trust it and just know that it is always

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<v Speaker 2>looking out for you. Like if you are listening to

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<v Speaker 2>this podcast right now, I know your body is working

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<v Speaker 2>for you because you're alive. So it's doing all of

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<v Speaker 2>these things, trillions of reactions every single second to keep

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<v Speaker 2>you alive, to make sure you can listen to this

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<v Speaker 2>and you're not defecating at the same time when you're

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<v Speaker 2>driving your car and like you can eat your breakfast

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<v Speaker 2>on the way to work, and you're doing like you're

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<v Speaker 2>doing all of these amazing things. And then sometimes we

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<v Speaker 2>go like, oh, but like, but this is happening with

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<v Speaker 2>my body, or that's happening with my body. But it's

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<v Speaker 2>like underneath the surface, it's actually looking out for you.

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<v Speaker 2>You have no idea of the amazingness that it's full of.

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<v Speaker 2>So when we can actually lean into that and learn

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<v Speaker 2>how to listen to our body and then learn how

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<v Speaker 2>to get the type of care that we need when

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<v Speaker 2>we need it, that's when we move to a secure attachment.

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<v Speaker 1>Why do so many of us miss the signals our

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<v Speaker 1>bodies try to tell us.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I think it's sort of twofold in that we

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<v Speaker 2>miss it because we don't we normalize common symptoms. So say,

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<v Speaker 2>for instance, something like stretch marks, not a big deal,

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<v Speaker 2>not life threatening, but it's actually your body telling you something.

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<v Speaker 2>Depending on the color of them, are they purple or

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<v Speaker 2>are they white? It can tell you a significant nutritional

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<v Speaker 2>deficiency in copper or sorry, an excess in copper and

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<v Speaker 2>a deficiency in zinc, which can tie into why you

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<v Speaker 2>have heavy periods. And then your heavy periods can tell

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<v Speaker 2>you why you're losing a lot of blood and why

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<v Speaker 2>are I indefficient? But then what's really underneath all of

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<v Speaker 2>those surfaces. But what happens is we go, oh, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>your friend has heavy periods and you go, oh, so

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<v Speaker 2>do I. It's like, oh, well, then that must be normal.

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<v Speaker 1>You just carry on and then I think you know

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<v Speaker 1>what I really like about your book is that so

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<v Speaker 1>many of us just carry on and think, oh, this

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<v Speaker 1>is normal, or we go and seek medical attention, which

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<v Speaker 1>we should, and then we're put on something, but we're

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<v Speaker 1>not really addressing why it's happening.

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<v Speaker 2>And that would be great if we were all healthy,

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<v Speaker 2>but we're not. One in two of us have a

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<v Speaker 2>chronic health illness, so that just doesn't work. Not listening

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<v Speaker 2>to your body is never going to work. So it's

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<v Speaker 2>always paying attention to Okay, what is this symptom telling me?

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm not telling everyone now to go like, oh

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<v Speaker 2>my gosh, I've got stretch marks and I've got these

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<v Speaker 2>little symptoms that aren't life threatening. It's just going, ah, interesting,

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<v Speaker 2>my body is telling me something with this, what might

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<v Speaker 2>that be? So it's just having that curiosity, but also

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<v Speaker 2>remembering your body is really robust and it's looking out

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<v Speaker 2>for you. So knowing that you have that safety and

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<v Speaker 2>trust in your body and being able to connect to it,

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<v Speaker 2>is that that first, like, when we can have that,

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<v Speaker 2>that's really really powerful. And then when we come from

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<v Speaker 2>that space, we can go, ohh okay, I wonder what

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<v Speaker 2>this symptom is telling me, whether it's something as small

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<v Speaker 2>as stretch marks or white spots on your fingernails. But

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<v Speaker 2>then it can get louder. It can be like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm losing hair. There's comps of hair coming out in

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<v Speaker 2>the shower. Does that mean I need different shampoo? Or

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<v Speaker 2>is it telling me that maybe I'm not eating enough

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<v Speaker 2>calories or I'm deficient in different proteins or micronutrients. Like,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just listening to our body in a different way

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<v Speaker 2>as it gets louder and louder. Hopefully not, but if

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<v Speaker 2>it does, we know that our body is looking out

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<v Speaker 2>for us.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a sentence in the book that I really liked,

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<v Speaker 1>and you wrote a society or system that often makes

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<v Speaker 1>our bodies out to be the enemy, when really there's

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<v Speaker 1>the solution. If we could do one thing today to

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<v Speaker 1>better tune into our body. What can we do?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, that's a.

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<v Speaker 1>Great one One thing.

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<v Speaker 2>One thing, Okay, one thing. It's really just about paying

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<v Speaker 2>attention to the small things and doing what your body

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<v Speaker 2>is telling you. So say, for instance, you need to

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<v Speaker 2>go to the toilet, Go to the toilet, you're cold,

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<v Speaker 2>put on a jumper. The more you pay attention to

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<v Speaker 2>the small signals of your body and you actually go

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<v Speaker 2>through with them, you don't ignore them, you don't treat

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<v Speaker 2>them as like inconveniences, you will develop a deeper connection

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<v Speaker 2>with your body.

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<v Speaker 1>Great advance, Anthea, Thank you for coming on Healthish.

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<v Speaker 2>No worries. Thanks for having me.

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<v Speaker 1>My friends. If you do want to read Anthea's book,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm thoroughly enjoying it. I'm about halfway through. It's called

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<v Speaker 1>What's My Body Telling Me? And it is out now.

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<v Speaker 1>If you did enjoy this chat, tell us we love

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<v Speaker 1>all feedback. You can rate and review this episode, or

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<v Speaker 1>of course subscribe. Then you know exactly when we drop

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<v Speaker 1>a new app. Bodyandsoul dot com dot you is a

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<v Speaker 1>place to go. If you want more info, make sure

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<v Speaker 1>you're following us on socials. Our print edition, of course,

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<v Speaker 1>is out in your local Sunday paper. Grab that for

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<v Speaker 1>a good read, and until tomorrow's stay ol fish