WEBVTT - Control Freaks 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:09.440 Hello, friends, Welcome to the podcast. Did is Mall and 0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:11.639 Monty do a day? If you're new yay? If you're 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:13.880 old yay, Come and have a play? 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:18.720 Hello? Hello? Can I kick off with something? I've noticed 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:23.480 a fashion thing, a male fashion thing, so I get 0:00:23.480 --> 0:00:28.720 a lot of Harry styles on my algorithm. Do you yeah? 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:30.560 How do you feel about he and Zoe? 0:00:31.720 --> 0:00:34.280 I think I think they're a match made in heaven. 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:38.599 To be honest, They're so suited in every way. I 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:42.560 think that's how I feel like they are. Just could 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:45.560 they be actually any cooler? Like I reckon they would 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:48.159 just have one big wardrobe and they'd share clothes with 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:51.880 each other. Like, I just feel like he's so fucking 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:56.160 effortlessly cool. She's the coolest human on the planet. And 0:00:56.200 --> 0:00:59.360 then together, like combined, imagine how cool their kids are 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:02.640 going to be. Yeah, I do also think I think, oh, 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:05.679 he's very pop and she seems. 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:10.840 Very like alternative, but he's alternative. He's very alternative. 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:18.120 Well, I'm noticing his very into wearing short shorts on 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:22.319 notice that like tailored short shorts. And then I saw 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:26.560 a clip of you know, bad Bunny Yes wearing short shorts, 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:30.200 and I just thought I don't know if I'm here 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:30.640 for it. 0:01:31.200 --> 0:01:34.920 No, wait, he wears short shots, she wears short shots. No, 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:39.040 I am not into short shots on guys at all. 0:01:39.160 --> 0:01:45.480 If look, if maybe there's a sporting element there, perhaps. 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:50.520 When even like an AFL short is the shortest that 0:01:50.560 --> 0:01:52.960 a short can go, but that cannot be worn off 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:56.720 a field. No, my god, no, But maybe it's in 0:01:56.760 --> 0:01:59.840 the like the fact that it's like a tailored short 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:02.600 with I think, like a belt and then a shirt. 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:05.000 I mean, far be it from me to criticize because 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:08.000 I am realizing as I'm getting older. Oh, it's actually 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:12.560 I'm not trendy. It's that I'm stuck in my ways. 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:15.960 But I just am like, I can see a male 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:22.280 thigh is attractive in the right situation, a glimpse of it, 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:24.080 like if the short goes up a bit and you 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:27.280 see the male thigh muscle not just on full display, 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:29.959 where the just basically their balls are covered a couple 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:32.680 of inches below their ball not interested. Remember like the 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:35.400 marathon runners and they used to wear like the short 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:39.639 shorts that came up at the site. Yes, like Steve Montagetty, remember, Yes, 0:02:39.720 --> 0:02:43.079 Steve Montaghetty was like remember back in the day, how 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:46.520 big because now everyone's got social media and just everyone's 0:02:46.639 --> 0:02:50.600 whatever famous. But remember like even though like the Iron 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.000 Men didn't used to wear short shorts, but like you 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:56.320 Grant Kenny's and your Trevor Handy's and then your guy 0:02:56.840 --> 0:03:02.040 what was his name, guy Guy Leech, I wanted to Yeah, 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:05.959 they were fucking huge, And then your swimmers were all big, 0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:08.720 you know, like all your athletes were so big. 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:11.680 It sort of goes back to that thing with the 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:15.000 pressure on girls, women whatever to look a certain way 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:17.120 when we were growing up. Even though there was the 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:20.560 pressure in magazines and stuff, there was also a real 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:24.200 separation of oh they're a model, they're an anomaly, they're 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:29.360 just stunning. We're not like that, yes, but now it's 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:33.040 like everyone filters everything, everyone gets shited done all the time, 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:35.240 and it's like you look at people and you're like, oh, no, 0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:38.400 well everyone's beautiful except for me. It's like it's become 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:41.280 commonplace to be just doing things. 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:44.800 And also for us too, I don't know what's ai 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:48.000 and what's not. Like the other week or Kate Soebrano 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:50.600 puts something up, going, oh I saw that for the 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:53.000 first time. I've been tricks with AI. It was a 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:56.320 photo of her holding a photo of who was that 0:03:56.360 --> 0:04:00.040 beautiful man that passed? He's sam Neil, sam Neil, and 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:02.960 she's like, I never did that. It was her holding 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:05.320 up a photo of sam Neil and her the last 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:07.520 time they were together, which never happened. So A I 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:11.360 completely created this photo of Kate Sobrano crying holding up 0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:15.720 this photo and she's like and I was like, that's terrifying, 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:19.880 Like being famous now you're so subjected to that. God, 0:04:19.960 --> 0:04:22.800 things pop up in my feet. It's this this thing 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:25.000 that helps you shit that I bought once. It's like 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:28.880 a really sugary powdery drink, but now like Kendall, Jenna 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:34.160 pops up promoting it, Kylie Jenner, Margo Robbie, None of 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:35.720 it's real. It's all AI. 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:38.520 That's really scary to me because you think lot people 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:40.200 can do with your image. 0:04:39.880 --> 0:04:42.960 Like totally, and this brand's not paying those women at all. 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:44.880 And to start with, I was like, oh, Kendall uses it, 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:47.039 and then I'm like, oh no, Margo Robbie would never 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:51.920 use this shitting thing and be sponsored. 0:04:51.560 --> 0:04:53.880 You know. I mean maybe she does, but she'd keep 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:55.040 it under wraps for sure. 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:58.800 Definitely keep it under wraps. There's nothing sexy about a 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:05.920 constipated girl. What a shame. So now your beautiful girl 0:05:05.960 --> 0:05:06.719 turned eighteen. 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:11.080 She did. I was just about to say I'm the 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:13.960 mother of an adult, and then I thought that sounds 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:16.480 like I'm making it about me. I'm so conscious of that. 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:20.400 But yeah, she turned eighteen, and I really struggled with it, 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:25.080 like just because I think I said this before. It's 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:28.799 not that she's grown up. It's that I feel like, oh, 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:33.080 I wasn't paying attention. It went too fast, like some Yeah, 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:37.000 there's a shift. But she's like, you know, I don't 0:05:37.000 --> 0:05:38.880 want to be one of those people that are like parents, 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:41.640 like my kid's so great, because she definitely has her fault, 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:44.880 as we all do, but she really is such pretty amazing. 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:51.480 She's such a good kid. But we're organizing her party. 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:54.839 So she gonna have a party at the house. God no, 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:56.640 oh my god. I know I was going to say, 0:05:57.080 --> 0:05:59.440 I've never been to your house in fucking fifteen years. 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:00.920 How is she to have a party there? 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:03.240 I told you that year I did Christmas and it 0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:08.120 almost undid me. It's like anyway, but yeah, no, we're 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:11.520 having it out and the other day we were going 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:15.440 through a playlist of songs because her big thing, she 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:18.440 said two things. She doesn't want it a formal, sit 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:21.800 down thing. She wants, you know, like everyone just sort 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:25.040 of roving around, and she wants music, and she wants 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:26.680 people dancing and everyone. 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:29.840 All anyone wants for their party is people to dance. 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:32.719 Yeah, because it's a sign that everyone's having a good time. 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:34.960 It is. But you know what's essential to get people 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:39.360 to dance alcohol alcohol, Yes, but the dance floor has 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:44.200 to be perfectly lit. If it's too bright, no one's 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:45.240 getting on that dance floor. 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:49.279 Okay, the lighting in the place is spectacular. Oh thank god, 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:55.839 it's soft and warm. Great, everyone right, hot sorted. I 0:06:55.880 --> 0:07:00.799 did consider that, but we're going through the her playlist 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:05.000 of songs. Yeah, and I really realized, which will come 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:07.400 as no surprise to you. What a fucking control freak. 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:12.160 I am a choice. Oh my god. She put a 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:15.120 song on there because I was trying really hard to go, 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:16.720 this is your party. 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:19.400 It's going to be how you want, except for what 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:21.200 mummy wants will go in there as well. 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:24.840 No, but like I might give a suggestion, but this 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:27.440 is about you, not me. But there was one song 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:28.920 I had to pull her up on and I was like, 0:07:29.640 --> 0:07:32.200 it's canceled if you put that song on. I actually, 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.480 this is what I said to her. I said, I 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:37.960 have never, ever, ever, in your whole life, said I'm 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:41.520 ashamed of you about it, except for right now. And 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:45.960 I'm ashamed she said to put on there. I'm sorry, 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:47.480 I'm embarrassed to even say it. 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:49.600 Play it, play it for me, mate, me hear it. 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:58.280 Let's go girls, and you're getting into it. I knew 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:00.280 you'd get into it. I knew you'd been this. 0:08:00.360 --> 0:08:02.320 Yeah, because you think I've got really bad music taste. 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:05.840 I'm I'm not like, that's not like a cracker. I 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:07.280 need to get on the dance floor. But I reckon 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:08.480 that will get people up there. 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:12.720 I yeah, no, I really put my foot down. I'm like, 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:17.480 I understand there are songs that are good to have 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:18.920 the people sing along to. 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:21.040 On the yes that everyone can get. Let's go right, 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:23.320 who is that shanaiin Shani toine. 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:26.040 I am not here for that. I will not allow that. 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:28.080 I hate that song. That is like her saying to me, 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:29.560 let's put the grease megamix on. 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:32.120 Ah, yeah, which is another great one that will work. 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:34.800 And trying really hard to, you know, let it be 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:37.480 about what she wants, but that I just had to 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:40.280 draw the line. Okay. I was like nah. And then 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:44.199 some some of my suggestions she's like I would never 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.120 have that, or like I'm trying to look for a 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:49.400 dress for her to wear, and everything I show, everything 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:51.360 I look at and go what about this? What about this? 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:54.880 She's like, I would never wear that? And I'm like, okay, 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:55.480 all right. 0:08:55.800 --> 0:08:58.439 Isn't it so funny when sometimes you like think, oh, yeah, 0:08:58.480 --> 0:08:59.840 this would work for them, and then you're like, oh, 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:02.720 you wouldn't like that at all. I didn't. Yeah. Yeah, 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:08.280 So can you tell me what's the rough cost of 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:09.720 an eighteenth birthday party? 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:15.599 And this is this is not Look, it's actually not unreasonable, 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:18.480 and this is not this is just a place in Carlton, 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:23.000 so it's not like some high end whatever. Yeah, it's 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.400 a minimum spend of three and a half grand. Yeah, 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:27.880 that's that's pretty average, which I feel is average. And 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:29.880 then there's you know, like and you've got to pay 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:33.240 for the food. No, no, no, So minimum spend is 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:37.960 you've got to spend at least that much so alcohol, food, whatever, which, yeah, 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:40.640 you'll shit it in by the time like having an 0:09:40.679 --> 0:09:43.360 open bar people, so you do it full open. 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:44.079 Bar for the whole night. 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:49.920 Probably, Wow, there's look, there's some drinkers and there's some 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:53.120 that just do not touch alcohol, so it'll balance itself out. 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:56.360 Is it an open bar, like can I please get 0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:58.520 a margarita? Or is it just like beer, wine and 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:01.160 spirits don't tails? No? 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:04.200 No, no, I'm not going to open cocktails. You can 0:10:04.320 --> 0:10:06.520 have spirits like you can say, oh, you know, can 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:08.760 I have a gin and tonic or whatever, But no, 0:10:08.840 --> 0:10:10.640 I'm not going to put like a thirty dollars cocktail 0:10:10.720 --> 0:10:11.160 on their No. 0:10:11.679 --> 0:10:15.280 Like I remember being eighteen though, and and friends having 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:18.920 open bars and it was just an open bar is 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:22.680 so glorious. Even as an adult, it's just so fucking glorious, 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:25.240 you know, because like the last big party I went 0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:28.000 to was a friend's fortieth. I'm forty five, so that 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:30.360 tells you how long ago was. But it was like 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:34.520 a put everything on, like glorious food, and you wouldn't 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:37.880 even fear. And I think the main drinks were margaritas, 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:40.320 which are my favorite. So you wouldn't even finish your 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:42.719 margarita and someone would hand you a new one. So 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:44.679 you don't realize how much you've had to drink. You 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:49.440 get absolutely trolleyed because it's just like somebody's there constantly 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:52.439 filling your cup. But fuck, it's so fun, and especially 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:56.000 as a kid, because most kids probably don't drink now 0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:57.480 because it's so expensive. 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:01.360 Well, my daughter will not even have a sip of 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:05.800 Wild's I know. And it's funny the idea of unpicking, 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:09.920 like this concept of even myself, I'm happy she's not 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:13.040 drinking because nothing good comes from alcohol, like it's not 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:16.120 good for you or whatever. But I still find myself saying, 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:18.400 what do you just have a sip a sip and 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:20.840 try it? And I was thinking about it the other 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:22.680 day and I said that to her, and I said, 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:26.760 I think it's more me. It's not about the alcohol, 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:30.240 it's about her rigid thinking, like, you don't have to 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:34.400 think I'm a non drink I will never have a 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:37.800 sip of alcohol, Like you can have a sip because 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:40.280 you like the taste. You don't have to get shit faced, 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:43.120 Like what's her reasoning for not wanting to even have 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:46.880 a sip? She's just not interested. I think a lot 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:49.839 of it is the fear of being drunk and out 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:53.480 of control. And also she has I actually think it's 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:56.719 a thing. It's called a metaphobia. So it's like she 0:11:57.000 --> 0:12:01.000 is so terrified of vomiting. Really funny, and like I 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:03.400 say to her, but you could have a glass of something. 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:05.320 It's not going to get you drunk, Like you don't 0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:08.599 have to get drunk. But she's just like, I'm not 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:10.719 doing that, same as when she was three. I'm not 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:14.559 eating chocolate. I don't like chocolate. And that's so it's 0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:17.199 more about the rigid thinking than the actual drinking. But 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:20.439 it was, Yeah, it's so much a part of our culture. 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:24.000 It's so yeah, because as somebody who's not a drinker, 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:27.959 I have been like had so like and when I 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:30.400 say I'm not a drinker, I don't. I will drink 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:32.480 maybe two times a year if we go to a 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:35.640 party or something like that. I don't need to have 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:37.520 a glass of wine at night, and I don't need 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:38.880 to have a glass of wine when we go out 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:42.120 for dinner. I just don't. There's such a high risk 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:44.199 of me getting a migraine that it's not worth it 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:46.319 for me. So I kind of pick and choose. But 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:49.959 it's amazing how even more so when we were younger, 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:53.160 how it was. It's such a part of our culture 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:54.840 that if you're not drinking, you're just classed. 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.800 Is not fun. It's weird drinking. 0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:01.080 Yeah, it's like it's so weird and it's such an 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:04.440 unhealthy thing to force people to drink. But I can 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:07.800 see it in my sons that I think I'm going 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:10.360 to be fucking in for it. And they're only fourteen 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.720 and nearly twelve, and I can see that they're going 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:14.880 to give it a real nunch. 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:20.280 It's just a slippery slope because it's like it gives 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:23.320 you a bit of confidence totally take it, and you're like, oh, 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:25.120 I'm not overthinking myself. 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:28.360 The other day, backs was talking joking about having a 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.760 gummy with somebody, and I said, mate, it will make 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:33.800 you so paranoid. You'll be the kid in the corner 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:36.280 being all parent like tried to fully fucking scare him. 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:38.280 But I'm like, he's going to do it at some point, 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:39.880 like they're all going to do it at some point, 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:42.600 So I'm just got it. And Sam had the consent 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:46.240 chat with him the other day and he said, well, 0:13:46.240 --> 0:13:48.040 it wasn't really a chat, it was more just going 0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:50.040 have they spoken to you about consent at school. He's 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.400 like no, and then he's like, well do you know 0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:54.800 what consent is? And blah blah blah. It was like 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:56.560 a thirty second chat. But I said to them, well, 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:58.559 at least that's off the list, Like that's done. Our 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:01.800 job there is done. But I've said to him before, like, 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:04.599 you're going to end up going to parties. He's not that. 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:06.959 He hasn't been to a party yet. He's only fourteen. 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:09.839 But there's going to be parties. You and your friends 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:11.280 at some point are going to have too much to 0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:13.240 drink or drugs are going to be offered. You just 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:17.120 have to call constantly, like you can. If you get 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:19.240 too drunk or a friend gets too drunk, you have 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:21.440 to call. You're never ever ever going to be in trouble, 0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:24.800 and he won't because if he calls me like that. 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:25.720 I just used to. 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.160 Constantly call my mum when I had would have too 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:31.080 much to drink, be like yeah, and she'd come and 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.600 pick me up. And just a safety knowing you're okay 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:36.280 and you're not in trouble. Yeah, I know, is so essential. 0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:40.400 I reckon, Yeah, but it's it's scary. It's scary out 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:44.120 there that idea of my God. And also vaping, like 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:46.960 I said to Ahlo the other day, and like vaping, 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:50.120 the vapes are really yummy. They taste like grape. They're 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.600 full of chemicals and you will get cancer. 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:56.120 I just goes, well, I think you can, but you 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:56.800 can say that. 0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:58.200 I think, well, it's true, isn't it. 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:02.840 Like yeah, I just argue that everything we're saying is 0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:04.840 like what our parents would have said to us. Saw 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:08.480 the idea that don't ever smoke. Smoking so bad for you, 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:10.800 And it's like when you're young, you think I'll quit 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:12.080 in time, I'll be right. 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:16.320 Yeah, totally invincible. Same as the sun. When they leave 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:19.400 the house with the sunscreen. I'm like, you got a game. 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:23.920 They're like, I don't care, Like, yeah's a problem for me. Hey, 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:26.520 I read this beautiful thing that I wanted to share 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:28.920 with you, which is quite timely for you now now 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:32.000 that you've got an eighteen year old daughter. But it's 0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:35.960 written by Meren porter On. It was on nine dot 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:39.120 com dot au or whatever that website is, and it 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:42.880 is about just yesterday I took We've Got a Pump 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:45.720 track over the road and Odie is five now, and 0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:48.880 he's my youngest and I got a what it's a 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:52.440 pump track, like a bipump track. So it's like this 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:55.600 kind of like with this ramp sort of like with 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:59.400 like bumps and you go around and yeah, you're not 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:01.080 meant to kind of pedal, you kind of pump the 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:05.160 bike around. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, every kid breaks their 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:07.120 arms on it. But he's only just got into a 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:11.640 big boy bike and it's so watching him. Yesterday I 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:14.640 consciously said, put your phone down and watch your little boy, 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:17.320 and just watching him fly around, and I just had 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:19.480 all those going to make me cry now, But that 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:22.120 was my baby, Like, he's my last one, and he's 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:27.120 now growing up and doing things that you don't like. 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:29.800 You know, when they're little, you don't expect them to 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:31.800 do things, and I'm like, oh, you're doing things now 0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:35.240 that Yeah, I can't explain it, but it's the last 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:38.280 for me because he's my last one. But he's so 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:42.680 me still, like he's I don't see him as separate 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:45.120 to me. The older two I see is separate to me, 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:49.160 but he's still mine and he's still just this little 0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:52.760 guy that is my sidekick. And yesterday, looking at him, 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.520 I'm like, oh, fuck, you're becoming more your own person, 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:59.720 like you're out there riding your bike, chatting to little kids, 0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:02.000 and just am having more and more of those moments 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:02.560 at the moment. 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:03.320 Yeah. 0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:07.880 Anyway, so this piece this morning I read and I thought, 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:12.360 I want to read it out to you. And it's 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:16.119 a lady's written it because her son is away and 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:18.000 it's the first time he's been away for one of 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:22.080 his birthdays. So he's obviously I think he's about nineteen, 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:25.680 and she shared every birthday with him, but he's not 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:28.880 here for his birthday this year, and it's just kind 0:17:28.920 --> 0:17:32.480 of hit her that, oh, like, yeah, that's I don't 0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:35.040 just automatically get to have you for your birthdays. And 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:36.840 it made me think, I'm like, I still have my 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:39.479 boys for all their birthdays at the moment, but I'm 0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:40.440 not always going. 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:43.080 To, you know, deal trip the shit out of them. 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:44.720 Yeah, just come home. 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:46.240 So I gave birth to you. 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:51.000 It's my birthday, all right, So I'm going to read 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:54.720 you this. Yeah, mother and son, son and mother. We 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:57.440 were inseparable in the early years. It was hard to 0:17:57.520 --> 0:17:59.960 know where I ended and he began. Until that time 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:04.399 between has started to stretch. That invisible tether grew longer wider, 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:09.120 from baby to toddler to little boy, big boy, adolescent, teen, 0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:12.840 late teen, and finally an adult. That string, whether you 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:15.800 call it your heart string or your apron string, strained 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:19.800 and strained until it almost but never quite snapped. You 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.280 go from being your child's favorite person to their least 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:25.720 favorite person almost overnight. One minute he is clinging to 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:28.280 your legs begging you not to leave him at childcare 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:30.720 for a few hours, to hopping on a bus for 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:34.119 school camp without even looking back. That first time without 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:36.439 contact feels like a piece of your heart has been 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:40.200 taken out of your chest. Recently, he has talked more 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:43.160 about moving overseas for work or sport, or a stint 0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:45.800 of studying abroad. Each time he says it, it's like 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:48.800 an arrow piercing my heart. How will I cope without 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:52.240 seeing him every day, knowing if he is safe, Listening 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:54.240 for a car to pull up and the key to 0:18:54.320 --> 0:18:56.840 go into the front door, the sounds that calms a 0:18:56.920 --> 0:18:59.920 mother's heart. Then I remind myself I will have to 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:03.600 for he is not mine. Yes, he was given to 0:19:03.680 --> 0:19:07.320 me for a short rile, too short, but he was 0:19:07.440 --> 0:19:10.399 only on loan just one year. As a baby was 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:12.800 all I got a couple. As a toddler, you get 0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:15.520 the drift. So while I am sad today that I 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:17.520 don't get to wrap my arms around my son on 0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:20.840 his birthday, I am happy he is walking along his 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:24.320 own path, a path that has been illuminated by the 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:26.280 thousands of steps we took together. 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:29.320 Oh that's beautiful. 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:32.000 Isn't that so beautiful? I loved it, and I was like, 0:19:32.080 --> 0:19:35.720 that's so timely for you and also for me having 0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:39.440 a mini that. I'm like, we're still so tethered together, 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:44.240 but he's slowly not you know, I know, motherhood parenting 0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:44.960 so full on. 0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:50.200 Yeah it is, but I feel pretty solid in that 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:54.680 theull always need us, Like, yeah, I don't think that 0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:56.840 ever goes away. I think it's just the idea of 0:19:57.800 --> 0:20:00.840 their life will take off. We have to just sit 0:20:01.000 --> 0:20:02.280 and watch it happen, like. 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:07.119 Yeah, yeah, overseas, trips that I'm going to move in 0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:07.800 with so and. 0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:10.560 So, like all of that. You know, I don't know 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:12.399 if I said this to you, but my daughter had 0:20:12.480 --> 0:20:14.800 said at one point she's got this thing, she really 0:20:14.840 --> 0:20:17.119 wants to travel and whatever, and I'm like, okay, okay, 0:20:17.400 --> 0:20:19.760 but in my head, I'm like, yep, Yep, great idea, 0:20:19.920 --> 0:20:22.760 because I know it's not a reality yet. But I 0:20:22.880 --> 0:20:24.960 said to her she'd said something about it at some point, 0:20:25.080 --> 0:20:28.560 maybe wanting to live overseas or something. And I said 0:20:28.600 --> 0:20:31.960 to her, this is really really hard to say, but 0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:37.280 we want you to listen to our advice. But what 0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:39.919