1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: Today, groovers, hope you're great. So what you're about to 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: hear today, if you choose to continue, it's like mission impossible, 3 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:11,840 Speaker 1: if you so choose to open the typ envelope. Anyway, 4 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: this conversation, well, it's more soliloquy, it's more a monologue. 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 1: It's more a meter you workshop. I did this quite 6 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: a while ago now and it is our most listened 7 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: to episode. It is called ungive Upable, and it seemed 8 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: to resonate with many people. So rather than reinventing the wheel, 9 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:38,919 Speaker 1: we've touched it up a little bit and yeah, I 10 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: hope you enjoy it, so have a listen. It's one 11 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: of those things that you may want to take notes, 12 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:47,919 Speaker 1: you might want to you might listen to it and go, 13 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to go back. But there's just a lot 14 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: of good stuff of getting out of just the inspiration 15 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,639 Speaker 1: and the motivation all of that into the practical reality 16 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: of how the fuck do I actually change my life? 17 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: And that is very much what this is about. It's 18 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 1: also I will say, have it you know, little aster risk. 19 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,039 Speaker 1: If you're a bit press harden the fuck up? No, 20 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: you just kidding. If you're a bit presh, might not 21 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,679 Speaker 1: be a thing, and that's okay too. Anyway, here we 22 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:18,960 Speaker 1: go becoming unfucking give upable, all right, I want to 23 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:23,560 Speaker 1: talk about the propensity that we have to give up, 24 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:28,680 Speaker 1: to stop, to throw in the towel, to make excuses 25 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 1: to rationalize not doing it anymore. And so, as you 26 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: would have seen, I'm calling this podcast becoming ungive Upable, 27 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: which is a ridiculous title, but it made me laugh 28 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: when I thought of that word unngive upable, because I 29 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: would like to be ungive upable. I don't think I 30 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,960 Speaker 1: am that, but I think I'm working towards it. And 31 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: I don't know that it depends what you call giving 32 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: up too. I'm not talking about sometimes we just decide 33 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: to not do something because that's strategically necessary or medically 34 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: necessary or practically necessary. I'm not talking about that. I'm 35 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 1: talking about I'm talking today about the things that we 36 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: just throw the towel in on that we know that 37 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 1: we shouldn't, the things that we rationalize when we know 38 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: our rationale is actually bullshit, and the times when and 39 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,679 Speaker 1: again there's no I don't mean to be any judgment 40 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,640 Speaker 1: in this, just acknowledgment because I have done not only 41 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: have I done this. I've done it many, many, many times. 42 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: So I'm speaking from personal experience that is me doing it, 43 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: and also personal experience working with tens of thousands of 44 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 1: people for decades who have also struggled with this idea 45 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 1: of maintaining the behavior, doing the thing, doing the work, 46 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: creating new habits, creating a new operating system, creating a 47 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:54,239 Speaker 1: new behavioral default setting and new eating, default setting, exercise, 48 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 1: default setting work, default setting, relationship to fault setting, whatever 49 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 1: it is. So that thing that we used to do 50 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: when we were temporarily motivated becomes the thing that we 51 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 1: do all the time now because we've created a new blueprint. 52 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 1: We've created a new system, a subconscious, conscious, behavioral, and 53 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:22,639 Speaker 1: practical operating system that aligns with our goals and our 54 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:27,360 Speaker 1: purpose and our values. And so what we know is 55 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: what we know is and I've mentioned this a few 56 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: times over the years, that gym owners can sell or 57 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: gyms can sell more memberships than the gym can accommodate 58 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: because they know that people won't come, They know that 59 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: people will make decisions that they don't follow through on. 60 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 1: They know that people will come in the door, they'll 61 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: hand over their money, they'll sign up for a year 62 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: or two years, or they'll sign up on a direct debit, weekly, monthly, 63 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: whatever it is, and more than likely they will not 64 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: use that gym or those resources or that membership the 65 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 1: way that they intended to on day one. More people 66 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: won't do it than will. So the gym that I 67 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: currently train at has I think it's around fifteen or 68 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: sixteen hundred members. I don't have data on how many 69 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,760 Speaker 1: go or don't go, but I go at all times 70 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: of the day, and I can tell you I see 71 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 1: a lot of the same people there, and I'm there 72 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: seven days a week, and it's not often I see 73 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I see new people. Yeah, but you would 74 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: think that if all of those fifteen or sixteen hundred 75 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,040 Speaker 1: people were training, that I would see just constantly different 76 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:43,159 Speaker 1: people than I don't. So, you know, the best guess 77 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 1: is that they're or my best guess is that there 78 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: are somewhere around fifteen to twenty percent of people who 79 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:53,559 Speaker 1: train who are current members, who train consistently and well 80 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,839 Speaker 1: and do what they intended to do. There's and again 81 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,359 Speaker 1: this is bro science, this is from forty years of 82 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,040 Speaker 1: working in gim and watching. There's maybe another twenty percent 83 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:07,560 Speaker 1: who are somewhat spasmodic. There's maybe another twenty percent who 84 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: go every now and then, and then there's forty percent 85 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 1: who are current members who pretty much never go. And 86 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: so now that's not the fold of the gym. That's 87 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 1: just a reflection on or a commentary on our ability 88 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,239 Speaker 1: to do the thing that we set out to do. Yeah, 89 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,920 Speaker 1: so I have a few questions. I want to go 90 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: through some general stuff, some practical stuff, some cognitive stuff, 91 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: and I want to ask a few questions. And I 92 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 1: guess the reason that I'm very passionate about this is 93 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: because as a coach, personal trainer, exercise scientist, you know, 94 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: high performance speaker, blah blah, all the shit that I do. 95 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: Not an expert though, by the way, not an expert, 96 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,559 Speaker 1: but just a bloke who's spent a lot of time 97 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,599 Speaker 1: talking to people about change. Like literally, you think about 98 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,479 Speaker 1: my job. When I go into work with a company 99 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:05,039 Speaker 1: at one thousand people or ten people, we're talking about change. 100 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: That is, how do we think better, do better, connect better, perform, better, 101 00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:11,279 Speaker 1: serve our clients, better, create a better culture. How do 102 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:15,600 Speaker 1: we do better? Better? Equals change? Positive change. When someone 103 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: comes to my workshop or a seminar, They're not there 104 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 1: because they want no results or no change or no difference. 105 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:24,799 Speaker 1: They're there because they want to change. There's something about 106 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 1: the way they think or do life, or behave, or 107 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:31,720 Speaker 1: interact or communicate or experience the world around them that 108 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: they want to change. When someone joins a gym, it's 109 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 1: the same. When someone sees a dietitian. It's the same. 110 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,040 Speaker 1: When someone jumps into my mentoring group on Monday nights, 111 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: as you know, where nearly finished our twelve week program. 112 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,720 Speaker 1: It's the same. When someone buys one of my books, 113 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,720 Speaker 1: it's because they want to learn, or they want to evolve, 114 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 1: or they want to be prompted or motivated, or they 115 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 1: want to be informed. Because why because something's not working? 116 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 1: Why do people listen listen to this podcast? Well, for 117 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 1: a range of reasons, but one of the dominant reasons 118 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 1: is because there's shit I want to learn and understand 119 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 1: and know. Because there's stuff about me or my body 120 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 1: or my thinking, or my habits, or my life, or 121 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: my behavior or my outcomes or my relationships or my 122 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: self talk all my stories. There's something that I need 123 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: to change. I know I need to change, but by 124 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: the way I've known that I've needed to change it 125 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 1: for ten years and I haven't. So that's the conversation. 126 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: The conversation is why not? How do I become the 127 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:42,119 Speaker 1: person that makes decision, the decision that creates, the plan 128 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 1: that implements, the plan that does the work, that adapts 129 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: to the bullshit, that works around the messiness of life 130 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 1: and the messiness of people, and the messiness and uncertainty 131 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: and unpredictability of things, events, happenings. How do I be 132 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 1: that person that, in the middle of all of those 133 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 1: uncontrollables and variables, me the controllable. I can control me. 134 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: I can control my behavior and to an extent, my 135 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 1: thoughts and my choices and my reactions. How do I 136 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: be the person that doesn't keep giving up? And why 137 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: am I not that person already? Do I have a 138 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: history of stopping and starting? This is a question for you, 139 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: the listener. Do you have a history? Again? This is 140 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 1: not about beating yourself up. This is just about being honest. 141 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: This is about being aware. This is about going You 142 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: know what I do, I keep stopping and starting. I'm 143 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 1: going to go welcome to a really big club. That's okay, 144 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: You're not bad, You're not broken. You're not weird, You're human. 145 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 1: Me too. I've spent a lot of my life starting 146 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,839 Speaker 1: and stopping things that I shouldn't have stopped. I should 147 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: have just maintained. But did I know? Am I broken 148 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: and weird? No? I'm just like you. We're the same. 149 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 1: So the question is not what's wrong with me? The 150 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: question is what is it that that precipitates this falling 151 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: off the horse all the time? Or off the wagon, 152 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 1: the metaphoric wagon that doesn't exist? What is that? So 153 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: do I have a history of stopping and starting? And 154 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: what's really what's really stopped me? Like? Why do I 155 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:28,440 Speaker 1: really give up? And if we're being really honest, okay, 156 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:32,400 Speaker 1: I'll be really honest. Why have I stopped in the past? Well, 157 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 1: the main reason is it's hard the end and it's hard. 158 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 1: It's uncomfortable. Sometimes, it's impractical, it's unfamiliar, it doesn't in 159 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,560 Speaker 1: the moment, it doesn't suit me in the moment. You 160 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,079 Speaker 1: know what I want in the moment? I want fucking cake, 161 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: That's why. And I know that in the moment I 162 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: can gratify myself. I can self gratify with cake, I 163 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:02,320 Speaker 1: can self gratify with chocolate milk, and ice cream mixed 164 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: in the blender. I can self gratify with a hamburger 165 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: with fucking white bread, sandwiches with potato cakes and salt 166 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 1: and pepper and cheese and sauce. Oh fuck, I'm getting 167 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 1: myself into a state as I speak, Come on, right, 168 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 1: and I know that I can eat. You know, I 169 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 1: just talk about food because that's my issue, not drugs, 170 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: not booze. But for me, that's been my issue. Why 171 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 1: did I do it? Well, I did it. I did 172 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 1: it because it made me momentarily feel fucking amazing. And 173 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 1: so the biggest challenge for me, and dare I say, 174 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,959 Speaker 1: the biggest challenge for many of you moving forward, brothers 175 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 1: and sisters, is our ability, Oh come on, our ability 176 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: to delay gratification, Our ability in the middle of that shit, 177 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 1: in the middle of that moment of fuck will I 178 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 1: won't ee, in the middle of that moment of temptation, 179 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 1: and that fucking no one's looking, no one will know 180 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 1: I deserve this. Like what we do is we have 181 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:08,680 Speaker 1: this inner war where we start to tell ourself a 182 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,200 Speaker 1: story that we know is bullshit, and we start to 183 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 1: rationalize it. And usually the antidote or the justification is 184 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:20,319 Speaker 1: it's all right, it's just now. It's all right. I'll 185 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 1: go for a run later, or I'll start again tomorrow. 186 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 1: I'll be back on track tomorrow, and then it's July. 187 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 1: This is what we do. And the reason the reasons 188 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 1: that we do that are many. One of them is 189 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 1: that we are, in many ways hardwired for pleasure. We are, 190 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: and we are hardwired for instant gratification. And of course, 191 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:47,679 Speaker 1: as do I we just love feeling fucking great. But 192 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,400 Speaker 1: the problem is that that feeling fucking great is very 193 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:56,839 Speaker 1: short lived. Nobody who is out of shape or overweight, 194 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 1: or over fat or unhealthy, and I mean all of 195 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 1: these things with respect because I have been all of those. 196 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 1: Nobody nobody goes and over indulges and then two hours 197 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:12,560 Speaker 1: later feels great. Nobody, everybody, either physically or emotionally or psychologically, 198 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 1: or all of those, when they've just gone and overeaten 199 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 1: and eat a whole lot of food that their body 200 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 1: doesn't need, whether they've got this inner battle going on 201 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,559 Speaker 1: because they simultaneously want to feel great in the moment, 202 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 1: but they also want to change their body over time. 203 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 1: Nobody feels great about that. And this is our challenge, 204 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 1: Our challenge is that. Well. One of the big challenges 205 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 1: with this is that the journey that we need to take. 206 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 1: This is why we talk about the narrow path, because 207 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 1: very few people take this journey, and this journey is 208 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 1: the I am not going to do that thing that 209 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 1: makes me feel momentarily good. But also what's not going 210 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,960 Speaker 1: to happen is today I'm not going to change significantly. 211 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,199 Speaker 1: I'm going to avoid the I'm going to avoid the 212 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: chips and the potato cake sandwich. But I'm not going 213 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 1: to necessarily lose weight today. I'm not going to wake 214 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:10,960 Speaker 1: up tomorrow and be ten kilos better off. I'm not 215 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 1: going to wake up tomorrow with abs because my journey 216 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: is maybe a three, six or twelve month journey to 217 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,679 Speaker 1: get to the place where I feel and look and 218 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,880 Speaker 1: function the way that I want. So what I'll do 219 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,839 Speaker 1: is I'll just eat this shit right now and I'll 220 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 1: start tomorrow, and that dialogue will I will eat this 221 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:31,559 Speaker 1: shit and start tomorrow. That becomes a record in our 222 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 1: brain that plays on repeat for fucking decades. And some 223 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,560 Speaker 1: of you, I'm talking right to you, I'm saying you 224 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 1: need to take that record off that turntable, smash it 225 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 1: in a million pieces and create a new operating system. 226 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 1: And also we need to get to the point where 227 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:56,680 Speaker 1: we stop looking for something or someone or some pill 228 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:02,319 Speaker 1: or some program or some post or some fucking scientific 229 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 1: breakthrough to do the work, to do the work, because 230 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,800 Speaker 1: not only does doing the work ourselves create the outcome 231 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: that we want, the physical outcome, right, not only does 232 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:18,080 Speaker 1: it create the outcome, but what it does it also 233 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 1: changes who we are and how we think and how 234 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 1: we operate and how we do life. Because when you 235 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 1: finally get to the point where you go from being 236 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: the person who's going around and round and round in 237 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 1: this kind of groundhog day existence of starting and stopping 238 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 1: and losing a bit and gaining a bit, or giving 239 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 1: up cigarettes and taking them up or whatever. The doesn't 240 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: need to be anything about food or dope or cigarettes 241 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: or booze. It could be some other destructive habit, right, 242 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: But when we keep going around and round and round 243 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 1: in circles, we just build an existence for ourselves that's 244 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 1: almost impossible to get out of. And time stands still, 245 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,600 Speaker 1: you know, and at the same time it flies and 246 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 1: we kind of lose perspective. And so for us it's 247 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:16,040 Speaker 1: really necessary to go the answer is me. There is 248 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 1: no shortcut or hack or quick fix not to create 249 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 1: lasting change. And we are we are challenged because all 250 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 1: around us, you know, there would be many businesses, many businesses, 251 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 1: many products, many services, many people that would be out 252 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 1: of business. If everyone in Australia and around the world 253 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 1: stopped buying quick fix type services, a lot of businesses 254 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 1: would go broke tomorrow. Right if everyone stopped buying the shortcut, 255 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 1: the fat burner, the this that, the eight weeks of this, 256 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: the four days of that, the hack, this like if 257 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: everyone just went, well, I've done. Let me see, I've 258 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 1: tried thirty seven different shortcuts, and here I am worse 259 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,000 Speaker 1: than when I started. Worse, not even in the same place. 260 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:18,560 Speaker 1: I'm worse. So, after you do thirty seven shortcuts or 261 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 1: thirty seven miracle cures or pills, or you listen to 262 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: thirty seven gurus who will tell you how to get 263 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: the result without doing the work right, at some stage, 264 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,040 Speaker 1: hopefully you get to the point where you go, oh, 265 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:37,040 Speaker 1: they don't actually care about me. They just want my money. 266 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: And also, not only don't they care about me, they 267 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: don't actually know me. And this is why sometimes well 268 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,960 Speaker 1: I polarize people for a range of reasons, because I 269 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 1: say fuck a million times. Probably that's part of it. Ah, 270 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 1: get over it though, But the other part is because 271 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:04,159 Speaker 1: I my message is not sexy, yep, my message is 272 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:08,159 Speaker 1: not feel good. My message is not oh yeah, you 273 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:11,159 Speaker 1: can do anything. You can't fucking do anything. You can't. 274 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 1: You can't run one hundred meters in nine seconds. You 275 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:15,680 Speaker 1: can't get up on the roof of the house and 276 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,399 Speaker 1: fly to the house next door. You fucking can't. We 277 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: can't all become prime minister. We can't all be elite athletes. 278 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 1: We can't all be world famous singers. We can't for 279 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:30,119 Speaker 1: a range of reasons. That's not negative, that's just fucking real. 280 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:35,600 Speaker 1: But however, asterisk, we most of us can do a 281 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:40,439 Speaker 1: lot more than we're currently doing. And so, you know, 282 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,719 Speaker 1: I think we need to step out of the you know, 283 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:51,200 Speaker 1: the the self help bullshit and into the practical reality 284 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,680 Speaker 1: of Okay, I'm a grown ass man, I'm a grown 285 00:17:55,720 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 1: ass woman. I have if I'm being honest, you know, 286 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,679 Speaker 1: I've been going around in circles with the same issue 287 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:07,480 Speaker 1: for a very long time, and I've asked a thousand 288 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 1: people a thousand questions, and I've read this and I've 289 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 1: done that, and I've tried this, and I've tried that. 290 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 1: But nonetheless, here I am, and I'm still doing the 291 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,680 Speaker 1: same thing that doesn't work. I'm still choosing to do things. 292 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:28,960 Speaker 1: I am still consciously choosing to do things which self 293 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:34,960 Speaker 1: sabotage my own goals. I am not accidentally eating shit. 294 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:39,400 Speaker 1: I am choosing it. And the reason that I'm choosing 295 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 1: it is because I'm not fully committed to the process 296 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 1: of changing my life, habits, behavior's outcome. Because being fully committed, Like, 297 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 1: why do people commit to twelve eight and ten week programs, Well, 298 00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:00,679 Speaker 1: because they're twelve eight and ten weeks long, that's why. 299 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:10,040 Speaker 1: Because it's short term, because it's temporary, because I can stop, right. 300 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:16,160 Speaker 1: But why don't people do forty year programs? What? What? What? 301 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 1: Because on a subconscious level, we want to get out 302 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 1: of jail card. We like the idea of looking permanently 303 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:29,240 Speaker 1: amazing and having a permanently I'm talking about, you know, 304 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,440 Speaker 1: for our potential. I'm not talking about instant model. I'm 305 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:36,359 Speaker 1: talking about whoever you are, wherever you are, what you 306 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,360 Speaker 1: know what eight or nine or ten out of ten 307 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 1: out of ten is for you, not compared to anyone. 308 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:46,120 Speaker 1: But when we go okay, everyone, put up your hand. 309 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: If you want permanent positive change, that is, you want 310 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:53,359 Speaker 1: to look feel function good forever. Everyone puts up their hand. 311 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: Now put up your hand. If you're all going to 312 00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:00,879 Speaker 1: do the work required forever, the hands stay down. Why 313 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:08,800 Speaker 1: are well? Huh? Because you've got to have a life. 314 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,440 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's it. Oh yeah, Oh there's my guy. 315 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,920 Speaker 1: You've got to have a life. Okay, you've got to 316 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 1: have a life. Let's explore that. What does that mean? 317 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 1: So does that mean if you're not eating shit or 318 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,679 Speaker 1: getting pissed or falling down or doing dumb things that 319 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,600 Speaker 1: are inconsistent with your values of goals? Does that mean 320 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:29,240 Speaker 1: you're not living your best life or you're not having 321 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,439 Speaker 1: a life. Oh no, no, but that's you said to me, 322 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 1: you've got to have a life. So what does having 323 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,159 Speaker 1: a life mean? I would suggest that having a life 324 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 1: means walking around in your best body, with your best health, 325 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,639 Speaker 1: your best mindset, doing your best job, being in your 326 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:47,159 Speaker 1: best relationship, having the best lifestyle. That doesn't mean it's 327 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 1: all going to be perfect, of course, because nothing is 328 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: perfect and no one is perfect. But what's required for 329 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 1: you to live more optimally or more ideally, or more 330 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 1: congruently or more authentically or more in alignment. You know, 331 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:09,720 Speaker 1: I believe that there needs to be a deep, deep, deep, 332 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:18,600 Speaker 1: deep internal revolution, not an external solution. A deep, deep 333 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 1: internal revolution, not an external solution, because I have seen 334 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,719 Speaker 1: people with not much talent or potential or knowledge or 335 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,880 Speaker 1: resources or support. I have seen many people do fucking 336 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:40,679 Speaker 1: unbelievable things when they were one hundred percent committed to 337 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:46,240 Speaker 1: doing the work. Yep, you and I spoke with a 338 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:50,480 Speaker 1: lady yesterday who Marie who. I'm not sure the timeline 339 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,760 Speaker 1: of our episodes, but she'll either be up soon or 340 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,719 Speaker 1: she was on recently. By the time you guys hear this, 341 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 1: I'd say she's probably been on recently. But she literally 342 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,119 Speaker 1: fell down a mountain four hundred and fifty meters and 343 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:08,359 Speaker 1: hit rocks all the way and was given no chance 344 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,639 Speaker 1: of survival. They basically went to retrieve her body. The 345 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:15,120 Speaker 1: rescue crew basically went just to collect a body. They 346 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 1: got there and she wasn't dead, obviously, And you know, 347 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,760 Speaker 1: I mean, she pretty much broke everything in her body, 348 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 1: you know, fifteen ribs, broke her spine, broke her neck, 349 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 1: broke her pelvis, broke her foot, had her kidney, her liver, 350 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,679 Speaker 1: her lungs shut down. She was on eventilator, she was 351 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 1: in a coma for a month and a half. She 352 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:43,040 Speaker 1: was good, you know. And now here's the thing. What's 353 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 1: that skull? That's right skull? She had an internal brain hemorrhage, 354 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:52,160 Speaker 1: an external brain hemorrhage, a form of a stroke. And 355 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 1: here's the thing, right, And we spoke to her as 356 00:22:56,280 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 1: we're recording this, We spoke to her yesterday. And what 357 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:07,400 Speaker 1: this woman, what this fucking incredible, amazing, inspiring woman has 358 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:12,919 Speaker 1: been able to do because she has just tapped into 359 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 1: this fucking reservoir of possibilities and potential that most of 360 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:26,159 Speaker 1: us don't tap into. She is not gifted, she said it. 361 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:32,479 Speaker 1: She's not genetically gifted. There's nothing special in inverted commas 362 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 1: about her other than her thinking and her behaving, and 363 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:42,480 Speaker 1: all of that is optional. Now. I know this sounds melodramatic, 364 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,399 Speaker 1: but when I talk to people and they start to 365 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:49,800 Speaker 1: complain about how hard their life is, I want them 366 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 1: to sit down with Marie and you can go, oh, yeah, 367 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:59,120 Speaker 1: but it's all relative. Maybe maybe, but guess what we're 368 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:03,920 Speaker 1: all Where is our relative? Where does our reality come from. 369 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 1: I'm not talking about our situation, circumstance, environment, I'm not 370 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,720 Speaker 1: talking about our external world. I'm talking about our internal reality. 371 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:16,200 Speaker 1: It comes largely from our stories. And if our story 372 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,199 Speaker 1: is I deserve this piece of cake or whatever. And 373 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,960 Speaker 1: by the way, I'm not anti cake or pizza. I'm 374 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 1: not saying, whatever your issue is, you need to apply 375 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,679 Speaker 1: this principle or you don't need to do anything. But 376 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 1: I'm talking about applying these ideas and principles to your challenge. 377 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,880 Speaker 1: It might have nothing to do with food or your body. 378 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 1: It could be something else. But what I know, and 379 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,639 Speaker 1: I've seen it time and time again, like with Johnny 380 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,399 Speaker 1: that got blown up, with my old man that had 381 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,320 Speaker 1: a heart attack and died three times, like with Marie 382 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:47,160 Speaker 1: that fell down a mountain, that normal people can do 383 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 1: fucking incredible things when they have a story in their 384 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 1: mind that says, oh, this is not optional anymore. This 385 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,400 Speaker 1: is not something I'm going to do if I'm inspired 386 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,920 Speaker 1: or motivatd This is something that I'm going to do. 387 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 1: That thing that I used to do, I don't do 388 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,800 Speaker 1: that anymore. I don't do that anymore. This is my 389 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,960 Speaker 1: new normal. This is not only is this my new normal. 390 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 1: I don't have a choice. Now I can't do the 391 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,280 Speaker 1: things I used to do. I literally can't do the 392 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,639 Speaker 1: things I used to do. So now I have to 393 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: adjust and adapt to build this new life. And what 394 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,400 Speaker 1: I have said many times is we see what happens 395 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:36,280 Speaker 1: when people are backed into a corner through medical reasons 396 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 1: or some kind of life threatening experience or some kind 397 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:47,600 Speaker 1: of catastrophe. We see repeatedly people who have not been 398 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,760 Speaker 1: able to do certain things turn their habits, thinking, life, 399 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,480 Speaker 1: and behaviors around almost in a day because they had 400 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:59,480 Speaker 1: an experience. So what that tells us is that ability 401 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:05,439 Speaker 1: was always there. What happened in the experience, Well, what 402 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 1: happened was there was a complete shift in thinking. Hmm. 403 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:14,639 Speaker 1: Because the mind is the driver. The mind is the driver. 404 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,639 Speaker 1: Somebody said to me yesterday, how are you going with 405 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:24,640 Speaker 1: your PhD? And I went, yeah, you know, it's it's 406 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,199 Speaker 1: it's work, you know, And they're like, do you regret 407 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:32,440 Speaker 1: starting it? I went no, and they went is it 408 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,159 Speaker 1: as hard as you thought it would be? And I 409 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:38,199 Speaker 1: went harder? And I thought it would be hard. And 410 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:41,760 Speaker 1: they're like, if if you were going to start, like 411 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,159 Speaker 1: if you didn't have it and you got the up. 412 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,240 Speaker 1: Would you if you started again? Like, would you do 413 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,479 Speaker 1: it again? I got one hundred percent? You know, And 414 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:56,440 Speaker 1: so like I I'm constantly learning new things. And I'm 415 00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:00,440 Speaker 1: constantly and it's not even about my area of research 416 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,920 Speaker 1: that I'm learning so much. I'm learning, of course because 417 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,640 Speaker 1: I'm studying and I'm doing a literature review with lots 418 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:11,000 Speaker 1: of other kind of insecting psychological theories and constructs and 419 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,359 Speaker 1: how they interact or intersect or relate to my stuff. 420 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 1: All that, all the psychology. That's cool, that's relatively interesting, sorry, 421 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,720 Speaker 1: relatively easy. It's very interesting. It's relatively easy. But what's 422 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 1: hard for me is learning how to load one hundred 423 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,919 Speaker 1: surveys into qualtrics and learn all of these programs and 424 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,159 Speaker 1: all of this technology and learn how to do you know, 425 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 1: it's the because I'm fifty seven and not twenty seven. 426 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 1: It's all the technology and all the stuff that you know, 427 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 1: Like even last time I studied at university was twenty 428 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 1: years ago, and that you know, there were still computers around, 429 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,560 Speaker 1: but it was still very I mean we still literally 430 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:56,600 Speaker 1: had a library full of books. Where I am there's 431 00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:01,400 Speaker 1: no library, there are no books, no physical library there's 432 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,200 Speaker 1: not Oh, let's walk into the because nobody uses them, 433 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 1: not where I'm at anyway, not not at PhD level. 434 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:13,399 Speaker 1: It's all online academic journals. You know, it's different. But 435 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:16,840 Speaker 1: I think once you go, And by the way, could 436 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 1: I fuck up and fail? I could? I hope I don't. 437 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: But I'm practical. I go, Well, of course it's hard. 438 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,960 Speaker 1: It's a fucking PhD. Of course it's hard. Of Course 439 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:30,479 Speaker 1: you're tired. Of Course it sucks. Of course, it's long hours. 440 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,040 Speaker 1: Of course, it's a massive commitment. You're not doing a 441 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: fucking you know, you're not doing a four week tafe 442 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:41,160 Speaker 1: course in fucking cake making. God bless all the cake makers. 443 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 1: You know. It's like, this is what you took on, 444 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:48,400 Speaker 1: you fucking idiot. So that's what's required. Don't complain. So 445 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 1: I don't complain. I just but if someone says to me, 446 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,920 Speaker 1: is it hard, I'll tell them the truth. Yeah. Is 447 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 1: it exhausting? Yep? You know. Would you do it again? Yep? 448 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,280 Speaker 1: And you know why I do it again because one, 449 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,880 Speaker 1: in a weird way, it is fun in a weird way, 450 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 1: I kind of sometimes pain is fun, you know, but 451 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:11,560 Speaker 1: also what it's doing is it's I'm developing new skills, 452 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,480 Speaker 1: I'm learning a new language. I'm you know, it's like, 453 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,120 Speaker 1: you know, if you break your life into pretend your 454 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 1: life as a whole bunch of rooms, you know, it's 455 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 1: just your life is a composite of different rooms. And 456 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,280 Speaker 1: one room you go in and there's your family. There's 457 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 1: your mum and dad, Melissa, and your sister and your 458 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 1: brother in Laura and Hugo and what's her name, the 459 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 1: little one, not Hugo, don't tell me. It's Olivia and Alexander. Yeah, 460 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,880 Speaker 1: And you know, that's one room. And then you go 461 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:43,560 Speaker 1: to another room and there's work, and then you go 462 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 1: to another room. And you know, depending on where you're at, 463 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,680 Speaker 1: you kind of you have different levels of experience or 464 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,640 Speaker 1: different kinds of experience. So, for example, when I come 465 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,040 Speaker 1: into the podcast room, which is one of the rooms 466 00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 1: in the house, that is my life. You know, it's fun, 467 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 1: it's enjoyable, there's a level, there's a level of confidence 468 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: and competence because I've done this many, many, many many times, 469 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,880 Speaker 1: and before that, I did a lot of radio, and 470 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,920 Speaker 1: so I come in here and as objective as I 471 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 1: can be, I go, I'm not bad at this I'm 472 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 1: okay at this, this is what I do. But then 473 00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:21,440 Speaker 1: I walk into the PhD room in my life and 474 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 1: I'm like fucking l plates on and training wheels and 475 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 1: falling down and getting up and bumping into things and 476 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 1: asking dumb questions. But that's the room that I'm in 477 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:37,000 Speaker 1: when I'm doing academia. Then I go into the public 478 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,200 Speaker 1: speaking room that is part of my life. I go, 479 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,160 Speaker 1: I'm not bad here either. I've done this a lot. 480 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 1: I'm okay, you know. Then I go into the you know, 481 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:49,120 Speaker 1: the managing my body room, and you know bits of that. 482 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:53,200 Speaker 1: There are different cupboards in that room. There's the exercise cupboard, 483 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 1: there's the food cupboard, there's the lifestyle cupboard. So even 484 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,959 Speaker 1: in that room, there are sub rooms, you know. And 485 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,920 Speaker 1: this is the thing, Like what we do is we 486 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:05,000 Speaker 1: tend to stay in the rooms where we're most comfortable. 487 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 1: What the byproduct of that is we don't grow. The 488 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,480 Speaker 1: byproduct of that is when we get forced into another 489 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,560 Speaker 1: room where fucked because we never leave our own room. 490 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,800 Speaker 1: We love being safe and comfortable and familiar and predictable, 491 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:22,200 Speaker 1: and we love but this is the thing, like when 492 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 1: you are stepping out of back to our topic, when 493 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:30,040 Speaker 1: you are stepping out of a behavioral program that doesn't work, 494 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,479 Speaker 1: or a habit that doesn't work, or a lifestyle that 495 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:39,600 Speaker 1: doesn't work, or a situation that doesn't work, you're stepping 496 00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,680 Speaker 1: into new territory, and part of your brain will fight that. 497 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:47,000 Speaker 1: Part of your brain will fight that because your brain's like, fuck, 498 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 1: we're not sure what's going on over here, so get fucked. 499 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 1: Let's go back to the couch that we know. 500 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, and also, all of a sudden, it's not as 501 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 2: exciting as it seemed in your head when you were 502 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,479 Speaker 2: picturing it or thinking about it to begin with. In 503 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,560 Speaker 2: the reality of when you're trying to do whatever that 504 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:07,240 Speaker 2: task is and you're in today forty seven of an 505 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 2: ongoing journey, it's nowhere near as fun. 506 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:14,000 Speaker 1: But that has to be done exactly. That's right then. 507 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:17,720 Speaker 1: And we've spoken many times about you know, the practical 508 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:22,440 Speaker 1: reality that motivation is temporary, and motivation is certainly valuable 509 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 1: when it's there, but we know that some people stay 510 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,800 Speaker 1: motivated for three hours, some people three days, some three weeks, 511 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 1: but nobody stays permanently motivated, like in that state of motivate, 512 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:40,000 Speaker 1: in that emotional that heightened emotional state of excitement anticipation. 513 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:45,120 Speaker 1: You know, nobody stays in that state permanently. People have 514 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,760 Speaker 1: peaks and troughs and good and bad days, and so 515 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,320 Speaker 1: we go, all right, well, let's acknowledge the impermanence of 516 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:56,400 Speaker 1: that state. Now, how do we create the permanence of 517 00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:02,240 Speaker 1: this habit? How do we How do I the dude 518 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,840 Speaker 1: who starts and stops and who is or has been 519 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:10,240 Speaker 1: dependent on motivation to get there? How do I become? 520 00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:15,560 Speaker 1: How do I discard that addiction? How do I discard 521 00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 1: that dependence? So if it's there, I'll use it because 522 00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:22,280 Speaker 1: it's a great tool. But when it's not there, so, 523 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:27,880 Speaker 1: you know, becoming ungive upable is about how do I 524 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 1: keep doing what I need to do to live my 525 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:36,080 Speaker 1: purpose or my values or my goals, or to create 526 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:39,680 Speaker 1: my optimal outcomes, or to be aligned to who I 527 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,680 Speaker 1: say I want to become. How do I do that 528 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,000 Speaker 1: when I can't be fucked? How do I do that 529 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 1: when everyone else would give up? How do I do 530 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,680 Speaker 1: that when I would have given up in the past? 531 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,080 Speaker 1: How do I do that when I don't, in inverted 532 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,160 Speaker 1: commas want to in the moment? How do I do that? 533 00:33:56,120 --> 00:34:00,840 Speaker 1: And this is why just trying a new pro doesn't 534 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:07,200 Speaker 1: work because it's about our default setting. It's about what's 535 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:11,120 Speaker 1: happening in us. You can do all the programs, and 536 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:14,120 Speaker 1: this is why some people get results on one program 537 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,200 Speaker 1: and other people don't get results on the same program, 538 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:21,279 Speaker 1: because if it was about the program, everyone would get 539 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:25,759 Speaker 1: the same outcome. It's about the individuals doing the program. 540 00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:31,000 Speaker 1: You know. I might have mentioned this once before, but 541 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,279 Speaker 1: I read something the other day and it's in one 542 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:37,839 Speaker 1: of the groups that or I need to not get 543 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:44,040 Speaker 1: myself in trouble. But anyway, I'll just say it. Someone 544 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,000 Speaker 1: posted I don't know if I said this to you 545 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,000 Speaker 1: might have been tear four. I don't know. I can't 546 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,200 Speaker 1: remember all the shit I say, but anyway, it's worth repeating. 547 00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,560 Speaker 1: So somebody was coming towards the end of their twelve 548 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:59,960 Speaker 1: weeks of Body Challenge program and they were doing their 549 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:06,520 Speaker 1: final photos and the caption was is it pizza o'clock yet? Oh? 550 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,480 Speaker 1: The caption wise, you know here in my final photos? 551 00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:14,040 Speaker 1: Is it pizza o'clock yet? Right? So, and by the way, 552 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:18,200 Speaker 1: this person looked amazing. But isn't it funny that we 553 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:22,240 Speaker 1: do this temporary thing eighty four days and we look different, 554 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 1: and we change our eating and we change our exercise, 555 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:29,279 Speaker 1: and we change our regime and our operating system, and 556 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,520 Speaker 1: we change, you know, what we're doing day to day. 557 00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,640 Speaker 1: But the one thing that this person posts about is 558 00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:40,959 Speaker 1: going and eating junk food. Now, wow, now I'm push right. 559 00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:45,200 Speaker 1: And it's not about the pizza. It's about the thinking. 560 00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:48,840 Speaker 1: It's about the why are you rewarding yourself with food 561 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:53,479 Speaker 1: that you avoided for the last eighty four days. Now 562 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,880 Speaker 1: you avoided that food for a reason. The reason is 563 00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:59,959 Speaker 1: you wanted to change your body and how you looked 564 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,440 Speaker 1: and felt and functioned. And you did, and now you 565 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,719 Speaker 1: look good, and now you feel good, and now you're 566 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:10,839 Speaker 1: functioning well. And now you're rewarding yourself with that thing 567 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,799 Speaker 1: that is actually at odds with what you've been doing. Yeah, 568 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 1: you know, and this thinking this, I'm going to reward 569 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:22,040 Speaker 1: myself with shit that so fucking annoys me. If you 570 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,760 Speaker 1: want to eat shit, eat shit, but don't motivate yourself 571 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:29,759 Speaker 1: with an unhealthy goal or an unhealthy target. It makes 572 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,600 Speaker 1: no sense to me. But the problem is that we 573 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,919 Speaker 1: have a story, and the story is, yeah, but if 574 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,960 Speaker 1: I don't eat pizza, or if I don't eat cake, 575 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,640 Speaker 1: or if I don't drink boozel, then I'm missing out. 576 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,319 Speaker 1: Let me tell you pizza. By the way, can you 577 00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,600 Speaker 1: have some pizza or booze or cake? Of course you can. 578 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,719 Speaker 1: I've never been against any of those things. When I 579 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:54,680 Speaker 1: talk about food, I'm always talking about the story, the 580 00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:59,640 Speaker 1: story that we have about food, because the story opens 581 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:03,239 Speaker 1: the door on the problem. If the story is I'm 582 00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,560 Speaker 1: rewarding myself with pizza because I haven't eaten pizza for 583 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:11,040 Speaker 1: eighty four days, that's a worry. Because if we said 584 00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,040 Speaker 1: to that person who now looks amazing after eighty four days, 585 00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:16,960 Speaker 1: would you like to look good for eighty four days 586 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:19,480 Speaker 1: or would you like to look good forever? They're going 587 00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:23,759 Speaker 1: to say forever. Then I'm going to say, why are 588 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,600 Speaker 1: you opening the door on this thing that probably I 589 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,040 Speaker 1: don't know about this person, But most people who do 590 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:33,239 Speaker 1: these programs, including me, I don't do the programs, but 591 00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:36,840 Speaker 1: I'm putting myself in this group. Most people have had 592 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:41,680 Speaker 1: or do have issues with food, issues with weight, issues 593 00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:47,040 Speaker 1: with appearance. Right, and we know that managing ourselves around 594 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:51,799 Speaker 1: food that's not ideal is part of the problem. Right. 595 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:56,879 Speaker 1: And this is why I love and hate twelve week, 596 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:58,960 Speaker 1: ten week, eight week programs. It's why I love and 597 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:03,120 Speaker 1: hate them. Love them because they can be the beginning 598 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,840 Speaker 1: of something. They can be the start of something amazing 599 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,759 Speaker 1: and transformative. And their structure and process and accountability, which 600 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,479 Speaker 1: are all good things. There's camaraderie, which is good, there's 601 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:18,240 Speaker 1: social connection, which is good. But there's also this subconscious 602 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:22,720 Speaker 1: knowing that, oh, I'm finished in three weeks, I'm finished 603 00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,480 Speaker 1: in two weeks, I'm finished in a week, I'm finished today. 604 00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: Is it pizza o'clock now? Right? And this is just 605 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:33,360 Speaker 1: the reality, and this is the problem. This is the problem. 606 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:36,719 Speaker 1: That food is not the problem. Our weight is not 607 00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,880 Speaker 1: the problem. What the number between our toes is not 608 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:43,399 Speaker 1: the problem. Our health state is not the problem. They 609 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:47,200 Speaker 1: are all just the consequences of the problem. The problem 610 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:51,319 Speaker 1: is that we don't fully commit. The problem is that 611 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,600 Speaker 1: we give up. Call it what you will. We give up, 612 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:58,399 Speaker 1: we stop, We throw in the towel again, I said 613 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,399 Speaker 1: earlier in the show, is a time to stop. Oh 614 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:03,840 Speaker 1: you've got a medical issue, you've been advised not to, 615 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,560 Speaker 1: you're in pain. All good. They're not excuses and they're 616 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:12,399 Speaker 1: not giving up. They're legit reasons reasons are reasons tick, 617 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:20,000 Speaker 1: but excuses are not reasons. Bullshit stories are not reasons. 618 00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,239 Speaker 1: And when I get people tell me, I would say 619 00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:27,399 Speaker 1: two in ten it's a legit reason eight inten it's 620 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,920 Speaker 1: bullshit or it's a version of bullshit. And I know 621 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,360 Speaker 1: because I'm the biggest bullshitter. I spent the vast majority 622 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:38,520 Speaker 1: of myself lying, of my time of my life lying lying, 623 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,719 Speaker 1: and so I'm being honest about my lying. Did I 624 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:45,480 Speaker 1: lie to myself? Yes? Did I lie to other people 625 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:49,960 Speaker 1: about my own habits and behaviors? One hundred percent? I did. 626 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:53,920 Speaker 1: And it takes courage to say that because it's embarrassing 627 00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,759 Speaker 1: and it's humiliating, But you know what else it is 628 00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:01,640 Speaker 1: it's honest. It's honest. And I can get defensive and go, 629 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,719 Speaker 1: oh yeah, but you don't but fuck and you get 630 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:07,399 Speaker 1: fucked and you get rooted and you or I can 631 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,880 Speaker 1: go nah, there is I'm the problem. I'm the problem, 632 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,520 Speaker 1: not self loathing, just self awareness. I'm the problem. You 633 00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:17,080 Speaker 1: know what, When I ate myself to one hundred and 634 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,799 Speaker 1: twenty kilos or thereabouts compared to my current eighty three, 635 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:25,440 Speaker 1: nobody had a gun to my head. I was I 636 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,279 Speaker 1: owned gyms. When I was doing that, I was an 637 00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,760 Speaker 1: exercise scientist. For God's sake, I was a personal trainer. 638 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:36,160 Speaker 1: I was a gym owner. I was educated, I was intelligent. 639 00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:40,120 Speaker 1: I had resources, I had information, I had access to 640 00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:43,919 Speaker 1: everything that I needed, and I ate my way to obesity. 641 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:50,240 Speaker 1: Nobody's faults but me, Oh, you shouldn't be hating yourself. 642 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:54,359 Speaker 1: I'm not fucking hating myself. I'm telling the truth, like 643 00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:58,400 Speaker 1: just the truth. There's no self loathing, just self awareness. 644 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:02,080 Speaker 1: And this is the problem. We're so fucking precious that 645 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:06,360 Speaker 1: nobody wants to own up to anything because they feel 646 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,759 Speaker 1: like they're hating themselves or someone else is going to 647 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,520 Speaker 1: go time. But you did your best, Bullshit, you fucking 648 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,040 Speaker 1: didn't do your best, because your best is your best 649 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:20,880 Speaker 1: is a better outcome. I didn't do my best hardly ever, 650 00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,920 Speaker 1: and you know this is the thing. Of course, there 651 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,840 Speaker 1: are going to be times when you know when you 652 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,279 Speaker 1: are trying and it's not working. Of course I'm not 653 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,600 Speaker 1: talking about that, but I'm just going we need to 654 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,480 Speaker 1: get to the point where at some stage, and this 655 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 1: is why I go around in circles and I go, hey, 656 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,760 Speaker 1: you go read whatever book you want, do whatever program 657 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,560 Speaker 1: you want, buy whatever pill, powder potion you want. Cool, 658 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,280 Speaker 1: and then in five years when you're in the same place, 659 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:47,000 Speaker 1: come back to me and let's have a chat. And 660 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,919 Speaker 1: by the way, I'm not the answer. And by the way, 661 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,080 Speaker 1: my podcast is not the answer. And by the way, 662 00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:54,759 Speaker 1: my programs and books they're not the answer. They're just resources. 663 00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,680 Speaker 1: And anyone who tells you that you are not the 664 00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:01,680 Speaker 1: answer to your own problems, they're scamming you. They want 665 00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:05,840 Speaker 1: your money, they want your dough. I'm telling you you, 666 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:11,759 Speaker 1: your brain, your choices, your resilience, your mental toughness, your attitude, 667 00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:17,720 Speaker 1: your decision making, that is the solution. That is the solution. 668 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:22,760 Speaker 1: You are the solution. And until you maybe hit rock bottom, 669 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,560 Speaker 1: which I hope you don't need to, maybe you're not 670 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:29,160 Speaker 1: going to change. I'm telling you a lot of people 671 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,759 Speaker 1: don't change till they hit rock bottom. The other thing 672 00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:33,680 Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you is you don't need to 673 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:38,160 Speaker 1: hit rock bottom. So, folks, I love you. I'm on 674 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:44,040 Speaker 1: your team. I know I'm a hard ass. Sometimes I'm honest, 675 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:46,839 Speaker 1: and I'm you know, by the way, am I off 676 00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:49,360 Speaker 1: and wrong? Fuck? I'm off and wrong? Could I be 677 00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:53,480 Speaker 1: wrong about this or some of this maybe probably, But 678 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:56,840 Speaker 1: what I do know is that I've been in this 679 00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:10,200 Speaker 1: space helping people change, working with bodies, bums, legs, mines, carbs, fat, protein, micros, macros, thinking, beliefs, values, attitudes, emotions, psychology. 680 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:12,359 Speaker 1: I've been working in this space for a very long 681 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 1: time with thousands of people, and a common observation and 682 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:20,439 Speaker 1: a common experience of mine, is people who don't think 683 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,279 Speaker 1: enough of themselves, who don't believe in themselves, who are 684 00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:29,719 Speaker 1: always looking for some external antidote. And it's just sometimes 685 00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:33,239 Speaker 1: it's just our willingness to say, you know what, I've 686 00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 1: never really, really consistently done the work, and I'm going 687 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,279 Speaker 1: to do it, and i know it won't be fun, 688 00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,800 Speaker 1: and I'm okay with that, and I'm sick and tired 689 00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:46,600 Speaker 1: of being that person who's I'm just done. I don't 690 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:48,719 Speaker 1: want to be that. And it's not about having some 691 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:54,719 Speaker 1: big cathartic breakthrough or moments or revelation from on Hey, brothers, sisters, 692 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,359 Speaker 1: But it's just about you know, going, yeah, I hear 693 00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:02,920 Speaker 1: your harps, I know what you're saying, you know, And 694 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:07,240 Speaker 1: if your next question is, yeah, but how do I well, 695 00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,880 Speaker 1: my question to you is why won't you, because you 696 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:15,319 Speaker 1: know how, how how you change your life is you 697 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,440 Speaker 1: get up tomorrow and you don't do the same thing 698 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,759 Speaker 1: that you did today. That's how. You don't eat the 699 00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:22,640 Speaker 1: way that you ate today. You don't move the way 700 00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:25,160 Speaker 1: that you ate today. You don't you don't talk, you 701 00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,719 Speaker 1: don't choose the way that you did today. If those 702 00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:32,120 Speaker 1: things are relevant for you, we literally just start doing 703 00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:38,200 Speaker 1: what is uncomfortable. That is generally step one. What's uncomfortable, Well, 704 00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,560 Speaker 1: what's uncomfortable is stopping these ten things that I need 705 00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:44,759 Speaker 1: to stop. Okay, stop or stop one and build on it, 706 00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,200 Speaker 1: stop two, build on it and build up to the 707 00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:50,480 Speaker 1: ten over time. Be honest, be brave, Be brutal with yourself, 708 00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:54,239 Speaker 1: not brutal in a destructive, brutal in a healthy way. Yeah, 709 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:56,600 Speaker 1: I am doing this. I am fucking up. It is me. 710 00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,040 Speaker 1: Sure I want to blame people, and sure I want 711 00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,200 Speaker 1: to go oh, but you don't stand my situation. I've 712 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,319 Speaker 1: got you know, I've got this work and this many 713 00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,319 Speaker 1: kids and this back issue and all those things. And 714 00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:07,520 Speaker 1: I get it, and I understand, and you have my sympathy. 715 00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:10,040 Speaker 1: But guess what, there are lots of people with kids. 716 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:11,839 Speaker 1: There are lots of people with jobs. There are lots 717 00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,319 Speaker 1: of people with shit genetics, there are lots of people 718 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:18,400 Speaker 1: in less than ideal situations. And while you have my compassion, 719 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:21,080 Speaker 1: that's probably not going to change in the next week 720 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:25,320 Speaker 1: or two. So what about wherever you are, however, Well, 721 00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:31,239 Speaker 1: you can do it with whatever you've got available to you, time, energy, resources, knowledge, anything. 722 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:35,600 Speaker 1: Just start, Just start and put that get out a 723 00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:41,839 Speaker 1: jail card, that safety net out of the picture. All right, team, 724 00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:44,120 Speaker 1: there you have it. That is the director's cut. That 725 00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:47,480 Speaker 1: is the slightly briefer version of ungive upable hope. There 726 00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,320 Speaker 1: were some good takeaways for you, love you, got to 727 00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:50,080 Speaker 1: see you next time.