1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,920 Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadigal Land Always was, always 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. 3 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 2: Hey Chicks, I'm sal and I'm out and this is 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 2: too Broake Chicks, a show that shares life lessons and 5 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,919 Speaker 2: tips to help make you rich in life. And welcome 6 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 2: back to the show, Bridget Hussway. 7 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,159 Speaker 3: We are so bad care me. 8 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 4: I'm so excited and this is my first time in 9 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 4: your steer today. 10 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 5: Welcome. 11 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 3: It's so big and legit and amazing. 12 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,839 Speaker 5: I'm so excited to be back as well. 13 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 1: The last time you're on the show, we were in 14 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 1: for a wild fucking ride. Well, but you just like 15 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: derailed the whole episode with one story. 16 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:50,480 Speaker 2: Literally, we got the most iconic breakup episode ever. 17 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 3: It was break up. 18 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 5: It was so good. Well not that you went through. 19 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 4: That, but but yeah, that was the first time that 20 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 4: I had really spoken about it. 21 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,120 Speaker 3: But I just kept on. 22 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 1: After we were like, so we're all getting drinks, right, 23 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: so rammed. It was like a pre game just here 24 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,319 Speaker 1: in that story. 25 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 3: And I was like, guys, I need a drink. 26 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 2: But we're glad to have you back on because we've 27 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 2: got you on. Obviously, we don't need an excuse to 28 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 2: have you on. But we want to chat about your 29 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 2: brand new book, Figuring Out Dirty second. 30 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 3: Book, second book of baby. 31 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 2: Oh my god, how are you feeling now that it's 32 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 2: out in the world. 33 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 5: It's been a few months now. 34 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, relieved, I think, and you guys would know it's 35 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 4: it's you almost have and I think you sail as 36 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 4: a big music fan to you have like a newfound 37 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 4: empathy for people who put out big, like bodies of work, 38 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 4: like I always think of artists and just being like song, 39 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 4: EP album like damn, because you are working on it 40 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 4: for so long. Yeah, and when you release it, it's 41 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 4: out of your control. And we were saying before even 42 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 4: during the process. For me especially, I like kind of 43 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 4: just blackout, like because it's so stressful for me. And 44 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 4: I don't find writing like easy. I enjoyed it in 45 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 4: high school and I was really good in my English classes. 46 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 4: But I guess, especially you know, in the last decade 47 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 4: of being like a music presenter and like, you know, 48 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:14,680 Speaker 4: communicating a verbal sense, I find putting my thoughts and 49 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 4: I guess the ADHD thing too, but like putting it 50 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 4: from pen to paper is really difficult, and especially when 51 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 4: it is a super personal body of work, there's like 52 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 4: that kind of emotional exhaustion too, So I'm really glad 53 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:35,000 Speaker 4: that it's out, yeah, and probably won't write for a 54 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,360 Speaker 4: long time, but happy to talk about it. 55 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly. 56 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 2: And I think as much as it can be really daunting, 57 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 2: especially with a book like this that is quite vulnerable, 58 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,880 Speaker 2: you're going to be helping so many people with it, 59 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 2: and I think so many people can relate to it, 60 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 2: which I'm excited to get into it and ask you 61 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 2: some more questions about it. But before we do, we 62 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 2: love to start with our life lesson of the week, 63 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 2: So would you like to kick us off? 64 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 1: Sure? 65 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,120 Speaker 4: This is one is an interesting one, and I I 66 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,359 Speaker 4: wish I was better at it early on, but it's 67 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 4: just I think I was on my emails a couple 68 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 4: of days ago and I've just been thinking about it 69 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 4: ever since, and I've been, I guess, trying to be 70 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,080 Speaker 4: really aware of it. And the life lesson would be 71 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 4: to how will I put it? I guess kind of 72 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 4: own own your voice and own your presence. So for me, 73 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 4: this is in the context of emails and being a freelancer, right, 74 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 4: And you guys would know too when you following things 75 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 4: up and you know you're chasing things like I am 76 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 4: very much a chaser with work. There's things that will 77 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 4: come to me. But if there's something that I want 78 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 4: to do, I will. 79 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 2: You know. 80 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 3: I love hitting up people and being annoying. 81 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, she's an aries. 82 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's proactive total. Yeah. 83 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,839 Speaker 4: In saying that, I do have a bit of insecurity 84 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 4: with it. I guess an imposter syndrome. But I think 85 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 4: that's a natural tendency for women, especially, you know, kind 86 00:03:56,400 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 4: of owning that presence, and we tend to minimize our 87 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 4: requests and you know, make ourselves smaller because that's how 88 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 4: we've always been kind of treated essentially. So I've just 89 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 4: been aware of, especially in my emails of you know, 90 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 4: it will always be like just checking in, just wondering 91 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 4: and so sorry to be, you know, a pest. 92 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 5: But or does that make sense? All good if not? 93 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 4: You know, And I think for me, I really just 94 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 4: need to be a bit more assertive. 95 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:29,039 Speaker 3: So I'm trying to embrace that a bit more. 96 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 4: And I haven't really yeah, thought about it as much 97 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,160 Speaker 4: as I have now been a freelancer, but yeah, I 98 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 4: guess a few days ago, so within the week I 99 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,239 Speaker 4: was on my emails and I've been just like shooting 100 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,960 Speaker 4: out a bunch of ships. There's just so much that 101 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 4: I want to get going, get the ball rolling for 102 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 4: in twenty twenty five, because I was saying to you 103 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 4: before off air, like it's been a bit of a 104 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,839 Speaker 4: slower start for me kind of getting into the rhythm 105 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 4: of work and especially being in wa where it's a 106 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 4: little bit more isolated in a creative sense. Yeah, I'm 107 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 4: just like out here chasing a bunch of shit. But 108 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, I just really got to be 109 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 4: a bit more like, you know, have a bit more 110 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 4: ownership over my voice and that kind of presence and 111 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 4: you know, if I mean, I'm allowed to have that. 112 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:19,360 Speaker 1: So yeah, but if you don't chase, you don't catch exactly. 113 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, no one's going to do it for you either, exactly. 114 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:26,720 Speaker 1: I love don't ask, don't get moment, like when you're 115 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,239 Speaker 1: sitting there being like, oh should I do this, Well, 116 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 1: you're not going to get it if you don't, and 117 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 1: by like and sometimes it's not even an ask it 118 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 1: to tell like it's been like cool, like let me 119 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:36,760 Speaker 1: know by the end of the day, that'd be great, 120 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: thank you. 121 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 3: By yeah, being like. 122 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 5: Could you like get back to me whenever. 123 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,480 Speaker 1: You can that's about no, tell me now right now? 124 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,839 Speaker 4: Yeah, and yeah, I think people think, you know, in 125 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 4: this kind of field that we find ourselves in professionally, 126 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 4: that you know, we get to do amazing things and 127 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 4: they just happen, but we actually chase so much of it. 128 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,160 Speaker 4: You know, there's so much behind the scenes where we 129 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 4: are actually putting ourselves out there, putting our hands up 130 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 4: and getting up in people's faces because we want to 131 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 4: make things happen. So yeah, I feel really uncomfortable with 132 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 4: sitting back and expecting things to come to me. I'm 133 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,600 Speaker 4: always very grateful when they do, but I can't rely 134 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,840 Speaker 4: on that, and I feel like. 135 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,479 Speaker 3: There's people who will you know, there's people that. 136 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 4: Will go out there and do the things, and then 137 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 4: there's other people who will sit back and watch them 138 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 4: do the things, and then they get annoyed and it's. 139 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:26,479 Speaker 3: Like, well, what do you expect? Yeah, you go do 140 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 3: the thing. 141 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you get the thing and you get the thing. 142 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, go do the thing. 143 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 1: Girl. My life lesson of the week is to go 144 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: visit your grandparents. Obviously if you can, if you live 145 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: in the same place, if they're still around, being mag bong, 146 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,679 Speaker 1: if you still have a relationship, but I haven't visited 147 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:47,479 Speaker 1: my nonna in so long. And on Valentine's Day, I 148 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: got a bit drunk and I messaged her and I 149 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 1: was like, have a Valentine's Say yeah, and she was 150 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: like and she always sayds like you know how like 151 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: our grandparents text. It's like the most eloquent response. 152 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 5: And she's like, Hello Alexandra, live of my life. 153 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 3: Wishing you the best, beautiful matader. 154 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:06,279 Speaker 1: And I was like to rub I was like, we 155 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: should go see my nona and he was like, all right, 156 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: let's go, but she lives on. 157 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 5: Her own now. 158 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 1: And I was like, don't worry, we'll come. We'll make lunch. 159 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 1: We literally packed the pasta maker. We're going to go 160 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 1: make her like homemade pasted out. We get there, she's 161 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: put on a whole fucking roast. 162 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 5: She was like, I just made a little something and 163 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 5: I was like, what what do you mean? 164 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: And then she's made this whole roast and I was like, 165 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 1: so why did I bring it? 166 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 5: It's just like. 167 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 3: Just just a little bit. 168 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my gosh, okay, and then 169 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: she goes, okay, well, let me know when you want 170 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: to go to your Ernie Rauders and uncle ladies and 171 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: I was like what. And so she's then wrangled me 172 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 1: into driving to her brothers, which was amazing and like 173 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: they're just the best and we're spending the whole day 174 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 1: with them. And then my nanna's brother pulls out a DVD. 175 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 5: And he's like, have you seen this? And it's mum 176 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 5: and Dad's wedding video and I haven't never ever seen it. 177 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 1: And so we sat around having like tea and coffee. 178 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 1: This was also when I learned that Italian, their Italian 179 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 1: version of coffee just has baileies in it. 180 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, milk, yeah. 181 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 1: And they were yelling at me because I was having 182 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: water and they're like, but that's going to rust your insides, 183 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 1: and I was like. 184 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 3: I have to drive. 185 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 1: And we watched my mom and dad's wedding video so 186 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 1: c it was just so I was crying. 187 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 5: Yeah, so beautiful and beautiful and like, oh my god, 188 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 5: I took photos. Oh my god, I want. 189 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 3: To say, can't believe you haven't seen it. 190 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 5: I hadn't seen it, and they kept being like, what 191 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 5: do you mean you haven't seen it? 192 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: And I was like they haven't tried me, wow, And yeah, 193 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: it was just the cutest thing. 194 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 5: Ever, so yeah, it was a good little day. 195 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 3: I love that. 196 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 1: It was so cute because, yeah, all my other grandparents 197 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:45,920 Speaker 1: have passed away. 198 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 5: So when we were watching a video, they were in 199 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,679 Speaker 5: the video, so like my nan and my pup and 200 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 5: my no no. I was just you need to have 201 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 5: like a wine night with your mom and watch it. 202 00:08:56,120 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 1: I know tea And I'm like, okay, so was pissing 203 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: you off? 204 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 3: Yeah? 205 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:02,959 Speaker 5: Where are that? 206 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:07,680 Speaker 2: Well? That's always the bts behind a wedding, exactly every time. 207 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 5: Okay, what's yours? My life lesson? 208 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,000 Speaker 2: I'll keep it short and sweet because it's not that deep. 209 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:16,719 Speaker 2: But did you know that if ninety nine percent of 210 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 2: the human population thought you were ugly, still around eighty 211 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 2: million people would think you were hot? 212 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's good. 213 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:26,679 Speaker 5: Yeah. 214 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 2: So even on your ugliest little day, which we all 215 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 2: have those days when we're not feeling like the hotties 216 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 2: that we truly are, eighty eighty million people eighty million 217 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 2: people would say smash. 218 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: Wow, that's like that stat that's like people say, it 219 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 1: was twenty percent hotter than you think you are. 220 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, oh that makes me feel good. 221 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, so even on your ugliest day, you're still twenty 222 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: percent hotter than you think you are. And then when 223 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 1: you are feeling yourself and you're like, yeah, I'm hitting 224 00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:02,359 Speaker 1: it today, You're. 225 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 5: It's a home fucking run. 226 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 3: That's like unstoppable. Yeah that's good. Yeah, I feel good 227 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 3: for eight million people. 228 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 5: Good time the episode. Yeah, let's do it, okay, Bridget. 229 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:21,440 Speaker 2: Can we talk about the expectations that come we're turning thirty? 230 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,560 Speaker 3: Oh boy, where do we start? I mean, well, did 231 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 3: you feel them? 232 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 1: Yeah? 233 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 3: I did a little bit. Yeah. 234 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 2: I would say for me, I think it's a little 235 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 2: bit different because I don't necessarily know if I ever 236 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 2: want to have children or get married, so I think 237 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 2: those are two of the big pressures. 238 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 5: But I did. 239 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 2: Feel like my worth as a woman in society was 240 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 2: being questioned. I just felt like, even after I turned 241 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 2: twenty five, the way that especially men who I knew, 242 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,640 Speaker 2: spoke to me or just spoke about different things around 243 00:10:56,640 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 2: me was significantly different after I turned twenty five, because 244 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 2: I did feel like people like say that people see 245 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 2: women who are over thirty as lesser. 246 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:11,319 Speaker 4: Than Yeah, I'm really fascinated by especially growing up when 247 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 4: we would have been exposed to it, but we weren't 248 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 4: probably thinking about it in a deep sense until we 249 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:21,680 Speaker 4: were twenty nine approaching thirty with how it's been captured 250 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 4: through pop culture. You know how we grow up when 251 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 4: we were watching Bridget Jones and that's just recently come out, 252 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 4: the new one. I've only just recently in the last 253 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 4: like twelve odd months. Don't judge me got into Friends 254 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 4: better late than ever. But you know, the episode with 255 00:11:34,559 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 4: Rachel crying about turning thirty, like it was just the 256 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 4: most horrific thing. I remember very vividly being eighteen and 257 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 4: Lily Allen singing, you know she's nearly thirty now and 258 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 4: she's out every night, sad, but it's true how society 259 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 4: says her life is already over. Like those things I remember, 260 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 4: you know, being so aware of growing up, but then 261 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 4: I guess kind of forgetting about them until I was 262 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 4: not only twenty nine, but I guess weeks before turning 263 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,080 Speaker 4: thirty when the big breakup happened, because for me and 264 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:08,560 Speaker 4: I think coming from a regional kind of upbringing where 265 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 4: and not that there's anything wrong with it, and also 266 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 4: even our parents the previous generations, like with the more 267 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 4: traditional markers, those milestones of buying a house, settling down 268 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 4: and having kids, when my mum was my age now 269 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,960 Speaker 4: thirty three, she had four kids under the age of four. 270 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 4: I could not think of doing that at all at 271 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,240 Speaker 4: this age, and that's what her reality was. So I 272 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 4: think those kind of traditional expectations, although they do feel 273 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 4: less applicable to our lives now because you know, cost 274 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 4: of living. Ill, we're working, yeah, so gross, you know, 275 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 4: women are working more, but yeah, we those I think 276 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 4: were the main kind of expectations. And you know, on 277 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 4: my podcast, I love asking people like expectation versus reality, 278 00:12:55,800 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 4: and I feel like I had these expectations in place, 279 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,400 Speaker 4: and then when this breakup happened, I was like, you know, 280 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 4: a bit of a mess because I was like, this 281 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 4: is not how I thought turning thirty would be for me. 282 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 4: But it didn't take too long to kind of unpack 283 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,599 Speaker 4: that and be like, oh, that's what I thought I 284 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 4: should have wanted, because that's what most people around me 285 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,120 Speaker 4: have done. So I just thought that's what I was 286 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 4: meant to do, But is it actually what I want 287 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 4: to do? 288 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 1: Yeah? 289 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 5: And meant versus want? Yeah? 290 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that because you did have quite 291 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,840 Speaker 2: a few of those things ticked off, you know, like 292 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,320 Speaker 2: you have a very successful career, you were in a 293 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:42,480 Speaker 2: long term relationship, you had some amazing milestones coming up. 294 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,840 Speaker 5: But I know that in that episode when. 295 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:47,120 Speaker 2: We spoke about the breakup, you did say that you 296 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 2: weren't necessarily happy in that relationship and that point in 297 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:53,360 Speaker 2: your life. Yeah, so maybe that helped with that realization too, 298 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 2: because it's like, oh, well, I had ticked all of 299 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 2: these things that I should have done by the time 300 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 2: I was turning thirty, but I wasn't necessarily the happiest 301 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 2: version of myself. 302 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, And it just seems to be that age where like, 303 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 4: I just can't think of an age previously. And I'm 304 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,440 Speaker 4: sure there will be more reflections moving forward, but thirty 305 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 4: does feel like that first kind of pit stop where 306 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,080 Speaker 4: you're like, let's have a look at everything that's happened 307 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 4: that's led me to this moment and what I want 308 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 4: moving forward, and how does it actually match up with 309 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,560 Speaker 4: what I thought that I wanted. And I think there's 310 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 4: an element even if it doesn't align with what you 311 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 4: want now and you are, you know, very comfortable and 312 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 4: content with what you want, I think there's still like 313 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 4: an element of grief about it too, because you always 314 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 4: kind of you know, I hate to think what if. 315 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 4: But I think we always do. We always have that 316 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 4: natural curiosity and intrigue about the many ways in which 317 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 4: our life could be looking. But yeah, I guess it 318 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 4: just takes a little bit of time. And it took 319 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 4: a bit of time for me, I guess to get 320 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 4: really comfortable with where I was at and to see 321 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 4: that as a new decade as like you know, starting fresh, 322 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 4: you know, blank canvas, we can have a reset, and 323 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 4: I I don't you know, I look back on that 324 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,600 Speaker 4: time very fondly because it was just like really big 325 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,800 Speaker 4: for the personal development. 326 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 3: But it's hard. 327 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 4: And I think even if you do have a successful career, 328 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 4: we are because we're told that we can have it all, 329 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 4: so you know, naturally you do want to have it all, 330 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 4: but then you kind of quickly realize that it's really 331 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 4: hard to balance things. You know, I want to have 332 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 4: a thriving career, but you know a lot of systemic 333 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 4: things kind of prevent me from having to have that 334 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 4: and then being able to maybe be the mum that 335 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 4: I want to be, you know, like women are in 336 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 4: the workplace, but we forgot to do anything to help 337 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 4: with you when you return to that kind of more 338 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,720 Speaker 4: domestic sphere, right, Like nothing's changed there where you know, 339 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 4: dads are getting more support with if they want to 340 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,560 Speaker 4: be a stay at home dad, Like we have seen 341 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 4: some you know that can be amazing stay home dads, 342 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,680 Speaker 4: but the expectations still remain that women can go work, 343 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 4: but they still have to come back and you know, 344 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 4: do all that labor. 345 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, domestic and emotional labor too. 346 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,320 Speaker 3: Yeah. 347 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 348 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 1: There's a quote in the book that I really love, 349 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 1: and you say, I can confidently and genuinely say that 350 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,800 Speaker 1: I've let go of what I believed my life should 351 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: be looking like right now. And I wanted to ask, 352 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 1: why do we see thirty as the deadline? 353 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's still I. 354 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,160 Speaker 4: Mean, I feel like I don't have like a concrete 355 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 4: answer for it. But again, I think it's just that 356 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 4: first age for me, at least, when you know you're 357 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 4: turning like sixteen, eighteen, twenty one, that's always really embraced 358 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 4: as an exciting milestone because we get more freedoms and 359 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 4: you know that in a sense, it's like those are 360 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 4: the really peak fun bits of being an adult. But 361 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:50,480 Speaker 4: for some reason, yeah, thirty we kind of see as Yeah, 362 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 4: that's when shit has to be serious and again pointing 363 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 4: to like our parents who were a lot more settled 364 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 4: at that age than I guess what a lot of 365 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 4: us are feeling at the moment, you know. And I 366 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,360 Speaker 4: obviously have a lot of friends who do have like 367 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,639 Speaker 4: kids and houses and all of that at this age, 368 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 4: who are happy with that. But there's never kind of 369 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 4: been that dialogue where it's like what if you don't 370 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 4: have that, and what if you don't want that? And 371 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 4: feeling like it's okay to not want that kind of 372 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 4: stuff too. Yeah, And I think again, with like that 373 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:28,480 Speaker 4: external commentary and language surrounding just generally women aging and 374 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,199 Speaker 4: being less desirable, you. 375 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,560 Speaker 1: Really don't see this narrative with men due no. 376 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 4: And I mean even when we like, I've been thinking 377 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,119 Speaker 4: a lot about like the beauty standards, and I really 378 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 4: loved writing like the chapter on body image, because yeah, 379 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 4: I was even like it's funny, like I've had like 380 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:49,920 Speaker 4: recent skincare like issues and it's been so annoying to navigate. 381 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 4: And I was thinking about like all the products that 382 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,439 Speaker 4: we use and all the things that we are sold, 383 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:58,479 Speaker 4: and men aren't like, you know, sold any of that. 384 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 4: And I love that stuff, but like when you kind 385 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,320 Speaker 4: of get to the core of it and how things 386 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 4: are marketed to us, and it's always to attain this 387 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 4: certain image and essentially to be more youthful and desirable, 388 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,880 Speaker 4: like guys just do not have that kind of pressure. 389 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,879 Speaker 1: We spoke about this in an episode where sal shared 390 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 1: her thirty life lessons she learned by thirty, and there 391 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 1: was this conversation that we had in it that was 392 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,640 Speaker 1: kind of like, you're damned if you do, You're damned 393 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:25,240 Speaker 1: if you don't. 394 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 5: You're damned if. 395 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: You like don't care and you don't look youthful and 396 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 1: then you've aged poorly in quotes like that is not 397 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,879 Speaker 1: me saying that that's the scenario. But then if you 398 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,280 Speaker 1: spend heaps of money and maybe you get botox or 399 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 1: you spend lots of money on the way that you look, 400 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 1: then you're vain and you care too much. And some 401 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,480 Speaker 1: it's like this damned if you do, damned if you 402 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 1: don't situation, and. 403 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:49,879 Speaker 5: It's so wild. 404 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 1: But we had a really popular question come through and 405 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 1: it kind of aligns with what you were saying before 406 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: as well, and it's how to be okay with being 407 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,680 Speaker 1: on different paths to your friends. Two of the main 408 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 1: ones that we saw come through was being the single 409 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 1: friend and also not wanting kids. 410 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,679 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's I mean those two a huge I remember 411 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:11,920 Speaker 4: during my single. 412 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 3: Era, I. 413 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 4: Like, I quickly found there was you know, a lot 414 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:24,199 Speaker 4: of conversations that would quickly go to me and it 415 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 4: was like a source of entertainment for some you know 416 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:29,120 Speaker 4: we have. 417 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 5: A friend who said the same thing. 418 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, or they'd be like, you know, you'll be fine, 419 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 4: like you'll find someone, and it's like, well, I'm pretty 420 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 4: content and comfortable with just having this moment to myself 421 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 4: and for however long it needs to be. And even 422 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 4: with the kids stuff, I think that also extends to 423 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 4: that kind of dialogue. And for me on that level, 424 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 4: I'd still like, I think I want a kid one day, 425 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,400 Speaker 4: but I'm not fucking ready now. 426 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, but they're still I don't know. 427 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,879 Speaker 4: I think we just what would make it easier, I 428 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:06,120 Speaker 4: guess is having more of the conversations, but just somehow 429 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 4: being able to normalize it a bit more, because I 430 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,720 Speaker 4: guess we haven't really been given that kind of frame 431 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 4: of reference as to how we can talk about these things, 432 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,119 Speaker 4: especially when now more and more people are opting out 433 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 4: of having kids and more and more people are so 434 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:22,119 Speaker 4: content with being single, and I have realized I don't 435 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 4: actually need a partner, you know, to be happy, Like 436 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,160 Speaker 4: that doesn't need to be my sole source of fulfillment. 437 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,960 Speaker 4: So and I think it also stems back to coming 438 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 4: back to your self value and really making sure that 439 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 4: you were comfortable with wherever you are at that moment, 440 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:45,640 Speaker 4: and like again, owning your choices too. But we've been 441 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,119 Speaker 4: brought up to think that those are you know, the 442 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:51,879 Speaker 4: things that we need to tick off. Like yeah, well 443 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,440 Speaker 4: you guys, I mean you wrote a whole fucking book 444 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,440 Speaker 4: about this, like and like when friends are on different levels, 445 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 4: like what was not to be the interviewer now, but 446 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 4: like your biggest takeaway from when you were kind of 447 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 4: you know, navigating that. 448 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,480 Speaker 1: I think the thing was that was one of the 449 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: biggest lessons from you know, the people we interviewed and 450 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:12,479 Speaker 1: discussed it with this and our own experiences, was especially 451 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 1: with being a single friend, like because you go to 452 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 1: things and a lot of people are couples, but remembering 453 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 1: that you're single because you didn't want something, like something 454 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,240 Speaker 1: didn't work for you, something wasn't right for you. And 455 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,400 Speaker 1: even though it's very very easy, like the comparison trap 456 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,119 Speaker 1: is called a trap for a reason. It's easy to 457 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,919 Speaker 1: fall into. That you have to remember what it is 458 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 1: that you wanted and that there's not a paintbrush that 459 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,639 Speaker 1: paints every single storyline the same way. 460 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 5: And it's just the way that my brain works. 461 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 1: And it's not to say that anyone's life is boring, 462 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,640 Speaker 1: but like, I love thinking about how individual lives are. 463 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 5: Like, I love that. 464 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,960 Speaker 1: Feeling of when you see all the lights turn on 465 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:54,359 Speaker 1: at like six pm non dolit saving the time, and 466 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 1: like how everyone's life is so so so different and 467 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,679 Speaker 1: how I want mine to be so individual to me. 468 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,280 Speaker 1: So why would I want my life to look like 469 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 1: anyone else's. 470 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,439 Speaker 4: Yeah, And I also think when it comes to celebrating 471 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 4: each other's wins as well, we really need to. 472 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,000 Speaker 3: Broaden what the win winds are. 473 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,400 Speaker 4: Ye, And like I have a great example that made 474 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 4: me feel really good. So Oscar plays footy for Fremantle 475 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 4: and we have a player's partners groups. It's just a 476 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,600 Speaker 4: little WhatsApp chat group for all the players partners sorry, 477 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 4: which is yeah, it's really nice. And often in those 478 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,959 Speaker 4: you know, group chats outside of the admin for the 479 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 4: matches and all that kind of stuff. You know, the 480 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 4: post will be in there if you know one of 481 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,720 Speaker 4: the partners has a baby or as engaged, and a 482 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,400 Speaker 4: few of them are, which is, you know, great. And 483 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,960 Speaker 4: I was really surprised to like open the chat one 484 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 4: day following the release of my book and one of 485 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,280 Speaker 4: the ladies who works at the club like made a 486 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,240 Speaker 4: really nice message being like a huge congrats to Bridget 487 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 4: for releasing her new book. We're all so proud of you, 488 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 4: and we know how hard you've worked and you have 489 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,399 Speaker 4: only known these people for just over a year. And 490 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 4: I was I didn't expect that to be. 491 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 3: In the group chat. 492 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 4: And that's not to you know, undermine or underestimate them, 493 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 4: but I was like, that's so nice, and to have 494 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:15,880 Speaker 4: that kind of achievement recognized in the same context as 495 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,959 Speaker 4: you know, other partners getting engaged and having babies, that 496 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 4: just really showed me that, Yeah, like I wish I 497 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,480 Speaker 4: guess more people got to experience that, but it's like 498 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 4: really not that it's not hard, but it just was 499 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,480 Speaker 4: awesome for me to be like, that's so cool and 500 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,359 Speaker 4: people messaging being like congrats Bridget, like that's awesome, and 501 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 4: they're all getting around me, and yeah, it was nice 502 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,440 Speaker 4: to feel that, you know, you can still be celebrated 503 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,840 Speaker 4: for the things, because that is a you know, and 504 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,840 Speaker 4: you guys are the same. To release a book like 505 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,439 Speaker 4: that is a huge achievement for us. And the only 506 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,800 Speaker 4: you know, it shouldn't be kids owning a house or 507 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,760 Speaker 4: getting married or engaged to be the only things that 508 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:58,240 Speaker 4: are worthy of celebrations, you know. So again, yeah, broadening 509 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,679 Speaker 4: our idea of what wins are and we're just making 510 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,879 Speaker 4: the effort to be aware of what winds are for 511 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 4: people because they are different. 512 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: For it, also knowing what your wins are for yourself, 513 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:12,000 Speaker 1: like writing those out and understanding what you find as 514 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,639 Speaker 1: a win and making sure that it can look different, 515 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,240 Speaker 1: and like giving yourself permission to celebrate those things. 516 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 5: You know what I love. 517 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 1: I love when women have divorce parties. 518 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 3: Oh yeah them first up. 519 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 4: And I think you need to be careful of you know, 520 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,120 Speaker 4: being like toxic positivity on it too, But I guess 521 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 4: from my experience, I just I just see it as 522 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 4: an opportunity and like without being cringe, like break up, breakthrough, 523 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,440 Speaker 4: you know, like it is just such an important time 524 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,040 Speaker 4: and you have so much that you can actually gain 525 00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:45,440 Speaker 4: from it. And I do wish more women were able 526 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 4: to see that, but again completely understand it's. 527 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:52,879 Speaker 1: A hindsight nine and it comes like at least six 528 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 1: months later and you're like, holy shit, yeah, but you'll 529 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 1: like be in a situation but this didn't have This 530 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,479 Speaker 1: wouldn't have happened unless that happened. Yeah, and you're like, ah, 531 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:06,960 Speaker 1: vibes slate, let's get into work. 532 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:07,800 Speaker 5: Yeah. 533 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,600 Speaker 2: This was another popular question that we had coming through 534 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,760 Speaker 2: and something that you speak about in the book and 535 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,760 Speaker 2: have spoken about quite a bit. So you also had 536 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 2: a huge career change around the time of your thirtieth 537 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,600 Speaker 2: birthday as well. Can you talk us through that and 538 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,760 Speaker 2: give some advice for people who are thinking of making 539 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,359 Speaker 2: a career switch in their thirties because it can be 540 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 2: really intimidating. 541 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:33,160 Speaker 3: Yeah. 542 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:39,399 Speaker 4: Well, I mean starting my thirties freshly dumped was big enough. 543 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,159 Speaker 4: But then when I turned thirty one, I was like, 544 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 4: let's you know, fuck things around a little bit more 545 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,640 Speaker 4: and quit my job that I've worked really hard on 546 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 4: and you know, making that grind. I think it was 547 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:55,600 Speaker 4: like six years of unpaid work to get up to 548 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,199 Speaker 4: that point to have a full time you know, national 549 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 4: radio show and a job that I deeply loved the 550 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,280 Speaker 4: program that I was hosting Good Nights, I you know, 551 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 4: oh still love it. 552 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,680 Speaker 3: I mean like they've asked it now. When I found 553 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 3: out that. 554 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,960 Speaker 4: They are, when they acted and I cried, I was like, 555 00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,879 Speaker 4: this is really heartbreaking for me because I just I, 556 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,760 Speaker 4: you know, the legacy of that program beyond my five 557 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 4: years hosting like Linda Mariano, who I icon't, yeah, icon't, 558 00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 4: and just you know, being someone who listened to that 559 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,760 Speaker 4: program as a music fan and a listener before Triple 560 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 4: J and then being able to host it. But yeah, 561 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:35,879 Speaker 4: I just was you know at that point where I, 562 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:40,439 Speaker 4: as much as I loved that program, the developments for 563 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,960 Speaker 4: me at the station was it just wasn't happening. And 564 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:50,359 Speaker 4: I really saw, you know, I felt it's funny. 565 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 3: I felt like externally valued. 566 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,399 Speaker 4: Not to say that I felt completely not valued there, 567 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 4: but I felt very over looked as a music presenter, 568 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:08,159 Speaker 4: and I resented the programming hierarchy and you know, Brecky 569 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 4: and Drive getting all the interviews just because they have 570 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:16,240 Speaker 4: those slots. It was never about who was who would 571 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,840 Speaker 4: be the best presenter to interview that person. I think 572 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,359 Speaker 4: it has changed now since I left, and I'm not 573 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:23,720 Speaker 4: taking you know. 574 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:24,720 Speaker 3: Credit for that. 575 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,520 Speaker 4: But I did like request like an exit interview when 576 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,959 Speaker 4: I quit, because I had so much feedback that I 577 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:33,880 Speaker 4: wanted to tell management because I already knew some other 578 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 4: presenters who were, you know, a little bit fresher than 579 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,440 Speaker 4: me already was starting to feel that and feeling a 580 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,639 Speaker 4: little bit defeated, and I just wanted things to change 581 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,879 Speaker 4: for them because I, you know, I love seeing people 582 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 4: who were so passionate about music, and I mean everyone 583 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 4: who works there loves music. 584 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 3: But anyway, I just felt like I couldn't see where. 585 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 5: I was going next. 586 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,680 Speaker 4: I did, you know, want to actually get into programming 587 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,520 Speaker 4: at some point, but that kind of yeah, it was 588 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,840 Speaker 4: not embraced. 589 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:03,000 Speaker 3: I suppose. 590 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:09,359 Speaker 4: And so I had a contract negotiation and unfortunately it 591 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,680 Speaker 4: was shit, and it was just like a tipping point 592 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 4: for me, and I was like, I quit. I never 593 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,640 Speaker 4: thought that that would be. I actually thought I'd stay 594 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:22,440 Speaker 4: on for one more year, but and I was going 595 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,439 Speaker 4: to nothing as well. I think it's, yeah, it's a 596 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:28,480 Speaker 4: very unique situation when you leave your job for nothing. 597 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,920 Speaker 1: I don't think it's that unique though, in terms of like, yes, 598 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,120 Speaker 1: it's a very very big, daunting thing, but I think 599 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,959 Speaker 1: it's something that we're seeing and we get messages so 600 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:43,000 Speaker 1: much now because that's part of what is really scary 601 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,680 Speaker 1: for people is it's they're in this job, they're in 602 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: this career, and whether it's the industry that they're in, 603 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:54,280 Speaker 1: or whether it's that specific role within that company that 604 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 1: they just don't. 605 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,000 Speaker 5: Want to do it anymore. 606 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 1: But they've invested all of this time, and it's like, 607 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 1: but I don't, like, I just want to get out, 608 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 1: and like they've kind of made that decision, but they 609 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 1: don't know one what they want to do next, or 610 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 1: they don't have anything lined up, So like, how do 611 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: you find the confidence to just say like no more? Yeah. 612 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,280 Speaker 4: Again, it's different for everyone and dependent on your field. 613 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:22,560 Speaker 4: But I guess what what I love about that is 614 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,880 Speaker 4: people are obviously valuing their happiness and fulfillment more than 615 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:29,400 Speaker 4: ever in a career context, and you can really link 616 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,320 Speaker 4: it back to relationships and like not settling with that 617 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 4: obviously comes a lot of privilege. 618 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:34,680 Speaker 3: There are people who. 619 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 4: Just simply have to stay in these jobs that they 620 00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,640 Speaker 4: hate to survive. So I had a lot of privilege 621 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 4: and that I knew that I could make it work, 622 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 4: but I hadn't really spent It's not like I planned it, 623 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,600 Speaker 4: you know. It was actually really an impulsive thing. I 624 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 4: didn't expect to quit, but I was so fucked off 625 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,959 Speaker 4: that I was like nah. And then I remember telling 626 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,240 Speaker 4: my mum and she was like, do what makes you happy? 627 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,680 Speaker 4: I spoke to Oscar, and being the legit cook king 628 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,360 Speaker 4: that he is, was like, you know, obviously support you, 629 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,640 Speaker 4: but just did maybe just like book in with your 630 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 4: accountant first and just you know, make sure you know clever, 631 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 4: not you know, a completely silly thing to do. Unfortunately, 632 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,840 Speaker 4: my accountant was like, yeah, I thought you'd be doing 633 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,640 Speaker 4: this six months ago, like, you know, thankfully for me 634 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 4: and in you know, the field that like I'm in, 635 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 4: I guess, and I already had how to end. 636 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 2: Oh. 637 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 4: And I kind of made that effort to have an 638 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 4: identity outside of Triple J. And I think, you know, 639 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 4: for any kind of job that's really important, it's hard 640 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 4: because we do spend so much time working, especially if 641 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,320 Speaker 4: we do love it, you know, and we're proud of it. 642 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:41,520 Speaker 3: You know. 643 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,680 Speaker 4: I was very proud to work there, but I also 644 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 4: knew there would be limitations post Triple J, and I 645 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 4: was kind of just getting to that stage there, and 646 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,920 Speaker 4: I guess that age where I wanted to start thinking 647 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,160 Speaker 4: about the next steps, but again, probably would have loved 648 00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:58,880 Speaker 4: a little bit more time to kind of think it out. 649 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,400 Speaker 4: But yeah, I just, you know, went out into freelancing 650 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,880 Speaker 4: and just I guess made it work because I had 651 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:05,840 Speaker 4: no choice but to make it work. And that's why 652 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,760 Speaker 4: I have to be a real chaser with. 653 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,200 Speaker 3: Us, you know us yea rent. 654 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:15,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it is like a survival thing too, Yeah, 655 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:20,080 Speaker 4: very much so. But I totally empathize with all the 656 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 4: things that people kind of grapple with because when you 657 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,360 Speaker 4: do spend so much time getting to that point, whether 658 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,000 Speaker 4: it's you know, doing a four year Uni degree, being 659 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 4: like thousands of dollars in hexstead or for me, you know, 660 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,520 Speaker 4: doing that six odd year grind. I mean I've been 661 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,640 Speaker 4: music presenting a music presenter for over a decade now, 662 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:39,760 Speaker 4: but you do tend to look back at everything that 663 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,280 Speaker 4: you've invested into that and you don't want to feel 664 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,360 Speaker 4: like you've wasted. 665 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,120 Speaker 3: Time or regretted it. 666 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 4: And I don't, you know, like because it's opened so 667 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:48,920 Speaker 4: many other doors. 668 00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 3: But it's scary, but. 669 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,520 Speaker 4: I just want people to know that it's never too late. 670 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,760 Speaker 4: You know, it's never too late to switch lanes, to 671 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:01,080 Speaker 4: try something new. I met a girl recently who's the 672 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,920 Speaker 4: partner of a friend who used to work at Triple 673 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 4: J actually, and she was a journalist and you know, 674 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,040 Speaker 4: she did that big grind, but now she's studying to 675 00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 4: be a primary school teacher. 676 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:13,160 Speaker 5: I love that. 677 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,560 Speaker 4: She was like, you know what, I You know, this 678 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,600 Speaker 4: has been the dream job in many aspects, but I 679 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:24,320 Speaker 4: am exhausted and I think that I could really add 680 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,720 Speaker 4: value in that field. So she's moved from Sydney to 681 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 4: Perth and she's back at UNI and she's so. 682 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,560 Speaker 3: Excited and she's gonna be a great teacher. But you know, 683 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 3: it's never too late. 684 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:35,480 Speaker 1: To do that stuff. 685 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 2: In your book, you actually share a list of famous 686 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:41,640 Speaker 2: people who started their careers after turning thirty. 687 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 5: Can you share that with us. You're a bit of 688 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:44,960 Speaker 5: inspiration for the jigs. 689 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,320 Speaker 4: Let's go through the list. Let me pull her up. 690 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,920 Speaker 4: There is quite a few examples, and they're wonderful. So 691 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 4: famous women who made their career after thirty. Oprah Winfrey 692 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 4: launched the Oprah Winfrey Show at age thirty two. 693 00:32:59,040 --> 00:32:59,480 Speaker 1: Wow. 694 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,400 Speaker 3: I launched it last year. Crazy Kristin wig. 695 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,360 Speaker 4: We've just had the SNL fifty celebrations, which means so fun. 696 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,600 Speaker 4: I love Saturday Night Live. She debuted on the show 697 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 4: at thirty six. 698 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,320 Speaker 3: No way, yep, pretty cool. 699 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 4: Debbie Harry ak Blondie, I'm sure you love my girl 700 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,040 Speaker 4: launched that project at thirty. 701 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 5: One and a style icon music park on to this day. 702 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:26,120 Speaker 3: The rest is history. 703 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,440 Speaker 4: I love this about in the world of like fashion, 704 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 4: Vera Wang. Okay, so before that she was a fashion designer, 705 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,760 Speaker 4: she was an ice skater and a journalist. But she 706 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,520 Speaker 4: designed her first dress at the age of forty. That 707 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:47,120 Speaker 4: is incredible, amazing, so cool and Vivian Westwood. So she 708 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:51,760 Speaker 4: quit teaching at thirty to pursue fashion designs. So went 709 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,920 Speaker 4: and studied that Jane Austin. I didn't actually know this 710 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,000 Speaker 4: so first novel Sense and Sensibility. Guess how old she 711 00:33:59,040 --> 00:33:59,880 Speaker 4: was when it came out? 712 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 3: Thirty eight thirty six close? Yeah, yeah, but I think. 713 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:08,000 Speaker 4: That I thought she would have been like twenty one, 714 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 4: really young. I don't know why, but I just was 715 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:11,800 Speaker 4: really surprised to hear. 716 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,360 Speaker 5: So imagine that being her debut. 717 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:15,879 Speaker 1: She's kind of hot. 718 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:16,840 Speaker 5: Hit it out of the past. 719 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:21,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, there's definitely this notion, especially with social 720 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:25,759 Speaker 1: media and TikTok stars, and not to take away from them, 721 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:30,120 Speaker 1: but we see a lot of young celebrities now that 722 00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:33,120 Speaker 1: I think when we're older and we're like, oh, fuck, 723 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,040 Speaker 1: like I didn't do that, I should have done this, 724 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:36,840 Speaker 1: I should have done that, and set myself up for 725 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,200 Speaker 1: all these things that when you see a list like that, 726 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 1: you're like, it really does kind of like wipe the 727 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,320 Speaker 1: slate clean in your brain, being like, yeah, I can. 728 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,440 Speaker 4: Yeah change And I love there's two more recent examples 729 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,160 Speaker 4: that I really love and beyond the fact that they're 730 00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:53,960 Speaker 4: both in the music world. But Amy Shark she released 731 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,960 Speaker 4: a Door, which is you know, her breakthrough single was 732 00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:00,600 Speaker 4: absolutely massive. She was thirty when that came and it 733 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,680 Speaker 4: was dubbed her breakthrough. She was actually you know, the 734 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,880 Speaker 4: commentary around her was like overnight success, but she was 735 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 4: grinding for like ten years before that. You know, about 736 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,480 Speaker 4: the year before that song came out, she emailed dom Alessio, 737 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,440 Speaker 4: who used to host Home and host on Triple J, 738 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:18,520 Speaker 4: and she was like, what am I doing wrong? You know, 739 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:22,040 Speaker 4: like none of my songs are getting airplay? And then 740 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,279 Speaker 4: Odoor was the next single and it just you know, 741 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:30,000 Speaker 4: skyrocketed her. Ye, Charlie XCX, I think is a great example. 742 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:30,920 Speaker 5: Finally getting her flowers. 743 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,680 Speaker 4: Yes, she's thirty two, and you know she's we've known 744 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:35,680 Speaker 4: her for a while, like she's been on you know, 745 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,319 Speaker 4: some main she's kind of flirted in the mainstream. 746 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 1: You know. 747 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:47,280 Speaker 4: I love it Boom boom clap fancy with Iggy's eliaeteen. 748 00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:47,600 Speaker 5: Ninety nine and like all the Collapse with Troy. 749 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:53,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, but Brat is her most commercially successful record. It's 750 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:57,200 Speaker 4: the record that's won her her first Grammys, and now 751 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,440 Speaker 4: she's headlining festivals and she's thirty who you know, I. 752 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,640 Speaker 1: Just looked it up then. And Rebecca Yaros, who wrote 753 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:09,560 Speaker 1: Fourth Wing, which is like the best selling fantasy. 754 00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:09,959 Speaker 5: Series of the year. 755 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:11,920 Speaker 1: If not, I would put it up there with books 756 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,040 Speaker 1: this year is forty three. 757 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:16,359 Speaker 3: Wow. And that came out in twenty twenty three. 758 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:16,719 Speaker 2: Wo. 759 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:21,360 Speaker 1: So yeah, women can have so much success. Yeah, after 760 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,800 Speaker 1: the age of thirty forty fifty. 761 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I love that. 762 00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,480 Speaker 1: I want to kick a door off its hinges. 763 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 5: Yeah, your life doesn't end at thirty. 764 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,280 Speaker 3: It's really only justly. 765 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:32,759 Speaker 5: There's also this quote. 766 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:35,400 Speaker 1: And it was like, why do you think adulthood and 767 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,160 Speaker 1: fun ends at thirty when that was your first decade 768 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,640 Speaker 1: of being an adult. Yeah, and when money only had 769 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,759 Speaker 1: you only You've only had one decade of being an 770 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:44,880 Speaker 1: adult and you're done. 771 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,480 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, I don't know. 772 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,560 Speaker 4: And how how because you still have so much to experience, 773 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:54,360 Speaker 4: which travel or you know, gaining those new skills of 774 00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 4: being exposed to a particular field, Like I just don't Yeah, 775 00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,640 Speaker 4: it's crazy that we've like we've just had to, you know, 776 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:06,800 Speaker 4: have it sorted and locked in by by thirty, all. 777 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,319 Speaker 1: That you don't have time to experience other things. Because 778 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,920 Speaker 1: a very common thing we got sent in of was 779 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 1: feeling like I wasted my twenties. We would you say 780 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,799 Speaker 1: to someone that felt like they wasted their twenties by 781 00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:18,680 Speaker 1: not doing enough? 782 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:23,200 Speaker 4: I mean, look, I don't want to say no regrets. 783 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,399 Speaker 4: I just think everything's a lesson though, Like I would 784 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:30,040 Speaker 4: never look back on my twenties and think I should 785 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:34,040 Speaker 4: have done more. I think and I also am able 786 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,799 Speaker 4: to kind of give myself I guess that compassion and 787 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,240 Speaker 4: be like, well that's how I was feeling at the time. 788 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,239 Speaker 4: I can't change that. And yeah, I've never kind of 789 00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:45,920 Speaker 4: looked back on my twenties and felt like I should 790 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,759 Speaker 4: have done something differently, or that I wasted time. I 791 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,239 Speaker 4: think everything always will lead you. Everything's led you to 792 00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:55,240 Speaker 4: where you are now, and we're in pretty good positions. 793 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:56,000 Speaker 3: I agree. 794 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:59,080 Speaker 1: I also think if you felt like you should have 795 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,800 Speaker 1: done things in your twenties that you haven't done yet, 796 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:05,120 Speaker 1: maybe your twenties was about building the confidence and the 797 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,320 Speaker 1: life experience to approach those things. 798 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:07,839 Speaker 5: That you want to do. 799 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:11,120 Speaker 1: But I want to ask you a quick fire round 800 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,279 Speaker 1: of dating and your thirties. I know we've touched on 801 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:18,000 Speaker 1: it a little bit, yep, Okay, what are your thoughts 802 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,960 Speaker 1: on age gaps and dating younger in your thirties? 803 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,719 Speaker 3: So fine, Oscar's five years younger? I think it. 804 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, is really just a number, and I think there's 805 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:29,840 Speaker 4: a lot to be gained in terms of what you 806 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:31,399 Speaker 4: can learn from them as well. 807 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,239 Speaker 3: So I'm so here for it. 808 00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:33,960 Speaker 5: I love that. 809 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:34,279 Speaker 3: Yeah. 810 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:37,920 Speaker 1: Okay, super popular question. What are your top three tips 811 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:39,680 Speaker 1: on being single in your thirties? 812 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,160 Speaker 4: Okay, Well, the first one that comes to mind was 813 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:45,000 Speaker 4: one that I felt quite deeply was don't feel pressured 814 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,600 Speaker 4: to When we say be single, we do tend to 815 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:51,040 Speaker 4: visualize that we're going out all the time that we're 816 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,520 Speaker 4: building our roster and. 817 00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:53,600 Speaker 5: That way Samantha Jones. 818 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, and honestly, I love her And if you want 819 00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:01,600 Speaker 4: to do that, fine, But also some people don't want 820 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,960 Speaker 4: to or feel comfortable. And I thought that I would 821 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,520 Speaker 4: be going on a fucking spray when I was single, 822 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:11,440 Speaker 4: but then I just realized I don't feel ready or comfortable, 823 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:15,120 Speaker 4: and that's okay. Like, just because you were single doesn't 824 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,359 Speaker 4: mean you have to go and do those things. You know, 825 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,000 Speaker 4: and even if you want to go out and have 826 00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,920 Speaker 4: fun and you do want to find someone but you don't, like, 827 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,680 Speaker 4: don't beat yourself up about it. There is no one 828 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,359 Speaker 4: textbook way to be single, just like there's no one 829 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,239 Speaker 4: textbook way to be in a relationship, and you just 830 00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 4: have to really tap into, you know, your instinct and 831 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,480 Speaker 4: how you're feeling, and it may not be feeling the 832 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:40,480 Speaker 4: way that you thought you'd be feeling. Like like I said, 833 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,120 Speaker 4: I thought that I would be going out doing all 834 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:45,000 Speaker 4: those things, but then I was like, nah, I just 835 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:45,600 Speaker 4: don't want to. 836 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,400 Speaker 3: But I think people expected that of me. But I 837 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:49,960 Speaker 3: was fine. 838 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,040 Speaker 4: I was on the apps, but I kind of treated 839 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:54,840 Speaker 4: a lot of the conversations just as little steps for 840 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,080 Speaker 4: personal development because I just felt like I had to 841 00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,560 Speaker 4: unpack a lot of shit. So don't feel pressured to 842 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:07,960 Speaker 4: like go back someone. 843 00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,440 Speaker 3: Want to bang away? 844 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:11,280 Speaker 2: You know? Okay, And you interviewed a neuropsychologist, doctor Hannah Coral, 845 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:15,120 Speaker 2: who likens friendships to a solar system. Can you give 846 00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:17,319 Speaker 2: us a quick run through about what this means and 847 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:19,280 Speaker 2: how it can affect friendships as an adult. 848 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,840 Speaker 4: I love when she said it because it's so easy 849 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,880 Speaker 4: to visualize, right, these cute little planets just in orbit, 850 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,600 Speaker 4: And essentially it is just acknowledging that sometimes you may 851 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:32,759 Speaker 4: not be in orbit with another friend and that's not 852 00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:38,040 Speaker 4: always a bad thing. I think, Look, it's each situation 853 00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:40,880 Speaker 4: is different. But I found that I had a lot 854 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,400 Speaker 4: of peace kind of when she when she said that 855 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,560 Speaker 4: just knowing that although you may not be in orbit 856 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:50,359 Speaker 4: doesn't mean you have to be like angry at each 857 00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,480 Speaker 4: other or but you don't have to have you know, 858 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:55,200 Speaker 4: it's not it doesn't have to be a bad thing, right, 859 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,319 Speaker 4: So you can be happy for them if they're you know, 860 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,040 Speaker 4: doing their own thing and you're doing your own thing, 861 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,720 Speaker 4: and you might come back in orbit at another point 862 00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,759 Speaker 4: in life. But yeah, I just think that was a 863 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,160 Speaker 4: really nice way of kind of framing it. 864 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,200 Speaker 3: Can you like see it? Yes, Yeah, and it makes sense. 865 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,640 Speaker 1: It's why you know, I think in the book we 866 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,480 Speaker 1: called it track changes, and it's when you, you know, 867 00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:21,440 Speaker 1: have your high school friends, you're in orbit. Then you 868 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,440 Speaker 1: get a job and you're working full time with people, 869 00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:24,839 Speaker 1: and then you kind of spend a little bit more 870 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,160 Speaker 1: time with them, and then that's your orbital. Maybe you 871 00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:30,200 Speaker 1: move to a different country and like maybe it's a 872 00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,880 Speaker 1: bit of a slower orbit, like with some friends that 873 00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,280 Speaker 1: you talk maybe once a month on the phone. 874 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,200 Speaker 5: But I like it because I can visualize it too. 875 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:41,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I do think like it's always relevant, I think, 876 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,759 Speaker 2: no matter what stage of your life you're in, but. 877 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:45,520 Speaker 5: Especially in your thirties. 878 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:46,000 Speaker 3: Oh yeah. 879 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:49,640 Speaker 2: As more people are getting married, having children, perhaps regressing 880 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:53,560 Speaker 2: in their career, moving away, these separate orbits are happening 881 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:57,840 Speaker 2: more and more, I feel, And it's becoming secure within 882 00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:02,080 Speaker 2: that in yourself. Yes, knowing that friendships do ebb and 883 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:04,560 Speaker 2: flow and that they will exist in different orbits, but 884 00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,960 Speaker 2: that doesn't discount what they meant to you or what 885 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,920 Speaker 2: they will mean to you going forward. We have to 886 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:12,919 Speaker 2: finish off with our final question, what's your biggest life 887 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,719 Speaker 2: lesson in your thirties so far? 888 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,640 Speaker 4: Oh Man, I think it is, you know, and it's 889 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,799 Speaker 4: probably in relation to that as well, and what you 890 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:24,320 Speaker 4: said al about that kind of secure place of understanding, 891 00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:29,239 Speaker 4: just understanding that we are all navigating shit and we 892 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,319 Speaker 4: definitely just need to go a little bit easy on 893 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:36,920 Speaker 4: ourselves and yet within our relationships too, because we are 894 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,880 Speaker 4: all really just trying to figure it out. And so 895 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:44,120 Speaker 4: that's probably been the best thing is to make peace 896 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,120 Speaker 4: with that. And I think as well, one of the 897 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:51,520 Speaker 4: biggest life lessons was just taking time to figure out 898 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:54,880 Speaker 4: my values and actually what I, you know, value moving 899 00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:58,719 Speaker 4: forward and what that looks like in feeling a bit 900 00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:02,000 Speaker 4: more fulfilled and content. And I did that session with 901 00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:05,120 Speaker 4: my psychologist. She spread out like eighty fucking cards on 902 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:05,479 Speaker 4: the floor. 903 00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,480 Speaker 3: It was really fun. It was like a game, but 904 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:08,359 Speaker 3: then it got really hard. 905 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:12,640 Speaker 4: So we kind of put values in different sections like important, 906 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,560 Speaker 4: not important, important, really important, And the only two that 907 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,960 Speaker 4: I could remember in the really important, which was out 908 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:21,839 Speaker 4: of ten, I think from the eighty four, the two 909 00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:25,160 Speaker 4: that I will always remember is just fun and inner piece, 910 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,440 Speaker 4: and those just the two things that I want to 911 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,600 Speaker 4: keep front of mind with like everything that I do, 912 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,000 Speaker 4: and sometimes I won't be good at it, but I think. 913 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,200 Speaker 1: It's just north Star. 914 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:38,839 Speaker 4: Yeah, just you know, coming to know that, and yeah, 915 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:42,200 Speaker 4: I think that's been a really nice lesson and realization 916 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:43,280 Speaker 4: in my thirties. 917 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:43,800 Speaker 1: I loved it. 918 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:45,319 Speaker 3: Never too late. 919 00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:48,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you so much for coming on the show again. 920 00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:51,680 Speaker 2: Bridget has been an absolute pleasure. But for the chickies 921 00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:53,680 Speaker 2: who don't already know where can I find you? 922 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:57,960 Speaker 4: I'm on Instagram at Bridge pas to eight and yeah, 923 00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,040 Speaker 4: I'm just kind of working there. 924 00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:00,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, and go by Bridget the book. 925 00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:02,799 Speaker 3: In the book that you guys kindly endorsed, thank you 926 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:03,600 Speaker 3: for reading it early. 927 00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:06,080 Speaker 5: Of course, of course I was. Honestly I was like 928 00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:07,320 Speaker 5: vip accent. 929 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,239 Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much for coming on, and thank 930 00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:14,920 Speaker 2: you to m ik Made for making today's episode happen, 931 00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:17,720 Speaker 2: and to your chicks for having us in ear holes. 932 00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:26,800 Speaker 5: We love to be here. Kisses, bye chick Bye. By