WEBVTT - What Sam Learned From A Toxic Relationship (Part 2) 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.800 Welcome back to the occasionally funny podcast. You're here with Sam. 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:05.200 And Josh, and we are. 0:00:08.880 --> 0:00:11.480 For part two because Sam's got a big update for everyone. 0:00:11.840 --> 0:00:13.640 Yes, there's an update. 0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:17.439 The reason we've split this is because, as usual part one, 0:00:18.160 --> 0:00:20.840 I dragged out too long with my own yeah sad stories, 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:26.239 but I was again no. But I hope people gain 0:00:26.360 --> 0:00:29.560 something from that, because I feel like everyone has had 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:33.040 moments or relationships like that, where and even when that 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:34.760 guy I told you text me and called me the 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:37.760 other day and I just ignored it. Six months ago, 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:39.280 I would have been like, oh my god and jumped 0:00:39.280 --> 0:00:41.279 at that yeah and be like, oh, maybe we get 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:43.680 back together, and like it's like, but this person sucked 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:46.800 me around so much. Yeah, And I just feel like 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:49.280 everyone's been through that so often you just need to 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:54.960 stop and go yeah, actually, And then you said, like 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:57.520 me telling those stories, you've got your own versions. 0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:59.440 Of oh yeah, how I found my worth? And I 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:02.080 think I illiy and I've had so many conversations where 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:05.360 things have come up in our relationship, which I guess 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:09.280 in our past relationships could have caused an issue, but 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:12.240 both of us have just been able to handle it 0:01:12.240 --> 0:01:14.720 in a way that no one's feelings were hurt, no 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:17.280 one was defensive, and we just had open conversations about 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:21.000 these like situations that have come up. And like an 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:23.759 example that everybody sortady already knows about is like when 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:26.399 we started this podcast, everybody in the comments were saying 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:28.759 that me and you were going to be the perfect 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:31.120 couple and we should get together, and like Illi and 0:01:31.200 --> 0:01:33.360 I had just started dating at that point, so like 0:01:33.720 --> 0:01:36.120 Ilio came to me, well, I said to him like, look, 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:37.160 we're doing this podcast. 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:37.720 This is it. 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:40.160 We're not flirting, it's just we have chemistry and we're 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:42.280 doing the show. And he was able to like just 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:45.320 articulate like, look, I don't like reading the comments. It's 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:47.600 not the nicest thing ever, but I trust you and 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:52.080 I know that it's gotten. There isn't anything there. But 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:54.000 I like how like open and honesty was about it, 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:55.400 because it could have been like it doesn't bother me 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:57.480 and just lie and that could have caused an issue 0:01:57.480 --> 0:01:59.040 down the line, but instead we were able to talk 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:02.480 about what was actually worrying him and what wasn't and 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:03.480 move forward through it. 0:02:04.920 --> 0:02:06.120 But yeah, I think. 0:02:06.240 --> 0:02:08.440 That's the way that's so much of him actually, because 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:11.920 so many people, we're jealous, and like, I know it 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:14.760 is the best this industry, and how like people comment 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:16.880 things online and I get it. You just said it 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:19.519 before you'd come off a show. People knew how was single. 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:22.720 We get along, so it's it's it just feels obvious 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:25.200 that most people would just go yeh from the snippet 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:27.680 I've heard of that chart video, they'd be great together. 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:29.960 Yeah. 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:34.200 But I realized also, I think being with Ilia that 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:36.680 I don't think I've actually ever been in love before. 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:42.320 Oh shit, And I say that for a bitter dramatic effect. 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:45.880 I think I've been in once before, so you just 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:49.880 lie down. Yeah, But I mean I thought I'd been 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:56.720 in love maybe like five times, four times, but I 0:02:56.800 --> 0:03:00.880 realized that only one of them in the past is 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:03.040 was what I think was true love, that I actually 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:07.079 was like feeling secure in the relationship and was genuinely 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:10.280 in love with that person. Every other relationship where I 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:12.840 thought I was in love, I've just been incredibly anxious 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:15.639 and like my fight or flight, those feelings have made 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:18.080 me feel like I am in love with this person, 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:21.000 But really I was just being treated poorly in a 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:23.840 lot of situations, or like I wasn't like in the 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:25.959 right head space to be in a relationship with that person, 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:29.280 and that unsteadiness is what I was actually attracted to. 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:33.920 Wasn't the actual relationship, but in terms of like finding 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:40.840 my worth and also realizing that I'm in love with Ilia. 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:45.360 Which was that Illi and I shared yesterday. 0:03:45.520 --> 0:03:46.480 Who said it first? 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:50.920 I said it first. Were nervous before, Well, I've known 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:54.440 for like a month or so, Okay, he signed it 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:57.040 for a long time. Yeah, well, and I'm definitely I 0:03:57.160 --> 0:03:59.560 sat on it. I was just like I didn't want 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:02.400 to just like, you know, it's not a proposal. I'm 0:04:02.400 --> 0:04:03.680 not going to sit him. Number I have something to 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:05.320 say to you. It was just like I wanted it 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:07.520 to come naturally, and there was moments where it almost 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:09.520 came out and it just didn't. And I took that 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:11.720 as a sign like, well, then you're not completely ready 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:12.560 to like share it. 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:15.360 Yet, as in you're not one percent maybe nineteen. 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:20.320 But like yeah, and then last night, which by the 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.120 time this episode comes out, maybe we'll be a week 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:26.880 ago or so, I just said. I was just brushing 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:30.960 my teeth, I know, and for some reason, the perfect 0:04:31.000 --> 0:04:35.839 moment was with my tooth brushure in my mouth, he 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:39.799 said something like, oh god, I'm going to I've forgotten 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:42.640 exactly how it went, but he said something and I 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:45.480 was like, oh, no, I don't like you. 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:46.520 I love you. 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:48.719 And then here because because I had a toothbrush in 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:52.440 my mouth, it was more like oh, He's like did 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:54.200 you did you just say? And then I said it 0:04:54.200 --> 0:04:56.280 again with my toothbrushure still in my mouth, but I 0:04:56.320 --> 0:05:00.160 love you and he's like wow, He's like, yeah, all 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.719 of you too, and yeah, it was great. 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:03.679 It's a great little moment. 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:04.640 That's cute. 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:05.520 It was cute. 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:07.920 Was there any part of her worried He's not going 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:09.680 to say it back? And he goes and I really 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:10.120 like you. 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:13.279 Well I don't think so, I know, there wasn't I was. 0:05:13.320 --> 0:05:15.680 I kind of felt and knew that he was going 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:18.800 to say. And I feel like, actually, Ilia told me 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:23.920 he loved me two weeks into the relationship, which accidentally, 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:28.080 this is slander like, this is like he did, but 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:30.960 by accident, we were sitting like we had a few 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:32.760 drinks on a date, on a night out and were 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:37.440 sitting on like a curb in Adelaide, waiting for an uber, 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:38.320 waiting for an uber. 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:42.160 That's very Adelaide on the streets amongst the filth. 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:44.880 Josh calls me rich and then he calls me filthy. 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:47.120 Like then he says a smell. 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:53.360 The dumpness the us, good luck to Eli. 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:59.159 Good luck mate, And then he said I was he 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:01.239 met two of my friends that night, and I said 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:04.479 something along the lines of sometimes I'm like my friend 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:07.159 Mitch in this way, sometimes I'm like my friend Reese 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:08.520 in this way. They were the two friends that he 0:06:08.600 --> 0:06:12.560 met that night. And then he goes, I love Sam 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:16.040 as in he was trying to say, like that's not 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:18.159 saying I'm in love with you, I know, but for 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:23.040 our entire relationship, I've like made this joke that he 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:26.360 said I love you really early, and I think that 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:30.320 joke that we had going made me realize that he 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:33.560 was in love with me because of like how comfortable 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.719 that joke sort of just like was allowed to stay around. 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:40.159 And we'd made we'd had many conversations joking around love 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:42.400 and had kind of said it in a way like 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:44.120 we'd almost told each other we love each other with 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:46.520 that actually saying it, because that topic and that joke 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:47.080 had come up. 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:48.240 For a lot of times. 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:49.760 That's cute. 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:52.919 Yeah, So yeah, I felt great saying it and then 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:57.840 realizing now that it's only the second time in my 0:06:57.920 --> 0:06:59.800 life that I've felt like this. 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:01.640 And I was with. 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:06.200 Someone for two years, and I have realized that I 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:08.960 was never in love with him. I was just anxious 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:12.520 and chasing their validation. Yeah, the whole time. 0:07:12.600 --> 0:07:15.360 And that was similar to that guy I said at Christmas, 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:18.000 Like when he said that, like it makes me sick. Yeah, 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:19.640 I still felt I was falling in love and I'm 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:22.240 trying to prove why he should love me back. 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:30.240 Yeah, but you you realized within a few weeks that go, well, yeah, 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:32.160 everyone could be the judge of whether I was. 0:07:32.480 --> 0:07:34.920 You gave me such good relationship advice a week. 0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:37.640 Why do you think I've got this relationship advice? I've 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:41.240 gone through the trenches. But this guy, I mean, the 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:44.000 red flags were there from the start. Actually, I've already 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:46.120 shared a bit about him. It's the one where I 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:48.760 climbed through the door and then got told off by 0:07:48.800 --> 0:07:49.240 the dad. 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:51.680 This is age gap as well, was it? 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:55.600 It was an age gap? Yeah, age gap it's never good. 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.240 So we were like, have. 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:00.960 We learned someone that data younger people? 0:08:02.400 --> 0:08:05.120 Actually, maybe that's the moral of the story. Thanks for listening. Guys, 0:08:05.400 --> 0:08:06.360 we've figured it out. 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:10.680 But yeah, so when I first met this guy, this 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:14.200 is like one of the first red flags. After that 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:17.600 initial meeting of his dad, I met his dad again 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:20.760 in a like more relaxed situation. 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:23.000 Where he wasn't telling me off a queen door this time. Yeah. 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:27.640 Yeah, and I have a business, like my spins studio, 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:30.640 and he we were just talking and as you normally 0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:32.959 ask someone you've just met, what do you do for work? 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:36.400 And I said, oh, I have a gym, it's a 0:08:36.520 --> 0:08:41.160 spins studio. It's going well, everything's good. And then he said, oh, yeah, 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:43.400 like how's it going like, because he had a business 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:45.680 as well, and I said, oh, actually, I've just met 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:49.040 with the accountant last week. We're putting together an IP 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:51.760 to like look for investors and stuff. So that's kind 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:54.000 of where we're out. We want to expand the business. 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:56.040 Just a passing conversation. 0:08:57.400 --> 0:08:57.599 To it. 0:08:57.720 --> 0:08:59.800 Then I go up into the room after having this 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:05.199 very friendly conversation with his dad to this person saying 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:08.920 to me that I was with, I can't believe you're 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:10.920 trying to get my dad to invest into your business, 0:09:12.160 --> 0:09:19.720 all right, And again I was like, what, Like he's 0:09:19.760 --> 0:09:21.800 asked me a question. I've answered it in no way, 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:25.360 a shape or form was at the intent, and he's yeah, 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:29.280 and justifying myself, which I shouldn't have had to. I 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:31.480 should have just been out of track. Well, that's ridiculous. 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:33.520 He asked me a question about my business. But so 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:36.520 it's important probably to mention that his dad and his 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:38.840 mum were actually quite well off, well off, and they 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:45.440 were I think, yeah, the whole get the investment, and 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:50.640 I think he had insecurities about people coming after his 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:53.800 family family money, not just with me, like with friends, 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:56.240 like with everyone. And that comes up a couple of 0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:59.160 times when I talk about some other situations where he 0:09:59.880 --> 0:10:02.200 or about to talk about it, some other situations where 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:07.920 he gets a bit defensive about that exact topic. But yeah, 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:13.640 there was another night where one of my friends made 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:20.160 a joke about some friends of his that were partying 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:24.400 and doing extracurricular activities when they were partying as well drugs. 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:28.480 Yeah, thank you, sorry, but he. 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:31.040 Would judge everybody for doing them, but he would also 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:32.240 do them sometimes as well. 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:33.920 Yeah. 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:36.440 Yeah, but it's to the point, like so this night 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:38.280 we were orders out to dinner and or with another 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:42.160 couple that we're friends, with and the guy made a joke. 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:45.480 It wasn't an interesting joke. I don't think it was 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:47.040 saying that you would really laugh at. But it was 0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:49.000 about a funny situation that happened on the night out 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:50.640 with this group of friends that he was talking about. 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:53.720 And I didn't react because I had nothing to react 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:54.319 to in the story. 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:55.640 It was a shit joke. 0:10:56.720 --> 0:10:58.200 Wasn't even a joke, it was a story. 0:10:58.280 --> 0:10:58.600 Yeah. 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:02.800 But later I've gone home to my partner at the 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:07.400 time has said, you didn't laugh at that joke because 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:10.600 you knew that I don't like that stuff and that 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:13.320 you were going to be in trouble if you laughed 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:16.160 at it. And when he first said that, I was like, 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:20.480 what are you talking about? Like, which I didn't even remember. 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:22.880 So it was a joke about someone doing drugsism. 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:26.199 Yeah, exactly right, And he was like you purposely like changed, 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:29.520 like you're changing who you are to be like with me. 0:11:29.640 --> 0:11:31.880 To he said, you'd be in trouble. 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:39.280 All right, dad, Yeah, literally, And that night I just 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:43.320 remember like getting yelled at for like poor so long. 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:45.640 He even like ditched a pillow into the back of 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:46.800 my head as I was sitting on the back of 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:50.600 the head, like you're ridiculous, like aggressive way, yeah, in 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:54.280 an aggressive way like that, yeah, which at that point 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:56.280 I did like stand up and say, nah, I'm done. 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:58.439 I can't like do this, and I go to walk out, 0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:01.600 and then he starts crying like no, stays that real 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:04.120 like manipulative like I want you and not let you 0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:07.880 go type situation. So I still stayed in the relationship 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:12.840 after that, and and listening to your story before, like 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:14.720 I was just like and you said, like, oh, like 0:12:14.760 --> 0:12:17.160 I should have known, like I understand better than anyone 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:20.480 when you're in it, like you just can't see from 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:24.000 the outside, Like I still like I couldn't see how 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:26.439 ridiculous it was that he would judge all these people 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:30.319 so harshly for doing drugs but do them sometimes himself, 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:33.880 And like how ridiculous it was that he accused me 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:37.360 of trying to get money from his dad when I 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:40.400 literally was just like talking about my business and where 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:42.200 I was at, Like I was literally asked her a 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:45.360 question and I responded it would have been ruder for 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:46.280 me to not share anything. 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:48.319 You could have just been like, mate, my dad's got 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:54.439 a tennis courts, well, your dad's money. 0:12:57.480 --> 0:12:59.520 But then like there was another situation where the money 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:01.640 thing became issue as well, And this one's quite funny. 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:06.200 We were away camping and his when I say like 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.160 he was insecure around his friends, because I think it 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:10.520 was a kind of a It was a running joke. 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:13.320 People would joke about how well off his family was, 0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:15.600 so I guess maybe this was what made him sensitive 0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:18.679 to it. And someone asked what his full name was, 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:21.040 and obviously I'm not going to government name him on 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:23.400 the podcast, so I've written another name of what his 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:28.240 name sounded equivalent to. But his name sounded like Edward 0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:29.720 James Nicholas. 0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:32.079 The Third, like it was a fancy, rich white person. 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:36.480 Then yeah, he's very very Yeah. And I made a 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:38.439 joke when someone asked what's his full name? And then 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:41.480 he replied with the name I just said. I mean 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:43.160 I had a few beers and I was like, it 0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:45.040 sounds like a trust fund name, doesn't it, And like 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.960 everybody hysterically like laugh, like yeah it does. 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:53.480 And you said that in front of him. I'm not sure. 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:57.800 He's a passing joke, and I guess no. 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:00.240 But if you know he's insecure about money. 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:04.040 Yeah, for sure, I knew he was on your Yeah, 0:14:04.040 --> 0:14:06.600 this is what I mean. Like, for sure, I shouldn't 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:08.439 have said the jokes, and you were that he was 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:10.120 going to be offended, But I shouldn't have been in 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:13.559 that relationship anymore because he was never you know, taking 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:15.400 my side of things and never seeing like what I 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.400 actually truly meant with it by it, which was just 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:19.640 that his name that did sound like that I had 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:21.680 nothing to do with the real fact that his family 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:25.000 actually had money. But that night after that happened, he 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:28.800 just runs off, like we're camping and he just runs 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:30.320 away about his bikes. 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:32.520 Well, I just down the beach, just runs. 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:34.360 Off like like very mature. 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:36.440 Yeah, So I like did chase him for a little bit, 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:38.600 and then he just got like where you're going chart 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:41.160 thing and he's like nah, like fuck you, fuck off, 0:14:42.080 --> 0:14:45.640 run off, and yeah. Then I had no idea he 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:48.200 was for like a few hours. And then eventually I'm 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:49.920 just like, I'm just going to go back to the Swag, 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.400 And he did end up coming back to the Swag 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:54.760 at some point, and then I remember when he got 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.040 into the Swag, I was just like, am I still 0:14:57.080 --> 0:15:01.320 your boyfriend? Like I was still like yeah, Like it 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:04.480 was ridiculous. And then the last thing that I guess 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:05.200 really made me. 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:07.960 And was she still his boyfriend? 0:15:08.120 --> 0:15:10.400 Yeah, yeah, I was still his boyfriend and that's what 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:13.680 I mean. But like he would just pushes you away 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:15.920 and pull you I didn't understand, but that's what made 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:17.720 me think I was in love, like because I had 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:20.640 this like I was always feeling so passionately about him, 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:23.800 But it wasn't love. It was just insecurity. It was 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:30.880 just like this want to be loved probably, and then yeah, sad. 0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:33.560 Then the last one though, was shocking. 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:36.280 I was at his house one day because we were 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:39.280 pretty much living in his place by this point, and 0:15:39.920 --> 0:15:41.440 his mom came over one day when. 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:43.360 I was just me there, you're investor. 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:51.040 In and decided to start the conversation by saying, I 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:53.320 just need to have a taught to you and it 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:57.240 can never my son can never know about it, and goes, 0:15:57.320 --> 0:15:59.880 I don't think you're a very good match for my son, 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:00.960 and that you. 0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:02.000 Like, excuse me. 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:10.320 Yeah, she's like, you party too much, You're you're just 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:13.720 not the right fear, You're you're not about coming to 0:16:13.800 --> 0:16:15.800 like all our family stuff all the time, and like 0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:18.160 I did, I was always showing off like yeah, just 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:18.760 kind of like. 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:21.000 I would not know how to react if someone's mom 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:21.920 said that to me, be like. 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:24.440 Yeah and like and I was like kind of like 0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:27.080 because of how insecure and actions I was in this relationship, 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:28.720 I was always showing up. I was always trying to 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:31.320 like do everything perfectly what he said. And the issue 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:33.920 was that he didn't really like his mum. And when 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:35.360 I say that, like not all the time. I'm sure 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.040 he loves her, but like he would be like, we're 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:38.800 not going to that or like we're not doing this, and. 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:40.360 Then she's train that. 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:42.560 It's like all me, Oh my god, what a toxic 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:45.680 from Oh yeah, anyway, this is Elliott family. 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:52.880 I'm not no wonder yeah no. 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:55.800 And yeah. 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:59.360 So then she leaves and then obviously the first thing 0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:04.280 she said is that you can't tell him that I've 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:04.680 been here. 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:06.480 Oh my god, I would have told him straight away. 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:09.880 Well, I was like torn because I was terrified of her. 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:12.320 I didn't upset her because I cared about the relationship 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:13.800 and I wanted to be in this family. 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:15.040 And then I could didn't. 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:16.479 Want to lie to him, So I sat on it 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:19.640 for like a week or so, and then I was like, nah, 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:22.200 like the person your relationship with is who you should 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.200 be most honest with I get back to earlier in 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:25.760 my rules. You know, you can lie to other people, 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:30.000 don't lie to each other. So I told him one 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:33.720 beer or a million beers, exactly right. Oh, someone responded 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:35.960 because I posted a story of Illian and I having 0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:37.680 a beer yesterday and they responded, one beer or a 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:39.960 million biers. And I was like, oh, listener, someone's listening 0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:45.800 to us. Side note and yeah, So I told this 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:51.240 guy what his mum had done and he just went 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:54.480 off at me, are you Yeah? Yeah, I should have 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:55.800 asked you, what do you think his reaction was going 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:58.520 to be? Yeah, for being untrustworthy, for not telling him 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:00.480 straight away, for sitting on it for week, And I 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:02.439 was like, I was just trying to get what was 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:03.760 the right thing to do. I feel like I've come 0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:06.280 to you reasonably, So like I just like the next 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:08.080 opportunity where I felt like it I was safe. 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:10.679 So, like, the most shocking thing about this is in 0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:12.960 the gay world, you are one of the like, most wholesome, 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:15.879 loveliest people, Like there are so many people out there 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:18.840 who were just masses who want to fuck around, sleep 0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:21.120 with everyone, say let's have an open relationship, and you're 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:24.280 I think so too, that you're catching the gay ward 0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:26.240 and then the moment to say that to you. 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:27.560 Yeah. Wild. 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:32.840 Anyway, at this point, I'm finally like starting to realize. 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:35.280 And it was good timing because he was about to 0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:37.840 move away for work for for about six months. We're 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:40.200 about to do long distance. He ended up moving away. 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:43.520 We tried long distance for like a month or so, 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:45.760 and then he ended up breaking up with me while 0:18:45.760 --> 0:18:46.960 he was away. Is like, I just need to be 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:48.840 alone and I just remember being numb to it, which 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:50.919 is another like sign that I was never actually in 0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:52.560 love with him, because when he did break up with me, 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:55.040 I kind of felt this like relief as opposed to 0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:56.679 like heartbreak. 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:00.280 Well that sounds like with my story, Yeah, and it 0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:02.400 was a lot quicker. But when we finally had that 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:06.800 night apart, yeah, because it was like I'd left the bubble. Yeah, 0:19:07.000 --> 0:19:10.400 it wasn't attached to him. My family could think clearly. Yeah, 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:13.359 And it sounds like it took for him to leave Adelaide. 0:19:13.640 --> 0:19:15.560 Yeah, where you went. 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:17.199