Speaker 1: Things moved from friendly to a little bit more friendly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember the exact text where things went from
Speaker 2: friendly to a little bit more friendly, and I'm not
Speaker 2: ashamed to say it was me. Do you remember the
Speaker 2: article why I wrote the articllo? He was talking about
Speaker 2: the time we.
Speaker 1: Broke up that one.
Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to separate bathrooms. We would like to
Speaker 3: acknowledge the Gadigor people of the urination, the traditional custodians
Speaker 3: of this land, and pay our respects to the elders,
Speaker 3: both past and present. We are Ali and cam Dado,
Speaker 3: We Droy we I stole your name.
Speaker 4: You feel like you want to own the show today.
Speaker 4: I own the potty today. No, okay, well let's go.
Speaker 4: I just need to know while we set it up.
Speaker 3: No, I just thought. I just thought I'd do something
Speaker 3: completely wild and crazy.
Speaker 5: Was how good? It's just why it's a whole new thing.
Speaker 5: Whole new thing after two hundred episodes, we're doing something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I said we instead of I.
Speaker 5: You claimed me.
Speaker 3: Small bite sized pieces of sexy.
Speaker 5: Actually you claimed me. Do you ever feel stuck?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 5: You so? You do get stuck in life?
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 5: What do you do aside from being stuck?
Speaker 3: I think The first thing is to acknowledge that I
Speaker 3: feel stuck. I think that's the first thing. To just
Speaker 3: go why do I feel so yucky or awful? And go, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm feeling really stuck, and then keep asking questions why
Speaker 3: do I feel stuck? What's going on? Am I repeating something?
Speaker 3: And then what do I what would make me feel unstuck?
Speaker 3: Oh if I just went for a walk, and or
Speaker 3: if I went for a dance. Sometimes dancing really helps
Speaker 3: me feel unstuck a.
Speaker 2: Bit of it.
Speaker 5: It's a really good answer. Oh great, thanks?
Speaker 3: How about you? How do you get unstuck if you're stuck?
Speaker 4: Well, I think the first thing, yes, acknowledged, jeez, I
Speaker 4: feel stuck. And then maybe just sit in it for
Speaker 4: a while, allow myself to feel it, and go all right,
Speaker 4: is this what I want to be?
Speaker 5: Where I want to be?
Speaker 4: And then it usually starts with fresh air, fresh air
Speaker 4: and salt water something, but just move and just go okay,
Speaker 4: one step, another step, another step, and just do it
Speaker 4: for half an hour, whatever it is, and then see
Speaker 4: what again, staying curious to what's happening. And then it's
Speaker 4: usually when I'm coming returning to the car or walking
Speaker 4: off the beach or something. Afterwards, I've done it and
Speaker 4: I've got nothing happened. And then if I pay attention
Speaker 4: to the last five minutes of that moment of going
Speaker 4: out and doing something, invariably the answer to whatever I'm
Speaker 4: looking for, or you know, some kind of a response
Speaker 4: or something like that happens. And so I always pay
Speaker 4: attention to the last five or ten minutes of that
Speaker 4: moment when I take myself off for.
Speaker 5: A bit of a breather. Okay, yeah, cool.
Speaker 4: We're in the middle of winter here in Australia. I
Speaker 4: know we've got overseas listeners there at the heat of summer.
Speaker 4: We're in the cool of winter. A lot of us
Speaker 4: turn inwards in winter. We hibernate, ruminate about our lives.
Speaker 4: So we thought it'd be a great time to chat
Speaker 4: with author daniel Collie.
Speaker 3: Danielle is an integrative life coach, speaker, event facilitator and writer.
Speaker 3: Now for the past five years, she's been helping people
Speaker 3: who are feeling stuck, what crazy we just made that
Speaker 3: segue and feeling dissatisfied with their lives and help them
Speaker 3: to reach their full potential.
Speaker 4: Danielle also delivers leadership workshops for well known brands that
Speaker 4: include Sony Pictures forty five, Fitness, The Leadership Institute and
Speaker 4: Transport of New South Wales. She's got a new book
Speaker 4: coming out. We can chat about that, and she's bringing
Speaker 4: in her partner Nick here. We know nothing about correct
Speaker 4: not as scaic as they say, so we're going to
Speaker 4: mind them for their story about how they navigate their relationship.
Speaker 5: We might learn something about what they know, no doubt.
Speaker 3: Please welcome daniel Collie and Nick Denham.
Speaker 4: Welcome Danielle and Nick to the bathroom. How you guys,
Speaker 4: feeling good?
Speaker 2: Good? Thank you? Excited to be here?
Speaker 5: Nick? Are you excited to be here?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, I'm a little excited.
Speaker 5: This is Nick's first podcast listener.
Speaker 4: It's very exciting. Hey, we are our relationship podcast. Just
Speaker 4: bring us up to speed with who you are, each
Speaker 4: of you and how long you been together, that sort
Speaker 4: of stuff, just in a nutshell, just so we're all
Speaker 4: on the same page.
Speaker 2: Okay, we've been together for well this time ten years,
Speaker 2: but we have history. We were friends with benefits for
Speaker 2: a while about twenty years ago, and we had a
Speaker 2: little bit of on again, off again kind of stuff,
Speaker 2: and then I went away and got married. And had
Speaker 2: a couple of kids, got a mortgage, all of that,
Speaker 2: and we stayed in touch loosely.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 2: And then just as my marriage was ending, my first
Speaker 2: marriage was ending, Nick sent me an email and said,
Speaker 2: would you like to come to my fortieth birthday with you?
Speaker 2: And your husband? Was the invitation? And I said, well,
Speaker 2: I will, but he won't. And that's pretty much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 3: Were you with someone at the time for your fortieth
Speaker 3: Have you been married before?
Speaker 1: I have not.
Speaker 3: Wow, you've always held a flame for Dannie out Okay,
Speaker 3: so down into the juicy stuff. So let's take us
Speaker 3: back twenty years ago you were. This was friends with
Speaker 3: benefits time.
Speaker 1: A little bit before then, I was working in a
Speaker 1: restaurant with He was a maid of mine, which is Preston,
Speaker 1: her boyfriend, and Daniel was working in a restaurant at
Speaker 1: the same time for my girlfriend at the time was
Speaker 1: her manager. And that's how we met. Okay, Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then we kept stayed in touch. There's a few things
Speaker 1: went sideways with Preston, but I stayed in touch over
Speaker 1: the years, and things I moved from friendly to a
Speaker 1: little bit more friendly.
Speaker 2: I remember the exact text where things went from friendly
Speaker 2: to a little bit more friendly. And I'm not ashamed
Speaker 2: to say it was me.
Speaker 1: It was me who did it.
Speaker 5: What did the text say?
Speaker 2: I can't remember it because we were always very platonic
Speaker 2: and friendly and nice and it was just all above board.
Speaker 2: And I remember the day I was like.
Speaker 5: Oh, should I do it?
Speaker 2: Should I should I start the flirt? And I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm going to go for it, and I did. It
Speaker 2: was quite well received.
Speaker 3: So what was that about each other that you really
Speaker 3: always remembered?
Speaker 2: What was it?
Speaker 1: Like? A cheekiness gives me heaps with jabs in the
Speaker 1: rigs and that hasn't changed. And so we always have
Speaker 1: a laugh. And so my best friends, I've going to
Speaker 1: hang out and given and up on the bed in
Speaker 1: an afternoon and end up having a giggle. So that
Speaker 1: hasn't changed in twenty years. So that's the thing that's persistent.
Speaker 2: There's a real ease. There's a real ease in our relationship,
Speaker 2: even when there are tough moments like we don't we
Speaker 2: don't fight, we don't blow up. I've had a lot
Speaker 2: of really sort of volatile relationships or combative relationships whereas
Speaker 2: we can communicate really really easily with each other. And yeah,
Speaker 2: that humor that it's always always ever present humor inappropriate
Speaker 2: and you are.
Speaker 3: Very much about play. That's something that you're a huge
Speaker 3: proponent of in life and probably in relationships. Yeah, is
Speaker 3: that what's a huge part of your relationship now?
Speaker 2: I'd love to say yes, Allie, I really would, But
Speaker 2: we get in the grind like everybody else, you know
Speaker 2: that that Yeah, that sort of day to day with
Speaker 2: you know, kids at school and and to businesses and
Speaker 2: you know, the day to day definitely becomes quite monotonous.
Speaker 2: So I think I have a like a big air
Speaker 2: of spontaneity. I do like to get out and about
Speaker 2: and do lots of stuff on the weekend. So I'd
Speaker 2: say I do drive, variety and playe.
Speaker 5: Do you like shiny things a bit like that too?
Speaker 2: Things?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I attracted easily what that?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. But I also like, I feel like
Speaker 2: if I'm not doing if I'm not doing stuff, then
Speaker 2: I'm kind of wasting time, which is you know, I
Speaker 2: think a really big testament to society. Actually I'm not
Speaker 2: I know I'm not alone on that because I you know,
Speaker 2: work with people in my coaching business all the time
Speaker 2: who feel that same sort of thing like, so be
Speaker 2: able to have I think it's the it's the combo
Speaker 2: of play and of course res being able to have
Speaker 2: the downtime. Right.
Speaker 1: I'm more of the resting type with you.
Speaker 3: I love the rest, the quiet. Cam's the busy bet
Speaker 3: it has trouble just sitting down and doing nothing unless
Speaker 3: football's on.
Speaker 1: Sure, well that's not sitting down and doing nothing.
Speaker 5: That's getting internally hot.
Speaker 4: I was thinking this morning about that great quote that
Speaker 4: Mike Tyson said.
Speaker 5: I'd love to drill down and where that came from.
Speaker 4: But you know, everyone has a plan until you get
Speaker 4: punched in the face, right, And then I was thinking
Speaker 4: Bob Dylan, he sings about the hard rains going to fall.
Speaker 4: We all deal with life's ups and downs. I reckon
Speaker 4: success is how you bounce back from that. You got fired,
Speaker 4: Danny l from a big job, and that's when things changed?
Speaker 5: Is that? If I got that right?
Speaker 4: So, how did you bounce back from tell us a
Speaker 4: little bit about that big job and Nick were you
Speaker 4: and the picture as well during that time? Okay, great,
Speaker 4: so can you can both sort of give.
Speaker 2: You So I had been in the grinder for a
Speaker 2: while before that job came along.
Speaker 5: What's the grinder? What do you mean.
Speaker 2: Grinder on the treadmill? You know, I really like hammering
Speaker 2: hard to survive, always hustling, living on adrenaline and cortisol.
Speaker 2: I was a freelance writer. I was a solo mum,
Speaker 2: so Nick was on the scene, but we weren't living
Speaker 2: together and we were seeing each other every second weekend
Speaker 2: at that stage, which is all very romantic, but I
Speaker 2: was constantly sort of stressed about survival for myself and
Speaker 2: the kids. So that job offered me a sense of
Speaker 2: stability because it was working in a magazine. It was
Speaker 2: just a few days a week, and it gave me,
Speaker 2: I thought credibility because I was I had been freelancing
Speaker 2: as a writer, and I felt like an impostor and
Speaker 2: like I was going to get found out at any moment.
Speaker 5: So the job was like a validation.
Speaker 2: The job was absolutely my identity had become really wrapped
Speaker 2: up in that job. So when I lost the job,
Speaker 2: I really questioned my self worth. My self esteem really
Speaker 2: felled out. The way that the firing was handled was
Speaker 2: really bad as well, because there was no communication around it.
Speaker 2: I was just told to go home. Yeah I got
Speaker 2: ghost Yeah, I go home and wait further news, And
Speaker 2: three weeks later I was still trying to find out
Speaker 2: from people what was happening. I don't want it to
Speaker 2: be a beat up on the publication because they they
Speaker 2: went through some major changes, you know, there were changes
Speaker 2: in management. Like for whatever reason it happened, right, it
Speaker 2: was my reaction to it that has has been a
Speaker 2: point of interest for me to see what I made
Speaker 2: it mean. I made it mean that I suck so
Speaker 2: having to ago or having to get myself from the
Speaker 2: place of feeling like I had nothing to offer and
Speaker 2: I was dispensable. It was very hard for me then
Speaker 2: to get back on the freelance kind of thing to
Speaker 2: have because it takes a lot of as you both
Speaker 2: would know, it takes a lot of energy to be
Speaker 2: putting yourself out there all the time, you know, coming
Speaker 2: up with the ideas, pitching to editors, and if you're
Speaker 2: coming from a space of self esteem deficit, it's really Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's so hard and fear exactly. Yeah, it's so hard
Speaker 2: to have the pump required. Yeah, I don't think I
Speaker 2: did bounce back. I wouldn't say I bounced back. It
Speaker 2: was more of a like it's crawling, I'm bleeding stumps.
Speaker 2: I was still sort of pitching, feeling really bad, hoping
Speaker 2: I could get things going again, and I decided that
Speaker 2: I would take a little bit of time off to recalibrate.
Speaker 2: And that's when I got a call from my dad
Speaker 2: and my dad actually had cancer and he had been
Speaker 2: given only months to live. So I decided to use
Speaker 2: my hiatus to go and spend some time with him
Speaker 2: and see, if you know, I had an epiphany. I
Speaker 2: had this idea actually to create a well being hub,
Speaker 2: like to repatriate all of my old health and wellbeing
Speaker 2: articles because I wrote so much in that space health wellbeing, relationships.
Speaker 2: Dad done hours of research with you know, so many
Speaker 2: different experts. So I thought, if I take all of
Speaker 2: that information and create some kind of hub to help
Speaker 2: people who were feeling like me to feel better, right,
Speaker 2: And I didn't have any real like structure or idea
Speaker 2: around it. I just thought I could. This is something
Speaker 2: that I could do. So I thought that while I
Speaker 2: was with my dad in New Zealand, I would I'd
Speaker 2: build this you know, new platform. And it didn't happen.
Speaker 2: I didn't, Yeah, it didn't happen. I realized while I
Speaker 2: was there. I needed to just be there, and Dad
Speaker 2: sort of died within a month of me being there.
Speaker 2: I packed the kids up, we went to his little
Speaker 2: remote place in the Bay of Islands, and I was
Speaker 2: fortunate enough to be able to walk him through that
Speaker 2: experience and be with him by his side, and that like,
Speaker 2: that's when I really that's when I really plunged. After
Speaker 2: that sort of that experience of profound beauty but also
Speaker 2: deep grief. I really, yeah, I was pretty I was
Speaker 2: pretty lost, wasn't obey. I spent a bit of time
Speaker 2: crying on the couch a few months, I would.
Speaker 3: Say, I mean, that's that's a huge double whammy. And
Speaker 3: as you said, you know, your identity has just been stripped.
Speaker 3: You've lost a job, and now to lose a parent,
Speaker 3: you know, and such a I mean, that's a month
Speaker 3: is not long. No, when you look back on that time, now,
Speaker 3: do you see it as it had to happen in
Speaker 3: that way for you to be who you are?
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. I even think that the entire journey
Speaker 2: because my father and I had a complicated relationship. He
Speaker 2: wasn't around in my youth. He lived on a yacht
Speaker 2: and started around the world, which is a great adventure
Speaker 2: for a man. But that was in the era before
Speaker 2: mobile phones and technology, you know. So he was gone
Speaker 2: for a lot of my childhood, and we became good
Speaker 2: friends in my twenties. So he was never a parental
Speaker 2: influence so much as a man who I always loved,
Speaker 2: and he was on the periphery of my life, and
Speaker 2: then he became a very strong support, you know, in
Speaker 2: my twenties and throughout my life it just got stronger.
Speaker 2: Our friendship got a lot stronger. So for me, it
Speaker 2: was like recognizing that the entire journey that we'd had
Speaker 2: together when he wasn't there my childhood, that formed a
Speaker 2: lot of beliefs that I had about myself and all
Speaker 2: of those different things, you know, because there's been a
Speaker 2: series of terrible choices in boyfriends and self esteem issues
Speaker 2: and eating disorders and all of that sort of stuff
Speaker 2: that's all sort of so tightly wrapped up with those
Speaker 2: sort of parental relationships and things like that. So for me,
Speaker 2: I realized that every step of our life together was
Speaker 2: I call it a sacred contract. I think that Dad
Speaker 2: had to be that guy so that I could become
Speaker 2: this woman.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, beautiful, Wow, and Nick where you've watched your
Speaker 3: I guess girlfriend at the time marriede. It like just
Speaker 3: fall into the pit. How were you with all that?
Speaker 1: It's hard because we're sitting on that. We're basically sitting
Speaker 1: on the sideline, and you can Daniel would share with
Speaker 1: me or in the thoughts you can see the story
Speaker 1: going on in ahead. But i'd seen her from when
Speaker 1: we first started seeing each other again, taking a mummy
Speaker 1: blog and a food blog, and then turning it in,
Speaker 1: monetizing it, and then transforming it into when she transformed
Speaker 1: into becoming like a freelance writer, and then transforming once
Speaker 1: again into the life coach she is now. So for me,
Speaker 1: it was a typical guy trying to fix things, you know,
Speaker 1: So that's not what it is. This is what it is.
Speaker 1: But sitting on the sideline and just trying to go
Speaker 1: have a look. Look, here's what you've done. You have
Speaker 1: done all these great things. These are all wins. But
Speaker 1: you've got to try. And if you can't look at
Speaker 1: it as a win at the moment, it's going to
Speaker 1: be very hard for you to move into the next
Speaker 1: stage of your life. But you have to go through
Speaker 1: that in the grief process and then also look at
Speaker 1: your identity again and try and figure out who you are,
Speaker 1: but who what do you want to do? Because what
Speaker 1: you do isn't who you are. They're two different things
Speaker 1: and we often get those confused together.
Speaker 4: Did you know that twenty years ago? Or is this
Speaker 4: something that you've learned along the way subsequent.
Speaker 1: This only happened in the last ten years.
Speaker 6: So we've been together for ten years, just saying yeah,
Speaker 6: so I've done learning about stuffing things up many times
Speaker 6: myself and then going, well, you know, you get to
Speaker 6: pick up your bat and ball and keep going.
Speaker 1: So and also I don't know, looking at it from
Speaker 1: trying to be pragmatic about it, it's not always the
Speaker 1: easiest way to look at things. But when you're on
Speaker 1: the outside looking in, it's easy to see all that
Speaker 1: individual components that you can consider wins in your life.
Speaker 1: But when you're in it yourself, and I know that
Speaker 1: feeling of the depth of despair, it's very hard to
Speaker 1: see out. You just feel like you're sinking. So I
Speaker 1: was just trying to be like a life raft on
Speaker 1: the side and just you know, and just be there
Speaker 1: for her.
Speaker 5: Well, you guys should do a podcast called The Life
Speaker 5: coach and the life raft. I love that.
Speaker 2: But just even just hearing you say, like you just
Speaker 2: being the life raft, that's exactly He's never said that before,
Speaker 2: not using that word, but it's actually it's making me.
Speaker 2: It's given me the feels because he was exactly that.
Speaker 2: Like there were many many times I felt like I
Speaker 2: was kind of clinging. I was lost at sea, I
Speaker 2: was clinging, and you were just so rock steady, always
Speaker 2: so rock steady.
Speaker 1: Realization is that you can't make people change the way
Speaker 1: they feel. They've got to work through its patients not
Speaker 1: one of my virtues, but with Daniel, I have patients
Speaker 1: and a ton of empathy. Apparently, Daniel, you.
Speaker 3: Talk a lot about the hustle culture, and the two
Speaker 3: of you we were talking off there before, have made
Speaker 3: a sea change out of Sydney. How has your life
Speaker 3: changed away from the idea of the hustle culture now
Speaker 3: that you aren't understood it so much.
Speaker 2: It's interesting because hustle culture is part sort of where
Speaker 2: you are, but it's also an intrinsic thing. So when
Speaker 2: I first moved to the beach, to the under the mountain,
Speaker 2: I was anticipating this sort of epiphany to just occur,
Speaker 2: and I remember going for a coffee with a friend
Speaker 2: and I said, it's still the same. You know, I'm
Speaker 2: still as soon as the kids are out the door,
Speaker 2: I sit down at my desk. I'm working all day.
Speaker 2: They come home and doing the run around and in
Speaker 2: the dinner time, then I sit down and work some more.
Speaker 2: And she said, you know, the proximity, like where you
Speaker 2: live isn't going to be the thing, Like nothing changes
Speaker 2: if you don't make changes. And she I know, she said,
Speaker 2: is it's sacred land where we live. It's between two
Speaker 2: song lines and it's magnificent. And she said, you know,
Speaker 2: you need to slow down and let the land tell
Speaker 2: you how you need to live here. But you've got
Speaker 2: to be quiet enough to listen. And I have heeded that,
Speaker 2: and I've tried really hard to unwind and unravel all
Speaker 2: of that programming of the doing. And I have to
Speaker 2: be productive, and I have to be kicking goals, and
Speaker 2: I have to have all the ambition and I have
Speaker 2: to be striving for those. And I think that ambition
Speaker 2: and goals and achievement there are awesome things, and they're
Speaker 2: really important for a human to have that direction and
Speaker 2: that sense of satisfaction. It's the energy with which you
Speaker 2: do it. So trying to unravel my intrinsic urge to
Speaker 2: be on the go all the time and pushing and
Speaker 2: trying and struggling and all of that to being able
Speaker 2: to go with a sense of ease and fun and
Speaker 2: play and curiosity like let's let's try this. I wonder
Speaker 2: what happens as opposed to like grouping on with your
Speaker 2: fingernails and like you know, white knuckling it through through
Speaker 2: the good stuff. You miss it because you're just constantly
Speaker 2: looking at the next thing.
Speaker 4: Where do expectations fit in the hustle culture and stress?
Speaker 5: Do you think for both of you.
Speaker 2: Expectations from internal exity.
Speaker 4: Having expectations of all the doing For me anyway, that's
Speaker 4: way more stress. It's work better for me to take
Speaker 4: away just do because I want to do it and
Speaker 4: have an intent to do something and lose the expectation
Speaker 4: of how it's supposed to be perceived or look or
Speaker 4: what rewards.
Speaker 1: Control. You're talking about it. So if you don't get
Speaker 1: the outcome you've set your heart on, then you're not
Speaker 1: in control of it. Is really more.
Speaker 5: Success and the failure that acceptance.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's the judgment of whether something has worked or
Speaker 2: it hasn't worked. I took up painting in COVID and
Speaker 2: I anticipated being awesome at it, and sad to say,
Speaker 2: I was not. And I found myself in the process
Speaker 2: of it being really set on the outcome, and when
Speaker 2: it wasn't that, because the mercy middle in the creative
Speaker 2: process is always a bit hideous and hard to get through.
Speaker 2: When it wasn't that, I was hard on myself. I
Speaker 2: judged myself and I wanted to quit, and I went
Speaker 2: into the There's a Facebook group where the mentor, Tracy Vijugo,
Speaker 2: where she you can communicate with her. She's since become
Speaker 2: a friend. She's amazing. I asked her, captain, my captain,
Speaker 2: how do you enjoy the process, because right now it's
Speaker 2: not fun. This is I'm supposed to be doing this
Speaker 2: for play and it just feels hard and I'm just
Speaker 2: judging everything that I do. And she said, I encourage
Speaker 2: people to approach it with a sense of curiosity, like
Speaker 2: I wonder what happens if I try this. I wonder
Speaker 2: what to happen if I put this here. I wonder
Speaker 2: what to happen if I do that? And I realized,
Speaker 2: Cam's that's the expectation, right, if we if we change
Speaker 2: the way we look at things and approach it from this.
Speaker 2: I wonder, you know, this sense of curiosity. I wonder
Speaker 2: what happen if I do that, if I throw myself
Speaker 2: into this, I wonder how it'll go. I have. It's
Speaker 2: good to have a sense of the outcome that you're
Speaker 2: moving towards. Otherwise you're kind of like flailing around, right,
Speaker 2: so you have a sense of where you're going. But
Speaker 2: I think being able to sort of release the grip
Speaker 2: on what you think it should be, because sometimes where
Speaker 2: you end up is actually much better than where you
Speaker 2: thought you were going.
Speaker 4: Well, and you don't know where you're going, So the
Speaker 4: curiosity is a huge piece of the puzzle.
Speaker 1: Every's going to plan to you punch in the face,
Speaker 1: all goes out the window.
Speaker 3: I'm constantly remembering and forgetting, and then we're forgetting this
Speaker 3: this this thing that I that I think I'm genius
Speaker 3: every time I remember it again.
Speaker 5: Is that?
Speaker 3: Is it like painting or like when I learned something new,
Speaker 3: I'm exactly the same. I'm like, I'm going to be
Speaker 3: so good when I when I sing or a paint
Speaker 3: or do pottery, and then you know, I talked to
Speaker 3: the to the teacher, the coach and say, yeah, I've
Speaker 3: been doing it since I was twelve years old, and
Speaker 3: I'm like fifty four thinking I'm going to be like you.
Speaker 3: And it's like, Ali, please take the expectation you have
Speaker 3: to if you want to put in the work and
Speaker 3: put in years, you might actually get to where she's at.
Speaker 3: But it's like taking that, as you were saying, the pressure,
Speaker 3: the experience of what I think it's going to be,
Speaker 3: just to be able to go, I'm going to start
Speaker 3: something new and I'm going to be really crap at
Speaker 3: it a first, And how cool is that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's totally fine. Okay, we're sucking at something. I
Speaker 2: suck at.
Speaker 3: It for a long time until I might actually get better,
Speaker 3: who knows, and I forget it all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I remember.
Speaker 4: You talked before about relaxing and how you're a master
Speaker 4: of relaxing master.
Speaker 5: I think I think relaxing is completely under rented.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's important because to.
Speaker 1: Set yourself up for it. You know. I found like,
Speaker 1: now we've got a dog and we can go to
Speaker 1: the beach and it's I found if I take my
Speaker 1: watch off and chuck my phone in the car with
Speaker 1: the watch, then I'm now I'm completely unconnect disconnected from
Speaker 1: the world and time, and it can only be in
Speaker 1: the moment. I can't communicate with anyone else other than
Speaker 1: the people on the beach. And I found that's a
Speaker 1: good way. Otherwise, like, oh, you get an email thinking
Speaker 1: about work, it's like the sun and the escarpment and
Speaker 1: the dog, and it's more important to take that time
Speaker 1: out and if you can't, then remove those distractions.
Speaker 4: Danielle, this the hustle culture and the grind. You're asking
Speaker 4: the question, is it really worth it to do the
Speaker 4: hustle and the grind? Is it time that we take
Speaker 4: a different approach to it?
Speaker 2: I think like the problem can be that when I
Speaker 2: say to people, you know, getting out of the hustle
Speaker 2: and grind, the flip side of the coin is doing
Speaker 2: nothing or just chilling or watching, you know, binge watching,
Speaker 2: or you know, like losing any of that sort of
Speaker 2: momentum or ambition. But I think that it's, as I
Speaker 2: said before, the energy with which you do stuff, so
Speaker 2: hustle and grind is that constant driving force success at all? Costs.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter that I'm exhausted or tired. I'm not
Speaker 2: listening to my body. I'm not paying attention to the
Speaker 2: red flags that i've you know, being waived because emotionally, physically, mentally,
Speaker 2: I'm under pressure, right And it's okay to have times.
Speaker 2: We have times where you're like, okay, I'm under the pump.
Speaker 2: I really need to knuckle down and get things done.
Speaker 2: But it's when we've got that sort of prolonged push
Speaker 2: for a really long time that the wheels start to
Speaker 2: fall off. So I think it's, you know, to the
Speaker 2: antidote to the hustle and grind is to have your ambition,
Speaker 2: know where you're going, and be able to do it
Speaker 2: with a sense of ease. It's the striving and the
Speaker 2: pushing and the hustling that's the problem, not the doing.
Speaker 2: So what that means in actuality is in your busy day,
Speaker 2: have moments of peace. I mean you said before Ali,
Speaker 2: it's just nice to sit there and do nothing, sit
Speaker 2: there in daydream and you don't have to do it
Speaker 2: for an hour. You can do it for five minutes,
Speaker 2: ten minutes. Bring your nervous system back to sort of
Speaker 2: a baseline. After each little burst of energy and allow
Speaker 2: yourself more space in the days, because we're just constantly
Speaker 2: cramming more and more doing into our days, and then
Speaker 2: our downtime is cramming more and more information into our
Speaker 2: faces because we've got that social device in our hands. Yeah,
Speaker 2: which I love. I love my phone. I'm not going
Speaker 2: to blaspheme the phone. But it's it's knowing that we
Speaker 2: can set ourselves up for holistic success, whole life success
Speaker 2: with just a few simple tweaks on what we're already doing,
Speaker 2: which is just stop cramming so much in all the time.
Speaker 3: Is that in your book? Do you tell us how
Speaker 3: to have the Chocolate Bar life?
Speaker 2: I do, Yes, I do, you know, So it's all
Speaker 2: about it's all about the balance of work, rest and play.
Speaker 2: So the Chocolate Bar life is is a play on
Speaker 2: the Mars Bar.
Speaker 1: Tell them about eight hundreds ha ha ha.
Speaker 2: I saw that on I know. I met with Mars
Speaker 2: recently because because of the Chocolate Bar life, I'm talking
Speaker 2: about this Mars Bar philosophy that I have and I
Speaker 2: met with Mars recently.
Speaker 5: And you a person like mister Wonka.
Speaker 2: So it's a family. Yes, they're going into their fifth
Speaker 2: generation of the Mars family. It is still a family
Speaker 2: run business. It is now down there. I think there
Speaker 2: was three kids and now it's down to the two
Speaker 2: of them. They sent me. I asked, you know, how
Speaker 2: about a bit of merch for my book launchers that
Speaker 2: are coming up, and I was thinking, you know, a
Speaker 2: couple one hundred eight hundred Mars bars landed and I
Speaker 2: got usually have seen the kids very excited faces. But then, hilariously,
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks ago, I was doing a keynote
Speaker 2: at the PK and Women in Packaging Awards and I
Speaker 2: was talking to to the VP actually of Ankor, who
Speaker 2: have done the new packaging for Mars write the new
Speaker 2: recycled paper packaging. Oh yeah, And he noted that in
Speaker 2: my keynote the image that I had just ripped from
Speaker 2: the Internet was the old packaging plastic wrapper and he
Speaker 2: mentioned it to me. So I sent him a cheeky
Speaker 2: message saying, hey, I'll do you a deal. Shoot me
Speaker 2: over an updated picture with the new packaging and I'll
Speaker 2: send you a book. And he thought, I said send
Speaker 2: me product. So he's sent me more Mars bars and
Speaker 2: more snickers. So now like if this gig doesn't. If
Speaker 2: this gig doesn't work out for me, I'm just going
Speaker 2: to open up a chocolate shop. Yeah, totally.
Speaker 3: You also wrote an article called the bucket list that
Speaker 3: saved my relationship.
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, you did go back through the archives.
Speaker 3: Yes, now, can you tell us how that came out?
Speaker 3: And I also want to hear from you Nick about this.
Speaker 3: Did you contribute to that article?
Speaker 1: I contributed, probably to the bucket list?
Speaker 5: Yeah, supplied the bucket.
Speaker 1: I'm quite happy to do the same thing over and
Speaker 1: over again. I like routine and the process. Daniel left
Speaker 1: after we've done it twice in a row. So I'm
Speaker 1: absolutely bored with this. My life sucks and we've got
Speaker 1: to do something else.
Speaker 5: Nice balance you too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like, okay, we'll get a list and
Speaker 1: write it all down all the things we can do
Speaker 1: so we never have to think about it on a
Speaker 1: weekend because it's like dinner time.
Speaker 2: You remember the article? Why I wrote the article?
Speaker 5: Though?
Speaker 2: He was talking about the time we broke.
Speaker 1: Up one that's another bucket.
Speaker 2: That's how the bucket list first came about, do you remember.
Speaker 2: So we were together for eight months maybe, and then
Speaker 2: we split for a little while. I was bored. I mean,
Speaker 2: there was a lot more to it. I was also
Speaker 2: going through a really messy breakup. Not a super messy breakup,
Speaker 2: but it was I felt messy internally separating their home
Speaker 2: and their kids and all that sort of stuff. I
Speaker 2: broke up with Nick. And then maybe twelve weeks or
Speaker 2: something later, maybe a bit less, he says it six weeks.
Speaker 2: I think it was a few more, but.
Speaker 4: I said it involved these I say again, so let
Speaker 4: me just get this straight. Second, you were having you
Speaker 4: broke up with Nick, but you're also dealing with the
Speaker 4: breakup prior to that you did, do you know you're
Speaker 4: dealing with two breakups?
Speaker 2: Well, kind of like with my ex, my first partner
Speaker 2: and I my first husband and I we had been
Speaker 2: separated for you know, eight or nine months, but there's
Speaker 2: still like it's protracted that kids, Yeah, it's protracted, and
Speaker 2: you know, the house and getting the new routine, and
Speaker 2: then there's like dealing with that other person, Like that's
Speaker 2: a whole that's a whole thing, right, that's that is
Speaker 2: a whole energy onto its own, and so trying to
Speaker 2: sort of navigate that and keep my kids happy and healthy,
Speaker 2: paying a mortgage while a freelancer that I had a
Speaker 2: bit of stress going on. So there was that, and
Speaker 2: there was trying to like navigate a new relationship. And
Speaker 2: I mean I think emotionally I probably wasn't ready. I
Speaker 2: did go from one to the other like really quickly,
Speaker 2: so I think, yeah, probably wasn't quite in a great
Speaker 2: emotional position to commit.
Speaker 5: Now you've broken up with Nick, Yeah, eight weeks.
Speaker 2: Later, yeah, eight weeks later. Well, I had bought the
Speaker 2: kids this big, cubby house on gum Tree because I
Speaker 2: was broke. It was Christmas and the guy said, have
Speaker 2: you got a car big enough to pick it up?
Speaker 2: And I was like how big can it be? I've
Speaker 2: got a station wagon and he was like no, no,
Speaker 2: I'll bring it over in my ute. So he like
Speaker 2: he dismantled this thing over seriously serious, true floors. It
Speaker 2: had climbing thing, climbing net and like a yeah. It
Speaker 2: was an epic And when I got there, I was like,
Speaker 2: oh shit, like I can't do this. This is not
Speaker 2: a solo person job. And I didn't have anyone to ask,
Speaker 2: so I was like, oh, favor, do you think you
Speaker 2: could come over and help, you know, while the kids
Speaker 2: are away, we'll get it up a couple of days
Speaker 2: before Christmas, and he came in here as he was
Speaker 2: digging those holes, because that's what it required.
Speaker 5: With the picks going in there, He's grunting.
Speaker 4: And every time as you just went, oh what am
Speaker 4: I doing?
Speaker 2: Do you know? Pretty much, except it wasn't quite It
Speaker 2: wasn't as like a pheromone driven things of course, slamming
Speaker 2: it down quick. No, it was more look at the
Speaker 2: lengths that this guy will go to, look at look
Speaker 2: at his commitment, because those holes really they really did
Speaker 2: require big, big holes to be dug. And yeah, I
Speaker 2: just it was that again, that sort of steadiness in him.
Speaker 2: So we got back together after the thing. But I decide,
Speaker 2: I said, I'm bored. We're like this married couple, so
Speaker 2: early in our relationship, we're doing the same things we
Speaker 2: can on the weekend. We're gonna do this, we're gonna
Speaker 2: do that, We're gonna do this. It is boring. Let's
Speaker 2: create some variety and ride a bucket list of things
Speaker 2: to do, right, And it's not necessarily you know, a
Speaker 2: bucket list of things to do before you die, but
Speaker 2: things to do before I die of boredom because we
Speaker 2: do the same shit every weekend. So we created two lists,
Speaker 2: one which was like a family list, one we can
Speaker 2: do with the kids, and one we could do with
Speaker 2: each other. And it wasn't you know, some of it
Speaker 2: was expensive, right, go hot air ballooning, but some of
Speaker 2: it was like, explore different beaches that we haven't been
Speaker 2: to within an x radius. You know, it's just getting
Speaker 2: out of the hun drum, you know, exploring new things.
Speaker 2: But the brain loves my brain, my little ADHD brain
Speaker 2: loves variety. So for us, it was being able to
Speaker 2: have this sort of collection of things that we could
Speaker 2: just dip our hand into and be like, what are
Speaker 2: we doing this weekend? Right, Okay, let's get let's get
Speaker 2: amongst it. So yeah, that that definitely saved our relationship.
Speaker 2: I will have to admit, I think we're getting it.
Speaker 2: We've become a little bit complacent again. But also we're
Speaker 2: ten years older and I don't mind a bucket list.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the bigger house.
Speaker 3: I actually really really love that idea, Like we've been
Speaker 3: married for thirty four together for thirty four years.
Speaker 2: And that's such a huge thing like that it is. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you guys are like the poster.
Speaker 5: Straight. It's a great idea. So it'll be a bucket
Speaker 5: list to play.
Speaker 3: Golf kind of this is going to be a great
Speaker 3: bucket list. Yeah, yeah, but I love the idea, like
Speaker 3: you could have your, yeah, your fantasy bucket list, which
Speaker 3: is like travel Europe or like you said, let's go
Speaker 3: visit other beaches, let's go have Lebanese food, you know,
Speaker 3: down the coast somewhere. I mean, just stuff that.
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, I love what you said that our brains
Speaker 5: love new things.
Speaker 4: And friends of mine did they swam in every ocean
Speaker 4: pool in New South Wales.
Speaker 5: They did that. That's a great thing to do.
Speaker 4: They drove down south and they go and hit they
Speaker 4: go back to all the places and they just went
Speaker 4: where are all the ocean pools? Took photographs of all
Speaker 4: the ocean pools in New South Wales. And because we
Speaker 4: have their heaps of.
Speaker 2: So many, there's five just where we are right one
Speaker 2: of them.
Speaker 3: Nick, can you recall I know this is sort of
Speaker 3: a big question, but can you recall a specific moment
Speaker 3: or experience in your relationship with Danielle that really strengthened
Speaker 3: your bond or changed like the course of your marriage.
Speaker 3: Was there one experience that you remember.
Speaker 1: So it's a rolling series of things like it was
Speaker 1: obviously with getting back together than meeting the kids. So
Speaker 1: that's a moment. But then to New Zealand and was
Speaker 1: there when Richard Daniel was nursing and he passed away,
Speaker 1: and being there in just critical moments. Obviously getting married
Speaker 1: in New York was fun.
Speaker 2: Oh that's a good story.
Speaker 1: I was working in New York at the time, on
Speaker 1: and off. So this last stint was like four weeks,
Speaker 1: and I've been doing it for six months. Ago over
Speaker 1: two weeks, come back for two weeks, and then it
Speaker 1: was getting really tiresome, and I said to my bosses today,
Speaker 1: can I I'm going for four weeks. The family's getting
Speaker 1: a bit upset with this, so I want to bring
Speaker 1: Danielle over. Can the company stump up for some so
Speaker 1: for accommodation. So they paid the accommodation and gave us
Speaker 1: like two hundred fifty dollars a day stipe end, which
Speaker 1: Danielle spent all of it. And I was a work
Speaker 1: and she's just tripping around Manhattan about because.
Speaker 2: But we were at a bar in it somewhere in
Speaker 2: missus Palmer's in Sydney and marriage hadn't really been on
Speaker 2: the cards for us. We've been together for probably four years,
Speaker 2: maybe five, and Nick just said, out of the blue.
Speaker 2: The New York trip was planning, and Nick said, out
Speaker 2: of the blue, wouldn't it be cool if we eloped
Speaker 2: in Central Park? And I was like, yeah, it would
Speaker 2: be she would be Yeah, it would be super cool.
Speaker 2: And I said, don't think that that is a proposal, buddy,
Speaker 2: Like that is not That is not going to cut it.
Speaker 2: And he proposed the next day on the beach and
Speaker 2: that was rad. That was so fun. You get a
Speaker 2: fancy dress, organize a photographer, get the kids all frocked up,
Speaker 2: and then send photos back to our family, going.
Speaker 3: So fru Did you take the kids to New York?
Speaker 1: On?
Speaker 5: Which beach were you? When?
Speaker 1: Was raand Game? Actually sailing club?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know exactly where that is. Yeah, and then
Speaker 3: and then Elope in New York. It's so fun.
Speaker 1: Is my mum's sagrin?
Speaker 2: Did you do something he's never forgiven us?
Speaker 1: I guess we did? We have another ceremony? And where
Speaker 1: was it?
Speaker 5: Guy Mere at the Yeah Gallery?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Nice?
Speaker 3: When did you know that you wanted to that Danielle
Speaker 3: was the one for you that you wanted to pop
Speaker 3: the question.
Speaker 1: It's not something over that. They've really crossed my mind
Speaker 1: at popping the quest and always I wanted to be
Speaker 1: with her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there was she didn't see himself as the
Speaker 2: marrying kind.
Speaker 5: No, no, no no.
Speaker 1: But Daniel had sort of dropped it in conversation. It's
Speaker 1: been like three four years, you know, and it's like
Speaker 1: she's talking about marriage. So I was, and then they
Speaker 1: came up and I was like, oh, this is a
Speaker 1: great opportunity. I can really get some brandie points here.
Speaker 1: So New York women take advantage of it, right. So
Speaker 1: the photos we have from the photographer incredible. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: park amazing. And then we went to Nobu for dinner
Speaker 1: after he was there. Yeah, it was on fifty seventh Street,
Speaker 1: which they called Billionaires the high rises. Then felt financially violated.
Speaker 6: After that, that was the honeymoon money spent.
Speaker 2: We had two minutes.
Speaker 5: I got one little piece of that meso.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the food was great, and then we stopped back
Speaker 1: in Hawaii for like ten the nights in Kawaii the honeymoon,
Speaker 1: so we had.
Speaker 3: Our honeymoon was unfortunately and natural disaster that happened two
Speaker 3: days after we got there, and we were the quest
Speaker 3: to our hotel for three or four days, couldn't leave.
Speaker 5: It was.
Speaker 3: Yeah, these days we'd be like, no, four days. How
Speaker 3: was the transition to becoming a step dad for you?
Speaker 1: It hasn't been without a challenges. Sure, Yeah, I come
Speaker 1: from a split family and under stepdad my whole life
Speaker 1: as well. And so I look back at and just
Speaker 1: the way he had just got a shoulder some of
Speaker 1: the responsibility and try just do your best to be
Speaker 1: a stable like for me, like being a rock, you know,
Speaker 1: a life raft. Yeah, like that for Danielle. But yeah,
Speaker 1: well straightened, not straight and narrow, but like this is
Speaker 1: wrong and this is right, you know. And sometimes my
Speaker 1: what I've seen is when you call it straight and
Speaker 1: narrow road, the path to walk is somewhat a bit
Speaker 1: too straight and narrow.
Speaker 2: Sometimes when parenting styles differ, yeah, they do. Yeah, And
Speaker 2: I think it's it's doubly hard for Nick as well,
Speaker 2: because our parenting styles differ. And they're my kids, yes,
Speaker 2: so I don't It's not like I would ever pull
Speaker 2: rank and be like, well, they're my.
Speaker 5: Kids, you need to say that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just kind of there. There is always just
Speaker 2: is knowing, even with the kids. It's and that in
Speaker 2: itself is a problem. You know, sometimes I'm not I
Speaker 2: don't back Nick enough, and the kids know that. Sometimes
Speaker 2: Nick I think is not as flexible, probably flexible or
Speaker 2: maybe even as like warm as he would be if
Speaker 2: they were his biological kids, even though he's been with
Speaker 2: them since they were two and four.
Speaker 5: Understandable, there is a.
Speaker 2: Different dynamic there, really is. So it is a it
Speaker 2: is a sort of constant conversation and negotiation. But we're
Speaker 2: all good at we're all good at communicating, I think.
Speaker 4: Yet, So that's what What are some strategies there for
Speaker 4: communicating for one with the kids and also for you
Speaker 4: two as in a relationship.
Speaker 1: The strategy really is it's just open and if we
Speaker 1: need to, like say, call the time and get everyone
Speaker 1: to sit down and make a point at the dinner table,
Speaker 1: for instance, we can do those. We don't have to
Speaker 1: do that often. Daniel and very open communicators, so evens
Speaker 1: I love it. Just wake up first thing in the morning,
Speaker 1: out we're talking about parenting. Yes, let me wake up first.
Speaker 2: I haven't had a coffee.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't think we sit like have a
Speaker 1: strategic session and how we're going to parent kids. This way,
Speaker 1: the kids are happy and doing well at school. You know,
Speaker 1: no one's breaking the law yet, so you know, we
Speaker 1: don't have any real major struggles, I think in terms
Speaker 1: of that other than do the washing picture of washing
Speaker 1: in the washing basketfold you're washing that the normal stuff
Speaker 1: that everyone has an issue with, and then getting the
Speaker 1: assass and the talk back.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Every now and then we'll have a flurry, so we'll
Speaker 2: butt heads as a family over something multiple times, and
Speaker 2: then Nick will be like, what we're doing isn't working.
Speaker 2: Let's do whatever, like a parenting course, let's read this
Speaker 2: book whatever, and yeah, and we'll we'll start something, learn
Speaker 2: one thing from it, try for a minute, get distracted,
Speaker 2: go back to our old ways, and then yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: But every now and then we're like, right, we're gonna
Speaker 2: we're going to change up how we're doing things. Ultimately,
Speaker 2: I think we're doing okay, right that the kids are
Speaker 2: doing good. We're doing good. Nobody's too wayward. It would
Speaker 2: be good if they could put their socks and stuff away, though,
Speaker 2: like they just.
Speaker 3: The biological kids for both of us, and they still
Speaker 3: don't put their socks away. So that's that's certainly, that's
Speaker 3: the universal.
Speaker 1: System on the bed.
Speaker 2: For some reason, the cat loves to pee on the
Speaker 2: wet towels on the floor. So I'm like, this is
Speaker 2: this is what happens kids. If you leave your wet
Speaker 2: towel on the floor, the cat peas on it.
Speaker 1: They need to learn along the way, you know.
Speaker 3: And we've had many a couple with who you know,
Speaker 3: one or the others become a step parent, and not
Speaker 3: a single one is said smooth silk, not a single one.
Speaker 3: It's all been a work in progress, really hard at
Speaker 3: the start. Good now, but like sore therapist did that,
Speaker 3: did a psychogy, I mean, like every single one, right,
Speaker 3: It's always been like yeah, it's been tricky at times,
Speaker 3: and I think from what you were saying, you know,
Speaker 3: just finding that balance of particularly with the rules and
Speaker 3: the parenting, it's it's a fine line to walk.
Speaker 4: It's that thing where on Instagram everything looks flashy and fabulous,
Speaker 4: and that's what we want to look at, you know,
Speaker 4: we don't really want to look at the gritty stuff.
Speaker 4: But it's good to know that we're all going, we're
Speaker 4: all navigating difficulty. It's challenging and it's sometimes really hard, so.
Speaker 1: Hard your kids it's not just us.
Speaker 5: We do a two minute shower. We'll ask you to
Speaker 5: keep your answers short.
Speaker 4: Sure, and it's been raining a lot where we're not
Speaker 4: in to so much water conservation. We have a lot
Speaker 4: of it. His first question, what about your relationship makes
Speaker 4: you feel the most grateful?
Speaker 1: Daniel's very caring and nurturing, and I know that actually
Speaker 1: always got my back.
Speaker 2: I would say humor, and he listens and tries like
Speaker 2: I want to expand on that, but it's a short
Speaker 2: answer only you know, like I know that it sounds
Speaker 2: really bad, but like when I when I he tries
Speaker 2: so hard when I say something to you, we communicate
Speaker 2: and I'm like, this is this is how I'm feeling,
Speaker 2: this is what's happening. He listens, and then he tries
Speaker 2: to not make me feel that. Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 3: What the world needs more of is well listening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say that, and probably empathy. I'm
Speaker 1: coming from a point of lack of.
Speaker 4: So, yeah, what does your perfect day look like?
Speaker 1: That's easy. Get up, go to the beach with the dog,
Speaker 1: come back, workout, chill in the pool, do some work,
Speaker 1: you know, barbecue preferably steak, and then bed.
Speaker 2: He's a simple man. He's a simpful man.
Speaker 5: Nice to keep things simple.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like so for me, the days that I
Speaker 2: think it's a perfect day is when I've had all
Speaker 2: of the different things satisfied. So I will have like
Speaker 2: a sleep in, which is like seven o'clock sleep in,
Speaker 2: walk at the beach, maybe a pastry on the beach,
Speaker 2: then go and do something like go for a hike,
Speaker 2: come and do some art, then spend some time with
Speaker 2: some friends, and bed by nine o'clock. Like, oh, that's
Speaker 2: so good, so old.
Speaker 3: Like our last question, one word to describe each other?
Speaker 5: Fun, one word.
Speaker 2: I've got so many going through my brain. Reliable.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's awesome.
Speaker 2: What's your one word? What would you what? What? This
Speaker 2: is a good one. That's one where you would used
Speaker 2: to just gobe each other.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no one's ever turned the table on us.
Speaker 2: Sorry about that, guys, dry, I couldn't see that.
Speaker 3: I was like, actually I felt the same thing.
Speaker 1: Mind nice, that's a good one.
Speaker 3: I really related when you were saying about nick about
Speaker 3: about trying hard.
Speaker 2: And it's not the right thing to try hard to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's really like the same thing. He listens and
Speaker 3: then he really wants to. He really loves to make
Speaker 3: me happy. So I don't know what that word is,
Speaker 3: but I was thinking conscientious. But that's but yeah, you
Speaker 3: like to.
Speaker 4: Like, we have a dog called Curly who who is
Speaker 4: just he tries really hard.
Speaker 5: He's he just tries hard.
Speaker 1: To be a good dog and he just messes up.
Speaker 5: He'll nip someone's heel on a wall, like.
Speaker 3: Because anxiety gets the better and.
Speaker 4: We're all gonna die and Curly will die, but on
Speaker 4: stone it will be like, good boy, Curl, you tried
Speaker 4: really hard. I do feel a bit.
Speaker 2: Like, have you just written your own epitaphed really hard?
Speaker 4: You've written your own book, Daniel Collie The Chocolate Bar Life.
Speaker 5: It's out now in stores. Y.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's chopped full of goodness, How to live, How
Speaker 3: to live a Chocolate Bar Life.
Speaker 5: I think it's awesome, sweet, fantastic. Thank you for being
Speaker 5: with us in Daniel and Nick.
Speaker 2: How great was that?
Speaker 3: We've just been left with a bunch of the Mars
Speaker 3: bars that that Danielle was given And there's a little
Speaker 3: tag on the end with a QR code. I'm like,
Speaker 3: what's the QR code? So the QR code takes us
Speaker 3: to her website, and there's actually a program you can
Speaker 3: do related to the chocolate bar life, so how you
Speaker 3: can live the chocolate bar life. So you can actually
Speaker 3: get on board and not only read the book, but
Speaker 3: do an actual program to help you lead that kind
Speaker 3: of a life as well.
Speaker 5: And we get to enjoy a chocolate bar on my mouth. Lost.
Speaker 3: No, I was thinking how much I wanted a Mars
Speaker 3: bar when we were talking about them, And I.
Speaker 4: Imagine our listeners sitting there right now again, bloody baggery,
Speaker 4: I'm pulling over.
Speaker 5: Three Mars bars.
Speaker 3: In the new recycle, the new packaging. That's right, Well,
Speaker 3: that was really really lovely. Nick nick, nick, I know
Speaker 3: so much wisdom. So still, yes, come salt the earth,
Speaker 3: as they say.
Speaker 4: Kept it simple. I love that he set up. I
Speaker 4: leave my watch and my phone in the car and
Speaker 4: go head down to the beach.
Speaker 5: Yes with the dog school old school man.
Speaker 3: It's so shouldn't be old school, but it is, unfortunately.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but just uncontactable the way you used to be
Speaker 5: on an aeroplane. Yeah you're not. Yeah, that's right, you know,
Speaker 5: it's it's just it's just.
Speaker 4: Lovely to give yourself that piece and time. The other thing,
Speaker 4: I really liked what Daniel was talking about was asking
Speaker 4: that question. I wonder, I being curious about I wonder
Speaker 4: what woul happened if we do this, I wonder what
Speaker 4: would you know and be open to that scenario rather
Speaker 4: than just follow the same old, same old.
Speaker 3: And I love that that's just a little It's just
Speaker 3: like a little tool that's so easy to do.
Speaker 5: Yes, you know.
Speaker 3: I mean, we're not changing the world and our lives
Speaker 3: and giving up everything. It's like just adding one little
Speaker 3: question in here or a little change there. It's just
Speaker 3: those bite sized steps that can actually get you out
Speaker 3: of that grind.
Speaker 5: Bite size chocolate watering. Right, we better go byite side.
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening everyone. I hope you enjoy and make
Speaker 3: sure you check out the Chocolate Bar Live