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Speaker 1: Things moved from friendly to a little bit more friendly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember the exact text where things went from

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Speaker 2: friendly to a little bit more friendly, and I'm not

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Speaker 2: ashamed to say it was me.

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Speaker 3: Do you remember the.

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Speaker 2: Article why I wrote the articllo? He was talking about

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Speaker 2: the time we broke up that one.

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Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to separate bathrooms. We would like to

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Speaker 4: acknowledge the Gadigor people of the urination, the traditional custodians

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Speaker 4: of this land, and pay our respects to the elders,

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Speaker 4: both past and present. We are Ali and cam Dado,

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Speaker 4: We Droy We I stole your name.

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Speaker 5: You feel like you want to own the show today.

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Speaker 5: I own the potty today. No, okay, well let's go.

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Speaker 5: I just need to know while we set it up.

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Speaker 3: No, I just thought.

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Speaker 4: I just thought I'd do something completely wild and crazy.

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Speaker 6: Was how good? It's just why it's a whole new thing.

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Speaker 3: Whole new thing.

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Speaker 6: After two hundred episodes, we're doing something.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I said we instead of I.

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Speaker 6: You claimed me.

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Speaker 3: Small bite sized pieces.

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Speaker 6: I'm sexy. Actually you claimed me. Do you ever feel stuck?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 6: You so? You do get stuck in life?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely?

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Speaker 6: What do you do aside from being stuck?

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Speaker 4: I think the first thing is to acknowledge that I

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Speaker 4: feel stuck. I think that's the first thing. To just

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Speaker 4: go why do I feel so yucky or awful? And go, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I'm feeling really stuck, and then keep asking questions why

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Speaker 4: do I feel stuck? What's going on? Am I repeating something?

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Speaker 4: And then what do I what would make me feel unstuck?

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Speaker 4: Oh if I just went for a walk, and or

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Speaker 4: if I went for a dance. Sometimes dancing really helps

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Speaker 4: me feel unstuck a.

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Speaker 3: Bit of it.

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Speaker 6: It's a really good answer. Oh great, thanks?

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Speaker 3: How about you?

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Speaker 4: How do you get unstuck if you're stuck?

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Speaker 5: Well, I think the first thing, yes, acknowledged, jeez, I

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Speaker 5: feel stuck. And then maybe just sit in it for

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Speaker 5: a while, allow myself to feel it, and go all right,

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Speaker 5: is this what I want to be?

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Speaker 6: Where I want to be?

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Speaker 5: And then it usually starts with fresh air, fresh air

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Speaker 5: and salt water something, but just move and just go okay,

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Speaker 5: one step, another step, another step, and just do it

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Speaker 5: for half an hour, whatever it is, and then see

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Speaker 5: what again, staying curious to what's happening. And then it's

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Speaker 5: usually when I'm coming returning to the car or walking

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Speaker 5: off the beach or something. Afterwards, I've done it and

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Speaker 5: I've got nothing happened. And then if I pay attention

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Speaker 5: to the last five minutes of that moment of going

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Speaker 5: out and doing something, invariably the answer to whatever I'm

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Speaker 5: looking for, or you know, some kind of a response

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Speaker 5: or something like that happens. And so I always pay

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Speaker 5: attention to the last five or ten minutes of that

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Speaker 5: moment when I take myself off for a bit of

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Speaker 5: a breather.

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Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, cool.

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Speaker 5: We're in the middle of winter here in Australia. I

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Speaker 5: know we've got overseas listeners there in the heat of summer.

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Speaker 6: We're in the cool of winter.

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Speaker 5: A lot of us turn inwards in winter. We hibernate,

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Speaker 5: ruminate about our lives. So we thought it'd be a

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Speaker 5: great time to chat with author daniel Collie.

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Speaker 4: Danielle is an integrative life coach, speaker, event facilitator and writer.

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Speaker 4: Now for the past five years, she's been helping people

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Speaker 4: who are feeling stuck, what crazy we just made that

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Speaker 4: segue and feeling dissatisfied with their lives and help them

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Speaker 4: to reach their full potential.

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Speaker 5: Danielle also delivers leadership workshops for well known brands that

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Speaker 5: include Sony Pictures, forty five, Fitness, The Leadership Institute and

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Speaker 5: Transport of New South Wales. She's got a new book

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Speaker 5: coming out. We can chat about that, and she's bringing

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Speaker 5: in her partner Nick here. We know nothing about correct

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Speaker 5: not as scaic as they say, so we're going to

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Speaker 5: mind them for their story about how they navigate their relationship.

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Speaker 6: We might learn something about what they know, no doubt.

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Speaker 4: Please welcome daniel Collie and Nick Denham.

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Speaker 5: Welcome Danielle and Nick to the bathroom. How you guys,

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Speaker 5: feeling good?

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Speaker 3: Good? Thank you? Excited to be here?

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Speaker 6: Nick? Are you excited to be here?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I'm a little excited.

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Speaker 6: This is Nick's first podcast listener.

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Speaker 5: It's very exciting. Hey, we are our relationship podcast. Just

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Speaker 5: bring us up to speed with who you are, each

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Speaker 5: of you and how long you been together, that sort

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Speaker 5: of stuff, just in a nutshell, just so we're all

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Speaker 5: on the same page.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we've been together for well this time ten years,

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Speaker 2: but we have history. We were friends with benefits for

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Speaker 2: a while about twenty years ago, and we had a

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Speaker 2: little bit of on again, off again kind of stuff,

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Speaker 2: and then I went away and got married and had

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Speaker 2: a couple of kids, got a mortgage, all of that,

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Speaker 2: and we stayed in touch loosely.

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Speaker 4: Yep.

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Speaker 2: And then just as my marriage was ending, my first

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Speaker 2: marriage was ending, Nick sent me an email and said,

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Speaker 2: would you like to come to my fortieth birthday with you?

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Speaker 2: And your husband? Was the invitation? And I said, well,

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Speaker 2: I will, but he won't.

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Speaker 3: And that's pretty might.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's yeah.

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Speaker 4: Were you with someone at the time for your fortieth

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Speaker 4: Have you been married before?

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Speaker 1: I have not.

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Speaker 4: Wow, you've always held a flame for Dannie out Okay,

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Speaker 4: so down into the juicy stuff. So let's take us

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Speaker 4: back twenty years ago you were. This was friends with

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Speaker 4: benefits time.

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Speaker 1: A little bit before then, I was working in a

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Speaker 1: restaurant with He was a maid of mine, which is Preston,

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Speaker 1: her boyfriend, and Daniel was working in a restaurant at

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Speaker 1: the same time for my girlfriend at the time was

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Speaker 1: her manager. And that's how we met. Okay, Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: then we kept stayed in touch. There's a few things

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Speaker 1: went sideways with Preston, but I stayed in touch over

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Speaker 1: the years, and things moved from friendly to a little

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Speaker 1: bit more friendly.

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Speaker 2: I remember the exact text where things went from friendly

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Speaker 2: to a little bit more friendly. And I'm not ashamed

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Speaker 2: to say it was me.

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Speaker 1: It was me who did it.

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Speaker 6: What did the text say?

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Speaker 2: I can't remember it because we were always very platonic

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Speaker 2: and friendly and nice and it was just all above board.

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Speaker 3: And I remember the day I was.

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Speaker 6: Like, oh, should I do it?

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Speaker 2: Should I should I start the flirt? And I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to go for it, and I did.

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Speaker 3: It was quite well received.

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Speaker 4: So what was that about each other that you really

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Speaker 4: always remembered?

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Speaker 3: What was it?

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Speaker 1: Like? A cheekiness gives me heaps with jabs in the

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Speaker 1: rigs and that hasn't changed. And so we always have

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Speaker 1: a laugh. And so my best friends, I've going to

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Speaker 1: hang out and given and up on the bed in

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Speaker 1: an afternoon and end up having a giggle. So that

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Speaker 1: hasn't changed in twenty years. So that's the thing that's persistent.

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Speaker 3: There's a real ease.

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Speaker 2: There's a real ease in our relationship, even when there

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Speaker 2: are tough moments like we don't we don't fight, we

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Speaker 2: don't blow up. I've had a lot of really sort

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Speaker 2: of volatile relationships or combative relationships whereas we can communicate

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Speaker 2: really really easily.

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Speaker 3: With each other.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, that humor that it's always always ever present

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Speaker 2: humor inappropriate and you are.

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Speaker 6: Very much about play.

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Speaker 4: That's something that you're a huge proponent of in life

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Speaker 4: and probably in relationships. Yeah, is that what's a huge

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Speaker 4: part of your relationship now?

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Speaker 2: I'd love to say yes, Allie, I really would, But

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Speaker 2: we get in the grind like everybody else, you know

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Speaker 2: that that Yeah, that sort of day to day with

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Speaker 2: you know, kids at school and and to businesses and

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Speaker 2: you know, the day to day definitely becomes quite monotonous.

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Speaker 2: So I think I have a like a big air

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Speaker 2: of spontaneity. I do like to get out and about

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Speaker 2: and do lots of stuff on the weekend. So I'd

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Speaker 2: say I do drive, variety and playe.

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Speaker 6: Do you like shiny things a bit like that too?

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Speaker 3: Things?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I attracted easily what that?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I do.

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Speaker 2: But I also like, I feel like if I'm not

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Speaker 2: doing if I'm not doing stuff, then I'm kind of

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Speaker 2: wasting time, which is you know, I think a really

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Speaker 2: big testament to society. Actually I'm not I know I'm

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Speaker 2: not alone on that because I you know, work with

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Speaker 2: people in my coaching business all the time who feel

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Speaker 2: that same sort of thing like, so be able to

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Speaker 2: have I think it's the it's the combo of play

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Speaker 2: and of course res being able to have the downtime.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: I'm more of the resting type with you.

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Speaker 4: I love the rest, the quiet. Cam's the busy bet

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Speaker 4: it has trouble just sitting down and doing nothing unless

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Speaker 4: football's on.

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Speaker 1: Sure, well that's not sitting down and doing nothing.

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Speaker 6: That's getting internally hot.

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Speaker 5: I was thinking this morning about that great quote that

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Speaker 5: Mike Tyson said.

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Speaker 6: I'd love to drill down and where that came from.

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Speaker 5: But you know, everyone has a plan until you get

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Speaker 5: punched in the face, right, And then I was thinking

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Speaker 5: Bob Dylan, he sings about the hard rains going to fall.

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Speaker 5: We all deal with life's ups and downs. I reckon

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Speaker 5: success is how you bounce back from that. You got fired,

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Speaker 5: Danny l from a big job, and that's when things changed?

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Speaker 6: Is that? If I got that right?

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Speaker 5: So, how did you bounce back from tell us a

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Speaker 5: little bit about that big job and Nick were you

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Speaker 5: and the picture as well during that time? Okay, great,

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Speaker 5: so can you can both sort of give.

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Speaker 2: You So I had been in the grinder for a

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Speaker 2: while before that job came along.

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Speaker 6: What's the grinder?

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Speaker 2: What do you mean grinder on the treadmill? You know,

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Speaker 2: I really like hammering hard to survive, always hustling, living

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Speaker 2: on adrenaline and cortisol. I was a freelance writer. I

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Speaker 2: was a solo mum, so Nick was on the scene,

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Speaker 2: but we weren't living together and we were seeing each

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Speaker 2: other every second weekend at that stage, which is all

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Speaker 2: very romantic, but I was constantly sort of stressed about

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Speaker 2: survival for myself and the kids. So that job offered

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Speaker 2: me a sense of stability because it was working in

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Speaker 2: a magazine. It was just a few days a week,

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Speaker 2: and it gave me, I thought credibility because I was

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Speaker 2: I had been freelancing as a writer, and I felt

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Speaker 2: like an impostor and like I was going to get

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Speaker 2: found out at any moment.

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Speaker 6: So the job was like a validation.

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Speaker 2: The job was absolutely my identity had become really wrapped

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Speaker 2: up in that job. So when I lost the job,

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Speaker 2: I really questioned my self worth. My self esteem really

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Speaker 2: felled out. The way that the firing was handled was

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Speaker 2: really bad as well, because there was no communication around it.

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Speaker 3: I was just told to go home.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I got ghost Yeah, I go home and wait

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Speaker 2: further news, And three weeks later I was still trying

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Speaker 2: to find out from people what was happening. I don't

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Speaker 2: want it to be a beat up on the publication

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Speaker 2: because they they went through some major changes, you know,

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Speaker 2: there were changes in management. Like for whatever reason it happened, right,

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Speaker 2: it was my reaction to it that has has been

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Speaker 2: a point of interest for me to see what I

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Speaker 2: made it mean. I made it mean that I suck

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Speaker 2: so having to ago or having to get myself from

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Speaker 2: the place of feeling like I had nothing to offer

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Speaker 2: and I was dispensable. It was very hard for me

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Speaker 2: then to get back on the freelance kind of thing

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Speaker 2: to have because it takes a lot of as you

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Speaker 2: both would know, it takes a lot of energy to

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Speaker 2: be putting yourself out there all the time, you know,

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Speaker 2: coming up with the ideas, pitching to editors, and if

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Speaker 2: you're coming from a space of self esteem deficit, it's

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Speaker 2: really Yeah, it's so hard and fear exactly. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 2: so hard to have the pump required. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 2: think I did bounce back. I wouldn't say I bounced back.

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Speaker 3: It was more of a like it's.

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Speaker 2: Crawling, I'm bleeding stumps. I was still sort of pitching,

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Speaker 2: feeling really bad, hoping I could get things going again,

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Speaker 2: and I decided that I would take a little bit

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Speaker 2: of time off to recalibrate. And that's when I got

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Speaker 2: a call from my dad and my dad actually had

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Speaker 2: cancer and he had been given only months to live.

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Speaker 2: So I decided to use my hiatus to go and

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Speaker 2: spend some time with him and see, if you know,

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Speaker 2: I had an epiphany. I had this idea actually to

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Speaker 2: create a well being hub, like to repatriate all of

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Speaker 2: my old health and wellbeing articles because I wrote so

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Speaker 2: much in that space health wellbeing relationships. Dad done hours

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Speaker 2: of research with you know, so many different experts. So

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Speaker 2: I thought, if I take all of that information and

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Speaker 2: create some kind of hub to help people who were

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Speaker 2: feeling like me to feel better, right, And I didn't

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Speaker 2: have any real like structural idea around it. I just

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Speaker 2: thought I could. This is something that I could do.

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Speaker 2: So I thought that while I was with my dad

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Speaker 2: in New Zealand, IO, I'd build this you know, new platform.

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Speaker 2: And it didn't happen. I didn't, Yeah, it didn't happen.

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Speaker 2: I realized while I was there. I needed to just

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Speaker 2: be there, and Dad sort of died within a month

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Speaker 2: of me being there. I packed the kids up, we

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Speaker 2: went to his little remote place in the Bay of Islands,

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Speaker 2: and I was fortunate enough to be able to walk

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Speaker 2: him through that experience and be with him by his side,

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Speaker 2: and that like, that's when I really that's when I really.

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Speaker 3: Plunged after that sort of that.

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Speaker 2: Experience of profound beauty but also deep grief. I really, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I was pretty I was pretty lost, wasn't obey. I

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Speaker 2: spent a bit of time crying on the couch a

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Speaker 2: few months, I would.

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Speaker 4: Say, I mean, that's that's a huge double whammy. And

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Speaker 4: as you said, you know, your identity has just been stripped.

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Speaker 4: You've lost the job, and now to lose a parent,

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Speaker 4: you know, and such a I mean, that's a month

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Speaker 4: is not long. No, when you look back on that time, now,

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Speaker 4: do you see it as it had to happen in

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Speaker 4: that way for you to be who you are?

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Speaker 3: One hundred percent.

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Speaker 2: I even think that the entire journey because my father

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Speaker 2: and I had a complicated relationship. He wasn't around in

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Speaker 2: my youth. He lived on a yacht and started around

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Speaker 2: the world, which is a great adventure for a man.

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Speaker 2: But that was in the era before mobile phones and technology,

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Speaker 2: you know, So he was gone for a lot of

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Speaker 2: my childhood, and we became good friends in my twenties.

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Speaker 2: So he was never a parental influence so much as

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Speaker 2: a man who I always loved, and he was on

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Speaker 2: the periphery of my life, and then he became a

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Speaker 2: very strong support, you know, in my twenties and throughout

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Speaker 2: my life it just got stronger. Our friendship got a

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Speaker 2: lot stronger.

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Speaker 3: So for me, it was.

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Speaker 2: Like recognizing that the entire journey that we'd had together

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Speaker 2: when he wasn't there my childhood, that formed a lot

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Speaker 2: of beliefs that I had about myself and all of

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Speaker 2: those different things, you know, because there's been a series

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Speaker 2: of terrible choices in boyfriends and self esteem issues and

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Speaker 2: eating disorders and all of that sort of stuff that's

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Speaker 2: all sort of so tightly wrapped up with those sort

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Speaker 2: of parental relationships and things like that. So for me,

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Speaker 2: I realized that every step of our life together was

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Speaker 2: I call it a sacred contract. I think that Dad

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Speaker 2: had to be that guy so that I could become

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Speaker 2: this woman.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, beautiful, Wow, And Nick where you've watched your

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Speaker 4: I guess girlfriend at the time marriede.

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Speaker 3: It like just fall into the pit.

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Speaker 4: How were you with all that?

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Speaker 1: It's hard because we're sitting on that we're basically sitting

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Speaker 1: on the sideline, and you can Daniel would share with

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Speaker 1: me or in the thoughts you can see the story

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Speaker 1: going on in ahead. But i'd seen her from when

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Speaker 1: we first started seeing each other again, taking a mummy

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Speaker 1: blog and a food blog, and then turning it in,

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Speaker 1: monetizing it, and then transforming it into when she transformed

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Speaker 1: into becoming like a freelance writer, and then transforming once

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Speaker 1: again into the life coach she is now. So for me,

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Speaker 1: it was a typical guy trying to fix things, you know.

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Speaker 1: So that's not what it is. This is what it is,

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Speaker 1: but sitting on the sideline and just trying to go

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Speaker 1: have a look. Look, here's what you've done. You have

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Speaker 1: done all these great things. These are all wins. But

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Speaker 1: you've got to try. And if you can't look at

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Speaker 1: it as a win at the moment, it's going to

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Speaker 1: be very hard for you to move into the next

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Speaker 1: stage of your life. But you have to go through

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Speaker 1: that in the grief process, and then also look at

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Speaker 1: your identity again and try and figure out who you are,

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Speaker 1: but who what do you want to do? Because what

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Speaker 1: you do isn't who you are. They're two different things

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Speaker 1: and we often get those confused together.

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Speaker 5: Did you know that twenty years ago? Or is this

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Speaker 5: something that you've learned along the way subsequent.

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Speaker 1: This only happened in the last ten years.

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Speaker 7: So we've been together for ten years, just saying yeah,

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Speaker 7: so I've done learning about stuffing things up many times

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Speaker 7: myself and then going, well, you know, you get to

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Speaker 7: pick up your bat and ball and keep going.

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Speaker 1: So and also, I don't know, looking at it from

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Speaker 1: trying to be pragmatic about it, it's not always the

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Speaker 1: easiest way to look at things. But when you're on

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Speaker 1: the outside looking in, it's easy to see all that

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Speaker 1: individual components that you can consider wins in your life.

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Speaker 1: But when you're in it yourself, and I know that

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Speaker 1: feeling of the depth of despair, it's very hard to

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Speaker 1: see out. You just feel like you're sinking. So I

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Speaker 1: was just trying to be like a life raft on

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Speaker 1: the side and just you know, and just be there

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Speaker 1: for her.

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Speaker 6: Well, you guys should do a podcast called The Life

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Speaker 6: Coach and the life raft.

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 2: But just even just hearing you say, like you just

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Speaker 2: being the life raft, that's exactly He's never said that before,

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Speaker 2: not using that word, but it's actually it's making me.

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Speaker 2: It's given me the feels because he was exactly that. Like,

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Speaker 2: there were many many times I felt like I was

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Speaker 2: kind of clinging. I was lost at sea, I was clinging,

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Speaker 2: and you were just so rock steady, always so rock steady.

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Speaker 1: Realization is that you can't make people change the way

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Speaker 1: they feel. They've got to work through its patients not

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Speaker 1: one of my virtues, but with Daniel, I have patients

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Speaker 1: and a ton of empathy. Apparently, Daniel, you.

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Speaker 4: Talk a lot about the hustle culture, and the two

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Speaker 4: of you we were talking off there before, have made

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Speaker 4: a sea change out of Sydney. How has your life

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Speaker 4: changed away from the idea of the hustle culture now

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Speaker 4: that you aren't understood it so much.

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Speaker 2: It's interesting because hustle culture is part sort of where

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Speaker 2: you are, but it's.

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Speaker 3: Also an intrinsic thing.

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Speaker 2: So when I first moved to the beach to the

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Speaker 2: under the mountain, I was anticipating this sort of epiphany

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Speaker 2: to just occur and I remember going for a coffee

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Speaker 2: with a friend and I said, it's still the same.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm still as soon as the kids are

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Speaker 2: out the door, I sit down at my desk. I'm

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Speaker 2: working all day. They come home and doing the run

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Speaker 2: around and in the dinner time, then I sit down

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Speaker 2: and work some more.

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Speaker 3: And she said, you know.

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Speaker 2: The proximity, like where you live isn't going to be

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Speaker 2: the thing, Like nothing changes if you don't make changes.

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Speaker 2: And she I know, she said, is it's sacred land

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Speaker 2: where we live. It's between two song lines and it's magnificent.

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Speaker 2: And she said, you know, you need to slow down

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Speaker 2: and let the land tell you how you need to

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Speaker 2: live here. But you've got to be quiet enough to listen.

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Speaker 2: And I have heeded that, and I've tried really hard

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Speaker 2: to unwind and unravel all.

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Speaker 3: Of that programming of the doing.

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Speaker 2: And I have to be productive, and I have to

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Speaker 2: be kicking goals, and I have to have all the

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Speaker 2: ambition and I have to be striving for those. And

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Speaker 2: I think that ambition and goals and achievement there are

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Speaker 2: awesome things, and they're really important for a human to

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Speaker 2: have that direction and that sense of satisfaction it's the

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Speaker 2: energy with which you do it. So trying to unravel

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Speaker 2: my intrinsic urge to be on the go all the

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Speaker 2: time and pushing and trying and struggling and all of

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Speaker 2: that to being able to go with a sense of

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Speaker 2: ease and fun and play and curiosity like let's let's

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Speaker 2: try this. I wonder what happens as opposed to like

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Speaker 2: grouping on with your fingernails and like you know, white

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Speaker 2: knuckling it through through the good stuff. You miss it

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Speaker 2: because you're just constantly looking at the next thing.

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Speaker 5: Where do expectations fit in the hustle culture and stress?

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Speaker 6: Do you think for both of.

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Speaker 3: You expectations from internal exity.

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Speaker 5: Having expectations of all the doing For me anyway, that's

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Speaker 5: way more stress. It's work better for me to take

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Speaker 5: away just do because I want to do it and

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Speaker 5: have an intent to do something and lose the expectation

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Speaker 5: of how it's supposed to be perceived or look or

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Speaker 5: what rewards.

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Speaker 1: Control. You're talking about it. So if you don't get

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Speaker 1: the outcome you've set your heart on, then you're not

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Speaker 1: in control of it.

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Speaker 6: Is really more success and the failure that acceptance.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's the judgment of whether something has worked or

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Speaker 2: it hasn't worked. I took up painting in COVID and

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Speaker 2: I anticipated being awesome at it, and.

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Speaker 3: Sad to say, I was not.

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Speaker 2: And I found myself in the process of it being

437
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Speaker 2: really set on the outcome, and when it wasn't that,

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Speaker 2: because the mercy middle in the creative process is always

439
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Speaker 2: a bit hideous and hard to get through. When it

440
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Speaker 2: wasn't that, I was hard on myself. I judged myself

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Speaker 2: and I wanted to quit, and I went into the

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Speaker 2: There's a Facebook group where the mentor Tracy Vijugo, where

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Speaker 2: she you can communicate with her.

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Speaker 3: She's since become a friend. She's amazing.

445
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 2: I asked her, a captain, my captain, how do you

446
00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,679
Speaker 2: enjoy the process, because right now it's not fun. This

447
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 2: is I'm supposed to be doing this for play, and

448
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 2: it just feels hard and I'm just judging everything that

449
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 2: I do. And she said, I encourage people to approach

450
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 2: it with a sense of curiosity, like I wonder what

451
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 2: happens if I try this. I wonder what to happen

452
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,639
Speaker 2: if I put this here. I wonder what to happen

453
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:21,120
Speaker 2: if I do that? And I realized Cam's that's the expectation, right,

454
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,160
Speaker 2: if we if we change the way we look at

455
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 2: things and approach it from this. I wonder, you know,

456
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,119
Speaker 2: this sense of curiosity. I wonder what happen if I

457
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,399
Speaker 2: do that, if I throw myself into this, I wonder

458
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 2: how it'll go. I have. It's good to have a

459
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 2: sense of the outcome that you're moving towards. Otherwise you're

460
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 2: kind of like flailing around, right, so you have a

461
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,720
Speaker 2: sense of where you're going. But I think being able

462
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 2: to sort of release the grip on what you think

463
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 2: it should be, because sometimes where you end up is

464
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 2: actually much better than where you thought you were going.

465
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 5: Well, and you don't know where you're going, So the

466
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 5: curiosity is a huge piece.

467
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 6: Of the puzzle.

468
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 1: Everyone's going to plan to you punch in the face,

469
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: all goes out the window.

470
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 4: I'm constantly remembering and forgetting and then we're forgetting this

471
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 4: this this thing that I that I think I'm genius

472
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 4: every time I remember it again.

473
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:09,640
Speaker 6: Is that?

474
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 4: Is it like painting or like when I learned something new,

475
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 4: I'm exactly the same. I'm like, I'm going to be

476
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 4: so good when I when I sing or a paint

477
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 4: or do pottery, and then you know, I talked to

478
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 4: the to the teacher, the coach and say, yeah, I've

479
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 4: been doing it since I was twelve years old, and

480
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,159
Speaker 4: I'm like fifty four thinking I'm going to be like you.

481
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:34,199
Speaker 4: And it's like, Ali, please take the expectation you have

482
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 4: to if you want to put in the work and

483
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 4: put in years, you might actually get to where she's at.

484
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 4: But it's like taking that, as you were saying, the pressure,

485
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 4: the experience of what I think it's going to be,

486
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 4: just to be able to go, I'm going to start

487
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 4: something new and I'm going to be really crap at

488
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 4: it a first, And how cool is that?

489
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's totally fine.

490
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:54,919
Speaker 2: Okay, we're sucking at something.

491
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:56,200
Speaker 3: I suck at.

492
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,680
Speaker 4: It for a long time until I might actually get better,

493
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 4: who knows, and I forget it all the time.

494
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

495
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 4: And I remember.

496
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 5: You talked before about relaxing and how you're a master

497
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 5: of relaxing master. I think I think relaxing is completely

498
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,439
Speaker 5: under rented. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's important because to.

499
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 1: Set yourself up for it, you know, I found like,

500
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: now we've got a dog and we can go to

501
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: the beach, and it's I found if I take my

502
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 1: watch off and chuck my phone in the car of

503
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 1: the watch, then I'm now I'm completely unconnect disconnected from

504
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: the world and time, and it can only be in

505
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 1: the moment. I can't communicate with anyone else other than

506
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,480
Speaker 1: the people on the beach, and I found that's a

507
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: good way. Otherwise, like, oh, you get an email thinking

508
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 1: about work, It's like the sun and the escarpment and

509
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 1: the dog, and it's more important to take that time

510
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,360
Speaker 1: out and if you can't, then remove those distractions.

511
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 5: Danielle, this the hustle culture and the grind. You're asking

512
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 5: the question, is it really worth it to do the

513
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:02,640
Speaker 5: hustle and the grind? Is it time that we take

514
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 5: a different approach to it?

515
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 3: I think like.

516
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 2: The problem can be that when I say to people,

517
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 2: you know, getting out of the hustle and grind, the

518
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 2: flip side of the coin is doing nothing or just

519
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 2: chilling or watching, you know, binge watching, or you know,

520
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 2: like losing any of that sort of momentum or ambition.

521
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:31,399
Speaker 2: But I think that it's, as I said before, the

522
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 2: energy with which you do stuff, so hustle and grind

523
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 2: is that constant driving force success at all costs. It

524
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 2: doesn't matter that I'm exhausted or tired. I'm not listening

525
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 2: to my body. I'm not paying attention to the red

526
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 2: flags that i've you know, being waived because emotionally, physically, mentally,

527
00:26:55,359 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 2: I'm under pressure, right, And it's okay to have times.

528
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 2: We have times where you're like, okay, I'm under the pump.

529
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,879
Speaker 2: I really need to knuckle down and get things done.

530
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 2: But it's when we've got that sort of prolonged push

531
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 2: for a really long time that the wheels start to

532
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 2: fall off. So I think it's, you know, to the

533
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:24,360
Speaker 2: antidote to the hustle and grind is to have your ambition,

534
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 2: know where you're going, and be able to do it

535
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 2: with a sense of ease. It's the striving and the

536
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 2: pushing and the hustling that's the problem, not the doing.

537
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:41,880
Speaker 2: So what that means in actuality is in your busy day,

538
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,880
Speaker 2: have moments of peace. I mean you said before Ali,

539
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 2: it's just nice to sit there and do nothing, sit

540
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 2: there in daydream and you don't have to do it

541
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 2: for an hour. You can do it for five minutes,

542
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 2: ten minutes. Bring your nervous system back to sort of

543
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:02,640
Speaker 2: a baseline. After each little burst of energy and allow

544
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 2: yourself more space in the days because we're just constantly

545
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 2: cramming more and more doing into our days, and then

546
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 2: our downtime is cramming more and more information into our

547
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 2: faces because we've got that social.

548
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 3: Device in our hands. Yeah, which I love.

549
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 2: I love my phone. I'm not going to blaspheme the phone.

550
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 2: But it's it's knowing that we can set ourselves up

551
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 2: for holistic success, whole life success with just a few

552
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 2: simple tweaks on what we're already doing, which is just

553
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: stop cramming so much in all the time.

554
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 4: Is that in your book? Do you tell us how

555
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 4: to have the Chocolate Bar life?

556
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 3: I do, Yes, I do, you know.

557
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 2: So it's all about It's all about the balance of work,

558
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 2: rest and play. So the Chocolate Bar life is is

559
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 2: a play on the Mars Bar.

560
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: Tell them about eight hundreds ha ha ha.

561
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 3: I saw that on I know.

562
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 2: I met with Mars recently because because of the Chocolate

563
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 2: Bar life, I'm talking about this Mars Bar philosophy that

564
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 2: I have and I met with Mars recently.

565
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 6: And you a person like mister Wonka.

566
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 3: So it's a family.

567
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 2: Yes, they're going into their fifth generation of the Mars family.

568
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 2: It is still a family run business. It is now

569
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 2: down there. I think there was three kids and now

570
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 2: it's down to the two of them. They sent me.

571
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 2: I asked, you know, how about a bit of merch

572
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 2: for my book launchers that are coming up. And I

573
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 2: was thinking, you know, a couple one hundred eight hundred

574
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 2: Mars bars landed and I got usually have seen the

575
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 2: kids very excited faces. But then, hilariously, a couple of

576
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 2: weeks ago, I was doing a keynote at the PK

577
00:29:56,080 --> 00:30:00,080
Speaker 2: and Women in Packaging Awards and I was talking to

578
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,959
Speaker 2: to the VP actually of Ankor, who have done the

579
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 2: new packaging for Mars write the new recycled paper packaging.

580
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And he noted that in my keynote the

581
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 2: image that I had just ripped from the internet was

582
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 2: the old packaging plastic wrapper and he mentioned it to me.

583
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 2: So I sent him a cheeky message saying, hey, I'll

584
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 2: do you a deal. Shoot me over an updated picture

585
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 2: with the new packaging and I'll send you a book.

586
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 2: And he thought, I said send me product.

587
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 3: So he's sent me more.

588
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:36,959
Speaker 2: Mars bars and more snickers. So now like, if this

589
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 2: gig doesn't if this gig doesn't work out for me,

590
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 2: I'm just going to open up a chocolate shop.

591
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.

592
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 4: You also wrote an article called the bucket list that

593
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:51,959
Speaker 4: saved my relationship.

594
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, you did go back through the archives.

595
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 4: Yes, now, can you tell us how that came out?

596
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 4: And I also want to hear from you Nick about this.

597
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 4: Did you contribute to that article?

598
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 1: I contributed, probably to the bucket list?

599
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, supplied the bucket.

600
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: I'm quite happy to do the same thing over and

601
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 1: over again. I like routine and the process. Daniel left

602
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 1: after we've done it twice in a row. So I'm

603
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 1: absolutely bored with this. My life sucks and we've got.

604
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 6: To do something else. Nice balance you too.

605
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like, okay, we'll get a list and

606
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 1: write it all down all the things we can do

607
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: so we never have to think about it on a

608
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 1: weekend because it's like dinner time.

609
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 3: You remember the article? Why I wrote the article?

610
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 6: Though?

611
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 3: He was talking about the time we broke.

612
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 1: Up one that's another bucket.

613
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 2: That's how the bucket list first came about, do you remember.

614
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 2: So we were together for eight months maybe, and then we.

615
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 3: Split for a little while.

616
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 2: I was bored, I mean there was a lot more

617
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 2: to it. I was also going through a really messy breakup.

618
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 2: Not a super messy breakup, but it was I felt

619
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 2: messy internally separating their home and their.

620
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 3: Kids and all that sort of stuff. I broke up

621
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 3: with Nick.

622
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 2: And then maybe twelve weeks or something later, maybe a

623
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 2: bit less, he says it six weeks.

624
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 3: I think it was a few more.

625
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 4: But I said it involve these I say again, so

626
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 4: let me just get this straight.

627
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 5: Second, you were having you broke up with Nick, but

628
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 5: you're also dealing with the breakup prior to that, you

629
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 5: did you know, you're dealing with two breakups.

630
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 3: Well, kind of like.

631
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 2: With my ex, my first partner and I my first

632
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 2: husband and I we had been separated for you know,

633
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 2: eight or nine months, but there's still like it's protracted

634
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 2: that kids, Yeah, it's protracted, and you know, the house

635
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 2: and getting the new routine, and then there's like dealing

636
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 2: with that other person, Like that's a whole that's a

637
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 2: whole thing, right, that's that is a whole energy onto

638
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 2: its own, and so trying to sort of navigate that

639
00:32:56,320 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 2: and keep my kids happy and healthy, paying a mortgage

640
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 2: while a freelancer that I had a bit of stress

641
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,960
Speaker 2: going on. So there was that, and there was trying

642
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 2: to like navigate a new relationship. And I mean, I

643
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 2: think emotionally I probably wasn't ready. I did go from

644
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 2: one to the other like really quickly, so I think, yeah,

645
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 2: probably wasn't quite in a great emotional position to commit.

646
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 6: Now you've broken up with Nick, yeah, eight weeks.

647
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 3: Later, yeah, eight weeks later.

648
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 2: Well, I had bought the kids this big, cubby house

649
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 2: on gum Tree because I was broke. It was Christmas

650
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 2: and the guy said, have you got a car big

651
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 2: enough to pick it up?

652
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 3: And I was like, how big can it be? I've

653
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 3: got a station.

654
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:43,240
Speaker 2: Wagon and he was like, no, no, I'll bring it

655
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 2: over in my ute. So he like he dismantled this

656
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 2: thing or over seriously serious true floors. It had climbing thing,

657
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 2: climbing net and like a yeah, it.

658
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 3: Was an epic And when I got.

659
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 2: There, I was like, oh shit, like I can't do this.

660
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 2: This is not a solo person job. And I didn't

661
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 2: have anyone to ask.

662
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 3: So I was like, oh, favor, do.

663
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:13,960
Speaker 2: You think you could come over and help, you know,

664
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 2: while the kids are away, we'll get it up. A

665
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 2: couple of days before Christmas, and he came in here

666
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:22,280
Speaker 2: as he was digging those holes, because that's what it required.

667
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:31,719
Speaker 6: With the picks going in there, He's grunting.

668
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 5: And every time as you just went, oh what am

669
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 5: I doing?

670
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 3: Do you know? Pretty much?

671
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 2: Except it wasn't quite It wasn't as like a pheromone

672
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 2: driven things of course, slamming it down quick. No, it

673
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:51,359
Speaker 2: was more look at the lengths that this guy will

674
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 2: go to, look at look at his commitment, because those

675
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 2: holes really they really did require big, big holes to

676
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 2: be dug. And yeah, I just it was that again,

677
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 2: that sort of steadiness in him. So we got back

678
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:10,320
Speaker 2: together after the thing. But I decide, I said, I'm bored.

679
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:14,879
Speaker 2: We're like this married couple, so early in our relationship,

680
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 2: we're doing the same things we can on the weekend.

681
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: We're gonna do this, we're gonna do that, We're gonna

682
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:19,359
Speaker 2: do this.

683
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 3: It is boring.

684
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 2: Let's create some variety and ride a bucket list of

685
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 2: things to do, right, And it's not necessarily you know,

686
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 2: a bucket list of things to do before you die,

687
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 2: but things to do before I die of boredom because

688
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 2: we do the same shit every weekend. So we created

689
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 2: two lists, one which was like a family list, one

690
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 2: we can do with the kids, and one we could

691
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 2: do with each other. And it wasn't you know, some

692
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 2: of it was expensive, right, go hot air ballooning, but

693
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 2: some of it was like, explore different beaches that we

694
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,240
Speaker 2: haven't been to within an x radius. You know, it's

695
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 2: just getting out of the.

696
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,840
Speaker 3: The hun drum, you know, exploring new things.

697
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 2: But the brain loves my brain, my little ADHD brain

698
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 2: loves variety. So for us, it was being able to

699
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 2: have this sort of collection of things that we could

700
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 2: just dip our hand into and be like, what are

701
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 2: we doing this weekend? Right, Okay, let's get let's get

702
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:19,799
Speaker 2: amongst it. So yeah, that that definitely saved our relationship.

703
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 2: I will have to admit, I think we're getting it.

704
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 2: We've become a little bit complacent again. But also we're

705
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:29,359
Speaker 2: ten years older and I don't mind a bucket list.

706
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, the bigger house.

707
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 4: I actually really really love that idea, Like we've been

708
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 4: married for thirty four together for thirty four years.

709
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,759
Speaker 2: And that's such a huge thing like that it is. Yeah,

710
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,440
Speaker 2: you guys are like the poster.

711
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 6: Straight. It's a great idea. So it'll be a bucket

712
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 6: list to play.

713
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 4: Golf kind of this is going to be a great

714
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 4: bucket list. Yeah, yeah, but I love the idea, like

715
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 4: you could have your yeah, your fantasy bucket list, which

716
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 4: is like travel Europe or like you said, let's go

717
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 4: visit other beaches, let's go have Lebanese food, you know,

718
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 4: down the coast somewhere. I mean, just stuff that.

719
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,440
Speaker 6: Like, yeah, I love what you said that our brains

720
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 6: love new things.

721
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 5: And friends of mine did they swam in every ocean

722
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,240
Speaker 5: pool in New South Wales.

723
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,399
Speaker 6: They did that. That's a great thing to do.

724
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 5: They drove down south and they go and hit they

725
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 5: go back to all the places and they just went

726
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 5: where are all the ocean pools? Took photographs of all

727
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:39,360
Speaker 5: the ocean pools in New South Wales And because we

728
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 5: have their.

729
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 2: Heaps of so many, there's five just where we are

730
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:52,799
Speaker 2: right in one of them.

731
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 4: Nick, can you recall I know this is sort of

732
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 4: a big question, but can you recall a specific moment

733
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 4: or experience in your relationship with Danielle that really strengthened

734
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 4: your bond or changed like the course of your marriage.

735
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 4: Was there one experience that you remember?

736
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: So it's a rolling series of things like it was

737
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 1: obviously with getting back together than meeting the kids. So

738
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 1: that's a moment. But then to New Zealand and was

739
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: there when Richard Daniel was nursing and he passed away,

740
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:25,359
Speaker 1: and being there in just critical moments. Obviously getting married

741
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 1: in New York was fun.

742
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 3: Oh that's a good story.

743
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:30,799
Speaker 1: I was working in New York at the time, on

744
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: and off. So this last stint was like four weeks,

745
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 1: and I've been doing it for six months. Ago over

746
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 1: two weeks, come back for two weeks, and then it

747
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:41,240
Speaker 1: was getting really tiresome, and I said to my bosses today,

748
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:43,959
Speaker 1: can I I'm going for four weeks. The family's getting

749
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: a bit upset with this, so I want to bring

750
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 1: Danielle over. Can the company stump up for some so

751
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 1: for accommodation. So they paid the accommodation and gave us

752
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,319
Speaker 1: like two hundred fifty dollars a day stipe end, which

753
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: Danielle spent all of it. And I was a work

754
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: and she's just tripping around Manhattan about because.

755
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 2: But we were at a bar in it somewhere in

756
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 2: missus Palmer's in Sydney, and marriage hadn't really been on

757
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:12,760
Speaker 2: the cards for us.

758
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,359
Speaker 3: We've been together for probably four years, maybe.

759
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 2: Five, and Nick just said, out of the blue. The

760
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 2: New York trip was planning, and Nick said, out of

761
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 2: the blue, wouldn't it be cool if we eloped in

762
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:25,320
Speaker 2: Central Park?

763
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah.

764
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 2: It would be she would be Yeah, it would be

765
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 2: super cool. And I said, don't think that that is

766
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:39,280
Speaker 2: a proposal, buddy, Like that is not That is not going.

767
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 3: To cut it.

768
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:43,319
Speaker 2: And he proposed the next day on the beach and

769
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 2: that was rad.

770
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 3: That was so fun.

771
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 2: You get a fancy dress, organize a photographer, get the

772
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 2: kids all frocked up, and then send photos back to

773
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 2: our family, going.

774
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,359
Speaker 3: So fru Did you take the kids to New York?

775
00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 5: On?

776
00:39:57,719 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 6: Which beach were you?

777
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 1: When was raand Game? Actually sailing club?

778
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 3: Yeah?

779
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know exactly where that is. Yeah, and then

780
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 4: and then Elope in New York.

781
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 3: It's so fun.

782
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 1: Is my mum's sagrin?

783
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 3: Did you do something he's never forgiven us?

784
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: I guess we did? We have another ceremony? And where

785
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:17,320
Speaker 1: was it?

786
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 6: Guy Mere at the Yeah Gallery?

787
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 4: Yeah?

788
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 6: Nice?

789
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 4: When did you know that you wanted to that Danielle

790
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,839
Speaker 4: was the one for you that you wanted to pop

791
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:26,320
Speaker 4: the question?

792
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: It's not something over. They've really crossed my mind at

793
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,800
Speaker 1: popping the quest and always I wanted to be with her.

794
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there was she didn't see himself as the

795
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 2: marrying kind.

796
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 1: No, no, no no. But Daniel had sort of dropped it

797
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 1: in conversation. It's been like three four years, you know,

798
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: and it's like she's talking about marriage. So I was

799
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:48,879
Speaker 1: and then they came up and I was like, oh,

800
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: this is a great opportunity. I can really get some

801
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 1: brandie points here. So New York women take advantage of it, right.

802
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 1: So the photos we have from the photographer incredible. Yeah,

803
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:04,320
Speaker 1: such a park amazing. And then we went to Nobu

804
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:08,799
Speaker 1: for dinner after he was there. Yeah, it was on

805
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 1: fifty seventh Street, which they called Billionaires the high rises.

806
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 1: Then felt financially violated.

807
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 2: After that, that was the honeymoon money spent.

808
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 3: We had two minutes.

809
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 6: I got one little piece of that meso.

810
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, the food was great. And then we stopped back

811
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:33,320
Speaker 1: in Hawaii for like ten the nights in Kawaii the honeymoon,

812
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:34,359
Speaker 1: so we had.

813
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:38,359
Speaker 4: Our honeymoon was unfortunately and natural disaster that happened two

814
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 4: days after we got there, and we were the quest

815
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 4: to our hotel for three or four days, couldn't leave.

816
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:56,280
Speaker 3: It was yeah, these days we'd be like, no, four days.

817
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 4: How was the transition to becoming a step dad for you?

818
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 1: It hasn't been without a challenges. Sure, Yeah. I come

819
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,359
Speaker 1: from a split family and under stepdad my whole life

820
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 1: as well. And so I look back at and just

821
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 1: the way he had just got a shoulder some of

822
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: the responsibility and try just do your best to be

823
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: a stable like for me.

824
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 6: Like being a rock, you know, a life raft.

825
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:25,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, like that for Danielle. But yeah, well straightened, not

826
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 1: straight and narrow, but like this is wrong and this

827
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 1: is right, you know. And sometimes my what I've seen

828
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:34,279
Speaker 1: is when you call it straight and narrow road, the

829
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,799
Speaker 1: path to walk is somewhat a bit too straight and narrow.

830
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 2: Sometimes when parenting styles differ, Yeah, they do. Yeah, And

831
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 2: I think it's it's doubly hard for Nick as well,

832
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 2: because our parenting styles differ. And they're my kids, yes,

833
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 2: so I don't It's not like I would ever pull

834
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 2: rank and be like, well, they're my.

835
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,239
Speaker 1: Kids, you need to say that.

836
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:59,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just kind of there. There is always just

837
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:04,400
Speaker 2: is knowing. Even with the kids. It's and that in

838
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 2: itself is a problem. You know, sometimes I'm not I

839
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 2: don't back Nick enough and the kids know that. Sometimes

840
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:18,399
Speaker 2: Nick I think is not as flexible, probably flexible or

841
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 2: maybe even as like warm as he would be if

842
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 2: they were his biological kids, even though he's been with

843
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:26,359
Speaker 2: them since they were two and four.

844
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 6: Understandable, there is a.

845
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 2: Different dynamic there, really is. So it is a it

846
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:36,839
Speaker 2: is a sort of constant conversation and negotiation. But we're

847
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 2: all good at we're all good at communicating, I think.

848
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 1: Yet.

849
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 5: So that's what What are some strategies there for communicating

850
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 5: for one with the kids and also for you two

851
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 5: as in a relationship.

852
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:55,400
Speaker 1: The strategy really is it's just open and if we

853
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,320
Speaker 1: need to, like say, call the time and get everyone

854
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 1: to sit down and make a point at the dinner table,

855
00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,239
Speaker 1: for instance, we can do those. We don't have to

856
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: do that often. Daniel and very open communicators. So evens

857
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 1: I love it. Just wake up first thing in the morning,

858
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 1: out we're talking about parenting.

859
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 3: Yes, let me wake up first. I haven't had a coffee.

860
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:16,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't think we sit like have a

861
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: strategic session and how we're going to parent the kids.

862
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,800
Speaker 1: This way, the kids are happy and doing well at school.

863
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 1: You know, no one's breaking the law yet, so you know,

864
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 1: we don't have any real major struggles I think in

865
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 1: terms of that other than do the washing picture of

866
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,399
Speaker 1: washing in the washing basketfold, you're washing that the normal

867
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 1: stuff that everyone has an issue with, and then getting

868
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: the assass and the talk back.

869
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

870
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 2: Every now and then we'll have a flurry, so we'll

871
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 2: butt heads as a family over something multiple times, and

872
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 2: then Nick will be.

873
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:47,920
Speaker 3: Like, what we're doing isn't working.

874
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,880
Speaker 2: Let's do whatever, like a parenting course, let's read this

875
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 2: book whatever, and yeah, and we'll we'll start something, learn

876
00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:01,840
Speaker 2: one thing from it, try for a minute, get distracted,

877
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 2: go back to our old ways, and then yeah, yeah, yeah.

878
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:06,959
Speaker 2: But every now and then we're like, right, we're gonna

879
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:10,719
Speaker 2: we're going to change up how we're doing things. Ultimately,

880
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 2: I think we're doing okay, right that the kids are

881
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 2: doing good. We're doing good. Nobody's too wayward. It wouldn't

882
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,319
Speaker 2: be good if they could put their socks and stuff away, though,

883
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 2: Like they just.

884
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 4: The biological kids for both of us, and they still

885
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 4: don't put their socks away. So that's that's certainly that's

886
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:32,319
Speaker 4: the universals.

887
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 1: On the bed.

888
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:41,279
Speaker 2: For some reason, the cat loves to pee on the

889
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 2: wet towels on the floor.

890
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:44,399
Speaker 3: So I'm like, this is this is what happens kids.

891
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 2: If you leave your wet towel on the floor, the

892
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:47,359
Speaker 2: cat peas on it.

893
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:50,880
Speaker 1: They need to learn along the way, you know.

894
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 4: And we've had many a couple with who you know,

895
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 4: one or the others become a step parent, and not

896
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 4: a single one is said smooth silk, not a single one.

897
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 3: It's all been a work.

898
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 4: In progress, really hard at the start. Good now, But

899
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 4: like sore therapist did that, did a psychogy, I mean,

900
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 4: like every single one, right, It's always been like yeah,

901
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:17,839
Speaker 4: it's been tricky at times, and I think from what

902
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 4: you were saying, you know, just finding that balance of

903
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 4: particularly with the rules and the parenting, it's it's a

904
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:25,760
Speaker 4: fine line to walk.

905
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 5: It's that thing where on Instagram everything looks flashy and fabulous,

906
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 5: and that's what we want to look at, you know,

907
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:34,880
Speaker 5: we don't really want to look at the gritty stuff.

908
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 5: But it's good to know that we're all going we're

909
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 5: all navigating difficulty. It's challenging and it's sometimes really hard.

910
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:49,720
Speaker 1: So hard your kids. It's not just us.

911
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 5: We do a two minute shower. We ask you to

912
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 5: keep your answers short. Sure, and it's been raining a

913
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 5: lot where we're not in to so much water conservation.

914
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 6: We have a lot of it.

915
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 5: His first question, what about your relationship makes you feel

916
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 5: the most grateful?

917
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 1: Daniel's very caring and nurturing, and I know that actually

918
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 1: always got my back.

919
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 2: I would say humor, and he listens and tries like

920
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:23,320
Speaker 2: I want to expand on that, but it's a short

921
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 2: answer only you know, like I know that it sounds

922
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:30,399
Speaker 2: really bad, but like when I when I he tries

923
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:33,360
Speaker 2: so hard when I say something to you. We communicate

924
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 2: and I'm like, this is this is how I'm feeling,

925
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 2: this is what's happening. He listens, and then he tries

926
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 2: to not make me feel that.

927
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like that.

928
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:47,360
Speaker 2: What the world needs more of is well listening.

929
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say that, and probably empathy. I'm

930
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:51,759
Speaker 1: coming from a point of lack of.

931
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 6: So, yeah, what does your perfect day look like?

932
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 1: That's easy, get up, go to the beach with the dog,

933
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 1: come back, workout, chill in the pool, do some work.

934
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 1: You know, barbecue preferably steak, and then bed.

935
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:10,839
Speaker 3: He's a simple man. He's a simpful man.

936
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 6: Nice to keep things simple.

937
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:16,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like so for me, the days that I

938
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 2: think it's a perfect day is when I've had all

939
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 2: of the different things satisfied. So I will have like

940
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 2: a sleep in, which is like seven o'clock sleep in,

941
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,720
Speaker 2: walk at the beach, maybe a pastry on the beach,

942
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:32,800
Speaker 2: then go and do something like go for a hike,

943
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 2: come and do some art, then spend some time with

944
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 2: some friends, and bed by nine o'clock. Like, oh, that's

945
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 2: so good, so old.

946
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:48,879
Speaker 4: Like our last question, one word to describe each other?

947
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 6: Fun, one word.

948
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:52,720
Speaker 2: I've got so many going through my brain.

949
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 3: Reliable. Yeah that's awesome. What's your one word? What would

950
00:48:58,239 --> 00:48:58,799
Speaker 3: you what? What?

951
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:00,839
Speaker 2: This is a good one. That's one where you would

952
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:01,719
Speaker 2: used to just gobe each other.

953
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, no one's ever turned the table on us.

954
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:10,799
Speaker 2: Sorry about that, guys, dry, I couldn't see that.

955
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 3: I was like, actually I felt the same thing.

956
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:16,520
Speaker 6: Mind nice, that's a good one.

957
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 4: I really related when you were saying about Nick about

958
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 4: about trying hard and it's not the right thing to

959
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 4: try hard to Yeah, he's really like the same thing.

960
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:31,760
Speaker 4: He listens and then he really wants to. He really

961
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 4: loves to make me happy. So I don't know what

962
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 4: that word is, but I was thinking conscientious.

963
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 3: But that's but yeah, you like to Like, we have.

964
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 5: A dog called Curly who who is just he tries

965
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:45,360
Speaker 5: really hard.

966
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 6: He's he just tries hard to be a good dog

967
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 6: and he just messes up. He'll nip someone's heel on

968
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 6: a wall, like.

969
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 4: Because anxiety gets the better and.

970
00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 5: We're all gonna die and Curly will die, but on

971
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 5: stone it will be like, good boy, Curl, you tried

972
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 5: really hard. I do feel a bit.

973
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 2: Like, have you just written your own epitaphed really hard?

974
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 5: You've written your own book, Daniel Collie The Chocolate Bar Life.

975
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:21,840
Speaker 6: It's out now in stores. Yes, yes, it's.

976
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 4: Chopped full of goodness, How to live, How to Live a.

977
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:27,839
Speaker 3: Chocolate Bar Life.

978
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:32,719
Speaker 6: I think it's awesome, sweet, fantastic. Thank you for being

979
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 6: with us in Daniel and Nick.

980
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 3: How great was that?

981
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 4: We've just been left with a bunch of the Mars

982
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 4: bars that that Danielle was given And there's a little

983
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 4: tag on the end.

984
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 3: With a QR code. I'm like, what's the QR code?

985
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 4: So the QR code takes us to her website, and

986
00:50:56,640 --> 00:51:00,840
Speaker 4: there's actually a program you can do related to the

987
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 4: chocolate bar life, so how you can live the chocolate

988
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 4: bar life.

989
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:04,760
Speaker 3: So you can actually get.

990
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 4: On board and not only read the book, but do

991
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,360
Speaker 4: an actual program to help you lead that kind of

992
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:10,120
Speaker 4: a life as well.

993
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 6: And we get to enjoy a chocolate bar on my mouth.

994
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 3: Lost.

995
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 4: No, I was thinking how much I wanted a Mars

996
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 4: bar when we were talking about them, And I.

997
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 5: Imagine our listeners sitting there right now again, bloody baggery,

998
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 5: I'm pulling over.

999
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 4: Three Mars bars in the new recycle, the new packaging.

1000
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:34,760
Speaker 4: That's right, Well, that was really really lovely. Nick nick, nick,

1001
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:40,320
Speaker 4: I know so much wisdom. So still, yes, come salt

1002
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 4: the earth, as they say.

1003
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,319
Speaker 5: Kept it simple. I love that he set up. I

1004
00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 5: leave my watch and my phone in the car and

1005
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:49,959
Speaker 5: go head down to the beach. Yes, with the dog

1006
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:50,840
Speaker 5: in school.

1007
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 4: Old school, man, it's so shouldn't be old school, but

1008
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 4: it is, unfortunately.

1009
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, but just uncontactable the way you used to be

1010
00:51:57,960 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 6: on an aeroplane. Yeah you're not. Yeah, that's right, you know.

1011
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 5: It's it's just it's just lovely to give yourself that

1012
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 5: piece and time. The other thing I really liked what

1013
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 5: Daniel was talking about was asking that question. I wonder,

1014
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:14,879
Speaker 5: I being curious about I wonder what woul happened if

1015
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:16,920
Speaker 5: we do this, I wonder what would you know and

1016
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:19,719
Speaker 5: be open to that scenario rather than just follow the

1017
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 5: same old, same old.

1018
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 4: And I love that that's just a little It's just

1019
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 4: like a little tool that's so easy to do. Yes, yeah,

1020
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:28,760
Speaker 4: I mean we're not changing the world and our lives

1021
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 4: and giving up everything. It's like just adding one little

1022
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 4: question in here or a little change there. It's just

1023
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 4: those bite sized steps that can actually get you out

1024
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 4: of that.

1025
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:45,960
Speaker 6: Garn said, bite size chocolate watering, Right, we better go

1026
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:48,240
Speaker 6: byite side.

1027
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 4: Thanks for listening everyone, I hope you enjoy and make

1028
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:53,439
Speaker 4: sure you check out the Chocolate Bar Live