Speaker 1: Ad a lady, ad a lady and a lady A
Speaker 1: lady unfiltered. Welcome to the show where we give up
Speaker 1: on life. My names Haylee and I am Lauren.
Speaker 2: We can't give up now. You've got to give up
Speaker 2: in like ten minutes time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, thirty five minutes time. All right?
Speaker 2: Do you know who I want to be? I want
Speaker 2: to be David Pemberthy, him and his family, David Bowie.
Speaker 2: David Pembethe revived double As movie to Spain for six
Speaker 2: months with his family.
Speaker 3: David Pemberthy, it is Pemberthy. It sounds like you're doing
Speaker 3: the wrong inflection.
Speaker 2: I am the wrong inflection on the wrong salable.
Speaker 1: Is he going to Spain?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I just read it.
Speaker 2: Before and I'd love to do that with his wife
Speaker 2: and the kids. Oh they're just going to have like
Speaker 2: drinks and food and live.
Speaker 1: Their best and you can do that here. But it's Spain.
Speaker 1: It's Spain anyway.
Speaker 3: We're unfiltered. We are besties. We're business partners. Where the
Speaker 3: creators of ad Lady hollow I say, hay loosy Media
Speaker 3: and we do everything together except bang, start with a shot,
Speaker 3: don't a pistel.
Speaker 2: I've got a bissol. I can clean the couch. Okay,
Speaker 2: what you do, You're gonna have a bistle with a
Speaker 2: five year old?
Speaker 1: God, I need a bistle all right.
Speaker 3: Shopping list today, my friend, as you sip on your
Speaker 3: coffee that Millie just handed you because you can't move now, I.
Speaker 2: Literally said to Millie, MILLI, can you have me my coffee?
Speaker 2: It was sitting on that table, But then I thought
Speaker 2: she could stand there and be like a stand for me.
Speaker 3: That would be you're like the guy in the whale now,
Speaker 3: not saying you're a whale, but a whale. Frendon Frasier
Speaker 3: and he sits there and he's so like you're pregnant obviously,
Speaker 3: and you can't know what it's like to move, but
Speaker 3: you just cannot move.
Speaker 1: The thought of moving is that you need a crane
Speaker 1: to lift you up.
Speaker 2: And I'm comfortable, so the thought of moving and they're
Speaker 2: not being at this comfort level in the next twelve
Speaker 2: minutes or however long we do this podcast for, yeah,
Speaker 2: really got to me. So Milly just had him in
Speaker 2: my coffee. It was really nice.
Speaker 1: That's really nice. Shopping list, shopping list, We've.
Speaker 2: Got a couple of mems, yeah, and then you're gonna
Speaker 2: talk about I'm.
Speaker 1: Gonna talk about Sophia.
Speaker 3: You're little Sophia because you're about to have baby number two, and.
Speaker 1: I want to tell you how much the fear means
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 3: Oh, and I think I might get emotional because I
Speaker 3: never realized I could love someone that much who I
Speaker 3: didn't give birth to.
Speaker 2: You're lucky that I'm not emotional at the moment. So
Speaker 2: you know you're a rock. Yeah, I'm a rock. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Why you cried from time to time?
Speaker 2: I know, right, people say that a lot about me.
Speaker 2: I am cold. And I'm going to talk to you
Speaker 2: about something I did yesterday with my family and it
Speaker 2: really it was really lovely, and I'm going to ask
Speaker 2: you some questions about me emotionally. I like this.
Speaker 1: We're on the couch.
Speaker 2: We're on the couch. I literally want to lie on
Speaker 2: the couch. I did some deep diving off myself, which
Speaker 2: I don't like to do. Let's be honest.
Speaker 3: I like, I know, Oh, this is good and we
Speaker 3: can all use it as a tool for our own life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, let's start with your men.
Speaker 2: So yesterday I was at my brother's house and we
Speaker 2: get a call from Mom. She goes, your dad went
Speaker 2: to get a massage at three o'clock and at six
Speaker 2: thirty it is not home. Listen to Pod six.
Speaker 1: I think it was when you find out what happens
Speaker 1: at massages.
Speaker 2: Yeah, look, my dad is wild. I mean last week
Speaker 2: we were learning he's doing tai chi. He's all about
Speaker 2: fitness and keeping up like his appearances. And he gets
Speaker 2: his nails done. Yeah, he gets his nails in a
Speaker 2: petty like it's so funny. Anyway, so at six thirty,
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, where'd he go. Mom's like, he went
Speaker 2: to Mitcham. He's got his guy and he went at
Speaker 2: three o'clock. And at six thirty, I'm cooking dinner and
Speaker 2: I'm worried. I'm like, yeah, And she always whenever she
Speaker 2: says I'm worried, like now that being pregnant, she goes,
Speaker 2: I don't mean to put this on you, but I'm worried.
Speaker 1: But I'm worried.
Speaker 2: Well, now I'm worried. To protect me, you're supposed to
Speaker 2: hop in the car and drive. But anyway, so Alex
Speaker 2: and I my brother, hopped in the car and we
Speaker 2: drove to Mitcham and we're driving down. Is it grange?
Speaker 1: Road.
Speaker 2: We're sitting next to KFC and in the distance I
Speaker 2: saw my dad's car sitting there, the only car in
Speaker 2: the car park. Where does my brain go?
Speaker 1: This is weird. Yeap, he's he's dead. He's dead.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we jumped out of the car. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: parked horizontal a next Adad's car like barely stopped. I
Speaker 2: almost crashed into his car, and I made Alex look
Speaker 2: in because I didn't want to look in.
Speaker 1: He thought he was gonna be DoD in the car.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't know. I'm sorry if you go to
Speaker 2: a massage at three o'clock and the shopping center shuts
Speaker 2: at five o'clock doing so, then we looked around the
Speaker 2: car and started looking around the car park because we're like,
Speaker 2: he's been mugged or something's happened. And then we're trying
Speaker 2: to get into the center. We've called it a million times,
Speaker 2: going to message bank, message bank. I met Now, Okay,
Speaker 2: so we're checking in all the doors, can't get into Mitcham.
Speaker 2: We've checked around, and then I call Burgo, my partner,
Speaker 2: and he's like, you need to call security. We need
Speaker 2: to get in there. We need to check bathrooms. So
Speaker 2: we're having a panic. We've called all my other brothers.
Speaker 2: By all my other brothers, I mean too yeah, because
Speaker 2: it's four of us. Yea, is he have you heard
Speaker 2: from him? Nothing? Calling mom? Still stressed. Then my phone rings.
Speaker 2: I'm at the door. I'm at the door. You know
Speaker 2: where Walla. I'm just at the door, about to run
Speaker 2: in start checking bathrooms. It's dad. Ah, Oh, my phone died.
Speaker 1: What excuse me?
Speaker 2: Ah? I mean you're getting a massage deal? Oh? I say, hello, what?
Speaker 2: What's six thirty at night? Why is he still getting
Speaker 2: a message? Because whatever his name is, the guy had
Speaker 2: to like tend to someone else and do something else.
Speaker 2: And by the time he started, it was like ten
Speaker 2: to five, and I've got nott similar Why are you here?
Speaker 2: Why are you stressed?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: My god? And I, Alex and I are looking Dad
Speaker 2: what And he goes, what are you doing? And we're
Speaker 2: like are you? Are you joking? But also they kick
Speaker 2: you out at five third They're done. Nah, Dad's supreme
Speaker 2: gold gold customer. I think is that they kept going
Speaker 2: working on his night. Cheat.
Speaker 1: This is cheap cheat.
Speaker 2: And then he goes, I have to go. Your Mum's
Speaker 2: cooked me the dinner and Alex and I are still
Speaker 2: looking at him blankly, going, do you understand? Like my
Speaker 2: heart when I saw his car, we're morbid. We've always
Speaker 2: had morbid brains.
Speaker 1: Only car in the car park, only.
Speaker 2: Car sitting under a spotlight. It was like something you
Speaker 2: see in a movie. And I was like, Alex, he goes,
Speaker 2: don't say it, Do not say it to me. So
Speaker 2: we've had a full panic attack. My heart was in
Speaker 2: my mouth, and then I've never been more excited to
Speaker 2: hear my dad's voice, but also like I wanted to
Speaker 2: punch him, but hug him. It was a lot of emotions.
Speaker 3: I would have called the TA. Wouldn't you just be
Speaker 3: at the pub next door? That's the first place I would.
Speaker 2: Bet on horses having a beer in his best life. No,
Speaker 2: I just, oh my gosh, I've never been. And we
Speaker 2: just hugged him and hugged him, and he goes, oh,
Speaker 2: how's work, how's that lady? How's Oh my, we're about
Speaker 2: to pass it. I'm about to go into labor, are you.
Speaker 2: Oh well, I gotta go. I wonder what your mom's
Speaker 2: cook for dinner.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, So that was last night. It's the fault,
Speaker 1: you know, how you brought up the Sandwich Generation a
Speaker 1: few weeks ago.
Speaker 3: That's that, Like, you're worrying about your parents at the
Speaker 3: same time your four year olds are five year olds
Speaker 3: at home. Yeah, having a tantrum like fight.
Speaker 1: You're in the middle it.
Speaker 2: And Alex and I just drove home in silence. He goes,
Speaker 2: I thought that was that was it, And I was
Speaker 2: like same. I was really scared that we love our parents. Hey,
Speaker 2: you and I are so close to our parents, and
Speaker 2: the fact that my dad is just so oblivious. I
Speaker 2: love him more than anything. But it was literally like,
Speaker 2: why are you here? Because Dad, all your family have
Speaker 2: called you like twenty seven times that we were about
Speaker 2: to call that.
Speaker 1: It's been three and a half hours since your message
Speaker 1: was meant to.
Speaker 2: Because it takes Dad three and a half hours to
Speaker 2: have an hour massage because he's so slow.
Speaker 1: That is just so freaking funny.
Speaker 3: Dino time. I've traveled overseas with Dino. He's on Dino time,
Speaker 3: Like surprisingly for a man that's quite like slow to
Speaker 3: get around. Buffet Breakfast. He was the first there every morning.
Speaker 3: Oh god, at seven o'clock in the morning, we are
Speaker 3: run up. At nine it's only six feet of bacon
Speaker 3: and coffee where bacon's involved. Don't get the way. Oh
Speaker 3: that's funny. Okay, I'm so glad that he is, okay, because
Speaker 3: I love him.
Speaker 1: He's like, oh you're dad.
Speaker 2: Yeah that was that was a lot.
Speaker 1: That is a lot.
Speaker 3: Okay. Funnily enough, my mem is also on my parents.
Speaker 3: This is okay, this that's the theme of today. Then
Speaker 3: it's our parents, it's our parents.
Speaker 2: It's our families.
Speaker 3: Oh it's a different kind of gear though, talking about
Speaker 3: what we're talking talking.
Speaker 2: We're about my dad having message massages, and we're talking
Speaker 2: about your dad banging.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's so gross. Okay, I have an issue
Speaker 3: with this.
Speaker 1: My mom and dad. I love that they love each other.
Speaker 3: They they have been married for fifty something years, and
Speaker 3: Dad will still say, oh, look how hot your mom
Speaker 3: looks right now, Look how beautiful she is, And we'll
Speaker 3: walk in somewhere, and she is, she's beautiful. Studying He
Speaker 3: sees her as the moment he fell in love with her.
Speaker 3: He sees her as a twenty one year old and
Speaker 3: like he loved her so much, and gets threatened by
Speaker 3: other men as well. Still, oh, he thinks other people
Speaker 3: are looking at her. Of course he does, because she's
Speaker 3: the most beautiful in the room.
Speaker 2: My god, I love the way.
Speaker 3: Anyway, So Dad also is not a normal dad, which
Speaker 3: I'm very grateful for. He is very open about everything.
Speaker 3: He's like he's like a mom like I can talk
Speaker 3: to him about anything.
Speaker 1: Right. So the other day we were at soccer.
Speaker 3: We all went to watch my son and son play soccer,
Speaker 3: and then we all I went to work. They went
Speaker 3: home and he was meant to cut my mom's hair
Speaker 3: in the afternoon, because you know, when you're retired, you
Speaker 3: have one thing during the day.
Speaker 1: I have one.
Speaker 2: Appointment going to the optometry.
Speaker 1: What else are you doing? That's half an hour? What else?
Speaker 1: How else are you? What else are you doing for
Speaker 1: the rest of the day day? So I said to him, Mom,
Speaker 1: the next day, so do you get your haircut?
Speaker 3: No? And then Dad, because they when I talked to
Speaker 3: them on the phone, that's always together.
Speaker 1: They're like the Sidefeld parents.
Speaker 2: One phone in my phone it's Wayne and Rosa.
Speaker 3: Yeah and no even this morning you call them and
Speaker 3: white White, I've got to put your mother on speakers.
Speaker 1: You'll get annoyed at me. All right, Then Mom's.
Speaker 3: Hi, and they're both Anyway, I said, so what did
Speaker 3: you do after soccer? Did you cut mom's hair? And
Speaker 3: he's like, oh, wouldn't you want to know? And my
Speaker 3: mom's silent. At this point, I'm like, Dad, why with
Speaker 3: the weird inflection, I just said, did you cut mom's hair?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, no, we were too tired. If you know what,
Speaker 1: I know what I'm talking about, if you knew what
Speaker 1: we were doing.
Speaker 3: And then Mom's like, ohh Wayne, don't she doesn't need
Speaker 3: to know that. And then and then Mom goes he's
Speaker 3: just joking and goes, no, I'm not. I'm like, I
Speaker 3: love that you love each other, but I don't want
Speaker 3: to know no about you.
Speaker 2: I don't want to know that you're having sex during
Speaker 2: the day as well. Why are you having sex during
Speaker 2: the day. I can't wait to be retired and have
Speaker 2: like a twelve o'clock back. We have to wait until
Speaker 2: we're tired until eight o'clock at night.
Speaker 3: But then it gets worse because I put this on
Speaker 3: social media as a video because I was so traumatized
Speaker 3: by it, and then Dad decided to inbox you.
Speaker 2: Oh I've got that.
Speaker 1: I got a message, and this makes it so much worse.
Speaker 2: But you know what I love, he knows that he's
Speaker 2: messaging me, because I was kind of like, are you
Speaker 2: messaging Hailey? Or because I didn't know whether he knew
Speaker 2: what he was messaging. He was on the unfiltered he
Speaker 2: was on the unfiltered page. Where's Wayne? So you did
Speaker 2: a video on it? And he goes, ha ha, Haley,
Speaker 2: how do you think you got here? An immacular conception?
Speaker 2: Love you low? So I replied, I saw it pop
Speaker 2: up like him, Wayne, it's Lauren, You're so funny.
Speaker 1: To which Wayne encourage him.
Speaker 2: I just was expected like a love heartbag. But I
Speaker 2: get hi, lovely Lauren. It's so funny. When your parents
Speaker 2: talk about still having sex, their kids always say how disgusting.
Speaker 2: Funnily enough, the pleasure of intimacy and the love for
Speaker 2: each other is not just for the young to enjoy.
Speaker 2: It keeps on going until it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Ah, pleasure.
Speaker 2: He used the word he used to pleasure, and I
Speaker 2: just went I went, okay, bye Wayne, Bye see let Wayne? Yeah, Dad,
Speaker 2: that's too much. I didn't know what to say. What
Speaker 2: am I gonna say? Well, keep on pleasure, have fun, Wayne,
Speaker 2: have a great week.
Speaker 1: Oh god, See, everybody is cringing in here right. Nobody
Speaker 1: wants to know that it's so nice that they love
Speaker 1: each other.
Speaker 2: But I don't want to know that.
Speaker 3: Don't tell you, and don't tell my friends, and use
Speaker 3: the word intimacy and pleasure.
Speaker 2: But it was very like thought out, like it was
Speaker 2: a lovely message, like he was nice about it, love.
Speaker 1: That you didn't even like it, you were just like
Speaker 1: I just.
Speaker 2: Saw it and then put my phone in the bin
Speaker 2: and then went to sleep. No, And we've all got
Speaker 2: a memory of catching our parents and it literally sticks
Speaker 2: with you for life.
Speaker 1: Tell me about the moment you caught your pis.
Speaker 2: I've never seen a man. I've never seen a man
Speaker 2: fly through the air quicker dad, like Superman through the air.
Speaker 2: And then was like this, didn't you walk.
Speaker 1: Into go and get breakfast or something? I wear my eggs.
Speaker 2: I've always been demanding, see you think it's a thing now,
Speaker 2: ten year old? Wrong?
Speaker 1: Money? What you just want?
Speaker 3: I want to your Dad's like I'm already like a
Speaker 3: pancake on your mum.
Speaker 2: Stop. Stop. It's funny when it's your dad, but it's
Speaker 2: not funny when.
Speaker 4: It's Oh, you don't want to know about your dad. Okay,
Speaker 4: there's a rule we won't talk about that. We don't
Speaker 4: talk about parents bagging. But then the funny thing is
Speaker 4: they would feel the same about us. Like I swear
Speaker 4: to God, my dad protective. You were in virginal until
Speaker 4: I was like, I'm pregnant, and I remember his face.
Speaker 4: He just looked at me, yeah, and looked at my
Speaker 4: belly and I could see his little clocks.
Speaker 2: Going, holy shit, I a thirty year old. No, I'm
Speaker 2: thirty two, has had sex.
Speaker 1: Our dads are so protective, and that's how protect.
Speaker 3: How I get him back, I just say, well, you
Speaker 3: know that your daughter also does that stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that kills him.
Speaker 2: So I never forget Berger coming because I was living
Speaker 2: at home at the time. I'd move back home and
Speaker 2: I was thirty and Bergio had his little suitcase and
Speaker 2: walked through the kitchen and Dad just goes, you fucking thinks,
Speaker 2: so do you? And Berger like and yeah, and it
Speaker 2: just like runs into my room. Everybody.
Speaker 3: Jimmy was the first person that was allowed to sleep
Speaker 3: in my room, and I was twenty one before that.
Speaker 3: We had to have chairs if we were to go
Speaker 3: anywhere in my room, we had to have chairs with
Speaker 3: the door open, so if anyone will pass, we could
Speaker 3: Who's gonna sit on his loundroom dining room chair and
Speaker 3: your bedroom.
Speaker 1: Anyway, all right, enough of that, enough of our parents,
Speaker 1: We love you, love you. No more banging talk about
Speaker 1: our parents.
Speaker 3: Let's go into your big session. This is a therapy
Speaker 3: session for everyone, right, This.
Speaker 2: Is a bit of a therapy session because I think
Speaker 2: in our busy lives, with our phones, we forget to
Speaker 2: just stop and just think about our mental health. And
Speaker 2: our mental health is so important to us, and we
Speaker 2: just keep going, especially with kids, kids, family, partners, work,
Speaker 2: everything's going. And then I find, especially at the end
Speaker 2: of the day, I've got nothing left. And what Burge
Speaker 2: and I will do is we'll scroll. You sit in
Speaker 2: bed and you scroll in your phone. And I just
Speaker 2: I think that needs to change. I just it's not
Speaker 2: a healthy way of life. But we're all in this trap.
Speaker 2: We've got our phones next to our bed, We've got
Speaker 2: our phones in the kitchen, wherever we are, we've got
Speaker 2: our phone.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: So yesterday all of my family were kind of sitting
Speaker 2: around and we were talking, and Bergo just said, why
Speaker 2: don't we do something where we write down five things
Speaker 2: we want to stop and five things we want to start.
Speaker 2: And I was like, all right, Oprah, can't be.
Speaker 3: Bother and I don't think of anything. My brain is blavy. No,
Speaker 3: like I can't think of anything.
Speaker 1: I want to know me either.
Speaker 2: I was like five. I was like, give me some ideas. Okay,
Speaker 2: I want to read your mind. They might be silly,
Speaker 2: that's okay, Okay. So the five things I want to
Speaker 2: stop is not being present, putting things before family, not
Speaker 2: putting Lauren as a priority, not eating well and drinking
Speaker 2: enough water, and feeling anxious about things you can't control.
Speaker 1: I e.
Speaker 2: Wars, taxes in Afghanistan because I viral.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I look at these beautiful little girls overseas and
Speaker 2: I look at kids, and I look at wars and
Speaker 2: it physically.
Speaker 1: I know you do.
Speaker 3: You will send me stuff and I blocked that stuff
Speaker 3: because I can't let it.
Speaker 2: I can't change it.
Speaker 1: So painful.
Speaker 3: No, it's good to know that it exists, but not
Speaker 3: when it affects your own mental health. Here, there's nothing
Speaker 3: you can do about it. No, and in your own
Speaker 3: shit going on? Okay, let's start form number one again.
Speaker 1: What was it?
Speaker 2: Not being present?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: This is a hard one because when you run a business,
Speaker 3: your brain is constantly ticking over and when you're having
Speaker 3: conversations with people. I'm guilty of this one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: So if I'm thinking of other things, if.
Speaker 2: I'm playing Barbies, yeah, I'm sitting there, Like last night,
Speaker 2: I'm sitting there playing with Sofia, and I go, oh,
Speaker 2: Long's tables coming up two weeks seating plan. Actually, I
Speaker 2: think I'm going to change this person to this person,
Speaker 2: and this table to this table, and I actually need
Speaker 2: to message this table about this and and the live auction.
Speaker 2: I had the live auction in my head. Also, Fia
Speaker 2: wants me to do is play Barbies in that ten
Speaker 2: minutes of time I'm thinking about.
Speaker 1: It's really hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how do you stop?
Speaker 1: How you stop that?
Speaker 3: I think you just have to physically say stop thinking
Speaker 3: about that and actually try and pretend that I'm a
Speaker 3: Barbie and I'm in a Barbie dream world.
Speaker 2: She just wants me to put the shoes on the
Speaker 2: Barbie and the dresses, and she goes, this is Emily,
Speaker 2: this is Emily's pram, and this is why can't I.
Speaker 1: Just in this beautiful innocent world.
Speaker 2: Yes, I just want to be swept away in her little.
Speaker 3: I think most parents don't like the playing part of
Speaker 3: being a parent, like the imaginative play. I wish we did,
Speaker 3: And it's only because we've got so much other stuff
Speaker 3: rattling around in our brain that we don't have room
Speaker 3: to go. Okay, I'm just gonna do make believe right.
Speaker 1: Now, I know, but you're sure sad. Yeah, so try
Speaker 1: and hold yourself to that.
Speaker 2: Do you do that with your kids?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Of course?
Speaker 2: Oh ah, like af he loves Lego. Can you sit
Speaker 2: there and do Lego or just draw with him? Or
Speaker 2: do you get Yeah?
Speaker 3: I want him to draw because that's my escapism. I
Speaker 3: love that stuff. I can escape with that stuff. But
Speaker 3: when it's playing, like with like figurines and stuff, I'm
Speaker 3: the same. My brain is always thinking of other things.
Speaker 1: I do it all the time. My husband will be.
Speaker 3: Having conversation with me and I'm trying to focus on
Speaker 3: what he's saying, but I'm thinking about a million other
Speaker 3: things and they're.
Speaker 1: Being presently something different.
Speaker 3: Do you know what it is as well? It's putting
Speaker 3: your phone away. Yeah, and we did it. We went
Speaker 3: away the other week to borosso it was so nice
Speaker 3: and I put my phone. I left my phone away
Speaker 3: while we were having dinner and so when we were talking,
Speaker 3: I was just I was present.
Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking about anything else.
Speaker 3: I think when that's there, it's this weird temptation of like, oh,
Speaker 3: have I got a message. I need to do that,
Speaker 3: I need to write back to that person.
Speaker 1: It's just there.
Speaker 3: So maybe when you do play Barbies, leave your phone out.
Speaker 1: What's the second thing on your list?
Speaker 2: So the second thing was putting things before family, So
Speaker 2: I don't want to choose anything. Yeah, I always want
Speaker 2: family to come first, like I want Sophia Burgo my
Speaker 2: family to be first, which I'm getting better at.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the hard thing as well.
Speaker 3: Another thing about having your own business, there's so many
Speaker 3: perks of having your own business, but there's so much
Speaker 3: any negative things is that when you have your own business,
Speaker 3: you do have to and not even just when you're
Speaker 3: having any business, it's when you're you know, you love
Speaker 3: and there's nothing wrong with loving a career and loving
Speaker 3: what you're doing. There is sometimes you have to sacrifice things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we sacrifice so much at the beginning, like
Speaker 2: so many events and things as we were building. And
Speaker 2: now my biggest thing is like I will say no
Speaker 2: to something if it means looking in Sophia's eyes and
Speaker 2: saying I can't be with you, which I get now
Speaker 2: you used to get more.
Speaker 3: Can I can I tell you something that is and
Speaker 3: this is nothing against you, but it is something.
Speaker 1: That I really regret. And it's before you had kids,
Speaker 1: so you didn't realize. So we were.
Speaker 3: It was Austin's first sports day and you were going
Speaker 3: to go and host this thing at another school, but
Speaker 3: then you booked a ticket to go to America to
Speaker 3: see Burgo. It was the last minute thing, and so
Speaker 3: you said, I can't do this thing. You have to
Speaker 3: go and host this is Standford thing. And I said, oh,
Speaker 3: it's Austin's sports day and you said, oh, we don't
Speaker 3: want to let them down like you have to do it.
Speaker 1: And so I left.
Speaker 3: I went to Austin' sports day for a bit and
Speaker 3: then I left and I went to this thing. I
Speaker 3: sat there and I was at this other school and
Speaker 3: I was looking at these other kids on stage, and
Speaker 3: all I wanted to do was be at the sports day.
Speaker 1: And it's my biggest regret.
Speaker 3: And that's the one thing when when you're with people
Speaker 3: who don't have kids, that don't understand, they don't understand
Speaker 3: what you're missing out on And I always think of
Speaker 3: that as well. Now and I will say no, no,
Speaker 3: I'm going to go and watch this.
Speaker 1: I need. You need to say no to things you.
Speaker 2: Don't know until you have kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You Honestly, it is really hard to understand and fathom
Speaker 2: because in my head I would have been like, mate,
Speaker 2: you've got twelve sports day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, but you didn't get it.
Speaker 2: It was just I didn't get it, and you would
Speaker 2: have been like, are you joking?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but yeah, I just was like, yeah, I didn't
Speaker 3: want to let anyone down, so I was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I'll do that, but I regret doing that.
Speaker 1: I wish I didn't do that.
Speaker 2: If I tried to do that to you now you're
Speaker 2: a different person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, i'd say nup. Sorry.
Speaker 2: That comes with age being stronger. Yeah, both parties that
Speaker 2: you've always said. When you hit forty, you were, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you were a lot better at saying no. I think
Speaker 2: of thirty year old Hailey like in radio, can you
Speaker 2: do that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? That's the thing. No.
Speaker 3: One who's really really successful in life, if you, and
Speaker 3: it depends how you measure success, but someone that's doing
Speaker 3: really well at their job, they've all had to sacrifice stuff.
Speaker 3: You have to say yes to everything to get where
Speaker 3: they are. So you just got to work out what
Speaker 3: you want to sacrifice, what's worth missing out on.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, And at the beginning of starting a business
Speaker 2: there is a lot of sacrificing and then you can
Speaker 2: start to kind of slow down a little bit with
Speaker 2: that sacrificing stuff, especially on the weekend.
Speaker 1: Oh so totally. That's why don't do weekends. Weekends the kids,
Speaker 1: that's my family time.
Speaker 2: But that could also be Wednesday day, could be Wednesday sport, like,
Speaker 2: that's my non negotiable or whatever. You just got to
Speaker 2: work out what you're.
Speaker 3: It's also like, that's why when you go to swimming,
Speaker 3: I'm like, go to swimming, don't miss it.
Speaker 1: Don't miss out on that.
Speaker 2: Because their little face looks up when she does something,
Speaker 2: and then you won't do swimming forever, and then you'll
Speaker 2: miss it not being there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, that's a good one.
Speaker 2: Not putting Lauren as a priority.
Speaker 1: You don't. You never put your na ever.
Speaker 2: But no name, mom's a duke. I'm sorry. If Sofia
Speaker 2: is sick, doctor, dentist, whatever I need to do, I'm
Speaker 2: making that appointment. She's going, what do we do? You
Speaker 2: and I are literally on our deathbeds and we're like.
Speaker 1: Let's talk me about your iron tablets. Have you got
Speaker 1: them yet?
Speaker 3: You haven't, Luren, No, you always put yourself last. If
Speaker 3: that was so fear that needed iron tablets, what would
Speaker 3: you be doing or Burgo?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Or me guys, I'm a mnemic and I've known
Speaker 2: for three weeks through pregnancy and haven't got my tablet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I was going to bring you my tablets,
Speaker 3: but I didn't know if they were pregnancy safe ones.
Speaker 1: You have to go there today.
Speaker 2: I know, but I just I just go.
Speaker 1: But it's you have a baby in you, I know.
Speaker 2: So that's one.
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, I don't I think you're going to struggle
Speaker 3: with that one because I think that's a normal Nate
Speaker 3: thing to to never really put.
Speaker 2: Yourself, especially now a baby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know you baby comes fair. Yeah, thing like that.
Speaker 2: That's why we won't stop not eating well and drinking
Speaker 2: more water. That's that's just been at the moment. Some
Speaker 2: days I just want to eat lollies.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's okay, Well are you going to do that?
Speaker 3: Start that from when you have the baby.
Speaker 2: I just want to be a bit better. Like I've
Speaker 2: been eating.
Speaker 1: I'm really really good.
Speaker 2: But when say, before I was pregnant, if I want
Speaker 2: to eat the lollies and the chocolate, so I was stopping.
Speaker 2: But whereas now I'm like eating for two. Like I've
Speaker 2: just got this mentality like Twitter, go to Yoche and
Speaker 2: I couldn't eating for.
Speaker 1: But you haven't put it anyway.
Speaker 3: Your mom came over the other day with like all
Speaker 3: these bakers like scones, Oh my god, they're my favorite,
Speaker 3: the lemon and white chocolate ones, and the blueberry and
Speaker 3: white chocolate and the chocolate and the day.
Speaker 2: And I was like, Mum, I could have I think
Speaker 2: I had three.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I last. It's like hot chips. That's the one
Speaker 1: thing I start. I cannot stop.
Speaker 2: Cannot stop hot chips.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sounds like that.
Speaker 2: No, And then you know me, I have half, and
Speaker 2: then I have another half, and then I have another
Speaker 2: half and then another half. And you don't have any
Speaker 2: halfs about it. It's actually my dad's trick.
Speaker 1: He doesn't You do it all the time.
Speaker 2: If you take half and then people go, oh, he's
Speaker 2: watching his mate. You take another half, You take another half.
Speaker 2: You've had one and a half, but no one knows.
Speaker 2: I see you do that all the time. I know
Speaker 2: because I'm like, because body will go into the bread
Speaker 2: and there's like a half a piece ripped. He goes,
Speaker 2: I do that too, Why would you rip half a piece?
Speaker 2: I'm like one and a half when I was having
Speaker 2: a half because you know, I just don't really eat
Speaker 2: a lot. You know, it's half piece of bread. That
Speaker 2: was my lunches sandwhich half feets of bread? He goes,
Speaker 2: did you have three and a half or four and
Speaker 2: a half? But what did you have my just half?
Speaker 1: You never had a half, never half, because you've still before.
Speaker 2: Thing I need to stop is the feeling anxious. Everyone
Speaker 2: I'm talking to at the moment is feeling anxious.
Speaker 1: Is because of everything in the world, everything from.
Speaker 2: Like politics to wars, to budgets to everything.
Speaker 3: Where you bring back your nonomacing and bring it back
Speaker 3: to basics and go, Okay, I'm just gonna look around
Speaker 3: and think how grateful I am for everything that I have.
Speaker 3: I have a beautiful house, I have healthy kids, My
Speaker 3: parents are okay, Burgo is great.
Speaker 1: I have a job that I love. Think of all
Speaker 1: the good things.
Speaker 2: But it's it's everything that's out of control. So my
Speaker 2: whole thing that we were talking about yessay as a
Speaker 2: family is you can only control your immediate family. So
Speaker 2: I need to make sure that I'm there for my kid. Yeah,
Speaker 2: everything is safe and healthy. And I'm doing that because
Speaker 2: I can't actually, but it's really hard to stop yourself
Speaker 2: when you get into that spiraling on social media and everything.
Speaker 2: You see all this stuff, and it's very hard for
Speaker 2: me to just put it away. I really struggle.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So you you love politics, So if you're reading about
Speaker 3: what's going on in the world at the moment with politics,
Speaker 3: I imagine that that seeps into you because you won't
Speaker 3: be able to stop no going down that rabbit hole.
Speaker 2: Yes, I get very angry.
Speaker 1: About lies and things like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, people laying to the people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 2: I am already stressed out by it. Especially I already
Speaker 2: get small business when it's going to affect us, Like
Speaker 2: everyone's trying to do their best, So you can't control
Speaker 2: it anyway. So I'll go to start.
Speaker 1: Okay, what are you going to start?
Speaker 2: What's the one thing that you do when you're to
Speaker 2: make yourself happy.
Speaker 1: I know you're going to say singing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, years you paint. I need to sing, so they
Speaker 2: need to do it. Yeah, I haven't done it for
Speaker 2: thirteen years.
Speaker 1: What's something else?
Speaker 2: Seeing the joy in the little things? Because sometimes you
Speaker 2: and I are culprits. I put you in like your
Speaker 2: my brain.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I see the joy and little things. I'm
Speaker 1: at that stage.
Speaker 3: But I also think that's an age thing because I
Speaker 3: didn't see it when I was my thirties.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I also like, when do we ever celebrate
Speaker 2: the winds?
Speaker 1: We never do, never.
Speaker 3: But that's also the That's also why I think we've worked,
Speaker 3: because we just keep moving on on and wanting like
Speaker 3: we never feeling to never go.
Speaker 2: No, like nothing's ever enough. We've got to keep moving,
Speaker 2: got to keep going. There's no time to stop, right.
Speaker 2: But it's it's also in personal life. In work life,
Speaker 2: it's driving You ever want to be settled in work
Speaker 2: life because then you become stagnant. But in personal life.
Speaker 1: I think you're getting better at that.
Speaker 3: You're you're you're so more grounded and you're grateful with
Speaker 3: what you have. Now you think you're better at that.
Speaker 3: You see the joy in of you Burgo and Sophia
Speaker 3: now just.
Speaker 2: Walking and being Yeah, but I really want to put
Speaker 2: an emphasis on that, yeah, and emphasis and emphasis on
Speaker 2: the other syllable. Put phone in another room from five
Speaker 2: to seven, I started doing it. Stop, Okay, having a phone.
Speaker 1: Ban in bed.
Speaker 2: Beds are for one thing. I won't do that.
Speaker 3: That's your favorite thing is scrolling in bed. It's my
Speaker 3: favorite thing too. It's a relaxing thing. You shouldn't though,
Speaker 3: I know, but like I love it.
Speaker 2: I just shouldn't have your phone next to your brain
Speaker 2: in your back.
Speaker 1: We've started with the kids.
Speaker 3: We charge all their stuff out of their room now,
Speaker 3: but I still charge my phone below my bed.
Speaker 1: I know it's supposed.
Speaker 2: To be like a minimum a meter away. It needs
Speaker 2: to be away from you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but will you do it?
Speaker 2: Oh, it's written down. We're having it. We're having another
Speaker 2: family meeting of four weeks to check in on our
Speaker 2: Oh that's really good.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: And they were only little. Like my mom's was like,
Speaker 2: stop eating sugar, stop beating chocolate. I'm my mum. That
Speaker 2: is the same thing she goes. But I need to
Speaker 2: write it twice so I really get it into me.
Speaker 3: But also, if you put it out there in the world,
Speaker 3: then you're accountable for it.
Speaker 2: Yes, this is like just a nice family thing of
Speaker 2: keeping each other accountable. And then my number four was
Speaker 2: make more time to be with Burgo coffee walks and
Speaker 2: slowing down.
Speaker 3: Was five, just which you will now because you're about
Speaker 3: to have a baby and.
Speaker 2: And I can't walk so I'm slow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he'll be here wheeling you around in some form
Speaker 1: of card.
Speaker 2: Grapes into my mouth, like what did you call me before?
Speaker 2: Brendan Fraser from the Whale, just pushing me around, rolling
Speaker 2: me out like he will get a stick so you
Speaker 2: can proden me out of bed. No, this is when you've.
Speaker 3: Had the baby, because you're having a c section, so
Speaker 3: you won't be able to do much walking.
Speaker 1: No, do you know?
Speaker 2: So when this podcast airs, I've got three eggs?
Speaker 1: Yeah I know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know if I'm ready for it or
Speaker 3: maybe I am. I just wanted to hurry up and happen,
Speaker 3: and then you come back three weeks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's crazy. I'm so excited. I can't to ask you.
Speaker 2: Is anything you want to stop in your life? Is
Speaker 2: there anything that's getting to you that I need to
Speaker 2: hold you accountable for?
Speaker 3: Or I want to I've started exercising, but not enough.
Speaker 3: I want to do more. I want to do more
Speaker 3: weights and I want to I keep putting that off
Speaker 3: because I know it makes you feel really good.
Speaker 2: So stop putting off exercising and waits for your health.
Speaker 3: I'm doing, I'm doing, I'm exercising, but I want to
Speaker 3: do more weights. I want to make myself do it
Speaker 3: every single day and be stronger, Be stronger, stronger, that's
Speaker 3: all I want. I don't want it to lose weight.
Speaker 3: I just want to be It's a feeling and I
Speaker 3: want to feel stronger. Yeah, like that feeling when I
Speaker 3: was doing pilarates all the time.
Speaker 1: I love that feeling. There's no better feeling.
Speaker 2: I haven't had that feeling since pre Sophia five years
Speaker 2: because I'm scared of Do you ever get scared of
Speaker 2: not being the strength you were? So if you went
Speaker 2: back now to the polarates that you were doing and
Speaker 2: you couldn't do what you feel?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Do you know what I do in the shower?
Speaker 3: Well, I do fifty squats in every shower like I
Speaker 3: do thirty and then I have a little break and
Speaker 3: then I do twenty more in the shower and I
Speaker 3: have to do it.
Speaker 1: It's an OCD thing. Before I get out.
Speaker 3: So it's one thing that I do like if I go,
Speaker 3: I'm trying to build.
Speaker 1: Up more muscle in my legs. I want my legs
Speaker 1: to be really.
Speaker 2: Just imagining you like nude, show me to show.
Speaker 1: You I got like this.
Speaker 3: I go full full nude, and then I go like
Speaker 3: all the way down, all the way out, one all
Speaker 3: the way down.
Speaker 2: I'm hearing your knees cross my knees, am.
Speaker 1: I hip.
Speaker 2: Ah, Oh my gosh, Okay, be stronger. What the things
Speaker 2: you want to start doing?
Speaker 1: We're still going on this.
Speaker 2: Yes, I don't know. You be put on the spot.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I have to think about my list. I'll digest yours.
Speaker 2: Okay, everyone at home, do it. It's really good for
Speaker 2: your brain that or you want to stop what you
Speaker 2: want to start and just actually writing it down and.
Speaker 3: Writing it down physically. You've written down in a paper.
Speaker 3: And so we've left them all together. They're all sitting there,
Speaker 3: and then in four weeks, just before I have bubbs,
Speaker 3: we're checking in. That's really good. Okay, I'll hold you
Speaker 3: accountable as well. All right, I want to talk about
Speaker 3: this is very insul of this podcast, but I want
Speaker 3: to talk about Sophia. You're a little baby girl who's
Speaker 3: just turned five. And I feel emotional talking about it
Speaker 3: because I know a lot of friends like you know,
Speaker 3: you love your friends kids and you do, you really
Speaker 3: care about them. But there's something about Sophia that I
Speaker 3: just love so much.
Speaker 2: You've had a past life connection with that.
Speaker 3: I've had a weird past life connection with her, and
Speaker 3: she loves you, and I don't know what it is.
Speaker 3: I just I think before you had her, I'm a
Speaker 3: boy mum, and and in like take no offense to this,
Speaker 3: but I never thought that I would connect with a girl.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I think I'm just used to boys.
Speaker 1: I love my boys. And then she came along, and
Speaker 1: I just.
Speaker 3: I think because I've you've probably had a lot of
Speaker 3: ups and downs over the last couple of years, and
Speaker 3: I feel like I've I have this real closeness to
Speaker 3: her that I just I just love her.
Speaker 1: I love her so much.
Speaker 3: And I'm an I guess I'm an auntie to ten
Speaker 3: other kids or nine other kids, and I love them all.
Speaker 3: They're amazing, beautiful. I'm so proud of them all. But
Speaker 3: because I don't have a my brother passed away, I
Speaker 3: don't have any blood related, like I'm not anyone's actual auntie.
Speaker 3: But that makes me sad, and I feel like so
Speaker 3: Fear is my blood even though she's like so far removed, but.
Speaker 2: I see you as my sister. Oh so you are,
Speaker 2: You're not far removed. Who was our family for her birthday?
Speaker 2: It's all of my family and you and Jimmy and
Speaker 2: the boys, because you're our family.
Speaker 1: I love that that.
Speaker 3: Every time so He has a birthday, you have your
Speaker 3: friend party, and then you have your family party, and
Speaker 3: my family rocks up to your family party.
Speaker 2: I feel like.
Speaker 3: She's family and I really care about her so much,
Speaker 3: and so I've written her a little letter.
Speaker 1: Before oh no, before baby two comes. I just wanted
Speaker 1: to Oh God, it's going to be such a change
Speaker 1: for her.
Speaker 3: Ah, Okay, are you ready, I'm gonna read a little
Speaker 3: letter so that my little baby's Sofia. Because a psychic
Speaker 3: said to us once that Sophia in a past life,
Speaker 3: I had two children and Sophia was one of them,
Speaker 3: and I died, And so that's why Sophia always clings
Speaker 3: on to me because she doesn't want me to go.
Speaker 3: So whenever I it's a weird hug thing like when
Speaker 3: Sofia hugs me, it's like, you know, when you feel.
Speaker 1: That heart to heart connection, you feel that love.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you remember that night at the park side
Speaker 2: She was like clung to you like a koala, and
Speaker 2: she goes, Mom, I just want to live with Auntie
Speaker 2: Haley and you and Dad could come and visit.
Speaker 1: I was like, I love that you can come visit.
Speaker 1: I just yeah, I love her.
Speaker 3: I love that she's a mixture of you and Burjo. Okay, ready,
Speaker 3: this is a little alert as being an honorary auntie,
Speaker 3: because being an auntie is I think so spelal. And
Speaker 3: it also shows that you don't have to really blood
Speaker 3: related to love someone that much, do you, Sophia, Before
Speaker 3: your little baby sister arrives, there are a few things
Speaker 3: I want you to know.
Speaker 1: Huh you see?
Speaker 3: Ah God, oh stop say something funny that I'll laugh
Speaker 3: hate us.
Speaker 1: You see.
Speaker 3: I never imagined that I could love another child so
Speaker 3: much that I didn't actually give birth to. But then
Speaker 3: there was you. You came along and my heart exploded.
Speaker 3: I love your freckles, I love your big cloud cheeks.
Speaker 3: I love that when I say something exciting, your little
Speaker 3: face lights up. Your eyes twinkle and you freeze and
Speaker 3: you gasp, and then you break into this little smile
Speaker 3: with cheeky side eyes. You've always done that. I love
Speaker 3: that you sit at my kitchen bench and you tell
Speaker 3: me about your boyfriend and all the important things that
Speaker 3: are happening in your little world. But more than anything
Speaker 3: so fair, I love your hugs. When you hug me,
Speaker 3: I feel it. You're like a clip on koala. They're
Speaker 3: the most meaningful hugs. Every time you run over to
Speaker 3: me and you wrap your arms around me, I know
Speaker 3: you feel safe, and that means everything. The moment I
Speaker 3: knew we had a real connection was at your mum's
Speaker 3: house and you were about one. You had this massive tantrum,
Speaker 3: tears everything. Lauren came in and scooped you up, and
Speaker 3: as she carried you away down the hallway, you looked
Speaker 3: back at me and smiled like an evil little dictator.
Speaker 1: You knew that I was in on it.
Speaker 3: It was you and I versus your mom, Sophia. Soon
Speaker 3: your world is going to get a little bigger. There's
Speaker 3: going to be another little, tiny person to love, another
Speaker 3: little hand to hold, and things will be different, And
Speaker 3: sometimes change can feel a bit funny, but I need
Speaker 3: you to know this. Nothing can ever change how loved
Speaker 3: you are by your mom, your dad, your Pa, your granny, anny,
Speaker 3: your nana, your nana and me and all your aunties
Speaker 3: and uncles. You will always be the little girl with
Speaker 3: freckles and cloud cheeks who stole a piece of my
Speaker 3: heart without even trying.
Speaker 2: Here.
Speaker 1: So lucky to have you. Thank you for letting me
Speaker 1: be your honorary aunt. I love you.
Speaker 2: Oh I'd get a talking by can't.
Speaker 1: No, and I just can't and I have no excuse.
Speaker 1: Love your little baby, and I'm gonna love your new
Speaker 1: baby just as much.
Speaker 2: Sophie. So lucky to have you and I get to
Speaker 2: have her, hopefully the night before and the night before
Speaker 2: we have bubbs. She literally says that most days in
Speaker 2: the car, so I'm going Auntie, Haley's right because she
Speaker 2: lets me stap all night. I'm like, does she she
Speaker 2: is the boss when she's in my head, she's the
Speaker 2: bossy you do, That's be honest.
Speaker 1: She's so funny.
Speaker 2: Do you remember me saying to you when we started
Speaker 2: ade lady and there was Alfie kme everywhere, And I
Speaker 2: said to you, what if I because I loved Alphie
Speaker 2: more than anything. What if I can't love my own
Speaker 2: I couldn't comprehend because I loved him so much.
Speaker 3: Do you know what you and Burgo were about to experience?
Speaker 3: When you love your first child so much you cannot
Speaker 3: imagine another child and loving them just as much. But
Speaker 3: then they come into the world and you will never
Speaker 3: imagine life without them. You will go I don't even
Speaker 3: remember those years when it was the three of us.
Speaker 1: It's like, now we're complete, We've got the four of us.
Speaker 1: This is our family.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so weird how your heart just doubles when
Speaker 3: you meet the new one.
Speaker 1: But Sophia will always be this special little thin She
Speaker 1: was the first grandchild as well, wasn't she.
Speaker 2: She's like the first She saved She saved us. She
Speaker 2: bought so much love. She didn't even realize what she
Speaker 2: was doing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's really nice anyway.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry for the tears. Sometimes you get podcasts with
Speaker 3: tears and sometimes you get them with laughs.
Speaker 2: Last week is a little bit of man.
Speaker 1: Last week was just we were off the rails.
Speaker 2: Oh that was a lot. I thought Millie was going
Speaker 2: to fire us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so but we're back.
Speaker 2: We got written warnings, but we're back now, we've learn.
Speaker 1: And we're getting the wrap up because we've been talking to.
Speaker 2: That and Millie. Please make sure you leave a review
Speaker 2: on Spotify or Apple.
Speaker 1: It would be really nice.
Speaker 2: Last week we said not to and that was another
Speaker 2: strongly worded email.
Speaker 3: We got into trouble. Yeah, so please like, do a
Speaker 3: five star review. That really lovely?
Speaker 2: All right, gotta god love you