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Speaker 1: Apodjay Production. Welcome to the she Riseres Podcast.

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Speaker 2: I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female

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Speaker 2: empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and

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Speaker 2: most authentic version of yourself.

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Speaker 3: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone

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Speaker 3: else is too afraid to talk about.

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Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self.

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Speaker 3: Hello everybody, Welcome back to she Risers. Back with Ashy

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Speaker 3: and Tiana and we have a bit of a wild episode.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, get your popcorn. Sit down.

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Speaker 3: A little while ago, Tiana and I took a little

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Speaker 3: trip and we went away and we did ayahuascar dun

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Speaker 3: dun du, dun dun du.

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Speaker 1: If you don't know.

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Speaker 3: What ayahuasca is, it is a plant based medicine psychedelicas.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people would.

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Speaker 3: Explain it was used for healing, for expansion, cracking open,

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Speaker 3: just getting your ego out of the way and getting

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Speaker 3: to know the deeper parts of yourself. You never know

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Speaker 3: what's going to come forward and surf. A lot of

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Speaker 3: people think that it's really dark and scary, and it

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Speaker 3: can be, and it can also be our experience was

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Speaker 3: really light and beautiful and enjoyable and pleasura rule. So

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Speaker 3: we're going to talk about our experience that we had

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Speaker 3: we are which was so cool.

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Speaker 2: The way that they explained it to us when we

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Speaker 2: first went and sat down was this is going to

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Speaker 2: open your heart and drop your ego. Yes, and I

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Speaker 2: thought that was a really cool thing to note. And

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Speaker 2: with this plant medicine, it's very psychoactive. There's a psychoactive

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Speaker 2: element where you do have visuals and you you know,

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Speaker 2: have a mental trip. So you're in the room that

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Speaker 2: you're in when you're surrounded by other people, you're not

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Speaker 2: allowed to touch each other, you know, a lot of

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Speaker 2: corked with each other, interact. You're just fully in your

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Speaker 2: own journey. Like we had eyemasks and blankets and pillows

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Speaker 2: and we really had to like go within in that journey.

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Speaker 1: So and it actually, so I Steve explained it too.

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Speaker 3: We actually have this DMT activation in our brain already,

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Speaker 3: so it's completely natural. It's not altered or anything like.

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Speaker 3: It's actually like a plant. So yeah, let's get into it.

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Speaker 3: We decided to do this a little while ago. We

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Speaker 3: were hesitaned with her to talk about it. On the

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Speaker 3: podcast and they were like, fuck, it was such an

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Speaker 3: amazing experience. We got so much out of it. Now,

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Speaker 3: this is the second time that I have done it.

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Speaker 3: Steve's n up multiple times. Every experience is so different. Now,

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Speaker 3: you were quite scared going into it, and a walk

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Speaker 3: us through your thought process, and you had actually booked

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Speaker 3: it in another time, didn't feel ready, Yeah, and then yeah,

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Speaker 3: tell us walk us through your experience.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, so maybe we can share little bits of our

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Speaker 2: experience and go yeah deftly. So I've wanted to do

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Speaker 2: Ayahuascar for a good four years now, and every single

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Speaker 2: time there's probably about three separate times where I had

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Speaker 2: gone to book it and I had left a deposit,

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Speaker 2: I was even going to fly to a specific location,

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Speaker 2: and like, there was multiple things that I was going

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Speaker 2: to do and I tried and it failed every time.

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Speaker 2: But what I realized now that I've now done it

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Speaker 2: for the first time is that I just wasn't ready

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Speaker 2: and so everything kind of fell through the way that

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Speaker 2: it was meant to. And so leading up to this time,

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Speaker 2: we had actually planned to do it another time, so

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Speaker 2: sometime last year and it just fell through. For whatever reason,

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Speaker 2: I ended up pulling out last minute, and I just

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Speaker 2: wasn't ready now this time coming into it, And when

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Speaker 2: we had planned to go, I felt really grounded coming

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Speaker 2: into it. Yeah, Like for some reason, it just felt

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Speaker 2: like the right time. So when we started talking about it,

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Speaker 2: we were like should we do this? And then we

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Speaker 2: were like, yeah, We're doing this. This is it, this

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Speaker 2: is the time. And I remember feeling really grounded going

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Speaker 2: into it, but I also did still feel fearful. Yes,

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Speaker 2: like I was still scared because for me, it's very

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Speaker 2: much that letting go of control. And I obviously don't

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Speaker 2: drink and don't do drugs, and there's a reason why

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Speaker 2: I do that is because one I don't like being

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Speaker 2: out of control and two it's not for me anymore.

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Speaker 2: But this was a deeper purpose. There was more intention,

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Speaker 2: and it was about, yeah, going into this with the

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Speaker 2: intention of like, Okay, I'm here to look at any

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Speaker 2: blind spot that I have in my life that I

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Speaker 2: am missing or not paying attention to, or really being

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Speaker 2: able to discover where it is that I'm currently limiting

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Speaker 2: myself in my life. And I had an inkling of

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Speaker 2: what was going to come up for me and the

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Speaker 2: things that I had gone into thinking of in this

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Speaker 2: experience was to some degree, I was going to heal

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Speaker 2: some sexual trauma. Then something about not fully feeling chosen

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Speaker 2: in my relationships and why that happens, and how I

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Speaker 2: can reconnect with myself, and then just curiosity as well,

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Speaker 2: like curiosity of what might come up.

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Speaker 3: And then for me, I've done it once before and

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Speaker 3: I had a very similar experience in feeling around it.

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to surrender to it because once again,

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Speaker 3: I don't drink, I don't do drugs, and I'm like

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Speaker 3: being out of control. So I was very fearful of that.

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Speaker 3: And the first time I did it, I definitely had

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Speaker 3: an experience and things came up and I learned things,

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Speaker 3: but I would pull myself out of it and I

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Speaker 3: would take my eyemusk off and I'd be nosy what

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Speaker 3: was happening with other people, and I really drop and

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Speaker 3: surrender and get the full experience. So this time going in,

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Speaker 3: I was like, I am fully going in. I am

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Speaker 3: not going to resist this, I'm not scared like I

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Speaker 3: was nervous for what might come up. There's obviously potential

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Speaker 3: that you could vomit and purge, and the other end

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Speaker 3: as well, you feel sick the actual medicine tastes disgusting.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 3: I describe it as mud mixed with Chinese herbs and

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Speaker 3: with a bit of licorice too.

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Speaker 2: And she's very on the money with that.

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Speaker 3: It's awful and it's thick and sluggish, like I have

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Speaker 3: a body like shake when I drink it.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, this time I was like, I'm fully going

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Speaker 1: to surrender.

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Speaker 3: I felt ready as well, Like when the dates came up,

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Speaker 3: we were like, yep, that's just the date we're going

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Speaker 3: to do it. Locked it in came around and it

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Speaker 3: was a beautiful experience. I wanted to go in not

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Speaker 3: with a full intention, more just like open to whatever

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Speaker 3: my mother Ayahuascar thinks I need. She's going to provide

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Speaker 3: for me, and I'm going to trust that and go

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Speaker 3: with that and flow with that, and I'm excited to

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Speaker 3: see what comes up for me. So yeah, what came

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Speaker 3: up for me in the first most of the day

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Speaker 3: was a lot of really empowering sexual energy. And I

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Speaker 3: didn't think this would come through, which I don't know

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Speaker 3: why I didn't think it would come through like Steve

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Speaker 3: thought it might, because I feel, I mean feeling myself

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Speaker 3: on this path of rediscovering who I really am at

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Speaker 3: my core the last season and a lot of change

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Speaker 3: just happened, and I felt like my whole life, I've

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Speaker 3: put myself in a box of being like quote unquote,

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Speaker 3: the good girl and not slutty, not dirty. People will

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Speaker 3: respect me and love me more if I don't have

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Speaker 3: a big count and I don't sleep around.

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Speaker 1: And I'm just seen as the good girl.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And what I've learned this last year especially, I suppose,

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Speaker 3: is that putting myself in a box like that really

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Speaker 3: prevents me from fully expressing who I am authentically sexually

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Speaker 3: in my day to day, everyday life. And a big

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Speaker 3: word for me this year, one of my words was pleasure.

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Speaker 3: But then here I am putting myself in a box

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Speaker 3: of what I can and can't do, and who I

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Speaker 3: can and can't be, and what I can and can't speak.

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Speaker 1: Of or feel or experience.

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Speaker 3: So I've already been leaning more into that and just

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Speaker 3: having bigger conversations with Steve, and our sexual chemistry at

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Speaker 3: the moment is beautiful and we're exploring things together and

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Speaker 3: having bigger conversations. And I was already on that path,

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Speaker 3: and then with ayahuasca that fully came through and It

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Speaker 3: was so beautiful because I felt like I finally cracked

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Speaker 3: open and let go of that old story that I

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Speaker 3: need to be a certain way and I can just

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Speaker 3: fully be whatever that is and I get to explore

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Speaker 3: that without shame or guilt. I was really in it,

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Speaker 3: And just to give you a visual, which Steve can

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Speaker 3: explain very well, because you're all lying in this room

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Speaker 3: and most people have iyemars on blankets, cushions. There's about

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Speaker 3: twelve of us in the room. There's a facilitator, he

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Speaker 3: has three people supporting. There's music all day. You don't

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Speaker 3: interact with anyone, and I could feel myself just starting

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Speaker 3: to move my body and then starting to take some bigger,

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Speaker 3: heavier breaths. And I don't know, I must have been

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Speaker 3: a course over a couple of hours. I'm assuming the

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Speaker 3: breath's got heavier, my movements got bigger. I took my

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Speaker 3: jacket off, I was starting to play with my straps

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Speaker 3: of my sports bruh. My breasts were getting heavier, and

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Speaker 3: I was just really enjoying it. The way I can

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Speaker 3: describe is every breath felt like the peak of when

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Speaker 3: I was about to climax. Yeah, it felt like I

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Speaker 3: was almost like mirroring an orgasm. So as you can imagine,

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Speaker 3: this felt beautiful and freeing and pleasurable, and I wanted

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Speaker 3: more of it. And every breath my body moves in

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Speaker 3: a different way, and I was having beautiful visuals and

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Speaker 3: like fantasies were coming to life, and I could see things,

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Speaker 3: and Steve's obviousie right next to me too, so I

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Speaker 3: could feel his energy, and I was replaying scenarios that

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Speaker 3: me and him have played out together and different sexual

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Speaker 3: experiences we've had together, and it was.

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Speaker 1: Just it was a lot of fun.

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Speaker 3: But then one of the facilitators came over and said,

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Speaker 3: how do you feel about going into a room by yourself?

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Speaker 3: So I'm assuming that my breaths were getting louder and

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Speaker 3: my movements were getting bigger. And afterwards they did communicate

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Speaker 3: with me that they did pull me away, one to

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Speaker 3: give me a full experience by myself. If I was

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Speaker 3: going to go there, I could do it freely without.

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Speaker 1: Disturbing other people.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And two just in case there was someone in

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Speaker 3: the room that might have felt uncomfortable with that. But however,

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Speaker 3: upon reflection being pulled out of that state, it pulled

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Speaker 3: me out of my state, so when I went into

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Speaker 3: this room, I tried to go back into it, but

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Speaker 3: I was already out of it. And then we're having

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Speaker 3: someone right next to me in the room. I was like,

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Speaker 3: this just feels a bit awkward. Yeah, And so that

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Speaker 3: kind of passed for me, and I've just given feedback

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Speaker 3: to the facilitator because he was worried that it ruined

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Speaker 3: my experience.

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Speaker 1: And on the day I was like, no, no, like,

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Speaker 1: I can see why you did that.

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Speaker 2: Da da da.

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Speaker 3: And then I was talking to Taylor, my coach, and

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Speaker 3: he's also done it, and he kind of disagreed. He's like,

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Speaker 3: I don't think they should have pulled you out of that,

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Speaker 3: because if someone's crying or screaming or having their own experience,

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Speaker 3: they don't pull them out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.

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Speaker 3: That's their experience, and that's you're in a group environment.

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Speaker 3: Everyone's going to have their own experience. This isn't Asaulo like,

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Speaker 3: you're not there by yourself. It's kind of like your

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Speaker 3: responsibility is to go internal and stay internal and not

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Speaker 3: get distracted by what's going on.

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Speaker 1: Truly internal, you're.

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Speaker 3: Not and I felt that on the day. But for

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Speaker 3: them to pull me away for having some louder breaths.

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Speaker 3: I'm a little bit upset about. I'm like, damn it,

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Speaker 3: I feel like I didn't get the full experience as

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Speaker 3: to what that could have been for me.

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Speaker 2: Because it was like that was your experience for a reason,

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Speaker 2: and that comings it and you experiencing that.

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Speaker 1: So you feel like I've been robbout that now.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I do still feel way more anchored in

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Speaker 3: my sexuality and way more excited for the future of

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Speaker 3: what I can feel, and even just the power of breath,

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Speaker 3: Like how good breathing felt, and it really made me

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Speaker 3: want to slow down my everyday movements and also when

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Speaker 3: I'm intimate with Steve as well, just to slow down.

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Speaker 3: And I enjoy the whole experience with Steve, but even

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Speaker 3: more so, I feel like the more that you breathe,

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Speaker 3: the slower you are, the more central it is, the

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Speaker 3: more you feel, the more build up.

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Speaker 1: It's just way better.

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Speaker 3: So I definitely took a lot away from it that

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Speaker 3: I'm super grateful for and I feel a lot more

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Speaker 3: anchored in it, and I feel like any sexual shame

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Speaker 3: that I did have, it's just dissolved way.

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Speaker 1: I love that, Like, why the hell would I feel shame?

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Speaker 3: Around pleasure, and we were talking about like the way

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Speaker 3: up here, like these conversations I don't know I having

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Speaker 3: around sex and sexuality and exploring and curiosity. We're like

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Speaker 3: everyone has these and everyone wants to do this stuff.

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Speaker 1: Why is it so to boom?

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Speaker 2: But no one's talking about it. It's like, whow we

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Speaker 2: all have this dirty little secret that no one talks

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Speaker 2: about and pretends that we don't do. But like we

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Speaker 2: of course all have sexual experiences, fantasies, we all orgasm,

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Speaker 2: we all want a climax, we all experience pleasure in

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Speaker 2: our own way, and it's like no one is talking

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Speaker 2: about it.

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Speaker 3: But why, Yeah, I would love to know where along

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Speaker 3: the way it became shameful.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it became to boo. It became don't talk.

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Speaker 3: About that in public, Like that's private. And for sure,

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Speaker 3: there's some things that like I will always keep private

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Speaker 3: and you will too, and other people fully respect that.

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Speaker 3: But I feel like it's gone so far the other

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Speaker 3: way that it should be celebrated.

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Speaker 1: More, yeah, and not shamed.

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Speaker 3: Even that situation, I'm like, why is crying over trauma

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Speaker 3: okay in that scenario, but pleasure.

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Speaker 1: And breath is not.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he didn't say it was wrong, but pulling me

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Speaker 3: out of that situation, that shows, like thing, it shows

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Speaker 3: that it's not as acceptable.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah.

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Speaker 3: In society it's not acceptable to dress sexually, to be

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Speaker 3: sexually express talk about sex. We get pushed back all

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Speaker 3: the time, and people when we when we talk about sex,

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Speaker 3: it's like all the time, like, give it's some of

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Speaker 3: our reviews.

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Speaker 1: All you talk about is doing this and doing that.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, well, if you actually listen, it's not yeah

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Speaker 3: one episode a month, yeah if that.

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Speaker 1: But it's shamed upon.

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Speaker 3: It brings up their own sexual shame has been put

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Speaker 3: onto them from societal pressures, their parents, the stories they've

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Speaker 3: made in their head, the box they've put them in.

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Speaker 3: And I have compassion for them because I have been

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Speaker 3: that too. I'm thirty six years old. It's only taken

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Speaker 3: me like the last twelve months, and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 3: maybe it doesn't have to be like that. Yeah, maybe

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Speaker 3: I can explore that, Maybe I can talk about that.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I can open myself up here, Maybe I can

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Speaker 3: do that differently. And it's so fun and it gets

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Speaker 3: to beat but it's your choice, and it takes bravery

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Speaker 3: encourage to actually lean into that. Yeah, So that was

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Speaker 3: my first part of the day, and then the second

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Speaker 3: part I only had two cups. My second part was

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Speaker 3: more around Taj and Tala and the connection I feel

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Speaker 3: with both kids and how they're very different, and because

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Speaker 3: it's such a big age gap, I just feel like

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Speaker 3: I'm feeling different towards both. And I had a bit

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Speaker 3: of sadness and guilt come up towards how I feel

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Speaker 3: it's easier to connect with one of my kids compared

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Speaker 3: to the other. And then I also came up with

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Speaker 3: an epic plan of like what I can do to

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Speaker 3: bring more connection in for the one that I'm finding

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Speaker 3: it more difficult.

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Speaker 1: And then there's also.

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Speaker 3: Compassion for we're all experiencing this life together, and you know, yeah,

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Speaker 3: different ages, they require different things and want different things

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Speaker 3: from you, and they're going to trigger different parts of

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Speaker 3: you that you need to look in within and heal

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Speaker 3: and there are your biggest teachers, and yeah, just lots

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Speaker 3: around parenting and my kids.

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Speaker 1: And stuff, which was really really cool.

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Speaker 3: And then I finished the day with going out in

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Speaker 3: the balcony and I grabbed your journal because I didn't

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Speaker 3: bring your journal and just write out this big gratitude

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Speaker 3: list and just different things I want to like revisit later,

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Speaker 3: but overall, like it was an amazing experience and I'm

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Speaker 3: super grateful for it and I can't wait to do

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Speaker 3: it again one day.

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Speaker 2: It was so cool, honestly, even just to like witness

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Speaker 2: you in like your sexual liberation, because there was one

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Speaker 2: time where I like pulled my eyemask off and like

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Speaker 2: peeped at, like what you're doing so I could hear,

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Speaker 2: and just like watching you in your sexual libration, just

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Speaker 2: like move your body and flow so freely. I was like,

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Speaker 2: that's so beautiful see women so fully expressed in that,

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Speaker 2: because it's like what you were saying, it's not something

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Speaker 2: one that we see very often.

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Speaker 1: You never see that, no.

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Speaker 2: And also it's like frowned upon, you know. So to

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Speaker 2: have a container that we could be in where that

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Speaker 2: was just allowed and accepted and allowed you to connect

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Speaker 2: with yourself deeper, I was like absolutely, like go and

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Speaker 2: get it. That's cool.

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Speaker 3: I always use makes an example because she's definitely been

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Speaker 3: a leader for me in this department, even like me

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00:14:37,201 --> 00:14:39,921
Speaker 3: sure our dance teacher. I remember I first saw her

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Speaker 3: dance on social media. I was like, so triggered like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, why is she putting that online? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: isn't that private boyfriend? Or Like I had all these

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Speaker 3: thoughts and judgments and stuff, and now when I see

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Speaker 3: women get online and post a sexy video or post

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Speaker 3: something where they're touching themselves or just being sexual in

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Speaker 3: their energy, I'm like, Yes, more of this because one,

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Speaker 3: it's so inspiring to see a woman like that to

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Speaker 3: lead the way. Yeah, show women that it's okay to

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Speaker 3: feel like this, it's okay to do this, it's okay

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Speaker 3: to practice.

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Speaker 1: This, implement this. We need more women leading the way.

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Speaker 3: And that I felt like, oh, I would like to

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Speaker 3: lead more in this, but I can't fully lead in

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Speaker 3: that until I'm fully embodied. Yeah, that's integrated in me. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm really on that path right now,

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Speaker 3: which really excites me. And yeah, I've got some plans

355
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Speaker 3: for it. We've got some plans.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, it's really exciting.

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Speaker 2: It is so exciting, and.

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Speaker 3: It's such a beautiful energy to being I feel so

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Speaker 3: alive being sexually embodied. Yeah, it makes me feel alive.

360
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:42,121
Speaker 3: It does really life like your life force. It is

361
00:15:42,201 --> 00:15:44,481
Speaker 3: your life force and in your relationship, like it just

362
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Speaker 3: I can't even explain to you what it's done for Steven.

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Speaker 2: I kin't even imagine. And you know, it's interesting. I

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Speaker 2: feel like there are a lot of women who at

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Speaker 2: the moment are really struggling intellectualizing things, being more in

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Speaker 2: their masculine Like there's a huge conversation around that on

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Speaker 2: social media and in real life, and the thing that

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Speaker 2: women aren't connecting with is their sensual energy. Like that's

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Speaker 2: the missing key and component to this really feminine, sensual,

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Speaker 2: embodied energy that everyone is looking for and craving, but

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Speaker 2: then no one's willing to explore it. And that's the thing, Like,

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Speaker 2: it does take a lot of courage to be able

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Speaker 2: to explore those edges because it's uncomfortable, and for the

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Speaker 2: most part, at least in both of our experiences, we

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Speaker 2: both have shame surrounding our sexual energy. So of course

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00:16:25,321 --> 00:16:27,721
Speaker 2: there's going to be something that we all shy away

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00:16:27,761 --> 00:16:30,041
Speaker 2: from or get super triggered by when we see other

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Speaker 2: people doing it, because we're like, wow, well now that

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00:16:32,481 --> 00:16:35,041
Speaker 2: shows me where I'm not integrated in that exactly. Of

380
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Speaker 2: course I'm going to have to look at that, but

381
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Speaker 2: I don't want to, so let me project my judgment

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Speaker 2: onto you.

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00:16:38,481 --> 00:16:41,041
Speaker 3: Instead exactly and just remember, We'll say it over and

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00:16:41,081 --> 00:16:44,041
Speaker 3: over again. A trigger is highlighting something within you that

385
00:16:44,121 --> 00:16:46,281
Speaker 3: needs to be looked at, and you can deny it

386
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Speaker 3: to the cows.

387
00:16:47,001 --> 00:16:48,521
Speaker 1: Come home. It is the truth.

388
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,081
Speaker 2: It's showing you where you are not healed.

389
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Speaker 3: It really is so even us having these conversations. If

390
00:16:53,521 --> 00:16:55,841
Speaker 3: you've listened before and you've been triggered by something we've said,

391
00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:58,641
Speaker 3: like look at that that, it's not us pointing the

392
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Speaker 3: finger at you. We don't know who you are. There's

393
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,201
Speaker 3: hundreds of thousands of you that listen to us. We

394
00:17:02,201 --> 00:17:03,921
Speaker 3: don't know anything about you in your life. We're not

395
00:17:03,921 --> 00:17:05,801
Speaker 3: pointing the finger at you. It is something within you

396
00:17:06,161 --> 00:17:09,601
Speaker 3: that's already there. We're just being your mirror to reflect.

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Speaker 1: What is there. Yeah, trying to light all you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oherence, Oh good, I love it. It's so cool

399
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:19,840
Speaker 2: talking about this. My experience in the beginning, when I

400
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:24,360
Speaker 2: first took the sip of Ayahuascar, I immediately just needed

401
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:26,441
Speaker 2: to go within. Obviously, we weren't allowed to say anything

402
00:17:26,481 --> 00:17:28,640
Speaker 2: to each other. Ash and I were, you know, next

403
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,641
Speaker 2: to each other, and then Steve was on the other

404
00:17:30,681 --> 00:17:33,120
Speaker 2: side of Ashy and we had our blankets and our

405
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,801
Speaker 2: pillows and we all lied down and I put my

406
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,640
Speaker 2: eyemask on straight away because I was like, Okay, I

407
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,640
Speaker 2: need to breathe and I want to talk myself through

408
00:17:40,921 --> 00:17:44,561
Speaker 2: surrendering into this experience, because going into this, I really

409
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,721
Speaker 2: worried that I would have a lot of resistance of

410
00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:49,440
Speaker 2: like letting go and surrendering because I sometimes can be

411
00:17:49,441 --> 00:17:52,480
Speaker 2: a bit of a control freak. So I was like, oh, okay,

412
00:17:52,521 --> 00:17:56,041
Speaker 2: this is my moment to really go within. I started

413
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,321
Speaker 2: to just breathe and connect with my body, and then

414
00:17:59,321 --> 00:18:00,801
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, it just kind of started to

415
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,480
Speaker 2: hit me. I feel like, I don't know if I

416
00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:04,281
Speaker 2: had a good sense of time then, but it probably

417
00:18:04,321 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 2: felt about fifty in twenty minutes, I think, so yeah.

418
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Speaker 2: Then it started to like kick in and I was

419
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,680
Speaker 2: just so still. I felt like a mummy, Like my

420
00:18:12,761 --> 00:18:15,521
Speaker 2: hands were on my tummy, like on my skin, and

421
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Speaker 2: I just started to go within, and I remember when

422
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Speaker 2: my mind first started to like open up. If any

423
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Speaker 2: of you have seen the Cat in the Hat, it's

424
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,561
Speaker 2: like when they open the house when the cat and

425
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,321
Speaker 2: the hat, you know, ruins their house. It's like this

426
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:30,840
Speaker 2: big instead of looking like a normal living room. It

427
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,880
Speaker 2: goes into this multi dimensional room and like all of

428
00:18:33,921 --> 00:18:36,680
Speaker 2: the walls are soft and like they move and like

429
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Speaker 2: everything's pink, and yeah, my mind looked like that, and

430
00:18:40,441 --> 00:18:42,921
Speaker 2: I remember just saying to myself, thank you so much,

431
00:18:42,961 --> 00:18:45,201
Speaker 2: like thank you so much for opening and like allowing

432
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Speaker 2: me to like look inside on a deeper level. And

433
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Speaker 2: I just remember feeling this like overwhelming feeling of gratitude

434
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Speaker 2: and feeling like a little kid. It was all pink

435
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Speaker 2: and pretty and like, you know, it was just wild

436
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,600
Speaker 2: to see, and I just remember feeling so grateful because

437
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,521
Speaker 2: I was like, Wow, I've always wanted to look quotations

438
00:19:00,561 --> 00:19:02,880
Speaker 2: inside my mind and I get to be here, and

439
00:19:02,921 --> 00:19:04,840
Speaker 2: the first kind of things that were coming up for

440
00:19:04,921 --> 00:19:07,201
Speaker 2: me that really stood out to me was I had

441
00:19:07,201 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 2: this vision that kind of came up and it was

442
00:19:09,001 --> 00:19:12,321
Speaker 2: my face, but I started to get like pain in

443
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,920
Speaker 2: my jaw and it was like I was trying to

444
00:19:15,001 --> 00:19:17,080
Speaker 2: force my mouth open and it started to shake a

445
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,440
Speaker 2: little bit. And the vision that came up was that

446
00:19:19,521 --> 00:19:23,281
Speaker 2: my mouth was being sown shut like with like string.

447
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 2: Like it was the weirdest thing. It look straight out

448
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,200
Speaker 2: of a horror movie, but it wasn't scary. It was

449
00:19:27,321 --> 00:19:29,440
Speaker 2: just like an image, and I was like, Okay, what

450
00:19:29,481 --> 00:19:31,761
Speaker 2: does that mean? And the more that I looked at it,

451
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:33,321
Speaker 2: and the more that I tried to like pry my

452
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:38,000
Speaker 2: mouth open physically in real life, I realized that I

453
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 2: silenced myself. And over the years, I have silenced myself

454
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 2: in my needs and my wants and my desires and

455
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,440
Speaker 2: speaking up for myself and really being able to like

456
00:19:49,681 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 2: rock the boat, like being strong in myself. And so

457
00:19:52,681 --> 00:19:55,440
Speaker 2: that visual was almost like a representation of all of

458
00:19:55,481 --> 00:19:58,841
Speaker 2: the times that I personally silenced myself and blamed other

459
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,240
Speaker 2: people for it. And I was like, oh, but it

460
00:20:00,281 --> 00:20:03,600
Speaker 2: was the environment, or it was the relationship, or it

461
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,521
Speaker 2: was because they made me feel uncomfortable. When the vision

462
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,641
Speaker 2: showed me like this is something I can control, it

463
00:20:09,721 --> 00:20:13,160
Speaker 2: was like me pulling the string out of my mouth

464
00:20:13,281 --> 00:20:17,241
Speaker 2: and actually being able to verbally voice. And it really

465
00:20:17,281 --> 00:20:20,761
Speaker 2: showed up for me, especially in relationships. So something that

466
00:20:20,801 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 2: it kept coming back to me was I am the

467
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,521
Speaker 2: chosen one. I am the chosen one. I am the

468
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,241
Speaker 2: chosen one. And the interesting thing about that is I've

469
00:20:28,281 --> 00:20:31,001
Speaker 2: always felt like I've wanted to be chosen by a man,

470
00:20:31,201 --> 00:20:33,921
Speaker 2: Like I've always wanted the man to come and save

471
00:20:34,001 --> 00:20:36,400
Speaker 2: me in the fairy tale and the night and shining

472
00:20:36,521 --> 00:20:39,680
Speaker 2: armor to come someone who is the chosen One, who

473
00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 2: will then come and choose me. But it was almost

474
00:20:42,001 --> 00:20:45,880
Speaker 2: like this realization of like, no, you were it, and

475
00:20:45,921 --> 00:20:49,241
Speaker 2: that was really beautiful. It's like this, oh my God,

476
00:20:49,441 --> 00:20:53,041
Speaker 2: this huge realization, like I get to love myself and

477
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 2: I'm everything that I'm looking for that I keep seeking

478
00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:59,640
Speaker 2: in other people. So my first part of the journey

479
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:04,360
Speaker 2: was about that, about my voice and being chosen. And

480
00:21:05,441 --> 00:21:08,640
Speaker 2: I had this feeling while I was in this experience

481
00:21:08,681 --> 00:21:10,640
Speaker 2: about feeling like the chosen one, where I had like

482
00:21:10,681 --> 00:21:13,120
Speaker 2: my left hand on top of my right hand. But

483
00:21:13,201 --> 00:21:15,001
Speaker 2: it was the weirdest thing because it felt like somebody

484
00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:17,880
Speaker 2: else's hand, and I don't know how to explain it.

485
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,241
Speaker 2: It felt like somebody else's hand. Didn't feel like my hand,

486
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:23,521
Speaker 2: but it felt like a masculine hand. And I remember thinking,

487
00:21:23,561 --> 00:21:26,081
Speaker 2: like wow, in my life right now. And what I'm

488
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:28,440
Speaker 2: not saying is that I've got to heal my relationship

489
00:21:28,481 --> 00:21:31,561
Speaker 2: with my internal masculine so that I can then stop

490
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,641
Speaker 2: looking for safety in other men and be like no,

491
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:37,521
Speaker 2: like in my finances, in my business, in my structure

492
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 2: in my consistency. If I can heal my relationship with that,

493
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,400
Speaker 2: then my relationship with the masculine when it comes in

494
00:21:43,681 --> 00:21:46,160
Speaker 2: is going to be really beautiful because it's not going

495
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 2: to come from a wounded place. And I thought that

496
00:21:48,561 --> 00:21:49,121
Speaker 2: was really cool.

497
00:21:49,201 --> 00:21:49,880
Speaker 1: That's so cool.

498
00:21:50,041 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 2: That was my first half. And then I came and

499
00:21:52,761 --> 00:21:55,321
Speaker 2: I got another cup of yahuascar, so I wanted to

500
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:57,281
Speaker 2: go back into the trip. And then I had a

501
00:21:57,281 --> 00:22:02,681
Speaker 2: similar experience to you. So I had a very sensual experience. Yeah,

502
00:22:02,761 --> 00:22:05,761
Speaker 2: it was so interesting. I resisted it for a little while.

503
00:22:05,961 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 2: There were probably three or four times where I could

504
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 2: feel myself holding myself back. It was like I could

505
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,880
Speaker 2: feel the tension in my upper traps and my back.

506
00:22:14,441 --> 00:22:16,880
Speaker 2: It's like my hips wanted to move, but my upper

507
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 2: body was still. And I kept thinking, like, what are

508
00:22:20,001 --> 00:22:22,521
Speaker 2: people on the outside going to think of what they

509
00:22:22,561 --> 00:22:24,441
Speaker 2: see when I have my eyes closed and I'm moving

510
00:22:24,481 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 2: my body. So it was all about like the perception

511
00:22:27,001 --> 00:22:29,920
Speaker 2: of how other people judge me in everyday life. And

512
00:22:29,961 --> 00:22:33,001
Speaker 2: then something happened and I just started to like relax

513
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,761
Speaker 2: my shoulders and started to go with the flow of

514
00:22:35,801 --> 00:22:37,400
Speaker 2: what my body wanted to do. And I started to

515
00:22:37,441 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 2: move my body and then like before I knew it,

516
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,281
Speaker 2: I was like on my knees and like with my

517
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:47,281
Speaker 2: head up, my shoulders arched and like my chest out, yeah,

518
00:22:47,321 --> 00:22:50,481
Speaker 2: you know. And I just remember thinking this like very

519
00:22:50,521 --> 00:22:55,001
Speaker 2: feline energy, this fierce catlike energy came over me where

520
00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 2: it was like, oh my gosh, I need to I

521
00:22:57,681 --> 00:22:59,321
Speaker 2: don't know how to explain it. It's hard to put

522
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 2: words to it. But it was very fierce goddess kind

523
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 2: of energy of like, oh my god, no, I need

524
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 2: to How did I explain it to you? It was

525
00:23:07,801 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 2: like a phoenix who was out of an age. Yeah,

526
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:11,761
Speaker 2: like a phoenix coming out of an egg. That was

527
00:23:11,761 --> 00:23:13,640
Speaker 2: like being bird or a little bird or something like that,

528
00:23:13,681 --> 00:23:16,801
Speaker 2: and like pushing the shell off its shoulders and to

529
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,201
Speaker 2: expand a fly, yeah, and having wings and like being

530
00:23:19,201 --> 00:23:22,561
Speaker 2: able to really expand like my chest and like stand

531
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 2: tall almost. And then all of a sudden, it was

532
00:23:25,281 --> 00:23:28,640
Speaker 2: essential sexual energy where I was like making sounds and

533
00:23:28,681 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 2: I was breathing really heavy, and my whole body was

534
00:23:31,481 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 2: moving and I just obviously I had my arm mask on,

535
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,041
Speaker 2: and as she told me after, she looked over me

536
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 2: and she was like, that was hot. That was soofu yeaheah,

537
00:23:40,681 --> 00:23:42,400
Speaker 2: And so yeah, it was really cool because when I

538
00:23:42,481 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 2: was in it, it really felt like me allowing myself

539
00:23:46,561 --> 00:23:50,640
Speaker 2: permission to experience pleasure to the full extent that I can.

540
00:23:50,801 --> 00:23:52,801
Speaker 1: On your face, you were definitely like really, I was

541
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:53,321
Speaker 1: really into it.

542
00:23:53,321 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 2: I was very sexual. It was very yeah, like I

543
00:23:56,761 --> 00:23:59,561
Speaker 2: was giving pleasure to myself almost. I wasn't like touching myself,

544
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,440
Speaker 2: like playing with my felf your body, but my body, yes,

545
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:03,561
Speaker 2: But I wasn't like self pleasure.

546
00:24:03,721 --> 00:24:03,881
Speaker 3: No.

547
00:24:04,441 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 2: And for me, what I've struggled with in the past

548
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:11,921
Speaker 2: is not allowing myself to fully experience pleasure. So there

549
00:24:11,921 --> 00:24:14,841
Speaker 2: have been times, even with myself and also with past partners,

550
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,041
Speaker 2: where I would get to the point of climax and

551
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,801
Speaker 2: I would feel it for a split second, but then

552
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 2: I would almost stop myself. It was almost as if

553
00:24:21,481 --> 00:24:24,241
Speaker 2: it was like too intense. And that was the story

554
00:24:24,241 --> 00:24:26,321
Speaker 2: that I told myself. But when I went into this

555
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,801
Speaker 2: experience with ayahuasca, I realized it was because I still

556
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,481
Speaker 2: carried a lot of sexual shame and almost didn't feel

557
00:24:33,481 --> 00:24:36,241
Speaker 2: worthy of it, and so I would stop myself whenever

558
00:24:36,281 --> 00:24:38,921
Speaker 2: it would start to feel really intense. And I think

559
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 2: maybe because I related sexual pleasure with like being unsafe,

560
00:24:44,321 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 2: like my nervous system couldn't hold it, and so this

561
00:24:46,521 --> 00:24:50,561
Speaker 2: experience for me felt like safety. It felt like connecting

562
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,761
Speaker 2: with myself, teaching myself, talking myself through it, being like, hey,

563
00:24:53,801 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 2: it's okay, You're allowed to experience this, and you're allowed

564
00:24:56,721 --> 00:24:59,640
Speaker 2: to experience pleasure to its fullest extent. So it felt

565
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,241
Speaker 2: super orgasmic, but it wasn't like I was having an orgasm,

566
00:25:03,321 --> 00:25:06,561
Speaker 2: but every movement and every I felt super orgasmic, which

567
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,120
Speaker 2: is really beautiful, and like what you said, actually, like

568
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,880
Speaker 2: since then, I feel that part of me that wants

569
00:25:11,921 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 2: to stop before I do reach that climax like doesn't

570
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 2: exist anymore. It's like the sexual shame that I was

571
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,281
Speaker 2: still holding onto for dear life is like released its

572
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:23,281
Speaker 2: group over me, which is nice, and I can just

573
00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 2: beautiful be and I just have this like weird innate

574
00:25:26,521 --> 00:25:29,921
Speaker 2: feeling of like no pleasure is something that we all

575
00:25:29,961 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 2: should experience, get to experience, are allowed to experience, and

576
00:25:33,481 --> 00:25:36,321
Speaker 2: it's a really beautiful process. And I don't think I've

577
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 2: ever really had a relationship with pleasure like what I

578
00:25:38,961 --> 00:25:41,721
Speaker 2: do right now. Because of this experience with ayahuasca, that's

579
00:25:41,801 --> 00:25:46,281
Speaker 2: so cool. Yeah, and it just it feels super liberating,

580
00:25:46,561 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 2: like as a woman, like I feel like I've stepped

581
00:25:49,201 --> 00:25:52,081
Speaker 2: into a new level of my womanhood from doing this experience.

582
00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,001
Speaker 2: And I could have never imagined that was what was

583
00:25:54,041 --> 00:25:55,961
Speaker 2: going to happen. I thought I was going to be

584
00:25:56,041 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 2: in tears, like vomiting. I thought I was going to

585
00:25:59,441 --> 00:26:02,160
Speaker 2: be purging the whole day. I didn't purge once. And

586
00:26:02,201 --> 00:26:07,121
Speaker 2: it was very spiritual and beautiful and acting to yourself

587
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:10,521
Speaker 2: so connecting. And another point that was really beautiful for

588
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 2: me was obviously not allowed to touch each other. But

589
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,481
Speaker 2: there was one point where as she was lying down

590
00:26:15,521 --> 00:26:17,481
Speaker 2: and my toes were at her feet and my head

591
00:26:17,481 --> 00:26:20,041
Speaker 2: were at her feet right, so we were opposite, we

592
00:26:20,041 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 2: were opposites, and then we were kind of looking at

593
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,521
Speaker 2: each other. We pulled our masks up and we were

594
00:26:23,521 --> 00:26:25,721
Speaker 2: staring at each other and we just like were both crying,

595
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,201
Speaker 2: like and just I remember looking at you just being

596
00:26:28,241 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 2: like I've got you, like I love you, I've got you,

597
00:26:30,241 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 2: and it just felt like everything that we are doing

598
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,801
Speaker 2: and she rises, it was like this clarity of like

599
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:38,680
Speaker 2: this is the purpose, Like our bond and friendship leads

600
00:26:38,681 --> 00:26:42,801
Speaker 2: the way in the entity that is she rises and

601
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,640
Speaker 2: where we're going to take it moving forward. And it

602
00:26:44,681 --> 00:26:50,361
Speaker 2: just felt like this really beautiful clarity, grounded safe feeling

603
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 2: of like, oh my god, our friendship is literally the

604
00:26:53,321 --> 00:26:55,441
Speaker 2: catalyst for what we're going to create for other.

605
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 3: Women, and everything that has happened like it led us

606
00:26:57,921 --> 00:27:00,120
Speaker 3: to this moment. And like even our hands when they

607
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 3: got connected, would like squeeze at the same time, or

608
00:27:03,521 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 3: like our thumbs would move at the same time, and

609
00:27:06,241 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 3: then like I'd put mine onto her put hers on

610
00:27:08,201 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 3: the top of mine, and yeah, it was just I

611
00:27:10,481 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 3: felt like we were feeling the same thing. Yeah, And

612
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 3: then afterward when we were talking about it, we're like,

613
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 3: literally like everything is born from our love of our friendship,

614
00:27:17,681 --> 00:27:20,041
Speaker 3: our safety, and this is why we want to bring

615
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:23,441
Speaker 3: women together to experience this because it's within us. It's yeah,

616
00:27:23,561 --> 00:27:25,721
Speaker 3: we want to show every woman that they too.

617
00:27:25,561 --> 00:27:28,281
Speaker 1: Can have this. It was so so beautiful.

618
00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:30,601
Speaker 2: It was really so beautiful. It was like this, like.

619
00:27:30,561 --> 00:27:32,561
Speaker 3: We've got each other, which we both have an abandonment

620
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:36,481
Speaker 3: wound in friendship, in relationships, in life. Yeah, and in

621
00:27:36,561 --> 00:27:39,360
Speaker 3: that moment, it was like, oh no, that's not there. Yeah,

622
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,281
Speaker 3: like it doesn't exist there's no abandonment, there's no fear,

623
00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:43,561
Speaker 3: there's nothing.

624
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,561
Speaker 1: There's just a.

625
00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:48,921
Speaker 3: Solid foundation of trust, of connection, of safety. Like it's

626
00:27:48,961 --> 00:27:51,521
Speaker 3: just feels so safe. Yeah, which is really beautiful because

627
00:27:51,521 --> 00:27:52,801
Speaker 3: I can't say I've had that a lot.

628
00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, to experience that in Ayahuascar was like the bond

629
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,281
Speaker 2: was like binded. It was like crazy to experience. And

630
00:27:59,481 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 2: you know, you'd reach out for me, we'd have like

631
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,160
Speaker 2: one hand holding and then you'd grab the other hand

632
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,241
Speaker 2: and they had to come and separate us because you're

633
00:28:05,241 --> 00:28:08,041
Speaker 2: not allowed to do that. Three times they came over

634
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:09,640
Speaker 2: and told us to stop looking at each other, to

635
00:28:09,681 --> 00:28:11,120
Speaker 2: stop holding each other's hands, and I'm like, wait, in

636
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,201
Speaker 2: the same trip together, leave us alone, understand.

637
00:28:13,321 --> 00:28:14,601
Speaker 1: I'm like, you don't get it, bond.

638
00:28:14,521 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 2: You don't get it. And then even the guy at

639
00:28:16,441 --> 00:28:18,241
Speaker 2: the end, one of them, he was like, oh, I'm sorry.

640
00:28:18,281 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 2: I had to keep telling you guys to let go

641
00:28:20,521 --> 00:28:22,441
Speaker 2: of each other. And I was like, explain to him

642
00:28:22,561 --> 00:28:24,521
Speaker 2: what had come up in that? And what do they say?

643
00:28:24,521 --> 00:28:26,680
Speaker 2: They say, you're not supposed to plug. You can plug

644
00:28:26,681 --> 00:28:28,921
Speaker 2: into somebody else's energy. I'm like, yeah, because we're meant

645
00:28:28,921 --> 00:28:33,241
Speaker 2: to Yeah, like get out of here. So true. I

646
00:28:33,241 --> 00:28:35,001
Speaker 2: don't know. I think it's such an important thing to

647
00:28:35,041 --> 00:28:38,481
Speaker 2: be curious on where you limit yourself in your life

648
00:28:38,641 --> 00:28:41,161
Speaker 2: and just be willing to do it, be okay with

649
00:28:41,201 --> 00:28:44,361
Speaker 2: what comes up, because it's what holds us back. Isn't

650
00:28:44,401 --> 00:28:46,801
Speaker 2: like a prison. It's not bad, it's not wrong for

651
00:28:46,841 --> 00:28:48,401
Speaker 2: being there, but it's just something that we are meant

652
00:28:48,401 --> 00:28:51,561
Speaker 2: to learn and overcome in this life. And something like ayahuasca,

653
00:28:51,601 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 2: it doesn't do the work for you, it just shows

654
00:28:53,481 --> 00:28:56,441
Speaker 2: you truth. Yes, And I thought that was really really

655
00:28:56,441 --> 00:28:58,161
Speaker 2: cool to point out because if you do want to

656
00:28:58,161 --> 00:28:59,681
Speaker 2: go on this journey, or maybe or not you just

657
00:28:59,721 --> 00:29:01,321
Speaker 2: want to listen to us talk about it, or maybe

658
00:29:01,321 --> 00:29:03,641
Speaker 2: you feel super resistant to it, you can do this

659
00:29:03,681 --> 00:29:07,121
Speaker 2: in your everyday life when you just simply observe yourself

660
00:29:07,161 --> 00:29:11,121
Speaker 2: your life and get curious about questions where your limitations lie,

661
00:29:11,481 --> 00:29:14,001
Speaker 2: where are your triggers, Where do you feel resistance in

662
00:29:14,041 --> 00:29:17,081
Speaker 2: your life? Where do you feel like, oh, I don't

663
00:29:17,121 --> 00:29:18,721
Speaker 2: want to look at that, that's too ugly, or where

664
00:29:18,761 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 2: do you completely judge something? All of those things in

665
00:29:22,281 --> 00:29:25,601
Speaker 2: your life are actually showing you where you are limiting

666
00:29:25,601 --> 00:29:28,841
Speaker 2: yourself and where you live within a confince of your

667
00:29:28,881 --> 00:29:33,161
Speaker 2: comfort zone of a box of self imposed limitations and

668
00:29:33,201 --> 00:29:36,681
Speaker 2: beliefs that you've imposed on yourself or maybe society has.

669
00:29:37,201 --> 00:29:40,081
Speaker 2: And I think this experience gets to be one of

670
00:29:40,121 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 2: those things where it's pushing beyond that.

671
00:29:43,001 --> 00:29:44,041
Speaker 1: It does push beyond that.

672
00:29:44,241 --> 00:29:46,801
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love what you just said there too, and yes,

673
00:29:46,881 --> 00:29:48,841
Speaker 3: you can do it in your everyday life, but it

674
00:29:48,881 --> 00:29:53,521
Speaker 3: takes a very brave conscious person to be able to

675
00:29:53,521 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 3: see all your blind spots, be aware of them, and

676
00:29:56,801 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 3: not distract and push them to the side. You do

677
00:29:59,281 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 3: that very easily because life's busy, you've got kids as

678
00:30:02,561 --> 00:30:03,601
Speaker 3: more important thing's happening.

679
00:30:03,961 --> 00:30:06,201
Speaker 1: You reject them, you're in denial of them.

680
00:30:06,481 --> 00:30:08,601
Speaker 3: They're too uncomfortable, they don't feel safe, you don't know

681
00:30:08,601 --> 00:30:10,881
Speaker 3: what to do with them. So that's why most people

682
00:30:10,921 --> 00:30:12,801
Speaker 3: don't go there. The ego gets in the way, whereas

683
00:30:12,841 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 3: an highuask or it's like you have no control of

684
00:30:15,761 --> 00:30:18,161
Speaker 3: what's coming up. Your ego is fuck it, it's gone,

685
00:30:18,201 --> 00:30:20,561
Speaker 3: it's gone, it's out, left at the door, left at

686
00:30:20,561 --> 00:30:22,921
Speaker 3: the door, and whatever comes up is there, and you

687
00:30:23,081 --> 00:30:24,841
Speaker 3: have to face it and you have to see it.

688
00:30:25,361 --> 00:30:26,761
Speaker 3: And you know, for a lot of people in there,

689
00:30:26,801 --> 00:30:28,801
Speaker 3: it can be really traumatic. The things come up from

690
00:30:28,801 --> 00:30:31,001
Speaker 3: their pasts that have happened, but it's so beautiful that

691
00:30:31,041 --> 00:30:33,561
Speaker 3: you get to meet yourself there and see what is

692
00:30:33,561 --> 00:30:35,681
Speaker 3: there to be healed and see what can come from that.

693
00:30:36,081 --> 00:30:38,361
Speaker 3: And it's also like post Ayehuascar, there's a lot of

694
00:30:38,401 --> 00:30:40,921
Speaker 3: like integration and just being really conscious of what you're

695
00:30:40,961 --> 00:30:44,001
Speaker 3: taking in and looking after your body and reflecting on it.

696
00:30:44,081 --> 00:30:46,641
Speaker 1: And I feel like the journey kind of continues on.

697
00:30:47,041 --> 00:30:50,081
Speaker 3: Does I remember the first time the facilitator said that

698
00:30:50,121 --> 00:30:51,481
Speaker 3: it can be so easy just to go back to

699
00:30:51,521 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 3: your normal everyday life, like whatever's come up for you,

700
00:30:53,801 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 3: like keep exploring it, keep journaling it, keeps sitting in it.

701
00:30:56,801 --> 00:30:59,001
Speaker 3: And each day since I WASK, I've been really taking

702
00:30:59,041 --> 00:31:01,881
Speaker 3: those big breasts just to remind my body that doesn't

703
00:31:01,921 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 3: have to just be at Ayahuasca. I can experience that

704
00:31:04,641 --> 00:31:08,521
Speaker 3: level of pleasure and that level of calm and safety

705
00:31:08,561 --> 00:31:10,841
Speaker 3: and connection to my heart and to my body every day.

706
00:31:11,321 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 3: But if I be busy and distract and just like

707
00:31:13,681 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 3: go about my life like a robot, like society has

708
00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:18,241
Speaker 3: kind of trained us to be, Yeah, I miss out

709
00:31:18,281 --> 00:31:21,321
Speaker 3: and all that it bypasses me and a year, two years,

710
00:31:21,361 --> 00:31:23,041
Speaker 3: five years down the track, I'm like, oh fuck, what

711
00:31:23,281 --> 00:31:25,721
Speaker 3: have I done? Yeah, So every day, like bringing you

712
00:31:25,761 --> 00:31:29,321
Speaker 3: back to that slow is what my intention moving forward. Yeah,

713
00:31:29,321 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 3: miss out An, you have that pleasure.

714
00:31:30,641 --> 00:31:32,641
Speaker 2: I've seen you do that every day since I ask it.

715
00:31:32,721 --> 00:31:33,921
Speaker 2: Actually beautiful.

716
00:31:33,961 --> 00:31:36,161
Speaker 3: It was like the sunrise and I was like, so beautiful.

717
00:31:37,441 --> 00:31:39,801
Speaker 3: It's like take all of that in and I feel

718
00:31:39,801 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 3: that breath run down your body. And if I had

719
00:31:41,481 --> 00:31:43,401
Speaker 3: someone say this like a couple of years ago, I'd

720
00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:44,241
Speaker 3: be rolling my eyes.

721
00:31:44,281 --> 00:31:45,921
Speaker 1: That's so rude. Yeah, but it's true.

722
00:31:45,921 --> 00:31:47,881
Speaker 3: And the breath is accessible to you at any point

723
00:31:47,881 --> 00:31:50,081
Speaker 3: of the day, when you're overwhelmed, when you're disconnected, when

724
00:31:50,121 --> 00:31:54,601
Speaker 3: you're disregulated, when you're upset, whenhit's happening, you can always

725
00:31:54,601 --> 00:31:56,121
Speaker 3: go back to that breath. And I promise you it

726
00:31:56,121 --> 00:31:57,961
Speaker 3: will bring you back to your home, back to your heart,

727
00:31:58,281 --> 00:32:00,761
Speaker 3: back to your center. So you can be so clear

728
00:32:01,241 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 3: on who you want to be, what you want to

729
00:32:02,761 --> 00:32:04,081
Speaker 3: do moving forward.

730
00:32:04,201 --> 00:32:04,441
Speaker 2: Yeah.

731
00:32:05,441 --> 00:32:06,081
Speaker 1: So cool.

732
00:32:06,601 --> 00:32:08,921
Speaker 3: Now, last time I spoke about this in the podcast,

733
00:32:08,961 --> 00:32:10,361
Speaker 3: I got an influx the message.

734
00:32:10,041 --> 00:32:11,041
Speaker 1: Where did you go? What did you do?

735
00:32:11,521 --> 00:32:13,681
Speaker 3: All I'm gonna say is a quick search on Google

736
00:32:13,721 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 3: and you'll see all different places around the world that

737
00:32:15,761 --> 00:32:20,081
Speaker 3: facilitate retreats and ceremonies and different people that run all

738
00:32:20,161 --> 00:32:22,361
Speaker 3: of this. So I feel like it's a really personal

739
00:32:22,481 --> 00:32:24,041
Speaker 3: journey and you also want to find someone that you

740
00:32:24,081 --> 00:32:24,641
Speaker 3: feel pulled to.

741
00:32:24,801 --> 00:32:30,041
Speaker 4: Absolutely, the location, the facilitator, ilitators, the environment, you can

742
00:32:30,081 --> 00:32:32,601
Speaker 4: do one day, two day, five day, seven day retreats,

743
00:32:32,601 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 4: there's so many different options, so I honestly just think,

744
00:32:35,401 --> 00:32:37,921
Speaker 4: jump online and just spend some time researching.

745
00:32:38,281 --> 00:32:40,601
Speaker 2: Your intuition will tell you whether you're ready or not. Yes,

746
00:32:40,601 --> 00:32:43,121
Speaker 2: because there again, there were many times where I thought, oh, yeah,

747
00:32:43,121 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 2: I'm ready to do this, but it was my ego.

748
00:32:44,801 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 2: It was like, oh yeah, I want to do this

749
00:32:46,321 --> 00:32:48,881
Speaker 2: because I think that's what I should do next. But

750
00:32:48,921 --> 00:32:50,641
Speaker 2: it wasn't that I was actually ready. And you'll know

751
00:32:50,681 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 2: because you'll feel super grounded. I think this time for

752
00:32:53,041 --> 00:32:55,841
Speaker 2: us both we came into this going this is the time.

753
00:32:56,201 --> 00:32:58,041
Speaker 1: Yeah, if that sparks some interest, and definitely go and

754
00:32:58,081 --> 00:33:00,761
Speaker 1: look into it. Guys, we'll be on the next one.

755
00:33:00,841 --> 00:33:07,921
Speaker 1: Bye bye bye