1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: I had someone once say to me, you realize that 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,160 Speaker 1: if you have a child, your career will come. 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,520 Speaker 2: To an end. And I believed it. 4 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 1: The industry that I was in, there were very few 5 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: females who had gone on to bigger and more senior 6 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: roles and those who had had done it without having 7 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,960 Speaker 1: children or had stay at home husband. I go home 8 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,759 Speaker 1: and say to him, I'm not ready to have kids. 9 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:21,959 Speaker 1: I don't know if I want to have them. I 10 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: don't want my career to stop. 11 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 3: Hello there and welcome to separate bathrooms. I'm Cam Daddo, 12 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 3: I'm Ali Dado, and this is our podcast. 13 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 4: It is How are. 14 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 2: You I'm very well, thank you. 15 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 4: Excited about today? 16 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 3: How do you feel about today's interview? 17 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,879 Speaker 2: I'm excited. I'm excited. Having had a little discussion with 18 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:47,239 Speaker 2: these two already and just noting their relationship, how long 19 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 2: they've been together. I think they've got some really good 20 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 2: wisdom to share with us and with everyone listening. 21 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 3: Today we're talking with Carmela Galasso and her husband Adrian. 22 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 3: Carmella is a highly successful execut She's the head of 23 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,960 Speaker 3: A and Z Banking Group's small business banking division. She's 24 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,480 Speaker 3: got relentless dedication to investing in the next generation of 25 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 3: female leaders, and has earned herself several awards, including Mentor 26 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 3: of the Year at the twenty eighteen Women's Finance Awards 27 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 3: and a finalist in twenty nineteen. She runs A and 28 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 3: Z Bank's Advancing Women in Management Program. She's an expert 29 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,759 Speaker 3: advisor as well at COOTCANNECS. 30 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,480 Speaker 2: Carmella really is a true inspiration. Not only has she 31 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 2: accomplished incredible success in her corporate career, she's teaching others 32 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 2: to do the same. I just love that. And look, 33 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 2: she's not been immune to life's ups and downs and twists, 34 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 2: including overcoming breast cancer. She's been married to Adrian for 35 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 2: nearly thirty years. Adriane was recently recognized as a leading silk. 36 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 2: Now what is that? 37 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 3: I know? 38 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 4: Like silk? 39 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 2: I googled this because I thought, what are we talking 40 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 2: about here? So a leading silk in the Legal five 41 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 2: hundred Asia Specific Guide for environment and Planning. So a 42 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 2: silk is a high level barrister who wears the silk gowns. 43 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 3: Though does he have to wear a wig as well? 44 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 2: It's a big deal. 45 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:10,639 Speaker 4: It's a big deal. 46 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. He was also the twenty nineteen Planning Environment Lawyer 47 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 2: of the Year. 48 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:21,679 Speaker 3: And consistently in Doyle's guides Leading Planning an environment barristers. 49 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 3: He's look, he's a big deal. They're both a big deal. Currently, 50 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 3: Adrian is Environmental Counsel to the Environment Protection Authority. So 51 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 3: why did we bring Carmela and Adrian into our bathroom today? 52 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 4: Honey? 53 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,799 Speaker 2: Well, it's not often that you hear of two really 54 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 2: high powered people in a successful relationship. Like we just 55 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 2: don't get enough information about that those kind of couples, 56 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 2: and we want to hear about how they manage their 57 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 2: work and their life and their love and how do 58 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 2: they balance it all out. 59 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 3: Please welcome Carmela and Adrian. 60 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming and joining us in 61 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 2: the bathroom. We're so grateful that you can come and 62 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 2: give us some time. Because you guys seem so busy, 63 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 2: Can you tell us a little bit how firsty, how 64 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 2: did you guys meet? 65 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: So we met over over twenty nine years ago. And 66 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: the interesting thing about our relationship is you realize is 67 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: that agent remembers the dates and I don't. 68 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,799 Speaker 4: Eighteenth June it was nice a nineteen ninety two. 69 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 1: There you go, So some of you would have still been. 70 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,359 Speaker 4: Six thirty at night. 71 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 1: It was there you got here, now, how. 72 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 3: Do you know that what happened at six thirty? 73 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 4: It was at June, So it was set there. Well, 74 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 4: I'm cutting Carmela off and old please do that. But 75 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 4: we were we were set up by at that time 76 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 4: was a client of mine. I was a set time 77 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 4: and they were friends of Kamella's parents, and it was 78 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 4: a setup at their house in Molara. And I remember 79 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 4: the time because I'd finished the workday and I went 80 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,839 Speaker 4: over to get a document signed or something or other. 81 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 1: So there I were, he was, and I remember rocking 82 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: in and he was. There was a big group of 83 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: us and sort of they were a bit older than 84 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 1: we were, and it was they were a lot older 85 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: than we. There you go, that was probably our age now, 86 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 1: but he was so much older. But they had invited 87 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: me over for a drink, and so we'd gone over 88 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: and hindsight I realized, well we subsequently we realized that 89 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 1: we'd been set up by my parents and her and 90 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: I remember rocking in and here's this guy. And at 91 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 1: the time, Agrian used to smoke and he had a 92 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 1: cigarette in one hand, Scotch and the other and he 93 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: had sort of long hair that he used to wear 94 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 1: slip back, very good and get go like. 95 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 3: Friend was ninety two. 96 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,919 Speaker 1: It was ninety two, so he thought he was very cool, 97 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,280 Speaker 1: and I remember thinking, oh yeah, and he was quite lovely, 98 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,240 Speaker 1: and we sort of got chatting and we'd sort of 99 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: all went out for dinner and then afterwards and he 100 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 1: asked me out and I said, oh, look, I need 101 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 1: a little bit of time. I need the weekend to 102 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 1: sort out some I can't stuff that something on him 103 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: because I was dating someone else. And he said that's fine, 104 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 1: because I can't either. And what did you do? 105 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 4: I did a similar thing. 106 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,600 Speaker 2: So you were dating with someone else to someone else. 107 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 1: And then we went out, and I remember getting home 108 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 1: my mother said to me, oh, what was it like? 109 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 2: Who was he? What was he like? 110 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 1: And I said, oh, was a nice guy. I don't 111 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: remember muchbout him except he had a gap in his teeth, 112 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,599 Speaker 1: and that's all I remembered about him. But anyway, twenty 113 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:06,919 Speaker 1: nine years later, we're still together. 114 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 2: Fantastic. So your parents must have been happy singers. Though 115 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,600 Speaker 2: it came from a setup situation, it must have been, 116 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 2: like I'm. 117 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,599 Speaker 4: Not sure happiness was necessarily the word, but they weren't 118 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 4: against it and it Yeah. 119 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, my parents, I was quite young. I was 120 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 1: twenty two and my parents are like really And I'd 121 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 1: always said I wouldn't get married until I was thirty, 122 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: and I wanted to do lots of things. And then 123 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: you meet I met Adrian, and I thought, well, what 124 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,160 Speaker 1: are we waiting for? 125 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:32,839 Speaker 2: Things change? 126 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 4: How were you Adrian? I was twenty seven, right, so 127 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 4: it was five year age difference between us. 128 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,359 Speaker 1: No, I look so much younger. 129 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 3: No, well, you're actually quite similar to us, because when 130 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 3: Allie married me, she was twenty two and I was 131 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 3: twenty six. 132 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, there you go, very similar. 133 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, young, we were really. 134 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 4: Young when you look back on it now, like, although, 135 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,479 Speaker 4: to be frank, and I've said this become Ella in 136 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 4: the past. At that time, I think because most of 137 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 4: my friends by then had married, most of the friends 138 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 4: that grew up with had married and had started having 139 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 4: children and the like, I thought it was an older 140 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,719 Speaker 4: I thought it was an older married man than a 141 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 4: younger one. But we'll look back on it now. Maybe 142 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,279 Speaker 4: by today's standard's twenty eight, it's not that old at all. 143 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: And yet I thought I was the reverse, whereas I 144 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: was one of the first to be getting married, and 145 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 1: so I was at the other extreme of like I thought, 146 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 1: I was really young. When I look back at a 147 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 1: lot of my friends who then all got married well 148 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: into their late twenties and thirties, I was one of 149 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: the youngest. 150 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 3: If you had a daughter, would you say get married 151 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 3: at twenty two? 152 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:38,040 Speaker 1: Probably not, and not for any other reason that you 153 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,280 Speaker 1: don't really start to get to know yourself until you're 154 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 1: later on in your twenties, and I think that twenty 155 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,839 Speaker 1: two you're still developing. You don't know who you really are. 156 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: That I think you need that time to give yourself 157 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 1: space to grow. Now, if you meet the right person, 158 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: who are we to say no? But I think that 159 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,520 Speaker 1: I would probably say, give yourself some time if the 160 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: right person, and they'll hang out, they'll wait with you. 161 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:06,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, we couldn't understand why our families weren't really excited. 162 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 2: We got engaged after two and a half months or 163 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 2: three months, which was. 164 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:16,240 Speaker 4: Yeah we was nine months. Yeah, that's seven months of 165 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 4: that was just about letting the time run. I mean 166 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 4: I could have married Carmella by about the third date. 167 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 2: Oh that's beautiful. What was it about her that you knew? 168 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 4: I don't know, it just fit and it was right, 169 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 4: and I couldn't see any reason to wait anymore. Right, 170 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 4: And so when she answered, you know your question Cam 171 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 4: a few moments ago about advocating getting married at twenty two, 172 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 4: for me, yeah, it's good to aim for it. I 173 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 4: would have thought it's good to aine for an age 174 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 4: just for the sake of maturity and life's lessons. But 175 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 4: if the right person comes along, yeah, I mean, you 176 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 4: guys are an example of that from which you've just seen, 177 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 4: and I certainly feel that we are. Kamella didn't intend 178 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 4: getting married at twenty three, I'm sure of it, but 179 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 4: it happened. It happened because we met. So yeah, I 180 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,880 Speaker 4: think you just got to play play with still you. 181 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I mean there's lots to cover in this 182 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 3: because I mean, I can see a lot of similarities 183 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 3: between us, given how young we were when we got 184 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 3: married and what you said before, come about being young 185 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 3: and you don't have that life experience, and that's what 186 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:23,000 Speaker 3: I think. There's a yin and a yang to every moment, 187 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 3: you know, in terms of there's a good and a bad, 188 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 3: or a positive and a negative to everything. And I 189 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 3: think we were married too young. Yet the good part 190 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 3: about that, I think for us was that because we 191 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 3: were young, we had so much to grow together early, 192 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 3: So you know that that kind of helped us, I 193 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 3: think along the way. Was that similar with you guys? 194 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,359 Speaker 3: Did you make mistakes? 195 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:44,720 Speaker 2: Oh? 196 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: Absolutely, like you would. There are times and Agent knows this. 197 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 1: There are times that I'm sure he thought, I don't 198 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,079 Speaker 1: even know why I'm here, and I thought to myself, 199 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: what am I doing here? This is really hard, and 200 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 1: have I done the wrong thing? And my friends were 201 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,680 Speaker 1: still partying, and I still wanted to go and party. 202 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 1: And Agent was so good about it, like he would 203 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 1: tolerate it. And then he'd say, you kind of need 204 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 1: to pull your head back. 205 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:07,079 Speaker 2: In a bit. 206 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 1: And he was really good about it. He was more 207 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 1: mature than I was. There's no doubt he was living 208 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 1: away from home. I was a good Italian girl, living 209 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,440 Speaker 1: at home with my parents till the day I got married. 210 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:20,200 Speaker 1: So I had never lived away. I had really not 211 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 1: been away until I got married, And so he was 212 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: really tolerant of that. Did we make mistakes, Yes, did 213 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 1: crack the proverbial and he went his way, you know, 214 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: and he'd run after one room and I'd go to 215 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:35,359 Speaker 1: the other and yeah, there was that, would you agree. 216 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 4: I think also there's a component of change that happens 217 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 4: with time. I mean, I'm a very different person now 218 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 4: than I was when we married. I can't talk for Carmella, 219 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,960 Speaker 4: but as far as I can observe, she's different as well. 220 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 4: And we often say that if you happen to grow 221 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 4: in similar directions, and that's a great thing. So I 222 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 4: don't know that you work at it. I think you 223 00:09:56,640 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 4: develop tolerance levels and patients and things like that facilitate it. 224 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 4: But I think it's also a coincidence of direction that 225 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 4: you end up still being where you are. And perhaps 226 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,600 Speaker 4: you guys feel the same. 227 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,760 Speaker 2: Well, it's one of the things, you know, as we're 228 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 2: coming up in our thirtieth that I actually look back 229 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:19,199 Speaker 2: on with so much tenderness because I've seen the amount 230 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 2: of growth, because I'm watching you cam as a man 231 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,679 Speaker 2: and go wow, Like when I met you, you were 232 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 2: so young, and I've watched you, you know, withther all 233 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,680 Speaker 2: the challenges and just go up and down and work 234 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:38,079 Speaker 2: through this and change that. And I wouldn't have been 235 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 2: able to see that had I met you as a 236 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 2: thirty five year old or as much older. And I 237 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:46,560 Speaker 2: think I feel really fortunate to have witnessed that in you. 238 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 2: So that's where I love the fact that we've been 239 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 2: together since we were young. 240 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:53,680 Speaker 3: You guys took your time to have your child seventeen years. 241 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 3: Was that planned or was that just just happened that way? 242 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:00,840 Speaker 4: It was actually all planned in the scenes that Carmella 243 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 4: had a career, and in her career, the perception was 244 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,679 Speaker 4: that children might stagnate the career path. In fact I 245 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,199 Speaker 4: said it would In fact you said it would have that. 246 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,839 Speaker 1: So the industry that I was in, we did take 247 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 1: a long time because as our careers were taking off, 248 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,199 Speaker 1: what had happened to me was they had said to me, 249 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: And I was pretty insecure in my ability, as most 250 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: a lot of females are, right, we don't believe that 251 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: were as good as they. 252 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:32,319 Speaker 3: As, especially in that time, in the time you're talking 253 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,079 Speaker 3: about you're talking about the nineties. 254 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 1: Late nineties, early two thousands, there were very few females 255 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 1: who had gone on to bigger and more senior roles, 256 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 1: and those who had had done it without having children 257 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,040 Speaker 1: or had stay at home husband. So one of them 258 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,360 Speaker 1: stayed at home, and so they kept saying I had 259 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 1: someone once say to me, who was a kind hearted mentor, 260 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 1: but a male who didn't wear a female had said, 261 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,880 Speaker 1: you realize that if you have a child, your career 262 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:02,199 Speaker 1: will come to an end. And I believed it, and 263 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:05,320 Speaker 1: so poor Adrian I go home and say to him, 264 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: I'm not ready to have kids. I don't know if 265 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,679 Speaker 1: I want to have them. I don't want my career 266 00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: to stop. And he's like. 267 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 2: Mm hmm, okay. 268 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 1: And there were times that I said to him, if 269 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: you really want kids, you're going to have to find 270 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,880 Speaker 1: someone else. And I love you enough for you to 271 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 1: go to someone else if that's what you want. And 272 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: what was yours? 273 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 4: Your aune, Well, I said lot, I mean kids would 274 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:28,680 Speaker 4: be nice, but in the sort of historical, assumed way. 275 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 4: But I was there because I loved Carmella and if 276 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,719 Speaker 4: that's the way it was going to go, that was 277 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 4: the way it was going to go. So I'd resigned 278 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 4: to us not having kids. So the answer first party 279 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,839 Speaker 4: question CAM is yeah, it was planned in the sense 280 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:45,200 Speaker 4: of there was a conscious decision by Carmella and a 281 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:48,559 Speaker 4: sort of subconscious decision by me that we weren't going 282 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 4: to have children. For Carmella's career path. And I was 283 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,320 Speaker 4: more fortunate in the sense that it didn't matter whether 284 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,839 Speaker 4: I had kids or night for my career. So in fairness, 285 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,319 Speaker 4: I thought she should be entitled to give her career 286 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,439 Speaker 4: as good ago as it could. The second part of 287 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 4: the answer is and this was planned. She was never 288 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 4: forget it. She was thirty nine and not literally one day, 289 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 4: but almost literally one day said my god, I'm thirty nine. 290 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 4: We don't have a kid soon, We're not going to 291 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 4: have one, and the switch was flicked. Now what happened 292 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,880 Speaker 4: between the early part of the story and the second part. 293 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 4: I suppose it was part of Carmella's realization that the 294 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,520 Speaker 4: bad information she had been given before was wrong. So, 295 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,520 Speaker 4: you know, having said, well, let's have a kid, we 296 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 4: had a kid, you seem bad. It is that, like 297 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:40,959 Speaker 4: the one about affecting your career. Irony was that a 298 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,760 Speaker 4: woman or a man man said that. 299 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: To me, and multiple men had said that to me. 300 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,360 Speaker 1: Is you know who were all people who were all 301 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 1: kind and wanted to give you some advice and don't 302 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:50,319 Speaker 1: you know, and. 303 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 2: Wanted you to do well? 304 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,120 Speaker 1: And one of us Their intentions were all very honorable, 305 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,320 Speaker 1: but the view there is is that they looked at 306 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:01,960 Speaker 1: it from their perspective, not from mine. And yeah, so 307 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,719 Speaker 1: so Agent's right. I remember one night saying to him, right, 308 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 1: I would really like to be pregnant by the time 309 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: I'm forty and he's like, but you're thirty nine, and 310 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,080 Speaker 1: you do realize there's not a lot of time. And 311 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,000 Speaker 1: I said, that's okay. We can make this work and 312 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 1: we can make it happen. And look, we were fortunate 313 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 1: and we did, but we always knew that we'd probably 314 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 1: only have one and that's what we kind. 315 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 4: Of the irony of it all is that going back 316 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,560 Speaker 4: to the original part of the story, which was the 317 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 4: information should be given by her quote mentors end quote 318 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 4: about children affecting her career is since we've had the child, 319 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 4: Camella's career is boomed. 320 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 2: Well, that was my next question you had. 321 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,920 Speaker 4: And whether it's I'm sure she would put it down 322 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 4: to the compassion that you get from having a child. 323 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 3: The compassion you receive, or the compassion you as a 324 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 3: mother you give, the compassion, the. 325 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 4: Compassion within yourself, not externally, but your way of thinking 326 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 4: and your way of looking at things. That has meant 327 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 4: that she's been a bit much more from what I 328 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 4: can tell, a much better leader. And that's just meant 329 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 4: her career as skyrocketed. Whether it would have gotten to 330 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,840 Speaker 4: the same place had she had a child earlier, you 331 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 4: never know, because you know, having it earlier, you're in 332 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,280 Speaker 4: a different stage of your career path. 333 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 2: And it doesn't matter because I know that you've done 334 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:15,320 Speaker 2: yes story. 335 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 4: So, yeah, seventeen years and we've got a ten year 336 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 4: old son who's pretty special, and he'll be eleven in August, 337 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:21,960 Speaker 4: and he's good. 338 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 2: It's pretty awesome. Carmela. You actually mentor women in business, 339 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,840 Speaker 2: don't you. So what's your advice now to women in 340 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 2: that way when they want to get pregnant and have 341 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 2: a family. 342 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: Well, that's a lot of what I talked to them 343 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: about because I always said that if ever I was 344 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 1: in a position where I could affect change, I would 345 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: And that was my conversation with a lot of them 346 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 1: that come to me and say, what do you think 347 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: I should do it? I'm like, absolutely, do not let 348 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: a career or a job dictate your future, because I 349 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: always say that the legacy we leave behind is not 350 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 1: the work we do, is not this, It's not the 351 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:05,240 Speaker 1: jobs that we do it's our children and the quality 352 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,520 Speaker 1: of human beings that we raise, and so my advice 353 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 1: to all of them is absolutely have them. It'll make 354 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:16,080 Speaker 1: you a better person as an employee, an employee, er, 355 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 1: a leader once you have the children, rather than not. 356 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,440 Speaker 1: And I think that that's my counsel to them, because 357 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 1: I know that I got what I think was the 358 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,160 Speaker 1: wrong advice at the time. 359 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,560 Speaker 2: Is it difficult for the both of you because you 360 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 2: have very full on jobs and you work very hard 361 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 2: for both of you to find that family work time balance. 362 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,400 Speaker 4: No, I don't think so. 363 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,480 Speaker 2: No, Oh God, how do you do it? Then? 364 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 4: I think it's simple for me. It's a simple thing 365 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 4: like during the week, make sure that I'm home before 366 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 4: dinner and we have dinner together. We've always had dinner together. 367 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 4: As silly as and as fundamental as that sounds. We 368 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 4: try to have breakfast together in the morning, and weekends 369 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 4: are as much as possible handed over to family. I mean, 370 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:05,600 Speaker 4: if it's Benjamin's sport or Benjamin's interests, or Camello's got 371 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 4: something on, we try to do it as a family. 372 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 4: I think you've got to make a conscious decision for it, 373 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 4: about it and make it happen It's just about time 374 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 4: allocation at the end of the day. Really, I mean, 375 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 4: it's no different to running a professional diary. You're just 376 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,920 Speaker 4: putting different entries in and you know, to use a 377 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,159 Speaker 4: cliche a, you're just prioritizing what actually matters. 378 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,240 Speaker 1: And for us, because we did have him so late, 379 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 1: we were very conscious that we were going to make 380 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,440 Speaker 1: sure that he became our number one priority on weekends, 381 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 1: that we would spend quality time with him rather than quantity, 382 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,400 Speaker 1: and that for us is really important. He's blessed, he's 383 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: got two parents, one child. He gets all of our attention, 384 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 1: but we make it work. And look, maybe it's because 385 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 1: we're a bit more seeing that we can make those 386 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 1: calls now. 387 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,200 Speaker 4: It's much easier for me at my age now than 388 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,000 Speaker 4: had we had a child. I mean, you know, the 389 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,080 Speaker 4: discussion's got now gone full circle. Had we had a 390 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:58,399 Speaker 4: child twelve years earlier or fifteen years earlier than we did, 391 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 4: it would have been more difficult because my seniority would 392 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 4: have meant that I didn't have as much control over 393 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:06,080 Speaker 4: my time then as I do now, So it's easier. 394 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:09,439 Speaker 1: I've always been an advocate of and I say this 395 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,440 Speaker 1: to people, pay for what you can don't get hung 396 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,080 Speaker 1: up on the cleaning of the house. If you can 397 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 1: afford to have someone clean the house or do the ironing, 398 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,760 Speaker 1: do that because it means that you then put that 399 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,439 Speaker 1: time back into either your own personal well being or 400 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: your family well being. And that doesn't mean you have 401 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,120 Speaker 1: to get everything done, but whatever, you can make sure 402 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:30,400 Speaker 1: that you've got that there, and so we've made compromises 403 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 1: to make sure that that's there in our life so 404 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 1: that we can spend time with us as a family. 405 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,119 Speaker 2: Do you think part of the success of your marriage 406 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 2: is because you've both got such strong work ethics that 407 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,960 Speaker 2: that's also played into your marriage be both successful, so 408 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 2: you both hard workers. Does that like the two of 409 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 2: you on that same level workways, has that really assisted 410 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 2: your marriage? Do you feel I do? 411 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,120 Speaker 1: I think that what it's done is it gives us 412 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 1: an ability to have a line life and a hard 413 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 1: working life away from the family and so our careers 414 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 1: and when we come together, you know that it gives 415 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,560 Speaker 1: us something to talk about. We have our interests are 416 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 1: different but similar in some ways. 417 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 2: Our careers are different. 418 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 1: So where's it is really interesting? And it also gives 419 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 1: us an opportunity that if he's working really hard. I understand. 420 00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,160 Speaker 1: I may not understand the total intricacies of his job, 421 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,640 Speaker 1: but what I do understand is that the days are long, 422 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,919 Speaker 1: that they're hard, that he's exhausted, he's spent. By the 423 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 1: time he gets home. You know, he's spent, and he's 424 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,560 Speaker 1: it's been a long day in court. You know he's 425 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:39,320 Speaker 1: given it one hundred percent. And we often talk about 426 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 1: leaving nothing in the tank, and I know that both 427 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,840 Speaker 1: of us, when we get home, we leave nothing in 428 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: the tank. And so I think that that's really given 429 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 1: us an understanding of where we both are all be it. 430 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,399 Speaker 1: It's not we don't have the same careers, but we 431 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,680 Speaker 1: understand from a work ethic perspective, Yeah. 432 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 3: What's the biggest issue that challenges your marriage? Do you think? 433 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 1: From my perspective is I think age may comment before 434 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,720 Speaker 1: that I take the line's share of things that are 435 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 1: happening with Benjamin. So there are times that I don't 436 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: restrg I get home and then there's dinner on, and 437 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,000 Speaker 1: then dinner finishes, and I'm getting ready for the next 438 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 1: day because I always think to myself, well, I don't 439 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 1: know what's going to happen tomorrow morning. There could be 440 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,679 Speaker 1: a disaster and I need to go, and so everything's done. 441 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,919 Speaker 1: And whereas he's like, he never thinks to himself, oh 442 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,920 Speaker 1: should I get up and see if carme Ellen needs 443 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,159 Speaker 1: a hand unless I yell out I go, can you 444 00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 1: go and get Benjamin's runners? 445 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,879 Speaker 2: So he doesn't think, well, tonight came. 446 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,520 Speaker 1: But other than that, I think twenty eight years where 447 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 1: you are great friends and we got to spend so 448 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:50,200 Speaker 1: much time together before Benjamin that we're the best of friends. 449 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 1: Like I've got best friends who are girls, but Adrian's 450 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,360 Speaker 1: There isn't anything I wouldn't tell Adrian, you know, there 451 00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:59,000 Speaker 1: isn't anything that's happened in my life that he doesn't 452 00:20:59,359 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 1: And even just. 453 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 4: Hanging out together, I mean we you know, in an 454 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 4: answer to an earlier question, we were talking about spending 455 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,719 Speaker 4: time as a family unit, but also spending time as 456 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,399 Speaker 4: a couple. I mean, we were recouple for a lot 457 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 4: of years before someone else came along and on the 458 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,600 Speaker 4: on life's path, he's going to leave the nest, if 459 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 4: that's the right metaphor, in due course and we'll be 460 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,359 Speaker 4: back to the couple again. So we we try to 461 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 4: do things which are a couple based things not not 462 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 4: to the exclusion of our son, but if he's not 463 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 4: around that we don't need him to gell us together. 464 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,640 Speaker 4: We're quite happy in each other's company. In fact, we 465 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 4: quite quite like it. I mean the current the current issue, 466 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,040 Speaker 4: to be frank is the one that the whole world 467 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,359 Speaker 4: is complaining about, and that is the holidays that we 468 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,399 Speaker 4: used to so we haven't had. We haven't had the 469 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 4: holidays that we use and have used in the past 470 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 4: for that recharge that we were talking about. But that's okay, 471 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,040 Speaker 4: that's you know, we're all healthy, we're in a great country. 472 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,720 Speaker 4: That's that's able to walk around in the fact that 473 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 4: the four of us can be in this room per 474 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,480 Speaker 4: se let alone, with masks and all the rest of 475 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:05,400 Speaker 4: it means that it's but a small problem. But yeah, beyond. 476 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:09,320 Speaker 1: That that sounds we sound really boring, and I'm sorry. 477 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:13,040 Speaker 2: No, we don't need the friction. We don't have love belove, 478 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:13,480 Speaker 2: but we. 479 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:17,879 Speaker 3: Need examples of this. The thing, it's the idea of 480 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,360 Speaker 3: you know, someone's perfect or whatever. I mean, Look, everyone's 481 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 3: normal until you get to meet them. Sure, we'll get 482 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:28,679 Speaker 3: to know them. Rather, we all have our challenges and 483 00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 3: also some seem to have less challenges than others. But 484 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,080 Speaker 3: it's also when you meet someone who has less challenges, 485 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 3: it's something to aspire to and go, Okay, what's your secret? 486 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,439 Speaker 3: How This is why we started this podcast really was 487 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,960 Speaker 3: because people were putting us up on a pedestal going 488 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:49,440 Speaker 3: couple goals and you guys have no idea because in. 489 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,920 Speaker 4: Your industry it's good. I mean, it's classic to say 490 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,040 Speaker 4: that it's the exception rather than the rule. 491 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:58,560 Speaker 3: Isn't it to be together this long for that long probably. 492 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 4: Means to physically? Not probably, I mean it definitely would 493 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 4: definitely be the case. 494 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:04,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I probably. 495 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:04,760 Speaker 4: Yes. 496 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 2: I mean if I. 497 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 4: What's your biggest challenge? Then I mean I shouldn't be 498 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,440 Speaker 4: asking you questions, but there's one. 499 00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 2: Where do I start? 500 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,639 Speaker 4: Seriously? 501 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:18,280 Speaker 1: Yeah? 502 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, so you can't mention that. You can't mention thirty 503 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,879 Speaker 4: years and have a big list of Yeah, oh gosh, 504 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:25,960 Speaker 4: its possible to do so. 505 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:26,399 Speaker 1: That I know. 506 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,480 Speaker 2: It's it's so true. I mean in some of them, 507 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 2: some of them are small. And it depends in the 508 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 2: moment too, doesn't it what we're what we're working with. 509 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:37,199 Speaker 2: I mean, currently it's financial stuff, but it's not but 510 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,359 Speaker 2: it's not with each other. It's just a life. 511 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 3: It's dealing with it and then and then how I 512 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:47,000 Speaker 3: deal with with lack and the whole idea around lack 513 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:50,080 Speaker 3: and where that sends me down a down a whole 514 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,480 Speaker 3: rabbit warroom, and then Allie's way of dealing with it too. 515 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:54,120 Speaker 4: So that's the. 516 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:58,399 Speaker 3: Challenge because sometimes I'll tend to withdraw, and then in 517 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 3: that withdrawal, I'll often spit out, you know. 518 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 4: But that's the vital fly league, you know, flight reaction 519 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:06,880 Speaker 4: though when you which. 520 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 1: We all do. And so please don't think for a moment. 521 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 4: Money issues are not foreign to us either. I mean 522 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,320 Speaker 4: they and the other thing about it is, you know, 523 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:19,800 Speaker 4: in twenty eight years, the money issues are wide and varied. 524 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,160 Speaker 4: You know, sometimes they're good and sometimes they're not so good, 525 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 4: and sometimes they're self inflicted and sometimes otherwise. But yeah, 526 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 4: it's always it's always a pressure component. 527 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,679 Speaker 1: I can remember in the early days of Adrian's career, 528 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,240 Speaker 1: we'd sort of we'd gotten married. And I talk about 529 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:40,000 Speaker 1: this because I think it's if I may is he'd changed. 530 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 1: He was a successful solicitor and he was a partner, 531 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 1: and then he goes off to become a barrister and 532 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,520 Speaker 1: he'd gone from earning some good money to then all 533 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 1: of a sudden not and he's coming home and saying 534 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 1: to me, I don't want to do this. I hate it, 535 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,399 Speaker 1: I hate it. I just don't want to do this. 536 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 1: And he would have sleepless nights and he didn't have 537 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,360 Speaker 1: the work, and he would he it was just a 538 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,879 Speaker 1: torture for him. And I remember saying to him, it's okay, 539 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 1: we'll get through it. But I can understand also as 540 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,760 Speaker 1: a man who's a very proud man who says, well, 541 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 1: I want to provide for my family or my wife 542 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 1: at the time, but for you, it would be for 543 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:20,720 Speaker 1: your family. You think that's another stereo typical thing that happens, right, 544 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,760 Speaker 1: You need to provide, Yes, you do, but it's not 545 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,280 Speaker 1: just yours, it's ours. And I think that that's the 546 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:31,280 Speaker 1: piece that is hard when you talk about money, because 547 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 1: there becomes quite stereo stereotypical, if I can use that word, 548 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,200 Speaker 1: where the man feels they must and the woman and 549 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,680 Speaker 1: it doesn't like it doesn't. And I think that we're 550 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,840 Speaker 1: in it as a team, as you guys are. We're 551 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,800 Speaker 1: a team and it will work it out and whatever 552 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,680 Speaker 1: that is. And sometimes it becomes really hard, and other 553 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 1: times you talk through it and you realize we can 554 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,359 Speaker 1: get through it, and you just make those decisions. 555 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's always better when you work as a team, 556 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,760 Speaker 2: isn't it. Like whenever we're trying to solve things and 557 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:03,239 Speaker 2: we're butting heads, nothing gets solved. But as soon as 558 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,160 Speaker 2: we joined together as a team, we can we make 559 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 2: things happen. 560 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,040 Speaker 3: So yeah, and you set it, talk through it, communicate 561 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 3: and that's one of the things that we do. And 562 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,840 Speaker 3: in the past, how do we get that couple time. 563 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,879 Speaker 3: It's been getting in the car and heading off on 564 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,720 Speaker 3: a road trip, even if it's for an hour. 565 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,400 Speaker 1: Away from the kids and no one else is. 566 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,280 Speaker 3: Talking to just the two of us, and then and 567 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 3: that's I always fall in love again on a road trip. 568 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,440 Speaker 3: I just I always do. God, this is what it is. 569 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,200 Speaker 3: This is who we are, you know, and you're listening. 570 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,200 Speaker 3: You might put a CD on, you know of a 571 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,880 Speaker 3: La Love It or a Jump High It or something 572 00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:37,720 Speaker 3: our music that we fell in love to. 573 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 4: But that's the thing. You're going back to where you 574 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,280 Speaker 4: started and while you got together, and while you are together, 575 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 4: I mean the children, the lovely and they're an important 576 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:46,280 Speaker 4: part of the family. Unit. But at the end of 577 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,639 Speaker 4: the day, the core is you as a couple. The 578 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,440 Speaker 4: time is important that and the discussion is important. But 579 00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 4: I think for me to fundamental things are tolerance and respect. 580 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,919 Speaker 4: I think I think the minute you lose respect and 581 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:06,360 Speaker 4: the minute you don't exhibit tolerance, and. 582 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,199 Speaker 1: You may as well go your separate ways. And I 583 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 1: think that respect thing. And I've got to say that 584 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,199 Speaker 1: that I've never once felt that I don't have. I 585 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,639 Speaker 1: feel like an equal in our family and our relationship. 586 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 1: And it's and I have a number of friends who 587 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,960 Speaker 1: aren't in that position, and they talk to me about it, 588 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 1: and I do feel like he's equal. I don't. He 589 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 1: has never made me feel like anything but his equal, 590 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,120 Speaker 1: and I think that that's an important part of any 591 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,720 Speaker 1: relationship and I thank him for it. And I've often 592 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,760 Speaker 1: said this to him, that it's the thing that makes 593 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 1: me feel like my voices is equal to his and 594 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 1: what's important to him. At times, I'll step back and say, Okay, 595 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,479 Speaker 1: if that's important to you, well okay, we'll do that. 596 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,920 Speaker 1: But he'll say to me, if something else is really important, 597 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,919 Speaker 1: you'll go, well, okay, I'll you know, wherever it's the 598 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,440 Speaker 1: most important too, but we're very much equals. 599 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:52,400 Speaker 3: Would that be right? 600 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,520 Speaker 2: At the end of our podcast, because we loved having 601 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:06,160 Speaker 2: you two in, we do something called a two minute 602 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 2: shower because we're all about the environment here. Okay, right, 603 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 2: so we do. 604 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,000 Speaker 4: Sure, I have one of those little water saving. 605 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 2: It does it does? It does? It's for two minutes, 606 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,679 Speaker 2: and they're in the shower together and it's only two minutes. 607 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:21,360 Speaker 2: It's quick, quick, quick fire questions, quick fire. 608 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:26,600 Speaker 3: Answers, right for it. So question one favorite moment together? 609 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:28,640 Speaker 2: Quick help. 610 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,160 Speaker 4: Favorite moment Watching Hoodie and the Blowfish on Long Island, 611 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 4: New York. 612 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,840 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that was very cool. 613 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,040 Speaker 4: Caught the train from New York up to Long Island 614 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 4: and jumped in a cab with the with the they're 615 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 4: actually the travel agents for the band, and watch them, 616 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,400 Speaker 4: watch them. Was a stage that was only probably as 617 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 4: big as three or four of these studios with a 618 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 4: with a rotating stage, and it was out of control. 619 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 4: It was amazing looking at each other game, which is awesome. 620 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 4: I only want to be with you who. 621 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 3: Everyone's trying to do. Darius, actually walk. 622 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,240 Speaker 4: Past the Metro on George Street just yesterday. 623 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:08,600 Speaker 1: We've got two minutes. 624 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 3: And we watched them there was, but it was a 625 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,720 Speaker 3: great answer. And what a band. 626 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:14,280 Speaker 1: I love it. 627 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 2: I love it. What do you miss when you are 628 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:17,840 Speaker 2: not together about each other? 629 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,120 Speaker 1: Waking up next to him? So I think that that 630 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 1: moment of that, that security and safety that I feel 631 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 1: when we're together. 632 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, for me, it's just lonely without her, like I 633 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 4: just just miss her. 634 00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,240 Speaker 2: So yeah, miss beautiful. 635 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,840 Speaker 3: What's the way you show each other kindness? 636 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 1: There wouldn't be a day that I wake up or 637 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:41,600 Speaker 1: he doesn't give me or I don't give him a 638 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 1: kiss good morning and goodbye. And yeah, that for me 639 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 1: and a hug, kiss, hug, without a doubt. 640 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,520 Speaker 2: It's so simple but so meaningful. 641 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 1: And also, you know, when it's an opportunity to have 642 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,160 Speaker 1: a say, you give them the right to have their say. 643 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 3: That's pretty important. 644 00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,160 Speaker 2: Who's the best joke teller? 645 00:29:59,640 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 1: Adrian? 646 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,000 Speaker 4: Okay, I have to be humbled and admit. 647 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:05,960 Speaker 3: It. 648 00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,800 Speaker 4: Humility requires me to deny that. It honestly requires that 649 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:10,440 Speaker 4: I agree with it. 650 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 2: So that's good. Write that one down. 651 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 4: Biggest pet peeve taking the plates out the night before 652 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:25,440 Speaker 4: ready for breakfast. I don't know what the biggest pet 653 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 4: pee what's the biggest. 654 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:28,239 Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be about each other. Can be 655 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:34,320 Speaker 2: planetary people. 656 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:34,480 Speaker 1: Who don't say so if, for me, if you let 657 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 1: someone in in the traffic and they don't say thank you, 658 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:38,560 Speaker 1: that for me is so offensive. 659 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 2: A little wave? How hard is it? Way to hand. 660 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 4: Around the finger exactly driven? I've driven around Europe enough 661 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 4: to know. 662 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 3: That, no. 663 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,960 Speaker 1: But in Australia it's out, you know, in Australia, put 664 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 1: your hand up, say thank you. 665 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 4: I don't know what my biggest pet pee is. 666 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:58,040 Speaker 3: Global warming, Yeah, I think probably. 667 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,600 Speaker 4: I think I think a wider issue and that I think, 668 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:04,480 Speaker 4: for me, this sort of uncontrolled population growth thing that's 669 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,480 Speaker 4: happening worldwide, and I think it's combined with global warming 670 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 4: and put your head in the sand attitude to I 671 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:15,320 Speaker 4: think we've probably got the ability to recognize that we 672 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,480 Speaker 4: can all coexist with the natural world, as much as 673 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 4: humankind has ruined it thus far. But we just need 674 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,960 Speaker 4: to put the brakes on a bit and do things 675 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 4: a bit differently. I think it's a combined issue, and 676 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:30,320 Speaker 4: I think the problem. I think the problem is that 677 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:35,160 Speaker 4: the growth model which many economies depend upon, depend very 678 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,959 Speaker 4: much on population growth, and global warming is a byproduct 679 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:39,200 Speaker 4: of that. 680 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,440 Speaker 1: But then you also have things like as for me, 681 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:47,000 Speaker 1: it's then you have the population grows. We have men 682 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 1: and women financially aren't aware of how to look after 683 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,480 Speaker 1: themselves from a financial perspective. I think they're the things. 684 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,200 Speaker 1: You know, we're now getting pretty serious, but they're the 685 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,800 Speaker 1: things that I worry about. Is as a female, how 686 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 1: do I then support the next generation of women to 687 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 1: say you can be financially independent, You don't have to 688 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: rely on a man. That you need to be aware 689 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:12,160 Speaker 1: of credit cards and the how do you make repayments? 690 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,160 Speaker 1: And they're the things that I think about as well. 691 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:18,720 Speaker 2: Last question, last question, what is speaking of vinyls, what's 692 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,320 Speaker 2: the best gift you've ever given each other or you've 693 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 2: ever received from each other? 694 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:26,120 Speaker 1: I should say, well, Benjamin for me was single handling 695 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:27,720 Speaker 1: the best gift that anyone had ever given. It was 696 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,320 Speaker 1: my son and the fact that we wasn't. 697 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,360 Speaker 4: A gift though that was sort of a joint gift. 698 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,640 Speaker 2: Go the best gift. 699 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 1: Agent's really generous. So what I do need to say 700 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,640 Speaker 1: is Adrian is incredibly generous and he knows that I 701 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,520 Speaker 1: love jewelry, and there is rarely does an opportunity to 702 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:47,000 Speaker 1: go where he doesn't, you know, on special occasions, like 703 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 1: really special occasions, that he doesn't buy me a beautiful 704 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,360 Speaker 1: gift of jewelry or he'll actually never go and picket. 705 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,160 Speaker 1: He'll just say let's go together and we'll go and pickets, 706 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:56,600 Speaker 1: So that for me is free. 707 00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,719 Speaker 4: Camella bought me a couple of flying lessons a few 708 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,480 Speaker 4: years I thought that was that was pretty cool. 709 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 3: That's it. Let's wind it up with with one word 710 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:08,080 Speaker 3: to describe each other. 711 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:09,360 Speaker 4: Beautiful. 712 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 1: For me, it's values. So he is a man with 713 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:17,240 Speaker 1: high integrity, high values, and high morals, and that, for 714 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:18,880 Speaker 1: me is the most attractive thing about him. 715 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:23,680 Speaker 2: Beautiful, wonderful. Oh, thank you so much too. It's just 716 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,160 Speaker 2: what a beautiful relationship you both have. Thank you, thank you. 717 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: I feel really blessed and very cherished to be here, 718 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,680 Speaker 1: so thank you for sharing your your space with us. 719 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 2: Absolutely so thank you. 720 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,440 Speaker 3: Come Ella, Adrian, thank you, Thank you both so much, 721 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:39,840 Speaker 3: and not go wow. 722 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:41,920 Speaker 2: I know I say this every time, but what a 723 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:47,120 Speaker 2: beautiful couple. They're so lovely. They literally the feeling in 724 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,120 Speaker 2: the room, you know, when there's just a feeling in 725 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,200 Speaker 2: a room of sort of love and kindness that they 726 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,400 Speaker 2: just sort of it was sort of was dripping off 727 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,640 Speaker 2: the walls with those two. It's really sweet. 728 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,200 Speaker 3: They were respectful of each other and it seemed to 729 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,880 Speaker 3: me that they're Their through line, which I really liked, 730 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:07,000 Speaker 3: was happiness and do what do what makes you feel 731 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,560 Speaker 3: happy be obviously because you use that word tolerance and 732 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:14,440 Speaker 3: respectful all respect So do what makes you feel happy 733 00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:17,239 Speaker 3: and at the same time be respectful of the other 734 00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:18,080 Speaker 3: person's needs. 735 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, and there was very supportive of each other. It 736 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,319 Speaker 2: wasn't about you get more than me or it was 737 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:28,239 Speaker 2: the equality which is what Carmela talked about as well. 738 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 3: And you get to have in the relationship and in life. 739 00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,759 Speaker 3: So it was like, yes, we can afford to have 740 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,560 Speaker 3: some help, so we will, we will take some help. 741 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,239 Speaker 3: That way we can better spend our time with each 742 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:43,279 Speaker 3: other or with their with their son Benjamin. Yeah, I 743 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 3: learned a lot too. 744 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,760 Speaker 2: Thanks everyone so much for listening. 745 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,160 Speaker 3: Yep, and if you want to send us an email, 746 00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:54,560 Speaker 3: please do Separate bathrooms at Novapodcasts dot com dot au. 747 00:34:54,719 --> 00:35:07,640 Speaker 3: We'll see you on Monday for the next one.