WEBVTT - How did we get to DRIVING already?!

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<v Speaker 1>Apogae Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am I

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<v Speaker 1>A Bad Mom?

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<v Speaker 2>Podcast?

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like a bad mum because we still haven't

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<v Speaker 1>got a Christmas tree.

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<v Speaker 3>Up, and you just had a real moment then you

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<v Speaker 3>were like, oh my god, everyone's got the Christmas tree.

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<v Speaker 1>Because I literally just before we started recording.

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<v Speaker 2>Your scroll and then all of a sudden, you're like.

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<v Speaker 1>Crack on my phone.

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<v Speaker 3>Shit, I don't worry. Look at mine's being dropped. It's

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<v Speaker 3>shattered all the way across.

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<v Speaker 1>Why do we choose the color of our phone and

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<v Speaker 1>then we have to put a case on it because

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<v Speaker 1>we drop them all the time.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I've even got their child, Like, I think they

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<v Speaker 3>make these for extra special dropping people because it bounces

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<v Speaker 3>on the corner.

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<v Speaker 1>Extra special dropping people like I drop kids.

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<v Speaker 2>I drop it a lot. Yeah No, I like, I

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<v Speaker 2>can't blame my kids. I drop it a lot.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, if my kids had a device, I would

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<v Speaker 3>give them also these cases because they just.

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<v Speaker 2>Sort of bounce rather than smashing.

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<v Speaker 3>I say that and look at my screen as completely smash.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Well we're talking about before that Christmas tree.

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<v Speaker 3>You're just sitting here, you're having a moment. We were

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<v Speaker 3>about to like three two one record. She's like, oh, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>someone else's got their Christmas tree up.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because I had a really quick you know when

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<v Speaker 1>you just go I don't know whether anyone else does that.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why, because it's not even a moment

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<v Speaker 1>of boredom, like I'm doing stuff like we're just about

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<v Speaker 1>to start this, and I quickly own into Instagram, Like

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<v Speaker 1>I go into Instagram like I'm expecting for something amazing

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<v Speaker 1>to just pop.

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<v Speaker 3>Up, maybe just like oh I just want something to

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<v Speaker 3>torture me or just open Instagram.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh there we go.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh I feel bad about myself because somebody's got a

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<v Speaker 3>Christmas tree up. Now I can carry on with my life.

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<v Speaker 1>Am I about mum for not being able to control

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<v Speaker 1>my nervous system?

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<v Speaker 2>Is this about you?

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<v Speaker 3>Or the self inflicted sort of nervous system damage that

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<v Speaker 3>you get from children.

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<v Speaker 1>Someone the other day told me that stress is really important.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, we talk about stress and you know it's

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<v Speaker 1>going to kill us, Like stress is gonna make us

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<v Speaker 1>sick and all the rest of it. They were like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>stress is actually a good thing. I can't remember they

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<v Speaker 1>worded it better than I'm gonna it was like, but

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<v Speaker 1>prolonging it so like it's the fight or flight, right,

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<v Speaker 1>so stress in the moment keeps us safe.

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<v Speaker 2>Think of a gazelle.

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<v Speaker 1>Someone gave me this analogy. Once a gazelle in a field, right,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's just eating grass and it's quite happy eating grass.

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<v Speaker 1>La la la la la. Lion comes along and the

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<v Speaker 1>gazelle's like freaks the fuck out because the lion's about

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<v Speaker 1>to attack it. Yeah, and then it gets away from

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<v Speaker 1>the lion, lion's gone, just goes back to eating the

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<v Speaker 1>grass again. But we don't do that. We don't have

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<v Speaker 1>the stress, the fight or flight in the moment and

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<v Speaker 1>then leave it in that moment and carry on. We

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<v Speaker 1>worry about it, yeah, and we keep it going and

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<v Speaker 1>we keep being stressed.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway. I love that analogy. I think that's absolutely spot on.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this topic is about my kids driving. I had

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<v Speaker 1>a moment where Holly drove herself home from school.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's a busy time on that's chaos.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's so busy, and I had a moment of going,

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<v Speaker 1>how is this legal? How is this legal that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>allowed to just put my child in the driving seat

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<v Speaker 1>and drive on normal roads with other.

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<v Speaker 2>Cars and I sit there with no dual control.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have any petals, but.

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<v Speaker 2>We spoke about this. Have they had any lessons yet? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Now, I will say Holly's a great little driver, like

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<v Speaker 1>I am. Someone pressed listens, she's not a driver that

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<v Speaker 1>and this terrifies me. But she like goes the speed limit.

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<v Speaker 1>And when I said terrifies me, I like, I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>go lower, goes lower. But you also need to not

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<v Speaker 1>be if you're on a normal road, you can't go

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<v Speaker 1>thirty an hour because you're gonna really piss people on

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<v Speaker 1>that quickly. The amount of people that beep, I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>you've been a learner. This is a child learning to drive.

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<v Speaker 2>In the car. For what were they for?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, like if you're at like a roundabout or

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<v Speaker 1>something like that and you've hesitated, you've hesitated.

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<v Speaker 2>Of course she's gonna hesitate. You're learning to drive. Just

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<v Speaker 2>be patient.

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<v Speaker 1>How badly do you need to get to where you're

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<v Speaker 1>going that you're going to beep at a learner driver?

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<v Speaker 2>Seriously? No, seriously, I wouldn't beep, but I just go

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<v Speaker 2>around them. Yeah, I mean you'd get annoyed.

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<v Speaker 3>If I see even the yellow like the l on approach.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, I'll just go to the other line. I

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<v Speaker 3>don't want to cause an impact on there because they're learning.

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<v Speaker 3>But b I'm not getting stuck there because that that

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<v Speaker 3>can be damaging to my time frame, which is usually stretched.

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<v Speaker 1>Because you'll you're late anyway, regardless.

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<v Speaker 2>Of whether you're behind, going to hold me up a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit more. Yeah, but yeah, I get that.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't understand people's aggression towards needing to vocalize.

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<v Speaker 2>Why to shut the fuck up? Shut the fuck up?

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<v Speaker 1>You learn a learner.

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<v Speaker 3>One, Yeah, you're a learner and you're still a shit driver,

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<v Speaker 3>So not my problem.

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<v Speaker 1>But just that feeling rate of I guess it's like

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<v Speaker 1>you're out of control. Yeah, like when you're driving your car.

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<v Speaker 1>You're in control of your car, right, And I've said

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<v Speaker 1>to Holly so many times, it's everybody else you have

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<v Speaker 1>to worry about. Yeah, it is true, because you can't

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<v Speaker 1>control how fuck her behind you's driving yep, driving in

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<v Speaker 1>this morning and I was actually driving car next to me.

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<v Speaker 1>We're traffic lights, and I noticed you's rolling back and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like this, he kept rolling back in this car

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<v Speaker 1>behind him. I look over, it looks like he's asleep. Said,

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<v Speaker 1>you've got to worry about people like that.

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<v Speaker 2>You do. You do have to worry about other people.

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<v Speaker 2>That is exactly right. And then the other part is these.

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<v Speaker 3>Kids nowadays, they have more distractions because they're so you know,

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<v Speaker 3>reliant on phones and devices and things like that. In

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<v Speaker 3>that sense, they've got a few more little hurdles than

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<v Speaker 3>we did. Yeah, you and I were up against other hurdles.

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<v Speaker 3>Driving like a manual carve five speed manual. This is

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<v Speaker 3>me at my first job, like when I'm eighteen and

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<v Speaker 3>a half, five speed manual, no power steering refidex.

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<v Speaker 2>Is that what's called across my lap?

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<v Speaker 3>Trying to read the directory like where I'm going, trying

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<v Speaker 3>to change here?

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<v Speaker 2>Is read that change a song maybe a CD. And

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<v Speaker 2>then I'm still doing all of this.

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<v Speaker 3>And I also can't read the repordex unless it's in

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<v Speaker 3>the direction in which I'm going. So I'm switching that

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<v Speaker 3>around so I can follow the direction where I was.

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<v Speaker 1>I've getting all sorts of the map on your leg

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<v Speaker 1>like your bunny hopping, because you haven't changed the mate,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to find the window lighting your cigarette, putting

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<v Speaker 1>your CD in.

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<v Speaker 2>I always drove.

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<v Speaker 3>The five speed manu, especially you had no power steering.

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<v Speaker 3>You had to drive it like a race car driver

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<v Speaker 3>because you like ripping through gears because you've got to

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<v Speaker 3>keep the pressure off the steering wheel.

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<v Speaker 2>Like I'm talking to all sorts of things here.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm pretty sure I only had four four gears, not

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<v Speaker 1>five speed.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you weren't going to be going over a certain speed.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I'd go and like flick the ash off

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<v Speaker 1>my cigarette and then it would come back back through

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<v Speaker 1>the back window and I'd be like, oh my God,

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<v Speaker 1>like bending a hole through my clothes.

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<v Speaker 2>Even like the no cupholders, I got a cup holder.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just going to keep trying to pull my drink hold.

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<v Speaker 3>The amount of times I burned my vagina with Coe

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<v Speaker 3>was it's like, it's up there.

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<v Speaker 2>Back to your kids.

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<v Speaker 3>Obviously they're up against some really hard tasks, but it's

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<v Speaker 3>more about what's on the road because there's so many

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<v Speaker 3>entitlements now, like you've got cyclists, yeah, animals there up

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<v Speaker 3>against drivers that might be under different sorts of influencers,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, like so many things.

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<v Speaker 1>What I realized this is one of the biggest things

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<v Speaker 1>to learn is how big your car is. So like

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<v Speaker 1>when you're driving past parked cars, knowing how far out

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<v Speaker 1>you've got to be because you're in the right side

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<v Speaker 1>of the car, you've got to allow for all that

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<v Speaker 1>space on the left side, depending on how big your

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<v Speaker 1>car is. That's really interesting, like having that awareness of

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<v Speaker 1>how much space you're taking up and where you need

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<v Speaker 1>to be in the road.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's terrifying.

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<v Speaker 1>When I talk about my nervous system, I'm like literally

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<v Speaker 1>like I find my mouth is going like oh, like

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm anxious.

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<v Speaker 3>So just quickly to wrap up with the analogy that

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<v Speaker 3>you gave us at the start about the Giselle. When

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<v Speaker 3>you get out of the car after driving with your children,

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<v Speaker 3>do you feel like you're that Giselle just eating grass

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<v Speaker 3>again in the paddock, after the lines attacked you, after

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<v Speaker 3>you've gotten away, after your stress releases happened, then you

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<v Speaker 3>come back, you're just gonna eat grass.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you just eat grass?

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<v Speaker 3>Do you find yourself just actually you're still on fucking

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<v Speaker 3>highlight and you're still sprinting through the field trying to

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<v Speaker 3>get away from nothing. Yeah, there's nothing chasing you anymore,

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<v Speaker 3>but you're still fucking ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 1>You're just thinking that I'm still alive.

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<v Speaker 2>It's terrifying. They got auto though. They're not doing manual,

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<v Speaker 2>are they.

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<v Speaker 3>No?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think there's any point in a manual.

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<v Speaker 3>There is, there's always a point. I keep bringing it up.

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<v Speaker 3>You have a manual car, No one's gonna be fucking

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<v Speaker 3>stealing out because all these kids that are stealing cars

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<v Speaker 3>right now, they don't know how to drive a manual.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm telling you, get manual car.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want them to have a manual.

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<v Speaker 2>Just want to know what we went through. I want

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<v Speaker 2>them to have no power steering.

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<v Speaker 3>And I want them to have a sick stack of

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<v Speaker 3>CD Do they still make CDs?

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<v Speaker 2>I want them double? I found a CD the other day.

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<v Speaker 1>I went through like this old keepsake box of you

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<v Speaker 1>know that you keep from your wedding and your kids

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<v Speaker 1>being born and all.

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<v Speaker 2>The rest of it.

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<v Speaker 1>And I found some CDs with like I don't even

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<v Speaker 1>know what's on them, but I really want to listen.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, mixed, I've got no way of listening

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<v Speaker 1>to these. I don't have a CD player.

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<v Speaker 2>We still got a CD player.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how to listen to it.

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<v Speaker 2>Elsie has asked me for CDs for Christmas. Where do

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<v Speaker 2>I get these from? Is there a sanity still open.

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<v Speaker 2>Amelia has asked me.

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<v Speaker 1>For a record player.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they are very cool. We've got a record player.

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<v Speaker 2>We don't use it very often on what is going

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<v Speaker 2>on now? It's a thing. There's a record store still

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<v Speaker 2>going strong in Paddington.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe they will need a manual license because maybe they'll

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<v Speaker 1>come back in passion as well.

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<v Speaker 2>Hopefully, don't worry about these electric cars. We're going back

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<v Speaker 2>to the old

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<v Speaker 1>Funny helping down the street.