Speaker 1: Apogae Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am I
Speaker 1: A Bad Mom?
Speaker 2: Podcast?
Speaker 1: I feel like a bad mum because we still haven't
Speaker 1: got a Christmas tree.
Speaker 3: Up, and you just had a real moment then you
Speaker 3: were like, oh my god, everyone's got the Christmas tree.
Speaker 1: Because I literally just before we started recording.
Speaker 2: Your scroll and then all of a sudden, you're like.
Speaker 1: Crack on my phone.
Speaker 3: Shit, I don't worry. Look at mine's being dropped. It's
Speaker 3: shattered all the way across.
Speaker 1: Why do we choose the color of our phone and
Speaker 1: then we have to put a case on it because
Speaker 1: we drop them all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've even got their child, Like, I think they
Speaker 3: make these for extra special dropping people because it bounces
Speaker 3: on the corner.
Speaker 1: Extra special dropping people like I drop kids.
Speaker 2: I drop it a lot. Yeah No, I like, I
Speaker 2: can't blame my kids. I drop it a lot.
Speaker 3: I mean, if my kids had a device, I would
Speaker 3: give them also these cases because they just.
Speaker 2: Sort of bounce rather than smashing.
Speaker 3: I say that and look at my screen as completely smash.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well we're talking about before that Christmas tree.
Speaker 3: You're just sitting here, you're having a moment. We were
Speaker 3: about to like three two one record. She's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: someone else's got their Christmas tree up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I had a really quick you know when
Speaker 1: you just go I don't know whether anyone else does that.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, because it's not even a moment
Speaker 1: of boredom, like I'm doing stuff like we're just about
Speaker 1: to start this, and I quickly own into Instagram, Like
Speaker 1: I go into Instagram like I'm expecting for something amazing
Speaker 1: to just pop.
Speaker 3: Up, maybe just like oh I just want something to
Speaker 3: torture me or just open Instagram.
Speaker 2: Oh there we go.
Speaker 3: Oh I feel bad about myself because somebody's got a
Speaker 3: Christmas tree up. Now I can carry on with my life.
Speaker 1: Am I about mum for not being able to control
Speaker 1: my nervous system?
Speaker 2: Is this about you?
Speaker 3: Or the self inflicted sort of nervous system damage that
Speaker 3: you get from children.
Speaker 1: Someone the other day told me that stress is really important.
Speaker 1: You know, we talk about stress and you know it's
Speaker 1: going to kill us, Like stress is gonna make us
Speaker 1: sick and all the rest of it. They were like, no,
Speaker 1: stress is actually a good thing. I can't remember they
Speaker 1: worded it better than I'm gonna it was like, but
Speaker 1: prolonging it so like it's the fight or flight, right,
Speaker 1: so stress in the moment keeps us safe.
Speaker 2: Think of a gazelle.
Speaker 1: Someone gave me this analogy. Once a gazelle in a field, right,
Speaker 1: and it's just eating grass and it's quite happy eating grass.
Speaker 1: La la la la la. Lion comes along and the
Speaker 1: gazelle's like freaks the fuck out because the lion's about
Speaker 1: to attack it. Yeah, and then it gets away from
Speaker 1: the lion, lion's gone, just goes back to eating the
Speaker 1: grass again. But we don't do that. We don't have
Speaker 1: the stress, the fight or flight in the moment and
Speaker 1: then leave it in that moment and carry on. We
Speaker 1: worry about it, yeah, and we keep it going and
Speaker 1: we keep being stressed.
Speaker 2: Anyway. I love that analogy. I think that's absolutely spot on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this topic is about my kids driving. I had
Speaker 1: a moment where Holly drove herself home from school.
Speaker 2: And it's a busy time on that's chaos.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so busy, and I had a moment of going,
Speaker 1: how is this legal? How is this legal that I'm
Speaker 1: allowed to just put my child in the driving seat
Speaker 1: and drive on normal roads with other.
Speaker 2: Cars and I sit there with no dual control.
Speaker 1: I don't have any petals, but.
Speaker 2: We spoke about this. Have they had any lessons yet? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Now, I will say Holly's a great little driver, like
Speaker 1: I am. Someone pressed listens, she's not a driver that
Speaker 1: and this terrifies me. But she like goes the speed limit.
Speaker 1: And when I said terrifies me, I like, I'm like,
Speaker 1: go lower, goes lower. But you also need to not
Speaker 1: be if you're on a normal road, you can't go
Speaker 1: thirty an hour because you're gonna really piss people on
Speaker 1: that quickly. The amount of people that beep, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you've been a learner. This is a child learning to drive.
Speaker 2: In the car. For what were they for?
Speaker 1: You know, like if you're at like a roundabout or
Speaker 1: something like that and you've hesitated, you've hesitated.
Speaker 2: Of course she's gonna hesitate. You're learning to drive. Just
Speaker 2: be patient.
Speaker 1: How badly do you need to get to where you're
Speaker 1: going that you're going to beep at a learner driver?
Speaker 2: Seriously? No, seriously, I wouldn't beep, but I just go
Speaker 2: around them. Yeah, I mean you'd get annoyed.
Speaker 3: If I see even the yellow like the l on approach.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'll just go to the other line. I
Speaker 3: don't want to cause an impact on there because they're learning.
Speaker 3: But b I'm not getting stuck there because that that
Speaker 3: can be damaging to my time frame, which is usually stretched.
Speaker 1: Because you'll you're late anyway, regardless.
Speaker 2: Of whether you're behind, going to hold me up a
Speaker 2: little bit more. Yeah, but yeah, I get that.
Speaker 3: I don't understand people's aggression towards needing to vocalize.
Speaker 2: Why to shut the fuck up? Shut the fuck up?
Speaker 1: You learn a learner.
Speaker 3: One, Yeah, you're a learner and you're still a shit driver,
Speaker 3: So not my problem.
Speaker 1: But just that feeling rate of I guess it's like
Speaker 1: you're out of control. Yeah, like when you're driving your car.
Speaker 1: You're in control of your car, right, And I've said
Speaker 1: to Holly so many times, it's everybody else you have
Speaker 1: to worry about. Yeah, it is true, because you can't
Speaker 1: control how fuck her behind you's driving yep, driving in
Speaker 1: this morning and I was actually driving car next to me.
Speaker 1: We're traffic lights, and I noticed you's rolling back and
Speaker 1: I'm like this, he kept rolling back in this car
Speaker 1: behind him. I look over, it looks like he's asleep. Said,
Speaker 1: you've got to worry about people like that.
Speaker 2: You do. You do have to worry about other people.
Speaker 2: That is exactly right. And then the other part is these.
Speaker 3: Kids nowadays, they have more distractions because they're so you know,
Speaker 3: reliant on phones and devices and things like that. In
Speaker 3: that sense, they've got a few more little hurdles than
Speaker 3: we did. Yeah, you and I were up against other hurdles.
Speaker 3: Driving like a manual carve five speed manual. This is
Speaker 3: me at my first job, like when I'm eighteen and
Speaker 3: a half, five speed manual, no power steering refidex.
Speaker 2: Is that what's called across my lap?
Speaker 3: Trying to read the directory like where I'm going, trying
Speaker 3: to change here?
Speaker 2: Is read that change a song maybe a CD. And
Speaker 2: then I'm still doing all of this.
Speaker 3: And I also can't read the repordex unless it's in
Speaker 3: the direction in which I'm going. So I'm switching that
Speaker 3: around so I can follow the direction where I was.
Speaker 1: I've getting all sorts of the map on your leg
Speaker 1: like your bunny hopping, because you haven't changed the mate,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to find the window lighting your cigarette, putting
Speaker 1: your CD in.
Speaker 2: I always drove.
Speaker 3: The five speed manu, especially you had no power steering.
Speaker 3: You had to drive it like a race car driver
Speaker 3: because you like ripping through gears because you've got to
Speaker 3: keep the pressure off the steering wheel.
Speaker 2: Like I'm talking to all sorts of things here.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I only had four four gears, not
Speaker 1: five speed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you weren't going to be going over a certain speed.
Speaker 1: And then I'd go and like flick the ash off
Speaker 1: my cigarette and then it would come back back through
Speaker 1: the back window and I'd be like, oh my God,
Speaker 1: like bending a hole through my clothes.
Speaker 2: Even like the no cupholders, I got a cup holder.
Speaker 3: I'm just going to keep trying to pull my drink hold.
Speaker 3: The amount of times I burned my vagina with Coe
Speaker 3: was it's like, it's up there.
Speaker 2: Back to your kids.
Speaker 3: Obviously they're up against some really hard tasks, but it's
Speaker 3: more about what's on the road because there's so many
Speaker 3: entitlements now, like you've got cyclists, yeah, animals there up
Speaker 3: against drivers that might be under different sorts of influencers,
Speaker 3: you know, like so many things.
Speaker 1: What I realized this is one of the biggest things
Speaker 1: to learn is how big your car is. So like
Speaker 1: when you're driving past parked cars, knowing how far out
Speaker 1: you've got to be because you're in the right side
Speaker 1: of the car, you've got to allow for all that
Speaker 1: space on the left side, depending on how big your
Speaker 1: car is. That's really interesting, like having that awareness of
Speaker 1: how much space you're taking up and where you need
Speaker 1: to be in the road.
Speaker 2: But it's terrifying.
Speaker 1: When I talk about my nervous system, I'm like literally
Speaker 1: like I find my mouth is going like oh, like
Speaker 1: because I'm anxious.
Speaker 3: So just quickly to wrap up with the analogy that
Speaker 3: you gave us at the start about the Giselle. When
Speaker 3: you get out of the car after driving with your children,
Speaker 3: do you feel like you're that Giselle just eating grass
Speaker 3: again in the paddock, after the lines attacked you, after
Speaker 3: you've gotten away, after your stress releases happened, then you
Speaker 3: come back, you're just gonna eat grass.
Speaker 2: Do you just eat grass?
Speaker 3: Do you find yourself just actually you're still on fucking
Speaker 3: highlight and you're still sprinting through the field trying to
Speaker 3: get away from nothing. Yeah, there's nothing chasing you anymore,
Speaker 3: but you're still fucking ridiculous.
Speaker 1: You're just thinking that I'm still alive.
Speaker 2: It's terrifying. They got auto though. They're not doing manual,
Speaker 2: are they.
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: I don't think there's any point in a manual.
Speaker 3: There is, there's always a point. I keep bringing it up.
Speaker 3: You have a manual car, No one's gonna be fucking
Speaker 3: stealing out because all these kids that are stealing cars
Speaker 3: right now, they don't know how to drive a manual.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, get manual car.
Speaker 1: I don't want them to have a manual.
Speaker 2: Just want to know what we went through. I want
Speaker 2: them to have no power steering.
Speaker 3: And I want them to have a sick stack of
Speaker 3: CD Do they still make CDs?
Speaker 2: I want them double? I found a CD the other day.
Speaker 1: I went through like this old keepsake box of you
Speaker 1: know that you keep from your wedding and your kids
Speaker 1: being born and all.
Speaker 2: The rest of it.
Speaker 1: And I found some CDs with like I don't even
Speaker 1: know what's on them, but I really want to listen.
Speaker 1: I was like, mixed, I've got no way of listening
Speaker 1: to these. I don't have a CD player.
Speaker 2: We still got a CD player.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to listen to it.
Speaker 2: Elsie has asked me for CDs for Christmas. Where do
Speaker 2: I get these from? Is there a sanity still open.
Speaker 2: Amelia has asked me.
Speaker 1: For a record player.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they are very cool. We've got a record player.
Speaker 2: We don't use it very often on what is going
Speaker 2: on now? It's a thing. There's a record store still
Speaker 2: going strong in Paddington.
Speaker 1: Maybe they will need a manual license because maybe they'll
Speaker 1: come back in passion as well.
Speaker 2: Hopefully, don't worry about these electric cars. We're going back
Speaker 2: to the old
Speaker 1: Funny helping down the street.