WEBVTT - Do what I say NOT what I do!

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<v Speaker 1>Apod Shape Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am

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<v Speaker 1>I a Bad Mum Podcast? Are You Christmas Ready?

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely not Christmas Ready.

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<v Speaker 3>I listened to our podcast where we were talking about

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<v Speaker 3>being Christmas ready, and I even got just like that

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<v Speaker 3>little bit of anxious in my belly, going, you steal

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<v Speaker 3>not even trying to get Christmas ready.

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<v Speaker 1>When you buy one present and it's what you wanted

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<v Speaker 1>and it's the price you wanted and all the rest

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<v Speaker 1>of it, I feel like then you're on like kind

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<v Speaker 1>of a roll. But it's getting that first one done.

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<v Speaker 3>I keep making the mistake of like sort of just

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<v Speaker 3>popping into the shop popping out because you're just fitting

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<v Speaker 3>in when you can during the day, right when you

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<v Speaker 3>don't have others with you, and so it's usually like

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<v Speaker 3>at peak time when everyone else seems to be there.

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<v Speaker 2>I really need to change his shit up.

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<v Speaker 1>I saw the ladies though when I was in West

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<v Speaker 1>the ladies that do the wrapping, and I was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I could really, but I just don't want to go

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<v Speaker 1>back in that shopping center.

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<v Speaker 3>No oh no, I think it's like a I think

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<v Speaker 3>it's like a do it as you're there, yeah kind

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<v Speaker 3>of vibe.

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<v Speaker 1>But the problem is is that I then forget what

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<v Speaker 1>I've got. I don't know what you're like with the kids.

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<v Speaker 1>I like to see it all, so I'm like, oh, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that all looks good, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>Because I think I was telling you I don't have

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<v Speaker 3>the space or like the availability on the twenty fourth

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<v Speaker 3>this year to be able to just do my normal

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<v Speaker 3>wrap at midnight on the twenty fourth, Like, I don't

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<v Speaker 3>have that this year, So I really need to be

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<v Speaker 3>at least prepared prior to the twenty second.

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<v Speaker 1>That's stressful. I've been there and done wrapping on the

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<v Speaker 1>twenty fourth and then had a glass of wine and

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<v Speaker 1>then had another glass of wine, run out of wrapping

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<v Speaker 1>paper and all that kind.

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<v Speaker 2>Of stand run out of wine, and.

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<v Speaker 1>Then forget to write people's name on the presents. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know what's food.

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<v Speaker 3>The figures or you see them like unwrap something, You're like, fuck,

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<v Speaker 3>that wasn't for you if you got that.

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<v Speaker 1>Am I a bad mom for being a bad influence?

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<v Speaker 2>Ah?

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<v Speaker 3>Like this it is that time of year where we

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<v Speaker 3>can probably be a little bit more.

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<v Speaker 2>Of a bad influence to others.

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<v Speaker 1>So I went to Bunnings the other day, right, and

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<v Speaker 1>I bought a lamp that I didn't need because I

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<v Speaker 1>don't yet have the table for the lamp to go on.

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<v Speaker 1>But I really liked the lamp. Jay looks at me

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<v Speaker 1>and goes, what are you gonna do with that? You've

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<v Speaker 1>got nowhere to put the lamp. I was like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I know, but I will have someone put it. And

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<v Speaker 1>I really like the lamp anyway, Got it home, it's broken.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just annnoying. Okay, fine, back to Bunnings we go.

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<v Speaker 1>Went back to Bunnings, swapped it for another one. Got

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<v Speaker 1>it home, it's broken? What and the fact that I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't check the second one on the first one that

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<v Speaker 1>annoyed were broken?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I had a glass.

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<v Speaker 1>Lamp shade and there were only two there, and obviously

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<v Speaker 1>they'd been dropped, so yeah, they were both broken. Anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>I've then taken the second lamp back to the shop,

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<v Speaker 1>and as I'm lining up for the service desk, the

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<v Speaker 1>lady in front of me has a dead plant and

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<v Speaker 1>is returning it. I was like, sorry, I really watched

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<v Speaker 1>with interest because I was like, what's going to happen here?

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<v Speaker 1>She's literally got a pot plant completely dead? Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>she's taken it up to the counter.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm watching yea, and she got a real fund

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<v Speaker 2>because she killed the plant.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, so then she's then gone with her money. The

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<v Speaker 1>lady behind the counter's got the dead plant. She was

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<v Speaker 1>like next, And then I was next with my broken leg,

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<v Speaker 1>and I went, did that lady just return that dead plant?

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<v Speaker 1>She went yeah, she said, it's a policy, like, you've

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<v Speaker 1>got twelve months if you keep your receipt. I know, what,

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<v Speaker 1>howenty plants have you had in your life from Bunnings

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<v Speaker 1>that has died?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>But and did you ever know you could?

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<v Speaker 2>No? No, no, no.

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<v Speaker 3>I find that just mind blowing because majority of the time,

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<v Speaker 3>I would say ninety eight percent of the time, it's

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<v Speaker 3>the user that has broken it, not anything else.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, I said, how do you know she just

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<v Speaker 1>didn't water it for a year? She went yeah, I know.

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<v Speaker 1>Obviously they can't police that.

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<v Speaker 2>They don't know. Gosh.

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<v Speaker 1>So then it got me thinking because I had a

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<v Speaker 1>lavender plant on the table outside.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and it's dead.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's probably dead because I didn't order it.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, I know why it's dead.

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<v Speaker 3>Number one, it's going to be in a ground and

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<v Speaker 3>number two, you've ordered it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but I didn't keep the receipt, and I was

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<v Speaker 1>thinking to myself, Oh, that's annoying. Now I'm annoyed at

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<v Speaker 1>myself because I've got a plant and now I know

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<v Speaker 1>you can take those back to Bunnings. You're probably wondering

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<v Speaker 1>why this is am I a bad mum episode? But

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<v Speaker 1>then I've said in front of Holly, I went, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what I'm gonna do. I've got a great idea.

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<v Speaker 1>I've got a great idea. I'm going to go back

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<v Speaker 1>to Bunnings and I'm going to buy another lavender plant,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm going to keep my receipt and I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to wait a couple of weeks and I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>take the dead one back.

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<v Speaker 2>Back.

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<v Speaker 1>And she looked at me.

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<v Speaker 2>What'd she say? You can't do that? I think, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I can.

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<v Speaker 1>She went, that's not the right thing to do. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, and I'm arguing with her, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh god, I'm a really bad one right now. That's

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<v Speaker 1>technically and I'm teaching her and I'm arguing with her.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't absolutely know that is my right. The amount

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<v Speaker 1>of plants I've brought from Bunnings over the years that

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<v Speaker 1>have died, and I have never once taken them back

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<v Speaker 1>and got my money back.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but no one knows.

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, well, I mean, now they do listening

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<v Speaker 3>to this. But at the same time, do you really

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<v Speaker 3>keep receipts for plants? Did the lady in front of

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<v Speaker 3>you returning it have her receipt?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you have to.

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<v Speaker 1>Have your receipt where you brought it from. But my

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<v Speaker 1>thing is is that so I was really excited by

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<v Speaker 1>this idea. I was like, yeah, I deserve to get it.

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<v Speaker 2>I deserve my money back for killing that plant. I

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<v Speaker 2>deserve it because.

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<v Speaker 1>The amount of plants great. I bought a lemon tree.

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<v Speaker 1>I bought it as a lemon tree. It's not a

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<v Speaker 1>fucking lemon tree. I don't know what that fruit is,

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<v Speaker 1>but it is not lemons, and it takes it to

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<v Speaker 1>disgusting the yellow and round, so like yellow limes that

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<v Speaker 1>aren't limes that also aren't lemons, and they have a

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<v Speaker 1>really bitter taste.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you buy a lemonade tree?

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<v Speaker 1>No, I bought a lemon tree. It said it was

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<v Speaker 1>a lemon Tree's technically it was Bunnings's fault that I've

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<v Speaker 1>got this faulty.

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<v Speaker 2>No, you can't take that back. You don't have at you.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I don't have the receipt. But what I'm saying

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<v Speaker 1>is there are enough times where.

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<v Speaker 3>Next you're going to go and buy another one of those,

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<v Speaker 3>take the other one back and give that back to them,

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<v Speaker 3>get her a set.

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<v Speaker 2>You're just going to like, you're just trying to it's

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<v Speaker 2>a great time to update all your plants that you've killed.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I kind of thought to myself, as I

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<v Speaker 1>was arguing with Holly about it being the right thing

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<v Speaker 1>to do, and she's telling me, absolutely correctly, that's the

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<v Speaker 1>wrong thing to do. I'm sitting there thinking, do I

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<v Speaker 1>want to be the person that lines up with the

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<v Speaker 1>dead plant to get my seven dollars back?

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<v Speaker 3>My next question was exactly that, I reckon, you'll get there,

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<v Speaker 3>You'll decide, you'll send the kids in with the.

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<v Speaker 2>Receipt and the plan and go, you go and do it. No,

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<v Speaker 2>you have to do it. Just get a real fun.

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<v Speaker 3>For me, seven dollars is not even worth your petrol,

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<v Speaker 3>your time.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like that feeling I get at a breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>buffet where it's like you go on holiday, you do

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<v Speaker 1>the breakfast buffet. I'll have eggs, everything in the bacon.

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<v Speaker 1>Then I'll go on to the cheese and the cold meats,

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<v Speaker 1>and then I'll have the curry and the because I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I've paid for this breakfast buffet.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I am eating everything. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I think breakfast buffets are great for people that genuinely

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<v Speaker 3>really enjoy eating breakfast, because I find breakfast buffets for

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<v Speaker 3>me just such a waste of money because I get

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<v Speaker 3>in there, it's so overwhelmed.

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<v Speaker 2>Then my body goes, you don't even eat breakfast half.

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<v Speaker 3>The time, So what are you doing trying to shovel

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<v Speaker 3>all of this food in and then fit a mimosa

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<v Speaker 3>on top of you?

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<v Speaker 2>Just need to slow down.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't need breakfast, but when i'm when you're in

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<v Speaker 1>a buffet, that's why I three meals a day work

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<v Speaker 1>and you.

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<v Speaker 2>I do. Oh my gosh. We went to that really

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<v Speaker 2>big one in Sydney.

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<v Speaker 3>Elsie again being the pikiata that she is, she ended

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<v Speaker 3>up having like I think nearly nine to ten bowls

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<v Speaker 3>of miso soup because it has like the international section.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and she was.

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<v Speaker 1>Like Lisa did for breakfast, and I was like, we

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<v Speaker 1>did a seafood buffet on the gold Broast. No, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>seafood buffet for dinner on the Gold Coast. I remember

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<v Speaker 1>it's the first time that Holly tried oysters.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and she liked.

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<v Speaker 1>Them, and I was like, have as many as you like.

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<v Speaker 1>It is buffet, Like just keep eating the oysters like

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<v Speaker 1>you may as well. And then I remember going out

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<v Speaker 1>for dinner a few weeks after that, yeah, and she

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<v Speaker 1>was like, Oh, I'm going to look at the menu.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to get the oysters. I was like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>you're not not. Now, you're not.

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<v Speaker 2>No, you one not unless you're paying for dinner.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but you just recently took them all out for

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<v Speaker 3>dinner for their birthday with their friends, and they were

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<v Speaker 3>trying to hit you up for oysters that night for.

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<v Speaker 2>Like a big group of them.

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<v Speaker 1>No, not a group birthday dinner that I am paying for. No,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not doing oysters.

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<v Speaker 3>Have you got a credit card, put that down. You

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<v Speaker 3>can have as many oysters as you like.

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<v Speaker 1>Oysters are for seafood buffets only.

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<v Speaker 3>Unless we're at dinner by ourselves, then we'll consider it

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<v Speaker 3>as well.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, buy oysters for myself.

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<v Speaker 1>But I have a job, so