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Speaker 1: Apodjay Production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashi and I'm Tiana.

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Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment.

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Speaker 3: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most

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Speaker 3: authentic version of yourself.

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Speaker 2: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone

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Speaker 2: else is too afraid to talk about.

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Speaker 4: Get ready for your next level of self.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, Welcome back to She Rises Ashly in Tiana

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Speaker 2: Wednesday episode. Today, we're going to be talking all about

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Speaker 2: love languages. This is something we have spoken about briefly

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Speaker 2: on the podcast before. You might have heard little bits

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Speaker 2: and pieces, but we still get quite a few dms

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Speaker 2: asking us to do a full episode.

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Speaker 1: What are they?

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Speaker 2: How to incorporate them, why do we have them there?

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Speaker 2: How they shop in our relationships? So, well, let's talk

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Speaker 2: about it today.

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Speaker 4: Let's talk about it.

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Speaker 2: So, first of all, what are the five love languages?

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Speaker 2: So love languages are a way that you give and

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Speaker 2: receive love. And there's normally like one or two driving

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Speaker 2: ones that you like the most, but in reality we

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Speaker 2: like all of them. But you'll find there's one or

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Speaker 2: two particular ones that they're like, oh, makes me feel

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Speaker 2: so loved when that person does XYZ. So there's physical

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Speaker 2: touch it's an obvious one. Lots of kettles and kisses, intimacy,

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Speaker 2: even if it's like driving, hand on the lap, holding hands,

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Speaker 2: it'll brush up the neck, kisses on the forehead, it's

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Speaker 2: like being touched. There's gifts, obvious buying gifts that's like

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Speaker 2: surprises or just like yeah, food one flowers. There is

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Speaker 2: words of affirmations, so that's like talking to a job.

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Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. Oh my gosh, you look

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Speaker 1: so beautiful.

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Speaker 4: My gosh, I love you. I believe in you.

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Speaker 3: Well you do coroll with that. You're just the smartest

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Speaker 3: person I've ever met in my life.

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Speaker 2: Little text message appreciate you, Yeah, like you killed it today.

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Speaker 3: It just like words, I love words, I appreciate you.

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Speaker 2: There's acts of service, so people doing something for you.

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Speaker 3: So it could be doing the dishes for you, out

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Speaker 3: tiding the house while you're away, or while you're.

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Speaker 2: Out feet go to the shops, getting the groceries.

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Speaker 4: Picking something up on the way home for you.

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Speaker 2: Husband goes and feels your car up. Just like the

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Speaker 2: act of going to do a service. That makes your

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Speaker 2: life easier.

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Speaker 3: Yes.

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Speaker 2: And then there is quality time, which is an obvious

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Speaker 2: one as well. So just like spending quality intentional present time,

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Speaker 2: phones are away, eye contact. Yeah, doing something that's just

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Speaker 2: YouTube together that you can really connect on that deeper level,

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Speaker 2: not just passing ships at home or at work.

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Speaker 1: It's like actual quality plugged into Yeah.

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Speaker 3: This is not just like spending time side by side

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Speaker 3: while doing separate things.

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Speaker 4: Yes, this is intentional.

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Speaker 3: Nothing is in the way, no distractions, no, nothing, You're

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Speaker 3: having actually plugged in time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't know if this is true, but I

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Speaker 2: have heard that whatever you were starved off as a

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Speaker 2: kid will be your prominent love language as an adult. Interesting,

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Speaker 2: I personally do think it's true. It might not be,

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Speaker 2: but I do think it's true because your love languages

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Speaker 2: can change over time too. And I've seen and witnessed

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Speaker 2: and felt mind change and Steve's change depending on what

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Speaker 2: season in life we're at and whether we're nailing one.

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Speaker 2: Like for example, mine was always acts as service because

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Speaker 2: my parents didn't really do much for me. I always

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Speaker 2: had to walk everywhere. They didn't really help with homeworks

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Speaker 2: they were both working, had to like get lifts off

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Speaker 2: my friends and I felt like they just weren't there

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Speaker 2: to do things for me. They provided a home and

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Speaker 2: you did the best they could. So when anyone does

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Speaker 2: anything for me, I just'm like, oh my gosh, I

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Speaker 2: feel so love like they had time to do that,

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Speaker 2: or like they did that even caring. Even if I

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Speaker 2: asked my parents to do something, it was just like

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Speaker 2: the biggest burden. So that was always mine. And then

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Speaker 2: when I got pregnant with Tala, Steve just stepped up

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Speaker 2: and did everything because I was a bit more sick,

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Speaker 2: a bit more tired. I wasn't getting much sleep at night,

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Speaker 2: and he just did everything. So that kind of went away.

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Speaker 2: I was like, that's getting fulfilled now. Now it's physical touch,

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Speaker 2: and I wanted more touch, and his was the opposite,

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Speaker 2: was always physical touch.

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Speaker 1: And then he had kids. You should see him at

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Speaker 1: night time. He's it on the couch.

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Speaker 2: Both kids are wanting to be on him, Taco frizzy,

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Speaker 2: everyone's wanting him huddles from him. So it's not his

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Speaker 2: main love language anymore because he almost gets a bit

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Speaker 2: touched out sometimes because everyone wants his cuddles. He's just

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Speaker 2: like a safe, calm energy that I think everyone, even

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Speaker 2: animals are very drawn to too gravitate too, so it's

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Speaker 2: interesting to see.

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Speaker 1: How it changes.

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Speaker 2: But only recently I've acknowledged that there isn't just too

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Speaker 2: like I actually really enjoy all of them.

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Speaker 1: I love when you praise me.

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Speaker 2: I love when you bring me home flowers just on

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Speaker 2: a random day.

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Speaker 1: I love the quality time. I love a gift.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all of it. And it's not bad to want

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Speaker 2: and enjoy all of them. But what you'll notice is

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Speaker 2: you will give love in the way that you want

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Speaker 2: to receive it.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely so.

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Speaker 2: I remember Tony Robins saying one of his events that

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Speaker 2: you'll hear like, say a husband or a wife just

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Speaker 2: be like I do everything for them, like everything, but

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Speaker 2: it's like you've done everything you think they want, but

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Speaker 2: not what they actually want.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So for man's it's like I.

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Speaker 2: Take out the garbage and I do the dishes, and

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Speaker 2: I do all these things. It's like, Okay, you're nailing

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Speaker 2: access service, but have you actually plugged it in her

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Speaker 2: quality time? If that's her love language, she's not going

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Speaker 2: to feel loved.

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Speaker 3: Or have you given her any physical touch in the

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Speaker 3: way that she needs and and craves it. But then

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Speaker 3: you've done all these things, and she's not receiving the

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Speaker 3: love and the way that you're giving it and the

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Speaker 3: effort that you're actually pouring in simply because she's not

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Speaker 3: receiving it as love.

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Speaker 4: She's receiving it as you just doing something for her.

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Speaker 3: Virtually, it doesn't hit the love language in the way

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Speaker 3: that physical touch would. Yeah, so like you could do

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Speaker 3: month's worth of doing things for her, but like one

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Speaker 3: month worth of physical touch, little grabs on the bumb

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Speaker 3: like game to brushes, you know, on the neck, or

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Speaker 3: kisses on the face and things like that would fill

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Speaker 3: her cup up so much more than the other stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yes, since that's really important to checking what it is,

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Speaker 2: because otherwise you'll just do it's natural for you. And

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Speaker 2: it is a lot easier for couples if you both

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Speaker 2: have the same love language because you have to think

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Speaker 2: about it. It's unconscious. If you've both got physical touch, boom,

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Speaker 2: you're both in and actually do that. But if one's

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Speaker 2: words and one's physical touch, you actually have to be

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Speaker 2: very conscious to put active time and effort into fulfilling

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Speaker 2: that love language.

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Speaker 4: That can be really challenging.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I had my previous relationship was like that, where

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Speaker 3: my love language was physical touch and words of affirmation,

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Speaker 3: and his was acts of service quality time. So for him,

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Speaker 3: he would give acts of service and quality time, but

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Speaker 3: then wouldn't be so big on the physical touch, whereas

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Speaker 3: the physical touch was like my number one. And then

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Speaker 3: I felt like so deprived of all of those. But

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Speaker 3: he was like, but I do all these and then

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Speaker 3: I'm here and I'm doing all these things and like

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Speaker 3: I'm press and then we spend quality time together.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, but you're not you.

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Speaker 3: Know, you're not touching me, not cuddling me, you're not

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Speaker 3: like giving me that five minutes a couple time before bed,

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Speaker 3: and it just like it was really missed, like effort

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Speaker 3: didn't feel matched.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know.

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Speaker 3: So it's really easy to like misconstrue the way that

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Speaker 3: your partner is doing things for you because it's just

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Speaker 3: not received in a way that you see it as love.

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Speaker 2: And it can be frustrating, if that's how I want

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Speaker 2: to talk about it, because if you don't understand these,

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Speaker 2: you'll feel like you're banging your head against the wall

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Speaker 2: because you're like, I'm trying so hard, it's never going

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Speaker 2: to be good enough. But actually, if you just check

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Speaker 2: in what they actually need and want. And I said

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Speaker 2: this on a previous episode because Steve and I've been

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Speaker 2: talking about all five of them, and he's said, I

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Speaker 2: really want to improve on doing all five of them,

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Speaker 2: not just the one that you say is your favorite.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, why can't I do all of them? Yes?

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Speaker 2: And I reflected to him, like, how can I do

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Speaker 2: all of five for him? It doesn't have to be

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Speaker 2: every day of every week, but like often as you

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Speaker 2: can think about those little things you can do. It's

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Speaker 2: like even this is the other day, Sebro, I love

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Speaker 2: you on a little note down.

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Speaker 1: On my desk.

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Speaker 4: I know, I was so cute.

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Speaker 2: We're taking them two seconds, but like made my whole day. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so cute little things, little little micro moments consist only

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Speaker 2: will keep your relationship consistently more connected, and they'll feel

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Speaker 2: love from you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Why are you in a relationship to feel loved, to

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Speaker 2: feel supported, to feel held, Yeah, to get surprised, to

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Speaker 2: like experience life and make that beautiful together. It's not

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Speaker 2: just the intimate relationships. It's your friends too, yeah, and

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Speaker 2: your coworkers. It is what your kids do, it is.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, it shows up in all different areas and

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Speaker 3: it's also it's because it's humans.

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Speaker 4: You're dealing with humans, You're dealing with a relationship point,

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Speaker 4: you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: Like it's like we only really look at love languages

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Speaker 3: in our intimate relationships, but not in every other area,

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Speaker 3: you know. And so I feel like when you get

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Speaker 3: to create friendships that are really safe and deep, and

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Speaker 3: you know, you treat them as your intimate relationships, as

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Speaker 3: important as those, and then you start to learn, okay, cool,

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Speaker 3: like how can I show this person love in a

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Speaker 3: way that they're going to receive it? You know, you

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Speaker 3: start to inquire a little bit more. It's just yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's so beautiful. Yeah, and you can ask your friends,

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Speaker 3: but also just take note how they give love, Like

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Speaker 3: you're an easy one.

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Speaker 1: You buy everyone flowers.

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Speaker 4: She fucking loves flowers.

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Speaker 1: So easy.

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Speaker 2: I know that you love that because you always do

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Speaker 2: it with Jess, our friend Jess, and she loves receiving flowers.

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Speaker 2: She always use everyone flowers. It's like an obvious interesting

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Speaker 2: you give love how you want to receive it. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I always do everything for everyone, Yeah, every active service,

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Speaker 2: everywhere I can fix help solutions of like I will

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Speaker 2: make everyone's life easy, because that's what I wanted. I

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Speaker 2: wanted people to do that for me. You do do that,

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Speaker 2: but once you're aware of it, you're like, oh, so

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Speaker 2: if you're not sure, and your friends just observe how

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Speaker 2: they give love, no, give you a pretty good idea.

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Speaker 4: You're also a gifts person.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Like I swear, not not every done,

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Speaker 3: but like there are a lot of times when I

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Speaker 3: come in the car and you'd be like, oh.

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Speaker 4: Hey, Baybe just brought you this.

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Speaker 3: I just got you this, like leg it's something that

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Speaker 3: you'll buy for yourself, but then you'll also buy me

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Speaker 3: one too. Yeah. You're just like really thoughtful and generous

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Speaker 3: in that sense, like you'll buy like a little It's

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Speaker 3: all a bit like I bought your chucky or like

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Speaker 3: I bought you this, or I bought you crete gummies

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Speaker 3: or like you know, you just you do. You're very

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Speaker 3: much a gifts person too, Yeah, especially why you're singer

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Speaker 3: like taking.

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Speaker 4: Care of you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, my girl, and I do like gifts now.

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Speaker 2: I think for a while there, I didn't value gifts

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Speaker 2: as much because for the first time in my life,

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Speaker 2: I actually had money to buy my self stuff. But

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Speaker 2: it's not just the gift, it's a thought. It's the

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Speaker 2: thought of someone else going to the effort to buying

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Speaker 2: you the gift, to thinking or even seeing something like, ohyeah,

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Speaker 2: I thought.

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Speaker 1: You'd like this.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I didn't like flowers, but then like you brought

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Speaker 2: me so many flowers like it came home the other day.

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Speaker 1: I was just I didn't know. I think that's an

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Speaker 1: shty day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and this flowers my favorite fun day lollies, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, I feel so loved.

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Speaker 1: It's so nice.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: It's when I think of you getting me stuff all

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Speaker 3: like little things like that. It's the generosity and it's

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Speaker 3: the consideration, you know, because I feel like you're generous

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Speaker 3: in your love and then your consideration in terms of

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Speaker 3: how you want me to feel. Yeah, when I receive

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Speaker 3: gifts from your anything like that, when you've done little

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Speaker 3: things like that for me, that's what I think.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you just want to like make the day a

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Speaker 4: little bit brighter. So if it's a darker day, literally

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Speaker 4: you've done that for me too.

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Speaker 3: When I was going through it, I remember you put

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Speaker 3: little flowers and a little chucky on my doorstep and

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Speaker 3: it was.

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Speaker 4: A pinapple and a pineapple. That's right, call it to

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Speaker 4: the pineapple that was the best. It was actually made

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Speaker 4: me laugh so much. I just like taking photo of

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Speaker 4: this pineapple. The next station's like that was a juicy

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Speaker 4: pineapple that was It was actually a really good one.

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Speaker 1: So funny.

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Speaker 2: And then kids as well, Like I'm learning kids need

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Speaker 2: all five up until they're seven, you shouldn't neglect any

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Speaker 2: of them. But apparently after seven you'll start to notice

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Speaker 2: what their main one is, right, and that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: So Taji definitely needed all of them.

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Speaker 2: But now he's not as physical touch but his little boy,

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Speaker 2: he was more touchy and now he's not. His words

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Speaker 2: like through and three words in quality time. Yeah okay,

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Speaker 2: Like he loves praise. And also that's another thing too,

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Speaker 2: So say, if you're a words of information person, you

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Speaker 2: thrive when someone gives you positive words, but if they

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Speaker 2: criticize you, it kills their fucking soul. So if I

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Speaker 2: have a criticized Taj or give him feedback, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: just see him crush. I get the moment. For example,

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Speaker 2: it's a good example. He wants to edit my YouTube videos.

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Speaker 2: He's encouraged me to get back on YouTube. It's like

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Speaker 2: I want to edit them for you, mum, it's really

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Speaker 2: exciting for me. I want to learn and they can

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Speaker 2: do it together and it's so fun and he's done

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Speaker 2: a great job at it. But doing a thumbnail has

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Speaker 2: been really, really challenging because he can't seem to get

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Speaker 2: the thumbnail right and the sizing of it. And then

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Speaker 2: he tried to use AI and it was making our

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Speaker 2: faces look all disordered, and I gave him feedback. It

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Speaker 2: was like, you know, this might be something I have

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Speaker 2: to outsource to a designer. Or he made one and

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Speaker 2: I just didn't love it. I said, like, I love

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Speaker 2: how you've done this. I sandwich approach it, but I

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Speaker 2: just don't like how this border's on here, Like.

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Speaker 4: Do you think we could change that? And he got

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Speaker 4: really frustrated.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing my best.

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Speaker 4: I have the bad son.

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Speaker 1: Maybe editing's not.

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Speaker 2: Cut out for me, ah Taji, and he had his moment.

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Speaker 2: I just let him have his emotions and I went

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Speaker 2: down to his level because he's on the ground. I said,

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Speaker 2: this has nothing to do with your video editing. You've

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Speaker 2: absolutely nailed the YouTube video. I've had to do a

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Speaker 2: single thing there. This is a thumbnail that AI is

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Speaker 2: not responding to your prompts. Yes and sometimes it dissorts

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Speaker 2: the faces. And this is your first time ever doing

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Speaker 2: a thumbnail. I don't even know how to do a thumbnaw.

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Speaker 2: We can either learn together, or if it's really really

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Speaker 2: stressful and you're not enjoying this process because you enjoy

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Speaker 2: the video editing, we can get someone else to do that.

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Speaker 2: But I could just see and Steve had to put

321
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Speaker 2: me Oh, another example, he's cleaning our cars for money

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Speaker 2: at the moment. The first time we did a terrible job,

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Speaker 2: absolutely terrible marks. I followed the carts and vacuum properly,

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Speaker 2: and Steve's like his first time, he needs to get

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Speaker 2: better each time. Dot at are So the second time

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Speaker 2: you did much put a job, But I just said, like, oh,

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Speaker 2: can you see just the sand in the corner of

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Speaker 2: the car seats here?

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Speaker 1: Like do you reckon? You could do this again and

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Speaker 1: he started to cry.

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Speaker 2: We spoke about it afterwards, and Steve, I think we

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Speaker 2: just need to be really mindful of how he world

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Speaker 2: and really sandwich it. And it's like you can still

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Speaker 2: give feedback, but you can just tell words absolutely crush him. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but then when you praise them, he's.

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Speaker 1: So lit up.

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Speaker 2: Yeahsa Tala, she just loves it all. I couldn't pick

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Speaker 2: one at the moment that she needs more of. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's so interesting. I really love this topic. It's just

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Speaker 2: so cool to get to know what everyone likes and

341
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Speaker 2: needs to feel loved by you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's so interesting.

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Speaker 3: When I'm thinking of my love languages, it's kind of

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Speaker 3: weird because I feel like, when it comes to my

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Speaker 3: love languages words, is I can relate to Taj on

346
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Speaker 3: that one words the big one for me, Yes, like

347
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Speaker 3: I thrive and like love the praise and you know,

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Speaker 3: like just beautiful words.

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Speaker 4: I love that.

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Speaker 3: But when I think about my parents and where that

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Speaker 3: came from, it's like, I think I never really got

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Speaker 3: that from my mom, So that's probably why I have that.

353
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Speaker 3: But it's interesting because I got that from my dad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a parent that you didn't get.

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00:13:06,681 --> 00:13:08,241
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, even though I got it from my dad

356
00:13:08,281 --> 00:13:10,081
Speaker 3: and I love that I receive it from here. I

357
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Speaker 3: enjoy it, but then I also didn't have it from here.

358
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Speaker 3: She's more of an act of service kind of woman

359
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Speaker 3: because she wants people to make her life easier.

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Speaker 4: She wished somebody that for her.

361
00:13:18,921 --> 00:13:21,121
Speaker 1: She's a MoMA of five. She's everything to take care

362
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Speaker 1: of your guy.

363
00:13:21,641 --> 00:13:23,241
Speaker 3: She literally will go above me. She'll give you the

364
00:13:23,281 --> 00:13:25,161
Speaker 3: shirt off her damn back. Like she is a very

365
00:13:25,201 --> 00:13:27,161
Speaker 3: generous woman in terms of her time and how much

366
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Speaker 3: she will do for you and all of the things,

367
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Speaker 3: but in terms of all words, it's just like not

368
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Speaker 3: it's not how she gives love.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was like communicated.

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Speaker 1: Do you like more from her from that? I don't know.

371
00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:38,641
Speaker 4: That's a good question, I don't think so.

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Speaker 3: I think with my mom, there's been, it's been it's

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Speaker 3: been challenging over the years to kind of like get

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Speaker 3: what I need from her. So I think, like, you know,

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Speaker 3: while she's been the best mom and I love her

376
00:13:51,321 --> 00:13:54,361
Speaker 3: and she's an incredible human being. We love Shazzah, there's

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Speaker 3: certain things that I've wanted from her over the years

378
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Speaker 3: that I felt like she maybe didn't have the capacity

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Speaker 3: to give me.

380
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,281
Speaker 1: Which most moms can relate to first out.

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00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,361
Speaker 3: Yeah, So with that, I think it was one of

382
00:14:03,401 --> 00:14:05,361
Speaker 3: those things where I didn't bring to her, kind of

383
00:14:05,401 --> 00:14:07,121
Speaker 3: dealt with on my own and just was like, Okay,

384
00:14:07,121 --> 00:14:09,281
Speaker 3: this is something I can grieve on my own, give

385
00:14:09,361 --> 00:14:11,721
Speaker 3: to myself, and then receive love from her. And the

386
00:14:11,721 --> 00:14:13,921
Speaker 3: way that she gives it, Yes, like I just met

387
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:17,241
Speaker 3: her where she could meet me yep, instead of requiring.

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00:14:16,761 --> 00:14:19,641
Speaker 4: Her to meet me. Yeah, that's about the capacity too,

389
00:14:19,681 --> 00:14:20,361
Speaker 4: If that makes sense.

390
00:14:20,441 --> 00:14:22,281
Speaker 2: I think it's really important in your relationships too, to

391
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:24,321
Speaker 2: be super clear on exactly how that looks. Which I

392
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,041
Speaker 2: know I mentioned this on another episode, but if you

393
00:14:26,041 --> 00:14:28,121
Speaker 2: missed it, I'll just go over it again. When I

394
00:14:28,281 --> 00:14:30,721
Speaker 2: asked Steve, which is his love language at the moment,

395
00:14:30,801 --> 00:14:33,241
Speaker 2: or I want actual examples of what feels good for him?

396
00:14:33,281 --> 00:14:35,001
Speaker 2: So say if it is words I said to him?

397
00:14:35,161 --> 00:14:37,441
Speaker 2: Is that leaving little love notes? Is that through text messages?

398
00:14:37,521 --> 00:14:39,521
Speaker 2: Is that face to face? Is it through love notes?

399
00:14:39,561 --> 00:14:41,201
Speaker 2: Is it three cards? Like?

400
00:14:41,361 --> 00:14:43,121
Speaker 1: What exactly is it? Or is it all of them?

401
00:14:43,161 --> 00:14:43,841
Speaker 1: You love all of it?

402
00:14:43,921 --> 00:14:45,601
Speaker 2: And he's like, oh, I actually need time and space

403
00:14:45,721 --> 00:14:47,521
Speaker 2: like think about this so I can get really clear

404
00:14:47,841 --> 00:14:49,001
Speaker 2: on what would feel good for me.

405
00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:51,481
Speaker 1: So you've got to You've got to really dig the try.

406
00:14:52,121 --> 00:14:52,361
Speaker 4: Yeah.

407
00:14:52,521 --> 00:14:54,281
Speaker 3: You know it's funny you say that, because now I'm

408
00:14:54,281 --> 00:14:56,081
Speaker 3: thinking about I'm like, oh, this is so a conversation

409
00:14:56,121 --> 00:14:57,241
Speaker 3: I reckon I could have with my mom.

410
00:14:57,281 --> 00:14:59,961
Speaker 4: Now I'm like too, yeah, I'm like maybe I'll bring

411
00:14:59,961 --> 00:15:00,561
Speaker 4: it into her.

412
00:15:00,681 --> 00:15:02,601
Speaker 2: And I've had it with Steve lately too, because words

413
00:15:02,721 --> 00:15:05,521
Speaker 2: is up there for me and I I know Steve

414
00:15:05,601 --> 00:15:07,601
Speaker 2: so proud of me, I know it, but he's not

415
00:15:07,801 --> 00:15:10,601
Speaker 2: a worthy person. Yeah, he's just like not the man

416
00:15:10,601 --> 00:15:13,041
Speaker 2: that sends a novel long text of how proud he is.

417
00:15:13,081 --> 00:15:14,761
Speaker 2: He'll say like I'm so proud, babe, and put a

418
00:15:14,761 --> 00:15:15,401
Speaker 2: couple of kisses.

419
00:15:15,801 --> 00:15:17,361
Speaker 1: But I've been saying to him lately like I would

420
00:15:17,441 --> 00:15:18,001
Speaker 1: like more.

421
00:15:18,281 --> 00:15:22,441
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm doing the Rachel signal sign language more please, more,

422
00:15:23,201 --> 00:15:25,161
Speaker 2: we want more, I mean to, don't always joke around,

423
00:15:25,161 --> 00:15:26,001
Speaker 2: like more.

424
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:32,081
Speaker 3: Love, more attention, more valide, validation, words of affirmation, more sweets,

425
00:15:33,441 --> 00:15:35,121
Speaker 3: more hugue, more steakcase.

426
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:36,561
Speaker 4: Holiday.

427
00:15:36,681 --> 00:15:38,481
Speaker 3: Actually have a good amount of those coming up.

428
00:15:38,921 --> 00:15:42,321
Speaker 2: But yeah, so I've been giving him examples of like, Okay,

429
00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:46,321
Speaker 2: this is getting super vulnerable. But I've started these dance classes,

430
00:15:46,801 --> 00:15:49,841
Speaker 2: and for me to go and book a solo dance class,

431
00:15:49,881 --> 00:15:52,441
Speaker 2: it has taken me years to get the courage to

432
00:15:52,481 --> 00:15:54,961
Speaker 2: do this. Dancing for me growing up was my savior.

433
00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:56,881
Speaker 2: It honestly saved my life. It was just what I

434
00:15:56,921 --> 00:15:58,481
Speaker 2: look forward to every day. It was something I was

435
00:15:58,521 --> 00:16:00,401
Speaker 2: really good at. So I got a lot of praise

436
00:16:00,441 --> 00:16:03,321
Speaker 2: in something I enjoyed. I was connected to my body.

437
00:16:03,441 --> 00:16:05,921
Speaker 2: I just I loved it so much. I lived for it.

438
00:16:05,961 --> 00:16:07,921
Speaker 2: And without dance, like, I just don't know how I

439
00:16:07,921 --> 00:16:09,921
Speaker 2: would have got through my childhood and my teenage years.

440
00:16:10,481 --> 00:16:12,681
Speaker 2: And now it's been twenty years and I haven't danced

441
00:16:12,761 --> 00:16:15,321
Speaker 2: for twenty years. So the last couple of years, I've

442
00:16:15,321 --> 00:16:16,961
Speaker 2: been wanting to go back to a class. But I

443
00:16:17,081 --> 00:16:18,801
Speaker 2: used to think when I was in classes and I

444
00:16:18,841 --> 00:16:21,241
Speaker 2: was in my teenage years, the old mom's at the back,

445
00:16:21,321 --> 00:16:22,081
Speaker 2: slowing me down.

446
00:16:22,641 --> 00:16:23,401
Speaker 1: I used to hate it.

447
00:16:23,641 --> 00:16:25,361
Speaker 2: I'd be like, Oh, why these mums in the class

448
00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:28,081
Speaker 2: I go back to your kids actually think that. So

449
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,601
Speaker 2: it stopped me going to a class. I'm like, I

450
00:16:29,601 --> 00:16:30,761
Speaker 2: don't want to be that old mom in the back

451
00:16:30,761 --> 00:16:32,961
Speaker 2: that can't get the routine and the young girls are

452
00:16:32,961 --> 00:16:36,201
Speaker 2: wanting to keep going yeah, and it's valid be slowing

453
00:16:36,201 --> 00:16:39,121
Speaker 2: the class down. So I finally booked a dance class

454
00:16:39,121 --> 00:16:41,321
Speaker 2: and I'm absolutely loving it. And I remember he swiped

455
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,801
Speaker 2: up one day and he was like, oh, my dance

456
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:44,321
Speaker 2: are put up, and he was like, so good, babe.

457
00:16:44,641 --> 00:16:45,361
Speaker 1: I was like, that's it.

458
00:16:46,081 --> 00:16:47,521
Speaker 4: And I remember like a week later, I was like,

459
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:48,641
Speaker 4: are you proud of me?

460
00:16:49,121 --> 00:16:50,761
Speaker 1: Like are you not proud of me? That took a

461
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:51,321
Speaker 1: lot of courage.

462
00:16:51,321 --> 00:16:52,881
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, but you go to heels dance class

463
00:16:52,921 --> 00:16:54,361
Speaker 2: all the time, Like is it not the same thing?

464
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:58,361
Speaker 2: I was like, absolutely not. It's so different and I'm

465
00:16:58,361 --> 00:17:00,561
Speaker 2: not doing it to get as validation. But it also

466
00:17:00,641 --> 00:17:03,401
Speaker 2: is really really nice to have your close ones expressed

467
00:17:03,441 --> 00:17:06,600
Speaker 2: through words of affirmations that they're you. And that was

468
00:17:06,641 --> 00:17:08,641
Speaker 2: just an example of like how I would like more

469
00:17:08,681 --> 00:17:10,880
Speaker 2: of him. That's a musclere. He's like learning to flex

470
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,120
Speaker 2: because it's not very natural for him to talk like that. Yeah,

471
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,041
Speaker 2: he grew up in a house where there was no love,

472
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:18,360
Speaker 2: no words of affirmations, like they talk about emotions. No,

473
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,880
Speaker 2: it wasn't there. So it's not that he's bad at it.

474
00:17:21,961 --> 00:17:24,321
Speaker 2: But now I'm out in my life right now, I'm like,

475
00:17:24,321 --> 00:17:26,400
Speaker 2: this is what I desire to have more of, Like

476
00:17:26,441 --> 00:17:27,401
Speaker 2: can you meet me there?

477
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,000
Speaker 1: And he's like absolutely, I was good to practice.

478
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:31,440
Speaker 2: So the last couple of dances like fuck ye are

479
00:17:31,521 --> 00:17:33,441
Speaker 2: so good when you're throwing your body around, I could

480
00:17:33,441 --> 00:17:33,801
Speaker 2: never do.

481
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,161
Speaker 4: That's so good.

482
00:17:35,281 --> 00:17:36,600
Speaker 1: You can see it's expanding.

483
00:17:37,761 --> 00:17:40,681
Speaker 4: Yeah, it feels nice the effort and like that he

484
00:17:40,681 --> 00:17:41,241
Speaker 4: heard you in.

485
00:17:41,241 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 1: That he heard me.

486
00:17:42,041 --> 00:17:43,601
Speaker 4: He's doing that. That's really beautiful.

487
00:17:43,681 --> 00:17:45,240
Speaker 2: It's even cool for me to hear, like how much

488
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,080
Speaker 2: words mean to you. Now, I feel like we are

489
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:49,241
Speaker 2: pretty wordy with each other. But that makes me go, ah,

490
00:17:49,521 --> 00:17:51,680
Speaker 2: I'm going to click that and it's like yeah, data,

491
00:17:51,721 --> 00:17:54,681
Speaker 2: but like one she loves that. Oh, and you are

492
00:17:54,681 --> 00:17:57,120
Speaker 2: really good with your words too, with like birthday cards

493
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,440
Speaker 2: and stuff like that, Like you put a lot of

494
00:17:58,441 --> 00:18:00,281
Speaker 2: effort in so that's a good sign of.

495
00:18:00,441 --> 00:18:01,080
Speaker 4: That stuff like that.

496
00:18:01,201 --> 00:18:02,121
Speaker 1: You love stuff like that.

497
00:18:02,241 --> 00:18:03,761
Speaker 3: And it's been good for me too. I was literally

498
00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:06,160
Speaker 3: doing the same thing here. I'm like put that in there. Yeah, go,

499
00:18:06,241 --> 00:18:09,880
Speaker 3: life easier, yeap, so good.

500
00:18:10,521 --> 00:18:13,680
Speaker 2: That's so funny, is and it's such a cool way

501
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,321
Speaker 2: to learn how to deepen your connections. And at the

502
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,001
Speaker 2: end of the day, I always want the people around

503
00:18:19,041 --> 00:18:21,041
Speaker 2: me to know how loved and special they are. So

504
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:25,081
Speaker 2: if I can like pinpoint specific ways to do that,

505
00:18:25,281 --> 00:18:27,880
Speaker 2: fuck yeah, I'm winning it. Live Yeah, make the people

506
00:18:27,921 --> 00:18:30,041
Speaker 2: around me feel good. This is such a cool conversation.

507
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,440
Speaker 3: Actually it is because when you can listen, like you

508
00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:36,001
Speaker 3: can discover so much. Even if you have this conversation

509
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,360
Speaker 3: with your girlfriends or friends or family members, and like

510
00:18:38,481 --> 00:18:41,281
Speaker 3: just sit and listen to what they're saying and ask

511
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,481
Speaker 3: them the way that they give love or yeah, things

512
00:18:43,481 --> 00:18:45,121
Speaker 3: like that. You're going to find little pockets of things

513
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,680
Speaker 3: that you can do too. Like my sister Chantel. I

514
00:18:47,721 --> 00:18:50,200
Speaker 3: live with her and she is like, I don't know

515
00:18:50,281 --> 00:18:53,080
Speaker 3: if it's like gifts or acts of service, but like

516
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,241
Speaker 3: she's very big on Like I think it's maybe acts

517
00:18:55,241 --> 00:18:55,600
Speaker 3: of service.

518
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,161
Speaker 4: I think so too, beca many people doing things for her. No,

519
00:18:58,241 --> 00:19:00,401
Speaker 4: but it's in the form of food and snacks and stuff.

520
00:19:00,561 --> 00:19:03,041
Speaker 3: Like she will be the happiest woman alive if I

521
00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,960
Speaker 3: bring her a coffee in the morning and she doesn't have.

522
00:19:04,961 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 1: To ask what she does post about that?

523
00:19:06,761 --> 00:19:11,400
Speaker 4: Does She's so sweet lying Chantella coffee next week. Literally,

524
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,920
Speaker 4: it's like her, she's like you thought of me. She

525
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,321
Speaker 4: posts about that all the time when you buy her coffee.

526
00:19:16,481 --> 00:19:16,880
Speaker 4: Loves it.

527
00:19:16,961 --> 00:19:18,681
Speaker 3: That's why I do it because I know she loves

528
00:19:18,721 --> 00:19:20,521
Speaker 3: and it's her thing in the morning where she's like, oh,

529
00:19:20,521 --> 00:19:21,481
Speaker 3: this is just me time.

530
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:21,801
Speaker 4: You know.

531
00:19:21,801 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 3: Obviously she's got children as well, so she's like, this

532
00:19:24,321 --> 00:19:27,321
Speaker 3: is my mean time, that's my emotional oh period.

533
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:29,880
Speaker 4: That's so sweet.

534
00:19:29,921 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 3: Cute, but yeah, you know, or if she's like having

535
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,321
Speaker 3: a bad day or whatever, I'll buy her like a

536
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,001
Speaker 3: favorite chocolate and yeah, you know, put it down, and she'd.

537
00:19:35,761 --> 00:19:38,001
Speaker 1: Just be like, oh, she launched her business. You put

538
00:19:38,001 --> 00:19:38,521
Speaker 1: her flowers.

539
00:19:38,561 --> 00:19:41,281
Speaker 2: Made me emotional and I wont crying about Bye, you've

540
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:45,760
Speaker 2: got your period. I'm juice, stop it. God, God, I

541
00:19:45,801 --> 00:19:49,521
Speaker 2: know right, I do love her so much. But yeah,

542
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,360
Speaker 2: I remember when she launched her active her business and

543
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,761
Speaker 2: you bought her flowers, and like, I just remember the

544
00:19:53,761 --> 00:19:55,041
Speaker 2: selfie that she posted with it.

545
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,240
Speaker 1: She just looked so lit up. I could tell she

546
00:19:57,241 --> 00:19:59,360
Speaker 1: felt so loved. And that's so nice.

547
00:19:59,441 --> 00:19:59,640
Speaker 2: You know.

548
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:00,601
Speaker 4: It's so beautiful.

549
00:20:00,801 --> 00:20:03,640
Speaker 2: She's literally a single mom to three young children and

550
00:20:03,681 --> 00:20:06,360
Speaker 2: it's working her butt off and to know that she's

551
00:20:06,441 --> 00:20:09,561
Speaker 2: like seen, you know, it just would mean the world

552
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:09,881
Speaker 2: to her.

553
00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:13,321
Speaker 4: Yeah, my god, I'm like crying. I know, no, it is.

554
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:14,640
Speaker 4: It's so beautiful. I'm so proud of her.

555
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:17,200
Speaker 3: She's such an incredible human spits for a lot, like

556
00:20:17,281 --> 00:20:21,001
Speaker 3: having to navigate single parents, being a single parent, you

557
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,121
Speaker 3: have three children all under the age of six, it's

558
00:20:24,241 --> 00:20:26,720
Speaker 3: very full on. But she's a super mama, superhuman and

559
00:20:26,761 --> 00:20:27,120
Speaker 3: what she.

560
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,481
Speaker 1: Does hats off to single moms.

561
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 4: Tell you what, Yeah, hats off to single moms. More

562
00:20:31,801 --> 00:20:34,001
Speaker 4: proud of you, very proud. Not an easy job.

563
00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:34,521
Speaker 3: No.

564
00:20:35,281 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 1: Back to love languages.

565
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:39,241
Speaker 3: Actually love languages, love languages, So my love languages.

566
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 4: Have changed also over the years.

567
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:41,680
Speaker 3: When you said that, I was like, oh, my gosh,

568
00:20:41,761 --> 00:20:45,961
Speaker 3: that's so true because previously I remember words of affirmation

569
00:20:46,041 --> 00:20:49,160
Speaker 3: being really strong in like my past, past relationship, and

570
00:20:49,201 --> 00:20:51,281
Speaker 3: then after that I was like, oh, you know what.

571
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:53,081
Speaker 4: Words not so much. I want acts of service.

572
00:20:53,201 --> 00:20:55,761
Speaker 3: I want like someone who's just going to do and

573
00:20:55,801 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 3: not actually say, which is interesting because it was always

574
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,160
Speaker 3: such a strong one for me. Even now I'm noticing

575
00:21:01,201 --> 00:21:03,120
Speaker 3: I love the words. But then I'm like, hmm, do

576
00:21:03,281 --> 00:21:05,521
Speaker 3: acts of service hit a little bit more for me

577
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,761
Speaker 3: lately or interesting? Yeah, I know that physical touch is

578
00:21:08,761 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 3: always a big one for me. I'm such a like

579
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,200
Speaker 3: a lover girl. Physical touch for me is connection to me.

580
00:21:13,761 --> 00:21:15,241
Speaker 3: So when I get that, I'm like, oh, I feel

581
00:21:15,281 --> 00:21:17,401
Speaker 3: loved or yes, you know, feel close, And I.

582
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 4: Love that when your dad puts petrol in your car,

583
00:21:19,281 --> 00:21:20,121
Speaker 4: it's so sweet.

584
00:21:20,481 --> 00:21:22,920
Speaker 3: That's an active say yes yeah, Which is interesting though,

585
00:21:22,961 --> 00:21:24,801
Speaker 3: because when I grew up like my parents are very

586
00:21:24,961 --> 00:21:26,201
Speaker 3: active service kind of people.

587
00:21:26,281 --> 00:21:28,801
Speaker 4: Yeah, they are, both of them. Yeah, very true.

588
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,561
Speaker 3: But then when they were acts of service people, I

589
00:21:30,681 --> 00:21:32,921
Speaker 3: just wanted quality time and words of affirmation.

590
00:21:32,561 --> 00:21:33,640
Speaker 1: Could just start with the other ones.

591
00:21:33,721 --> 00:21:34,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know, I feel like I've got a

592
00:21:34,921 --> 00:21:37,561
Speaker 3: sufficient amount of that. I kind of am like I'm

593
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 3: chopping and changing.

594
00:21:38,681 --> 00:21:40,801
Speaker 2: So you'd say physical touch on words right now, your

595
00:21:41,241 --> 00:21:43,761
Speaker 2: love languages, quality time. I mean, you like all of them,

596
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,921
Speaker 2: but all of If you had to pick a top two,

597
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:47,801
Speaker 2: oh that's hard, it is.

598
00:21:48,041 --> 00:21:49,481
Speaker 1: It is tricky. Is three?

599
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 4: Go for it?

600
00:21:51,481 --> 00:21:54,241
Speaker 3: Quality time is definitely up there for me, quality time,

601
00:21:54,561 --> 00:21:56,921
Speaker 3: words of affirmation, and acts of service.

602
00:21:56,681 --> 00:21:59,001
Speaker 4: M yeah, what are the other two?

603
00:21:59,281 --> 00:21:59,961
Speaker 1: Physical touch?

604
00:22:01,801 --> 00:22:02,680
Speaker 4: All of them?

605
00:22:02,961 --> 00:22:05,041
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, it is hard to pick, isn't it.

606
00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 3: I think physical touch for me and intimate relationships, Yes,

607
00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:10,001
Speaker 3: it can be different for different people, yes, totally, whereas

608
00:22:10,041 --> 00:22:11,521
Speaker 3: the other three father areas.

609
00:22:11,721 --> 00:22:14,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like physical touch with Steve. But yeah, so

610
00:22:14,321 --> 00:22:15,640
Speaker 2: girlfriends be more quality.

611
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,001
Speaker 4: Times, yes, ondredcent So it depends on the person too.

612
00:22:18,241 --> 00:22:18,521
Speaker 3: Yeah.

613
00:22:19,241 --> 00:22:19,961
Speaker 1: So interesting.

614
00:22:20,921 --> 00:22:22,561
Speaker 2: So there's a book that you can read and there's

615
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,360
Speaker 2: also a test that you can do online. But also

616
00:22:25,481 --> 00:22:28,241
Speaker 2: regardless of the tests, like hopefully just hearing this conversation

617
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 2: you know pretty quickly. Yeah, and have the conversation with

618
00:22:31,721 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 2: your partner even if they say oh like like I

619
00:22:33,681 --> 00:22:35,120
Speaker 2: di would see like words of affirmations.

620
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,001
Speaker 1: How does that feel for you? Is it through texts?

621
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 1: Three notes?

622
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 2: Like?

623
00:22:38,241 --> 00:22:39,121
Speaker 1: Ask more examples?

624
00:22:39,201 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 4: Get've got specific?

625
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,201
Speaker 2: Yeah, a bit of a cheat code because once Steve

626
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,761
Speaker 2: he's doing it today, Actually I love Yeah, I asked

627
00:22:44,801 --> 00:22:46,521
Speaker 2: him to write it all out for me. Once you've

628
00:22:46,521 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 2: got clarity, then you get to put your own creative

629
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:50,281
Speaker 2: spin on it. And that's fun to me. It's like

630
00:22:50,321 --> 00:22:52,561
Speaker 2: finding creative ways to make my loved ones feel more loved.

631
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 1: Like how fun is that?

632
00:22:53,321 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 3: Yeah?

633
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 4: Interesting?

634
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:54,481
Speaker 1: So cool?

635
00:22:54,561 --> 00:22:55,241
Speaker 4: That's good fun.

636
00:22:55,321 --> 00:22:57,041
Speaker 2: Another example for me, like I'll make a big deal

637
00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:00,120
Speaker 2: about someone's birthday. Yeah, guess what I love. I love

638
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:01,721
Speaker 2: when someone makes big deal about my birthday.

639
00:23:02,001 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 4: You love surprises.

640
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:05,001
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I just think there's been so many birthday

641
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,241
Speaker 2: so I've been like forgotten or didn't get to have

642
00:23:07,321 --> 00:23:09,640
Speaker 2: a party or whatever. So I just never wanted anyone

643
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,440
Speaker 2: feeling like Not everyone likes that, So that's something I

644
00:23:11,721 --> 00:23:13,681
Speaker 2: gotta be careful as well, because not everyone loves big

645
00:23:14,241 --> 00:23:15,281
Speaker 2: shing dig for their birthday.

646
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:17,360
Speaker 4: That I don't like all the attention is more attention.

647
00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 2: Yes, I love it. Take my photo. I had like

648
00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:24,001
Speaker 2: a bali I had like five birthdays this year.

649
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:29,400
Speaker 3: Yeah literally really honestly, we rode that wave hard.

650
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:32,441
Speaker 2: We did, and it was the best. But yeah, take

651
00:23:32,561 --> 00:23:34,681
Speaker 2: note of what your friends do because you'll learn a lot.

652
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:38,801
Speaker 4: I love you. I'm literally thinking it had crossed over

653
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:39,561
Speaker 4: two months?

654
00:23:39,921 --> 00:23:41,640
Speaker 1: Really was it two months?

655
00:23:42,041 --> 00:23:43,521
Speaker 4: I think it was gone on like five weeks.

656
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:44,961
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was quite a few things.

657
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:46,281
Speaker 4: It was good to had a great time.

658
00:23:46,281 --> 00:23:47,321
Speaker 1: We had a great time.

659
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,160
Speaker 4: That's how you do it. Yeah, why not. Life should

660
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 4: be celebrated now. Yeah, even the man that I'm dating

661
00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:53,041
Speaker 4: right now.

662
00:23:53,201 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 3: Yes, things that he's mentioned to me, I think maybe

663
00:23:56,681 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 3: acts of service because whenever it has to do with

664
00:23:59,321 --> 00:24:02,121
Speaker 3: food and I like cooked dinner for him like that,

665
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 3: he'll mention it the next day and be like, you

666
00:24:03,961 --> 00:24:05,881
Speaker 3: know that thing that you did last and like that

667
00:24:06,201 --> 00:24:09,321
Speaker 3: is everything. Yeah, okay, it's almost like a taking care energy.

668
00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:11,561
Speaker 1: Well that's nurturing. So yeah, it makes sense.

669
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,321
Speaker 3: So I think maybe like acts of service physical touch

670
00:24:14,360 --> 00:24:15,361
Speaker 3: is a big one for him.

671
00:24:15,961 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 2: And because he's always out and about with his work.

672
00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know, but I'm assuming, maye, he doesn't

673
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 2: have enough time or prioritize to cook and prep or whatever. Yes,

674
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,001
Speaker 2: so you doing that for him? He's like, Oh, I

675
00:24:25,001 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 2: get this beautiful home cooked me or by the girl

676
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,281
Speaker 2: that I'm like obsessed with. That makes him feel really nice.

677
00:24:30,321 --> 00:24:33,160
Speaker 3: And it's interesting though, because he is very good with

678
00:24:33,241 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 3: words of affirmation.

679
00:24:34,441 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, like that might be his love language then too.

680
00:24:36,681 --> 00:24:38,640
Speaker 3: Well, I think it is, actually, but I don't know

681
00:24:38,681 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 3: how well he is at receiving it. I have to

682
00:24:40,201 --> 00:24:44,521
Speaker 3: ask him, actually, because he's obviously so used to giving it. Yeah.

683
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,161
Speaker 3: I always used to feel like I was the person

684
00:24:46,201 --> 00:24:47,801
Speaker 3: who did words of affirmation, and I feel like he

685
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 3: tops me. Yeah. He's a very good communicative Yeah, wordy

686
00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:53,481
Speaker 3: kind of guy, like loves to talk, loves to talk

687
00:24:53,561 --> 00:24:57,281
Speaker 3: be conversationalists. Yeah, so when he does give words of affirmation,

688
00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:58,761
Speaker 3: it's beautiful, you know.

689
00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:00,681
Speaker 4: But I'm like, oh, this is very interesting. I feel

690
00:25:00,681 --> 00:25:01,640
Speaker 4: like I just learned something about him.

691
00:25:01,681 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 1: It's so interesting.

692
00:25:02,801 --> 00:25:03,281
Speaker 4: Yeah.

693
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,321
Speaker 2: I was teaching my neighbors about it because they didn't

694
00:25:05,321 --> 00:25:07,321
Speaker 2: even know what theirs was. So they asked me a

695
00:25:07,321 --> 00:25:09,801
Speaker 2: bunch of questions. And you can even see with some

696
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 2: people they can't receive it.

697
00:25:11,721 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 4: So that's thinking.

698
00:25:13,321 --> 00:25:16,400
Speaker 2: One of my neighbors he was like gifts, but I

699
00:25:16,441 --> 00:25:18,961
Speaker 2: can tell his words like he doesn't. It doesn't receive

700
00:25:19,041 --> 00:25:22,041
Speaker 2: him very well, but I can tell like he likes words,

701
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:24,121
Speaker 2: and he's that kind of guy that you can call

702
00:25:24,201 --> 00:25:25,641
Speaker 2: and do anything for everyone from.

703
00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:28,281
Speaker 1: Like access service. Yes, but receiving it for some people

704
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,120
Speaker 1: is really really hard.

705
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,321
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it.

706
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 3: I think for him as well, he goes above and

707
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,321
Speaker 3: beyond in terms of like we'll do anything for you,

708
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,121
Speaker 3: So maybe like acts of service and words of performation.

709
00:25:39,321 --> 00:25:41,841
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't prowl the shit out. Yeah, I think

710
00:25:41,921 --> 00:25:44,041
Speaker 4: sounds like hope he doesn't listen to this.

711
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,961
Speaker 1: Stay tued even if he does. You know it's true.

712
00:25:48,961 --> 00:25:50,360
Speaker 4: It's true, and then I think the world of you.

713
00:25:50,801 --> 00:25:54,521
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like if you guys, haven't any other questions.

714
00:25:54,561 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 2: Pop it into our private Facebook forum. We have the

715
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,961
Speaker 2: Shoe Rises for him that is free for anyone to join.

716
00:25:59,041 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 2: If you want more support other women to connect with,

717
00:26:01,281 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 2: pop it in there. Otherwise we'll see you on the

718
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:04,400
Speaker 2: next one.

719
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 1: I see you on mone day. Thanks for joining us.

720
00:26:06,001 --> 00:26:07,481
Speaker 1: Bye bye

721
00:26:13,201 --> 00:26:13,481
Speaker 3: MHM