1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,201 Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashley 2 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,081 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. 3 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to 4 00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 6 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,801 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. 8 00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:30,761 Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. 9 00:00:31,721 --> 00:00:35,681 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, Welcome back to She Rises. Today. We're talking 10 00:00:35,721 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: about being sober. It's a little bit of a controversial 11 00:00:38,961 --> 00:00:41,961 Speaker 1: topic and I'm sure we may ruffle a few feathers, 12 00:00:41,961 --> 00:00:44,681 Speaker 1: but come in with an open mind. Hear our perspective 13 00:00:44,801 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: and our reasoning why. And we're not coming on here 14 00:00:46,961 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: to say never drink alcohol again. We are surrounded by 15 00:00:50,321 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: people that love to have a drink, some more than others. 16 00:00:52,961 --> 00:00:54,441 Speaker 1: Most of my friends love to have a drink though 17 00:00:54,481 --> 00:00:56,441 Speaker 1: or have previous in the past, and there's no judgment 18 00:00:56,481 --> 00:00:59,121 Speaker 1: on that. There's just reasons why we don't value it 19 00:00:59,161 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: and why it hasn't served us and why we are 20 00:01:01,921 --> 00:01:04,281 Speaker 1: now fully sober. I actually had a sip of a 21 00:01:04,321 --> 00:01:07,081 Speaker 1: cocktail last night. It was disgusting, did you It was 22 00:01:07,121 --> 00:01:08,961 Speaker 1: purely out of a reaction because Sarah was like, oh 23 00:01:09,001 --> 00:01:11,121 Speaker 1: my god, it's so funny when actually like drinks our cogs. 24 00:01:11,121 --> 00:01:13,521 Speaker 1: My face is just like, it's easy for me not 25 00:01:13,521 --> 00:01:15,241 Speaker 1: to drink, so I don't even like the taste of it. 26 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 1: It was some like cherry one ooh it. 27 00:01:17,441 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 2: Was so bad. 28 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,641 Speaker 1: But otherwise, yeah, we don't drink. So it's an interesting conversation. 29 00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: But before we get into it. Share of the Week, 30 00:01:23,961 --> 00:01:26,081 Speaker 1: t want me to go first and see you go first. Okay, 31 00:01:26,081 --> 00:01:28,081 Speaker 1: this is something Steve sent me on Facebook. You saw 32 00:01:28,081 --> 00:01:30,121 Speaker 1: a post. I can't quote who wrote it, but it 33 00:01:30,161 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: was so cool I'm gonna read it out. You're holding 34 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 1: a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps 35 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,081 Speaker 1: into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your 36 00:01:37,121 --> 00:01:40,401 Speaker 1: coffee everywhere. Why did you smell the coffee? Well, because 37 00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:43,961 Speaker 1: someone bummed into me. Wrong answer. You spilled the coffee 38 00:01:43,961 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: because there was coffee in your cup. Had there be 39 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,241 Speaker 1: tea in your cup, you would have spilled tea. Whatever 40 00:01:49,361 --> 00:01:52,441 Speaker 1: is inside the cup is what will spill out. Therefore, 41 00:01:52,761 --> 00:01:55,761 Speaker 1: when life comes along and shakes you, which it will happen, 42 00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:59,321 Speaker 1: whatever is inside you will come out. It's easy to 43 00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:01,921 Speaker 1: fake it until you get rattled, So we have to 44 00:02:01,961 --> 00:02:04,961 Speaker 1: ask ourselves what's in my cup when life gets tough? 45 00:02:05,321 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 1: What spills over? Is it joy, gratitude, peace and humility? 46 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:15,721 Speaker 1: Or is it anger, bitterness, victim mentality and quitting tendencies? 47 00:02:16,161 --> 00:02:19,481 Speaker 1: Life provides the cup, You choose how you feel it. 48 00:02:19,761 --> 00:02:24,240 Speaker 1: So today, let's work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, 49 00:02:24,641 --> 00:02:29,841 Speaker 1: words of affirmation, resilience, positivity and kindness, gentleness and love 50 00:02:29,921 --> 00:02:34,201 Speaker 1: for ourselves and others. Isn't that so true when you 51 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,761 Speaker 1: get rattled, it comes out. Yeah, it's so true of 52 00:02:37,841 --> 00:02:40,721 Speaker 1: seeing that in ourselves and so many other people. I 53 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,081 Speaker 1: just love that. When you said that to me, I 54 00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 1: was like, wow, I think I read it to you 55 00:02:43,721 --> 00:02:44,321 Speaker 1: on the way to the gym. 56 00:02:45,041 --> 00:02:47,601 Speaker 2: I beautiful analogy is it gives you like a visual 57 00:02:47,641 --> 00:02:51,721 Speaker 2: description of what it's like to like to really understand 58 00:02:52,281 --> 00:02:54,961 Speaker 2: like taking responsibility in a way like it's not because 59 00:02:55,001 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 2: of other people. It's like you are responsible for how 60 00:02:57,841 --> 00:02:59,761 Speaker 2: you're responding to life almost. 61 00:02:59,401 --> 00:03:01,281 Speaker 1: And even when you get rattled, like you want your 62 00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:04,961 Speaker 1: cup to spill out with compassion and love for yourself 63 00:03:05,161 --> 00:03:06,801 Speaker 1: and what you're going through or for others and what 64 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,361 Speaker 1: they're going through, Like you don't want to be angry, 65 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,321 Speaker 1: you don't want to be reseentful, you don't want to 66 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:14,281 Speaker 1: be getting revenge, and like spitting venom out. You think 67 00:03:14,321 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: it's gonna make you feel better, but it won't. It's 68 00:03:16,281 --> 00:03:18,361 Speaker 1: not how I want to show up. It's really cool. 69 00:03:18,401 --> 00:03:18,801 Speaker 2: I love that. 70 00:03:19,001 --> 00:03:19,841 Speaker 1: Yeah, what's yours? 71 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,321 Speaker 2: My share of the week. It's a product is a 72 00:03:21,361 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 2: little bit more random, but I'm gonna butcher the name 73 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 2: of X. I always do. But it's this really hydrating, 74 00:03:27,001 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 2: thick moisturizing cream that's from like Flatneries or something. It's 75 00:03:30,841 --> 00:03:33,481 Speaker 2: like a health food store. I've been using it recently, 76 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:36,001 Speaker 2: like day and night, and I kid you not, Like 77 00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:39,641 Speaker 2: my skin has been so like hydrated and plump and 78 00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:42,561 Speaker 2: like just been so nice that I haven't even really 79 00:03:42,601 --> 00:03:44,961 Speaker 2: been wearing makeup through the day, but like a tiny 80 00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:46,641 Speaker 2: bit of a scar on and maybe a little bit 81 00:03:46,681 --> 00:03:49,041 Speaker 2: of lipliner and I'm good to go. And normally, like 82 00:03:49,441 --> 00:03:51,401 Speaker 2: I love makeup, Like I love doing my makeup. I 83 00:03:51,441 --> 00:03:54,041 Speaker 2: find it's so fun and like such a creative outlet 84 00:03:54,041 --> 00:03:55,281 Speaker 2: for me. So I'm like I love to do it, 85 00:03:55,841 --> 00:03:57,361 Speaker 2: but I don't feel like I need to. I think 86 00:03:57,361 --> 00:04:01,441 Speaker 2: it's Fordella Widella Food for Skin or something food for skin. Yeah, yeah, 87 00:04:01,481 --> 00:04:04,001 Speaker 2: I always butcher it. But yeah, it's that it's a 88 00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:07,961 Speaker 2: really really good product and like so like well priced 89 00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:10,081 Speaker 2: as well. I'm just like I need like twenty of 90 00:04:10,121 --> 00:04:10,841 Speaker 2: them in my coverage. 91 00:04:10,881 --> 00:04:11,121 Speaker 1: Yeah. 92 00:04:11,241 --> 00:04:11,481 Speaker 2: Yeah. 93 00:04:11,521 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: And it comes in a dark green and a light green. 94 00:04:14,241 --> 00:04:16,881 Speaker 1: So the dark green is a really thick one and 95 00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:19,121 Speaker 1: then a light green is like more than every day one. 96 00:04:19,121 --> 00:04:20,881 Speaker 1: But the thick one I like to use at nighttime. 97 00:04:21,521 --> 00:04:23,801 Speaker 1: I can't use it thick one in the morning it's 98 00:04:23,841 --> 00:04:26,001 Speaker 1: too much because I wear foundation. I feel like it 99 00:04:26,041 --> 00:04:29,401 Speaker 1: makes my skin more shiny. Yeah, but at nighttime it's 100 00:04:29,481 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: like a full mask almost, like it's so thick and 101 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,161 Speaker 1: beautiful and it's all clean, natural ingredients. Yea. 102 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,161 Speaker 2: I just love it because I get really dry skin, 103 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 2: so like someone gets dry skin, I'm like when I 104 00:04:38,481 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 2: have that, I'm like, it absorbs in my skin really well. 105 00:04:41,121 --> 00:04:43,081 Speaker 2: So all my drug Alley's out here, you'll love it. 106 00:04:43,201 --> 00:04:45,601 Speaker 1: Yes, And it is really cheap. Yeah yeah. 107 00:04:45,681 --> 00:04:47,601 Speaker 2: I think it was like thirteen Oh I don't know. 108 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:48,481 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's around that. 109 00:04:48,561 --> 00:04:50,601 Speaker 2: It's around that like thirteen or fifteen dollars or something. 110 00:04:50,601 --> 00:04:51,481 Speaker 2: For like a tube like this. 111 00:04:51,641 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 1: It's crazy. Yeah, so cool. Yeah, all right, let's get 112 00:04:55,081 --> 00:04:57,321 Speaker 1: into it. Let's do it. We're both sober queens. 113 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,721 Speaker 2: We are, and I'm like talking like one hundred percent sober. 114 00:05:00,961 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 2: Not I drink on a weekend or I drink on 115 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,441 Speaker 2: a birthday or a special occasion, like a one of 116 00:05:06,481 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 2: a kind of galeah. 117 00:05:07,921 --> 00:05:10,241 Speaker 1: And I think, apart from my one sip last night 118 00:05:11,001 --> 00:05:13,081 Speaker 1: just for the lolls, I could not tell you the 119 00:05:13,161 --> 00:05:17,161 Speaker 1: last time I had a drink, probably before Tala, I think, 120 00:05:18,001 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 1: And the last time I was drunk, I would think 121 00:05:20,641 --> 00:05:23,961 Speaker 1: I was around maybe twenty six or maybe ten years ago. Yeah, 122 00:05:24,121 --> 00:05:28,121 Speaker 1: long time ago. Yeah, So tell me about your story 123 00:05:28,121 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: with alcohol. I know you went through a little party 124 00:05:30,481 --> 00:05:33,801 Speaker 1: stage where Tatiana was a bit wild. Did you love it? 125 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,321 Speaker 1: Did you have a good time? And then what made 126 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:35,721 Speaker 1: you stop? 127 00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:39,041 Speaker 2: I did love it. I always found it so fun. 128 00:05:39,281 --> 00:05:40,681 Speaker 2: I felt like when I would drink, it was like 129 00:05:40,721 --> 00:05:43,201 Speaker 2: a different version of me got to be expressed. And 130 00:05:43,201 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 2: this is why I talk about not suppressing parts of 131 00:05:45,241 --> 00:05:49,241 Speaker 2: yourself the whole other conversation, but a different part of 132 00:05:49,281 --> 00:05:51,041 Speaker 2: me like came out. It was like a care free 133 00:05:51,121 --> 00:05:53,561 Speaker 2: version of Tiana Tiana who didn't care about what other 134 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:57,441 Speaker 2: people thought. Someone who just was free. 135 00:05:56,961 --> 00:06:00,441 Speaker 1: In a critic gets silenced through alcohol more substances. 136 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:04,241 Speaker 2: Absolutely, and through that party phase, it was also like 137 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:06,801 Speaker 2: a I care about what other people thought. And also 138 00:06:06,841 --> 00:06:09,041 Speaker 2: I was trying to suppress a few things, like if 139 00:06:09,081 --> 00:06:11,281 Speaker 2: you had guys have listened to the other podcast episode 140 00:06:11,281 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 2: about my sex tape, Like I was suppressing a lot 141 00:06:14,481 --> 00:06:18,601 Speaker 2: of things and feelings and emotions from that phase that, 142 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,161 Speaker 2: you know, alcohol became like a clutch for me where 143 00:06:22,201 --> 00:06:24,281 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, but then I didn't care about 144 00:06:24,281 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 2: what people thought even more of me, and I could 145 00:06:26,521 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 2: do whatever I wanted and I could be free and 146 00:06:28,841 --> 00:06:29,561 Speaker 2: you know, but it. 147 00:06:29,481 --> 00:06:31,201 Speaker 1: Got to do a good feeling in the moment. 148 00:06:31,081 --> 00:06:33,281 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. It was like, oh, it was like unleashed, 149 00:06:33,361 --> 00:06:35,881 Speaker 2: like this just carefree version of myself. You just didn't 150 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 2: give a shit, you know. But then it became like 151 00:06:38,561 --> 00:06:42,600 Speaker 2: unhealthy and I remember just like pushing myself to the limit, 152 00:06:42,961 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 2: you know, partying every weekend and like dabbling in you know, 153 00:06:46,521 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 2: party drugs and you know, drinking all the time, and 154 00:06:49,561 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 2: just wasn't like a healthy version of myself or someone 155 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,601 Speaker 2: that I was proud of, even I just wouldn't make 156 00:06:54,641 --> 00:06:56,921 Speaker 2: the best decisions, and I wake up and I feel 157 00:06:56,921 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 2: shameful about it the next day, or you know, just 158 00:06:59,561 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 2: judge myself for it and be like this isn't the 159 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 2: person you say that you want to be, you know, 160 00:07:03,521 --> 00:07:05,601 Speaker 2: but we're doing that, so it's like what are we 161 00:07:05,641 --> 00:07:09,801 Speaker 2: doing here kind of thing. And I remember even like accidentally, 162 00:07:09,841 --> 00:07:13,241 Speaker 2: like putting myself in hospital. I accidentally overdid it one 163 00:07:13,321 --> 00:07:16,881 Speaker 2: night and I dabbled in a few different party drugs 164 00:07:16,881 --> 00:07:22,081 Speaker 2: and stuff like that. And after a weekend, I realized 165 00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:26,121 Speaker 2: that I couldn't move my neck. And I couldn't move 166 00:07:26,121 --> 00:07:28,641 Speaker 2: my neck for like five days. So I laid in bed, 167 00:07:28,961 --> 00:07:31,081 Speaker 2: told my work that I was sick. I was still 168 00:07:31,081 --> 00:07:32,801 Speaker 2: working in construction at the time, so I was working 169 00:07:32,801 --> 00:07:35,641 Speaker 2: for my dad and I was sick, couldn't get out 170 00:07:35,641 --> 00:07:37,761 Speaker 2: of bed, couldn't move, couldn't sleep, and I cried all night. 171 00:07:37,921 --> 00:07:39,561 Speaker 2: I went to the doctors on the Friday, and I 172 00:07:39,641 --> 00:07:41,081 Speaker 2: called my mom and I was like, Mom, like, this 173 00:07:41,121 --> 00:07:43,321 Speaker 2: is what's happening, bulled my eyes out. She's like, what 174 00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:47,281 Speaker 2: the fuck? Tiana like you're okay. Anyway, went to the 175 00:07:47,281 --> 00:07:49,601 Speaker 2: hospital and they told me that my neck was like 176 00:07:49,641 --> 00:07:54,441 Speaker 2: temporarily paralyzed because whatever I had taken or mixed or whatever, 177 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:57,441 Speaker 2: just like silly drugs, did something to like my spine. 178 00:07:57,681 --> 00:07:59,641 Speaker 2: Whoa yeah, and so I had to get like this 179 00:07:59,761 --> 00:08:02,081 Speaker 2: needle that was like this long in my spine and anyway, 180 00:08:02,121 --> 00:08:03,721 Speaker 2: they ended up giving me fluids and stuff, and I 181 00:08:03,761 --> 00:08:06,961 Speaker 2: was like thankfully, like fine, but it was like up 182 00:08:07,001 --> 00:08:09,761 Speaker 2: cool that moment. I was just like, You're never doing 183 00:08:09,761 --> 00:08:12,961 Speaker 2: this again, ever again. And I stopped drinking after that. 184 00:08:13,161 --> 00:08:17,481 Speaker 1: Wow, that's so cool, Like what a pivotal moment. It's universe. 185 00:08:17,481 --> 00:08:19,601 Speaker 2: I scared the daylight out of me, Babe. I was 186 00:08:19,801 --> 00:08:23,401 Speaker 2: terrified because, yeah, I was like something bad could really happen. 187 00:08:23,561 --> 00:08:25,321 Speaker 2: And I don't know what's in these things that I'm 188 00:08:25,441 --> 00:08:28,201 Speaker 2: taking and having fun on and also using in a 189 00:08:28,281 --> 00:08:31,241 Speaker 2: not very productive way, like I'm using to escape my life, 190 00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,681 Speaker 2: you know, to escape myself things that I don't want 191 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,641 Speaker 2: to feel anymore. And I was just like, you're not 192 00:08:35,721 --> 00:08:38,281 Speaker 2: this version of yourself, Like this is not who you are, 193 00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:40,561 Speaker 2: so let's do something about it. And I made a 194 00:08:40,601 --> 00:08:43,121 Speaker 2: promise to myself and I never looked back. Wow, literally 195 00:08:43,321 --> 00:08:46,361 Speaker 2: stopped from that, but like obviously I still drank on 196 00:08:46,441 --> 00:08:48,961 Speaker 2: birthdays and occasions and things like that, but never to 197 00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:52,961 Speaker 2: the point where I would get drunk again. Yeah, big difference, 198 00:08:53,121 --> 00:08:53,801 Speaker 2: big difference. 199 00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:56,761 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's how we're not on here, Like saying 200 00:08:56,761 --> 00:08:59,281 Speaker 1: never drinking. I've got friends that have very healthy relationships 201 00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:02,961 Speaker 1: with alcohol, but there's sometimes when people go so but 202 00:09:02,961 --> 00:09:05,681 Speaker 1: there's normally like a big pivotal moment or or something 203 00:09:05,681 --> 00:09:08,081 Speaker 1: that just makes them go at yeah, it's not safe, 204 00:09:08,161 --> 00:09:11,801 Speaker 1: it's not good, it doesn't serve me. Yeah. 205 00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:14,241 Speaker 2: That's definitely part of the reason why I stopped. But 206 00:09:14,281 --> 00:09:18,841 Speaker 2: then also as I grew, I realized, oh, wow, like 207 00:09:18,961 --> 00:09:20,681 Speaker 2: I can make so much more progress when I'm not 208 00:09:20,721 --> 00:09:24,241 Speaker 2: drinking every weekend. You know, my fitness goals, my life goals, 209 00:09:24,281 --> 00:09:26,881 Speaker 2: my business goals, Like I'm on track and I'm not 210 00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,641 Speaker 2: undoing all the work I'm doing on the weekday over 211 00:09:29,681 --> 00:09:31,481 Speaker 2: two days of the weekend and then having to start 212 00:09:31,521 --> 00:09:34,961 Speaker 2: fresh on Monday, like having undone all the work that 213 00:09:35,001 --> 00:09:37,201 Speaker 2: I just did and achieved. And I was like, wow, 214 00:09:37,241 --> 00:09:40,161 Speaker 2: I can actually make progress with this. And then I 215 00:09:40,201 --> 00:09:42,281 Speaker 2: started to become really proud of myself and I was 216 00:09:42,321 --> 00:09:44,121 Speaker 2: like it's cool. It kind of became like this little 217 00:09:44,121 --> 00:09:45,521 Speaker 2: thing where I was like yeah, I don't drink, and 218 00:09:45,561 --> 00:09:47,721 Speaker 2: I was like, and I drink, Like it just became 219 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,241 Speaker 2: fun for me. It was like a game with myself 220 00:09:50,561 --> 00:09:53,201 Speaker 2: being like, you don't have to do this anymore, Like 221 00:09:53,281 --> 00:09:55,761 Speaker 2: you can learn to have fun without alcohol. 222 00:09:55,921 --> 00:09:56,521 Speaker 1: It's cool. 223 00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:59,001 Speaker 2: And it was such a cool transition. It was hard, 224 00:09:59,121 --> 00:09:59,921 Speaker 2: but it was cool. 225 00:10:00,281 --> 00:10:03,521 Speaker 1: That's awesome. Yeah, mine was more different, Like I think 226 00:10:03,761 --> 00:10:07,121 Speaker 1: mine's more childhood trom growing up was I felt like 227 00:10:07,161 --> 00:10:09,441 Speaker 1: my parents and just everyone around me drank a lot, 228 00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:12,961 Speaker 1: even going into my teen years. Like I remember at school, 229 00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:17,121 Speaker 1: he's even like just my friends just partying so hard 230 00:10:17,161 --> 00:10:20,321 Speaker 1: and me just seeing how they were acting and the 231 00:10:20,321 --> 00:10:23,241 Speaker 1: things that they did and then regretted and hated themselves for. 232 00:10:23,801 --> 00:10:25,201 Speaker 1: Like I remember one night I went to bed, it 233 00:10:25,241 --> 00:10:27,241 Speaker 1: didn't go out partying at schoolies, and I woke up 234 00:10:27,241 --> 00:10:29,121 Speaker 1: to one of my girlfriends you pulled over my bedside 235 00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:31,401 Speaker 1: table at a hotel, pulled a pants and it just 236 00:10:31,401 --> 00:10:34,521 Speaker 1: started like wing in the drawer and my brain new 237 00:10:34,561 --> 00:10:37,041 Speaker 1: phone was on the floor charging. Oh no, I'd like 238 00:10:37,121 --> 00:10:39,001 Speaker 1: worked so hard to save up for because back then 239 00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:40,881 Speaker 1: it wasn't on a plan or anything, and she ruined 240 00:10:40,921 --> 00:10:43,161 Speaker 1: my phone. I was just so upset and just so 241 00:10:43,201 --> 00:10:46,281 Speaker 1: many situations that they got into. And I had moments 242 00:10:46,321 --> 00:10:48,761 Speaker 1: where I got really drunk as a teenager, but like 243 00:10:49,121 --> 00:10:51,641 Speaker 1: it was just an awful experience. It was never a 244 00:10:51,681 --> 00:10:54,041 Speaker 1: time where I was like, wow, that was so much fun, 245 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,361 Speaker 1: and it was like, what the fuck happened last night? 246 00:10:56,681 --> 00:10:58,841 Speaker 1: And I was so sick the next day, like I 247 00:10:58,961 --> 00:11:01,041 Speaker 1: cannot handle my alcohol. I will get so hung over 248 00:11:01,081 --> 00:11:04,321 Speaker 1: the next day. And there was just never anything good 249 00:11:04,361 --> 00:11:07,641 Speaker 1: that came from. And then when I met Steve, we 250 00:11:07,721 --> 00:11:09,921 Speaker 1: partied a little bit together and we went to festivals 251 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,321 Speaker 1: and our whole crew was like, you know, we went 252 00:11:12,321 --> 00:11:13,841 Speaker 1: through our party phase and it was just it was 253 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,921 Speaker 1: a lot of fun and I really tried to fit 254 00:11:15,961 --> 00:11:18,681 Speaker 1: in and do the things, but it just never felt right. 255 00:11:19,841 --> 00:11:22,441 Speaker 1: And then yeah, as I got older, I just stopped 256 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:25,641 Speaker 1: really drinking. And I definitely doubled in party drugs too 257 00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,361 Speaker 1: when I was younger, and that wasn't for very long. 258 00:11:27,401 --> 00:11:28,841 Speaker 1: That never felt really good for me. I think I 259 00:11:28,881 --> 00:11:31,401 Speaker 1: just did it to fit in and try it, and like, yeah, 260 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,241 Speaker 1: I had some fun times, but it never felt good 261 00:11:33,281 --> 00:11:35,601 Speaker 1: for me, and it made me so riddled with anxiety. 262 00:11:35,721 --> 00:11:37,721 Speaker 1: Like if I had a big night I went to 263 00:11:37,761 --> 00:11:40,081 Speaker 1: a festival like the whole next week, I was just 264 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:43,561 Speaker 1: riddled with anxiety. My skin would break out. I would 265 00:11:43,601 --> 00:11:47,761 Speaker 1: just feel so dysregulated and just awful. See as I 266 00:11:47,761 --> 00:11:50,561 Speaker 1: got older, I kind of just like slowed right down. 267 00:11:50,601 --> 00:11:51,961 Speaker 1: And then it was like I would have wanted a 268 00:11:52,001 --> 00:11:54,521 Speaker 1: birthday just to fit in. I felt like, Oh, maybe 269 00:11:54,521 --> 00:11:56,681 Speaker 1: it'd be nice this time, Maybe I'll enjoy the flavor 270 00:11:57,121 --> 00:11:59,561 Speaker 1: I found Amorto stole. It's probably the only drinker would have. 271 00:11:59,601 --> 00:12:02,481 Speaker 1: I do like the taste of that, but it's so sweet. Yeah, 272 00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:04,841 Speaker 1: And then I suppose I just watched my Beautiful girl 273 00:12:04,881 --> 00:12:07,321 Speaker 1: from Makes You go on a journey of giving up alcohol, 274 00:12:07,881 --> 00:12:09,481 Speaker 1: and it was really cool to go through that with 275 00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:12,361 Speaker 1: her and share my perspectives. And I think at the 276 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:15,481 Speaker 1: end of the day it was like deciding to not 277 00:12:15,681 --> 00:12:18,921 Speaker 1: drink was quite an easy decision because it's like, what 278 00:12:19,001 --> 00:12:22,361 Speaker 1: do I value in my life? I value health, always 279 00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:25,681 Speaker 1: value being healthy. Alcohod doesn't fit that. I value connection. 280 00:12:25,921 --> 00:12:29,001 Speaker 1: Being drunk is not true connection. It's like, Ooh, you 281 00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:31,321 Speaker 1: think you're connected, but it's not with yourself and with 282 00:12:31,361 --> 00:12:34,641 Speaker 1: other people. I value glowing skin. My skin would always 283 00:12:34,641 --> 00:12:36,641 Speaker 1: break out if I had alcohol to get like two 284 00:12:36,761 --> 00:12:40,521 Speaker 1: or three raging big pimples. It's aw four. I value 285 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:44,281 Speaker 1: my energy, I value my sleep, and I value a 286 00:12:44,321 --> 00:12:48,441 Speaker 1: really regulated nervous system. I value my career and being 287 00:12:48,441 --> 00:12:50,801 Speaker 1: able to show up for women and when I'm drinking 288 00:12:50,841 --> 00:12:53,001 Speaker 1: and partying, like, I can't do any of that. So 289 00:12:53,001 --> 00:12:55,481 Speaker 1: why would I let that one thing that I don't 290 00:12:55,601 --> 00:13:01,961 Speaker 1: value negatively impact everything I do value. It's an easy answer. Yeah, So, yeah, 291 00:13:01,961 --> 00:13:03,441 Speaker 1: it's been really cool. And yeah, I can't remember the 292 00:13:03,481 --> 00:13:06,121 Speaker 1: last time I had a proper drink. And Steve has 293 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:08,361 Speaker 1: given up alcohol, which is really cool, just in like 294 00:13:08,401 --> 00:13:11,721 Speaker 1: the last year. And yeah, it's been really awesome. Megs, 295 00:13:11,761 --> 00:13:14,561 Speaker 1: he doesn't drink anymore. A lot of people around me 296 00:13:14,641 --> 00:13:17,521 Speaker 1: are really stopping drinking. I think a lot of people 297 00:13:17,601 --> 00:13:19,641 Speaker 1: have a story that they have to drink to have fun, 298 00:13:19,721 --> 00:13:22,241 Speaker 1: or have to drink to connect, but you actually don't. 299 00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:24,881 Speaker 1: When you're around your people and people that you truly 300 00:13:24,881 --> 00:13:26,761 Speaker 1: connect with, you have just as much fun. 301 00:13:26,801 --> 00:13:27,481 Speaker 2: It's so much. 302 00:13:27,601 --> 00:13:30,161 Speaker 1: I went to Tasha's wedding last year. I was a 303 00:13:30,161 --> 00:13:31,881 Speaker 1: person that was on the dance for like the most 304 00:13:32,241 --> 00:13:34,361 Speaker 1: and Steve was sitting back because you're like, it's wild. 305 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,681 Speaker 1: People would think you were the drunkest person he are 306 00:13:37,081 --> 00:13:39,521 Speaker 1: because you were the craziest when doing like the Nutbush 307 00:13:39,561 --> 00:13:41,841 Speaker 1: and all the dancers, and I'm just like whoa like, 308 00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:43,881 Speaker 1: don't care what anyone thinks. I'm the life of the 309 00:13:43,921 --> 00:13:46,041 Speaker 1: party and I haven't had one sip of alcohol. Yeah, 310 00:13:46,081 --> 00:13:48,761 Speaker 1: and that's so cool. Yeah, I am that vibration and 311 00:13:48,881 --> 00:13:52,521 Speaker 1: energy naturally, I need something to like give me that. 312 00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:54,801 Speaker 2: You know, isn't that so beautiful when you can lean 313 00:13:54,841 --> 00:13:57,241 Speaker 2: on that seeing yourself like, because it is so I 314 00:13:57,241 --> 00:13:59,321 Speaker 2: feel like a lot of people have that story that 315 00:13:59,361 --> 00:14:02,201 Speaker 2: you need alcohol to have fun or maybe even need 316 00:14:02,281 --> 00:14:06,081 Speaker 2: alcohol to take the edge off, yes, of that anxiety. 317 00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:08,761 Speaker 1: Give liquid courage, yeah, liquid courage you. 318 00:14:08,761 --> 00:14:10,801 Speaker 2: Know, or like they're just to make you feel a 319 00:14:10,801 --> 00:14:12,881 Speaker 2: little bit more comfortable in that environment. Yes, but it's 320 00:14:12,921 --> 00:14:15,721 Speaker 2: like you do overcome that when you are even to 321 00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:18,121 Speaker 2: get clear on what it is that you value and 322 00:14:18,401 --> 00:14:21,601 Speaker 2: asking yourself like does this actually align with what I 323 00:14:21,641 --> 00:14:24,121 Speaker 2: do want for myself and who I believe that I 324 00:14:24,161 --> 00:14:27,201 Speaker 2: am such a huge conversation to have because you know, 325 00:14:27,641 --> 00:14:28,121 Speaker 2: there has. 326 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:31,521 Speaker 1: Been moments where I felt pressure. I'm not sure if 327 00:14:31,561 --> 00:14:35,121 Speaker 1: you have to where you're in environments where everyone's like 328 00:14:35,201 --> 00:14:37,521 Speaker 1: have it drink will. But for me, the easy way 329 00:14:37,561 --> 00:14:38,801 Speaker 1: out of it was I would just get like a 330 00:14:38,801 --> 00:14:40,321 Speaker 1: soda would and put line and it. So they've got 331 00:14:40,361 --> 00:14:42,881 Speaker 1: my drink and I think it's vodcast. It's the easiest 332 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:45,121 Speaker 1: thing out anybody needs to do with shots. Throw it 333 00:14:45,121 --> 00:14:45,761 Speaker 1: over my shoulder. 334 00:14:45,881 --> 00:14:46,241 Speaker 2: Stop. 335 00:14:46,441 --> 00:14:49,121 Speaker 1: I did, because if they're all shotting their bag, they're 336 00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:51,521 Speaker 1: not looking at you. So I'd literally throw the liquid 337 00:14:51,561 --> 00:14:53,401 Speaker 1: over my shoulder and they think about a shot. Smart 338 00:14:53,441 --> 00:14:56,041 Speaker 1: and the pressure's all gone. But now it's not even 339 00:14:56,081 --> 00:14:58,481 Speaker 1: hiding it. It's like I don't drink. Yeah, And if 340 00:14:58,521 --> 00:15:01,641 Speaker 1: they are like, I'm like, I don't drink. Like, why 341 00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:04,481 Speaker 1: is alcohol the one drug we pressure people to have 342 00:15:04,561 --> 00:15:07,441 Speaker 1: and sal right and put people down if they don't 343 00:15:07,481 --> 00:15:10,681 Speaker 1: have it? That is wild to me. It's still a substance. 344 00:15:10,721 --> 00:15:13,161 Speaker 1: It's still a type of a drug. Why is that thing? 345 00:15:13,201 --> 00:15:16,041 Speaker 1: It's just so normalized, and especially in the Australian culture. Yeah, 346 00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:18,321 Speaker 1: I think it's really hard for men. They really connect 347 00:15:18,361 --> 00:15:21,161 Speaker 1: through drinking. It's so common to like get together and 348 00:15:21,201 --> 00:15:23,201 Speaker 1: have beers or whatever. I feel like it's a lot 349 00:15:23,201 --> 00:15:23,801 Speaker 1: harder for men. 350 00:15:23,961 --> 00:15:27,441 Speaker 2: Yeah, the soda water and I used to do that too, Yeah, 351 00:15:27,481 --> 00:15:30,801 Speaker 2: but it was more so when I was on my 352 00:15:31,201 --> 00:15:33,801 Speaker 2: going sober journey. But I still wanted to interact with 353 00:15:33,841 --> 00:15:36,521 Speaker 2: the fun yes, because I still wanted to still be 354 00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:37,241 Speaker 2: out and still be. 355 00:15:37,161 --> 00:15:39,681 Speaker 1: So experience of having a drink is nice, still. 356 00:15:39,441 --> 00:15:42,161 Speaker 2: Do those things, but I wasn't yet ready to be 357 00:15:42,281 --> 00:15:45,881 Speaker 2: faced with the pushback of oh, why aren't you drinking? Yes, 358 00:15:45,961 --> 00:15:47,721 Speaker 2: why aren't you doing it with us? And the peer 359 00:15:47,761 --> 00:15:50,601 Speaker 2: pressure of like, just do it. You're gonna end up 360 00:15:50,721 --> 00:15:52,441 Speaker 2: knowing it anyway, you're gonna be fine, Like you'll be 361 00:15:52,521 --> 00:15:54,801 Speaker 2: drinking in an hour anyway, And I was like, oh, 362 00:15:54,841 --> 00:15:56,801 Speaker 2: maybe in an hour, I might have a drink. So 363 00:15:56,881 --> 00:15:59,321 Speaker 2: I up until the point where I felt so strong 364 00:15:59,321 --> 00:16:01,361 Speaker 2: in that boundary where I was like no, I'm good, 365 00:16:01,401 --> 00:16:03,921 Speaker 2: there's no one who can influence me in this decision. 366 00:16:04,601 --> 00:16:06,721 Speaker 2: Then I was like, yep, nope, now I'm not drinking. Yeah, 367 00:16:06,761 --> 00:16:08,761 Speaker 2: And you know it's funny. Like one of my girlfriends, 368 00:16:08,881 --> 00:16:11,881 Speaker 2: Darcy love her, and we were having a conversation and 369 00:16:12,321 --> 00:16:14,481 Speaker 2: we had like a dinner, and she was like, oh, like, 370 00:16:14,761 --> 00:16:16,681 Speaker 2: are you like not having a drink because she likes 371 00:16:16,681 --> 00:16:19,321 Speaker 2: to have a drink every now and again, And I 372 00:16:19,361 --> 00:16:20,761 Speaker 2: was like, oh no, no, no, like I'm not gonna have 373 00:16:20,801 --> 00:16:22,361 Speaker 2: a drink. She's like, oh, I won't have one with you. 374 00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:24,081 Speaker 2: I don't want to influence you. And I was thinking, 375 00:16:24,321 --> 00:16:26,521 Speaker 2: I literally said to her, baby, you couldn't even influence 376 00:16:26,521 --> 00:16:28,521 Speaker 2: me if you tried, you know, because you do, so 377 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,801 Speaker 2: you do get to such a point within yourself that 378 00:16:30,841 --> 00:16:33,681 Speaker 2: you're like, my value of who I want to be 379 00:16:33,721 --> 00:16:36,721 Speaker 2: and what I choose to myself is more important than 380 00:16:37,361 --> 00:16:39,121 Speaker 2: just having a one off drink for what reason? 381 00:16:39,281 --> 00:16:39,761 Speaker 1: What reason? 382 00:16:39,841 --> 00:16:42,641 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, And coming from somebody who had a serious 383 00:16:42,681 --> 00:16:45,361 Speaker 2: party phase, like that's a huge thing, you know, to 384 00:16:45,401 --> 00:16:48,001 Speaker 2: be able to see the contrast of like, you know, 385 00:16:48,201 --> 00:16:50,521 Speaker 2: that lifestyle in comparison to the lifestyle that I have 386 00:16:50,641 --> 00:16:55,561 Speaker 2: now and valuing and loving wholeheartedly my lifestyle now so 387 00:16:55,641 --> 00:16:58,161 Speaker 2: much more that I don't even think about having a drink. 388 00:16:58,241 --> 00:17:00,201 Speaker 2: Like you've asked me this before, where you've been like 389 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,361 Speaker 2: would you have a drink if we did a girl's 390 00:17:02,401 --> 00:17:04,321 Speaker 2: trip and we went to Bali or whatever? 391 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,561 Speaker 1: And I was like, you know, probably not, yeah, And 392 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,241 Speaker 1: there wasn't from a place of trying to pressure, it 393 00:17:08,281 --> 00:17:10,681 Speaker 1: was just curiosity of like, oh, I wonder on holidays 394 00:17:10,721 --> 00:17:11,681 Speaker 1: do you have a drink? Yeah? 395 00:17:11,721 --> 00:17:12,880 Speaker 2: Like what would your perspective be? 396 00:17:13,041 --> 00:17:14,521 Speaker 1: Yeah, different different environment. 397 00:17:14,681 --> 00:17:17,441 Speaker 2: Yeah, like it was curiosity And I loved that because 398 00:17:17,441 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, you know what, like it probably 399 00:17:19,281 --> 00:17:21,880 Speaker 2: wouldn't mean yeah, I just don't feel pulled to it. 400 00:17:22,001 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, same, so cool. I love it so a 401 00:17:25,241 --> 00:17:27,440 Speaker 1: little while ago, I was really taken back, but like 402 00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:30,321 Speaker 1: in such awe of you for this, because I would 403 00:17:30,321 --> 00:17:34,001 Speaker 1: have been scared to be this bold as you saying 404 00:17:34,001 --> 00:17:36,481 Speaker 1: to me like, I won't date someone if they drink 405 00:17:36,521 --> 00:17:39,001 Speaker 1: alcohol because you were recently single. I was like, what 406 00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 1: kind of man would you go for? 407 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:40,160 Speaker 2: Like? 408 00:17:40,441 --> 00:17:41,481 Speaker 1: And I think I said to you, what are you 409 00:17:41,481 --> 00:17:43,200 Speaker 1: going to do if they are a drinker? And you're like, oh, 410 00:17:43,241 --> 00:17:44,880 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't date people that drink. And 411 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,761 Speaker 1: I was like, what do you mean? So if he 412 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,360 Speaker 1: takes all the boxes but he enjoys the drink, you 413 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,920 Speaker 1: won't date him? And you're like, no, because it's not 414 00:17:50,961 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: what I want. And just how like confident you were 415 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:56,041 Speaker 1: on that. I was like wow, And I think it 416 00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,521 Speaker 1: was a bit triggering for me because that's what I 417 00:17:57,521 --> 00:18:00,321 Speaker 1: would really want. And I'm so glad Steve didn't drink 418 00:18:00,321 --> 00:18:03,161 Speaker 1: anymore because any arguments we have had over the years 419 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,401 Speaker 1: has probably been around alcohol, and because of my childhood 420 00:18:06,441 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 1: trauma and everything, it just never bit in with our 421 00:18:08,761 --> 00:18:11,600 Speaker 1: relationship and it's been so beautiful. He's not drinking now, 422 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,801 Speaker 1: so I think I was like, WHOA, that's cool that 423 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:15,041 Speaker 1: you get to decide that. 424 00:18:15,321 --> 00:18:16,521 Speaker 2: Yeah, so how did you. 425 00:18:16,441 --> 00:18:19,041 Speaker 1: Come to that decision? And have you met an amazing 426 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,361 Speaker 1: guy and he drinks and you're like. 427 00:18:20,321 --> 00:18:24,080 Speaker 2: See, yeah, yeah, it's interesting. So because of my past 428 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,881 Speaker 2: relationship with alcohol, I know what it's like when you're 429 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 2: on it. I know what your thoughts are, like, I 430 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,801 Speaker 2: know where your head's at. I understand what it feels 431 00:18:31,801 --> 00:18:34,041 Speaker 2: like to be in that like murky energy of drinking 432 00:18:34,041 --> 00:18:36,920 Speaker 2: alcohol you don't think clearly. I know what it feels 433 00:18:36,921 --> 00:18:38,921 Speaker 2: like to be in that position. So when I meet 434 00:18:38,961 --> 00:18:42,281 Speaker 2: somebody now that is in a position where they're still 435 00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:44,721 Speaker 2: doing those things, it allows me to see where they're 436 00:18:44,721 --> 00:18:47,801 Speaker 2: at mentally, and it's not judgment or anything like that. 437 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,200 Speaker 2: For me, I need my partner to be somebody who 438 00:18:50,281 --> 00:18:53,400 Speaker 2: can influence me and in a really positive way and 439 00:18:53,481 --> 00:18:55,360 Speaker 2: help me get closer to the person I want to be, 440 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,001 Speaker 2: not further away. And so the way that I kind 441 00:18:58,001 --> 00:19:00,761 Speaker 2: of interpret that in my head is like, Okay, somebody 442 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,360 Speaker 2: who would be drinking, going out all the time, enjoying, 443 00:19:03,521 --> 00:19:06,081 Speaker 2: like really loves looking forward to those things. In my head, 444 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,121 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm going backwards. I feel like that's 445 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,160 Speaker 2: taking me closer to eighteen year old Tiana who love 446 00:19:10,201 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 2: to drink, as opposed to you know, future thirty year 447 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,161 Speaker 2: old Tiana, who wants to create amazing things for her life, 448 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,481 Speaker 2: you know. And so for me it feels a little 449 00:19:18,481 --> 00:19:21,321 Speaker 2: bit like an ick, you know where it's like. And again, 450 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,281 Speaker 2: no judgment on anybody who chooses to drink, but for me, 451 00:19:24,441 --> 00:19:28,201 Speaker 2: specifically with an intimate partner, I just want that man 452 00:19:28,281 --> 00:19:31,561 Speaker 2: to be so straight and has self control and is 453 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:35,360 Speaker 2: disciplined and isn't influenced or tempted by those things. And 454 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,081 Speaker 2: for me, that's a fucking man. 455 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,161 Speaker 1: And shares the same value of health, which our cult 456 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:39,801 Speaker 1: doesn't really fit in. 457 00:19:39,801 --> 00:19:42,160 Speaker 2: My life value of health. I want them to value 458 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 2: their health, like I talk to you about this all 459 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,880 Speaker 2: the time, you know, And so I just would love 460 00:19:46,921 --> 00:19:48,680 Speaker 2: to have somebody who has the same values of me 461 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:53,321 Speaker 2: and to not bring things into my life to influence 462 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,440 Speaker 2: me in a negative way. I'm very protective of my 463 00:19:56,561 --> 00:20:00,001 Speaker 2: space and my environment, and I'm just really mindful of 464 00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:01,201 Speaker 2: those things. So cool. 465 00:20:01,281 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awesome. And you get to decide what you 466 00:20:03,561 --> 00:20:05,561 Speaker 1: do and don't want also. 467 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,681 Speaker 2: And that's the thing, permission to just be like, that's 468 00:20:07,721 --> 00:20:11,001 Speaker 2: a non negotial. For example, I'm seeing somebody. We had 469 00:20:11,041 --> 00:20:13,841 Speaker 2: a conversation the other day randomly about I don't even 470 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,321 Speaker 2: know how he got onto the topic of cigarettes, and 471 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,441 Speaker 2: I was like, that's a non negotibal for me straight too, 472 00:20:18,961 --> 00:20:20,561 Speaker 2: and he was just like, oh wow, really, like because 473 00:20:20,561 --> 00:20:22,400 Speaker 2: he didn't know, we hadn't had this conversation, not that 474 00:20:22,441 --> 00:20:25,001 Speaker 2: he smokes or anything. Yeah, but he's had like a 475 00:20:25,041 --> 00:20:27,321 Speaker 2: party past as well, so he also understands. 476 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: Yeah. 477 00:20:27,921 --> 00:20:30,721 Speaker 2: He was like, oh wow really And I was like absolutely, yeah, 478 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,440 Speaker 2: non negotiable for me, done full stop, Like there's no 479 00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:36,360 Speaker 2: conversation about it. I get to want those things, you know. 480 00:20:36,561 --> 00:20:39,321 Speaker 2: It's a standard I hold for myself, and I very 481 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,521 Speaker 2: much often hold the people in my life to the 482 00:20:41,561 --> 00:20:43,281 Speaker 2: same standard that I for myself. 483 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,680 Speaker 1: We both went to an event recently and was like, 484 00:20:46,681 --> 00:20:48,280 Speaker 1: what do you do it? I think he asked us 485 00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:50,761 Speaker 1: on a Friday. You were like, what are you doing tonight? 486 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:52,440 Speaker 1: It's like nothing? You like you want to come to 487 00:20:52,481 --> 00:20:55,801 Speaker 1: this you restaurant opening restaurant. I was like, restaurant, Yes, 488 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,640 Speaker 1: it's scene on the highway. It's like, oh one of 489 00:20:57,681 --> 00:21:00,680 Speaker 1: it's like Asian cuisine, and I was like, yes, hungry, Like, 490 00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,561 Speaker 1: let's do it. We invited Meg and then we walked 491 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,680 Speaker 1: up the stairs and I can hear music palmping, and 492 00:21:06,721 --> 00:21:09,240 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, walk up there and it's just 493 00:21:09,281 --> 00:21:13,200 Speaker 1: like a full blown bar party scene. Every man and 494 00:21:13,201 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 1: his dog was there. It was dressed to impress, and 495 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,521 Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that, but it's just like we thought 496 00:21:17,561 --> 00:21:19,321 Speaker 1: we're gonna have a nice, quite sit down and yeah, 497 00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 1: why the new menu, And like I think we felt 498 00:21:21,721 --> 00:21:24,361 Speaker 1: so not out of place, but we didn't even hear you. 499 00:21:24,521 --> 00:21:25,360 Speaker 2: We felt out of place. 500 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,321 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I was like, I actually can't fucking hear you, 501 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:32,120 Speaker 1: so don't bother talking to me each other literally and 502 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 1: then like color people come up and said hello, but 503 00:21:34,201 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 1: I was like, I can't hear you. So we're calling 504 00:21:36,761 --> 00:21:38,600 Speaker 1: up all these different restaurants set where we can get in. 505 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,160 Speaker 1: Everywhere's booked own. I'm like I'm hungry, ah, But it 506 00:21:41,201 --> 00:21:43,481 Speaker 1: was just interesting to be put back in that environment 507 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:48,321 Speaker 1: of party and drinking and like socializing and small chit chat, 508 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,120 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I knew I didn't like this, 509 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:52,361 Speaker 1: but I really don't like this. 510 00:21:52,441 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 2: I think it was a good piece of evidence for 511 00:21:54,761 --> 00:21:57,400 Speaker 2: us to kind of back into that environment, to just 512 00:21:57,441 --> 00:22:00,081 Speaker 2: see how we feel in that space. I did really 513 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:00,961 Speaker 2: feel out of place. 514 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, and also. 515 00:22:01,961 --> 00:22:04,241 Speaker 2: Because we went into it with the expectation that it's 516 00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:06,801 Speaker 2: going to be a restaurant, you know, and I think 517 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,400 Speaker 2: probably if we had known that it was a bar, 518 00:22:08,481 --> 00:22:11,160 Speaker 2: we probably wouldn't have gone the bar opening. We were 519 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,680 Speaker 2: like sardines in there, like everyone was like so there 520 00:22:14,681 --> 00:22:16,441 Speaker 2: were glasses being broken accidentally. 521 00:22:16,801 --> 00:22:18,041 Speaker 1: Yes, there was a mess. 522 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:21,120 Speaker 2: Like you know, it was a really beautiful place, but 523 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,881 Speaker 2: it's just different. It's to be in that environment. 524 00:22:24,041 --> 00:22:26,160 Speaker 1: And I love getting dressed off and getting ready to 525 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,801 Speaker 1: do makeup and taking photos and like going places, but 526 00:22:28,921 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 1: just not the party vibe. 527 00:22:30,441 --> 00:22:33,361 Speaker 2: What was Stephanie thinking when we first went into the bar. 528 00:22:34,281 --> 00:22:37,481 Speaker 2: I don't know if Stephanie was there, No, was Tatiana there? 529 00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 2: What should mean a bit judging a little bit? 530 00:22:40,201 --> 00:22:42,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean Stephanie was because I just said that, 531 00:22:42,201 --> 00:22:43,360 Speaker 1: so I must have been doing the same. 532 00:22:43,441 --> 00:22:45,881 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think I was a little bit like I'm 533 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:46,760 Speaker 2: above this stuff. 534 00:22:47,041 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: You are in a different vibration to them. You are 535 00:22:49,281 --> 00:22:51,360 Speaker 1: on a different level to people that are drinking. Yeah, 536 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,041 Speaker 1: and that's the hobby. Like it's different. 537 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,801 Speaker 2: And not that I thought I was better than anyone 538 00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:57,600 Speaker 2: any means, but more so like I'm above this behavior. 539 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:58,880 Speaker 2: I don't resonate here. 540 00:22:58,801 --> 00:23:00,160 Speaker 1: Anything conscious when you're drinking. 541 00:23:00,241 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, like I don't resonate here anymore. Not 542 00:23:03,281 --> 00:23:05,680 Speaker 2: to say that people can't go and have fun. Everyone 543 00:23:05,721 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 2: does it in their own way. But for me, what 544 00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:11,201 Speaker 2: I used to do to who I am now very young. 545 00:23:11,241 --> 00:23:12,640 Speaker 1: Well, like you said, it kind of takes you back 546 00:23:12,681 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 1: to eighteen year old Tiana, and you're twenty six year 547 00:23:14,521 --> 00:23:17,160 Speaker 1: old Tiana, who's like galling different things now. So it 548 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:20,201 Speaker 1: does feel like you're above and past that stage of life. 549 00:23:20,801 --> 00:23:22,961 Speaker 1: I can't think of a specific judgment, but I'm sure it. 550 00:23:23,041 --> 00:23:25,360 Speaker 1: Stephanie had moments of just like it. I didn't like 551 00:23:25,441 --> 00:23:28,721 Speaker 1: being in that environment, yeah, and I remember not wanting 552 00:23:28,761 --> 00:23:30,481 Speaker 1: to pressure you girls to leave, but I was also 553 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,841 Speaker 1: just like, it's not for me. One thing I am 554 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 1: open to, which we briefly spoke about in the last podcast, 555 00:23:36,721 --> 00:23:39,440 Speaker 1: is mushrooms, though, which I know you've done plenty of 556 00:23:39,521 --> 00:23:42,840 Speaker 1: times and had such beautiful experiences and learnings and downloads 557 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 1: and done heaps of shadow work. I'm so excited to 558 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:49,600 Speaker 1: experience that. But it comes from a different intention. Like 559 00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:51,761 Speaker 1: when we do mushrooms, it's like we want to get 560 00:23:51,761 --> 00:23:54,521 Speaker 1: to the deepest, darkest wounds. I want to find out 561 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,761 Speaker 1: why I'm doing XYZ and like how to move through 562 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 1: this guilt and shame and like bring it all up 563 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,241 Speaker 1: because the mushrooms take away the ego, takeaway the inner critic. 564 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:06,321 Speaker 1: I'm so excited to experience that serience that in Ayahuascar, 565 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,080 Speaker 1: which once again it's like it's a different intention. Yeah, 566 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,200 Speaker 1: there's such a different energy in feeling behind plant based 567 00:24:12,321 --> 00:24:17,441 Speaker 1: medicines compared to party drugs, now cold intentions everything. 568 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:21,761 Speaker 2: Yeah, even you're doing Ayahuascar, Like that's such a holistic journey. 569 00:24:22,441 --> 00:24:26,321 Speaker 2: Everybody healing different perspective. But you go into the intention 570 00:24:26,441 --> 00:24:28,801 Speaker 2: to clear out whatever it is it's blocking you, Yeah, 571 00:24:29,241 --> 00:24:30,640 Speaker 2: or understand yourself, to. 572 00:24:30,721 --> 00:24:31,801 Speaker 1: Understand yourself deeper. 573 00:24:32,001 --> 00:24:35,521 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, that's a through trauma release. Same thing with 574 00:24:35,721 --> 00:24:38,840 Speaker 2: like mushrooms. That's the previous experiences I've had has been 575 00:24:39,241 --> 00:24:41,161 Speaker 2: how can I connect with myself in ways I don't 576 00:24:41,201 --> 00:24:44,561 Speaker 2: yet know how what can I release, what can I 577 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 2: heal through? How can I create deeper connection with the 578 00:24:48,201 --> 00:24:51,321 Speaker 2: people that I love and create like an even deeper 579 00:24:52,041 --> 00:24:56,160 Speaker 2: space of safety and certainty and connection without any ego. 580 00:24:56,241 --> 00:24:58,600 Speaker 1: That excites me. Yeah, it still scares me though, because 581 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,721 Speaker 1: I don't like being out of control. It's a big 582 00:25:01,721 --> 00:25:03,761 Speaker 1: reason why I don't drink as well, because I don't 583 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,041 Speaker 1: like to not being con of what I'm saying and 584 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,400 Speaker 1: how I'm reacting and what I'm doing. Like that feels 585 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 1: icky for me. So I'm scared of it. But I 586 00:25:10,481 --> 00:25:12,920 Speaker 1: think because it's me and you and we've planned out 587 00:25:12,921 --> 00:25:14,480 Speaker 1: where it's going to be and how it's going to be, 588 00:25:14,521 --> 00:25:17,041 Speaker 1: I feel so safe. And I did ih ooscar with Steve, 589 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:18,880 Speaker 1: so I just felt so safe with he might just 590 00:25:18,921 --> 00:25:19,761 Speaker 1: feel safe with anything. 591 00:25:19,961 --> 00:25:22,921 Speaker 2: So fine. Yeah, it's like it doesn't feel at least 592 00:25:22,921 --> 00:25:25,241 Speaker 2: in my personal experience, it doesn't feel like you're out 593 00:25:25,281 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 2: of control. It just feels like you have this heightened 594 00:25:28,041 --> 00:25:30,761 Speaker 2: sense of awareness and you can see everything from like 595 00:25:30,801 --> 00:25:35,241 Speaker 2: a higher perspective. So and when you are sharing things, 596 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:36,761 Speaker 2: and like say, if we sit down and we ask 597 00:25:36,801 --> 00:25:40,681 Speaker 2: each other questions, when you are answering those questions, it's 598 00:25:40,721 --> 00:25:44,360 Speaker 2: like your shield for self protection just goes away. You 599 00:25:44,441 --> 00:25:46,920 Speaker 2: just like blurt out all this stuff, but just you 600 00:25:46,961 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 2: just don't care because you're not scared of judgment and 601 00:25:49,241 --> 00:25:52,241 Speaker 2: you're not terrified or fearful of saying what feels true 602 00:25:52,281 --> 00:25:55,360 Speaker 2: for you. You're just like, this is my truth. And then 603 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:59,440 Speaker 2: you're like, holy fuck, did I just say that? But 604 00:25:59,481 --> 00:26:01,561 Speaker 2: then it's like I know these people have got me. 605 00:26:01,801 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so safe. 606 00:26:02,921 --> 00:26:06,561 Speaker 2: We're so fine, like wait to get it. Yeah, so fun, Yeah, 607 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:07,201 Speaker 2: so fun. 608 00:26:08,321 --> 00:26:10,321 Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us, guys. I hope you enjoyed our 609 00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:14,160 Speaker 1: perspective on alcohol and yeah, I suppose a good opportunity 610 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,520 Speaker 1: for you to kind of do an audit on your 611 00:26:15,561 --> 00:26:18,281 Speaker 1: life and reflect on what you value and doesn't fit 612 00:26:18,321 --> 00:26:21,160 Speaker 1: in with that yeah and maybe it doesn't. Yeah, And 613 00:26:21,201 --> 00:26:22,961 Speaker 1: how to change your mind and do things differently. 614 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:26,200 Speaker 2: Yeah what you just said as well. I remember thinking 615 00:26:26,201 --> 00:26:29,680 Speaker 2: to myself and just changing completely one day and leaving 616 00:26:29,681 --> 00:26:31,440 Speaker 2: everything that I used to do behind. It was like, 617 00:26:31,521 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 2: from this day forward, I choose to be this version 618 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,801 Speaker 2: of myself. And I just want to remind you, like, 619 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:39,080 Speaker 2: you don't owe it to anybody to stay the exact 620 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,321 Speaker 2: same version of yourself that you used to be. Like, 621 00:26:41,441 --> 00:26:44,721 Speaker 2: give yourself permission to completely uproot your life if that's 622 00:26:44,761 --> 00:26:47,081 Speaker 2: what you choose and that's what you want and you're 623 00:26:47,201 --> 00:26:50,360 Speaker 2: terrified of doing that, give yourself permission that it's actually okay. 624 00:26:50,681 --> 00:26:53,120 Speaker 1: Yes, And you know, along the way, I feel like 625 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,761 Speaker 1: when you change and evolve, you may lose some friends 626 00:26:55,801 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 1: because maybe they're still wanting to party. You don't align 627 00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,521 Speaker 1: anymore and you don't have the common ground and you're 628 00:26:59,521 --> 00:27:02,481 Speaker 1: doing different activities on the weekend. Like that might happen, 629 00:27:02,521 --> 00:27:05,241 Speaker 1: and that transition could be really hard, but you will 630 00:27:05,241 --> 00:27:08,561 Speaker 1: also attract and bring in new people. Yeah, that be 631 00:27:08,561 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 1: going to meet you where you're at right now, and 632 00:27:10,321 --> 00:27:13,160 Speaker 1: you've got the common ground of like values that you 633 00:27:13,241 --> 00:27:16,360 Speaker 1: share and different experiences you want to have together. So 634 00:27:16,721 --> 00:27:19,440 Speaker 1: it can be scary and daunting, which is really really valid. 635 00:27:19,481 --> 00:27:21,840 Speaker 1: But also just be really open and excited for what's 636 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:23,400 Speaker 1: to come and pose to come in your life that 637 00:27:23,561 --> 00:27:24,400 Speaker 1: commute you there. 638 00:27:24,321 --> 00:27:25,961 Speaker 2: Yeah, hold out for those people as well. 639 00:27:26,041 --> 00:27:27,201 Speaker 1: Yeah, just be there. 640 00:27:27,481 --> 00:27:28,920 Speaker 2: Be mindful of the part of you that wants to 641 00:27:28,961 --> 00:27:31,120 Speaker 2: go back into old environments as well to be like, 642 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,440 Speaker 2: oh but I feel safe, say I feel lonely and 643 00:27:33,441 --> 00:27:35,400 Speaker 2: I won't to go back there, or maybe I'm scared 644 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 2: of if it's not going to come for me. I 645 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:39,721 Speaker 2: promise you it will come, and in the meantime come 646 00:27:39,761 --> 00:27:43,121 Speaker 2: to our own person events. Yes, like yeah, you will 647 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:45,521 Speaker 2: get all the connection and meet the same like minded 648 00:27:45,561 --> 00:27:47,840 Speaker 2: people that are on the same journey as you. Have 649 00:27:47,921 --> 00:27:51,480 Speaker 2: the same mindset, values and everything that you are about. 650 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:53,801 Speaker 2: I promise you if you get yourself in those rooms. 651 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 1: We'll show you a good time without alcohol. Yeah. Yeah, 652 00:27:56,521 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 1: you'll see Ashley and and Stephanie and who all of 653 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,681 Speaker 1: the vibe for the party. Yeah, we love it. Oh, 654 00:28:04,761 --> 00:28:06,200 Speaker 1: thanks joining us, guys, and we'll see you in the 655 00:28:06,241 --> 00:28:15,121 Speaker 1: next episode. Bye mm hmm.