1 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,639 Speaker 1: Everyone, it's Carli Taylor here for this week's Mojo Monday. 2 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 1: So if you want to be free of anxiety and 3 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 1: fear and negative self talk, you know, all those emotions 4 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: and thoughts that we spend so much energy trying to 5 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:28,680 Speaker 1: get rid of, then really, when you think about it, 6 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: nothing in your life would matter because the flip side 7 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:36,480 Speaker 1: of it, if you want to make those uncomfortable emotions 8 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: and uncomfortable thoughts disappear, you also have to take away 9 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 1: the joy, the love, the excitement, the happy thoughts. Life 10 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: would become this shade of gray and you would feel numb. 11 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: It would really be like riding a rollercoaster with no emotion. 12 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: So the people around you are screaming with fear or 13 00:00:56,080 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: screaming with excitement, but you you would feel nothing. You 14 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: just sit there with his blank look on your face. 15 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: And that's not living fully. We can't live a life 16 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: free of emotion, and this is what seems to be 17 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: the struggle. Our humanness means we feel, and to feel 18 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: is both amazing and it's also really painful. And emotions 19 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: rise and fall, light waves, they come, they go up 20 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: and up and up, they peak, and then they subside. 21 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: Even an anxiety attack. For an examples like a huge wave. 22 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: So it builds and builds and builds, and on average 23 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:39,679 Speaker 1: it takes around ten minutes, sometimes longer before it begins 24 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,400 Speaker 1: to ease, but it never sticks around forever, and as 25 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: unbearable as it can feel at the time, it will 26 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: never keep climbing. In fact, the more we try and 27 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: fix it, or fight with it or get rid of it, 28 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 1: the bigger the wave can feel. There's a culture that 29 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 1: we've developed in the West, and there's very blurred line 30 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 1: between what's a normal human response to life's events, to 31 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: life's circumstances, and what's actually a disorder. And we are 32 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:14,679 Speaker 1: offered endless parts that promise relief, but those pasts don't 33 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: necessarily lead to a happy or meaningful life. So here's 34 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:24,920 Speaker 1: a reframe. So let's take fear, for example, and this 35 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:29,919 Speaker 1: could be anxiety, sadness, anything, any emotion, any uncomfortable emotion 36 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: that shows up. Ask yourself, what does this say about 37 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: what I truly care about? So if you fear being alone, 38 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: if you fear being lonely, maybe it's because you deeply 39 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 1: value love, friendship, and connection. If you feel fear of 40 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 1: failing an exam, a job, interview or a project. Maybe 41 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: it's because you value achievement, or you value doing meaningful 42 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: work on making a contribution, or maybe it could be 43 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: around identity and integrity. So fear isn't something to get 44 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,360 Speaker 1: rid of in these cases, and it's not an emotion 45 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: we always recognize right away. So often it shows up 46 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: as anger, frustration, or even avoidance. But underneath fear is 47 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: a compass pointing towards what matters most. So it's not 48 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: a stop sign. Maybe it's more like a giveaway sign, 49 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: a signal to pause, to slow down, to notice, and 50 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: to ask yourself, what is this pointing me towards? Because 51 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: without that compass, we can lose our way and end 52 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 1: up in even more pain and an avoidance and in inaction, 53 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: and that doesn't lead anywhere. We need to steer us 54 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: back to what gives our lives meaning and purpose. And 55 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: this isn't an ability that some people have and some 56 00:03:55,560 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: others don't. And it's not about making excuses for yourself. 57 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 1: It's like, you know, well, that's just me and that's 58 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:05,119 Speaker 1: just how I roll. It's a skill that we can 59 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: all practice, even the most sensitive among us, and I 60 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: put myself in that category. We can learn to pause 61 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,679 Speaker 1: when fear shows up, to take a breath, to notice 62 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: it with curiosity, step back from it and ask, well, 63 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 1: actually not ask oh my god, how do I get 64 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: rid of this? But what is this showing me that 65 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 1: I care about? And how do I need to show 66 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 1: up right now? The more we practice, the easier it 67 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: becomes to balance that discomfort of fear or whatever uncomfortable 68 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: emotions showing up with clarity of what it's protecting us from. 69 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: So to feel fear is to care. To be anxious 70 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: is to care. To love is to fear rejection. To 71 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 1: have goals is to fear of failure. To care for 72 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: families to feel this fear for their well being. To 73 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: lead is to feel fear of letting others down. To 74 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,279 Speaker 1: show up fully is to feel fear of being judge. 75 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 1: So you kind of getting the picture here. There's these 76 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: two sides of the coin. And we often talk about balance, 77 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:22,040 Speaker 1: especially work life balance, But what if we started talking 78 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: about emotional balance, and that means learning to hold both 79 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: sides of these coin of this coin, the discomfort of 80 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: fear and the values that it actually reveals, because it 81 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,599 Speaker 1: reveals so much about you that you may not be 82 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 1: seeing yourself, Because when we balance the pain with purpose, 83 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: that means that we can free ourselves to use our 84 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,760 Speaker 1: precious time wisely. We can show up not just despite 85 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: the emotions, but alongside them, living more fully human and 86 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: being more fully ourselves. So this week, I invite you 87 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: to notice when fearsh up or anxiety or sadness or 88 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 1: whatever emotion is, that's that's super uncomfortable for you. And 89 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: rather than panicking and asking how do I get rid 90 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 1: of this? Try asking what does this tell me that 91 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: I care about? So I hope you found that valuable, 92 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: and I hope you all have a great week, and 93 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 1: I will catch you next Monday. See ya.