WEBVTT - Phantom shi*ers!

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<v Speaker 1>Apo Shape Production.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to another episode and am I Dad Mom podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>We're on Instagram as well at am I A Bad Mum?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, some good memes we get sent on.

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<v Speaker 3>The very good memes and some very just hilarious responses.

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<v Speaker 3>Like I was saying to the other day, one of

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<v Speaker 3>the responses that came through to something that I put

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<v Speaker 3>on social was about my child kicking the hole in

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<v Speaker 3>the wall.

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<v Speaker 4>Was just like, don't worry, We're all in the same boat.

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<v Speaker 3>My son put his head through a wall when he

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<v Speaker 3>was having sex with his girlfriend in her house in

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<v Speaker 3>the family home, and I was just like, oh, it

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<v Speaker 3>sent me for six.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, did you tell her that?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't even try to make any no, no, no.

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<v Speaker 3>No, it was just straight up that's how we were

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<v Speaker 3>having sex. I put my head through the wall. I'd

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<v Speaker 3>have to say that I've never put my head through

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<v Speaker 3>any wall, so I'm not sure what they were doing,

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<v Speaker 3>but it sent me for a six. But it also

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<v Speaker 3>then provides that little piece of like our am I

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<v Speaker 3>A Bad Mum community all just like dancing together to

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<v Speaker 3>go don't worry, it's happening to all of us.

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<v Speaker 1>We're all in it. We're all on the same boat.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, my kid was just doing flips on a mattress.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a lot more wholesome.

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<v Speaker 3>Am I a bad mum for clearly not knowing I

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<v Speaker 3>looked after my nephew Leo, he's three and a half. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>And when I say looked after, it was basically that

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<v Speaker 3>Jay wanted to be my brother outside doing yard stuff

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<v Speaker 3>with Sam and so then he leaves Leo inside with me. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>totally fine, because I never get like the little boy

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<v Speaker 3>time kind of. So we just like we hang out,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, we get the cars out, we play cars

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<v Speaker 3>back and forth for hours, We ride the motorbike, we

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<v Speaker 3>do all that stuff, right, yep. And it's such a

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<v Speaker 3>good day. Now he is in the transition period of

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<v Speaker 3>toilet training.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, that part for me, I go, oh no.

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<v Speaker 4>I used to just cry.

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<v Speaker 2>Like Jay would call me from work some days and

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<v Speaker 2>I'd be like, I've just spent the whole day clearing.

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<v Speaker 1>Up wei and poo. Yeah, it's tough.

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<v Speaker 2>And then it got to the point where the girls

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<v Speaker 2>would at night you know how you do that, Like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we would go to bed, pick them up, put them

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<v Speaker 2>on the toilet.

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<v Speaker 1>They'd go for a week put them back.

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<v Speaker 2>But then what I got really annoyed at is then

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<v Speaker 2>the going back to them needing a wei in the

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<v Speaker 2>night and then waking you up.

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<v Speaker 1>So I ended up putting nappies.

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, this is probably where my part with

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<v Speaker 3>Leo comes from, is that I'm not saying I got lucky,

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<v Speaker 3>but I put the hard yards in real like straight away.

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, I'm not buying uppies for daytime. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>not fucking wasting my money for night time. It's just

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<v Speaker 3>got to happen, like it's just gotta So I tried

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<v Speaker 3>everything Katie and and for me, I just got lucky

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<v Speaker 3>and it worked right. My girls did the dream we

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<v Speaker 3>at ten o'clock and then their bladders must be really

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<v Speaker 3>good because then they just until the morning. And it

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<v Speaker 3>was just it was one of those things. Got lucky

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<v Speaker 3>and they say girls and boys different. Yeah, right, Leo's

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<v Speaker 3>hanging out with me for the day. Everything's fine, mate,

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<v Speaker 3>You got jocks on, Yes, I've got jocks on your

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<v Speaker 3>h okay, great?

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<v Speaker 4>Remember if you needed.

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<v Speaker 3>To go to the toilet, like I can't tell you

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<v Speaker 3>how many times I said it, If you need to

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<v Speaker 3>get the toilet, tell me tell any h I'll help you.

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<v Speaker 1>He goes yep, yep, yep.

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<v Speaker 3>Anyway, and then I lost track of where he was

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<v Speaker 3>for three seconds and he is in the bathroom, and

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<v Speaker 3>I in my head go to like worst case scenario.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm thinking shit on the wall because he closed the door. No,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't need your help. And I was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 3>yes you do, and like open the door, porkid and

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<v Speaker 3>then opened the door and he was like he just

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<v Speaker 3>did a We now at our house, we don't have steps,

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<v Speaker 3>we don't have the small seat, we don't have like

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<v Speaker 3>any of that stuff anymore. Yeah, And so I was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 3>oh wow. I was like, good boy, Leo, this is

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<v Speaker 3>so good.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 3>Not only did you remember and get the cue, you

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<v Speaker 3>went to the toilet because I could see go on

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<v Speaker 3>the toilet.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm so excited.

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<v Speaker 1>It's giving full sense of security vibe.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh fuck.

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<v Speaker 3>And anyway, day proceeds and everything was going swimmingly.

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<v Speaker 4>We'd had lunch. You know, when you start thinking about.

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<v Speaker 3>Their little you go like, there's a fair bit of

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<v Speaker 3>food stacking up now. So anyway, Jay comes inside. Leo

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<v Speaker 3>obviously just feels comfortable because Dad's here. All of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 3>the little phantom. He just goes missing and then shits

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<v Speaker 3>in his underwear.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why they do that.

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<v Speaker 3>This was after I'd also just praised him to the

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<v Speaker 3>nth degree in front of him to his dad to go.

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<v Speaker 4>LEO, tell dad what you did. Like he went off

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<v Speaker 4>and he went to the bathroom.

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<v Speaker 3>But yourself, you were so good, And he was like,

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<v Speaker 3>I so good, Like he's so cute.

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<v Speaker 2>I definitely had that too. It was like wee's were

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<v Speaker 2>quite easy, but then poos.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like for ages. It was doing it then and

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<v Speaker 1>going off into corners.

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<v Speaker 4>Just disappeared. But I'm not even joking, just disappear.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you think it might be like traumatic for them

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<v Speaker 2>to sit on a toilet and that to happen. Do

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<v Speaker 2>you think it's easier for them to just be in

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<v Speaker 2>their clothes?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, nice?

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<v Speaker 2>Warm?

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<v Speaker 1>No one knows about it.

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<v Speaker 3>I have no idea. I think he hasn't quite nailed

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<v Speaker 3>the timing.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but even this is going to be a weird analogy.

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<v Speaker 1>But our cat.

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<v Speaker 2>When he goes onto the lither tray, he looks like

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<v Speaker 2>he's ashamed because I don't want to be watched.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I know, but isn't that funny?

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<v Speaker 2>Like maybe there's some kind of like correlation here because

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<v Speaker 2>the cat's obviously embarrassed. He looks embarrassed. Don't watch me,

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<v Speaker 2>watch me, So maybe it's that I know.

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<v Speaker 3>But then we fast forward and this is where I'm

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<v Speaker 3>going to try and wrap it up for you, Katie,

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<v Speaker 3>is I'm proceeding to walk my dog, which is where

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<v Speaker 3>the other role of being a mum is like technically

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<v Speaker 3>a mum to Rocco, and I'm walking the dogs, so buster.

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<v Speaker 1>Usually pull yourself mom to your dogs.

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<v Speaker 4>You know, I'm a mom to the dogs because I'll

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<v Speaker 4>look after them.

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<v Speaker 3>I still feed the fuckers the same as my kids,

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<v Speaker 3>and I walk them every day.

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<v Speaker 2>But do you say to the dogs like no, over,

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<v Speaker 2>absolutely not.

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<v Speaker 3>I do not refer to my dogs as a mum

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<v Speaker 3>and dog relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, mum and the suns.

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<v Speaker 4>Anyway, it's just wrong. But here's part of our family.

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<v Speaker 3>And so I'm walking him and I'm no where to

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<v Speaker 3>a lie oblivious because he is the dog that I

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<v Speaker 3>can literally have tucked into my shorts the lead and

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<v Speaker 3>he won't go anywhere. He's just so blase a And

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<v Speaker 3>then he I'm walking the dogs and everything's fun, and

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<v Speaker 3>there this Ladys with me from behind. He goes, excuse me,

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<v Speaker 3>and I turned around. I was like, yes, she's your

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<v Speaker 3>dog is peeling on the footpath and I was like, thinking,

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<v Speaker 3>how I haven't even stopped. I'll be walking and I

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<v Speaker 3>turn around.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like really, and she was like yeah, I

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<v Speaker 4>just watched him, and I was like in my head,

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, you're lucky. I'm not going to throw

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<v Speaker 4>it at you. She's like, you better pick it up.

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<v Speaker 3>Rocko, the phantom shitter has been shitting as we're walking.

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<v Speaker 1>That would be so hard to do. I don't understand

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<v Speaker 1>how he does.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not even joking Katie, like I didn't feel you know,

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<v Speaker 3>you feel them stop if he's trying to like squat

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<v Speaker 3>and dosh. So he's just been dropping nuggets all the

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<v Speaker 3>way along this path. A lady is yelling at me

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<v Speaker 3>it's six am, and I'm like, it's my responsibility.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm gonna turn around and pick this up.

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<v Speaker 3>Honestly, phantom shitters at the moment and just hanging out

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<v Speaker 3>with me, I'm not keen with it. I don't want

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<v Speaker 3>to pick up on my three and a half year

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<v Speaker 3>old nephew's shits in his pants. I don't want to

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<v Speaker 3>pick up my dog shit, which I do because people

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<v Speaker 3>are so abusive.

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<v Speaker 4>What is going on?

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<v Speaker 1>Honestly, I don't know how he's just shits as you walk.

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<v Speaker 4>I've been in the situation where it's weird.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know if it's a poodle thing, but he's

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<v Speaker 3>like only on concrete kind of vibe.

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<v Speaker 4>Anyway, I was.

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<v Speaker 3>Walking across the pedestrian crossing, so cars stopped and I'm walking,

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<v Speaker 3>and I'm you know, I get like fussy, like oh

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<v Speaker 3>thank you, no thanks, thanks for stopping.

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<v Speaker 4>And then I'm like going, what the fuck?

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<v Speaker 3>And I turn around and I'm like literally skull dragging

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<v Speaker 3>my dog while he's trying to take your ship on

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<v Speaker 3>the pedestrian crossing. I was like, keep moving, these poor

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<v Speaker 3>dogs getting dragged by its head, and everyone's.

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<v Speaker 1>Watching you in their cars.

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<v Speaker 3>They like probably more feeling sorry for the dog as

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<v Speaker 3>I'm skull dragging and across the pedestrian crossing glasses trying

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<v Speaker 3>to take like one.

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<v Speaker 2>Of those situations where your kid is pushing over other

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<v Speaker 2>kids in the playground and it gets to the point

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<v Speaker 2>where you pretend you don't see it.

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<v Speaker 3>It's street Walkerone seen them ship in the everyone saw.

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<v Speaker 4>We're probably recording it.

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<v Speaker 2>But then imagine it you then stopped to pick up

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<v Speaker 2>up the pool on the road, and all the cars happened.

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<v Speaker 1>To wait for you to do it.

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<v Speaker 3>That was the thing.

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<v Speaker 4>I didn't know what to fucking do it.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, if I'm getting abused by that, we'll

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<v Speaker 1>imagine all the people in the cars.

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<v Speaker 4>This bitch is not picking up and a dog shit

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<v Speaker 4>on the Nestro crossing.

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<v Speaker 1>What am I supposed to do?

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<v Speaker 4>I can't even get one of those bags out quick

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<v Speaker 4>enough