1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:01,720 Speaker 1: Coming up on relatables. 2 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 2: Any relationships, work, relationships, parents, kids, dogs, even every relationship 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 2: is work, and the sooner you put in the work, 4 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:11,800 Speaker 2: the better that relationship is. 5 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 1: Fact Broa. 6 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 2: The Relatables podcast is hosted by myself, Oddie Clark ak Mummy, 7 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 2: and my partner in crime, the my Mustache Combradre Boy, 8 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 2: mister Jake Craig aka dad d. All Right, Jake, I 9 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 2: wanted to start the podcast today, maybe a little bit differently. 10 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,239 Speaker 2: We always have a bit of a laugh, but I 11 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 2: feel like this is very relatable. Okay, So you know 12 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 2: about me, I really really struggle to like feel enough, 13 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 2: and I'm always looking for I always i'm looking to 14 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 2: be the best, I'm looking to be better, and I 15 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 2: always struggle to live in the present moment. And I 16 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 2: know you do a little bit, definitely not as much 17 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 2: as me, but I do know you're always looking for 18 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 2: the next thing as well, and sometimes. 19 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, you do struggle, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah yeah. 20 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 2: So I wanted to say that you are enough and 21 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 2: I think you're doing great. Thank you, because you just 22 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 2: need to hear it sometimes. 23 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:19,839 Speaker 1: Did oh to you? 24 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:20,119 Speaker 3: Did? 25 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 1: I mean right back at? 26 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 2: I think so, But sometimes it's just really nice to hear, 27 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 2: and like, sometimes you get trapped in your little bubble 28 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 2: of you're trying to be better at the gym, you're 29 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 2: trying to be better at running, you're trying to be 30 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 2: better at work, and then you're just always looking for 31 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 2: the next thing that it's just nice to hear it 32 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 2: from someone else sometimes. 33 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: Damn, No, I really appreciate that. 34 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 3: Thank you, dude. 35 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: You Yeah, you definitely feel it way more than I do. Yeah, 36 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know you. I definitely would 37 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: say I would tell someone that I think that, Yeah, 38 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: you're like one of the hardest workers I know. And shit, 39 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: that's what. I don't know what it stems from. 40 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 2: I've tried to like analyze my life and like I 41 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 2: don't know if I was in like a psychology with 42 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 2: a psychologist. I think maybe it stems from I've always 43 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 2: had to like prove myself in like because I grew 44 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 2: up with soccer being my whole life till I was 45 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 2: like eighteen, and everything was about like impressing a coach 46 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 2: or something like that, and they always my value came 47 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 2: from if I was good enough to make a team. 48 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:14,679 Speaker 3: Yep. 49 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 2: So I wonder if I've always just stemmed from trying 50 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 2: to prove myself to someone else. That's where I get 51 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 2: my value from. That's my only loge. I'm trying to 52 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 2: bring logic into it. That's the only logical explanation I 53 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 2: can bring to it. 54 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,519 Speaker 1: I mean, I guess, I mean that would make sense 55 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 1: because if. 56 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 2: You got cuter, you weren't good enough. If you got 57 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 2: cut you meant you weren't good enough. Whereas I was 58 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 2: always trying to be the best, I was trying to 59 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 2: be the fittest, I was trying to be the fastest, 60 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 2: trying to be the. 61 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 1: Best on the ball. 62 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 2: I was trying to do that. And I was like, 63 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:37,359 Speaker 2: it probably does. 64 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 3: There was eighteen years. 65 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 2: It was pretty much fifteen years of my life, so 66 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,079 Speaker 2: it probably does stem a bit further than that. 67 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 1: That's probably a good observation. I suppose I was. I 68 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,799 Speaker 1: kind of stopped. I was really into like ice hockey 69 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 1: when I was in Canada, and then when I moved 70 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 1: to Australia, I stopped. So I don't I definitely would. Yeah, 71 00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 1: I don't get it as much like I know, I 72 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:06,079 Speaker 1: don't need I don't feel like you need like praise though. 73 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 2: No, which is why it's sort of like doesn't work 74 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 2: as well. But then I'm also like, is it just 75 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,079 Speaker 2: my competitive nature because I like to be good at 76 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 2: things I do. Yeah, and I go into things like 77 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 2: one hundred percent or zero. It's like even like I 78 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,359 Speaker 2: drink one hundred percent or I drink zero, Like it's 79 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:20,919 Speaker 2: the same thing. 80 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's no point to drink a zero. No, sorry 81 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: to like just casually do it. Well. You know what's 82 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 1: funny is like the other day when we I guess 83 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 1: launched the Facebook group. I think you said like, oh, 84 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: we're going to have some people to approve, like, well, 85 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 1: surely we'll get like five hundred in a day. And 86 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 1: I remember, like my mind, maybe I'm a little bit 87 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: of a pessimist in that area. Like in my mind, 88 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 1: I'm like you said, I don't want to set expectations. Yeah, 89 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I'm keeping my expectations low, like I'm 90 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: expecting a hundred. Yeah, and we got five dred actually yeah, 91 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: I think I think in twenty four hours we. 92 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 2: Got like four eg I think I said to you, 93 00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 2: I was like, fuck that, yeah you did. 94 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: I was we're getting five hundred yeah, yeah, yeah you did. 95 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: You're like fuck that. 96 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 2: Well, I'm a big manifest there too. I believe in manifestation, 97 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 2: he put something into the world and you're sad enough, yeah, 98 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 2: and you do it, it will happen. 99 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 100 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: I think I must just hate disappointments, to be fair, 101 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,680 Speaker 1: like I do hate disappointment, but I think it's. 102 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 2: Two very different ways in life, and both have their 103 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 2: benefits as well. 104 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 1: Like I was saying to you just before, how because 105 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 1: as everyone knows, we've probably said it times, like we 106 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 1: produce and we edit up the podcast and everything, and 107 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 1: I do all the clips and already does like everything 108 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 1: that's like on Spotify and YouTube and stuff. And so 109 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: because I do the clips, I post the clips and 110 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 1: when I post them on TikTok, for the last like 111 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: three weeks, I have not seen a single view, so 112 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: I don't I don't know what. I don't know what 113 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 1: views and videos are doing, which is like probably a 114 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: bad thing because it's like I need to know maybe like, oh, 115 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: this editing isn't really doing it for us right now, 116 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 1: but like all this content didn't hit, we won't do 117 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 1: that again. Yeah, yeah, like this isn't really doing it 118 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 1: for us. But at the same time, I've just been 119 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: so much more like because I would always check the 120 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: views of a video, I guess twenty four hours, like 121 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 1: I'll post one, go off my phone, go and teach whatever, 122 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,479 Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and then the next way when I 123 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 1: post the next video is when I see the views 124 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 1: of the video there before, and if it's done shit, 125 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, huh, but. 126 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 2: Sort of that's sort of like similar to taking a 127 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:25,040 Speaker 2: broad spectrum. We're obviously analyzing our podcast, but like boys 128 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,480 Speaker 2: and girls, especially on social media, will see a girl 129 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,479 Speaker 2: who's got millions or hundreds of thousands of followers post 130 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,919 Speaker 2: a bikini picture and think, fuck why I like that, 131 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 2: And we're sort of the same with our views. Yeah, 132 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,919 Speaker 2: the same thing, And it's just like I don't know. 133 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,480 Speaker 2: Sometimes you just got to hear bringing it back round circle, 134 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 2: like you are enough. Anyone listening you are enough and 135 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 2: likes completely normal to not be the best at everything, 136 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 2: not be the fittest, not be the sexiest, not be 137 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:50,159 Speaker 2: the fucking smartest. 138 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 1: It's completely like every single human in the world is 139 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: like that, Yeah, and it's okaye just to be normal, 140 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 1: which like sometimes I struggle to accept, yeah, and to 141 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,840 Speaker 1: live the normal life. He the thing about the people 142 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 1: seeing like say like a girl, a young girl sees 143 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,279 Speaker 1: a girl. It's like an influencer on the internet. It's 144 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 1: been I saw a video, and it's getting really really 145 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: bad because of the amount of editing that goes into 146 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: photos that we can't see. 147 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,760 Speaker 2: Really I've seen, I've saw and edited. I've saw a 148 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 2: video like that. 149 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,599 Speaker 1: Yeah, and so it's getting it's getting really really bad 150 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,679 Speaker 1: because it's really difficult to try and hammer into people. 151 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:32,359 Speaker 1: Young people especially like that what you see online is 152 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 1: very far from the truth, very far. 153 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 2: And it's also harder because we platform the zero point 154 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 2: zero one percent of good looking people like they're there 155 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 2: because they're the sexiest people in the world exactly, and 156 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 2: we platform them, which is like, props to you, You've 157 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 2: got the best genetics in the world, But I'm stuck 158 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 2: over here, tasty white with freckles everywhere. Yeah, you freckle. 159 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 1: Then you see even I see like girls like, how 160 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: the fuck are that tan? What's going on there? 161 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 3: It's weird. 162 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 1: Ay we're going to get on Milana tan boy. 163 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 2: But you also always see like the thing you're self 164 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 2: conscious about, yep, Like I immediately see someone's skin color 165 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:10,239 Speaker 2: where I'm sure a lot of people will see. 166 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: People's weight like their tone of or. 167 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 2: Dudes will see guys muscle size yep, if they're insecure 168 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 2: about that. Some people see height if they're fucking short, 169 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 2: like a guy like, fuck he's tall. 170 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 1: I wish I was at six for whatever. The brain. 171 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 2: I saw a statistic and the brain has like sixty 172 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 2: thousand thoughts a day, and like forty five thousand of 173 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 2: them are negative, so over half. See, our brain's always 174 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 2: just like trying to make us feel bad about ourselves. 175 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 2: What Yeah, that's crazy, Holy shit, lovely listeners senterse that, 176 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 2: but sorry, I can't remember your name. 177 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 3: Oh well. 178 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: I saw a thing of a podcast clip where someone said, 179 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 1: like the voice you hear ninety nine percent of the 180 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 1: time is your own, so make it nice. Yeah that's true. Yeah, 181 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 1: and I get. And it's kind of stuck with me 182 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 1: since you. 183 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 2: Know, you're stuck with your thoughts the whole time, like 184 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 2: you try. I know it's easier said than done, but 185 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 2: if you're if you're constantly consuming, like you looking. I 186 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 2: said to my girlfriend sometimes because I've said it on 187 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 2: the potty before, like she I said it to her 188 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 2: a little not a fight, but she doesn't like the 189 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 2: corn flights disagreement about it, Like sometimes she would wake 190 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,480 Speaker 2: up and be like, fuck, why's my skin like this? 191 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,640 Speaker 2: Or like whyre's my hair bad? And I said to 192 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 2: he us, like why are you saying? That's the first 193 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 2: thing you're saying in the morning. And it's a negative 194 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 2: connotation towards yourself, like when you either say nothing, which 195 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 2: is probably easier, or say like something good about yourself, 196 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 2: saying like well, I'm gonna have a good day today, 197 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 2: like just simple things like that. You don't know how 198 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 2: much it affects you. Yeah, dude, it's hard and it's 199 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 2: like even and I'm guilty too, not Yeah, Like I 200 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 2: I get up and I look at like we joke 201 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 2: about my hairline, and like I. 202 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 1: Like my hair is long enough and thick enough to 203 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: like cover it. And it's like, honestly, like I've seen worse, 204 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 1: but I still am like seen worse, Like like I 205 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 1: don't think I'm an ugly dude, right, but for some reason, 206 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 1: the thing I focused on most is like I got 207 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:57,319 Speaker 1: to make that bag so I can go to Turkey 208 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: and get this shit fixed. Bro, Like that's attack. I'm 209 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 1: pretty sure it's only like is it not? 210 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 2: Like fifteen K I. 211 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 1: Think it's less. I think Turkey is like, you want 212 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 1: to do it, you can put on the business man. 213 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: I'm happy to make you vide go out of it. 214 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 1: Oh come, I actually saw that podcast We got the chocolates. Yeah, 215 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:17,040 Speaker 1: an Australian company reached out to them and they made 216 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: a video for this Australian company and they did it. 217 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 2: But the thing is, you'd have to wear a hat 218 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 2: like six months on the pod you reckon your hairline 219 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 2: is literally like red and fucked yeah for so long, 220 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,200 Speaker 2: and then you have these little baby hairs. 221 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 1: That'll wear I'll wear like a like a band down 222 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,080 Speaker 1: because I feel like a hat will like to rack. 223 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 1: I mean, was that what it's called, Because I feel 224 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: like a hat will like fuck it. 225 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, like carething, we'd have to pre record six months 226 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,719 Speaker 4: and then like we'll cut and then yeah, so we'll 227 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,840 Speaker 4: pre record six months worth of episodes, all right, and 228 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 4: then and then I'll have the hair in it. 229 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,360 Speaker 1: And then just after six months, randomly will come to 230 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 1: an episode when I've got a shaved head with a 231 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 1: perfect hairline, and everyone's gonna be like Brad Pitt, who 232 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: what like what the fuck? Because the like the amount 233 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 1: of thoughts I have of like, I just want to 234 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 1: fucking shave my head because I didn't realize how much 235 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: you thought about this. I think about all the time. 236 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,920 Speaker 1: I thought you didn't care that much because it's like 237 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 1: he shells. I just like don't want to. I got 238 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: it from my dad. I think it's called a widow's peak, 239 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: Like I got it from my dad. Yeah, and I 240 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 1: just I like I would oh yeah, oh yeah, like 241 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,680 Speaker 1: he's he's to the point where it's like, just shave it. 242 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, where do you when did that listener? 243 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 1: Oh god, there's a photo of him when he's about 244 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 1: twenty one and he looks like me so pretty soon. 245 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 2: But I reckon, I'm glad you bagged Beth before you 246 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:41,800 Speaker 2: look your. 247 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 1: Hair, thinking, yeah, you got to keep her now. I 248 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: would have anyway. I would have anyway. But what I 249 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 1: was gonna say, oh, like, if it's a windy day 250 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 1: and I forget to wear a hat, all I want 251 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,200 Speaker 1: to do is that just be like I just wish 252 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: I could shave my head because it's just going it 253 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,559 Speaker 1: just annoys me, like in your Facebook, like, I just 254 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: want to fucking shave my head. Yeah, but I can't 255 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: do it because it would look bad. 256 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 2: So being so conscious, mate, because you are enough and 257 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 2: everyone listing is enough. Yes, all your imperfections are enough. 258 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love yourself, girl and boy. All right, guys. 259 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 1: Up next is dilemmas. But this is a little bit different, 260 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 1: and Jake is I'm in them. I'm in the dark 261 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 1: here for no reason in particular, just that I want 262 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 1: to do a blind reaction. 263 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 2: Really, but I think on Patreon, this is a plug 264 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 2: for Patreon. But if you want to go listen, obviously 265 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 2: to it. But we got a very interesting dilemma from 266 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,199 Speaker 2: a young listener who I'm going to plan a second again. 267 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:50,199 Speaker 2: And it was asking about her dad and feeling guilty 268 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 2: when he was sick about how what is it normal 269 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 2: to feel guilty and what she should do? And at 270 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 2: the end we gave some advice, and I thought our 271 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 2: advice was okay. But at the end he said, why 272 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 2: don't we you go and talk to your dad and 273 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:04,079 Speaker 2: asked for his opinion. 274 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:05,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what I did. 275 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 2: Oh, so I've got a I've miked my dad up. 276 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 2: What I've got his opinion on the dilemma, and he's 277 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 2: overall opinion on what it's like. So if anyone who 278 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,680 Speaker 2: doesn't know my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer like 279 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 2: two years ago, and this dilemma is sort of working 280 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 2: around that. 281 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 1: It's a similar thing but not really different health issues. 282 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,200 Speaker 2: So let's play a dilemma first, talk about a little bit, 283 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 2: then I'll play my dad's answer. 284 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 1: Fuck, yeah, I do it. I'm keep wow. 285 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 2: So this is the dilemma from Patreon, not a relationship dilemma. Hi, boys, 286 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,440 Speaker 2: absolutely love the pod. It's the only one I listened to. 287 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 2: My dilemma is something I was hoping you could help 288 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 2: me out with. I thought Ottie specifically might have some 289 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 2: insights for me. My dad has always been a bit older. 290 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 2: He's sixty three and I'm twenty one. My dad's sixty 291 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,959 Speaker 2: three and I'm twenty four, pretty close shit, and has 292 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,439 Speaker 2: struggled with have health issues my entire life, severe arthritis 293 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,079 Speaker 2: being the main issue causing him to have a lot 294 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 2: of pain in his joints, but unfortunately cannot get the 295 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,840 Speaker 2: medication to help him due to the condition of his heart, 296 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,960 Speaker 2: which has impacted his ability to stay in shape as such, 297 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 2: and he has been overweight my whole life. When I 298 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 2: was fifteen, he had a quadriple bypass surgery and survived, 299 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 2: but at the time, the doctors and my parents were 300 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 2: keeping my expectations low. My dad had mentioned me before 301 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:19,000 Speaker 2: that he knows he won't live any older than say, 302 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 2: eighty five plus, and over last year I felt overwhelming 303 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 2: fear about him dying. I love my dad with my 304 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,439 Speaker 2: whole heart and has been my rock and my advocate 305 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:31,680 Speaker 2: through the hardest times. I don't know how to shake 306 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 2: this fear of how to stop feeling guilty when I 307 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,200 Speaker 2: go on holidays with my friends or hang out with 308 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 2: my boyfriend. I lost a good friend when I was twelve, 309 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 2: which I think has exacerbated this fear of losing my dad. 310 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 2: I'm not sure what to do. I think it's just 311 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 2: my anxiety and overthinking, but I wanted some outside opinions 312 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 2: because I'm scared if I tell someone about this they'll 313 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,440 Speaker 2: think I'm crazy. Thanks for your help in advance, Keep 314 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 2: up the good work. 315 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 1: PS. 316 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 2: I started crying whilst writing this because it's the first 317 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 2: time I've written this out. So from that dilemma, me 318 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,079 Speaker 2: and Jake gave our advice like we usually do and 319 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 2: you all know, but we ended it with you should 320 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,600 Speaker 2: just go talk to your dad because everyone's life's different 321 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 2: and we don't know what he's going to say. 322 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, because I mean, I thought your advice was great 323 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,280 Speaker 1: in the sense of, like you felt the same, but 324 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 1: then you were like, but that's just like me feeling 325 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,600 Speaker 1: that way, Like my dad doesn't feel like that. 326 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 2: And it was interesting and my dad said some insightful 327 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 2: stuff that we didn't mention, which is cool. 328 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 1: I like it. 329 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 2: But I thought this was also very interesting because we're 330 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,840 Speaker 2: getting to the age where, like, no one wants to 331 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 2: admit that our parents are ever going to die, but 332 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 2: we're seeing the people around us, some parents are getting 333 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 2: cancer and anything like that, and they're coming to terms 334 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 2: that it might actually happen, and this is the first 335 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 2: time it's sort of happened and you had to reassess 336 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 2: your relationship. And I thought my dad gave some insightful 337 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 2: information just because like he's had cancer for two years. 338 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 2: He's in remission now, but like when that life card's 339 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,240 Speaker 2: on the like it's just there, it is, you don't 340 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 2: know how to feel and you don't know how to react, 341 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 2: and not many people talk about it. So I thought 342 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,360 Speaker 2: it would be good to see his perspective. 343 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm keen for this, Okay, So bear with this 344 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 1: speakers too, because it's not as good as this pod obviously. Yeah, 345 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:13,600 Speaker 1: that's fine. 346 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 2: The other day, Dad, we got a dilemma and I 347 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,360 Speaker 2: gave some advice, and at the end of that advice, 348 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 2: I said, talk to your dad, which is probably a 349 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,120 Speaker 2: really good thing to do, and I thought to myself, 350 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:27,960 Speaker 2: I should probably talk to my dad. Someone explained the 351 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 2: dilemma and let me know what you think about the 352 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,160 Speaker 2: advice I gave. 353 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:36,160 Speaker 5: All right, fine, how you feeling, I'll listen. 354 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,400 Speaker 3: You're a bit mate. How are you feeling? 355 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 1: Oh, I'm all right, it's so fun. 356 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 3: So there was a dilemma on the pod. 357 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,920 Speaker 2: A young girl was twenty one, and she was explaining 358 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 2: that her dad's always been sick and sort of similar 359 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,239 Speaker 2: to you, a different thing he had like a heart bypass, 360 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,480 Speaker 2: but he's always been a bit sick and there's been 361 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 2: a life expect didn't see put on his life, and 362 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,480 Speaker 2: he's not going to live as long as other people. 363 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 2: And her dilemma was she always felt guilty if she. 364 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:09,960 Speaker 3: Wasn't hanging out with him. 365 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 2: So from the kid's perspective that whenever she would go 366 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 2: traveling or not see him once a week or something, 367 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 2: she'd feel really guilty that she wasn't spending quality time 368 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 2: with her dad. That was a brief description of dilemma, 369 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 2: and my advice was, like, it's pretty natural to feel guilty. 370 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,360 Speaker 2: And initially when you got like diagnosed with cancer, I 371 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,920 Speaker 2: lived at Jake's and one of the reasons I came 372 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 2: back was money, But also another contributing factor was like 373 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 2: I wanted to hang out with you a lot more. 374 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,520 Speaker 2: And my perception sort of changed a little bit because 375 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,200 Speaker 2: I think my advice I gave was you'd be happy 376 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 2: seeing me live my life rather than just spending quality 377 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 2: time with me. 378 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:50,680 Speaker 5: Yeah. 379 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I also said that you would be busy worrying 380 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 2: about your life, not necessarily completely hanging out with me. 381 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 2: So I was going to ask you, like, what was 382 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 2: your thoughts on our relationship? Did you want anything more 383 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,320 Speaker 2: out of hanging out with me once you've got diagnosed 384 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,440 Speaker 2: cancer or anything like that. 385 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,760 Speaker 5: I'll just I think I'll just generalize rather than I 386 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 5: think it applies all round, like to everybody. It's not 387 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 5: just what it is between you and mate. But yeah, 388 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 5: there's probably two sides to it. You want your child 389 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 5: to be getting on with your life, and you want 390 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:29,439 Speaker 5: to see them happy, but at the same time, you 391 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 5: do want some quality time with them. So I think 392 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:39,040 Speaker 5: it's two fold. You can't be feeling guilty about going 393 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 5: and doing your own thing, but probably at the same time, 394 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,240 Speaker 5: if you do your own thing one hundred percent and 395 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:50,200 Speaker 5: ignore your parents, you're probably going to have some regrets. 396 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,640 Speaker 2: I thought a reason that they might feel more guilty too, though, 397 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,639 Speaker 2: is like my memories of us sort of start around 398 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 2: fourteen or fifteen, when my memory is sort of still 399 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,199 Speaker 2: like remember them like before that, I have little, like 400 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 2: little snippets of things, but I can't remember. But I'm 401 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 2: sure your memories of me start from when I was born, 402 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 2: so you have way more memories. So I feel like 403 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,119 Speaker 2: that's the reason why they're guilty, because you're trying to 404 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 2: jam more time in into it because it feels like 405 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 2: you can't remember as much as you can remember. 406 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,159 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's probably part of it. Yeah, I think if 407 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,439 Speaker 5: you put the effort into, you put that quality time in. 408 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,160 Speaker 5: You haven't been given a life expectancy, but they have. 409 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:30,440 Speaker 5: So the situation is that you've been given you've both 410 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,639 Speaker 5: been giving a life expectancy to have a relationship with 411 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:37,240 Speaker 5: each other that's going to finish, So how much do 412 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 5: you cherish it? And that's sort of if you answer 413 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:45,480 Speaker 5: that question, that sort of influences how you. 414 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 3: Decis making up, where you go and what you do, because. 415 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,480 Speaker 5: It's it's a sentence for both of you, because the 416 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 5: relationship will be done truncated. 417 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. 418 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:56,679 Speaker 2: Well, was there anything else you want to have? Our 419 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,160 Speaker 2: relationship when you first got diagnosed on our. 420 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,480 Speaker 5: I think it's too complicated. It's like I'm still going 421 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:04,919 Speaker 5: through it. 422 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 2: But you're happy with the amount of time we spent together. Yeah, 423 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 2: we got a bit of we work together, so it's 424 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:12,000 Speaker 2: a little bit. 425 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,919 Speaker 3: Yeah, we work together. That's quality time, but it's a 426 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:15,360 Speaker 3: lot of time. 427 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 5: I'd probably like to have a good quality trip, to 428 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:18,000 Speaker 5: be honest. 429 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, we didn't really get that when you went surfing 430 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:21,639 Speaker 3: and I was busy. 431 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 5: Yeah I went surfing and you were doing your own stuff. 432 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,159 Speaker 5: But I respected that, and you know, there may be 433 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,920 Speaker 5: chances down the track. Yeah, I'll change down. 434 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,639 Speaker 3: The track definitely. Just got a barley or something. 435 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, I've got a few things in mind. 436 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,160 Speaker 5: It's just a matter of get clearance to go. Yeah, 437 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:45,360 Speaker 5: I'll be going regardless. So you know, if you want 438 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 5: a camel. 439 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 2: Well, thanks dad for that, just a little bit of 440 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 2: an insight that helps into your I think it's interesting 441 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 2: to see we always talk from the young person's side, 442 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,119 Speaker 2: giving a perspective from the father or person in the 443 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 2: situation with everyone listening, probably those parents who are eventually 444 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,879 Speaker 2: going to what's happening to you. 445 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 5: It's all round, like your parents aren't going to be 446 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 5: there forever, whether they're diagnosed or not. You know, you 447 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:14,399 Speaker 5: can just take it to a different level sort of 448 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 5: based on my experience. I mean, I'm in the early sixties. 449 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,960 Speaker 5: If you put the effort in and spend the time 450 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,440 Speaker 5: with your parents, I think you're just going to you're 451 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:27,400 Speaker 5: really going to love. 452 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,639 Speaker 3: That you did it and cherish those memories. 453 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:34,199 Speaker 5: Churish memories, and those memories you're going to take with 454 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,439 Speaker 5: you on your next experiences. Like you're not going to 455 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 5: be having sort of flashbacks or setbacks because you didn't 456 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 5: do this, you didn't do that. But if you have 457 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:46,200 Speaker 5: quality of time with your parents sort of regardless, that's 458 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,280 Speaker 5: that's what you're going to take with you, and you're 459 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 5: going to be a much more positive person and you're 460 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:54,679 Speaker 5: going to be sharing that positiveness with the people that 461 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,359 Speaker 5: you interact with with the next generation. So it's sort 462 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:00,639 Speaker 5: of you know, it's not just because someone's got a 463 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 5: you know, a bit of a sentence. Yeah, no, Italian, 464 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:09,240 Speaker 5: it's about relationships with your parents. Yeah, that's what I think. 465 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think it's just it's hard for any 466 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:17,119 Speaker 2: kid to imagine that their father or mom is going 467 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:18,919 Speaker 2: to die because they've always been like the rock in 468 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 2: their relationship at any point, not cancer, even like eighty ninety. 469 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,320 Speaker 5: Oh, they've always been there. Like it's youn' it's very, 470 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 5: very traumatic. You can't come to terms with it. 471 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 2: And now I think everyone who's like turned twenty, twenty five, 472 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 2: thirty the first time you've ever had to think about 473 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 2: it as like. 474 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 3: Someone my age. So it's just like what do I do? 475 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 5: Yeah, I reckon just spend the time with them, And 476 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 5: I think that's the message, whether they're they're where your 477 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,880 Speaker 5: parents are diagnosed, they're not there. We're all going down 478 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:47,960 Speaker 5: the same path. We're not going to be forever. So 479 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:50,159 Speaker 5: spend the time with them, put the effort in, and 480 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:54,159 Speaker 5: you you get that back with how you feel and 481 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:56,760 Speaker 5: you take and that's part of your persona that you 482 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 5: present to your your kids, your your exactly. Yeah, and 483 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:06,120 Speaker 5: that's probably good. That's a good message of everyone. Yeah, 484 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:07,200 Speaker 5: that's what I would say. 485 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 1: I like it. 486 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,200 Speaker 5: Thanks for coming on, dud cool. All right, I'm going 487 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 5: surfing the Java if you want to come by if I. 488 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 3: Get you. 489 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,680 Speaker 1: Know, it's that. I like a few things he said 490 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,760 Speaker 1: there was sick. Yeah. One of them was that it's 491 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,639 Speaker 1: not just a sentence for your parent, it's a sentence 492 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 1: for you as well, for your relationship. Yeah, because like, yeah, 493 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,000 Speaker 1: they've gone and you don't have a relationship with them. 494 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,480 Speaker 2: It's one thing. It's good I had that. It was 495 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,439 Speaker 2: a little bit like a confronting chat a little bit. 496 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 2: It was just like a little bit awkward. I also 497 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 2: was recording it, but yeah, it was just weird to 498 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,159 Speaker 2: sit down and talk to my dad about his and 499 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,000 Speaker 2: my feelings because like, too's like a son and a 500 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,440 Speaker 2: father don't really do that. 501 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 1: No, I know you're right, they don't. 502 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 2: And although it's a terrible thing that happened to dad 503 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 2: of cancer, the one benefit that's come out of it 504 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,160 Speaker 2: is probably a relationship and bonds got a little bit tighter, stronger, 505 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 2: and stronger. But I thought it was a great takeaway message, 506 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,960 Speaker 2: was like, no, matter if your parents are sick or not, 507 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 2: I feel like we do take them for granted, even 508 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:12,360 Speaker 2: if we have. 509 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: A great relationship. 510 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,840 Speaker 2: I bet you every person right now listening is like, fuck, 511 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,400 Speaker 2: I can probably hang out with my mum or dad 512 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:18,640 Speaker 2: more if I wanted. 513 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:23,640 Speaker 1: To, dude. One thing that I really like gathered from 514 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 1: that was like when you're you know, let's see when 515 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 1: when you're when one of your parents dies, right, like, 516 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 1: what will you cherish more? Or when you're dying, for instance, 517 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 1: what will you cherish more? The time spent with family 518 00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 1: or that random night out on a Saturday. Literally, like 519 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,159 Speaker 1: that's the thing is, It's it's funny A. 520 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 2: And the thing that like resonated with me too was 521 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,760 Speaker 2: like you are going to take it like when I 522 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,480 Speaker 2: have kids, I'm going to be remembering how my dad 523 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 2: raised me hopefully if you have good parents, and like 524 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 2: I'm going to take that into my fathering and like 525 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,960 Speaker 2: the relationship we had. Whereas like, like you said, if I'm 526 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 2: doing something random like going to a party, like it's 527 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 2: all good and well and doing it within the means. 528 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 2: But like I think, even like back when I was 529 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,720 Speaker 2: eighteen and stuff, I was thinking if I didn't have 530 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,280 Speaker 2: friends to go to the movies with. I wouldn't go, 531 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,359 Speaker 2: but like I could easily take my mum or my dad. 532 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,119 Speaker 2: And it's weird, like how like my shifting my brain's 533 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 2: obviously happening, and I'm realizing they're more like they're my 534 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,480 Speaker 2: friends as well, not just my parents. Like they can 535 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 2: go just hang out like one we don't have to 536 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:32,800 Speaker 2: just plan. Someone can say, Mum, you want to go 537 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 2: watch the new Marvel. 538 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:34,000 Speaker 1: Movie with me? 539 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, and she'd come. 540 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 1: Even if she didn't like Marvel, she probably would just 541 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,480 Speaker 1: because she wants to hang out. Yeah, She's like, fuck off, 542 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 1: I don't want to see that. 543 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 2: But it's still nice to ask, you know who you asked. 544 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,880 Speaker 2: But I thought it was a very interesting and insightful 545 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,400 Speaker 2: message from my Dad's a very soft spoken guy, drawn 546 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 2: out a bit, but yeah, you know, he's very he's 547 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,200 Speaker 2: very calculated, a bit like probably where I get it from. 548 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's amazing. 549 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,280 Speaker 2: I thought it was a good insight to see from 550 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,680 Speaker 2: the father perspective and someone who's potentially sick as well. 551 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 3: Well. 552 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,119 Speaker 1: It makes me think. So in December, my parents are moving. 553 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 1: They're moving a state away. They're moving to the Gold Coast, 554 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,320 Speaker 1: which is like a ten hour drive or it's an 555 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,080 Speaker 1: hour flight still like a travel day, I guess regardless, 556 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,159 Speaker 1: like a full day of travel to get there. And 557 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 1: so like if you think about like I'm thinking about it, 558 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,160 Speaker 1: you know, like if I don't move to the Gold 559 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,440 Speaker 1: Coast ever, let's say don't move there ever, like I'm 560 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 1: only going to see my parents probably like a couple 561 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,640 Speaker 1: times a year, a couple of times a year, because 562 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,080 Speaker 1: you know, we get to a stage at life in 563 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:36,680 Speaker 1: life like as much like you and I will probably 564 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:40,440 Speaker 1: really only get busier. Let's say it will work and 565 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 1: then like you know, also they work, they're just going 566 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,200 Speaker 1: to be you know, normal busyness. It's like they both have. 567 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,160 Speaker 1: And then they've got my younger brother and sister who 568 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,600 Speaker 1: are going to be in university or like school still. 569 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,639 Speaker 1: So like really, if you think about it, if my 570 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 1: dad's you know, fifty something and he's gonna for another 571 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 1: let's say he's gonna live till his ninety, that's a 572 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:06,359 Speaker 1: fair life. Yeah, nine, Like I'm probably only going to 573 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 1: see my dad like fucking two hundred more times. And 574 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,919 Speaker 1: when you feel like when you look at that number 575 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:15,160 Speaker 1: seem scary, you're like what Yeah, that's a crazy like 576 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:16,760 Speaker 1: like that's stupid. I'm going to see my dad a 577 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,919 Speaker 1: million more times. Yeah, Like so it's that listening to 578 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,960 Speaker 1: that conversations made me think, like, you know, although it 579 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 1: could cost a bit to go and fly them and 580 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: see them once a month for a weekend, like at 581 00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,119 Speaker 1: least it's fucking I go stay there. No, it's free 582 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:37,920 Speaker 1: accommodation and like you know, when they die, I'll look 583 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: back and think, yeah, I'd spend fucking double that now. 584 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think because it was very interesting because 585 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,880 Speaker 2: my what we answered on Patreon was similar. 586 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 1: But I think I didn't value I. 587 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 2: Didn't value the relationship, but I didn't see how important 588 00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,480 Speaker 2: it would be for the rest of my life as well. 589 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,119 Speaker 2: Like if that makes sense, Like I do value it 590 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,320 Speaker 2: so much. Yeah, Like he just made me see it 591 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:01,040 Speaker 2: a little bit more. 592 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, so you're going to go on a trip with 593 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 1: him more? Yeah, I think. 594 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,000 Speaker 2: So we've got to get I'm just the thing about 595 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,439 Speaker 2: me is like I've got a plan stuff and like 596 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 2: it's not an excuse, like but I look at planning 597 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 2: things won't be like we'll plan to go to dinner, 598 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,119 Speaker 2: Like I don't see quality of time. It's just like 599 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,240 Speaker 2: hanging out and grabbing a coffee with him, my walking. 600 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,960 Speaker 2: I think I need to do more spontaneous stuff with 601 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,400 Speaker 2: my dad. Well, yeah, like just going for a wall. 602 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,440 Speaker 2: If he's like warring the plants that around the house 603 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 2: or something taking fucking forty five minutes, I'll just go 604 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:27,199 Speaker 2: out and talk to him. 605 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, just doal it with him. Yeah, something like that. 606 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,560 Speaker 2: Not like necessary, because my thing's always been planning with 607 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,159 Speaker 2: my parents, whereas we dinner with them. Sometimes we're not 608 00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 2: prem not that much. 609 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,920 Speaker 1: Not all the time, no, no, all the time. 610 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 2: So I think it's just I thought it was a 611 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:43,439 Speaker 2: cool message. And yeah, first things first, we started with 612 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 2: Jakes enough. Yeah, make your relationship with your parents enough, dude. Yeah, 613 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,679 Speaker 2: that's a good message, Yeah, because you won't regret it 614 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:51,840 Speaker 2: once you like on today pass eventually and it's just 615 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,359 Speaker 2: coming to terms without being young. And hopefully you or 616 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,840 Speaker 2: anyone listening doesn't have to come to those terms anytime soon. 617 00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,200 Speaker 2: But the sooner you realize, and as sooner you work 618 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 2: on any relations ships work. Yeah, relationships, parents, kids, dogs, 619 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,200 Speaker 2: even every relationship is work. And the sooner you put 620 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,239 Speaker 2: in the work, the better that relationship is. 621 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 5: Facts bro. 622 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,879 Speaker 1: Going off you saying relationships of work. Oddie, I have 623 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,159 Speaker 1: like a I found this thread. I guess it's like 624 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 1: it was on TikTok and it was titled things that 625 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,840 Speaker 1: are normal in a relationship but nobody talks about it? 626 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,320 Speaker 1: And I mean I really liked it. I don't know 627 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:36,000 Speaker 1: what's going to be enough. Yeah, I just thought, like 628 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 1: fucking facts, bro. So the things things that are normal 629 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 1: in a relationship but nobody talks about is that your 630 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:47,480 Speaker 1: partner will not meet all your needs. They weren't. Hey, 631 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,880 Speaker 1: you have to like sacrifice a little bit. Yeah, and 632 00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 1: it says underneath they must meet your deal breaking needs 633 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:59,280 Speaker 1: and emotional emotional slash physical needs sorry, safety needs whatever. 634 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,680 Speaker 1: But all this secondairy and tertiary needs of being a 635 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 1: human cannot be met by one person. That's why it's 636 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 1: important to invest in friendships, hobbies, and an identity outside 637 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:11,920 Speaker 1: of your relationship. 638 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,560 Speaker 2: Oh that's so, because I was gonna say, like there 639 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 2: is a certain point of a little bit of compromise, 640 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 2: like getting into a relationship, there's none negotiables, but you 641 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,760 Speaker 2: do have that little bit of compromise. Yeah, but that's 642 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 2: we'd say that that, like you can't always rely on 643 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 2: your partner to give you everything, especially you gotta look 644 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 2: outside of that for what you need. 645 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:34,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, I always found it so crazy, like people, I 646 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 1: think when I was young, I thought, like, I got 647 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:41,000 Speaker 1: to take my time. There's nothing wrong with taking time, 648 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,680 Speaker 1: but like, I need to really find the person that's 649 00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 1: perfect for me. But in reality, there is not a 650 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,240 Speaker 1: single person in the world that is perfect for you. 651 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:56,440 Speaker 1: I'm kidding, except for you obviously, Leanda, But like you know, 652 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,720 Speaker 1: there's those people that you know, like, well, it's it's 653 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:01,960 Speaker 1: it's I have different friends for different things. 654 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I have friends to work out with, I 655 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,720 Speaker 2: have friends to go to the beach with, friends. 656 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,680 Speaker 1: To drink with, Like it's the same. 657 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,680 Speaker 2: Like in a relationship, hopefully your partner gives you most 658 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 2: of those things. But even like intellectually stimulating conversations about 659 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 2: I don't know your passionate about kites, Yep, you might 660 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 2: need someone else, but that good point, man, Like so 661 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,320 Speaker 2: if yeah, if you're sitting there, well, I think it's 662 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 2: hard for people to admit that their partner can't give 663 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:26,360 Speaker 2: them everything. 664 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,880 Speaker 1: Well yeah, no, But also it's the most mature thing 665 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:31,880 Speaker 1: to admit, is that your partner will not be able 666 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,160 Speaker 1: to give you everything, and it's just like like you 667 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,959 Speaker 1: were saying, like there's no negotiables, but if there's just 668 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 1: like little things, you know, like you and your partner 669 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:45,400 Speaker 1: are different humans. It's only something you've got to remember, Yeah, and. 670 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,120 Speaker 2: You've got to accept that and not like if your 671 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:51,640 Speaker 2: partner especially, I feel like it maybe it's both sided obviously, 672 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 2: but a lot of the time girls might see it 673 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,400 Speaker 2: as a problem for guys going somewhere else to get 674 00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,760 Speaker 2: something not necessarily another girl. Yeah no, no, no yet like going. 675 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 1: Like something like why can't you talk to me about it? 676 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,360 Speaker 2: And but you might not just be able to get 677 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:05,040 Speaker 2: what he needs. 678 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:09,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just one of those tertiary things that it's just. Yeah, 679 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:11,720 Speaker 1: it's weird. Yeah, it's interesting. 680 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,320 Speaker 2: It feels like an attack a little bit on them. 681 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:17,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's not. Yeah, it's not. Number two. Sex 682 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 1: is not always going to be like the movies. You 683 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,440 Speaker 1: don't you don't always have to be breaking the bed 684 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,040 Speaker 1: and doing it in public. It's normal for couples to 685 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 1: have periods of higher and lower into some intimacy levels. 686 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 1: There are a lot of factors like health, stress, lifestyle 687 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,440 Speaker 1: habits that can cause this. This is a sign to track, 688 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:41,080 Speaker 1: but not always an immediate red flag. Oh that's so relatable. 689 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:44,880 Speaker 2: One of like the first things I realized about having 690 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 2: a long term girlfriend is like how life gets in 691 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:48,160 Speaker 2: the way. 692 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:53,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, look, sex slows down. Yeah, and I don't know. Yeah, 693 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,880 Speaker 1: it's like whether it's it's lifestyle. 694 00:31:56,120 --> 00:32:00,960 Speaker 2: Like even girls' bodies too, guy's hormones levels too. Everything 695 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,600 Speaker 2: just adds up. And then sometimes you're on the mood 696 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 2: and then like sometimes you just want to cuddle and 697 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:06,000 Speaker 2: have a little intimate session with. 698 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:10,400 Speaker 1: Not a lot of energy. Sometimes you want to masturbate. Yeah, exactly, 699 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 1: that happens. Yeah, you do, and that's normal, fully normal. 700 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,280 Speaker 1: Exceptingly it's the hardest thing. It's so it's weird a 701 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,600 Speaker 1: but I'll move on. Number three. You won't always like 702 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 1: your partner. Relationships go through seasons and can have ups 703 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,400 Speaker 1: and downs. There may be some critical issues you differ on. 704 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 1: There may be moments where you don't like your partner 705 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:38,080 Speaker 1: but you love them. Learning to self regulate, self soothe, 706 00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:42,600 Speaker 1: and communicate in a constructive way is necessary to ride 707 00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,320 Speaker 1: this out. I think that's when you love shines through. 708 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's definitely moments when you're fucking, fucking pissing 709 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:48,800 Speaker 2: me off right now? 710 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,600 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, sometimes you're in an argument and you're just 711 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: like you look at them and your blood boils. Yeah, 712 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 1: and that's when the love shines because you're like you're like, fuck, 713 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,280 Speaker 1: I love you, but fuck off. Yeah I know, Yeah, yeah, 714 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 1: I love you, but fuck I'd love an hour away. 715 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:06,440 Speaker 2: And it's relatable to feel that, and it's normal. Like, 716 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:08,480 Speaker 2: like you said, he's not You're not gonna have someone 717 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,720 Speaker 2: who's perfect in front of you. To me, it's Lardi 718 00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,160 Speaker 2: dahded Ar, Rainbow Sunshine, not you get along. 719 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,160 Speaker 1: It's not possible. No, And you're not perfect for them. Yeah. Yeah, 720 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,160 Speaker 1: I bet you piss them off more than You've got 721 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,479 Speaker 1: to remember. Yeah, if they regulate it better. Yeah, if 722 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,520 Speaker 1: your partner's pissing you off, you have to remember that 723 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:28,600 Speaker 1: you also piss them off. Yeah yeah, all right. Number four, 724 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:33,000 Speaker 1: I think you will want to be alone. I relate 725 00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,480 Speaker 1: to this so relatable. People need personal space and alone time. 726 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,280 Speaker 1: Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean that 727 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,320 Speaker 1: will need that need will go away. If your partner 728 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,880 Speaker 1: or you want alone time, that's not a sign that 729 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,600 Speaker 1: the relationship is bad. Finding balance between alone and together 730 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,800 Speaker 1: time is important. I think that coincides with like the 731 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:52,920 Speaker 1: number two he said, you've got to get things from 732 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,600 Speaker 1: other people, you get things. 733 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,320 Speaker 2: From yourself as well. Fuck yeah, and that come from 734 00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 2: just like being alone. Like I love my alone gym time. 735 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,480 Speaker 2: Same Like sometimes like when someone asked me to work out, 736 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:04,560 Speaker 2: I'll be like, eh. 737 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Like I don't always like working out with. 738 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,440 Speaker 2: I'll just be like I just want to go on 739 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,399 Speaker 2: my phone, listen to music and work out. 740 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to talk to anyone. Yeah, headphones in. 741 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:13,960 Speaker 1: Like I went to the gym with Jack yesterday and 742 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,840 Speaker 1: like it was his first time going since we started 743 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:19,799 Speaker 1: the challenge that is on Patreon plug. But yeah, it 744 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,399 Speaker 1: was kind of annoying constantly. Yeah, it is the wait 745 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,279 Speaker 1: the fuck it, I'm going to kick out. We got 746 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:32,160 Speaker 1: phones and they're sick. Okay. You will find other people attractive, Yeah, 747 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,919 Speaker 1: that's life. It's natural for people in relationships to find 748 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,680 Speaker 1: others attractive from time to time. In fact, it is human. 749 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,880 Speaker 1: What's important is having open conversations about what monogamy means 750 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,799 Speaker 1: to each partner and discuss what the lines and boundaries are. 751 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,280 Speaker 1: Remember it made different for different couples. 752 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,040 Speaker 2: Well, I feel like the responsible thing here is like, 753 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,279 Speaker 2: you can appreciate someone else's beauty. That doesn't mean I 754 00:34:58,320 --> 00:34:59,680 Speaker 2: want to be in a relationship or. 755 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,600 Speaker 1: Have sex them. Yeah. Yeah, in facts, that's as simple 756 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,160 Speaker 1: as it is. I quite often find dudes like and 757 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,680 Speaker 1: be like, that's a dude. I think I think that 758 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 1: is a dude. 759 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:08,839 Speaker 3: Yeah. 760 00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:10,800 Speaker 2: There was a guy that Jim and Barley of Cassie. 761 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,680 Speaker 2: I was like, OK, yeah, I knew his instagramcause he's famous. 762 00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:14,000 Speaker 2: I was like, look at this guy's fucking body. 763 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:19,160 Speaker 3: Crazy. All right. 764 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:23,920 Speaker 1: You will have totally different opinions. Yeah, you do not 765 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,120 Speaker 1: have to see I two I on every political, social, 766 00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,480 Speaker 1: or general issue. This doesn't mean you are not compatible 767 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,320 Speaker 1: or that you can't get along. A healthy difference of 768 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 1: opinion will help both of you grow as long as 769 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 1: you are respectful towards each other. Oh, next one, I 770 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:44,000 Speaker 1: think there's two more. You will both change. 771 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:45,719 Speaker 2: This is I think this is why a lot of 772 00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:46,440 Speaker 2: people break up too. 773 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,920 Speaker 1: This is a huge one. You've changed. 774 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,799 Speaker 2: Didn't your ex say that to you? Yes, when we're 775 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,440 Speaker 2: starting this potty or something, you were like it was 776 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,440 Speaker 2: something around then. I'm pretty sure you were like growing 777 00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,640 Speaker 2: as a person person on social media, putting yourself out 778 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,600 Speaker 2: there and you've changed I want. 779 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,240 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it was no no, because we started 780 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:08,520 Speaker 1: I didn't have an X anywhere near like starting the podcast. 781 00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,319 Speaker 1: Maybe wasn't. Maybe I lost there. I think, you know 782 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,279 Speaker 1: what I one year for my birthday, well, I was 783 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,880 Speaker 1: with my ex. I asked my parents for a camera 784 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:22,799 Speaker 1: because I and I started filming some stuff and I 785 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:27,560 Speaker 1: liked it. I liked learning to edit little videos. And yeah, 786 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,440 Speaker 1: we got an argument one time and she said, like, 787 00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:34,319 Speaker 1: you've just changed like so much, you know, like you're 788 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,040 Speaker 1: just trying to do this thing, and I was kind 789 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,320 Speaker 1: of like, yeah, because I want to for the better. 790 00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:39,920 Speaker 2: I'm finding out what I like. 791 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,480 Speaker 1: So yeah, it says our bodies, habits, likes and dislikes, 792 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:45,600 Speaker 1: and lifestyle changes over time. You and your partner will 793 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:49,920 Speaker 1: go through emotional fluctuations, Your hobbies and interests will change. 794 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,200 Speaker 1: You can keep your band strong, so you can keep 795 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,960 Speaker 1: your bond strong by finding continuous overlap between your changes 796 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,400 Speaker 1: and their changes. Okay, this one I think is a 797 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:04,479 Speaker 1: huge one. Last one's a huge one. You won't love 798 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:09,320 Speaker 1: each other's families. Oh, you don't have to be besties 799 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:13,959 Speaker 1: with their siblings or parents and device versa. These relationships 800 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:18,280 Speaker 1: are nuanced and come with a lot of emotional inheritance. 801 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:23,040 Speaker 1: It is important to be respectful, warm and caring without 802 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,120 Speaker 1: overstepping your own or their boundaries. 803 00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,520 Speaker 2: I saw this on It was a trend on TikTok 804 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,719 Speaker 2: going through, and I was like people setting their boundaries 805 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:35,440 Speaker 2: for each other's parents, because you gotta take into consideration 806 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,080 Speaker 2: you're both brought up in different ways and you have 807 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:40,919 Speaker 2: different relationships with your parents. And so one person said, 808 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,279 Speaker 2: this is as much as I can give, and this 809 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:44,880 Speaker 2: is as much as I can take anymore, and like 810 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 2: that's not all I can do, which you gotta respect. 811 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,600 Speaker 2: And that's the same from the girl's side and the 812 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,279 Speaker 2: guy's side. Yeah, and you just got to meet in 813 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,040 Speaker 2: the middle. And then if it goes past that, you say, no, 814 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,440 Speaker 2: we can't go, we can't hang out exactly. 815 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 3: No. 816 00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,920 Speaker 1: I've seen so many things on TikTok where it's like 817 00:37:57,719 --> 00:37:59,720 Speaker 1: I've been married for fifty years, he's my best advice, 818 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,360 Speaker 1: and they'll be like a little thread like this, and 819 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:04,080 Speaker 1: there'll be things of advice and the most consistent one 820 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,000 Speaker 1: I've seen of like i'd say maybe i've seen ten 821 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,279 Speaker 1: over the years I've been on TikTok whatever. But the 822 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,840 Speaker 1: most consistent one that I've seen is we don't. It 823 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:17,160 Speaker 1: was like we would keep our families separate from just 824 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:21,120 Speaker 1: like fights, disagreements, stuff like that, because if you go 825 00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,080 Speaker 1: to your family, they're biased towards you. 826 00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:24,719 Speaker 3: No matter what. 827 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:28,160 Speaker 1: They're going to side with you no matter what. And 828 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,080 Speaker 1: so yeah, that's like one of the biggest things is 829 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,160 Speaker 1: like keeping your families out of it, because they can 830 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,759 Speaker 1: have just such huge impact and like, you know, my 831 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:38,879 Speaker 1: dad's opinion on me means like so much. So it's 832 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,839 Speaker 1: like if I go to him with something and then 833 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,600 Speaker 1: he's like, oh, she's being a fucking wench, you know, 834 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,600 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like, you know what, maybe she is. 835 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:49,319 Speaker 1: So it's like, you know, not that they're not good 836 00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,799 Speaker 1: people to go to for advice, but just for your relationship. 837 00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,000 Speaker 1: I think, like me personally, I just find that to 838 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,160 Speaker 1: be And then I wanted to be such a private thing. 839 00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:59,560 Speaker 1: It's also because they can't. My parents they would love 840 00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,480 Speaker 1: to my girlfriend as much as possible, but they don't 841 00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:05,400 Speaker 1: really know her. No, no, and like Sam, like my 842 00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:07,799 Speaker 1: partner's parents, like they will give them as much as 843 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,080 Speaker 1: they're never going to know who I am behind closed doors. 844 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:12,640 Speaker 1: It's like I said to you the like last week, 845 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 1: how I said, like, one thing we don't ever say 846 00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 1: to each other as friends, but also I would never 847 00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:20,920 Speaker 1: say to my parents is like Beth makes me the happiest. 848 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,160 Speaker 1: She's like as any girlfriend ive ever had, you know, 849 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,000 Speaker 1: Like they don't know that, and. 850 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,719 Speaker 2: It's all good. It's even good for you to say 851 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,800 Speaker 2: that to me. But also I'm never going to see 852 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:29,640 Speaker 2: Beth that you see. 853 00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:30,680 Speaker 1: Bet No, You're never gonna say it. 854 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,560 Speaker 2: No matter what, I'm never going to see the same 855 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,480 Speaker 2: way that you do. So your parents trying to like 856 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,239 Speaker 2: feel that it's just impossible. 857 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:37,360 Speaker 1: Now it's not. It's not possible. 858 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good interesting list, that's what I thought. 859 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's very interesting. 860 00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:43,640 Speaker 2: And it's probably a good list of bringing your partner. 861 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:43,800 Speaker 5: You know. 862 00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:45,799 Speaker 1: It's funny, is I've watched a Ted Talk last night 863 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,359 Speaker 1: that I could bring up next week. Maybe I didn't. 864 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:49,040 Speaker 1: I didn't think I thought it was gonna be good enough, 865 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,680 Speaker 1: But it might be funny because you say that your 866 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,000 Speaker 1: girlfriend was like, they're not fights, Like I don't like 867 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,000 Speaker 1: corn fights. Yeah, I don't know if in the Ted 868 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,280 Speaker 1: Talk at it says anything that about that being unhealthy 869 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,040 Speaker 1: or not. But like they really talk about you know, 870 00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,239 Speaker 1: it's like the way you fight, like you can call 871 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,200 Speaker 1: it a fight, like you never hear someone coming and 872 00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:07,640 Speaker 1: be like, I had the best fight with my girlfriend 873 00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:11,000 Speaker 1: the other day, But like the way you fight is 874 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:14,279 Speaker 1: a big, big, big indicator apparently, really yeah, to be 875 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:15,840 Speaker 1: worth it. Maybe actually I'll send it to you, but 876 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,680 Speaker 1: like I just like I want to send it to 877 00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:18,960 Speaker 1: my girlfriend and I want to send it to just 878 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,120 Speaker 1: like everyone because it is. It sounds so interesting, and 879 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,640 Speaker 1: these people are like, yeah, if we meet someone within 880 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,480 Speaker 1: the first five minutes, we meet a couple with a 881 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:32,040 Speaker 1: ninety six percent like accuracy, we can tell what's going 882 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,120 Speaker 1: to happen in the next six years. Really, yeah, that's wild. 883 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:37,120 Speaker 1: I'll leave it on. I reckon. 884 00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:40,440 Speaker 2: This is the it's not funny, but the funniest and 885 00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:44,279 Speaker 2: most relatablest fight relationships have. And I know you've had it. 886 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,120 Speaker 2: And it was the only fighter I had in Bali, 887 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,560 Speaker 2: and it was having like a It wasn't out a 888 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:50,080 Speaker 2: fight at that point. It was I can't remember what 889 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,960 Speaker 2: it was about, but I started to not raise my voice, 890 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:55,319 Speaker 2: but as a guy like I was getting my point 891 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,640 Speaker 2: across more by getting my voice. 892 00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,839 Speaker 1: A little bit deeper. And then she was like, don't 893 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,040 Speaker 1: is your voice of me. I'm like, I'm not raising 894 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:06,160 Speaker 1: my voice. And when I hear those words, don't yell 895 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:10,120 Speaker 1: at me. I'm yeah, I'm like, you want me to yell. 896 00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,600 Speaker 1: You don't want me to yell. I was like, I'm not. 897 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:19,520 Speaker 1: I'm talking the same, but that's not the guy's brains. 898 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,640 Speaker 1: You're not listening to me. So and but props to her, 899 00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:24,640 Speaker 1: like she said that she established I took it too far, 900 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,000 Speaker 1: like took my voice too far. I think that's the 901 00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:30,440 Speaker 1: most relatable fight is when the guys or the girls 902 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,080 Speaker 1: even raising his voice, raising her voice. I don't raise 903 00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:36,480 Speaker 1: your voices. Don't yell at me. I feel you sometimes 904 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,760 Speaker 1: a good yelling. I kind of maybe I just want one. 905 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,160 Speaker 1: I've never had one. I don't think I will. I've 906 00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:44,359 Speaker 1: never had one with death, I've never had one with 907 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,080 Speaker 1: like anyone. Only only time I've ever had one with 908 00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:49,879 Speaker 1: an ex girlfriend is when we're both drunk. Yeah that's why. Yeah, 909 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:54,600 Speaker 1: that's fine. Emotions un intact there exactly. Anyways, I thank 910 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,719 Speaker 1: you for listening. Yeah, thank you about it this far 911 00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,960 Speaker 1: Patreon five dollars a month. Go join the Facebook group. 912 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,200 Speaker 1: We're having fun in there and yeah, five stars. 913 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,520 Speaker 2: We'll see you on Friday. I hope you like the 914 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:07,520 Speaker 2: new little content change. 915 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, let us know in the Facebook group. Yeah, it's 916 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,600 Speaker 1: literally like we will one hundred percent see it. 917 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:18,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, we're doing it for you hopefully. It's engaging, slow intellectual, 918 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:20,680 Speaker 2: taking all the boxes so you get a good listen. 919 00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:21,160 Speaker 3: We love you. 920 00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:22,840 Speaker 1: Bye,