WEBVTT - #1944 15 Things I Want You To Know - Harps 0:00:00.520 --> 0:00:04.800 I get again. I hope you're great. Happy Sunday if 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:06.680 you're listening to this on the day it comes out, 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:12.639 Happy Sunday or insert the day of your choice, whatever 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:16.799 day it is. So at Saturday night, it is. What 0:00:16.960 --> 0:00:20.080 is it? I'm squinting because my eyes are sixty one, 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:25.200 as is the rest of me. It's the nineteenth of July. 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:29.600 It's six seventeen in the PM. It's been a big day. 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:32.960 By the way, thanks for sticking around all of you 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:34.519 over the years. A lot of you been here for 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:37.600 a long time. We're stumbling like a piss bloke and 0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:40.560 a bar towards two thousand episodes. Some of them been good, 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:43.160 some of them great, some of them shit. It's been 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:47.360 a steep learning curve, I'll say that. And you are 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.400 many of you have been very loyal for a long time, 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:56.600 so I appreciate that. Now, before I get too sloppy, 0:00:59.440 --> 0:01:02.680 I wanted to share with you some By the way, 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:05.120 for the rest of the week, we've got lots of 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:08.119 great guests. But tonight I want to well, whenever you're 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:10.120 hearing this, but tonight for me, I want to share 0:01:10.120 --> 0:01:14.120 with you just some stuff. I think that it's important 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:16.560 that we all know stuff that I didn't know at 0:01:16.640 --> 0:01:18.800 one stage of my life, and either somebody taught me, 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:22.880 or I learned, or life taught me, or experience or 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:26.319 the situation unfolded before my eyes, and there it was 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:29.640 the lesson me being the perpetual student or trying to 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:36.440 be life being the ultimate classroom, and every experience and 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:40.360 every person and every situation and every problem and every 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:45.440 outcome is a potential teacher. And while that sounds cheesy, 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:48.400 it's also very true. It's also very true. So I 0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:51.240 want to share with you some things that I think 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:57.960 are just handy and potentially powerful and transformational. I'm not 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:00.240 going to go into great detail, because I don't this 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:02.520 is to be a one and a half hour extravaganza, 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:06.240 so I'm going to keep it concise and just give you. 0:02:07.000 --> 0:02:09.280 Actually wrote at the top of my page ten things 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:11.120 I want you to know, and then I proceeded to 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:15.680 write down fucking seventeen or something anyway, so I don't 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:18.760 know how many it is, but i'll probably the title 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:20.840 will probably be fifteen things I want you to know, 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:22.600 but don't count them because I think there's going to 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:27.400 be more at no extra cost. So things I think 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:30.840 are important for all of us to know. And this 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:33.920 might be something you might want to share with somebody 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:37.480 in your life or your world or your orbit that 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:40.440 you think it would be good for them to know this. 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:43.320 So one of the things we're always dealing with as 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:49.000 humans is disappointment, among many other things, of course, but 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:53.679 disappointment is interesting because, like many things, it is an 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:58.160 individual response. So that's an internal thing, an individual response. 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:02.400 I am disappointed, I feel this disappointed, I got disappointed. 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:09.000 I'm having a disappointing experience or moment. And that internal 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:14.760 response is generally a byproduct of, or we think it's 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:18.920 because of something happening in our external world. So something 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:22.080 happened around us or to us, or despite us or 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:24.880 because of us, there was a result, there was an 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:28.919 outcome we didn't want. Somebody did something or said something, 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:33.360 or didn't do something or didn't say something, and the 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:37.440 byproduct of that was disappointment. And I guess one of 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:40.960 the classics is that we many of us, get disappointed 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:45.680 by the same person often, and we know that the 0:03:45.680 --> 0:03:50.680 best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. So I 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:53.440 wrote quite a sweary post about this, which I won't 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:56.440 repeat on here, but a sweary post about this, alluding 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:59.320 to the fact that if Brian behaved a certain way 0:03:59.400 --> 0:04:03.280 the last four or one hundred times, all three or 0:04:03.320 --> 0:04:06.800 two hundred or even fifty times. But if Brian or 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:10.360 whomever behaved a certain way, acted a certain way, treated 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:12.840 you a certain way, spoke to you a certain way 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:18.720 the last however many times, then more than likely he's 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:20.680 going to do that. He's going to be that, he's 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:22.160 going to talk like that, he's going to be a 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:26.479 version of that this time. So one of the curious 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.800 things about us is each time Brian, whoever Brian is, 0:04:30.600 --> 0:04:34.040 does that thing, even though he's done it one hundred 0:04:34.040 --> 0:04:39.640 times in a row, we still somehow get disappointed because, 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:45.440 although it's understandable, we want him to be different. But 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:50.680 expecting him to be different based on his history is 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:56.120 not a logical expectation. It's an irrational expectation based on 0:04:56.640 --> 0:05:01.120 an emotion. That is, we feel that he should or 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:05.200 we want him to. It's not based on rationale or logic. Right, 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:11.159 So the disappointment comes from our expectation, not so much 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:16.120 of his in this example behavior. So disappointment is a 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:21.000 byproduct of my expectations and yours not their behavior. We 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:24.040 know that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:27.440 So that doesn't mean when I expect someone who's treated 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:30.919 me poorly the last hundred times, when I expect that 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:33.520 to happen, or I expect them to be rude, I 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:36.720 expect them to be inconsiderate, I expect them to be thoughtless, 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:39.680 I expect them to be selfish. That doesn't mean I'm 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:42.200 condoning it. That doesn't mean I like it or I 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:48.880 support it. It just means that I'm aware and I'm practical, 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:54.840 and I'm realistic that this guy or this girl, this person, 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:58.279 this individual that's behaved a certain way probably is not 0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:01.960 going to be different today. The point of knowing this, well, 0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:05.239 the real value in knowing this is that it stops 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:11.919 us getting disappointed repeatedly. Like I said, expecting somebody to 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:16.680 be how they've been is logical. Expecting them to probably 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:21.720 be rude or thoughtless or inconsider it is not what 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:28.000 we want. We don't want that, but we intellectually can 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:30.600 understand that that's probably what's coming. And so that's really 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:37.240 a self protection mechanism or practice. Number two is and 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:40.200 I've spoken about this a bit, so thing I want 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:43.599 you to know too. People are going to be bothered 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:49.680 some people by your success. I spoke about a thing 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:51.960 once or twice on the show, and I've written about 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:58.360 it called schadenfreuder, which is a German word, not surprisingly 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:04.719 sharden or schadenfreut, And it just means that some people 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:11.520 enjoy your pain. You're suffering your failure some people and 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:14.920 will go into this at some stage perhaps but not tonight, 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:19.200 not today. Some people take delight in seeing you fail. 0:07:20.760 --> 0:07:26.560 And also conversely, some people are really bothered when you succeed. 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:30.440 So one they're happy when you fail, and two they're 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:34.400 unhappy when you succeed. And I wouldn't call myself a 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:40.320 raving success story, but I've done enough cool things and 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:43.160 I'm very and there's no ego in this because I've 0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:46.320 fucked up more than i've won in inverted commas. But 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:49.320 I've had some wins, and I've succeeded with some things, 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:54.239 and I've done for my very mediocre and insignificant level 0:07:54.280 --> 0:08:00.040 of talent. I've done alright. And I'm well aware of 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:04.120 numerous people that used to be but are not anymore 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:11.080 in my orbit. That really, let's just say the emotion 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:14.440 that they had around my success or me doing well 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:18.720 or me getting or building or creating something that worked, 0:08:20.400 --> 0:08:25.800 and opportunities that I created, and that really fucking bothered people. 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:28.360 And I mean, I shouldn't say what I'm going to say, 0:08:28.360 --> 0:08:32.040 but fucking I'm going to say, leanin. I would love 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:37.000 to do a whole podcast on this because and it 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:40.960 happens to many people, but the amount of people that 0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:45.400 have been bothered and I could name names. I would 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:48.280 never name names, of course, but I find it fucking 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:56.400 hilarious and interesting and fascinating that, you know, the the 0:08:56.400 --> 0:09:00.520 the amount of people that do not want you to 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:03.560 do well. Of course, there are people that do want 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:06.240 you to do well, let's not make this too negative, 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:10.320 but also a surprising number of people who are bothered 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:12.880 by your success. So that's nothing to worry about, nothing 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:15.720 to dread, nothing lose sleep over, just something to be 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:18.720 aware of. And of course there will always be amazing, 0:09:18.840 --> 0:09:22.080 hopefully in your life, amazing, beautiful, kind people who want 0:09:22.120 --> 0:09:26.400 the best for you, irrespective of what's going on in 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:29.240 their life. All right, next thing, I want you to know, 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:31.480 you know what I'm going to say, So I'm not 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:33.160 going to dwell on this or you don't know what 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:34.800 I'm going to say, but you've heard me say this, 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:38.439 and that is that people don't think like you. Now, 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:42.520 when I say that, I mean some people might think 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:46.400 similarly to you, But nobody's thinking like you twenty four 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:49.120 to seven. Nobody's looking through the you lens. Nobody is 0:09:49.200 --> 0:09:53.280 experiencing or dissecting or interpreting the world and all the 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:57.120 events of that world. They're not. They don't have your 0:09:57.240 --> 0:09:59.840 data processor, they don't have your brain, they don't have 0:09:59.880 --> 0:10:02.640 you your mind. They don't have your values and beliefs 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:07.400 and ideas and culture and experiences and history. So people 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:11.679 don't think like you, or they don't think Probably they 0:10:11.679 --> 0:10:15.679 don't think the same. Some people will think similarly, of course, 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:18.040 And that's why, by the way, that's how we end 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:21.439 up in all these different thought cults, because we love 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:24.960 to gravitate towards people who think like us. That's why 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:30.640 echo chambers exist. That's why behavioral and sociological and cultural 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:35.000 and religious cults exist, where we just hang out in 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:41.719 groups and rooms where people are you know, telling us 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:44.319 basically whatever we think is right, and we're doing the 0:10:44.400 --> 0:10:47.640 same to them. But in general terms, when we're out 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:50.680 and about It's called the false consensus effect. By the way, 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:55.000 when we think that what is coming out of our mouth, 0:10:55.120 --> 0:11:00.240 for example, our intention will be that person's experience. I 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:04.160 think this, therefore they will think this. That's an erroneous assumption. 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:09.000 It's an interpersonal faux pa. It's a fuck up. And 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:13.439 assuming that people think like you when we're just in general, 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:20.400 life creates interpersonal issues, confusion, disconnection, conflict, offense, misunderstanding, and 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:25.600 a myriad of shit that you don't want. So assume 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:31.080 that they might not think like you a little bit 0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:36.280 through to they think nothing like you. Don't assume that 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:40.120 they're picking up what you're putting down. Next thing. I 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:46.760 want you to know the enlightened goal. The enlightened goal 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:53.080 is not to be perpetually happy. I feel like happiness 0:11:53.280 --> 0:12:02.040 is held up as as the ultimate achievement. And of 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:06.440 course happiness is great. I recommend it, I use and 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:11.320 recommend happiness. But I don't think. I don't think the 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:16.760 goal of happiness or continuous happiness or you know, this 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:22.040 never ending series of happy moments and days and encounters. 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:25.560 Not only do I not think, I know it's not 0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:29.480 it's not realistic. It's not practical. I think a much 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:32.920 more enlightened goal, or a much wiser goal, or practical 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:37.160 or achievable goal is to one to embrace that happiness 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:41.559 and embrace those moments of joy and navana and all 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:44.720 of that when it's around. But I think more importantly 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.880 to be really practical and go, you know what, life 0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:51.920 is peaks and troughs. Life is light and shade. It's 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:54.640 black and white. It's good stuff, it's bad stuff. It's 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:58.760 it's tragedy, it's triumph, it's sadness, it's joy. So I 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:02.319 think our real challenge, our ultimate goal, is to be 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:08.280 able to successfully navigate all of that, to successfully navigate 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:12.800 the peaks and the troughs of being a human, you know, 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:16.800 and all the inevitable stuff that comes with that. And 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:19.600 if we're happy and joyful and things have gone great, 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:23.000 and if we're calm, and if we're in a beautiful place, 0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:26.240 that's amazing. But if we wake up tomorrow and we 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:28.839 feel like dogshit, or we're a bit anxious, or we're 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:31.080 a bit sad or a bit flat, or we don't 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:35.000 have the same level of motivation, or we're not flying 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:38.720 on the happiness cloud, that's okay too. Because that means 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:43.680 you're human. That means you're normal, and that's all of us. 0:13:44.040 --> 0:13:49.520 That's all of us. I've never met a person, and 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:53.439 I've met lots who's perpetually happy. I've met some people 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:56.480 that are happy a lot, and I've met some people 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:59.840 that are atypically happier than others. And I've met some 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:02.160 people who are sad a lot and flat a lot. Right, 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:07.199 But I've never met anyone who's twenty four to seven happy. 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:12.400 So I don't know that happiness as a goal is 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:18.880 a great goal. I think perhaps being functional and operational 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:29.240 and okay and accepting and what's the other word I 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:33.080 guess they'll do in the middle of the peaks and troughs. 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:36.960 I think that's the goal, is navigating the tough stuff 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:41.280 and being alright with it. Okay. My next one is this, 0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:44.960 It is very Craig Harper. Life doesn't care about your feelings. 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:49.400 Life's not fair. And I know that seems like maybe 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:55.880 an unnecessary thing to say, but it's kind of a 0:14:56.040 --> 0:15:02.360 silly like when we it's almost like we anthropomorphize, that is, 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:06.520 humanize life, whereas life is what is life, Life is, 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:10.640 life is eighty years, Life is eighty five years. Life 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:17.800 is this myriad of ongoing events and happenings and situations 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:21.240 and circumstances and good and bad. And it's like life 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:25.760 is not a conscious entity, that's you know, watching you. 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:34.200 And so this idea that life's not fair, well, no shit, 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:39.200 I mean, but again, is that life being unfair or 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:45.000 is that just the human experience? Of course, some kids 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:49.280 get cancer. Of course, some bad people live till their 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:53.280 ninety five. Bad things happen to good people, good things 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:57.760 happen to bad people. Some people work really fucking hard 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.880 and it doesn't pay off. Some people are born with 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:06.520 phenomenal talent. Some people are born with a silver spoon 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:09.360 in their mouth. They've got all the re sources, all 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.119 the dough, they've got the cheer squad, they've got the situation, 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:15.480 they've got the home, they've got the private school education. 0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:19.480 If that stuff matters, not sure. But of course people 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:24.760 are born into different situations and so kind of investing energy, 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:28.040 by the way, feeling that life's not fair or you know, 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:31.160 life doesn't care. I don't think this is a terrible thing. 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:33.640 I just think it's not a good use of your energy. 0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:35.800 It's not a good use of your time. It's a 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.520 fucking pointless conversation. The amount of people will going, Oh, 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:43.160 life's not fair. Yep, sure, next, So in the middle 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:45.280 of the unfairness of life, what are you going to do? 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:48.880 I mean, this is the challenge. Like, we know that 0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:52.000 life is messy, and life is unfair, and life is 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:55.880 peaks and troughs and all the stuff that I said before. 0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:58.280 Good things happens to bad people, and bad things happen 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:00.680 to good people, all that shit. But really the question is, 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:02.360 in the middle of all of that stuff that you 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:07.119 and I can't control and didn't choose and don't determine, 0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:08.879 in the middle of all of the stuff that we 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:13.000 can't control, what is it that you and I can control? 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:16.200 And what are you and I going to do about that? 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:19.720 The next thing I want you to know, and this 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:22.760 is this is just something to think about. This is 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:25.240 not a revelation, but you'll never have more time in 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:29.680 your life than you do the moment that you are 0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:35.560 hearing these words. Now, think about every moment that passes by. 0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:41.080 And this is not being fatalistic, but every moment, every minute, 0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:44.720 every hour, every day, every week, month, year, is you 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:48.040 moving closer towards the finish line. And that's okay. That's 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:52.560 nothing to be terrified. That's something to acknowledge. I did 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:55.320 a podcast the other day called The Home Straight when 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:57.840 I spoke about my own mortality and I went, well, 0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:02.199 I'm sixty two in September. I'm probably will put it 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:05.560 this way, if I'm the average Australian male in terms 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:09.680 of life expectancy, I'm past the three quarter mark. I'm 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:12.639 seventy five percent done. I'm well and truly on the 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:15.920 home straight. I mean I could live three more years 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:19.000 or three more decades, or less or more. I'm not sure, 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:25.480 but I know that for me at sixty one heading 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:31.479 towards sixty two, to sit around with my fucking hands 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:35.520 under my thighs waiting for the mystical, magical, mythical right 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:39.360 time to do stuff or to make a decision, or 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:43.760 to address that issue, or to have that conversation or 0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:47.600 to address that shitty habit or and on and on 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:50.800 and on. It's like I will never have more time. 0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:56.280 My time is only diminishing. You will never have more time. 0:18:56.840 --> 0:19:00.280 Your clock is ticking down every day. That it's not 0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:03.119 something to worry about. That's something to be aware of 0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:06.320 and say all right, knowing that my time is ticking down, 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:09.800 knowing that this today is the most time that I'm 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:11.959 going to have for the rest of my life. Tomorrow 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:15.040 it will be a day less. Right, What are you 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:17.760 going to do with that? Because I feel like some 0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:23.639 of us just have the mindset that I'm always going 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:26.720 to have time. I don't need to do it now. 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:28.800 I can put off. I can put it off. And truly, 0:19:28.880 --> 0:19:30.679 some people have been saying a version of that for 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:36.520 ten years. I reckon some people more, some people more. So, 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:38.320 You're never going to have more time than you have now. 0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:44.159 Next thing I want you to know is this, you 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:50.720 don't lack potential. You don't lack potential. I've never never 0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:56.360 met a person who doesn't have potential. Some people have more, 0:19:56.440 --> 0:19:59.320 some people have less. But I've never met a person 0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:04.520 with zero potential to do, be, create or change something, 0:20:05.000 --> 0:20:08.879 to achieve, something, to move the needle on, something to 0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:12.000 do better on, something, to change their body in some way, 0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:14.840 to change their lifestyle, their life, their habits, their thinking, 0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:18.960 their behavior. Every person I've ever met has some potential, 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:23.480 some maybe a little bit, maybe a fuck load that 0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:27.879 they are not exploiting. For me, I truly believe, and 0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:31.480 this is one of my passions, which is why I 0:20:31.520 --> 0:20:37.920 am so committed to helping people to understand their own possibilities, power, 0:20:37.960 --> 0:20:41.000 and potential. I believe the problem is that most people 0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:45.360 don't understand how much potential they have. One. So that's 0:20:45.400 --> 0:20:48.880 problem number one. Problem number one is they don't understand 0:20:48.880 --> 0:20:52.240 how much potential they have. Problem number two is they 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:59.240 may have been around people who somewhat eroded their self 0:20:59.240 --> 0:21:02.720 belief and confidence. Right, that's cool, we've all had a 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:08.040 bit of that. Move on. That's number two. Number three 0:21:08.400 --> 0:21:14.280 is the shit that we really need to do to 0:21:15.240 --> 0:21:18.440 move the needle and to tap into that and exploit 0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:23.800 that potential is quite often going to be uncomfortably and 0:21:23.840 --> 0:21:28.520 convenient and painful, right, all things we don't want. So 0:21:29.560 --> 0:21:33.600 I've never met you most of you listening to this personally, 0:21:33.680 --> 0:21:36.879 I've never met you. Some of you have, but I 0:21:36.920 --> 0:21:42.560 would be extremely surprised. In fact, i'd be in fact, 0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:46.800 I wouldn't believe it. If you have zero potential left 0:21:46.840 --> 0:21:52.680 to exploit, I would be absolutely dumbfounded. That doesn't mean 0:21:52.720 --> 0:21:55.320 we can all do everything. Doesn't mean that I can't 0:21:55.400 --> 0:21:57.000 go you know what, I'm going to run a marathon 0:21:57.040 --> 0:21:59.359 in two hours. I'm going to run one hundred meters 0:21:59.359 --> 0:22:02.439 in ten second. Look out, gout, gout, I'm fucking coming 0:22:02.480 --> 0:22:05.160 for you. That's not happening, right. We know that I'm 0:22:05.200 --> 0:22:09.080 not going to win a Grammy. I'm fucking singing. There's 0:22:09.119 --> 0:22:11.000 a bunch of shit I can't do. But do I 0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:14.320 at sixty one, the bloke who's done a whole lot 0:22:14.320 --> 0:22:17.119 of stuff and really pushes himself. Do I still have 0:22:17.200 --> 0:22:20.199 potential that I haven't used or exploited or opened the 0:22:20.200 --> 0:22:24.520 door on? Yes? I do. So if crusty old Jumbo can, 0:22:25.240 --> 0:22:29.200 then so can you. The next thing I want you 0:22:29.280 --> 0:22:32.280 to know, and you know this, but this is just 0:22:32.320 --> 0:22:34.879 a thing to be aware of, so I'll be brief. 0:22:35.720 --> 0:22:39.760 I want you to remember day to day that you 0:22:39.920 --> 0:22:42.400 think the way that you do, You behave the way 0:22:42.440 --> 0:22:44.560 that you do, you see the world the way that 0:22:44.600 --> 0:22:48.320 you do. You maybe have the ideas and beliefs and 0:22:48.480 --> 0:22:52.880 values that you do, at least in part, because you've 0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:59.120 been programmed. Since you could think, since you could process data, 0:22:59.160 --> 0:23:02.760 since you could interpret the world around you and people 0:23:02.800 --> 0:23:07.720 around you, and the various stimuli media, social media, book, school, friends, family, 0:23:07.800 --> 0:23:11.639 all that you have been programmed. You've been influenced and 0:23:11.920 --> 0:23:16.800 possibly manipulated, possibly controlled up to this point in time, 0:23:17.280 --> 0:23:20.320 and you're still being programmed by all the stuff that 0:23:20.480 --> 0:23:25.479 you pay attention to. Me too, Am I influenced and 0:23:25.640 --> 0:23:30.800 somewhat programmed or affected by everything I listen to, I watch, 0:23:31.040 --> 0:23:34.120 I read, I pay attention to. Of course I am. 0:23:34.240 --> 0:23:37.960 You know why because brains and minds are very programmable. 0:23:39.720 --> 0:23:42.359 Now if I think, oh, no, I'm not, I'm not 0:23:42.480 --> 0:23:48.080 influenced by that. I'm completely objective, I'm completely totally independent 0:23:48.160 --> 0:23:51.359 in my critical thinking. Well, one I'm lying to you, Two, 0:23:51.440 --> 0:23:55.560 I'm full of shit, and three it's not possible. So 0:23:55.840 --> 0:23:59.520 it's not that we're trying to undo all the programming. 0:23:59.560 --> 0:24:02.399 It's that we're trying to be aware of the programming, 0:24:03.000 --> 0:24:07.479 which for us is self limiting. What's the thing that 0:24:07.560 --> 0:24:10.680 I've learned in inverted commas that's fucking me up, that's 0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:14.680 getting in my way, that's inhibiting my thought processes. That's 0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:18.840 a form of self sabotage. The next thing I want 0:24:18.880 --> 0:24:20.879 you to know that not a lot of us think about, 0:24:21.280 --> 0:24:25.840 is that your brain. Your brain. Okay, So what I'm 0:24:25.840 --> 0:24:29.240 about to share with you is broscience, but it's essentially true. 0:24:29.400 --> 0:24:32.560 Your brain is kind of like your biceps, or your glutes, 0:24:32.640 --> 0:24:36.040 or your CODs, or your deltoids or your triceps in 0:24:36.080 --> 0:24:41.159 that in that your brain needs to be worked out 0:24:41.560 --> 0:24:44.679 if you want it to work well as you age, 0:24:44.840 --> 0:24:49.000 If you want your brain to function well, to be 0:24:49.240 --> 0:24:52.760 in inverted commas, if you want it to be strong 0:24:52.880 --> 0:24:59.280 and functional and operational and adaptable and resilient, just like 0:24:59.359 --> 0:25:01.800 you want your muscles to be as you get older, 0:25:02.320 --> 0:25:05.040 so that you can be healthy and functional as you 0:25:05.119 --> 0:25:08.000 move into your sixties, seventies, eighties, or fifties or whatever. 0:25:08.960 --> 0:25:12.760 Your brain needs to be trained. You need to. You know, 0:25:12.840 --> 0:25:15.119 one of the funny things that I see, not funny 0:25:15.200 --> 0:25:21.639 sad things is that you know, people who will either 0:25:21.880 --> 0:25:25.760 do no exercise at all have a completely unhealthy life style, 0:25:26.600 --> 0:25:28.520 and not only do they not do anything for their 0:25:28.560 --> 0:25:31.280 body or their brain, but they actually do things to 0:25:31.480 --> 0:25:35.159 their body which fucks up their brain, like alcohol like booze, 0:25:35.320 --> 0:25:41.480 like drugs, like inadequate sleep, like not managing you know, stress, 0:25:41.520 --> 0:25:43.639 and all of these things. Some are harder than others 0:25:43.720 --> 0:25:47.720 to address. I know, but your brain needs to be 0:25:47.800 --> 0:25:51.760 looked after. And because we don't see it in inverted commas, 0:25:51.800 --> 0:25:53.920 like we see our ass or we see our arms, 0:25:54.000 --> 0:25:57.879 or we see our whatever, we tend not to worry 0:25:57.920 --> 0:26:01.280 about it, or perhaps worry is not the right word, 0:26:01.320 --> 0:26:08.639 but concern ourselves with its health. Your brain will decline. 0:26:09.359 --> 0:26:12.639 That's not a maybe, that's a definite. Your brain will decline. 0:26:13.640 --> 0:26:16.640 Your cognitive function will go down, your memory will go down, 0:26:16.680 --> 0:26:20.520 your mental acuity will drop, your focus will go down. 0:26:21.160 --> 0:26:28.560 Your ability to solve problems will decrease. But here's the butt. 0:26:29.480 --> 0:26:34.800 When that happens, and how quickly that happens, and to 0:26:34.920 --> 0:26:40.199 what level that happens is something that you can manipulate. 0:26:43.320 --> 0:26:45.199 I've said this many times, and I don't want to 0:26:45.240 --> 0:26:48.879 bore you, but and I can't prove this or measure it, 0:26:48.920 --> 0:26:52.479 but hopefully you trust me. I feel like at sixty 0:26:52.520 --> 0:26:54.800 one my brain works at least as well as when 0:26:54.840 --> 0:26:58.760 I was thirty. I could be wrong, but I'm very 0:26:58.840 --> 0:27:02.080 grateful that I'm doing things like this, where I am 0:27:02.160 --> 0:27:04.600