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Speaker 1: I'll get ada, Bloody Champions. Welcome to another installment of

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Speaker 1: the You Project. And when I say the You Project,

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Speaker 1: not really, well it is, but it isn't. Every now

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Speaker 1: and then I do what's called a co share, where

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Speaker 1: I've been on someone else's show and we do this

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Speaker 1: the other way around to where they've been on my show.

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Speaker 2: But I was.

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Speaker 1: Recently on Josh Pitterman. Josh Pitterman, Me Me, me me,

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Speaker 1: you know miserab and Phantom of the Opera and that

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Speaker 1: world famous, famous or famous even singer, that Australian product too.

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Speaker 1: He and I have become good friends anyway. He's got

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Speaker 1: a amazing podcast called Behind the Mask, Behind the Mask,

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Speaker 1: you know, Phantom of the Opera, Mask, all that shit. Yep,

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Speaker 1: Sure I didn't need to explain that, Okay. Bianca Chatfield,

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Speaker 1: who's also a friend of mine, who played Neddie for

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Speaker 1: Australia Australian Diamonds. She was vice captain, she played a

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Speaker 1: million tests, she won Bloody, Commonwealth Games and World Champs

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Speaker 1: and she's a superstar. Anyway, Bianca and myself were on

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Speaker 1: Josh's show recently.

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Speaker 2: It went for a long time. One for a long time.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to say he's chatty, she's chatty, I'm chatty.

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Speaker 1: It was a very verbose experience all round, and we

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Speaker 1: spoke about success. We did a deep dive of success

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Speaker 1: is different things for different people. Different for the fantom

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Speaker 1: of the opera to the elite ex athlete now media

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Speaker 1: personality and the ex fat kid from Latrobalu who's trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out what the fuck he's doing. All different.

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Speaker 1: But it was a really interesting conversation. So I've decided

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Speaker 1: to take that very long conversation and chop it in

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Speaker 1: two to create two installments of the project for your edification,

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Speaker 1: for your uplifting. Anyway, here it is have a good day.

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Speaker 3: My guest today, I know strangers to success. The anchor.

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Speaker 3: Chatfield is the former vice captain of the Australian women's

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Speaker 3: netball team, the Diamonds. She won gold medals at the

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Speaker 3: Commonwealth Games and the World Netball Championships. Since retiring, she's

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Speaker 3: gone on to do many things, a role as a

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Speaker 3: keynote speaker, she was a contestant on the Block and

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Speaker 3: she commentates on Fox Sports. Craig Harper is one of

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Speaker 3: Australia's most renowned leaders in health, high performance, corporate change

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Speaker 3: and personal transformation. He founded, owned and ran Harper's Personal

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Speaker 3: Training for over twenty five years, which I believe is

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Speaker 3: the first personal training studio in the country. He is

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Speaker 3: also a renowned keynote speaker. Craig has become a dear

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Speaker 3: friend of mine and a great mentor. He's an exercise

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Speaker 3: scientist who you may have seen on radio and television

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Speaker 3: over many, many years, and he's just about to complete

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Speaker 3: his PhD in neuropsychology. Just add that to the mix

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Speaker 3: of successes. But as we know, success is often in

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Speaker 3: the eyes of the beholder, who knows what's going on

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Speaker 3: behind the mask of seemingly successful people. So with the

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Speaker 3: help of Harps and chatters, we're going to go behind

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Speaker 3: the mask of success. Welcome to the show, guys.

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Speaker 4: Love your work, Thank you true.

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Speaker 1: How did he do that all in one bloody, beautiful

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Speaker 1: foul swoop, without autocure.

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Speaker 3: Without well just stuffed it up twice before? Well, you

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Speaker 3: saw I had a couple of false stars.

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Speaker 2: You saw Coldplay last night. You're a bit seedy. Let's

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Speaker 2: be honest. How was it?

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Speaker 3: It was epic? That so epic?

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Speaker 2: What do you love about him?

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Speaker 1: And what did you love about the experience all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, it's my show.

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Speaker 3: You're welcome podcast.

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Speaker 2: Well you said, let's just make it a chat. I'm

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Speaker 2: just following instructions.

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Speaker 3: You're off air before he went on air. It's the

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Speaker 3: the very very thin veil between his persona and the

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Speaker 3: and the person between the performer, between the mask and

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Speaker 3: the soul behind the mask. He's just he leads with

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Speaker 3: his hearts. I mean, guys, it's just so authentic, Like

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Speaker 3: it's just you feel like you have a gateway into

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Speaker 3: this guy's heart and his talent and all of that.

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Speaker 3: But in the process, he creates a oneness. And I

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Speaker 3: think that's what you know in a world is so

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Speaker 3: separate and so divided and has so much tunics, so

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Speaker 3: much duality. Are you you know? Are you positive or negative?

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Speaker 3: Are you Trump or Paris? Are you this or that? Like,

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Speaker 3: he removes the separate, the twoness, the separateness, and he

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Speaker 3: finds the oneness. And so fifty five thousand people all

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Speaker 3: become one with him, and that is a beautiful power

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Speaker 3: to be able to have and because we need that

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Speaker 3: one this because it's that's love, you know, And ultimately

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Speaker 3: it's love that coalesce is the universe, so we need

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Speaker 3: to feel that, we need to feel out more than

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Speaker 3: ever at the moment. So he's such a good conduit,

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Speaker 3: an amazing conduit for love.

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Speaker 5: And you know, I got that experience. I think when

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Speaker 5: I went to Taylor Swift earlier this year. I mean, Craiger,

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Speaker 5: you would have been at Taylor.

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Speaker 4: I'm sure.

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Speaker 1: I love a bit of I mean clearly they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: someone bought their granddad awesome.

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Speaker 5: Going into the MCG, which is obviously usually sport. It's

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Speaker 5: usually two different teams or two different countries playing against

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Speaker 5: each other in cricket, And for me what resonated the most.

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Speaker 5: I wasn't a massive Taylor Swift fan beforehand, but being

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Speaker 5: able to go into the ground and experience every single

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Speaker 5: person in that ground just there was just so much

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Speaker 5: joy and so much love, and everyone was on the

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Speaker 5: same team and everybody just wanted to go there to

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Speaker 5: have the most positive experience. And I was learning from

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Speaker 5: all these little girls who were trying to trade their

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Speaker 5: friendship bracelets with you, and there was just kind of

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Speaker 5: no hierarchy at all. It was just everyone was there

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Speaker 5: to experience this moment in time, and I.

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Speaker 4: Really felt it. I walked away.

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Speaker 5: I do some work with the MCG, and I walked

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Speaker 5: away from that and said, every single person who is

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Speaker 5: on you know, the trust, the MCG trust with me

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Speaker 5: had to realize that this was a real game changing

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Speaker 5: moment for at Victoria. I think and what we use

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Speaker 5: the ground for, because it's far more than just something

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Speaker 5: that we go and watch sport for. It's far more

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Speaker 5: than something entertainment like. It's actually these life changing moments

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Speaker 5: and these beautiful connections that we can bring everybody by

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Speaker 5: having people like Taylor Swift play at that venue and

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Speaker 5: so many hundreds, you know, one hundred thousand people can

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Speaker 5: go in there and enjoy that experience altogether. And it

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Speaker 5: wasn't about alcohol, It wasn't about you know, what you

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Speaker 5: could kind of how much you could dream, just to

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Speaker 5: have a good time. Everyone was just high on life

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Speaker 5: and it was just amazing to experience.

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Speaker 3: I just want to speak to that and continue on

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Speaker 3: that thread of oneness and two neis. We're used to

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Speaker 3: a venue like the MCG being a place for positive tunis.

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Speaker 3: You know, are you going for Brizzy or going for

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Speaker 3: the swamps and the Grand Fronte like ye, there's one

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Speaker 3: or the other are you going for OSSI's are you

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Speaker 3: going for India this summer? And cricket, But it's that

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Speaker 3: space can also be a place for amazing oneness and

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Speaker 3: music is a vehicle for oneness, like because we're all

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Speaker 3: feeling into the same same thing. So I think these

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Speaker 3: meeting grounds, these amazing meeting spaces that have been meeting

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Speaker 3: spaces for you know, many many, many thousands of years,

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Speaker 3: they were originally meeting spaces for oneness. And it's the connection.

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Speaker 5: Age is irrelevant, Like it's you know, dads and their

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Speaker 5: daughters and moms and their kids, and you know older

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Speaker 5: generations and younger generations and everyone just coming together and

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Speaker 5: experiencing something together.

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Speaker 3: It's so powerful, which just needs so much more that

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Speaker 3: it's not about anything but music, Like it's all.

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Speaker 1: It's like this convergence of diversity and unity. It's like

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Speaker 1: this myriad of different people, different cultures, backgrounds, religious shape sizes, genders, sexuality, preferences, likes,

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Speaker 1: dislikes all in one joint and all it's got to

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Speaker 1: do with is the experience and the music, and so

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Speaker 1: all the other stuff becomes redundant, All the stuff that

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Speaker 1: we obsess about the Wii that the macro Wii. Who

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Speaker 1: do you vote for? Who do you barrack for? What

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Speaker 1: do you wear? What do you Why you eat meat?

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Speaker 1: You don't eat meat? You none of that matters, you know,

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Speaker 1: And to I think, to be able to bring that

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Speaker 1: energy and to be in a place for whatever it

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Speaker 1: was three hours where nothing matters but that, it's like

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Speaker 1: there's something to be learned from that, oh, you know.

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Speaker 3: And the presence of it, you know, something to be

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Speaker 3: learned in that too, Like it's it's you know, it's

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Speaker 3: very much. You know, where are you here? What time

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Speaker 3: is it now? And that's that's that's so important. So

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Speaker 3: there's no anxieties, there's no fears, there's no worries, there's

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Speaker 3: no ship going on in instruction, there's no distractions except

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Speaker 3: there was one moment where Chris Martin said, okay, everyone

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Speaker 3: turned off your phone, phones away, phones away, and guy.

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Speaker 6: I love how we just did that, all right, you

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Speaker 6: fucking and the guy in front of me, like, everyone

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Speaker 6: put their phone away, and it was just this sort

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Speaker 6: of really connect into the now sort of moment.

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Speaker 3: He was sort of leading a meditation of sorts through

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Speaker 3: a song, and one guy in front of me just

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Speaker 3: put his phone up, and I was like, turn your

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Speaker 3: fucking phone off, put it down. I was just that guy,

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Speaker 3: just just like screaming at him, and and he did

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Speaker 3: for a second, and then then that addiction just came

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Speaker 3: back and he's like, no, I need the phone. I

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Speaker 3: can't I can't do without the phone. It's the one

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Speaker 3: thing that pisses me off.

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Speaker 4: What do people do with the footage.

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Speaker 3: Like stuff on the Graham?

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Speaker 5: But is it like good quality footage or do you

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Speaker 5: post the footage because it's like, I was there, I

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Speaker 5: want to kind of note that this is my moment

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Speaker 5: in time I was there.

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Speaker 3: I mean, is it like, isn't the gram grid just

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Speaker 3: like a you know, this is this.

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Speaker 2: Moment photo album. Yeah, yes, that's kind of what it is.

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Speaker 5: But I mean, like when you're experiencing that actual concert,

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Speaker 5: it's funny that we all take all this footage.

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Speaker 4: I do it too. I'm certainly I'm part of it.

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Speaker 5: And it makes me laugh because you go back and

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Speaker 5: watch it and you think, what was I even thinking?

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Speaker 5: I can't even see half the stuff that I was

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Speaker 5: seeing in real life when I was there.

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Speaker 1: It did.

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Speaker 3: I've watched a little bit this morning. It did sort

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Speaker 3: of just take me back to the moment and every

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Speaker 3: experience of the feelings that you feel in the moments.

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Speaker 3: I think I think there is a there is a

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Speaker 3: place for it. But I also think there's a place

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Speaker 3: for putting the phone away and just like being there

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Speaker 3: when I when I do gigs, I did, I did.

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Speaker 3: I done a fair few recently. I asked people to

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Speaker 3: not take footage and not not because I don't want

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Speaker 3: shit posted on you know, social media, because that's probably

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Speaker 3: really helpful. I just want them to beat, Like like

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Speaker 3: Chris Martin, I just want it to be a meditation

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Speaker 3: for them. I want them to be their present in it.

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Speaker 4: How do you go performing seeing everyone with their phones?

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Speaker 3: Ah? It just it just shits me a bit. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I think that's what it is. I just like, yeah, so,

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Speaker 3: but I'm guilty of it too, clearly. So practice what

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Speaker 3: you preached. Hey, you guys, we've we've heated up the

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Speaker 3: space with a little prologue as we as we like

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Speaker 3: to do. But I want to know, on the topic

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Speaker 3: of success growing up, what did that mean to you?

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Speaker 3: What did success mean to you? What did it? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: what did it look like to you?

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Speaker 1: I think for me it wasn't something I specifically, like

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Speaker 1: that wasn't a question.

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Speaker 2: But I think.

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Speaker 3: This is for me.

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Speaker 2: This is interesting because I talk about this stuff.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: So if you go into a room full of people

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Speaker 1: and go who wants to be a failure? Nobody goes me, right,

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Speaker 1: So everybody wants to be successful. But that represents different

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Speaker 1: things to different people, and it represents different things to

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Speaker 1: the same person over time. So if you said to me, Craig,

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Speaker 1: we're going to have you working on a gym floor,

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Speaker 1: it's going to be your gym floor, your gym, your equipment,

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Speaker 1: there's going to be a team of people there, your team,

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Speaker 1: and you're going to have all this shit going on,

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Speaker 1: I would have gone, fucking you, fuck that's amazing, and

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Speaker 1: I would have loved it, and the idea would have

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Speaker 1: excited me. And that's what I created and that's what

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Speaker 1: I inhabited, and I was very grateful and right place,

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Speaker 1: right time. A lot of things fell my way, but

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Speaker 1: I also worked really hard, and so there was a

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Speaker 1: period of time where me being in the gym doing

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Speaker 1: my thing was like ten out of ten success. I'm

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Speaker 1: in the moment, I'm loving it, ticking all the boxes.

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Speaker 1: But everything kind of has a used by date, and

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Speaker 1: then there was a period of time where I'm like, yeah, look,

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Speaker 1: it's good.

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Speaker 3: It's good, Dad, it's good.

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Speaker 1: And then you eventually get to the point, sometimes not

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Speaker 1: with all things, where you go, NA, that's enough now,

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Speaker 1: Like I've handed over enough dumbbells, I've done enough hamstring stretches,

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Speaker 1: I've set enough bike seats, I've programmed enough treadmills, I've

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Speaker 1: spoken enough about anatomy and physiology and blah blah blah

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Speaker 1: for the moment, and I want to do other stuff.

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Speaker 1: And so I think I think it's different for different people.

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Speaker 1: It's like if you said to if you said to

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Speaker 1: any one of us, three, mate, I've got a gig

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Speaker 1: for you next Monday.

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Speaker 2: It's at Vodafone Arena.

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Speaker 1: It's five thousand people, and you all of us would

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Speaker 1: be excited because we all love that shit. For most

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Speaker 1: people that would be mind blowingly terrifying. That would be

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Speaker 1: the worst news they could get. And so it's really

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Speaker 1: a subjective interpretation of a thing like to me, you know,

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Speaker 1: building connection, building rapport, helping people help them selves, that

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Speaker 1: is a form of success. You know, some people going well,

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Speaker 1: I've raised three great kids, I'm awesome. You are awesome.

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Speaker 1: That is the high watermark face. That's probably way more

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Speaker 1: important than the shit that I do. Let's be honest.

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Speaker 3: But the shit that you do helps. Yeah, so that

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Speaker 3: shit yeah not a shit?

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Speaker 1: Well yeah, but I think it's really down to it.

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Speaker 1: I say to people, put up your hand if you

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Speaker 1: want to be successful, and every hand goes up. Then

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Speaker 1: I go, cool, write down what that is and they

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Speaker 1: go what. I go, write down what that is? So

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Speaker 1: it's it's people. I don't think we define ourselves or

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Speaker 1: a success for ourselves enough. And I also think, and

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Speaker 1: I'll shut up after this, but I feel like we

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Speaker 1: live somewhat unconsciously. It's like we wake up and we go, fuck,

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Speaker 1: it was five years, this wasn't I've told this many story,

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Speaker 1: many times, but not on this show. So you know,

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Speaker 1: people will come and sit to me and they're forty five,

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Speaker 1: forty fifty thirty five and they said say to me,

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Speaker 1: this wasn't my plan, and I go, what do you mean?

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Speaker 1: They're like, where I'm at, this wasn't my plan. And

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Speaker 1: I go, can I see the plan? And they go what?

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Speaker 1: I go, the plan? Can I see it? They're like,

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Speaker 1: and I go, well, there's no fucking plan, like you

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Speaker 1: didn't have a plan, you just had an idea of

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Speaker 1: how things would work out. Because if you live unconsciously,

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Speaker 1: you're going to produce unconscious results. Like we need to

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Speaker 1: be if we say I want to live a life

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Speaker 1: aligned with my purpose and values and beliefs and faith

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Speaker 1: and who I want to be and how I want

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Speaker 1: to be, or there needs to be some strategy and

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Speaker 1: logic and accountability and timeline and process like that. Shit,

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Speaker 1: doesn't you becoming You building a world class podcast and

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Speaker 1: you growing it to where you've got a million people

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Speaker 1: per show.

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Speaker 2: That's not going to accidentally happen.

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Speaker 1: You're going to do the work, you're going to learn,

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Speaker 1: you're going to refine skill, you're going to understand the audience,

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and over time you'll build it. But

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Speaker 1: you're not going to sit here accidentally once a week

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Speaker 1: and do something and you're going to end up being

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Speaker 1: Joe Rogan.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it requires you've got to have intentionality.

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Speaker 2: One percent, and you've got it. I mean, I reckon.

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Speaker 1: The biggest barrier to success for most people is they

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Speaker 1: just don't like the work like they love the idea

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Speaker 1: of the top of the mountain, but they don't want

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Speaker 1: to fucking climb. It's like the theory of success and

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Speaker 1: the practical reality of doing what is required to succeed.

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Speaker 1: They are nothing alike because one's just a theoretical construct.

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Speaker 1: One is a motherfucker of a process that you will

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Speaker 1: probably hate half the time.

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Speaker 5: But success too also, I think it evolves definitely over time.

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Speaker 5: So when you talk about what you thought about it

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Speaker 5: when it was young, I don't think I even thought

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Speaker 5: about what it looked like or what it was what

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Speaker 5: it could be for me. But it also can be

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Speaker 5: the tiniest little things, and I think that's what I've

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Speaker 5: learned over time is around success sometimes can be just

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Speaker 5: getting your morning done okay, you know, and not not

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Speaker 5: really struggling in that process. And I think I learn

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Speaker 5: over time following other people was what I thought my

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Speaker 5: version of success was, so seeing someone else do something

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Speaker 5: and I was like, Okay, I think I can do that.

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Speaker 5: My older sister played netball, and that's the only reason

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Speaker 5: I really got into the sport was because I watched

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Speaker 5: her start to make teams and think, hmm, the competitiveness

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Speaker 5: in me. I was like, I reckon, I could do that.

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Speaker 5: So my version of success back then was simply bang

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Speaker 5: out a tick off the same mark as that she

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Speaker 5: had done. And it wasn't until I started to really,

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Speaker 5: I guess, feel confident in my own skin when I

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Speaker 5: stepped onto the netball cort or the basketball court or

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Speaker 5: whatever I was playing. I started to really embrace that

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Speaker 5: the asset that I have that not many people have

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Speaker 5: is my height, and it's not something to be worried

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Speaker 5: about or ashamed about, or you know, stress about.

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Speaker 4: It's me.

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Speaker 5: And as soon as I started to love being out

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Speaker 5: there on court because I felt comfortable in my own skin,

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Speaker 5: and then I started to feel confident about myself, then

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Speaker 5: I started to be able to go, oh, actually I

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Speaker 5: could do things a little bit different to my sister,

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Speaker 5: and then what do I really want to do and

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Speaker 5: what's the big picture for me? And so it kind

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Speaker 5: of took me being a bit more self aware of

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Speaker 5: why I was doing it. And it seems I would

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Speaker 5: not have understood this at the time, but it's something

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Speaker 5: as I've really reflected back on my career, I realized

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Speaker 5: the only reason I started playing sport and enjoyed playing

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Speaker 5: sport was because I felt comfortable in my own skin.

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Speaker 5: Whereas when I was with my friends and when I

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Speaker 5: was out at school, I was just wanting to be

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Speaker 5: like everybody else.

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Speaker 4: I was wanting to be little and.

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Speaker 5: You know, wear the same clothes as everybody else, and

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Speaker 5: not be this gigantic person that stood above everybody else,

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Speaker 5: even though you know I was. I'm six foot two,

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Speaker 5: so I was naturally always going to be tall, But

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Speaker 5: sport really taught me to love myself and my body

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Speaker 5: and to really be able to embrace what an asset

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Speaker 5: it is to be tall, and so that to me

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Speaker 5: then really drove what I could do with that and

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Speaker 5: how much I felt so good being out there on court.

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Speaker 5: I wanted to do it as much as I could.

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Speaker 5: So then success for me was like, right, how far

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Speaker 5: can I this? Can I get into the Australian team?

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Speaker 5: Can I win gold medals? And you know, eventually you

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Speaker 5: do it, But it certainly doesn't just happen like that.

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Speaker 5: It kind of is this gradual rollercoaster ride of ups

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Speaker 5: and downs that you get to eventually, but a bloody

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Speaker 5: lot of hard work and a lot of setbacks along

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Speaker 5: the way. And I look back now and the gold

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Speaker 5: medals are great. Yes, they were something I aspired to

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Speaker 5: get and wanted. But it's the little things that I

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Speaker 5: ticked off along the way, the little moments that I had,

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Speaker 5: whether it's with my teammates or it's things that I

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Speaker 5: was able to overcome personally, that really I look back

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Speaker 5: and I feel more successful because of those little things.

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Speaker 4: And what it's taught me.

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Speaker 5: Now I'm not an athlete, and what drives me now

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Speaker 5: that I'm not an athlete that I'm like, Oh, they're

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Speaker 5: the things that really matter, not the shiny stuff.

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Speaker 3: I want to pull on a couple of threads there,

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Speaker 3: which is that the court became your happy place. What

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Speaker 3: we're talking about there is the feeling that you experience,

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Speaker 3: not the thought of the projection of what it could be.

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Speaker 3: It's actually how it made you feel. Yes, And I'd

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Speaker 3: argue that that's not something that enough people actually really

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Speaker 3: sit in and marinate over with when it comes to success.

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Speaker 3: They think that when I get the house, or when

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Speaker 3: I get the new car, or when I get the

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Speaker 3: extra zeros in my bank, or when I win the

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Speaker 3: gold or whatever, then I will be successful. But really

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Speaker 3: I don't believe that it's any of those things. It's

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Speaker 3: the feeling you think you're going to feel when you

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Speaker 3: acquire those things. And so really what we're probably asking

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Speaker 3: for is more feeling. What is the feeling? And I

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Speaker 3: think that feeling from a Hindi perspective or Hindi mythological perspective,

401
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 3: is called an under which is which is bliss, but

402
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Speaker 3: not the bliss that English language uses, which is euphor

403
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:16,880
Speaker 3: eken up and out and but grounded, peaceful, calm, contented, safe, loved,

404
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 3: unified together. That that's that sense of peace. But this

405
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:27,719
Speaker 3: is my This is a space that I feel absolute,

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Speaker 3: the deepest level of comfort in and I love that

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Speaker 3: you felt that.

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Speaker 1: On the court, there's the outcome or the situation of success.

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Speaker 1: While beyond Chris successful, she works on television. She got

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Speaker 1: a great bloke, she got an awesome kid, makes pretty

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Speaker 1: good though, like our our culture says that success is

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Speaker 1: about what you have, what you and what you drive,

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Speaker 1: where you live, what you look like.

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Speaker 2: What people think are you.

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Speaker 3: They're the KPI all extrinsic and we whatever.

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Speaker 1: So but what we know is and we all know people,

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Speaker 1: and we've made you being the people where from the

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Speaker 1: outside looking in, people are going like I had a moment.

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Speaker 1: Sorry to interrupt you, but when I was in my

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Speaker 1: early thirties, I had five businesses and one hundred staff.

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Speaker 1: I had three gyms, two other businesses, and I was

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Speaker 1: making lots. Today, all my businesses were making money. And

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Speaker 1: every night I would go to bed and hardly sleep.

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Speaker 1: I would go to bed with a spiral bound had

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Speaker 1: by my bed so when I woke up nine times,

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Speaker 1: which I would, I could write down the thing so

427
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Speaker 1: it was out of my head and onto a pad

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Speaker 1: so I could relax and kind of sleep. And I

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Speaker 1: was in the situation of success, but not the experience. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and when I coach most people, when you get through.

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Speaker 1: So there's when we talk about goal sitting. We talk

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Speaker 1: about what you want. There's your what, but your why

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Speaker 1: and your why is what you really want. So like

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00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,160
Speaker 1: when I wanted when I was a morbidley OB's kid,

435
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 1: I wanted to lose a bunch of weight. So my

436
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 1: what was weight loss, but my why was I want

437
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,680
Speaker 1: someone to love me. I want to I don't want

438
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 1: to be picked last. I don't want to be embarrassed.

439
00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:58,119
Speaker 2: I want it.

440
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,439
Speaker 1: I don't want to be socially invisible. I want to

441
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,280
Speaker 1: get a girlfriend. I want to fucking belong like but

442
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 1: then you dig deeper, it's like, well, I just want love.

443
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 1: I just want to love, right, And so when we

444
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 1: get to the bottom of everything, I think what you said,

445
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: which is most people that I talk to, Yes, they

446
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 1: want practical stuff.

447
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 2: As we all do.

448
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,919
Speaker 1: Nothing wrong with that because we live in a world

449
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 1: somewhat driven by money and dependent on money and all the.

450
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 3: Practical that a recent episode with ben Crow, So there's

451
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 3: nothing wrong with one meeting those extremes we needed to

452
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 3: live like.

453
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 1: Well, even in you know, we got a little biblical before,

454
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 1: but even then the New Testament. People miss quote this scription.

455
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,119
Speaker 1: They go, money is the root of all evil. The

456
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 1: actual scripture is the love of money is the root.

457
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,680
Speaker 1: It's not about money, it's about your relationship. It's about

458
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 1: what it means. It's like you can like training, for example,

459
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,120
Speaker 1: we all work out, we all go to the gym,

460
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 1: we're all you know, there's there's a point where training

461
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,520
Speaker 1: is great, and then there's a point where it's now

462
00:23:55,520 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 1: obsessive and destructive and toxic. So in science language, everything's

463
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: dose dependent. Yes, it's dose dependent. Like everything, there's a

464
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 1: dose that's healthy, not everything, but most things. And so

465
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 1: that when you dig past what do you want I

466
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: want to do this own that live there. I want

467
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 1: to get a PhD.

468
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 2: Da da da da da.

469
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,199
Speaker 1: You know, Like for me, the idea of doing a

470
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,360
Speaker 1: PhD was like super sexy. The practical reality is it's

471
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:22,120
Speaker 1: a motherfucker.

472
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,239
Speaker 2: It's like I tell my friends, don't ever do it.

473
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 2: People have gone to me. Do you think I go Nope, No, don't.

474
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:29,879
Speaker 4: Why did you do?

475
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 6: It?

476
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 2: Probably feel a little.

477
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:35,959
Speaker 1: Bit more credible because I'm wildly insecure and I've felt

478
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:41,400
Speaker 1: like a fucking pasta fraud, you name it. Like what's

479
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 1: hilarious is this capacity that we humans have to simultaneously

480
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: feel like a fraud but know that we're not.

481
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 2: Like I know I'm not just because I've.

482
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,360
Speaker 1: Got enough data now to suggest that or I've got

483
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 1: enough evidence right, But do I still feel not good enough?

484
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,639
Speaker 2: Constantly? Constantly.

485
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 1: It's like when when Josh was introing you, I'm like,

486
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 1: what the fuck is you going to say about me?

487
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 2: Like an ex fat kid from La tro Valley.

488
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 7: I've done four things, oh, World champion, common shit, Commonwealth

489
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 7: games on the block TV, you know, and it's just

490
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 7: like even in that, but I'm aware of what's going on, Yes, but.

491
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 3: That which is really important. It speaks to your work.

492
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,679
Speaker 3: Is that I said that you've become a really good

493
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 3: friend and a mentor and you've really helped me. Yeah,

494
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 3: and for me, I go, that's a huge marker of

495
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 3: success in someone because it is in the eye beholder.

496
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,440
Speaker 3: So for me, I go, you're you're so successful cause

497
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 3: I watch you help people, and I value people that

498
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 3: help people.

499
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 1: I tried selfishness for a long time. I gave it

500
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 1: a good crowd.

501
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:50,679
Speaker 3: I think we all do.

502
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm I was.

503
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 1: I was the center of my world and it just

504
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 1: you know, it's like there's this model that I didn't

505
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 1: develop of kind expanded it, but where you go through

506
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 1: this journey of self kind of self reflection through to

507
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 1: self awareness and then you know self regulation and it

508
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 1: ends up the last two.

509
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,680
Speaker 3: There's eight little tackle and self loathing might.

510
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 1: Be yeah, self flagellation, but the last two, the last second,

511
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: last one is self actualization, which is you becoming kind

512
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: of who you want it to be and how you

513
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,399
Speaker 1: want it to be. And I'm I think I'm like

514
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 1: in that ballpark, But the real goal is what I

515
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: think is the final step, which is self transcendence, which

516
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 1: is having a purpose bigger than you, So it ain't

517
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: about me, and I know that for me, and yet

518
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 1: it sounds mother Teresa and people might go, oh, that's

519
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,440
Speaker 1: good saying a podcast, and I get it because I'm

520
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 1: definitely not it a lot, But I try to be

521
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: where I do have a purpose bigger than me, and

522
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 1: I'm I'm about genuinely about whatever love looks like, whether

523
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 1: it's kindness, whether it's quality time, whether it's a hug,

524
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 1: whether it's you know, literally giving someone a few bucks,

525
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 1: or whether it's encouragement or you know, every now and

526
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,679
Speaker 1: then it'll be some tough love. But you know it's

527
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:16,679
Speaker 1: that transcendent kind of existence because I think in that

528
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: model of successes about what I can get and what

529
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 1: I can have and what I can own and earn,

530
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 1: and what people think of me at the best. What

531
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 1: that brings us is a fleeting change of emotion and psychology,

532
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 1: like there's not It doesn't bring my experience, it doesn't

533
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: bring that deep contentment, and you think about I reckon

534
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 1: in for those of us who live in relative first

535
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,439
Speaker 1: world comfort, what most people really want, which you mentioned,

536
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: is just to be calm, the absence of anxiety everyone's

537
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,959
Speaker 1: fucking anxious, Like, what do I really want? I just

538
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel like this. How do you

539
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: want to feel like the opposite of anxious, the opposite

540
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:57,119
Speaker 1: of stress?

541
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 2: Put up your hand.

542
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 1: If you're an overthinker, everyone has that going shitouse, you know,

543
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 1: And it's all of this, I mean anxiety, stress, overthinking,

544
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: self doubt, datata.

545
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 2: All of that.

546
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 1: It's a manifestation of fear. And then you go, what

547
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 1: am I scared of? Let's let's dive rather than run away.

548
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: Let's run into it and let's see what's there. Because

549
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 1: you can't deal with the thing that you won't acknowledge,

550
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:23,719
Speaker 1: you know. Am I lazy?

551
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 2: Yep? Sometimes? Am I driven by ego?

552
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:27,400
Speaker 3: Yep?

553
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 2: Do I have to bite my tongue because I want

554
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 2: to impress people? Yep?

555
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: All of these things. And that is not self loathing.

556
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 1: That is just honesty and reflection and self awareness.

557
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's self awareness part.

558
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 5: I think that's something that you learn a lot more

559
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 5: about the more you spend time on it. Right, And

560
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 5: even when you were just talking about that imposter syndrome,

561
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 5: and I think every single person in the world would

562
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 5: have that at some stage. And it's about knowing and

563
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 5: understanding that you're having those thoughts and that's okay, and

564
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 5: you just not that you're letting it pass by, but

565
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 5: you're kind of thinking, what is it in this moment

566
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 5: that's making me feel like this, and what can I

567
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,479
Speaker 5: do to get myself out of it? Or what can

568
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 5: I do to kind of pass through this and be

569
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 5: okay that that just happens?

570
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 4: Do you agree with that?

571
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 5: But that having that self awareness and not trying and

572
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 5: fight those feelings but letting them just be there and

573
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 5: knowing that it's not going to take over me in

574
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,479
Speaker 5: this moment, or you hope it doesn't, and even if

575
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 5: it does, you figure out a way to work through it. Yeah,

576
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 5: because it is your PhD in self awareness.

577
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, essentially.

578
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, But what I think is that's what Yeah, that's

579
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 3: a part of a huge part of neuropsychology.

580
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 1: I can dive into it, but we don't want to

581
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:38,719
Speaker 1: bore people. But I think really what is really really

582
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 1: valuable and just not taught and told much, is just

583
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 1: to be okay with being wrong. You noticed at the

584
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 1: moment everyone wants to be right, and it's like one

585
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 1: of the problems with thinking that you are right, Like

586
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 1: if you think I don't want to pick a topic

587
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: because people instantly get polarized. But just any subject, any topic,

588
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: any idea, any construct, any philosophy. When I think that

589
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 1: I am unequivocally right, then I also think that everyone

590
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 1: in the world who disagrees with me is unequivocally wrong.

591
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: That's a fucking dangerous mindset. So, and I, you know,

592
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 1: I grew up in a very religious theological paradigm, thinking

593
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 1: and behaving and living and socializing in accordance with that.

594
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 1: And you think about, like, everyone listening to this right now,

595
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. Let's say ten thousand people

596
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: are listening to this. Ten thousand people are listening to

597
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 1: the same three people in the same conversation, but no

598
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: one's having the same experience as a listener, Like we

599
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:48,479
Speaker 1: are always creating our own experiences without intending to. And

600
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 1: so and we grow up, you know, we grow up

601
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: in an echo chamber of thought and behavior and values

602
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: and culture, and you become a product that. So by

603
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 1: the time you're pushed out of the nestaeda eten or whatever,

604
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 1: you see the world a certain way, and most of

605
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 1: that worldview you did not choose. It's merely a byproduct

606
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: of where you've been and what you've been in you know,

607
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 1: and this is a self awareness question.

608
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 3: And what you talk about it harks back to what

609
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 3: we chatted about in the prologue about Chris Martin and

610
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 3: Coldplay and the oneness. Yes, that humans inherently enjoy. The

611
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 3: duellism and the duelism plays into the rightusness and the righteousness.

612
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 3: It's like, I need to be on this side of

613
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 3: I need to barrack for this yeah. And I need

614
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 3: to be right in barracking for this yes, because the

615
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 3: idea of the one that actually means that you have

616
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 3: to remove judgment, increase open mindedness. You have to relinquish fear,

617
00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 3: relinquish prejudice, relinquish projections. You have to relinquish so much

618
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 3: to get rid of your rightness and righteousness that that's

619
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 3: too heavy a burden, too deep a place for a

620
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 3: lot of people to go to. But really, that dualism,

621
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 3: that righteousness is a fear manifest it's not. It's the

622
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 3: inability to park your stuff because you're too scared of

623
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 3: what it could be if you don't what happens. I'm

624
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 3: too scared of being wrong, because what is the pathway

625
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 3: of that, and so really that dualism is the opposite

626
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 3: of love because it's driven by fear, and fear is

627
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 3: the opposite of love really.

628
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: And also, you think about whatever we believe, generally, our

629
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: identity is intertwined with that belief. So if you question

630
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 1: my belief, you're questioning me exactly, And if my belief's wrong,

631
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:56,959
Speaker 1: then who the fuck am I?

632
00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 3: Exactly? So my belief is right, but you're not your belief. Yeah,

633
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 3: so you're not and and so you so you need

634
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 3: to really dive into is that conditioning? Is that you know,

635
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 3: I've had lots of sort of disagreements with some mates

636
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 3: at the moment around what's happening in the Middle East

637
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 3: because they sit on one side of the equation, and

638
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 3: then there's a bunch of mates more in the arts

639
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 3: who are on a totally different side of the situation.

640
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 3: This is a really challenging topic at the moment. But

641
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 3: once again, spoken on this on an earlier episode, I'm

642
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 3: trying to find and move away from, you know, the

643
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 3: fact that I'm Jewish and I have to side with

644
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 3: something because I don't I see, I'm like trying to

645
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 3: find this middle middle space where and I go where

646
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 3: is where is where is love? Where is peace? Where

647
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 3: is calm in this? And and I've said that it's

648
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 3: a sad thing, that very sad thing, that that concept

649
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 3: is seemingly you topian in this day and age, that

650
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 3: that oneness is utopian, But it's it's really about going, hey,

651
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 3: I see it from your perspective, and I see it

652
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,760
Speaker 3: from your perspective. I'm not putting my head in the sand,

653
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 3: but I'm taking the middle ground between between the two

654
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 3: rather than going it has to be.

655
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 4: This, And you don't always have to have an opinion.

656
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you can just listen.

657
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,280
Speaker 5: Yes, it doesn't mean you're being naive or you're ignoring

658
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 5: what's going on. I think a lot of people feel

659
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 5: like they've got to have an opinion, and unfortunately it's

660
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 5: like the loudest opinion and everyone needs to know shout

661
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 5: it out to everybody. And that's how people feel like

662
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 5: they're getting, you know, their thoughts across and they're also

663
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 5: being part of a conversation because of that. And I

664
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 5: think there's so much power in sitting back and listening

665
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,879
Speaker 5: and not feeling like you have to add to it,

666
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 5: that you can just sit back and take it all

667
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 5: in and that's okay too.

668
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 4: I just yeah, I don't know.

669
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 5: I find that with a lot of you know, just

670
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 5: the people I'm around, whether in work or just life,

671
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:01,320
Speaker 5: that everyone does loves to have their opinion.

672
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 3: And here we are having all sorts.

673
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: Isn't it cool though, to go I don't know, I

674
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know, and I can.

675
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 2: Make some up I don't know.

676
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,319
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, And I think a lot of people do

677
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 5: get smells down this rabbit hole of making stuff up.

678
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 2: Once a week, I reckon what do you think?

679
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 3: I don't know.

680
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 1: Why I get asked is what do you think happens

681
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,879
Speaker 1: when we die? O? I don't know. I could tell

682
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 1: you what my upbringing told me. I could tell you

683
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 1: with what a whole lot of you know, other religions think.

684
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 2: But what I don't know, I don't know.

685
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 3: With the work you're doing and the work we're all

686
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 3: talking about doing, which is to just being more aware.

687
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 3: In that awareness, I think what we find is the

688
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 3: ability to go ah, that thought that I'm having, or

689
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 3: that righteousness around that topic, that is a part of

690
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 3: my conditioned belief system. That's an indoctrination that's been put

691
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 3: upon me. It doesn't have to be to be right.

692
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 3: It's just what I've been fed and that now lives

693
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:07,280
Speaker 3: in my subconscious as right. Maybe that's not the only

694
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:08,920
Speaker 3: way things need to be.

695
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I think for me, I reckon I learned

696
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:16,319
Speaker 5: so much from playing in a team sport because of

697
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 5: the fact, and then that's what since retiring, That's what

698
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 5: I really noticed out in the big bad real world,

699
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,239
Speaker 5: is that in a team, and especially when you're spending

700
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 5: a lot of time together training together, you know you're

701
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 5: working your asses off to try and win, and along

702
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 5: with that comes a lot of conversations and you're getting

703
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 5: feedback constantly, whether it be feedback about your performance from

704
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 5: your coaches and what you need to work on. But

705
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 5: in a team environment, especially with the Aussie team, your

706
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 5: delve so deep into each other's like who we are

707
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 5: as people and what we need from each other.

708
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 4: In those moments when we're under the most.

709
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 5: Stress, and so you are getting this feedback from everyone

710
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:57,840
Speaker 5: about yourself and it's the most frightening thing in the

711
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,840
Speaker 5: moment to actually listen to your teammates give you this feedback.

712
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 5: But they will sit you down and it'll be like,

713
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 5: when I'm feeling this, what do I need from you.

714
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 5: So if you're struggling with how are you shooting in

715
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:09,720
Speaker 5: that moment?

716
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 4: What do you need.

717
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 5: From your teammates? What can we say to you to

718
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 5: help you when you're feeling like that?

719
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 3: I love this and.

720
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 4: It's it is confronting.

721
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:19,160
Speaker 5: It takes a lot of work to get to that

722
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 5: point and of these conversations and big like that. But

723
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 5: I think that's helped me so much, be so aware

724
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 5: of me, my body language and what that tells people

725
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 5: when I'm acting a certain way and when I'm frustrated

726
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 5: or I might not have been playing that well, you

727
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,600
Speaker 5: know what I needed from my teammates and being able

728
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 5: to ask for the help in that moment. What can

729
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,320
Speaker 5: you do for me to help me in that moment,

730
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 5: because it's only going to be for the better of

731
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 5: the team. And if someone might be struggling with their

732
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 5: mental health, what do you need from your teammates when

733
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:51,399
Speaker 5: you you know can't you can't possibly train today because

734
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 5: you're not in the right space to do it.

735
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 4: What can we do to support you?

736
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 3: I mean, this is so beautiful to hear that that

737
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:01,319
Speaker 3: that that you're actually delving into what the feeling of

738
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 3: the other individual, not just are they missed another shot,

739
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:10,240
Speaker 3: they got the yips? There's going? Why what are they experiencing?

740
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 3: What can I give them? You know, back to what

741
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 3: you were talking about, pulling on that thread. Half's about going.

742
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 3: It's not about me. It's about how I can help

743
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 3: another and what I can give like this, that's beautiful.

744
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 3: That does that happen? And this is another interesting question.

745
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 3: Do you think that happens more in women's sport than

746
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 3: it does in men's sport? Is there?

747
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 5: Well?

748
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 3: I think because women naturally lean into the emotional parts

749
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 3: of things and men struggle with that more just.

750
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 5: But I also think women it takes a while to

751
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,920
Speaker 5: really not take it personally as well. Whereas men can

752
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 5: quite easily give each other feedback this is very general generalization,

753
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:49,759
Speaker 5: can give each other feedback and just move on and

754
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 5: accept it, whereas I feel like women can often sit

755
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 5: in that space of like I can't believe she said

756
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 5: that about me, or I can't believe she thinks I'm

757
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 5: struggling in that way.

758
00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:58,399
Speaker 4: But it does.

759
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 5: It comes down to trust, right, You have to really

760
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 5: have that layer of trust before you can then move

761
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,759
Speaker 5: into that next part. And you said you spoke to

762
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 5: ben Crow and I mean crow is such a big

763
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 5: one for that, being able to have a space where

764
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 5: you can talk about it, be vulnerable and also accept help.

765
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 5: And I think most of the time it's coming from

766
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:18,320
Speaker 5: a place where you have to come with a solution

767
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 5: to You can't just say I'm sitting here in this

768
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 5: I'm not playing well, don't talk to me like you

769
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 5: have to actually help them help you.

770
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 4: And I think that's where.

771
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 5: It comes for having a bit more thought process around

772
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 5: it too. So when I'm in this space and I'm

773
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 5: feeling like this, this is what I need from you,

774
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 5: So that when people are doing that to you and

775
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 5: delivering you what you've said you've needed, then it's up

776
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 5: to you to show up to that too. You can't

777
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 5: just then be dismissive of that you've told them, You've

778
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 5: given them permission to do that and to talk to

779
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 5: you in that way. That you have to also then

780
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 5: show up for yourself and get yourself out of that

781
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 5: frame of mind that you might be in.

782
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 3: And this is beautiful to around it back to the

783
00:39:54,840 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 3: topic success. This is a beautiful way to to create

784
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 3: team success that it does ask for vulnerability, it does

785
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 3: ask for meeting people's needs but ultimately like trust, Like

786
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 3: if you don't have the trust within the framework of

787
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 3: a team, you can't be vulnerable. You know you can't.

788
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 3: You won't feel safe to be vulnerable.

789
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 5: So and getting out of your own skin really and

790
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,400
Speaker 5: you know that empathetic part of where you go and

791
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 5: sit where someone else is at right and be there

792
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 5: with them in that moment and then try and work

793
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 5: through how you're going to get better, because you're only

794
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 5: going to be as good as you know, probably the

795
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:37,359
Speaker 5: weakest person on that team or the least inexperienced person

796
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 5: on that team. You're only as good as what they

797
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 5: can be in that moment, and so you've got to

798
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:44,919
Speaker 5: do everything you can to all try and be at

799
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 5: a similar level and work together to try and problem solve.

800
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,879
Speaker 5: I would have been hopeless at an individual sport. There

801
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 5: is no chance I would have been successful in sport

802
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 5: on my own. I really embrace the fact I had

803
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 5: team mates around me, and I love that got the

804
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 5: best out of me being able to help other people

805
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,760
Speaker 5: out there. So if I was, you know, a tennis

806
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 5: player like I listened to Jolena Dokitch and Todd Woodbridge

807
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 5: on your potty and I loved listening to them, and

808
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 5: I just think they're mentally next level the way that

809
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 5: they can do it and get themselves out of tough

810
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 5: spots on their own in a place where they don't

811
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 5: have anyone around them, and it comes down to them.

812
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,840
Speaker 5: I think they are a totally different breed of athlete

813
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,400
Speaker 5: to what a team sport athlete is.

814
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 3: What were the sort of routines or rituals or things

815
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 3: that you put in place for yourself or that the

816
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:41,720
Speaker 3: team put in place to feel like you were moving

817
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 3: closer towards the success that you were you were after

818
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 3: and you might Craig want to talk about some of

819
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 3: those key characteristics of things. That's the crazyness.

820
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 5: Especially in this early start. Craig would work on a

821
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:57,360
Speaker 5: lot of that with us too. It started as a

822
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 5: street and conditioning side of things, and then you move

823
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 5: more into the space of actually working with us from

824
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 5: a leadership perspective, and you know, setting ourselves our values

825
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 5: and behaviors and what we were going to stand for,

826
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 5: and what the behaviors that we would set, what we

827
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 5: would have to hold each other accountable to. That probably

828
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 5: became the more powerful piece what we were going to

829
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 5: accept of each other.

830
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 3: And but did you do things like a morning before

831
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 3: a game or not for a game, I need to

832
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 3: have a speakati of the days morning for a game,

833
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 3: I need to mourning for a like, or I always

834
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 3: you know, meditate, or or I always do this movement

835
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,319
Speaker 3: activity or like. Do you have these sort of practices

836
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:39,479
Speaker 3: that you put in place?

837
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, you would, definitely, And I was very much. I

838
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 5: had to be really prepared beforehand, so I would watch

839
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 5: if I was watching any video or anything about the

840
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:48,400
Speaker 5: team I was about to play, I had to do

841
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 5: all of that the night before, because prep tick that

842
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 5: off the night before.

843
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 4: I wouldn't you.

844
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 5: I would always generally have like salmon and rice and

845
00:42:57,719 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 5: not before a game.

846
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 4: But I wasn't stuck on the fact.

847
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 5: And I think Craigo got me out of this being

848
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 5: stuck on the fact that I had to do that,

849
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 5: because if you didn't do it, what we're going to do,

850
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 5: We're going to just crumble and heat the.

851
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 3: Next day salmon shortage. Where am I going to get

852
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 3: my biga three fatty assets before?

853
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,359
Speaker 5: So I think like we used to think it was,

854
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 5: you know, you're quite strict about it all. And then

855
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:20,359
Speaker 5: I relaxed later in my career, I was so much

856
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:22,360
Speaker 5: more relaxed about it. But what I enjoyed doing was

857
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 5: getting to a game and being able to muck around

858
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 5: and have fun in the change rooms with everybody and

859
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 5: enjoy because the joy and not focusing too much on

860
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 5: it allowed me to then go out there on court

861
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 5: and play my best. If I was too caught up

862
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 5: in it and too focused and too analytical, then I

863
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 5: would get in my own head and the old overthinking

864
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 5: would get in my way.

865
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 4: So I really needed.

866
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 5: To just make sure that I arrived and I could

867
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:47,320
Speaker 5: have a bit of fun beforehand.

868
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 3: So I mean, I'll get you to speak to this soon, Craig.

869
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 3: But preparation you've mentioned, and play you've mentioned. When I

870
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 3: sort of work with people in this space and in

871
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:03,040
Speaker 3: my self, something that I've sort of formulated is what

872
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 3: I call it, like five five p's to controlling what

873
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 3: I can control to be the most successful I can

874
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,399
Speaker 3: be in it. In a moment, can I.

875
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 1: Tell you that you two think way too fucking much?

876
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 1: You both overthink it?

877
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 3: No, both c D.

878
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:20,600
Speaker 4: Probably what are your five p's?

879
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 3: Preparation? Preparation is the is the first one you go.

880
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 3: I've got to you know, like if I don't really

881
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:29,880
Speaker 3: know my ship. I can't. I can't trust it. Presence,

882
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 3: you know, So what do I do to stay present?

883
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 3: And sometimes when you get in your head or whatever,

884
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 3: like just a sensory thing like just go, you know,

885
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 3: the feeling of my feet on the ground, or you

886
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 3: know what I what I can see, what I can hear,

887
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 3: what I can smell? And purpose? What's what? What's my intention?

888
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:52,720
Speaker 3: That's what? What's my why? Why why am I here? Passion?

889
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 3: You know? To go? You know what? I do that feeling? Yeah,

890
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 3: lean into the feeling that I want to feel. And

891
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,920
Speaker 3: the last one is play and I think you know

892
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 3: plays once again, Crowie talked a lot about play on

893
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 3: our episode, but that idea of just bringing that inner

894
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:11,479
Speaker 3: child into it, like well, that's the joy, that's the fun,

895
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 3: that's like why, that's the curiosity, that's the adventure. Like

896
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 3: what would I Why would I be doing this if

897
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:21,680
Speaker 3: there wasn't an element of play in it? And then

898
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 3: what happens happens? You know, I've done the part that

899
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,840
Speaker 3: I can do, and this is I definitely do this

900
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 3: before auditions or before major performances. I really sit into

901
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:36,879
Speaker 3: this because I know I can't control what those you know, five, six,

902
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,439
Speaker 3: twelve people on the panel think I have no say

903
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:42,359
Speaker 3: in what they think. But my power is in those

904
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 3: five things, and if I screw up any of them,

905
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 3: I just throw in the six one, which is persistence,

906
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,359
Speaker 3: just go you know what this tomorrow like and sack

907
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:53,280
Speaker 3: sort of Kobe Bryant Bryant thing, which is like, whether

908
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 3: you win or you lose, you've got to rock up

909
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 3: the next day and go again. And you go, get

910
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 3: that's the persistent thing. So that might be a for

911
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 3: thinking it, but I actually think, do you know what

912
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,840
Speaker 3: exact that helped? That has really helped me to just

913
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 3: create a framework for success in a way that I go,

914
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:12,239
Speaker 3: I feel like I have some control. And we spend

915
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 3: a lot of time trying to control the things we

916
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 3: can't control. I'm trying to control what that panel think

917
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 3: of me. I kind of control what the two thousand

918
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:19,640
Speaker 3: people think of me. I have no say in it.

919
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 1: And I think it's understanding that different things work for

920
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 1: different people, and so like there's a fine line sometimes

921
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:29,759
Speaker 1: between superstition and protocol, you know, because a lot of

922
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 1: athletes are superstitious, and you go, yeah, I've got it.

923
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 1: You know, there's nothing all that does really for them

924
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: is reduce anxiety because they feel better. There's no scientific

925
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 1: validity to a lot of it.

926
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 3: Well there was.

927
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 1: That's the that's the completion of part one of this

928
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 1: chat Bianca and Josh and myself.

929
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 2: Hope you enjoyed it. We'll be back tomorrow.