Speaker 1: I want the fairy tale, I want the prince charming
Speaker 1: she how.
Speaker 2: Do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing style?
Speaker 3: Boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a
Speaker 3: trash bin. He's non recyclable catching them mu.
Speaker 2: I love being love, I love love.
Speaker 4: On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are
Speaker 4: looking at mirroring in both dating and relationships.
Speaker 1: It is often said you are the company you keep,
Speaker 1: but why do people change their behavior or language around
Speaker 1: people they spend a lot of time with.
Speaker 4: We'll be taking a deeper look into our own relationships
Speaker 4: and friendships to see if we've become the mirror image,
Speaker 4: or in fact, we are the influence.
Speaker 1: Stay tuned to hear if imitation really is the best
Speaker 1: form of flattery. Where's Your Head At is a podcast
Speaker 1: that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows,
Speaker 1: and everything in between.
Speaker 4: This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,
Speaker 4: intimate details, advice, and much more.
Speaker 1: Okay, Matt and I have walked straight off of a
Speaker 1: photo shooting into the studio for this podcast, and then
Speaker 1: we stopped off and had a bit of a Maca's
Speaker 1: run on the way here.
Speaker 3: I haven't had macas in so long.
Speaker 2: It's so good.
Speaker 4: I know, nice Caesar salad Wrath was unreal, But don't
Speaker 4: you think maybe with grease looming in the future now
Speaker 4: you should be Maybe not having macis for the shaming
Speaker 4: me Greece summer coming up. I thought maybe you'd be
Speaker 4: doing on a health kick or something. Well.
Speaker 3: I was on an eight week challenge.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember me telling you this,
Speaker 1: and then I got COVID and it kind of just
Speaker 1: all fell apart at the seams.
Speaker 4: I reckon this was Anna's like eighth tenth at an
Speaker 4: eight week challenge.
Speaker 1: I don't do well at them, but you know what,
Speaker 1: EF is key. As long as you're trying, that's the
Speaker 1: main thing.
Speaker 4: Well, if you do one week eight times, that's an
Speaker 4: eight week challenge, but just spread apart different differ time
Speaker 4: theeriod's Well, does Michael do it as well, because that
Speaker 4: would be definitely handy if you've got your boyfriend Michael
Speaker 4: helping you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think Michael is so good at going to the gym.
Speaker 1: He just loves it, not for like his body image essentially,
Speaker 1: but more for his mental health. I think if he
Speaker 1: doesn't go to the gym. He really struggles with his anxiety.
Speaker 4: I'm the exact same. If I don't go Jim that night,
Speaker 4: I feel really unsettled.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I feel unsettled as well, but I never
Speaker 1: remedied it with Jim, And ever since dating Michael, he's
Speaker 1: encouraged me to go to the gym with him and
Speaker 1: it really has helped my mental health. And I always
Speaker 1: say it. As soon as I go back to the gym,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I feel so good. Why did I
Speaker 1: forget about this? And yeah, I'm jumping on that health
Speaker 1: kick bandwagon as of next week.
Speaker 2: All right, well, we will check in with you on
Speaker 2: the next episode. So what encouraged this flight to Greece?
Speaker 2: This trip? Should I say?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 1: Michael's friends are getting married there. I've never met them,
Speaker 1: but it's his friends from London. So everyone's going to Greece.
Speaker 1: Whereabouts in Greece Zachenthos. I think it's called it looks amazing.
Speaker 1: I'll show you photos later. It's incredible. If you've not
Speaker 1: heard of it, google it. The photos are to die for.
Speaker 1: So I'm very excited. We're only going for two weeks
Speaker 1: because we have done a few holidays this year, and
Speaker 1: I feel like we need to tighten the pennies.
Speaker 3: A little bit. I'm like, oh, not another.
Speaker 1: Holiday, but Greece will be amazing. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: have my first European summer And like, how long since
Speaker 1: way before COVID.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's been me now four or five years
Speaker 2: since I went.
Speaker 1: Yeah, imagine Yeah, So I mean it's going to be amazing.
Speaker 1: Hopefully we have the best two weeks of our life
Speaker 1: and then we won't have to go on a holiday
Speaker 1: for a year, so we can save some money.
Speaker 4: Say that now, but knowing you guys, you'll probably book
Speaker 4: a holiday real quick somewhere.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how's your move with jen going?
Speaker 2: We're settled in.
Speaker 4: Everything's unpacked. Our house is getting there.
Speaker 2: Like, there's a.
Speaker 4: Couple of stray boxes still, we've put them in the
Speaker 4: back shed. I think we'll forget about their what's in there,
Speaker 4: tenths of them and until we need to. But apart
Speaker 4: from that, we're all settled in. Our wardropes will unpacked.
Speaker 2: It's actually funny. I was looking out.
Speaker 4: Our wardropes because we had these two huge, gorgeous wardrobes
Speaker 4: next to each other. So it's really good for me obviously,
Speaker 4: I have an abundance of clothes. I need to really
Speaker 4: swap through them again. But I was looking at him
Speaker 4: and I was like, you know what, these wardropes are
Speaker 4: starting to look quite similar in a way. I mean,
Speaker 4: Jen has a taste for what she says, earthy.
Speaker 3: Tones, so youth tone.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, now that I've stood out to me, I noticed
Speaker 4: other people in him and it's very common.
Speaker 2: So you've got the greens, the browns.
Speaker 4: The blues, just colors that I wouldn't normally wear. Anna,
Speaker 4: I'm a very black and white black and whe Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was about to say, you in black and white,
Speaker 3: just like.
Speaker 4: It's just what you're Yeah, and look at me now.
Speaker 4: I'm even in light blue denim jeans. I would not
Speaker 4: have owned these unless it was for Gen.
Speaker 3: It's unheard of.
Speaker 1: Matt's whole wardrobe has totally changed since he started dating Jen.
Speaker 3: And you know what, I I think you look great.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and Jen would as well. She says that I
Speaker 4: look really good. You know what, It's all growing on me.
Speaker 4: I'm getting used to it.
Speaker 1: I actually got an invite round to Matt's house this
Speaker 1: weekend for the first time. I was patiently waiting for
Speaker 1: him to get everything set up and to eventually invite
Speaker 1: me around. And the invitation has now come and I
Speaker 1: get to meet Jen's twin sister, which I'm very excited
Speaker 1: about because I feel like that's going to be so
Speaker 1: crazy to meet her because I've only known Jen, and
Speaker 1: you like, I've never known her. I've known she had
Speaker 1: a twin, but I've never actually met her twins. So
Speaker 1: it's going to be fun.
Speaker 2: They're quite similar in a way, They're just the same.
Speaker 1: Have you ever mistaken them for each other now that
Speaker 1: you're living in One time?
Speaker 4: I was one time I thought I came up behind
Speaker 4: as I was going to the bathroom. I didn't slap
Speaker 4: any ass. I just was like ooh, And then I
Speaker 4: realized it was I realized it was Nicky, and I
Speaker 4: was like, oh shit, I thought you were Jen because
Speaker 4: in my peripheral vision, Jen had just walked out, but
Speaker 4: LIKENI I hadn't seen NICKI walk in to it, so
Speaker 4: I thought it was Jen. But yeah, that wasn't It
Speaker 4: wasn't nothing lucky. Nothing happened that could have been quite
Speaker 4: frowned upon.
Speaker 3: That could have been very bad, Yes, very bad. Did
Speaker 3: Nicky and Jen dress similarly?
Speaker 4: Yes, quite a lot like they wear probably the exact
Speaker 4: same clothes. So I've even said, Nicky's done a couple
Speaker 4: of washings for the house and she's mixed me and
Speaker 4: her boyfriend's underwear and clothes together, so we're constantly switching
Speaker 4: like T shirts and that, And I said, I'm not
Speaker 4: a twin let alone a sibling with mirth, so can
Speaker 4: you stop doing it? I don't want to wear his underwear.
Speaker 4: But they all wear earthy tones as well, so it's.
Speaker 1: An earthy household, very earthy, very down to earth.
Speaker 3: Well, look on that note, let's get into.
Speaker 2: Mirroring, Anna, What actually is mirroring?
Speaker 4: Like I've heard this word thrown around a losh, but
Speaker 4: what is it really?
Speaker 1: Okay, So, mirroring is matching someone's behavior, whether it's their voice,
Speaker 1: there were they're nonverbal cues, things like gestures, movements, and
Speaker 1: body posture.
Speaker 2: Do you think you've done this with Michael.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's definitely a big part of me that ends
Speaker 1: up mirroring my partner. I think just like subconsciously, and
Speaker 1: mirroring is subconscious, so you don't mean to do it,
Speaker 1: but I guess like when you're around someone a lot,
Speaker 1: you end up kind of not becoming one because I
Speaker 1: don't want to say that, but you end up picking
Speaker 1: up little habits here and there, and if someone does
Speaker 1: something that you like, you kind of copy it.
Speaker 3: So yeah, what about you?
Speaker 4: Yeah? So I know Jen and I when we thought
Speaker 4: about this topic out of conversation with her, and I
Speaker 4: was like, oh, what have we done? That's like mirroring
Speaker 4: each other a lot of sayings. Jen now will say
Speaker 4: that I say, like I'll ask her or something we
Speaker 4: get thrown around and she says what I say all
Speaker 4: the time. She goes that, you know as POWs, that's
Speaker 4: not my bag, baby, I'll say that if it's something
Speaker 4: that's like not me. So she says that. Now, I mean,
Speaker 4: does it even go as far as like what you eat?
Speaker 4: Because I've now changed my diet a lot with her.
Speaker 4: What Yeah, so she's a vegetarian, So I've now started
Speaker 4: to eat subconsciously because I'm with her a lot more
Speaker 4: vegetable options than before. So you're vegio Now I wouldn't
Speaker 4: say veggio, but like, yeah, I would go for a
Speaker 4: vegeo option because obviously she cooks a lot more than
Speaker 4: I do, so I'll eat vegetarian with her. I've even
Speaker 4: copied her with soy milk in my coffees if you didn't.
Speaker 1: Notice that, Actually, I've coffeed Michael with oat milk. I've
Speaker 1: never drunk oat milk before in my life, but it's
Speaker 1: such a thing for him. And then I used to
Speaker 1: have SIPs of his coffee and I all of a
Speaker 1: sudden drink oat. Now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Jen's even up to her coffee intake the same
Speaker 4: as many as I do. Because you're around someone, you're
Speaker 4: gonna go. They're gonna go get a coffee. You're going
Speaker 4: to get a coffee with them. You're gonna get you
Speaker 4: know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it kind of creates a feeling of comfortability because
Speaker 1: I guess we are designed to be attracted to people
Speaker 1: who are like us. We are living in this society
Speaker 1: map where we have Instagram, we have TikTok. Copycatting and
Speaker 1: mirroring is so common. They are different. So I think
Speaker 1: copying someone is conscious and mirroring is actually subconscious. But
Speaker 1: like think about TikTok. Something goes viral and then everyone
Speaker 1: jumps on the.
Speaker 4: Trend, So that's copying. Do you think people mirror the
Speaker 4: Kardashians or is that copying them?
Speaker 3: Look, I think that the Kardashians. We love the Kardashians,
Speaker 3: we do, don't.
Speaker 1: They are icons, and I think over the years people
Speaker 1: have definitely copied them. Probably there has been some mirroring
Speaker 1: where subconsciously people might see their instagrams or see their
Speaker 1: show and copy like words. I know, like a lot
Speaker 1: of people use the word Bible, which they as in
Speaker 1: like when people say swear to God, instead of saying
Speaker 1: swear to God, they say Bible. There's so many Kardashian
Speaker 1: things that have been picked up throughout the years. I
Speaker 1: would say it's more of a copycat thing, but there's
Speaker 1: definitely an element of mirroring in there. And like, look,
Speaker 1: we live in a society where influencers are so huge,
Speaker 1: and the whole point of an influencer is what.
Speaker 4: Matt to influence people. I mean, I was about to
Speaker 4: say that a lot of content and photos and you'd
Speaker 4: know it as being a model, and there's inspo picks,
Speaker 4: So when you rock to shoot, you have inspo picks.
Speaker 4: I know it sounds brutal, but none of these photos
Speaker 4: are quite original.
Speaker 1: It's not like you're trying to be a copycat of someone.
Speaker 1: If you see something that you resonate with, or you
Speaker 1: like you could subconsciously mirror that and the necklace that
Speaker 1: you got me, even the little m from Sarah and Sebastian.
Speaker 3: Because I get.
Speaker 1: Asked so much where this necklace is from. So many
Speaker 1: people ended up going online and finding like copies of
Speaker 1: this necklace, and then I was doing a Q and
Speaker 1: A and said it was from Sarah and Sebastian, and
Speaker 1: then there were so many people who messaged me being like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I wish I knew this earlier. I've
Speaker 1: gone out and bought one from this brand or another brand,
Speaker 1: a similar one, but not quite this. I mean, we
Speaker 1: all do it, so there's definitely nothing wrong with mirroring.
Speaker 1: I think it's totally natural and it's I think it's
Speaker 1: about getting in and getting ideas and taking all of
Speaker 1: that information and making your own. Has Jen given you
Speaker 1: any new sayings?
Speaker 4: Oh? I don't actually think Jen has. I'm more of
Speaker 4: the person that comes up with the sayings.
Speaker 3: The other influence.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I'm the influence with sayings.
Speaker 1: Okay, so she hasn't taught you any sayings, but she
Speaker 1: obviously has some sort of influence over you being your girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Do you think it's a good influence or a bad influence.
Speaker 3: I mean, you're not gonna say.
Speaker 4: Bad, but I have been in a relationship where they
Speaker 4: have been a bad influence on me.
Speaker 2: You've said this.
Speaker 4: I came out of that relationship a little bit more
Speaker 4: arrying and a little bit more cocky, but than I
Speaker 4: should have been.
Speaker 3: I had to whip you into line.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I definitely had to pull my head in. I
Speaker 4: think though, with relationships, what I am a big sucker
Speaker 4: for or I'm very submissive is probably the word. And
Speaker 4: like I like to mirror is fashion when it comes
Speaker 4: to like dressing, and that I touched on it before
Speaker 4: we jen My wardrobe is very much like hers.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: For some reason, my fashion I don't really not care about,
Speaker 4: but I like let a lot of people have an
Speaker 4: opinion over. So one of my ex she was really
Speaker 4: into tight eye, So fucking out of nowhere, I'm wearing
Speaker 4: a bunch of tight eye.
Speaker 2: My mates are messaging me like what the fuck's going on?
Speaker 4: You don't wear a tight eye, and I'm like yeah,
Speaker 4: but like you know, my girlfriend, it was like, Okay,
Speaker 4: this is cool, this is what's in.
Speaker 1: I mean, that was Lockdown twenty twenty everyone was in tired.
Speaker 2: I yeah, a lot of people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean not a lot of blokes for it,
Speaker 4: or I would not have worn it if I don't
Speaker 4: think I was with my ex at the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Do you think that you influenced in that way? I
Speaker 4: know that you've influenced one of your exes on how
Speaker 4: to dress. You want to touch on that, I was
Speaker 4: with him and his brother, and his brother brought up
Speaker 4: that he was influenced by you on how he dressed.
Speaker 2: Let me say he just said.
Speaker 4: That when you were with Anna, she had an opinion
Speaker 4: on what you wear. Josh admitted that he was lost
Speaker 4: in the way he was dressing anyway, he didn't feel comfortable,
Speaker 4: and then you just brought him to how he felt comfortable.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean he would ask my opinion and he'd
Speaker 1: be like, is this cool? And I'd be like, that's
Speaker 1: not cool, that is cool. Like, you know, I know
Speaker 1: how I like to dress. I always have, and I
Speaker 1: think if someone wants my opinion on how they should dress,
Speaker 1: I'm more than happy to give it. And like as well,
Speaker 1: like if someone's wearing something that you don't think matches
Speaker 1: or is not really your style, you tell them right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 4: I mean I would be brave enough to tell my
Speaker 4: girlfriend to wear Yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 1: Well, look, when me and Michael first met, he basically
Speaker 1: moved into my house very quickly.
Speaker 3: He was staying at my house.
Speaker 1: He was squatting, for sure, and he was staying at
Speaker 1: my house like five six times a week, and so
Speaker 1: he would come over and stay over, and then he'd
Speaker 1: have nothing to wear in the morning. So he started
Speaker 1: wearing my clothes like I have a whole box of trackies.
Speaker 1: I have like so many jumpers and they're all oversized.
Speaker 3: He literally would.
Speaker 1: Rock my clothes and it got to a point where
Speaker 1: he was like, I look better in your clothes in
Speaker 1: my clothes. So I'm literally not gonna wear my clothes.
Speaker 1: And then me and Michael started sharing a wardrobe. I
Speaker 1: was like, dude, I've got no clothes, and honestly, he
Speaker 1: has claimed some of my clothes.
Speaker 4: Like I've noticed that, but at least Michael's wearing your clothes.
Speaker 4: I mean, I've been in relationships where I was wearing
Speaker 4: their ex's clothes the next day.
Speaker 3: No, you have it, did you?
Speaker 4: I still have one of the jumpers, And I remember
Speaker 4: Jen was like Oh, that's a nice jumper, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 4: it's Jard Woodgate's dad's jumper. Dead.
Speaker 2: I was like, he probably wants it back.
Speaker 1: He's probably going to hear this and he's troubly going
Speaker 1: to be like, you need to express posts immediately. Look, Matt,
Speaker 1: there's lots of different ways that you can mirror people,
Speaker 1: whether it's your friends, your family, or anyone in between.
Speaker 3: Queen.
Speaker 1: Some of the things that you do to mirror someone
Speaker 1: is sharing mannerisms, whether you're picking up theirs or they're
Speaker 1: picking up yours.
Speaker 4: Like we said before, it could be your diet. I mean,
Speaker 4: you could change the way you eat, how much you eat,
Speaker 4: what you're eating, just to fit in with your partner.
Speaker 1: Are you sounding the same are you using the same sayings?
Speaker 1: Do you both engage in baby talk? I think that
Speaker 1: one's a bit more partner based.
Speaker 3: Do you guys engage in baby talk?
Speaker 2: Yes, so we have known too, do you guys?
Speaker 3: Yes. I'm actually so embarrassed.
Speaker 1: We're talking about so many like hectic topics on this podcast,
Speaker 1: but I'm embarrassed to admit that me and Michael baby talk.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Jenn and I do as well. It's not often,
Speaker 4: but when we do, it's pretty funny.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do it if anyone else was there, like
Speaker 1: under no circumstances. But it's literally when we're in the
Speaker 1: house alone, like there was a Hitten camera in the house,
Speaker 1: it would be mortified.
Speaker 4: I think a lot of couples are the same as that.
Speaker 4: You've created your own language field with your own inside
Speaker 4: jokes and references. Do you have inside jokes with Michael Eilishly,
Speaker 4: Jen and I have one dating back to literally the
Speaker 4: first morning we woke up together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, your music taste can be the same. You might
Speaker 1: start to like the same artists mm hmm.
Speaker 4: Or your sense of style has changed to suit theirs
Speaker 4: or suit each other's, like we've touched on that's really
Speaker 4: big for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, these are all the positive mirroring signs. But
Speaker 1: what happens when mirroring becomes negative? We're going to be
Speaker 1: talking about that next. So what about the negative side
Speaker 1: of mirroring in relationships? When your partner is mimicking the
Speaker 1: way you show affection, empathy, or even emotion, This could
Speaker 1: be an effort to improve your relationship or exhibit a
Speaker 1: perceived connection and would make it seem like they are
Speaker 1: more invested than they truly are.
Speaker 2: Wow, that seems intense.
Speaker 1: I was thinking back, Matt, and I reckon that every
Speaker 1: toxic relationship that I've ever been in had a lot
Speaker 1: of signs of mirroring and mirroring in like not a
Speaker 1: healthy way. So, for instance, I remember with an ex
Speaker 1: boyfriend of mine, if I ever had an issue with him,
Speaker 1: and I would bring it to the table and I
Speaker 1: would say to him like, Hey, I want to talk
Speaker 1: to you about this. I'm not really happy about this.
Speaker 1: Instead of holding space for me and acknowledging what I
Speaker 1: had said, he would just totally dismiss it. And then
Speaker 1: his response would be, well, I'm glad you brought that
Speaker 1: up because I also have that issue. Or if he
Speaker 1: didn't have that same issue, he would be like, I'm
Speaker 1: really glad you've brought up this problem with me because
Speaker 1: I have a problem with you about this, and then
Speaker 1: would bring up a new issue. And so I feel like,
Speaker 1: for me, that was very toxic mirroring.
Speaker 4: That's pretty bad. Like he got out of that. I
Speaker 4: can kind of relate to the same thing. Whenever I
Speaker 4: would feel any sort of emotion with one of my exes,
Speaker 4: they would then mimic the same emotion, So if I
Speaker 4: was feeling anxious, they had to be more anxious than
Speaker 4: I did.
Speaker 2: Or like I was feeling sad all of a sudden, they.
Speaker 4: Not even like a empathetic way. Yeah, an empathetic way
Speaker 4: like where they're understanding. It was more like they've got
Speaker 4: their own problem now as well.
Speaker 3: I can't deal with it.
Speaker 4: But yeah, and I'm like, just let me have my
Speaker 4: moment and then like we'll get to yours.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: What about with ghosting? We spoke about ghosting recently on
Speaker 1: our podcast Do you Reckon that people mirror the action
Speaker 1: of ghosting, So, for instance, if someone is to ghost you,
Speaker 1: or if someone is to pull away, do you pull
Speaker 1: away as well? Mirror their actions because you're kind of
Speaker 1: like trying to copy them so you don't put yourself
Speaker 1: too far out there.
Speaker 4: That gives me chills about when you're dating people and
Speaker 4: you mirror how they're typing and how they're texting, and
Speaker 4: then if they take too long to type back, you're
Speaker 4: then taking the same amount of time.
Speaker 2: To text back.
Speaker 3: It's a huge part of dating.
Speaker 1: Mirroring it is, and it's exactly how I would date.
Speaker 1: If I was dating someone, I would always give them
Speaker 1: as much as they would give me, never anymore, never
Speaker 1: any less. I would always mirror the amount of effort
Speaker 1: that they were willing.
Speaker 3: To give me.
Speaker 2: Do you think that works.
Speaker 3: Or absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 1: The moment that you give a guy too much, they
Speaker 1: can retreat, and if you don't give them enough, then
Speaker 1: they get too needy. And then I'm a bit grossed
Speaker 1: out because I'm like, ugh, they're too keen.
Speaker 4: I'll admit, you're probably right there if I'm not too
Speaker 4: crazy crash hot on a girl and they start going
Speaker 4: too much or just say he's off. But then if
Speaker 4: they're not giving enough, I will be like, oh y,
Speaker 4: double text and all that sort of stuff, so I
Speaker 4: can see what you do. They Maybe mirroring in that
Speaker 4: way is toxic, but it's not. We hate games, but
Speaker 4: maybe it is the game that you need to play.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And like, mirroring isn't always toxic. Sometimes it's subconscious.
Speaker 1: So I think when mirroring is healthy is when you're
Speaker 1: just trying to make connections with people. You're subconsciously trying
Speaker 1: to align with them, And mirroring plays a huge role
Speaker 1: in getting to know someone and establishing a level of
Speaker 1: comfortability with each other, especially through dating Anna.
Speaker 2: You know, I've done a lot of research about narcissists.
Speaker 1: I feel like when we think that we've been in
Speaker 1: a narcissistic relationship, we all become experts.
Speaker 3: We all have PhDs in narcissism.
Speaker 4: Jen last because every time I hear the word, my
Speaker 4: ears prick up and I'm like, well, do I have
Speaker 4: a story for you?
Speaker 2: I'm like, buckle off, I know everything about it. I
Speaker 2: believe that.
Speaker 4: When someone's mirroring you in a toxic way, it is
Speaker 4: a trait of a narcissist, because I feel like they
Speaker 4: will try to copy you, to pull you in so
Speaker 4: that you think that you have a connection with them
Speaker 4: when you really.
Speaker 3: Don't for sure.
Speaker 1: So they come on strong, but they turn on you
Speaker 1: the second you disappoint them. So the moment that you
Speaker 1: do something that is not up to their expectations, they
Speaker 1: pull that attention away and make you absolutely come running
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 4: All right, So let's talk about some of the narcissistic
Speaker 4: traits of negative mirroring the What are the ones.
Speaker 2: To look out for?
Speaker 3: Okay, this is a personal favorite.
Speaker 1: They talk about how great they are, but they're also
Speaker 1: very insecure deep down.
Speaker 3: That's a huge one.
Speaker 4: Right, that's narcissist flag. They have a lack of empathy,
Speaker 4: or your relationship lacks depth. I've told you my PhD.
Speaker 4: I can go into this for hours.
Speaker 1: They gas like you, skewing your reality and making you
Speaker 1: feel crazy. We've all been there in those narcissistic relationships
Speaker 1: where you know the sky's blue and they try to
Speaker 1: convince you that the sky is.
Speaker 2: Green, and then they call you crazy for not believing them.
Speaker 3: Correct.
Speaker 4: They're always right, and they never apologize, but they can
Speaker 4: do fake apologies.
Speaker 3: Can they.
Speaker 1: I find that if you think that you're dating a
Speaker 1: narcissist and they're showing a lot of negative mirroring signs,
Speaker 1: those toxic mirroring signs, they really struggle to give a
Speaker 1: part and you really have to pull it out of them.
Speaker 4: Well, maybe I was pulling very hard and I got
Speaker 4: it out of them, and it might not have been
Speaker 4: a real apology.
Speaker 1: They also respond negatively when you pull away and want
Speaker 1: to break up with them.
Speaker 4: Yes, and they struggle to build deep relationships, so around them,
Speaker 4: they probably not have a good relationship with their friends
Speaker 4: or their family, and even you, you won't feel like
Speaker 4: you have a deep connection with them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, It's that time of.
Speaker 4: The show where we ask you to ask us where
Speaker 4: our heads are at.
Speaker 1: Let's do it.
Speaker 4: Favorite time of the show, Anna, we get to ask
Speaker 4: our listeners to ask us where our heads are at?
Speaker 4: Do you want to take it away with our first
Speaker 4: listeners question?
Speaker 1: Okay, my friend at work has started to copy all
Speaker 1: my sayings and even my mannerisms. She always treats it
Speaker 1: like an inside joke, but now I'm worried that she's
Speaker 1: being a.
Speaker 3: Little bit creepy.
Speaker 1: Am I being too quick to judge? Does she want
Speaker 1: to just be friends or is there something more more meaning.
Speaker 4: She might have a crush, or is she just doing
Speaker 4: this in a negative way? What angle do you think
Speaker 4: she's coming from here?
Speaker 1: Look To be honest, I think that it's flattering if
Speaker 1: someone puts your taste and personality on such a high
Speaker 1: pedestal that they're willing to copy it. I think you
Speaker 1: can take it as a compliment.
Speaker 4: Or maybe she's just like me. When when it comes
Speaker 4: to fashion and dressing, you do take a lot of
Speaker 4: inspo from the people that you surround yourself with.
Speaker 1: Definitely a lot of my friends. If I see something
Speaker 1: that I'm loving that they put together I'll definitely pull
Speaker 1: inspo from it, so I don't think you need to
Speaker 1: take it in a negative way from what you're saying.
Speaker 1: If there's more to this story, then you might have
Speaker 1: to take a step back. But from me, it sounds
Speaker 1: very harmless.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And if she's saying your sayings and mannerisms you're
Speaker 4: working together, what are you spending like eight hours a
Speaker 4: day together? I wouldn't think too much of it.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's jump into the next one. One of my
Speaker 1: close friends made an offhand comment to me saying, I
Speaker 1: always change to match my boyfriends. What does she mean
Speaker 1: by this? How can I stop mimicking my boyfriend's personality trait.
Speaker 2: Maybe stop hanging out with him?
Speaker 3: Is it really a bad thing?
Speaker 2: No, Well, it depends on what it is.
Speaker 4: If it's something they just how they act, or if
Speaker 4: it's harmless, then yeah. But if she's actually like full
Speaker 4: copying him and he's like a fool, you.
Speaker 1: Know, I think I think the friend sounds a bit jealous.
Speaker 1: If I'm being honest, I think we all copy our partnerhos.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with it as long as you're not
Speaker 1: like a direct replica of him. I think there's nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with a bit of you know, all.
Speaker 4: Right, we're both Kardashian fans, so let's touch on Courtney
Speaker 4: Kardashian fully changing to be with Travis Barker.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's funny because if you look over the years, Courtney's
Speaker 1: style has definitely evolved from when she was dating Scott Dissick.
Speaker 1: She had a very lord yeah the Lord. She had
Speaker 1: a very preppy look. She kind of had her own,
Speaker 1: just like, very plain style when she was single, and
Speaker 1: then now she's gone full punk rock chick and she's
Speaker 1: own and I mean, she's killing it, and it's cool
Speaker 1: to change up your style. It's a different era of
Speaker 1: her life.
Speaker 3: Why not.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And if your boyfriend's there to encourage you and
Speaker 4: what to wear and gives you style tips on your partner,
Speaker 4: then go for Irahim. There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with it in my opinion, as long
Speaker 1: as you're not being forced to wear specific clothes.
Speaker 4: Megan Fox wearing machine gun Kelly's blood around her neck.
Speaker 3: Each to their own.
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, on that note, that's all we have time
Speaker 1: for today.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 1: Just a reminder make sure you check out our Instagram
Speaker 1: and TikTok That's Whar's your head at pod and give
Speaker 1: us a five star review. We are a small podcast
Speaker 1: and these reviews really mean a lot to us, guys.
Speaker 3: Until next time, siyah hi