WEBVTT - Steph Claire Smith flips the script on family planning 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:09.120 Hello, and welcome to Something to Talk About the Stellar podcast. 0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:12.479 I'm Sarah Lamarquin, your host, and every week I sit 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:14.560 down with some of the biggest names in the country 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:18.079 because when Australia's celebrities are ready to talk, they come 0:00:18.160 --> 0:00:22.520 to Something to talk about. When Steph Klaire Smith recently 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:27.280 went public with her ADHD diagnosis on Instagram, she was nervous. 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:30.400 I think even just like talking through. 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:35.600 All of the different ways that like different things have 0:00:35.720 --> 0:00:40.160 impacted my life and how it's like also impacted people 0:00:40.200 --> 0:00:40.640 around me. 0:00:41.360 --> 0:00:44.760 What she wasn't expecting, however, was a huge amount of 0:00:44.800 --> 0:00:47.839 people having very strong opinions on it. 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:50.559 You know, weekly you get some people following you and 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:53.640 unfollowing you, and there's always a bit of a plateau 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:57.480 for me anyway, but there was a massive spike in unfollows. 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:00.160 It's all been part of a very big year for 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:03.800 Steph Claire Smith as her fame has continued to rise, 0:01:04.120 --> 0:01:07.600 so too has her business, named in the Forbes thirty 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:11.000 Under thirty List and the AFI Young Rich List. The 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:14.319 co founder of health and wellness business Kick is now 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:18.920 also expecting her second child. On today's episode, Is Something 0:01:18.959 --> 0:01:22.280 to Talk About, Steph opens up about how her and 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:26.440 her husband's approach to juggling business and babies has sparked 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:30.560 not only conversations among their peer group, but online, and 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:34.600 reflects on why her ADHD diagnosis has come with relief 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:39.440 and not fear. Steph Claire Smith, Welcome to the Stellar podcast. 0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:42.080 Thank you for having me. I'm excited to chat. 0:01:42.160 --> 0:01:44.240 Well, thank you for squeezing us in because you have 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:48.600 had quite the big year. You have been listed in 0:01:48.640 --> 0:01:52.320 the Forbes Australia thirty Under thirty list, name in the 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:57.520 AFI's Young Rich List. In personal news, you've gone public 0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:01.720 with your ADHD diagnosis, and else recently announced that you 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:05.280 and your husband are expecting a second child. I mean, 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:09.160 I'm tired just talking about that. Quite the year stuff. 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:11.920 You've got anything else planned to squeeze in the finals 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:14.399 five weeks of twenty twenty four. 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:18.600 No, no, no, I think that'll I'm just about doing 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:20.600 me for the year. But no, it's been a very 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:24.680 very exciting year, both I suppose for Kick and for 0:02:24.760 --> 0:02:28.920 myself personally. But yeah, some of those awards, like the 0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:31.240 being in the thirty ound of thirty and the Rich 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:34.320 list and everything, it still ceases to amaze me. When 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:36.960 things like that happen, I think back to kind of 0:02:37.360 --> 0:02:40.200 where I thought my life was going when I was 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:43.320 a teenager, and I would have never imagined being in 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:47.440 those kind of magazines or anything so or lists amongst 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:50.800 those kind of people. So it's still very surreal for me, 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:57.320 but it's also such an awesome, awesome opportunity to acknowledge 0:02:57.360 --> 0:03:01.239 how far Kicks come and you know, get the acknowledgment 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:04.840 and celebration that it deserves as a business, which I'm 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:07.720 incredibly proud of, And I think the only thing I 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:10.160 would have loved with both of those achievements is to 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:12.880 have been there with my co founder and my best 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:14.880 mate Laura and get kind of the recognition for the 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:17.280 both of us, because we constantly say to each other 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:20.880 like Kick wouldn't be where it is without either of us, 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:23.519 and I wouldn't be where I am without her, even 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:26.040 in my personal life. So it's been quite a special 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:28.200 couple of months, particularly a lot of those things have 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:30.519 happened not just this year, but in the last couple 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:32.079 of months, so it's been a bit of a whirlwind. 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:34.560 It has very much been a bit of a whirlwind 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:38.960 publicly and clearly in your family as well on the 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:42.240 Baby News. So this is you and your husband Joshua expecting, 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:45.080 as I said, your second child, your son, Harvey, was 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:48.880 born three years ago. What I love Step was when 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:51.760 you were talking about this on your podcast with your 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:55.040 co host Laura on kick Pod. You were talking about 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:57.640 how you get asked as soon as you've had one kid, 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:00.400 like when you're going to have another one. You said, 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:03.200 you just want to remind everyone it's such a delicate question. 0:04:03.720 --> 0:04:05.920 You've got to be careful, you said, because it's not 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:09.280 everyone's choice. It is such a reminder. I think that 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:13.000 we're still very presumptuous with the questions. It's never enough, 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:15.520 is it whatever you're doing, It's always like, when's this 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:17.600 going to happen? What else do you have to share 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:18.040 with us? 0:04:18.520 --> 0:04:18.760 Oh? 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:20.800 Absolutely, And I think when it comes to the question 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:23.520 of when you're going to have another one, people often 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:25.200 also follow it up with you know, it would be 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:27.599 so good for them to have a sibling, and they 0:04:27.600 --> 0:04:30.960 say all this stuff that if you are trying, or 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:32.880 you are hoping, or maybe you've had the bad news 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:34.960 that you if it was something that you wanted, that 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:36.720 it's not going to happen for you. It's like, I've 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:39.520 already thought about the fact that, you know, my little 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:42.159 one might not have a sibling, and that's already something 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:44.839 that I'm dealing with, and now you're kind of saying it, 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:46.560 proving it my point even more and making me feel 0:04:46.600 --> 0:04:48.960 worse about it. So I think it's just I mean, 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:50.920 it even comes down to like asking people if they're 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:52.839 going to have kids at all. Like, at the end 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:54.960 of the day, everyone's really different with how they want 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:57.040 to live their life and the direction that they're going in, 0:04:57.080 --> 0:05:00.640 and their phases and stuff can and the desires can 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:03.080 change as well, and that's totally allowed. But I think 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:06.600 it's still that presumption that if you're going to have one, 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:08.240 then you've got to give him a sibling. 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:10.320 That pressure is a lot to deal with. 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:12.680 And I think for us, I mean, we decided that 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:16.800 once Harvey was born. I mean, it did make an 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:19.359 impact to how I was at work and how I 0:05:19.400 --> 0:05:21.760 felt at work, and also knowing the plans that we 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:25.240 had with the business, I wasn't in a position where 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:28.080 I could, nor did I want to just pop them 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:30.039 out and go again straight away. A lot of my 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:32.599 friends were really keen to kind of do the two 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:34.960 under two and kind of get through that phase of 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:38.320 life of really young kids really quickly and keep them 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:40.080 really close in age. But for me, it was just 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:42.320 I didn't have that desire, and even if I had 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:44.000 the desire, it would have been really really hard with 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:45.360 what we were trying to do with the business. So 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:48.160 pretty soon after he was born, I went straight onto 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:50.000 protection so that. 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:50.279 It didn't happen. 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:53.600 And then when the couple of years on, like I 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:56.880 had that desire, I definitely had always kind of seen 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:59.520 myself having more than one kid. I grew up really 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:01.720 really close with my brother, and I know it doesn't 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:04.520 always end up how you experienced it, but because I 0:06:04.560 --> 0:06:08.680 have such a positive reflection on having a sibling and 0:06:08.720 --> 0:06:11.320 having that family dynamic, it was something that I desired, 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:14.320 and it was something that my partner desired. But with 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:16.440 what we were doing with the business, it just it 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:19.920 was really hard to find that right and appropriate time 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:23.400 that felt good personally in our personal lives but also 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:27.560 made sense for the business. Because there was a time 0:06:27.600 --> 0:06:30.600 when Kick was my baby. I mean, like I refer 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:32.640 to it differently now because I have a human baby 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:34.840 and another on the way, But at the end of 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:38.120 the day, It's been a huge passion of mine still 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:41.600 is to this day, and that was my baby for 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:46.640 such a long time that it does get priority sometimes 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:50.320 over some personal desires. And that is also because I'm 0:06:50.360 --> 0:06:52.279 not alone in it. I've got a team that I'm 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:54.599 responsible for, and I've got a business partner to be 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:58.520 responsible with as well to make sure that the business 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:01.880 kind of keeps ticking along and growing. So, yeah, it 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:05.760 was kind of through this period where we knew it 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:08.039 was something that we wanted, but we didn't really know 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:09.560 what it was going to feel right, And it took 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:13.160 a lot of really open conversations, you know, even between 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:15.920 Laura and I of when that might feel right. And 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:18.720 some of my friends who don't own businesses or aren't 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:22.600 in that space, they were really like a bit confused 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:24.400 with some of those conversations, Like they were like, it's 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:26.480 weird that it has to be so planned and so structured, 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:30.080 Like surely, whatever happens, it'll be and you guys will 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:31.360 just sort it out. And I'm like, yeah, I can 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:34.280 understand why you think that way, but I think when 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:36.920 you're just in that mindset and in that growth stage 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:39.120 as well with the business, you're just so aware that 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:43.760 things like this do really affect the business, so you have. 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:45.200 To be a little bit strategic with it. 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:50.360 It can't just flow maybe as spontaneously as others might 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:52.960 be able to do so. And that's okay because there's 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:55.640 flexibility in other areas from being a co founder. 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:58.480 So yeah, that's how we got to now. 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:03.880 It's such an interesting insight, and I've heard a couple 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:09.200 of other quite successful female founders talk about this concept 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:12.160 as well, and it can make people feel, oh, we 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:14.240 don't need to worry about that, like, just make the 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:16.400 decision that's right for you and your family. But this 0:08:16.600 --> 0:08:19.000 is the decision that is right for you and your family, 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:22.200 if I'm hearing correctly, Steph, is that factoring in what 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:25.280 it means for your business, Your second soon to be 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:29.120 third baby in kick is one of your values. And 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:31.680 I think that's okay because the same way that we 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:35.320 encourage our friends, clearly, like your friends and loved ones 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:37.600 have said, don't worry too much about that. I think 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:40.600 the flip side is also true is if people go, well, 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:43.400 I want to be prioritizing another part of my life 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:46.080 right now, or I actually have a really legitimate business 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:48.959 reason that the time isn't right. I think we've also 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:52.680 got to give one another the grace that that is 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:55.760 also the path to everyone making their own decision. 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.520 Oh absolutely, And I'll be really transparent here. I've always 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:02.840 been the person that is very much like, whatever happens, happens, 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:05.320 we'll sort it out, We'll work through it. I don't 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:08.000 know why I'm that way, Inklind, but I've never been 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:10.720 scared to fail or anything like that, because I just 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:12.800 I've had too many examples in my life where I've 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:14.880 learned so much from it and been able to work 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:17.760 through it. Or hard times aren't that really that hard 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:19.880 compared to some other things, And so I've always kind 0:09:19.880 --> 0:09:21.800 of been a glass half full person. But I think 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:25.480 what happened with the first pregnancy is I might have 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:29.360 been a little naived as to how that might affect 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:32.520 the business or even my relationship with my co founder. 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:35.280 And there was so many times that we didn't have 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:38.720 some of those important honest conversations through that process, and 0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:41.040 I was almost the guinea pig for us both. Like 0:09:41.120 --> 0:09:44.880 Laura still hasn't had a child, She's now put out 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.920 there that it's a desire of hers somewhere in the future. 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:51.640 But when I first had Harvey, that wasn't something that 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:54.800 she could necessarily relate to, and I was also experiencing 0:09:54.840 --> 0:09:57.520 it for the first time. So I think I am 0:09:57.520 --> 0:10:00.200 just a lot more aware now second time around of 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:01.840 the different ways that I can. 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:04.240 Still support the business or support. 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:06.320 Laura, or be really honest and clear with her about 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:09.560 my needs, but also really aware of how it's. 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:10.920 Affecting her or the business. 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:13.920 So yeah, I think all of that is really important 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:16.720 learnings as well, And maybe I was. 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:19.000 A little to go with the flow first. 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:21.120 Time around that now I'm like, Okay, I know what's 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:22.720 going to happen, I know how it might affect it, 0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:24.120 So how can we kind of be a little bit 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:26.720 strategic here and make sure that the impact is not 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:30.440 going to be too too big. Because my personal decisions 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:33.120 and my personal life is important, and my desires, you know, 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:36.520 are really important. I don't want to ever ignore them 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:38.240 because when I have in the past, and when I 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:42.080 have recently, it's made me not a very nice person 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:44.920 towards myself and then also sometimes to others just because 0:10:44.960 --> 0:10:47.839 I feel a little resentful. So I definitely don't want 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:50.120 to not lean into my desires. But it's also about 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:53.079 being very aware of how it affects others for sure. 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:56.600 Something else i'd love to ask you about, Steph is 0:10:56.640 --> 0:11:01.760 how you and Josh have navigated this together as a couple, 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:05.280 and you and Josh decided that he would actually become 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:09.400 primary caregiver for Harvey. And as you've said, the business 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:11.880 has been so successful and it's clearly a model that 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:14.640 has worked for you. I won't ask you, obviously to 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:18.440 speak for Josh, but i'd love to share any reaction 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:19.840 that you've had from people. 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:22.520 Well, when we first kind of started speaking about it, 0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:25.120 because I went back, I started to kind of do 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:29.240 you know, the content the podcast and tune into the 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:31.680 meetings and stuff fairly early, as you do as a founder. 0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:33.679 I mean, everyone's really different with how they take leave, 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:36.240 but I really still wanted to kind of know what 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:38.800 was going on and also share what was happening in 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:41.560 my life as well through content and podcasts. But it 0:11:41.559 --> 0:11:43.600 was probably around six months that I started to actually 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:45.800 physically be back in the office just a couple of 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:47.520 days a week. Then it was three days, and it 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:52.840 was four days and eventually five. So it was kind 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:55.319 of through that transition where I started to be open 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:57.679 about the fact that Josh was at home and at 0:11:57.720 --> 0:12:01.920 the start, Harvey wasn't in daycare. We did cop a 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:03.920 little bit of judgment, but they were just from the 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:06.600 really opinionated trolls that you here online. It wasn't really 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:10.640 from friends or family. I think Josh occasionally would hear 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:13.360 from a lot of his friends hadn't they're not They 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:15.680 weren't in that phase of life yet, so they couldn't 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:18.480 even relate to their partner being pregnant or having a baby, 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:22.480 let alone them being the state home dad in their situation. 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:25.640 But they made a few, you know, jokes to him 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:28.640 about like how if he had a hard day or whatever. 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:30.640 He's like, mate, you will know what hard work is 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:33.600 or whatever, because they just couldn't relate. But I think 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:36.760 he's been really open with them about their experience. And 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:39.600 I think what's really special about that is when they 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:41.760 do have a partner or decide to have kid, and 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:43.960 some of them have now, I think they've got a 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:46.679 little bit more of an idea of if their partner 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:49.040 is the one that stays home from work and does 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:52.000 look after the baby, what's involved with that and how 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:54.560 hard that can be. So that's been really cool as well, 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.800 but it is totally different for him. I mean, I 0:12:57.840 --> 0:12:59.520 formed a little bit of a mother's group. I ended 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:01.840 up not going going through the council one because there 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:03.679 was a couple of women in my area who I 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.320 was kind of already acquaintance with, and we went out 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:08.560 for coffee, got along like a house on fire, and 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:10.600 just was like, Okay, this is our group now. And 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:13.200 I still speak to them almost every week in WhatsApp 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:14.560 and try and catch up when we can. 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:17.320 But and they're everything to me. 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:21.480 But Josh doesn't necessarily have that group of dads he 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:24.559 can continuously catch up with and stuff, so over the 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:26.840 years it has been a little bit isolating for him, 0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:30.160 I would say. But when it comes to the judgment online, 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.320 I think if I think of one particular example, I 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:35.360 remember when Harvey did start daycare, which is when he 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:38.240 was two, I didn't do drop off for like the 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:42.160 first three or four months. And that wasn't just because 0:13:42.200 --> 0:13:44.000 I was nervous of how that was going to go. 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:46.720 Because we were kind of in this really heavy stage 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:49.640 with Harvey where if I was around, he just needed 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:51.640 all of me and like no one else could come 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:54.640 near us. It wasn't just because I knew it was 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:58.000 probably going to be hard, but for work, the hours 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:00.320 of pick up and drop off just didn't work for me. 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:00.840 At that point. 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:02.320 I was already in the current my way to work 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:04.480 when he was kind of getting dropped off, and then 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:08.440 I was not getting home nearly anywhere close to when 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:11.079 pickup would be for him. And sure I could have 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.040 picked him up later, but Josh would have just been 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:14.880 at home anyway in the afternoon, so it was kind 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:17.520 of like I might as well go get him. And 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:22.080 I remember when I first posted about Josh's reaction, because 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:24.760 he kind of went through what a lot of parents 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:26.320 do when they are the first people to you know, 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.440 drop off their kid, and it's really hard, and he 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:32.200 was crying so much because this person who he'd been 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:35.640 with every single day for two years suddenly was in 0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:38.960 someone else's care. I posted about it, and I thought 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:41.160 it was really beautiful and everything, but I got a 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:44.720 few dms from people being like, I can't believe, or 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:46.240 even maybe it was a couple of months later, I 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:48.720 can't believe you still haven't done a drop off or 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:51.760 a pickup, especially that first one. I would have dropped 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:54.840 everything for my kid to do that and I'm like, well, 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:57.200 that's really nice. If that's what you would have done, cool, 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:59.960 that's your prerogative. But I wasn't in a position where 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:02.680 I could do it. The day that he started, we 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.560 had a massive planning day with the team, and it 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:08.440 was just something that I had no flexibility with and 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:10.920 that is what it is. And then from there it 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:13.040 was a decision between Josh and I that it was 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.320 going to be easier through that phase when he was 0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:17.360 finding it difficult for it to be Josh because he 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:19.920 found saying goodbye to Josh at that point a little 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:23.360 easier than saying goodbye to me. So that does come 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:25.600 up every now and again, and of course it feeds 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:29.080 into the guilt a little bit, but I try and 0:15:29.120 --> 0:15:30.960 ignore it as much as I can, and I think 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:33.760 the only time it really hits me is when maybe 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:36.520 I'm feeling vulnerable because something else is going on, and 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:38.560 I'm just yes, things like that might hit me a 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:40.800 little bit harder, But at the end of the day, 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:42.680 I kind of put myself in a position where if 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:45.120 I heard my friend was getting spoken to like that, 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:48.640 I'd have some pretty quick words to say to support them, 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:51.400 and I just try and do that for myself definitely. 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.440 Well, I don't know you, Stef. We haven't really spoken 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:57.000 before today, and even when you're telling that, I felt 0:15:57.000 --> 0:16:01.640 myself feel really protective and outraged on your behalf. So 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:04.440 that's right, Steph. I'd love to also speak to you 0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:07.640 a little bit about bounce back culture, specifically with one 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:10.840 of the programs that you work on at Kick, which 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:14.520 of course has been Kick Bump, and for you particularly 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:17.360 and for Laura as well, of course, with your shared 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:23.600 background obviously having modeling and fitness, and then knowing that 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:28.000 there's this really lovely middle ground that you're capturing between 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:31.440 taking care of yourself and not having to sacrifice your 0:16:31.520 --> 0:16:35.120 fitness or time to yourself or your well being because 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:38.160 you're a mother, if that's a part that a person 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:42.440 chooses to go down. But then this pressure, which obviously 0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:46.200 you know, body image, body fascism is not a new concept. 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:48.920 Certainly don't need to tell somebody that has worked as 0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:52.080 a model how bad it is. What are your thoughts 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:55.000 on bounce back culture and how you, as a high 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:57.080 profile woman of navigate that. 0:16:57.920 --> 0:17:00.200 Yeah, I mean I hate the bounce back culture, I think. 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:03.240 So. We actually did a poll and about fifteen thousand 0:17:03.360 --> 0:17:05.680 women in our community answered it, and four and five 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:08.000 of them felt that pressure to bounce back after they'd 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:13.119 had a kid, which is horrible. And it's basically what 0:17:13.200 --> 0:17:15.440 annoys me so much about it. And as you kind 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:18.080 of touched on, I have gone through my own journey 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:21.639 of my body image and disordered eating, and what I 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:25.119 learned through that was just that it is so not 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:28.119 worth it, like where you end up with your mental 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:30.840 health and your energy and everything like that, when you 0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:33.879 try and sacrifice so much or do absolutely anything in 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.760 your power to look a certain way, you just rarely 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:39.880 ever get to a point where you're actually happy. And 0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:42.840 so with kick Bump, the whole reason we launched it, 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:44.520 I mean, for a couple of years, there were people 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:46.560 in our community who were falling pregnant and were asking 0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:48.560 the question, you know, what content in the app is 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:52.440 suitable for me during my pregnancy or getting back into exercise. 0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:54.040 So it was something that was on our radar, but 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.760 Laura and I couldn't necessarily relate to those women because 0:17:57.800 --> 0:18:00.560 neither of us had been through it. And I felt 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:04.159 pregnant and started to look more in detail into what 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:06.879 was out there for pregnant women and then, of course 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:11.440 the postpartum period. I got really angry because a lot 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:17.200 of the pregnancy programs were very regimented and the wording 0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:19.520 around it just didn't seem very right. And I know 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:22.160 from speaking to some of my friends that everyone's pregnancy 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:24.719 is so wildly different, and so it just felt so 0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:28.480 weird that there was such a prescribed kind of program 0:18:28.520 --> 0:18:30.560 that was so obviously not going to work for so 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:33.240 many people. A lot of them were really long workouts, 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:35.680 some of them were even Yeah, it was just didn't 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:38.119 seem right to me, and I think what I loved 0:18:38.200 --> 0:18:40.840 is just listening to my body. And I mean, I'm 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:43.960 super fortunate to have access to, you know, the experts 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:45.920 that we do with KICK that if I ever needed 0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:47.760 extra assistance, I could reach out to them. But it 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:49.800 was through that that I learned, Okay, there needs to 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:51.879 be a lot more education out there and support for 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:55.520 these women. And then postpartum, I think what angered me 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:58.600 the most was almost every program out there was about 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:01.800 getting your body back, like using those words in that term. 0:19:02.000 --> 0:19:05.679 And I was really angered by this because like the 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:08.600 media does enough to pressure you into feeling that way 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:11.359 and to feeling that that is something that. 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:12.239 You should focus on. 0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:15.919 You didn't need fitness programs to also add into that 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:18.959 kind of insecurity. And I think, as someone who had 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:22.679 had you know, body image issues before and everything, I 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:26.480