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Speaker 1: So have you ever gotten to work after a school

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Speaker 1: drop off that had a bit of a shitty interaction

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Speaker 1: with your kid as they said goodbye, and like you

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Speaker 1: kind of still got that with you as you get

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Speaker 1: to work.

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Speaker 2: You end up carrying it through your day a bit,

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Speaker 2: don't you. It affects your choices, but at least the

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Speaker 2: first part of the day. What about the other way?

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Speaker 1: Do you ever get home from work and you've still

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Speaker 1: got the stink of a shitty EQ three report on you,

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Speaker 1: or someone at work is white, anti you or whatever,

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Speaker 1: and you end up being short with your partner, or

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Speaker 1: cranky with your kids, or not present to what's going on.

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Speaker 1: I've been thinking a lot about this lately, in ways

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Speaker 1: to change how we can be for ourselves and to

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Speaker 1: the people around us at both ends. And it's all

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Speaker 1: about It's all about the transitions. What do I remember

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Speaker 1: by that?

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Speaker 2: I'll tell you after the break.

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Speaker 1: Good day. Thanks so much for listening. This is better

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Speaker 1: than yesterday, making it better every episode since twenty thirteen.

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Speaker 2: My names Oshi Gains. But I am a podcaster. I'm

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Speaker 2: a best selling author.

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Speaker 1: I'm a TV host, a documentary maker, a dad, a stepdad,

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Speaker 1: a husband, a compost, bin empty or a worm farmer,

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Speaker 1: a gluten free bagel toaster, a keynote speaker, deliverer, and

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Speaker 1: a person that is, according to his wife, finally getting

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Speaker 1: a butt once again.

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Speaker 2: Two years post surgery. Thank you, honey, Thank you for noticing.

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Speaker 1: I have been working on it a long time, taking

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Speaker 1: a long time to get those muscles to step back on.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for listening.

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Speaker 1: Just a note up the top here let you know

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Speaker 1: that I now have a substack, Yes, and do.

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Speaker 2: I'd love you to get on board.

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Speaker 1: I'd love you to get on board the substack because

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Speaker 1: theres some things coming down the pipe, particularly when it

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Speaker 1: comes to my writing and such.

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Speaker 2: I'd love you to come along for the ride.

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Speaker 1: There's a free tier and there's a paid tier, and yes,

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Speaker 1: we do advertise on the show. However, in the current

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Speaker 1: situation that I am in, an income stream like substack

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Speaker 1: is something that we can plan around because the advertising

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Speaker 1: new changes from months to month. But an income stream

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Speaker 1: like substack can be far more predictable and farm a

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Speaker 1: regular and that is really important when it comes to

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Speaker 1: paying everybody and sleeping well at night. Because this now

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Speaker 1: is my full time job, it's my regular gig. I

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Speaker 1: really want to keep doing it. I love giving you

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Speaker 1: what I do every week, and I would very much

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Speaker 1: love to repay your support by giving you exclusive content

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Speaker 1: for the support that you give me. And Oshiginsberg dot

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Speaker 1: substack dot com is the link and you can finder

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Speaker 1: in the show notes right now. Speaking of keynotes, I've

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Speaker 1: actually just come back from a keynote today. I delivered

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Speaker 1: it to a wonderful group of people at one of

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Speaker 1: the larger city councils here in Sydney. It was an

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Speaker 1: excellent afternoon and wonderful mix of the high vis pothole

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Speaker 1: road crew type dudes and the park looker after people

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Speaker 1: and the office based kind of governance people and the

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Speaker 1: finance people, and it was really it was a cracking day.

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Speaker 1: And one of the things that we spoke about was

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Speaker 1: putting a space between you and work. In Australia, we

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Speaker 1: now have the right to disconnect from work in some cases,

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Speaker 1: which is a great start, but it's also quite useful

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Speaker 1: to have some strategies to make sure that we can

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Speaker 1: do that mentally as well. I like to systemize things

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Speaker 1: to make sure they just happen, and generally try to

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Speaker 1: put the thing I want to do more of in

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Speaker 1: between two things I already do, and.

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Speaker 2: That generally makes it happen.

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Speaker 1: For example, I know I need to take something with

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Speaker 1: me when I'm learning the house, I put it by

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Speaker 1: the door. So the thing that I want to do

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Speaker 1: is take this thing with me. I leave it by

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Speaker 1: the door, so I can't leave the house without grabbing it.

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Speaker 1: So similarly, I kind of systemize these transitions as.

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Speaker 2: Much as I can.

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Speaker 1: And since I started in radio, I was thinking about

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Speaker 1: this last night. Since I started in radio, whenever possible,

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Speaker 1: whenever I can, I have either ridden or walked or

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Speaker 1: ridden a skateboard to and from work whenever I like.

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Speaker 1: I Sometimes I live way too far away, but as

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Speaker 1: often as I can, if I can, I'll ride a

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Speaker 1: bicycle mostly to work.

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Speaker 2: And what I find is.

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Speaker 1: That whatever problems I had at home were gone by

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Speaker 1: the time I got to my shift.

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Speaker 2: And whatever malarkey I've been dealing with at work was

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Speaker 2: gone by the time I'd gotten home.

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Speaker 1: A couple of years back, when I did Brecky Radio

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Speaker 1: and Brisbane, I lived miles away.

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Speaker 2: I lived in Ipswich. It's not even the same. It

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Speaker 2: was a long way away.

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Speaker 1: And so I've got a cheap little folding bike you know,

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Speaker 1: it was actually really cool.

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Speaker 2: And I'd ride that.

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Speaker 1: To and from the train station, so it's like ten

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Speaker 1: or twelve minutes from the house and ipswitch to the

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Speaker 1: train on the train and then literally five seven minutes

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Speaker 1: to the radio station and same by other side.

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Speaker 2: And that was enough.

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Speaker 1: That little buffer, including the train ride, was enough to

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Speaker 1: make it a lot better. And the science behind this

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Speaker 1: is actually really robust as to like why it feels better,

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Speaker 1: because our brains are so fascinating. It's something as simple

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Speaker 1: as just moving forward through space, walking or cycling or

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Speaker 1: jogging that has been proven to boost creative problem solving.

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Speaker 1: It increases feelings of progress, It gives you a feeling

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Speaker 1: of freedom. The endorphins that get released due to the

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Speaker 1: exercise help reduce your stress hormones, and you're tapping into

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Speaker 1: something quite primitive because we're wired to explore where we

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Speaker 1: are where we are because we are unsatisfied with the

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Speaker 1: current solutions. We are interested and we're curious, and we

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Speaker 1: like exploring human beings until we get this huge feeling

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Speaker 1: of satisfaction and motivation from moving forward through space, going

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Speaker 1: for a walk outside, riding a bike or running.

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Speaker 2: All we need to do with is shoes. That's it.

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Speaker 2: You just need shoes. Now.

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Speaker 1: If you commute under your own power, essentially you're systemaizing

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Speaker 1: that transition between work and home. But I know that

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Speaker 1: not everybody can do this, but you can at the

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Speaker 1: releast be more aware of your transitions between work and

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Speaker 1: home because it's all about managing the transitions. Putting a

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Speaker 1: space between work and home can change a lot. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I look at Wolfgangs. Sometimes she's five now, and sometimes

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Speaker 1: as a parent, you go, oh, I'm vastly mentally superior

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Speaker 1: to you.

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Speaker 2: I have so much more emotional control, which is true.

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Speaker 1: In some cases but no other cases, Like I'm no

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Speaker 1: better than him. If we're going to leave the house,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go somewhere with Audrey. If she suddenly

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Speaker 1: walks in and says, all right, I'm ready, I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: what I kin'd of literally need her to give me

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Speaker 1: a time call and go okay, ten minutes and we're

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Speaker 1: going to leave.

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Speaker 2: To get my head around the fact.

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Speaker 1: That I'm no longer to be doing this the home stuff,

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to actually get out of the house

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Speaker 1: and go somewhere. Think about last time you asked a

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Speaker 1: little kid to leave the park all right, you can

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Speaker 1: just say okay, we're going You went okay, mate, we're

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Speaker 1: five minutes out. In five minutes, you're going to hear

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Speaker 1: the duck wlanck whank, and then we're going to jet.

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Speaker 2: So you know, okay, two minutes Bud.

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Speaker 1: Like you, we have to manage how they get their

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Speaker 1: heads around going to think about last time we tried

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Speaker 1: to take a phone off.

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Speaker 2: Of them or an iPad.

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Speaker 1: Right. Similarly, we need to manage how we change from

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Speaker 1: one headspace to another headspace, work to a home or

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Speaker 1: a home to work. And I've got some ideas about

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Speaker 1: how you can do that. I'll tell you after the break.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for listening.

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Speaker 1: I really appreciate you being here today on this Friday

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Speaker 1: of the thirteenth of September.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure there's something.

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Speaker 1: Good or bad luck about today's like today. I can't

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Speaker 1: I can't remember make a good movie title, that's sure.

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Speaker 1: So we're talking about transitioning in and out of work.

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Speaker 1: And let's say, for example, right, and we've all been

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Speaker 1: there when work's really shitting you, it's difficult, just hypothetically,

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Speaker 1: if work is really shitting and you.

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Speaker 2: Come home and you know, you're.

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Speaker 1: Just all kind of cranky and crabby, and you're in

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Speaker 1: your phone and you know, trying to write angry emails

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Speaker 1: or whatever. You're not there for your partner who you

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Speaker 1: haven't say all day, or your kids or whatever.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, not being great.

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Speaker 1: But what if you work from home. I do heed

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Speaker 1: to work from home right now, like heaps of it.

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Speaker 1: So my transition, it's very difficult to system why I

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Speaker 1: can't ride a bicycle upstairs. My transition from this office

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Speaker 1: to upstairs. When I hear the stomping of wolfcan coming home,

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Speaker 1: it's about thirty seconds.

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Speaker 2: That is not long enough.

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Speaker 1: I need a bit more time to recalibrate, especially if

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Speaker 1: I've been dealing with some stressful stuff.

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Speaker 2: And lately there's been a bit of that, all right.

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Speaker 1: There's some interesting and challenging things that we're facing, you know,

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Speaker 1: so it's tricky to make sure that I'm in the

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Speaker 1: right headspace. He doesn't give a shit about what spreadsheets say.

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Speaker 1: He just goes dad, and I want to be sure

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Speaker 1: that I'm there for him. Right So when you're done

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Speaker 1: for the day, before you leave your home office, or

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Speaker 1: if you've commuted home, before you walk into your house,

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Speaker 1: just put a timer on your phone two minutes and

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Speaker 1: just notice what you're noticing to a couple of deep breasts.

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Speaker 1: Just notice what you're noticing your feet and your socks,

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Speaker 1: the sound of them, magpie that you know. Oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: feeling a bit annoyed about that email at Karen sent

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Speaker 1: or whatever. I'm just noticing right to a couple of

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Speaker 1: deep breasts. And remember, who do you want to be when.

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Speaker 2: You're at home? Who do you want to be for

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Speaker 2: the people that are there? What do you want to

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Speaker 2: achieve between now and when you go to bed?

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Speaker 1: And then you know, yeah, you can set a goal

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Speaker 1: around this, you could, you know, I want to make

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Speaker 1: my partner laugh. I want to be I want to

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Speaker 1: surprise and delight my kid with you know, something they

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Speaker 1: weren't expecting or something like make a little game out

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Speaker 1: of it.

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Speaker 2: Right, see how you go? But what about the other side.

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Speaker 1: What if you when you've woken up, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: what if you know you've forgotten to take the bins

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Speaker 1: out and your partners in your case, because this is.

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Speaker 2: Just another example you can't be relied on for anything.

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Speaker 1: I mean, look, you can, but when people are emotional,

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Speaker 1: they tend to describe how it feels not how it is.

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Speaker 2: And I know you took the bins out last week,

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Speaker 2: but you know you never take them out. That's not true,

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Speaker 2: but it feels like you never take them out, So

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Speaker 2: I know how it is. Right.

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Speaker 1: It's difficult because you might have been on the way

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Speaker 1: to work just muttering all the things that you wish

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Speaker 1: you would have said the whole way to work, or worse,

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Speaker 1: angrily drafting the texts that you're going to send as

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Speaker 1: soon as you're out from behind the wheel, you know,

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Speaker 1: and then you walk in and work with that.

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Speaker 2: Stink all over you. It's not good for you.

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Speaker 1: It's not good for your team, or your boss, or

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Speaker 1: your employees, or your clients. It's not good for anybody.

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Speaker 1: So think about that transition when you get into work.

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Speaker 1: Taking a box breath, right, so four in, hold it,

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Speaker 1: four out, hold it, two three of them. It's just

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Speaker 1: a bit over half a minute. Just notice what you notice,

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Speaker 1: and just think about who it is that you want

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Speaker 1: to be, what achievable goals you can set yourself today,

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Speaker 1: and just try to keep track of it, really write

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Speaker 1: it down.

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Speaker 2: This stuff works, it really does.

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Speaker 1: Systematizing that transition between work and home can be very

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Speaker 1: very useful because then you don't really have to think

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Speaker 1: about it. Like if you take your work close to

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Speaker 1: gym and go directly to work from there, then and

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Speaker 1: you've a made it to gym and be put a

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Speaker 1: space in between your home and your work, or if

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Speaker 1: you've got a gym near your work if it's walking distance.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. You could do like I do with

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Speaker 2: the thing I've got to leave the house with.

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Speaker 1: If you park your car on the other side of

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Speaker 1: your gym, walk through your gym, put your car key

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Speaker 1: in a locker at the gym and then lock it up,

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Speaker 1: and then take that key with you With your gym

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Speaker 1: clothes in the locker, then you've got no choice but

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Speaker 1: to go back into the gym and grab your stuff

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Speaker 1: and look.

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Speaker 2: While you're there, you may feel like working out, but

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Speaker 2: by the time.

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Speaker 1: You're in the locker room and you go to everything look,

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Speaker 1: you're far more likely to get changed and train because

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Speaker 1: you know you always feel better enough to do it.

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Speaker 2: There's the classics.

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Speaker 1: You get off the bus a couple of stops early,

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Speaker 1: get off the train stop early and walk. It's safe obviously,

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Speaker 1: stop off at a park for a walk with a mate.

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Speaker 1: On the way home when you're meeting someone and there's

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Speaker 1: a moment to decompress and debrief with somebody, but you

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Speaker 1: might be thinking, oh, but I've got to pick this

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Speaker 1: up and do that and figure it out.

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Speaker 2: But you're too busy, all.

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Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, fair, I understand that. I understand that. My

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Speaker 1: mum and dad were both doctors. My mum work in

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Speaker 1: general practice. My father was a heoratologist. My mum was

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Speaker 1: a doctor of her whole life. And she used to

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Speaker 1: tell her patients she yeah, interestingly, she would say, okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, so you're telling me you don't have time, right,

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Speaker 1: If you don't have time for thirty minutes a day

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Speaker 1: of exercise, you'd better make time to be dead for

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Speaker 1: twenty four hours a day.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: She had a way of speaking to patients that were

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Speaker 1: somewhat unconventional, but it was effective, that's for sure. I

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Speaker 1: personally wouldn't be so full on with the message, but

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Speaker 1: perhaps rework it to say, make time to transition in

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Speaker 1: and out of your work in your home, or make

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Speaker 1: way more time to repair the damage that's caused by

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Speaker 1: bringing poor decision making or emotional energy that doesn't belong

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Speaker 1: into either one of those domains.

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Speaker 2: It's up to you make time for it.

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Speaker 1: I promised it'll be worth it and it will change

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Speaker 1: how both work and home feel. It really well, let

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Speaker 1: me know how you go. I'd love to know you

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Speaker 1: can do that. Are just hitting the message button on

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Speaker 1: the substack. You can drop me a day, or you

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Speaker 1: can reply to any of the articles. I say the

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Speaker 1: more Oshginsberg dot substack dot com. I put the link

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Speaker 1: in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening.

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Speaker 1: Good luck with your transitions. I'd love to hear how

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Speaker 1: they went. I didn't make the show alone. A bunch

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Speaker 1: of people help me do it, and here are their

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Speaker 1: names in credit form read by an AI of some

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Speaker 1: kind of accent.

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Speaker 3: This episode was brought to you by Andy Maher on

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Speaker 3: audio post production, Big say ed on video post production

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Speaker 3: to Hyder on music.

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Speaker 2: Our producer is Brie Steele.

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Speaker 3: Usher's executive function assistant is Monica Chapman. Sign up to

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Speaker 3: the regular newsletter and get every episode ever at Oshaginsburg

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