WEBVTT - SUPPORTING YOUR FRIENDS THROUGH HARD TIMES 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.200 I can't go on the sauna because I'm pregnant, and I. 0:00:02.160 --> 0:00:04.240 Can can't go on the sauna if you're pregnant, Matt, 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:06.520 Thank god, I'm never getting pregnant. 0:00:12.320 --> 0:00:13.160 Where's Your Head At? 0:00:13.240 --> 0:00:17.959 Is a podcast that talks full things right, Hold on 0:00:18.000 --> 0:00:19.919 a sec, let's give this a refresh. 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:23.959 Hi, I'm Anna and. 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:26.639 I'm Matt, and we are now too newlywed not to 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:29.440 each other. Just a female and male best friend here 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:32.199 for the good, the bad, and the ugly times and. 0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:36.280 Exploring adulthood, family relationships, dilemmas. 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:38.479 And whatever else we have the mental capacity to deal with. 0:00:38.800 --> 0:00:39.800 Come get the lowdown. 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:41.760 This is your male and female perspective. 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:44.320 So, Matt, where's your head At? 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:47.640 Morning? Anna? 0:00:48.000 --> 0:00:50.720 Good morning? How are you today? 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:54.520 What the best? Well? I'm good, but I burnt my tongue. 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:56.680 You know when you're burn your tongue. I took a 0:00:56.720 --> 0:00:59.440 sip of my green tea on the way in. I 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:01.960 normally top it up with a little bit of cold water, 0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:04.880 but I don't know. I was feeling ambitious today and 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:06.160 it was still hot. By the time I got to 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:07.880 the studio, it was still boiling hot. It took a 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:08.560 sip and it burned. 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:09.479 My tiping hard. 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:11.600 Yeah, I love my herbal teas though, you know me. 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:14.880 Yeah, I'm getting back on the herbal teas now. I've 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:18.959 actually just come from the hospital straight to the Novas 0:01:18.959 --> 0:01:22.720 studios to record this thank you. I would like around 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:23.319 or clause. 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:26.080 She does it for everyone, she does it for you. 0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:31.760 So long story short, I have been really low in 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:36.240 iron and my ob gave me two weeks to get 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:39.679 it up. I was taking supplements and they just weren't 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:40.280 agreeing with me. 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:41.440 And did you eat? 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:45.320 I ate a lot of steak. 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:47.400 So the supplements didn't work. They were making me feel nauseous. 0:01:47.560 --> 0:01:49.200 So I was like, Okay, I'm gonna get all of 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:50.400 my iron from food. 0:01:50.480 --> 0:01:51.440 So I was eating. 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:59.240 Spinach, steak, beef, pork, everything, and yeah, it still went down. 0:01:59.360 --> 0:02:02.200 So this morning I went into the hospital and had 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:06.280 an iron transfusion. I was completely fine about it. 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:11.000 So iron transfusion, Yes, what does that look like? Are 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:13.239 they sticking iron into your veins? 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:14.520 Yeah? 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:18.120 So basically what they do is they put a drip 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:22.000 into my hand with just salt water because they have 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:26.440 to get the vein right because this iron, which I 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:28.480 didn't know any of this until this morning, So I 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:31.679 had a little anxiety attack when they told me this. 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:35.400 So they put the needle into the hand and then 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:39.079 they put salty water through your veins to make sure 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:41.919 it's actually getting into the veins and not going into 0:02:41.960 --> 0:02:46.800 the skin. If this needle goes into the skin, it 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:53.560 causes permanent skin stating. Permanent so it's like a tattoo. 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:56.840 You can look it up on Google. I didn't look 0:02:56.880 --> 0:02:59.200 it up at the time, and I was like, how 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:03.320 permanent is this? Like I'm like, could I get laser 0:03:03.800 --> 0:03:06.440 tattoo removal on it if it's a tattoo? And they're like, yeah, 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:08.760 like you could do that, but it's it's like a tattoo, 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:12.520 it's like permanent. So I started kind of freaking out. 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:14.799 I was like, oh my god, not because of the 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:16.880 iron transition, because I didn't want to have a permanent 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:20.360 tattoo on my hand. And you know how big I 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:23.120 am with not having bad faked tan on my hands, 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:26.320 Like I'd always like them my hands to look like 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:29.000 you would never see me with like orange knuckles or 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:29.600 like bad. 0:03:30.280 --> 0:03:32.840 I do find that quite ikey, Yeah, that's a. 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:36.600 Nick an it is it's one of my eggs. Like 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:40.840 if t is not it and sometimes look as someone 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:43.040 who is a tanner. It is hard to be one 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:46.960 hundred percent all the time. I looking good, But there's 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:50.160 tricks I used to can do when you used to 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:51.520 turn these tann every day. 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:53.360 Wow. No, but I used to do the full body 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.120 loose ones when I had wrestle, so i'd come up tanned. 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:58.360 One of my exes said, you do that with your knuckles. Yeah, 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:00.520 rub the midst of my knuckle was like that. 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:00.880 Yeah. 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:03.080 I wouldn't mit tan though, because it can look a bit. 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:10.040 Gloves. She used to like latex gloves. Yeah, yes, never 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:11.080 to face either. 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:16.160 Yeah, no goldie beer. Anyway, after I had it down 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:19.719 this morning, I looked up what it would look like 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:23.440 if you got the iron staining on your hands, and 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:25.800 it literally, I could you know. It just looks like 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:29.400 bad fake tan hands. And I was like, oh my god, 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:32.200 that is literally. If I would have seen that before, 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:33.120 I would have said. 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:35.560 Don't worry about it. I'm not doing it. 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:37.760 What is the eye? Is it in someone's blood? You 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:39.320 didn't make me think it was in someone's blood. They 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:40.480 give you a blood transfusion. 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:43.200 I thought it was a blood transfusion, but it's actually not. 0:04:43.360 --> 0:04:47.320 So they have this like dark purple. It does look 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:50.200 like blood, but it's not. It's like a dark, purply 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:52.839 red bag of medicine. 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:54.960 And yeah, they just. 0:04:55.880 --> 0:04:59.919 I guess put it through intravenously, so through the drip 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:03.279 plus five hundred dollars. I do have private health insurance 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:05.159 as well, so I don't know what that covered, but 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:09.280 I had a five hundred dollars excess. And I actually 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:12.119 so the reason why you get it is because when 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:16.720 you're pregnant, the baby just takes so much of it sacrifice, 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:19.040 the sacrifice, it takes all of them. He takes all 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:22.039 of my good stuff, all of my nutrients. So I've 0:05:22.080 --> 0:05:25.040 just got so low and I'm so exhausted, like so tired, 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:27.240 and I have so much going on at the moment 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:29.599 that I just don't have time well hopefully to be 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:30.400 exhausted back. 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:32.160 When do they reckon it starts to kick in. 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:33.599 Well that's what I was gonna say. 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:35.560 I literally thought I was going to be hop skipping 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.040 and jumping out of there with like the most energy. 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:40.640 But apparently process it, your body would have to break 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:41.080 it down. 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:44.880 Well, some of us aren't that smart. Mat Apparently it 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:45.760 takes two weeks. 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:48.600 Well, you can going straight into your veins that it 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:51.400 would hit it like, not two weeks, it would be 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:52.920 like a couple of days. 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:54.200 Apparently two weeks. 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:56.039 If you jog or anything and you go on the sauna, 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:58.159 get your blood flowing, would help it. 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:00.560 I can't go on the sauna because I'm pregnant, and I. 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:03.840 Can't go on the sauna if you're pregnant. Thank god, 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:04.880 I'm never getting pregnant. 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:08.880 It's like your one true love this song. 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:11.479 Did you fill in the form that, like in that 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:14.440 sense where you have to answer the questions? It was 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:18.160 like something you can't live without. What do you say 0:06:18.200 --> 0:06:19.400 for star? Star sign? 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:20.600 My star sign? 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:22.279 Taurist I said, superstar? 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:24.719 Oh my god? 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:27.800 Did you get that? 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:30.160 The dad jokes are coming in hard and far? 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:37.279 It was pretty all right? Well Anna, yes, have you 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:38.960 heard about the IKEA Challenge? 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:39.839 No? 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:43.520 Okay, So it's apparently it's a test for relationships. You know, 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:45.880 we like to bring up theories on this podcast. I 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:47.800 actually saw it in episode of thirty Rock I've been 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:53.440 watching that I've mentioned. It's a show that Tina Fey wrote. 0:06:54.120 --> 0:06:58.039 She stars co stars alongside Alec Baldwin. Right, and it's 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:01.400 They've got a show on NBC so it's she's written 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:04.080 it from her time writing on SNL and it's sort 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:05.760 of like mimic out. They have like a live show 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:08.080 and it's just like all the drama that comes with it. Yeah, 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:11.000 but she has a partner on there who's actually played 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.280 by we're talking about this before the James Madison, who's 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:17.640 the main guy on Hairspray. They go to Ikia and 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:20.480 they're like, will our relationship survive a trip to a Kia? 0:07:20.640 --> 0:07:22.720 So apparently if you go to Ikea with partner, have 0:07:22.800 --> 0:07:25.160 you been with Michael? Yes, how'd you go? 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:27.160 We love it? I love Ikia. 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:31.040 Well, then you're gonna you're gonna survive the test of time. Apparently, 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:33.920 when a relationship goes there, it puts you onder turmoil 0:07:34.000 --> 0:07:37.320 because you can't decide what you want what you get. 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:40.480 It's all like intense, like you know, you're walking around 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:42.840 looking at different stuff, like you might realize that you 0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:46.040 like this design or something they like something else, and 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:47.800 you know how it's just amazed and you can't get 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:50.000 out anyway and you've got to go through the whole thing. 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:53.280 You're making it sound really anxious, but that's not how 0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:55.280 I view it like that. 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:59.280 I like literally, if we're going to Ikea, I'm excited. 0:07:59.360 --> 0:07:59.920 I'm like, we're. 0:07:59.840 --> 0:08:02.920 Going on a road trip to Ikea. We get there, 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:07.120 we spend like an hour or so just browsing, looking around, 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.600 having fun. Then I'm heading to the meatball section. 0:08:10.200 --> 0:08:12.600 Meat poles get me every time. I'd love it. Let's 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:15.080 not get onto the meatballs because I'm starving as it is, and. 0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:15.680 I love it. 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:17.640 Like, I'd love to go to Ikea right now, get 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:20.480 the Nash meatballs Cranberry Source Delicious. 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:23.080 Well, I've never been to Ikea with Tammy. I've been 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:24.880 with X's before. 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:27.440 Yeah, did you have fights? 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:32.640 I with that far now? We thought a lot. I 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:35.679 don't remember an actual fight about anythink we probably did. 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:36.080 I reckon. 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:37.920 I mean, when you're always fighting, it's hard to really 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:38.720 pinpoint like. 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:42.800 What the actual argument was about. Yeah, but then they say, 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:47.200 if you survive Ikea, say you decide and you go 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:50.600 through Ikea and you decide what you want the furniture. 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:55.240 The second test comes when you bring that flat pack home. 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:58.600 Yeah, that's where I would have the issues, right the issue? 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:01.840 But are you a flat packer? 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:05.720 No, I'm an air what is it called air tasker 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:09.320 type of gal and I've only learned that through mistakes 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:12.320 of trying with Michael to do flat packs. 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:15.080 You didn't have about Jermin argument about is Michael Michael handyman? 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:20.600 You know what, Once upon a time I feel so bad. 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:23.040 Once upon a time I did stay to him, you're 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:26.160 not that handy, And those were my dying words. 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:30.360 Because he has improved himself ever since. He's pretty handy. 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:30.600 Now. 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:33.880 I am not a handy man. I never claimed to be, 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:36.280 and I never will try and prove myself to be one. 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:37.720 But you do have the air task. 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:40.400 Yeah, I do have the air task. Tammy said to me, 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:42.160 You're not handy at all, and I said, no, I'm 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:45.880 fucking not. Like I don't want to be. I don't 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:49.000 try and reverse psy colleage me. Don't bake me. I'm 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:50.959 not a handy man. I don't want to be. I've 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:53.600 put together a flat pack one time at one of 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:56.760 my houses, and I screwed in final thing to do. 0:09:56.800 --> 0:09:59.040 You got pressed down on it, you go probably pressed 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:01.720 down on a hard set. I pressed down on carpets, 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:03.920 so as I pressed down sort of moved so the 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:06.160 whole time a bedside table would move because it broke 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:08.559 the thing in there so that one was straight, and 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:10.400 when I moved out of that house, I'm not in it. 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:12.840 I am not a handyman, never claimed to be, never 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:13.200 will be. 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:17.000 Do you know what the funniest thing about people trying 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:20.360 to do a flat pack is when they get the 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:23.880 instructions and they say two things. The first thing they'll 0:10:23.880 --> 0:10:28.199 say is there's a piece missing, and the second thing 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:31.319 they'll say is these instructions aren't right. 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:36.000 And I'm like, no, here we go. 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:38.000 You have an extra screw or something at the end, 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:40.920 and You're like, where does this go? They don't give 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:41.480 you spares. 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:42.840 Yeah, they don't give you ses. 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:45.480 I once I remember it was with the next and 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:47.360 we went to IK and came back and I put 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:49.280 up a photo of her putting together the flat pack, 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:51.520 and I was watching the wrestling in the background. 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:53.360 What you let her put it up? 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:55.560 I'm not a handyman. I don't claim to do it. 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:57.079 She didn't want to get a task, she wanted to 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:58.960 do it herself. I'm not going to argue with anything. 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:00.560 I didn't want to lend a hand. 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:04.120 I held stuff for I handed her the screwdriver. I 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:05.120 don't claim to IoT. 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:06.720 You're watching the wrestling, so I didn't think you were 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:07.920 handing stuff. 0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:09.560 She asked HI for something, I would give her something 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:11.080 I got fucking rinsed. 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:12.840 Yeah, I'm never looking like doing that. 0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:14.280 Like I don't. I don't want to do it. I 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:16.199 don't claim to want to do it. I don't admit it. 0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:18.280 But that's it. So if anyone has gone. 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:22.280 To it, it's so funny, Like there's two types of people. 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:23.120 Like there's you. 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:25.520 Someone just would say you're not a handy man, and 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:28.360 you go, that's exactly right, I'm not and you just 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:30.920 put zero effort into every try. And then there's Michael 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:33.680 and I said it once and he's like trying to 0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:35.040 prove himself ever since. 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:39.080 Have you have you heard of the expression weaponizing incompetency. 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:41.479 I haven't heard of that expression. 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:42.480 That's very toxic. 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:44.400 Okay, we'll explain it to us. 0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:48.000 Weaponizing incompetency means where it's. 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:50.160 Say a partner is shit at something. 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:55.239 Yeah, it's when a partner or a friend, a housemate, 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:59.840 someone asks you to do something and you do it terribly, 0:11:59.880 --> 0:12:01.559 so they never ask you to do it again. 0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:05.359 Yeah, I've seen stuff that men do this with cooking. 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:07.000 I'm just bad at cooking. 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:09.120 I'm not you're also doing that. 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:11.400 No, I don't weaponizing competition. I think something that would 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:15.440 be like weaponizing comp tea would be like they asked 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:17.320 you to make a cup of tea and I did. 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:19.960 I would make when I lived at home, when I 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:22.120 was like a teenager, if I was to make someone 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:23.840 a cup of tea, or when i'd stay at my mum's, 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:27.720 I would make them bad on purpose for everyone because 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:30.440 I didn't want to do it. And you're admitting, say, 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:34.120 I make a terrible cup of tea and also not 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:34.920 even on purpose. 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:36.319 It's so mean, not even on. 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:38.959 Purpose, sometimes with a cup of tea as well, coming 0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:40.680 from a household that drinks a lot of cup of tea. 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:44.640 I don't like judging people's milk like milk rasio, milk ratio. 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:46.960 I think that's a thing that you need to do yourself. 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:49.520 I think that you should say what do you want 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:50.520 your milk ratio to be? 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:51.240 Like do you want it? 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:53.000 Or even better, give them a saucer with milk and 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:53.680 they can pour it in. 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:55.960 It's well, I mean, if you want to be bougie, 0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:58.800 I can't believe you just admitted to making people bad 0:12:58.800 --> 0:12:59.360 cups of tea. 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:02.920 That is so toxic. It's so mean. 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:06.880 I also do think like how you go like, oh, 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:10.600 I can't cook. I think that is such a cop out. 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:15.440 Like you're almost thirty. You can put a pan on 0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:19.079 a stove, put oil in salt, a piece of steak. 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:19.640 I do that. 0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:21.520 Okay, well you can care. You can do that. 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:23.840 But I'm just saying I'm not going to put together. 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:26.880 You could put together a few meals by twenty nine 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:28.880 years of age, yeah, I could. 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:31.200 I could cook a past I really wanted to do. 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:32.160 I want to cook. 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:34.880 Okay, So there's a difference between because you said you 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:38.720 can't cook, there's a difference between I can't cook and 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:41.600 I don't want to cook. I think it's like laziness 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:43.120 rather than an incomfidence. 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:45.360 How easy is it to throw just to shit, like 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:48.400 a food microwavable food in the microwave. 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:51.640 It's just not fresh, fresh ingredients. Mat you should know. 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:53.160 I love a steak. 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:56.559 Fresh ingredients over microwaveable. 0:13:57.120 --> 0:13:59.440 I'd like to ask everyone on our socials if they 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:03.160 have done that Ikea challenge or they unwillingly did the 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:06.440 Ikea challenge and they went to Ikea with their partner 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:09.720 and they realized that that wasn't the one for them. 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.520 And you know the thing is, some things you don't 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:15.640 actually need to build ika. You can get some plants, 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:17.840 you can get some cutlery, you can get some plates. 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:21.400 Yes, but they might not agree on the plates and 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:23.200 the patterns that you want. The plants. 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:28.360 Well, I mean, yeah sure. If anything, this Ikea challenge 0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:30.720 has just made me want to go to Ikea even more. 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:31.800 Yeah, I'd love a meatball. 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:39.680 I'd love some meatballs and mashed potato. Okay, Matt. Today 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:44.320 we are talking about supporting your friends during hard times. 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:48.160 I've had a few friends recently that have been going 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:52.520 through some things. There was a death in a family 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:57.680 is common, but it's also extremely sad, Like. 0:14:57.680 --> 0:14:59.400 I have a friend that goes through it. 0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:02.640 Yeah, and like I think it's it's quite like when 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:06.440 it's an immediate family member, it's really hard to navigate, 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:09.040 like what do I do? Like do I send them flowers? 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.600 Or how can I be there to support them? And 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:15.720 I think, especially at this age, you know, I'm thirty two, 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:18.520 now you're twenty nine, we don't see our friends as much. 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:20.800 You obviously live into stay all of these things. And 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:24.440 we've spoken and done episodes on how in your thirties, 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:28.640 like you can sometimes not grow apart from your friends, 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:31.200 but you need to really like make time to see them. 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:35.920 And I think when there is a situation where friends 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:40.920 need support, I think it is really important to step 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:42.760 up and to be there for your friends and to 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:46.640 be there as a support blanket and to you know, 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:49.040 show up for them and send them messages and make 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:52.640 sure that they don't feel alone, especially in this time, 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:56.240 in this era of our lives that we're in. I've 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:59.360 also had friends recently who've had miscarriages, which has been 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:03.720 really ever stating. And it's actually one of my friend's 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:06.080 weddings this week, and I know that this isn't on 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:08.080 the same level, but apparently it's going to be raining 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:10.520 at her wedding, and as someone who's had a wedding 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:13.120 like that is pretty devastating. 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:16.600 Week before my wedding, it was going to rain. And 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:18.560 apparently in old wives tell as you go the night 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:22.000 before to the venue and you bury sausages, we're all sausages. 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:24.080 Stuff that I've never heard that before. 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:27.480 Apparently did you do that? No, we didn't. In the end, 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:29.240 we can forget. When we were at the shops, but 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:30.720 Tammy was talking about doing that. 0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:32.640 Yeah, that's so funny. 0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:34.080 Can go a snaging bread? 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:39.440 Yeah, And I think you're making me hungry by talking 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:40.520 about food so much. 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:45.520 And I think, look, when it comes to supporting your friends, 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:51.440 there's obviously different degrees of people needing support. Like you 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:56.800 know a friend who is dealing with a boss that's 0:16:56.880 --> 0:17:00.480 really difficult, you know, whatever the scenario it might be. 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:04.479 I think it's good to support your friends. So we 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:07.280 have a list of things that you guys can do 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.040 when friends are going through hard times, whether that be 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:14.320 a death, whether that be something that maybe to you 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:16.159 isn't a big deal but to them is. 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:18.800 So let's get into. 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:24.880 It, Okay. So the first one is be there for 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:27.320 them emotionally, so actively listen to them. 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:27.840 Yeah. 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:32.000 So a study of fourteen hundred participants actually found that 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:35.320 social support was found to reduce the risk of depression 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:36.639 by fifty percent. 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:37.600 I agree. 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:41.520 So, particularly friends providing that type of emotional support. So 0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:43.280 that's that's some big numbers there. 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:45.760 Imagine not leaning on a friend for emotional support and 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:47.720 social support when you're going through a tough time. 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:50.600 That it just it makes your life so much easier, 0:17:50.600 --> 0:17:51.040 and it just. 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:53.760 Really feeling isolated and you couldn't talk to it. 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:54.359 Yeah. 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:57.720 And I think sometimes as well, people. 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:58.879 Get it in their heads that they don't want to 0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:02.200 burden other people with their problems, or they want to 0:18:02.280 --> 0:18:03.960 keep it in because they don't want people to know, 0:18:04.040 --> 0:18:05.800 because sometimes people want to look like they have a 0:18:05.800 --> 0:18:08.240 picture of perfect life and they don't want to show 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:09.960 any level of weakness. 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:13.520 But I really do think there's power. There's power in 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:13.879 doing it. 0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:17.639 And I think talking out things that are kind of 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:20.800