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Speaker 1: Appogie Production, Welcome back to you.

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Speaker 2: Another episode about Iya.

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Speaker 3: Bad Mum constantly asking the question where I do some

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Speaker 3: of my training. They have this mums and bubs group

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Speaker 3: that train at the same time that I can get

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Speaker 3: to the gym to just do some of my own training. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And today happened to be one of those days. And

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Speaker 3: I got in there and I thought, oh wow, and

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Speaker 3: it was busy, like this mom's group is huge and

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Speaker 3: they're all doing a workout and they will have the kids,

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Speaker 3: these babies, like fresh babies, probably through to like crawling

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Speaker 3: stages and stuff. I look and go, God, get it, girls,

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Speaker 3: Like that is dedicated. I don't know if I was

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Speaker 3: doing that that early with my girls. I look and

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Speaker 3: go it feels so foreign and long ago to me. Anyway, Off,

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Speaker 3: I go to the rower and I go.

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Speaker 4: To put my AirPods in. I feel bad saying this.

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Speaker 3: I put my AirPods in and I'm like, that's fine

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Speaker 3: because all the babies. You know, when one baby in

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Speaker 3: a group starts and it's like and they all started,

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Speaker 3: and I was like, I'm going to start training and

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Speaker 3: this is happening, and I'm like, oh, these poor moms,

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Speaker 3: they'd be so flustered.

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Speaker 4: But that's okay.

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Speaker 3: I've got noise canceling AirPods. I'm just gonna pop them in.

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Speaker 3: Pop them in, and went to turn my music on.

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Speaker 3: Music didn't connect. Fucking airport's flat.

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Speaker 4: I was like, oh my god, am I going to

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Speaker 4: survive this?

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Speaker 3: They were all crying at this stage, all crying.

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Speaker 4: I thought, that's karma, Rachel.

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Speaker 2: That's karma for wanting to I could tell that you

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Speaker 2: were doing that like a bit of like hmm, just like.

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Speaker 4: We've been there. Yeah, you got this girl, put it in,

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Speaker 4: put the AirPods in. Year later.

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Speaker 2: Shit, no, I'm to listen to do you know something

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Speaker 2: similar happened on the plane. I was saying in the

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Speaker 2: last episode that we went and did a quick flying

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Speaker 2: trip to Bali. On the plane on the way homewage. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: this is my karma for going on holiday, enjoying myself.

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Speaker 2: Guy in front of me, old guy like in his seventies,

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Speaker 2: put a seat back the minute seatbelt sign went off,

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Speaker 2: I was like, you're a fucking and then kid behind me,

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Speaker 2: I reckon one, maybe two starts screaming, screams for the

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Speaker 2: entire flight, rage the entire flight. And then when we

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Speaker 2: landed and everyone stood up getting their bags. This old

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Speaker 2: love starts talking to the little kid. Hi, darling, had

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Speaker 2: a nice flight, like blah blah blah. The mom turns

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Speaker 2: around to her and says it was her first flight

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Speaker 2: and she went, had she go?

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Speaker 1: She went, yeah, she was pretty good.

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Speaker 4: I was like, what she did? You have your noise canceling?

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Speaker 1: Yeir boards in because your.

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Speaker 4: Kid fucking screamed the tie?

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Speaker 3: Jenny, Am I a bad mum for putting them back

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Speaker 3: in their place? You know when we always come to

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Speaker 3: this point and we sit down and we decide what

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Speaker 3: the topics of conversation are. It's been an ongoing topic

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Speaker 3: of conversation, I feel for a few days in our

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Speaker 3: house Mike, girl's nine and eleven, as we know, but

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Speaker 3: just all of a sudden, I don't know if it's

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Speaker 3: because we're halfway through the year. We've had a big

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Speaker 3: growth spurt of like hormones and self.

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Speaker 4: Belief and self belief it's a negative thing.

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Speaker 3: Just Katie, some weeks you go, I got this. I've

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Speaker 3: never been the parent that goes, this is a breeze. No, no, no,

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Speaker 3: that's lying because it isn't a breeze. It's lying it's

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Speaker 3: a hurricane, it's a tsunami. But there is a new

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Speaker 3: movie out currently called Twister. That's what I feel like

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Speaker 3: my life is right now. I feel like I'm in

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Speaker 3: the middle of that twister. My children are trying their

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Speaker 3: best to push buttons, to push as far as they

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Speaker 3: can to go and see what they can get from.

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Speaker 4: Me in terms of a rise. Sometimes I think it's

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Speaker 4: just that, and I know that kids do that, and.

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Speaker 3: I understand that at the same time, you know, like

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Speaker 3: when you think about what the universe is trying to

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Speaker 3: tell you, like little signs and you know, things like that.

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Speaker 3: At the same time, as I'm going through these peak

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Speaker 3: few days with the girls and I'm talking like arguments

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Speaker 3: left front and center, and one of them topped it

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Speaker 3: all off, which I will explain, But you know, like

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Speaker 3: in between that, people are like feeding you these Instagram

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Speaker 3: reels and memes and oh, you know, letting your girls

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Speaker 3: speak up and hear them and listening to their opinion

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Speaker 3: and letting them have a voice and this and that,

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Speaker 3: and I can't even tell you. It probably be like

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Speaker 3: three or four different people that sent me these all

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Speaker 3: within these few days, and I was like, maybe I

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Speaker 3: am a little bit on edge maybe you know, probably

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Speaker 3: pre period or like you know, all of the things

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Speaker 3: stack up against you, but these particular days then I

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Speaker 3: get sent all this stuff, these people sending me stuff.

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Speaker 4: My mum is one of them.

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Speaker 3: Really really, nanade, do you want to talk about what

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Speaker 3: we did as kids or how did this quickly change

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Speaker 3: to this?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's really come full so.

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Speaker 4: Full circle and a bit more. And now that they're mine,

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Speaker 4: it's like, well.

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Speaker 3: You know you should think about really really just drama

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Speaker 3: best and this whole letting them have a voice really

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Speaker 3: struck a chord with me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think they should have lessons of a voice.

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Speaker 2: They need to have a lot less of a voice.

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Speaker 3: Right, And then you understand the key elements to what

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Speaker 3: makes our parenting, which is we speak about a fair bit,

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Speaker 3: which is boundaries, maintaining boundaries.

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Speaker 4: Obviously the boundaries extend as they get.

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Speaker 3: A bit older and we go through stages and ages

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Speaker 3: with them, like this is a lot of thinking about

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Speaker 3: those finer details of parenting, and then this other stuff

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Speaker 3: gets thrown and let them have a voice, let them

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Speaker 3: speak up, let hear their opinion, don't just shut it down.

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Speaker 3: And you're thinking, okay, yeah, but they're eleven, so how

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Speaker 3: much of their brain is actually developed to this point

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Speaker 3: to understand what the conversation is. I'm listening, and I'm hearing,

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Speaker 3: and I'm also trying to juggle twenty five thousand other

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Speaker 3: things that are going on in the background, but I'm

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Speaker 3: still staying focused. I looked at Gracie, and this is

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Speaker 3: what sort of dropped.

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Speaker 4: Me over the edge really quickly. Was we were in

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Speaker 4: the kitchen.

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Speaker 3: I asked her to unpack the dishwasher, and she turned

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Speaker 3: to me and goes, nah, sorry, and she goes, I'm

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Speaker 3: not doing that.

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Speaker 4: It's Elsie's turn.

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Speaker 3: Nah.

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Speaker 4: See this was I think this is where you got

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Speaker 4: it wrong. And I tried to do.

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Speaker 3: The ninety second I tried to do that, okay, hear

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Speaker 3: her out, and then I looked at her and I went,

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Speaker 3: I see this is where you're getting wrong. I was like,

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Speaker 3: I wasn't actually asking I'm asking you, going, hey, what

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Speaker 3: do you feel about doing I'm just saying to you, Gracie,

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Speaker 3: empty the dishwasher for me. That is your job this

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Speaker 3: morning before you go to school. That's what I need

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Speaker 3: you to do.

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Speaker 4: Thanks. Yes see I did it yesterday. And then.

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Speaker 1: Crazy, this is the thing.

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Speaker 3: And so I'm trying to still say like really centered

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Speaker 3: but calm, And I said, but you're not hearing me.

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Speaker 3: I'm listening to you, but you're not hearing me. Your

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Speaker 3: sister did it last night, so you did it in

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Speaker 3: the morning. She did it at night last night for

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Speaker 3: me because we had a lot of extra dishes. It

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Speaker 3: is now your turn. I don't care what time of

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Speaker 3: day it is. If you need that piece of logic,

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Speaker 3: just do the job.

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Speaker 4: She goes, no, I'm not doing it.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 3: And then in the back of your head, Katie, you've

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Speaker 3: got all those reels and those instagram and people fish like.

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Speaker 4: Hear them, let them speak up, let them have a opinion.

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Speaker 3: And I just I just stood there and went, yeah,

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Speaker 3: you see, this is the thing. Yesterday morning I had work,

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Speaker 3: I said, but no one said, oh I don't want

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Speaker 3: to do it, so I can't go, so I can't

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Speaker 3: pay for my dance costumes and my dance stuff.

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Speaker 4: And this I said. I just had to fucking do it.

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Speaker 3: I lost my mind. She comes around, she starts to

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Speaker 3: unpack the dish washeres.

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Speaker 4: She's slamming me, slamming Yeah. I looked at her.

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Speaker 3: I said, see this will be the one thing where

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Speaker 3: you'll fall over grace. I said, you start to slam

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Speaker 3: my shit and I will literally exit you from the building.

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Speaker 4: I said, don't bring violence in here. She oh, I'm

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Speaker 4: not being violent.

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Speaker 3: I said, you are being really, really over the top.

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Speaker 3: Don't slam my things. I said to her, Geez's coming years. Geez,

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Speaker 3: we're looking at some really heated moments that way between

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Speaker 3: the two of us.

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Speaker 4: And she goes, see, this is the thing, mum, with

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Speaker 4: the finger going this is the thing Mum.

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Speaker 3: We speak about how we're allowed to all have our opinions.

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Speaker 3: I'm having my opinion.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't an opinion.

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Speaker 2: You just said, no, there's no opinion about it.

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Speaker 3: This is where I've been belding myself up as a parent.

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Speaker 4: I looked at her and I just wanted to I

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Speaker 4: just want to rip shreds off her.

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Speaker 3: But I'd been sent seventy five Instagram reels about how

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Speaker 3: to be a good.

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Speaker 4: Mum, and I had in the background.

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Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I said, look and I respect that,

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Speaker 3: and I respect that you think that right now your

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Speaker 3: opinion is granted, I said, but see, this is the thing.

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Speaker 3: You're eleven, your actual part of your brain isn't even

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Speaker 3: fully developed yet to understand situations that will come with

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Speaker 3: when you give your opinion.

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Speaker 4: She's looking at me.

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Speaker 3: I said, so right now, I'm giving you my opinion

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Speaker 3: and you're giving me yours. I said, but you can't

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Speaker 3: have any space to see the logic in the middle.

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Speaker 4: I said, do you know what an opinion? Right now?

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Speaker 4: I said, it doesn't even matter. I'm your mother. I've

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Speaker 4: asked you to do the dishwasher, and it's as simple

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Speaker 4: as that. You were just being plain rude. You're slamming

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Speaker 4: my stuff. I'm not slamming. She goes, well, it's your fault.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, we've gone through everything, Katie.

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Speaker 3: It's your fault that I'm so opinionated, and it's your

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Speaker 3: fault that you've raised us to be so strong minded

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Speaker 3: about what we want to do.

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Speaker 2: I was like, God, they're all the same.

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Speaker 4: Rage.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, I'm hearing you, and I can see myself in

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Speaker 2: the exact same position. We had the exact same yesterday

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Speaker 2: with feeding the animals. Right, they have pretty much one

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Speaker 2: job other than getting yourself ready feed the animals. Yesterday,

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Speaker 2: I was like, someone needs to feed the animals. It's

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Speaker 2: not my turn. No, I didn't ask whose stain it was.

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Speaker 2: That someone needs to sort it out between yourselves.

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Speaker 4: I don't care.

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Speaker 2: Just someone feed the animals.

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Speaker 1: But I didn't yesterday shah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: And I've had a shower already and so she can

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Speaker 2: do it blah blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 4: I was like, just someone fucking feed the animals. Do

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Speaker 4: you have one job?

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Speaker 2: We joke about having one job. Tooth fairy, you got

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Speaker 2: one job, We joke about it. They literally have one job,

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Speaker 2: one job, and it's not even hard. And you wanted animals,

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Speaker 2: you wanted pets, but you also reap the.

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Speaker 4: Rewards of having the pets.

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Speaker 3: You like to cuddle them at night, and you like

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Speaker 3: to look after them when you feel like it.

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Speaker 4: But on the other end of the scale, you're got

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Speaker 4: to cover everything.

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Speaker 2: I don't remember days of begging, right, if we could

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Speaker 2: just get a cat, If we could get a cat,

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Speaker 2: we'd do everything.

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Speaker 4: I said. You got it dog. You wanted a dog.

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Speaker 2: You said, when we got a dog, we'll feed it,

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Speaker 2: we'll walk it, we'll pick up the pooh.

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Speaker 1: You barely even feed it.

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Speaker 2: You don't do any other things.

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Speaker 4: There's so many things in this that I just go.

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Speaker 3: You are putting the rod in your own back right

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Speaker 3: now if I don't just keep nudging the fact that

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Speaker 3: this is not open for discussion.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, this is just an instruction. Yeah. And in life,

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Speaker 4: when you go.

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Speaker 3: And get a job, Gracie thurday, they're gonna say, Gracie,

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Speaker 3: your jobs today are to do X, Y Z, and

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Speaker 3: you're gonna have to say sure, no worries. She'd's mind,

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Speaker 3: I said, But that's exactly what's happening here.

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Speaker 2: I said, I cannot wait. But I've been banging on,

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Speaker 2: as you know, I've talked about it on the podcast

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Speaker 2: about my girls getting a job for so long, and

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Speaker 2: I got to the point where I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: just cut back on stuff because I literally can't say

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Speaker 2: it any more. Times you're half asked because you don't

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Speaker 2: want a job because you don't have to. If you

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Speaker 2: didn't have us, you'd be living on the streets.

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Speaker 4: I just can't understand it. I'm just gonna leave it there.

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Speaker 4: I'm just gonna leave it there because I know one

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Speaker 4: day

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Speaker 3: This will come back and it will be spoken about

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Speaker 3: in their therapy sessions.