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Speaker 1: Only to be here. Thank you for playing the do

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Speaker 1: a liper? I do like that song. I can ruin

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Speaker 1: that song for you, because every time I hear that song,

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Speaker 1: it's it's like she's forgotten what she's doing and she

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Speaker 1: got I'm never taking you know, it's like she's gone,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing something. What was I doing?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 1: It's like she just she can't she can't remember.

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Speaker 2: What a flying ability? I walked into the kitchen to

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Speaker 2: get something? What am I doing?

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Speaker 1: Exactly every time? Every time, and I'll do you seeing

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Speaker 1: the video for that, it's her looking for a keys

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Speaker 1: and it's just a fellow in the ins outside he's

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Speaker 1: going dure, dure, Have you got?

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Speaker 2: Have you got your keys? What do you do?

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Speaker 1: I'm get the keys, getting the car, get out exactly.

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Speaker 1: I love a bit of leaper.

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Speaker 2: It is good to see your face. I mean, we

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Speaker 2: spend we shared a lot of time. We spent We

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Speaker 2: spent each other the pine. We shared a lot of

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Speaker 2: time together. With the filming of Celebrity Apprentice, which I

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Speaker 2: believe goes to a soonish on Channel nine. What an

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Speaker 2: emotional rollercoaster. Where do we start with this list of norble?

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Speaker 2: You've recovered all right, it's it's taken.

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Speaker 1: It's taken me a while.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.

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Speaker 1: It was weird, isn't it.

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Speaker 2: I mean we could talk about talk.

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Speaker 1: You know. I don't know if you find this you

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Speaker 1: sit at home. I've never done really activ show before,

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Speaker 1: and when you sit at home and you just go,

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Speaker 1: what is wrong with these people? Looking at getting all

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Speaker 1: you're getting all emotional and you just go, oh, I

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Speaker 1: see what happens. You have to work for twelve hours

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Speaker 1: a day and they slowly grind you down. And I

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Speaker 1: have to say it with you, especially with I have

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Speaker 1: to say, I've never seen I have no idea how

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Speaker 1: you did that, because you were doing the show in

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Speaker 1: the morning and then you were putting in these long

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Speaker 1: I've never seen a human being more tired. And I

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Speaker 1: would say at certain point to hallucinate.

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Speaker 3: I think you vomited at one stage, didn't you have?

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Speaker 3: Quite a few times.

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Speaker 2: There was a part where I think things got a

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Speaker 2: little bit out of control. And call it a complete

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Speaker 2: system meltdown if you want. There was just system shut down.

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Speaker 2: What I loved about Ross Noble on the show. And

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Speaker 2: I think it's good to talk about this stuff because

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Speaker 2: there's a fair chance that won't go to air is

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Speaker 2: Ross wanted to play his own side jokes just to

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Speaker 2: entertain himself in case the show wasn't entertaining enough. And

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Speaker 2: I remember one one day when I saw him in

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Speaker 2: the makeup chair and he was spending a little longer

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Speaker 2: than normal in the makeup chair. He then got out

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Speaker 2: of the chair and looked looked at orange of the

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Speaker 2: Donald Trump. He was covered in makeup like an inch

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Speaker 2: thick of makeup. Hardly even looked like Ross Noble anymore.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and yeah, it was full orange. And I got

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Speaker 1: them to put the white eyes on as well. And

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Speaker 1: it was for the It was for the boardroom, and

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Speaker 1: that's serious board down and you have to justify why

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Speaker 1: are you're a good business person. I had the full

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Speaker 1: make up on, and it wasn't until we were literally

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Speaker 1: went all right, and you're walking, and then there was

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden you could hear really stop stop everything,

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Speaker 1: you're not going in like that. But was ironic because

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Speaker 1: some of the other people on the shore had makeup

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Speaker 1: that wasn't as far as literally you.

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Speaker 2: Know you know what. They knew that we were we

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Speaker 2: were close. So one of the producers took me aside

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Speaker 2: and said, have you noticed Ross's makeup as something happened?

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Speaker 2: And I went, yeah, and it's really sensitive, so don't

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Speaker 2: ask him about it. The next thing you know, the

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Speaker 2: boardroom stopped. Ross has got one of the executive producers

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Speaker 2: on the side and he's saying, you're gonna have to

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Speaker 2: change your face, Ross, and Ross is saying, if I

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Speaker 2: was a woman, you would not exactly my makeup see

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Speaker 2: completely orange.

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Speaker 3: I mean, we know how funny you guys are, but

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Speaker 3: this is what we also like to watch Celebrity Apprentice

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Speaker 3: for because we're there moments that you were asked to

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Speaker 3: do certain things and you were just like, I'm not

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Speaker 3: going to do this, Ross. Are there moments where you

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Speaker 3: have to put your foot down?

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Look, it's one of those things where yes is the answer.

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Speaker 1: And there's also which which you probably people would have

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Speaker 1: seen this from me before. There are certain moments where

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm a kind of chilled out, relaxed sort

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Speaker 1: of guy, and you know, I like love. You know,

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Speaker 1: there might have been a few incidents where you know,

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Speaker 1: there were certain certain things just chipping away at me

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to let it go, just let it go,

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Speaker 1: let it go, don't And then I might have just

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Speaker 1: you know, said exactly what was on my mind forgetting

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Speaker 1: that there was TV comers on me.

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Speaker 2: Is this your version of blaming the edit? Ross?

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Speaker 1: This feels like you're living I mean, maths contestants love

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Speaker 1: to do it.

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Speaker 2: Na, absolutely not.

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Speaker 1: I know that obviously it is compressed. No, No, I think,

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Speaker 1: Look I can't. We can't see anything because we've sung

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Speaker 1: all kinds of non disclosure agreement.

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Speaker 2: Because I mean, the good thing we can talk about

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Speaker 2: is stuff that we learned about each other off air,

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Speaker 2: which won't make it to the show to start with.

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Speaker 2: I know that, Ross Noble. I don't know if everybody knows.

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Speaker 2: Once signed a tank right in the water tank No, No,

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Speaker 2: as an army tank. Wow from Ross?

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Speaker 1: Yes, I bought from a vote from a website in

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Speaker 1: the UK called Tanks a Lot. Yeah, it was, it

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Speaker 1: was Ross, there was it was what was it about

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Speaker 1: twenty grand in the UK? So forty grand?

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Speaker 2: What did you do with it?

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Speaker 1: Like? That's weird actually because that's normally what my wife's

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Speaker 1: friends would say, normally, come round and you just go

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Speaker 1: can have a go. And then my wist friends would

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Speaker 1: be just like, what what do you do with it?

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Speaker 1: And it's ask a silly question. I drive it around

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Speaker 1: pretending to be Rommel. You know, I used to crush

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Speaker 1: links with it. You need to, you know, like if

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Speaker 1: you've got like an old fridge or something that's I

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Speaker 1: got to put that in the back of the you

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Speaker 1: to take down the to take down the dump and

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Speaker 1: you think, oh, crush it with the tank. Put it

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Speaker 1: in flat you hide it under some cardboard boxes. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know you're saving money there. The tank paid for itself.

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Speaker 2: We also had a lot of intimate conversations as well,

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Speaker 2: for us. I mean, we spoke about our partners and

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Speaker 2: her love life and Ross and I don't know if

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Speaker 2: you're okay with me going even shared that his wife

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Speaker 2: had a fantasy, and I.

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Speaker 1: Was sure that we're going there.

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Speaker 2: It was something that was playing on your mind and

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Speaker 2: obviously something she wanted to live out in the real world.

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Speaker 1: Yes, she said my ultimately, you know, I know this

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Speaker 1: this kid's listener, so I'll be she said, my ultimate fantasy.

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Speaker 1: Let's just see, let's just see a special time. Let's

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Speaker 1: let's we all.

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Speaker 2: Know what we're talking about.

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Speaker 1: Special especially said, she had, you know, my ultimate fantasy

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Speaker 1: is and what's that She's I'd like to have some

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Speaker 1: special cuddles with someone who isn't fat. Whips was up

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Speaker 1: the table.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't help aut.

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Speaker 1: It's not terrible at all. It was her a fun

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Speaker 1: way of saying, you know what, Yes, I think we yes,

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Speaker 1: we we very much bonded. And it's you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: not seeing this because we're on the shore, but it's

150
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Speaker 1: gonna be an absolute cracker. It's gone, it's gonna be

151
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Speaker 1: um dinger. There are certain things like you say, my

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Speaker 1: sort of side. It's because the thing is, you'd think

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Speaker 1: you'd go into it thinking it's all about being the

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Speaker 1: best business person you possibly can, and then I realized,

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Speaker 1: oh no, I'm not a business person. I'm look just

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Speaker 1: funnies amount and that there was a lot of funny

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Speaker 1: and about.

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Speaker 3: Alright, well Ross as well, it's great to have you

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Speaker 3: back on the comedy saying, as well, we know it.

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Speaker 3: How tough a year and spending being in the light

161
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Speaker 3: fringe fist with you in the Melbourne Comedy Festival. How

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Speaker 3: has it been back on stage?

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Speaker 1: Man?

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Speaker 3: Is it just changed your life?

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Speaker 1: It's absolutely funny. You're right, it was a tough year

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Speaker 1: to be honest, when I was when I was applying

167
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Speaker 1: lotion to whippers tits. I did, which I did.

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Speaker 2: At one point you said you wouldn't give anything away.

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Speaker 2: I'm not giving fuzz.

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Speaker 1: Well, while I was, while I was vasilin in, I

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Speaker 1: just went, this has been a tough years. It's been

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Speaker 1: a tough and so to be back on stage every night,

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Speaker 1: I just I hear the roar of the crowd and

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Speaker 1: I think I'm back doing what I love. But there's

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Speaker 1: part of me that sits there with a little thing

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Speaker 1: of vasiline, just going yeah.

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Speaker 2: But I've changed. I've changed this.

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Speaker 3: Amount miss Ross name but the Sydney comedy face for

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Speaker 3: April twenty nine and Ma si Can playing in more

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Speaker 3: Theater in the Concourse, Chatswood. Tickets at ticket t Ross.

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Speaker 3: Thanks for coming on legs, grabbing me.

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Speaker 2: It fits