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Speaker 1: Oh, TIF called Craig Harper, It's oh fuck, everyone knows

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Speaker 1: what it is TIV.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Happy Friday.

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Speaker 1: I should probably be more enthusias I am enthusiastic, but

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Speaker 1: I sometimes think I probably don't need to introduce the

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Speaker 1: show anymore. I probably don't need to say who you are,

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Speaker 1: who I am, what the show is called. Probably seven

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Speaker 1: years later people know, and even the new is people.

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Speaker 2: Might stumble in and go, what's this.

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Speaker 1: Well they've seen that they've clicked on. Yeah, maybe maybe

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Speaker 1: how are you good?

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Speaker 3: Well, look, I'm good, but I've got a saw back

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Speaker 3: so and it's really twingey today.

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Speaker 2: So it's you know, when you got a saw back

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Speaker 2: and it's shit?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, where about shrawbacks? I don't think. I don't think

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Speaker 1: people are now. These are first of all problems and

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Speaker 1: man problems. I know, nothing compares to giving birth, and

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Speaker 1: I guess at that, and but you know, pain is pain,

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Speaker 1: but really bad back pain, like really acute, like fuck,

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Speaker 1: I've had that few times in my life, to the

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Speaker 1: point where I'm crying and I'm a grown ass man.

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Speaker 1: I'm not crying balling, but there's literally tears coming out

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Speaker 1: of my face because every time I move, like it's

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Speaker 1: so acute, But what's going on with you?

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Speaker 3: Well, I've bent over the other day to shift a

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Speaker 3: weight for a client, not even heavy, just in an

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Speaker 3: awkward dist position and just and it was this feeling

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Speaker 3: that was like I been waiting.

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Speaker 2: I've been waiting for the moment, and this is it.

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Speaker 2: If here you go.

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Speaker 3: And it's been so so I went to my Cairo

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Speaker 3: today and it's good. It's like there's nothing like, everything's good.

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Speaker 3: The system is just protecting you and now you've just

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Speaker 3: got to just got to chill out, which you know

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Speaker 3: I'm good at that.

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Speaker 2: I'm good at that.

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Speaker 3: That was so you know, I've changed my training a bit, right,

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Speaker 3: I've backed it off. I'm trying to find and what's

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Speaker 3: now new, the new appropriate? And I go to him

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Speaker 3: and his first thing is, well, sometimes you just got

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Speaker 3: arrest iff, And I'm like, Christian, I am, I am

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Speaker 3: resting because and because I'm getting all defensive because I'm like,

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Speaker 3: you don't understand how little I trained now compared to

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Speaker 3: what I was. It's a big change. But as I

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Speaker 3: was defending myself in my mind, I was like, so

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Speaker 3: what did you do last week? So if you decided

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Speaker 3: to do some hit training again, and in your first

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Speaker 3: work out of that there was one hundred and fifty

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Speaker 3: plometric box jumps that you did, and you did that

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Speaker 3: same workout three more times over the next week and

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Speaker 3: a bit. He also did some ninety kilo deadlifts, all

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Speaker 3: things which weren't in high rotation in your previous training.

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Speaker 3: So take your I am Christian and stick it up

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Speaker 3: your balm.

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Speaker 1: You're lying, Yes, it's not like you to be irrational

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Speaker 1: or emotional at all, so I'm okay, I'm astounded, And

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Speaker 1: also that you would be defensive about anything it again.

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Speaker 3: So it's not until you hear your own voice stating

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Speaker 3: your case that you realize you're bullshitting.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's like before we were it's now one thirty eight.

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Speaker 1: We were meant nine forty. We were meant to record

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Speaker 1: at one thirty and I'm in there. I was in

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Speaker 1: the zoom room and I'm like, where the fuck is Tiff?

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Speaker 1: I was in at one twenty seven, and at one

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Speaker 1: thirty three I sent you quite a self righteous message

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Speaker 1: going are you coming? Like are you are you joining

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Speaker 1: me today? And then you sent me one at the

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Speaker 1: same time, which was pretty much where the fuck are you?

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Speaker 1: And then mister self righteousness may or may not have

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Speaker 1: been in the wrong zoom room, and I wanted to

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Speaker 1: be mad at you. Not really, I didn't really everyone,

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Speaker 1: but I wanted to blame you. And then as I

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Speaker 1: was undoing that, I kind of went, yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: I clicked on the wrong thing, so that'd be me,

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Speaker 1: but I understand it not you. Not wanting it to

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Speaker 1: be your fault, because the beauty of that when it's not,

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Speaker 1: you know, when shit's happening to me and it's not

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Speaker 1: my fault, well then I don't have to take responsibility,

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Speaker 1: and I'm very good at that.

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Speaker 3: Well, it also felt like I have really backed things

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Speaker 3: off and made some you know, and I wanted to

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Speaker 3: acknowledge that to myself, and I didn't want to admit

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Speaker 3: that in the doing of that, I'm still I still

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Speaker 3: haven't got it right.

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Speaker 2: And so it's like it feels.

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Speaker 3: Like admitting that I'm the problem, which I obviously am.

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Speaker 3: I also can't acknowledge that I have done some really

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Speaker 3: smart things with my training and movement.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, of course. Well I mean apart from

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Speaker 1: you know, and if every now and then you have

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Speaker 1: a bit of a back injury, which is somewhat debilitating,

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Speaker 1: not massively debilitating. Well, in the overall scheme of things,

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Speaker 1: you're going pretty good, you know, right, I was going

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Speaker 1: to say you're forty two, but we all know you're

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Speaker 1: not forty two?

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Speaker 2: Almost though, Huh.

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Speaker 1: When's I now? I've asked her, when's the day again?

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Speaker 2: Best of May?

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Speaker 1: Wow, it's not far away. I'm not going to ask

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Speaker 1: ever again May one. Well, I had been wondering whether

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Speaker 1: or not I'd offended you because I have not seen

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Speaker 1: you at the gym. It feels like a month, but

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Speaker 1: it's probably a few weeks. So what have you been doing? Like,

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Speaker 1: what have you changed? Because I actually want to talk

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Speaker 1: to you about something today which is fucking fascinating and

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Speaker 1: it's about the mind and it's about the body, and

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Speaker 1: it's about training, and it's about drugs and it's a

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Speaker 1: story so interesting. But what have you changed with your

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Speaker 1: training and why? Well?

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Speaker 3: I've changed well, because you know, I've struggled a lot

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Speaker 3: over the last at least twelve months with recovery and

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Speaker 3: training intensity and getting that right and fatigue and watch,

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Speaker 3: you know, is this burnout?

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Speaker 2: Is it perimenopause? Is it?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 3: What's going on? Why am I not able to do

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Speaker 3: what I could do before. And I guess just like

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Speaker 3: I came back from Tazzy and the little bit of

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Speaker 3: disruption with my gym closing for a few weeks meant

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Speaker 3: that I had a bit of a change in things.

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Speaker 3: So I decided to take some days off. So I've

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Speaker 3: changed the structure of how I work, which.

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Speaker 2: Is very long overdue and very grown up of me,

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Speaker 2: but also.

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Speaker 3: Signed up for a course, so changing the way that

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Speaker 3: I work, so rather than doing everything every day, I'm

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Speaker 3: trying to add structure but still keep the level of

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Speaker 3: variety that I need in order to be tiff and

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Speaker 3: b bit so spontaneous and not get bored. And then

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Speaker 3: trying to structure what does tif's training look like now

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Speaker 3: that it's different. Before it was doing something every day

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Speaker 3: and I'd slott it in and be all over the

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Speaker 3: place and it'd be a bit of boxing, a bit

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Speaker 3: of everything, and it's like, Okay, what does my body

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Speaker 3: need because I can't do that because that is burning

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Speaker 3: me out. So I feel best were some high intensity training.

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Speaker 3: I'm trying to reintroduce that there was a period, a

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Speaker 3: little period of time where that just my body felt

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Speaker 3: a level of disdain at the thought or the action

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Speaker 3: of doing that.

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Speaker 2: I'd want to do it.

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Speaker 3: Then I'd start training and be like, I hate this.

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Speaker 3: My body hates me right now. So a little bit

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Speaker 3: of running in the interim and running, bit of strength

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Speaker 3: and now just trying to figure out, well, if I

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Speaker 3: do do HIT training doesn't have been our how long

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Speaker 3: does my body want to do it? And then how

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Speaker 3: much recovery do I need in order to feel great

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Speaker 3: doing it because I missed Doing it makes me feel great,

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Speaker 3: but I have to get the timing and intensity right.

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Speaker 3: And one hundred and fifty box jumps in a session

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Speaker 3: three times that week probably has come out as not

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Speaker 3: being the greatest plan.

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Speaker 1: Wow, who would have thought. Maybe you could have rung

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Speaker 1: your friend the scientist and said, I'm thinking of going

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Speaker 1: from zero zero box jumps to one hundred and fifty times.

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Speaker 1: Haven't finished. Sorry we're talking while you're interrupting, right, Sorry,

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Speaker 1: But you might have wrung me and said this is

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Speaker 1: my plan. What do you think of my plan? And

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Speaker 1: I would have gone, oh, hang on, let me think. No. No.

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Speaker 1: On the outside that was used to own a jym

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Speaker 1: and is a trainer and was a kind of a

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Speaker 1: professional athlete. How does that girl make that decision.

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Speaker 3: Because she has one set of rules for her clients,

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Speaker 3: and what set of rules for her?

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Speaker 1: Now, just quickly, for the thirty percent of our listeners

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Speaker 1: who are going, what is HIT training? Could you just

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Speaker 1: give an example of what HIT training is for our

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Speaker 1: listeners who are thinking what is she? Well, if it's

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Speaker 1: not running, and it's not bike and it's not lifting weights,

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Speaker 1: what the fuck is it?

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Speaker 3: High intensity interval training? So I was training hard for

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Speaker 3: a burst of time and then recovering in between. When

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Speaker 3: I say HIT training, for me, I like to do

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Speaker 3: it in the form of things like kettle bells or plyometrics,

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Speaker 3: jumps and things that are quite intense and explosive. But

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Speaker 3: it can be. I mean, you can do HIT training

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Speaker 3: with running. It's just sprint training. So it's just training

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Speaker 3: at a high intensity resting in between.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, interval based stuff. And so when you're back, was

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Speaker 1: that its worst? How is it right now in this moment?

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Speaker 1: Is it at its worst now? Or is it a

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Speaker 1: bit better?

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Speaker 3: I'd say it's kind of it's tinkering on it's worst

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Speaker 3: still now it's gone ebbed and flowed a bit, but

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Speaker 3: it's just a real you know when you get that

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Speaker 3: sharp pain and it's kind of like right now, it's

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Speaker 3: just there consistently. And I'm supposed to meet a friend's

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Speaker 3: turning fortieth heavy birthday, Tarran.

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Speaker 2: She's turning fortieth this week.

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Speaker 1: But.

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Speaker 3: I'm supposed to meet her tomorrow on the motorbike in

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Speaker 3: back Marsh. We're going to ride to Bendigo to her play.

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Speaker 3: That was all planned and I'm like, I can't. I'm

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Speaker 3: not like, I can't be getting on a bike, especially

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Speaker 3: not for that much time.

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Speaker 1: No, that is not it. You know. It's a friend

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Speaker 1: of mine. His name's Mark. He listens to this sometimes,

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Speaker 1: not the Crab. Also. Mark is a friend of the

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Speaker 1: Crab and mine. But he's a trade and he does

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Speaker 1: stuff for me. He's amazing. Anyway, the other day he

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Speaker 1: was driving his ute, his big ute with his big trailer,

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Speaker 1: and someone ran up the ass of his trailer, which

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Speaker 1: then smashed into his ute, like totaled his trailer. They're

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Speaker 1: not sure about whether or not the ute's going to

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Speaker 1: be a ride off. Anyway, I just went from one

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Speaker 1: of my thirty two walks a week that I do

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Speaker 1: just before this, and I bumped into him and I'd

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Speaker 1: heard about the stack, but I hadn't spoken to him.

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Speaker 1: He's just working eight hundred meters from my house and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, should you be working? He's like, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I if I move, I'm all right. If I sitting's

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Speaker 1: no good. I'm like, okay, what did you do? You know,

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Speaker 1: you know blokes that are like blokey blokes. He's a

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Speaker 1: blokey bloke, bloke bloke right. I'm like, all right, well

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Speaker 1: what did you do? And then he described in some detail.

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Speaker 1: And then I was just looking at his body and

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Speaker 1: I looked at one forearm and it's twice as big

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Speaker 1: as the other forearm, and so I kind of grabbed

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Speaker 1: it gently to kind of you know what they call

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Speaker 1: pal pate it, which is touch it. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I touched it. And I'm like, does this herd here

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Speaker 1: in Nelly fucking fell down? I'm like, I think you've

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Speaker 1: got a broken arm. I go, what did you do

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Speaker 1: to this? And he's like and he described what he did,

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Speaker 1: and I go, so, you know this forearm is twice

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Speaker 1: as big as that forum? Yeah, yeah, I go, how

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Speaker 1: sore is? It's like very I go have your hat

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Speaker 1: at X ray. He's like, no, should I I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I think, so, I'm not a doctor, but that looks

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Speaker 1: broken as fuck to me. And then I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: about here? Ribs, back, shoulder. I'm like, dude, please like

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Speaker 1: and he's working, he's on the tools. He's like, I'm

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Speaker 1: all right if I keep moving. Yeah, you're not You're not. No.

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Speaker 1: So what's it like when you get out of bed?

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Speaker 1: He goes, yeah, no good? I go what happens? He goes,

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Speaker 1: it's pretty hard to get out of bed, and then

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Speaker 1: it's pretty hard to stand up. I'm like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: of course you'd be at work wielding tools and doing

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Speaker 1: a heavy, heavy physical jop so I know. Oh no,

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Speaker 1: it's like the opposite end of the you know, like,

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Speaker 1: what do they say a self care day? He's doing

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Speaker 1: like a self destruction day. I'm like, dude, and I

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Speaker 1: said to him, did so he saw the doctor? But

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Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe he didn't. I don't know who

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Speaker 1: he saw. But they didn't do any tests or X rays,

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Speaker 1: and they gave him a bunch of pankiller. I'm like, so,

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Speaker 1: what are you taking as Oh? Nothing, I'm like, okay, well,

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Speaker 1: maybe like if the doctor gave you something, firstly, go

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Speaker 1: back see the doctor again and show them your big

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Speaker 1: fucking fat arm. Ah. So I'm on the side of

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Speaker 1: the street in Hampton holding this bloke's arm and just

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Speaker 1: poking bits of his body randomly. It would have looked interesting,

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Speaker 1: trying to trying to, you know, not really but diagnose

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Speaker 1: what the fuck is going on. I would not be

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Speaker 1: surprised if he's got multiple fractures, like his back is

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Speaker 1: really saw his shoulders fucked his elbow. His elbow could

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Speaker 1: be broken as well. It's like there's I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's good to be tough, but it's also good to

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Speaker 1: be you know, smart the hell speaking of training, I

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Speaker 1: want to share this with you, right, So I love

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Speaker 1: this Now full disclosure, everybody, Obviously, this is not what

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Speaker 1: I'm about to read as written by me. It's an

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Speaker 1: article that was written quite a while ago by James Clear.

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Speaker 1: You know who he is, Tim, Yeah so the article.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, So you can look it up. It's

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Speaker 1: interesting to read. And what I love about this is

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Speaker 1: it just reinforces. It just reinforces how fucking amazing humans

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Speaker 1: are when we can get out of our own way. Now,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to give you any more than that,

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Speaker 1: because you're figured out as we go. So I'm just

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Speaker 1: straight up reading. This is called what Happens when you

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Speaker 1: Believe You're taking Steroids by James Clear. If you google that,

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Speaker 1: it'll come up. Fifteen athletes were scattered around the room.

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Speaker 1: Everyone was looking at Gideon Ariel. Now, Gideon Ariel is

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Speaker 1: the guy who did the original research on this, is

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Speaker 1: a PhD researcher. You can go and find the original paper,

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Speaker 1: which I also did, but I thought i'd read this

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Speaker 1: article because it's much more user friendly. So he's the

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Speaker 1: lead researcher, and he also did it with I think

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Speaker 1: he did the research with one of his PhD students

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Speaker 1: or you know, graduate students. Anyway, So fifteen athletes were

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Speaker 1: scattered around a room. Everyone was looking at Gideon Ariel.

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Speaker 1: We're going to give you steroids, he told them. It

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Speaker 1: was nineteen seventy two, an Ariel was conducting a study

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Speaker 1: on athletic performance with his research partner, there you go,

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Speaker 1: William Saville. On this particular day, the two men were

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Speaker 1: offering the athletes an interesting proposition. Now I can give

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Speaker 1: you a bit more context because I know the background.

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Speaker 1: So they weren't necessarily athletes per se, but they were

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Speaker 1: people who trained regularly, and I think they all had

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Speaker 1: a minimum of two years training before this research was done.

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Speaker 1: It's about strength training, and so they all had a

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Speaker 1: fair level of strength, a fair level of conditioning. There

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Speaker 1: were no absolute novices or beginners, so you could say,

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Speaker 1: for the most part, they were experienced weight trainers. Now,

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Speaker 1: with that in mind, somebody who's already training a lot

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Speaker 1: that are about to go into a study where they're

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Speaker 1: going to do the same lifts they've been doing for

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Speaker 1: the last two to ten years, you wouldn't expect a

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Speaker 1: lot of gains to happen because they're already doing all

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Speaker 1: that stuff anyway. It's not like anything new is being introduced.

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Speaker 1: So that's the background. So on this day, the two

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Speaker 1: men were offering the athletes an interesting proposition. Ariel explain

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Speaker 1: that the study would last for eleven weeks. The athletes

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Speaker 1: would lift weights for the first seven weeks, and those

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Speaker 1: who made the most improvement during that the seven week

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Speaker 1: period they would be rewarded with dianabol, which is an

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Speaker 1: anabolic steroid, for the final four weeks of training. So

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Speaker 1: the gist of it is, all these dudes got together,

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Speaker 1: they were going to train for seven weeks, and whoever

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Speaker 1: improved got the best improvements, the greatest adaptation, the biggest

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Speaker 1: numbers over the seven weeks. They would then be put

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Speaker 1: on an anabolic steroid for the final four weeks, all

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Speaker 1: under control conditions, all done with ethical approval from the

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Speaker 1: research from the the research lab in the university. So

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Speaker 1: all tikety boot, all scientific, right. What the athletes didn't

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Speaker 1: know was that the researchers were lying to them. After

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Speaker 1: the initial seven week training period, the scientists randomly subject

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Speaker 1: selected six athletes as the winners. However, despite being told

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Speaker 1: that they were getting real steroids, the athletes actually received

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Speaker 1: placebo pills. What happened next surprised everyone. Four weeks later,

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Speaker 1: when the researchers conducted the final testing, the athletes set

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Speaker 1: all time personal records in every exercise test. And so

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Speaker 1: this is all the tests and all the athletes. Now

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Speaker 1: what I'm about to give you is the average across

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Speaker 1: the group. So this is not the best athletes, This

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Speaker 1: is the average across the group. So in the seven

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Speaker 1: weeks when they were just training with nothing for what

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Speaker 1: they believed nothing, which it was before the steroids in

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Speaker 1: inverted commas, the lifters added on average two point six

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Speaker 1: kilos to their squat, So over seven weeks, their squat

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Speaker 1: went up two point six kilos in seven weeks, which

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Speaker 1: is really pretty minimal on average. And then after they

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Speaker 1: took their four weeks, which is not much more than

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Speaker 1: half the time, After they did their four weeks of

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Speaker 1: taking steroids, nudge nudge, wink wink, they added on average

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Speaker 1: eighteen point nine kilos. Right now, Remember, in seven weeks,

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Speaker 1: they added two point six kilos to their best lift. Now,

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Speaker 1: in four weeks, which is about half the time, they

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Speaker 1: added forty one point eight pounds or eighteen point nine

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Speaker 1: kilos of weight to their best squad. Now that's a

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Speaker 1: seven times increase in gain in half the time, right,

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Speaker 1: just over half the time. What was the difference, Same

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Speaker 1: guys doing the same lifts, under the same conditions. Everything

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Speaker 1: was the same. The only variables is that they thought

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Speaker 1: they were on drugs that would make them stronger now,

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Speaker 1: and they got way stronger. The same happened with the

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Speaker 1: second exercise. During the first seven weeks, the lifters increased

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Speaker 1: their bench press by four point five kilos, so that's

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Speaker 1: drug free four point five kilos in seven weeks. And

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Speaker 1: after the next four weeks believing they were on steroids,

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Speaker 1: the athletes added on average thirteen point three so a

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Speaker 1: three time improvement in half the time with no drugs

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Speaker 1: thinking they were taking drugs. Now, this one's fucking amazing.

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Speaker 1: On military press, which is it's a shoulder press every

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Speaker 1: one where you've got the bar just sitting at the

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Speaker 1: top of your chest where I'm showing Tiff like she

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Speaker 1: needs me to fucking show her, but anyway, and so

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Speaker 1: you push the bar straight up vertically from the top

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Speaker 1: of your chest. That's called a military press, or it's

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Speaker 1: a form of a shoulder press. Right. So on military

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Speaker 1: press they increased by an average of zero point seven

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Speaker 1: of a kilo. It's a hard lift, by the way.

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Speaker 1: So remembering that had already been doing all of these lifts, now,

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Speaker 1: in the seven week initial phase of the trial, where

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Speaker 1: they knew they weren't taking drugs, the average improvement was

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Speaker 1: a mere point seven of a kilo. Now, then during

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Speaker 1: the four weeks, again about half the time where they

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Speaker 1: believed they were on drugs, the average improvement was seven

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Speaker 1: point six kilos, which is a one thousand percent improvement

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Speaker 1: on the preceding seven weeks. So they ten exed it.

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Speaker 1: It went from point seven to seven point six, which

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Speaker 1: is a ten x improvement in four weeks over seven

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Speaker 1: So so what does it tell us? Well, and there's

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Speaker 1: no opinion in this, there's no there's just data. So

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Speaker 1: the evidence was clear every athlete, every athlete got fundamentally

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Speaker 1: much stronger because they believed they were taking steroids. So

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Speaker 1: whatever had to happen psychologically, physiologically, and so there's a

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Speaker 1: bunch of theories around this, but I think that the

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Speaker 1: implications for us are and we could talk about, you know,

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Speaker 1: the psychological physiological link and what might be happening. But

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Speaker 1: I think the implication and the one of the many

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Speaker 1: takeaways is, oh, when I believe that i can do

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Speaker 1: this amazing shit, right because I've got this magic drug

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Speaker 1: in my body that I know. Oh, I know about steroids.

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Speaker 1: They make you stronger, and I'm on them, so I'm

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Speaker 1: going to get stronger. So there's this correlation between absolute

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00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: expectation and belief and output and outcome. Like there's no hesitation,

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Speaker 1: there's no self doubt because all of the six participants

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Speaker 1: new in inverted commas, they had this they have this

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Speaker 1: hormonal advantage. Well, actually that just been lied to how

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Speaker 1: fucking great is that?

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Speaker 3: Do you reckon any of that comes into How beginners,

396
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Speaker 3: when you first start training, you get such great adaptation

397
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Speaker 3: to weight training, and then once you're you're a seasoned

398
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Speaker 3: like strength trainer, you don't get quite the games. Do

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Speaker 3: you reckon? There's anything that comes into just because all

400
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,639
Speaker 3: of a sudden, it's like I never used to do

401
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Speaker 3: this stuff.

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Speaker 2: Oh now I do this stuff.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to get strong, and then it becomes something

404
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Speaker 3: you just do every day and it's just the normal

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Speaker 3: in your mind.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Look, I think also, I mean, we do know

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Speaker 1: purely just from the physiology point of view, you're going

408
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Speaker 1: to make. You know, if you do everything properly, you're

409
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Speaker 1: going to make your greatest games in the first six

410
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Speaker 1: months because you're starting at zero. But I do think that,

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Speaker 1: you know, like there are times when for example, last week, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I typically do when I do chins, I do

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Speaker 1: typically sets of you've seen me, I do sets of

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Speaker 1: eight to ten, right, And last week I was in

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Speaker 1: the gym and I looked up at the clock and

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Speaker 1: I had to I think I had to actually race

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Speaker 1: back to do a podcast with you. I was like

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Speaker 1: three minutes late leaving the gym, and I'd realized I

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Speaker 1: hadn't done any chins, and I went, right, I'm just

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Speaker 1: going to do one max set. Now, Normally eight to

421
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Speaker 1: ten is hard, but I knew that I could only

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Speaker 1: do one set because I didn't have time. And I

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Speaker 1: did seventeen, right, So I did about double what I

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Speaker 1: normally do. But I thought, well, I've only got one minute,

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Speaker 1: I've only got one set, so I'll fucking blow him

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Speaker 1: my back apart. I'll do everything I can. And so

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Speaker 1: the sixty one year old body with fucked everything did

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Speaker 1: seventeen proper chins, right. And it's not like all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden I've got more strength, or I've got better

430
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Speaker 1: genetics or but it's just funny when you go, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna Now, if you had to come up to me

432
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: at number seventeen and said here's a thousand bucks, do

433
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 1: three more, I could not have done it. I couldn't

434
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 1: have done it.

435
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 2: Do you have a number in your head?

436
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: No? No, I just went, I'm just well, I was.

437
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: I think I was thinking fifteen, but I thought I'm

438
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: probably not going to get there. Yeah, and I got

439
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: to thirteen with relative ease. You know. Anyway, my point

440
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 1: is like a completely different Like I didn't go in

441
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,679
Speaker 1: thinking eight to ten. I just went, ah, fuck, I

442
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 1: need to If I can only do one set, it

443
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 1: better be an amazing set or I'm going to get

444
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: no benefit, you know. And I just think I love

445
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,199
Speaker 1: this story because you know, it's not about drugs, and

446
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: it's not about how much they lifted or didn't lift.

447
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 1: It's about, Oh, isn't it amazing? And we've had this

448
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:11,200
Speaker 1: with Jeffrey Riddeger and numerous other people talking about place Ebos.

449
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 1: It's just incredible when you go, ah, what could I

450
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 1: actually do if I get my mind out of the way,

451
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: or perhaps even better, I get my mind totally on

452
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 1: board where my self belief or my expectation is in

453
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,120
Speaker 1: a way different place. Now.

454
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, it reminds me of I've been revisiting one of

455
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 3: Brene Brown Brown's books and she was talking about this

456
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 3: part where she was researching and asking everybody and having

457
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,360
Speaker 3: this real grapple with herself like do you really think

458
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 3: people are doing their best? And like she talks about

459
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 3: being in with her therapist and she's like, do you

460
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,639
Speaker 3: really think everyone's doing their best?

461
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 2: Like trying their best? And she was grappy.

462
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 3: She was like, I don't like she couldn't handle everyone's

463
00:25:55,600 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 3: going like yeah, yeah, And then she asked her husband

464
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 3: and he thought about it for ages, and then he goes,

465
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:07,120
Speaker 3: I don't know, but I know that when I believe,

466
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,479
Speaker 3: when I think that people are doing their best, my

467
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:10,160
Speaker 3: life's better.

468
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 2: And I loved that.

469
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,400
Speaker 3: It's like the power of what you choose to believe

470
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,120
Speaker 3: if you analyze it, like, if I choose to believe

471
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 3: that everyone is doing their best, then I can be

472
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 3: more empathetic, then my life can be better. It doesn't matter,

473
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 3: Like the only thing that matters is the difference it

474
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 3: makes to your life.

475
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,640
Speaker 1: Oh, there's a couple of things in that. I thought

476
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,399
Speaker 1: you were going to go somewhere different with that, because

477
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 1: like what came up for me was when I think

478
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 1: of am I doing my best? I'm like, is this

479
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:44,400
Speaker 1: absolutely the best I could humanly do? Well, no, I'm

480
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 1: not doing my best? Then, do you know what I mean? Yeah?

481
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 1: But I also understand it turned around and I think, also,

482
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 1: you know, what is the best for you today Friday

483
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 1: might not be the same what is the best for

484
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 1: you on Monday? Because I'm Monday. Your back's a bit better,

485
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: You've had a great sleep, you've been laughing your off.

486
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,360
Speaker 1: You fucking you're happy as a pig in shits. Your

487
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,120
Speaker 1: energy is through the roof. So your Monday best could

488
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,200
Speaker 1: be quite different to your Friday best. I don't think

489
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 1: our best, whatever we're talking about, is a constant. I

490
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 1: think it's a variable based on a bunch of other variables.

491
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, everything that's going on for people, and

492
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 3: you know, like where they're at. But and just the

493
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 3: idea of judgment, like a what sort of person am

494
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,120
Speaker 3: I when I have judgment on others? What's really going

495
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,439
Speaker 3: on inside my mind? And how does that affect me?

496
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: Yeah? And also I mean, now getting philosophical, like what

497
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: does it matter, like Craig, if you do seven eight

498
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 1: chins or three sets of eight in the grand scheme

499
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 1: of things, does it fucking matter? Oh? Probably not? Probably not.

500
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 1: Like being functional and being somewhat strong and being able

501
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 1: to do you know, having a body at sixty odd

502
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,719
Speaker 1: that works? Okay, that's the main thing, isn't it.

503
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 3: Yeah?

504
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 1: I guess so, you know, so there's it's almost like that. Well,

505
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 1: so you know your job, yeah yeah, yeah, for the

506
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 1: most part, enjoy it, yep, And you make pretty good

507
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 1: dough yep, so it's all okay, right, It's like, so

508
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 1: you don't need three times the income or no, no,

509
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,360
Speaker 1: and nothing wrong with making three times, but you go

510
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 1: does it? Like, is the angst is the effort? Is

511
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 1: the And sometimes the answer is yes, it's all worth it.

512
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: But There's been a bunch of things that I've done

513
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: over the years where I've fucking nearly killed myself to

514
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: do the thing. And then I did the thing, and

515
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 1: then I went, why do I do that?

516
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 2: I was on a you.

517
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 3: Know, on a ride the other day, a pushbuck ride,

518
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 3: and I was just letting my mind wonder and thinking

519
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 3: about things, and I was kind of analyzing my mindset

520
00:28:56,040 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 3: and my current like what am I doing, what are

521
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 3: my goals? Where am I at? How is my life?

522
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 3: How do I think? And I was like, do I

523
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 3: I wonder how much of my drive and ambition shifts

524
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 3: to hold on to some sort of belief that exists

525
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 3: around whether or not I'm allowed.

526
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 2: To be happy?

527
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 3: Because I was out for a ride and I'd had

528
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 3: a huge week of focusing differently and doing lots of work,

529
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 3: and you know, I was like, this is good, right now,

530
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 3: I have this moment of time I can just go

531
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 3: outside and go for a ride by myself and be

532
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 3: in the sun, and how beautiful. And there was this

533
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 3: underlying oh, out in the sun, just going for a ride.

534
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 3: I hope no one rings you and asks you what

535
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 3: you're doing. There was almost a thought of it, like

536
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 3: someone rings you and ask you what you're doing? Like

537
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 3: who are you to? I was like this, what is

538
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 3: that like? And how much of that drives my business

539
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 3: and everything that I do? Like it's quite comfort It

540
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 3: was pretty confronting.

541
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's the origin story for that? Because that is

542
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 1: that's almost sl oh Well, if you're not being productive

543
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: and effective and efficient, then you should feel bad, you

544
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 1: should feel guilty, you should feel convicted, Like what's that about?

545
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think that can fall into self sabotage

546
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 3: at times or that or just I don't know, Like

547
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 3: we make decisions to prove an unconscious point, and what

548
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 3: if the unconscious point I'm trying to prove is you'll

549
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 3: never be enough and you don't really deserve to be happy,

550
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 3: So keep striving for shit that lives just outside of

551
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 3: that happiness because you're not allowed to be you're not

552
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 3: allowed to live inside the happiness realm.

553
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's interesting.

554
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 2: By the way, to would agree, but well.

555
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 1: You know, it's somebody. Somebody said, I think this is

556
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 1: a funny thing. Right. That doesn't happen a lot, but

557
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:47,479
Speaker 1: it happens somewhat regularly where because I do a lot

558
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: of talking with people, as you do, and you know,

559
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 1: I regularly, at least four or five days a week,

560
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 1: I talk to someone who's really not in a great place, right,

561
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 1: And some times those conversations are twenty minutes and sometimes

562
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 1: they're two hours, right, And I love that, and that's

563
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: a privilege, and that's part of part of what I

564
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 1: think I meant to be doing, as fluffy as that sounds.

565
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: But every now and then someone comes up to me

566
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 1: and goes, are you okay though, which is nice, right,

567
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 1: and I go, yeah, I am. And then they're like, yeah, cool,

568
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 1: I know you say that, but are you right? And

569
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 1: you know, when you think you're okay, but then you're like, well, fuck,

570
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: maybe I'm not, like can hell, They're looking at me

571
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: like I'm actually not, but I don't know it, you know,

572
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 1: And then I go, fuck, am I all right? And

573
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: I think the fact like that whole happiness is such

574
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 1: a weird construct it's such a weird. I know it

575
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: seems like not weird, but I reckon it's weird because well,

576
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 1: what like if we associate happiness with an emotion or

577
00:31:55,760 --> 00:32:00,160
Speaker 1: a feeling or a state or a moment in time one,

578
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 1: what does that feel like experientially for Tiff? What does

579
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: it feel like for our listener? What does it feel

580
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: like for me?

581
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 4: And is it is it like is it like that?

582
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 4: Is it like joy? Is it like just calmness? Is

583
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 4: it contentment?

584
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 1: And for me, the feeling that is the most enjoyable

585
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: probably not the right word, but the feeling that I

586
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 1: enjoy the most is almost like a mix between calm,

587
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: contentment and relief, you know, where there's just do you

588
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 1: ever get home from a big run and you just

589
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 1: sit down and it's like you just fucked, but you

590
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 1: feel it's like a great fucked. It's like all the

591
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: anxieties out of your body, all the nerves all that,

592
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: and you're just like it's like a kind of a bliss.

593
00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 1: Yeah right, I love that that bliss where I'm not happy,

594
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 1: Like I'm definitely not unhappy, but it's not like I'm like, oh, yeah,

595
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 1: fucking the hell, come on? Yeah, Like that's not going

596
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 1: on at all. It's just this deep sense of gratitude.

597
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: And I know this sounds fucking cheesy, but contentment bliss

598
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 1: come like for me, that's my version of my happy place,

599
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 1: Like that whole kind of euphoric joy punching the air.

600
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: I don't get that that much. Yeah.

601
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I feel like happiness is would be so

602
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 3: different for different people, because for some people, the feeling

603
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 3: that we describe might be something that's interpreted by way

604
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 3: of just hitting pause on the anxiety, the worry or

605
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 3: the state of tension. It's like, oh, when that disappears,

606
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 3: it's like toxic relationships. Oh when something disappears and then

607
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 3: I feel good for them and I feel familiar. So oh,

608
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:07,959
Speaker 3: this is happiness just because that feeling of anxiety disappeared.

609
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I was thinking yesterday about I'm always writing

610
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 1: articles which eventually get turned into a chat with you, right,

611
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 1: or or or a solo episode or a or part

612
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 1: of a workshop. But I was thinking about this idea

613
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:33,919
Speaker 1: of for one of the better term shiny things, right,

614
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 1: all the shiny like I reckon.

615
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 2: My blood love shiny things.

616
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, Yeah, you're the fucking shiny thing. Queen,

617
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:42,879
Speaker 1: what's that over there?

618
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 2: What's that?

619
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 3: What's that?

620
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:50,240
Speaker 1: What's that? Right? And I was thinking about how much

621
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 1: it's almost like and this is not about you, this

622
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,360
Speaker 1: is about all of us at some stage, me included.

623
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: But it's also it's almost like the seduction of the superficial.

624
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 1: It's like I need that. Oh I want that fuck

625
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,359
Speaker 1: And then I get it and I'm like, yeah, but

626
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: that didn't. Yeah that's not enough. I need more. I

627
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:12,400
Speaker 1: need another one. I need fucking a bigger one, you know,

628
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 1: And I'm you know, I've done that mile life with shit.

629
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 1: And then you go, all right, all right, well, what

630
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: is what is that about? You know where you're you're

631
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 1: kind of trying to do a deep dive or I've

632
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: been doing a bit of a somewhat deep dive under

633
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 1: trying to get underneath my my motivators, you know, like

634
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 1: you know, you talk philosophically about I want to help people,

635
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,319
Speaker 1: I want to do this, I want to do that.

636
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 1: Do you like, do you though, or do you just

637
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 1: say that because you sound good when you say that,

638
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 1: because you know, there are times when the evidence in

639
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:53,399
Speaker 1: my life is not always in alignment with what's coming

640
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 1: out of my gob trying to sound good on a podcast.

641
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 1: Just go look in the garage at the four motorbikes,

642
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,240
Speaker 1: right that might you might go, I don't know, mister

643
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 1: deep and spiritual, what the fuck are all these about?

644
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:07,359
Speaker 4: You know?

645
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, what And it's not I mean,

646
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 1: I don't think. Yeah, I don't know. It's an interesting

647
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 1: thing to try to have. And again, this is not

648
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 1: self loathing, but to try to have a level of

649
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:25,280
Speaker 1: real self awareness that is almost unnew, like an unnew

650
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,359
Speaker 1: level where you're like, oh, we're not beating yourself up,

651
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 1: but you're also not giving yourself a break. Because I

652
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 1: think there are times when we need to give ourselves

653
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 1: a break of course, bit of self care, bit of

654
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: self love, of course, but I also think there are

655
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,319
Speaker 1: times when you've got to go, nah, Craig, you're a

656
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: bit full of shit.

657
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that was another. I guess it feels relatable

658
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 3: to when I was writing and thinking deeply and I

659
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:57,360
Speaker 3: was thinking about like me and my independence and that

660
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 3: I've just done a session on boundaries with my coaching group,

661
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 3: so I was thinking about that and the work I've

662
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 3: had to do in life, because boundaries was one of

663
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 3: the biggest lessons I had to learned, and I was

664
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 3: just thinking, like, one part of me is really aware

665
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 3: of how self ish self like, I look after like

666
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 3: in an independent way selfish, I look after me. I'm

667
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,880
Speaker 3: very protective, I've been I have to be really aware

668
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 3: of that. But also I was reflecting on at the

669
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 3: very same time that lack of boundaries and the putting

670
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:41,919
Speaker 3: myself last, like putting everyone else first and prioritizing what

671
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 3: everyone else's needs. And I was like, well, because that's

672
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 3: the opposite of selfish. So are you selfish or aren't

673
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 3: you selfish? Like how do these two aspects of you

674
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,840
Speaker 3: even live in the one moment? And how can you

675
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 3: not be.

676
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 2: Aware of that? And you have to figure out how

677
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 2: they even work together.

678
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 3: Yes, they sit for they feel like the polar opposite.

679
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, I believe it's they come out in

680
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 3: different moments. Oh, I'm really selfish because that fits the

681
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 3: narrative in a moment, But then in another moment, Oh,

682
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 3: I've got no boundaries, you know, I just I'm all

683
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 3: about everybody else.

684
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 2: It's like, well, yeah, what's the where's the truth live?

685
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 1: I want to I want to read you something which

686
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: kind of insects with what we're talking about a bit

687
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 1: I'm writing. I haven't named Tom Melissa this because she'll

688
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,520
Speaker 1: sack me. But I've started writing a book, but I

689
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 1: don't have time to write a book. What it's, don't you?

690
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 2: Bloody schoolwork mate?

691
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,840
Speaker 1: My schoolwork? Yeah? My pants. Well, it's like sometimes I

692
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 1: have an idea, well all the fucking time.

693
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:51,839
Speaker 2: Sometimes sometimes you have an idea.

694
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 1: I know it's too fertile. I get out of the shower.

695
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 1: I have a big white wood in my bedroom which

696
00:38:56,880 --> 00:39:01,360
Speaker 1: is eight feet long. I often walk dripping two because

697
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: I don't want all the shit that's in my head.

698
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 1: So I walk wet on the carpet and then I

699
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 1: just write this shit so I can get it. I

700
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 1: need a whiteboard in the bathroom, That's what I need.

701
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 3: You need to not tell visual stories like that for

702
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,879
Speaker 3: us visual humans that are all listening to the show

703
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 3: right now, with pictures we never needed.

704
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,439
Speaker 1: As are you saying that me walking from the shower,

705
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 1: dripping wet as its.

706
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 2: Move on with the story.

707
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,920
Speaker 1: Okay, well we can't all be fucking awesome. Can we.

708
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:33,840
Speaker 2: Tell me you've got a teel around you?

709
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:38,320
Speaker 1: Yeah? Of course, yep, now of course, Oh there's nothing

710
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:43,319
Speaker 1: inappropriate hanging out because that's what I that's what anyway,

711
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 1: this is much more savory than what we're talking about.

712
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: So I was putting down some shit I was writing about,

713
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 1: you know, pursuant to the shiny things idea, one of

714
00:39:56,080 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 1: the core teaching. So this is in a Buddhism. One

715
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 1: of the core teachings of Foreknoble Truths says that suffering

716
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 1: is caused by craving, including craving for success, for praise,

717
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 1: for recognition, that is, chasing the stuff. Chasing that stuff

718
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: endlessly is part of what keeps us stuck in dissatisfaction.

719
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 1: Buddhism doesn't reject success, but redefines it from having to

720
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 1: being fucking love that it invites people to trade the

721
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 1: appearance of success for the experience of peace. In the

722
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:36,240
Speaker 1: way success is often defined by accumulation of titleswell status,

723
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 1: In Buddhism, success is measured by reduction, not accumulation, reduction

724
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 1: of ego, of craving of suffering. Buddhism teaches it the

725
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: more we cling to external validation, the further we drift

726
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 1: from peace. True success in this tradition has nothing to

727
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 1: do with being seen or celebrated, and everything to do

728
00:40:55,920 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 1: with being free, free from comparison, and less driving and

729
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,839
Speaker 1: the need to prove ourselves. How good's that?

730
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 3: I love that you remind me of a quote I

731
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 3: fell in love with recently. There was something along the

732
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 3: lines of the rich man is not he who has

733
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 3: the most, but he who needs the less the least.

734
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:16,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, love it, love it.

735
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:17,439
Speaker 3: Yeah.

736
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 1: Well on that very fucking spiritual come by, you know moment.

737
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:26,320
Speaker 1: Let's not think about me walking out of the shower

738
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:29,879
Speaker 1: to write shit on the whiteboard. Let's erase that. Let's

739
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 1: get back on this wisdom that we just shared. And

740
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 1: for you visual learners, I'm sorry. Ah wow. We'll see

741
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:43,839
Speaker 1: you next time.

742
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:45,920
Speaker 2: Thanks tip, Thanks Hart