1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:05,560 Speaker 1: Get a Champs. So yesterday, oh hi, by the way, hoppy, 2 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 1: Well it was rude to me, wasn't it just fucking 3 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:13,399 Speaker 1: jumping in like that? So yesterday I'm moving shit on 4 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: my desk and I should stop doing that or stop recording, 5 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: but fuck it, I'm not going to I'm going to 6 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 1: keep going. Yesterday I recorded an episode around the dark Side. 7 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: That's dramatic, isn't it the dark side of self help? 8 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,239 Speaker 1: Or the shadow side of self help? I think I 9 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 1: caught it or something like that, and we explored the 10 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: idea that, you know, not all self help is particularly 11 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: helpful or insightful or accurate or vaguely fucking scientific. A 12 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 1: lot of it is a bit mystical, magical thinking unicorns 13 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 1: and puppies, and hey, look over here and buy my program, 14 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: buy my whatever right now. Not saying all self help 15 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: personal development is bad. Course, that's the habitat that I 16 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 1: periodically in habit. I guess I'd like to think of 17 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: myself more as somebody who's a little bit more research 18 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 1: focused and a little bit more in the scientific and 19 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: academic and legitimate human behavior space than the meme guy. 20 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: And even though I post a lot of shit, I 21 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,960 Speaker 1: think most of my shits, I feel like I'm being defensive. 22 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 1: Now I've just had a moment of self awareness. Am 23 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: I let me think about that? Maybe I am don't 24 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: mean to be, But so what's my point? My point 25 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 1: is I try very hard to post stuff that I 26 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 1: believe is critically thought through, is real, is true, is 27 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: genuinely helpful or potentially helpful. I'm not interested in sharing 28 00:01:55,680 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: stuff with the world that is feel goods, pseudo scientific fluff. 29 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: Having said that, sometimes I'll post things that are just silly, 30 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: not at all helpful. But my goal is just to 31 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: fucking make someone laugh or smile, and I think that's okay. 32 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 1: As well. With yesterday's feedback and momentum that was created, 33 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: I had a few people reach out and go that 34 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: was interesting and wanted to know, what are some of 35 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: the things that you were What are some of those 36 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: ideas or core messages or common kind of themes that 37 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: you have an issue with? And I went, they are 38 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: good questions, so I'm going to share some of these. 39 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: Are some of these I actually have taken from specific sites. 40 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,920 Speaker 1: I won't say the name of the sites or the 41 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: pages because because I don't want to so fucking they're 42 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,799 Speaker 1: so buck and there. I don't want to, and it's 43 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: my podcast, so I'm not going to. And I of 44 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 1: course I don't want to run people down, and I 45 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: don't think there's any point. I think we're We're not 46 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,959 Speaker 1: trying to throw anyone under the bus. We're just trying 47 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: to think critically about things that people say and whether 48 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,800 Speaker 1: or not those things that people say are valuable and 49 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: helpful to us, us who want to do life well. 50 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 1: The first thing, now this is not this the first 51 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,639 Speaker 1: one about to share, which is you need to find 52 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: your purpose, which is a very or. We all have 53 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: a purpose. What's your purpose? You know? I've discovered my purpose. 54 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: The problem with the or, my or it is that 55 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: they're all kind of singular, right, And I think the thinking. 56 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: I like the idea of this, but I think we 57 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: need to go a little bit deeper. And I think 58 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: the problem is that it is suggesting that we have 59 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 1: a one singular purpose. What if we don't, What if 60 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: we have lots of different purposes. I don't think my 61 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 1: only purpose is to love my mum and dad, keep 62 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: them safe, look after them, protect them, and be an 63 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:24,039 Speaker 1: awesome son, although I do believe that's part of my purpose. 64 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:29,280 Speaker 1: That's one of my purposes. What's the plural of purposes? 65 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 1: I feel like it should be per pie is purpose 66 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: is poor pie? Anyway? Anyway? See what I mean? Must 67 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:43,599 Speaker 1: try harder in class. But I feel like a lot 68 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 1: of us not only do we have more than a 69 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:50,000 Speaker 1: single purpose. Right, one of my My purpose might be 70 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 1: what I just said. It might also be to be 71 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: a lifelong learner. It might also be to be of 72 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: service and value to you people that a lot of 73 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: people that I have haven't met. It might be to 74 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: to what else might be to be a lifelong learner. 75 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,279 Speaker 1: It might be to make people laugh. It doesn't I 76 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: don't think. I don't think that our purpose or our 77 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 1: purposes need to be necessarily groundbreaking, world expanding, life changing 78 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: mega constructs at all at all? And also, your honor, 79 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: while I'm pleading my case, what's to say that my 80 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,360 Speaker 1: purpose when I'm twenty five, which was thirty six years ago, 81 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 1: is my purpose at sixty one? Why does it need 82 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 1: to be the same? And so I think that our 83 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: purpose or in other words, our reason for being, or 84 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: the thing that we want to do be create, or 85 00:05:55,800 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 1: influence or represent whatever whatever, Right, even the two purpose 86 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 1: like what does that mean? It means different things to 87 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:07,919 Speaker 1: different people, like what's the purpose of a fucking screwdriver? 88 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 1: To what's a screw screws? I guess I'm not sure 89 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,839 Speaker 1: why I use that as a but what's your purpose? 90 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: I don't think it's a single thing, right, I don't 91 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: think mine is a single thing. And I think that 92 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: this idea that you need to have a single purpose 93 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:31,160 Speaker 1: can be restrictive, It can be frustrating, it can be 94 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 1: derailing and limiting. And perhaps I think, I think again, 95 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,279 Speaker 1: this is don't believe this because I think this. Put 96 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,839 Speaker 1: this under the you microscope, or put it up on 97 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: the old hoist, walk around, kick the tires, see what 98 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 1: you think. But I think a better idea than finding 99 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 1: your purpose your single purpose, is to find your values, 100 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: the things that matter to you, like the things that 101 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:04,920 Speaker 1: are really important. And then when you figure out the 102 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,920 Speaker 1: things that are important to you, like whatever they are, 103 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: whether or not that's growing and learning or love or 104 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: health or connecting with other humans or the environment or nature, 105 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: or raising a family or building wealth or by the way, 106 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: there's no judgment in any of this. Nothing wrong with 107 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: being widely ambitious and wanting to be a billionaire. Let's 108 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: not be judging, judge stuff. Not everything's got to be about, 109 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: you know, planting trees and saving the animals. They're good things. 110 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 1: But people's values are people's values. So what are your values? 111 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: And then if you can build an operating system and 112 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: a life around that, a way of being and doing, 113 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 1: then you'll probably find in the middle of all of 114 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: that your purpose or purposes emerge as a byproduct. Well, fuck, 115 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 1: this is good as a byproduct, he says humbly, as 116 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: a byproduct, Finish your fuck and see as a byproduct 117 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 1: of finding your values and building an existence around those. 118 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 1: All right, So that's number one, that took forever. Number 119 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: two You can do anything you set your mind too. Sure, 120 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 1: can't the end. Next, No, let's expand. It's a nice thought, 121 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 1: and I think a better meme, but probably would gain 122 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: less traction and be less popular. Let's be honest, because 123 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 1: the idea, the idea, the notion that you can do 124 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: anything you set your mind to. That's fucking amazing. Oh yeah, 125 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 1: let's hug it all out. Let's shake our hands, let's 126 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: shake our jazz hands, because you can do fucking anything. 127 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 1: Oh you can't, you can't. You can't run one hundred 128 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,839 Speaker 1: meters in nine seconds. You can't become a billionaire by 129 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 1: next week. We can't all be president or Prime minister. 130 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:01,120 Speaker 1: We can't all be oscar winners. We can't get up 131 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,959 Speaker 1: on the house and just top of the house and 132 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: just fly across to the next house using our arms 133 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 1: because we're pretending we're a fucking bird. Can't do that. 134 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 1: We can't all heal ourselves instantly, We can't all So 135 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,880 Speaker 1: there are so many things that we can't do. But 136 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 1: I think the better message is there's probably a lot 137 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 1: of things that you can do that you don't think 138 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: you can. There are probably many things that you have 139 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 1: the potential to do that you're not currently doing. Can 140 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 1: you do anything? No? Can you probably do a lot 141 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: more than you're currently doing. Can you be more than 142 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 1: you are currently Can you create more? Can you ask 143 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 1: better questions, produce better outcomes? Find more joy, find more happiness? 144 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:55,080 Speaker 1: These are good questions to lean into the problem with 145 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,119 Speaker 1: one of the many problems with you can do anything? 146 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,080 Speaker 1: Is it? Well? Obviously one you can't, but two when 147 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:07,839 Speaker 1: you tell, for example, a young child who doesn't have 148 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: the athletic ability to become an olympian that they can 149 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: become an Olympic sprinter just because you want them to 150 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,680 Speaker 1: when they want to. What happens when they don't become 151 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 1: an Olympic sprinter? What happens when you tell when you 152 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: tell that child that they have an amazing, beautiful voice, 153 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,840 Speaker 1: when they don't beautiful to you. I understand that beautiful 154 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 1: in the sense that it's a child singing. That's beautiful. 155 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: But if you had got little fat Craig Harper at 156 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: seven singing, you would have fucking run out of the 157 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 1: house with your fingers in your ears because great to 158 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:47,600 Speaker 1: hear him singing, But he can't sing for shit. So 159 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: when you tell little fat seven year old Craig Harper, wow, 160 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: you could be a world bloody renowned, famous musical star 161 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: or singer, that doesn't help me because that isn't true 162 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 1: because I don't have the innate potential. If somebody has 163 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 1: the innate potential and talent, that's a different thing. But 164 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 1: also even if they do, keep this in mind, even 165 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:18,240 Speaker 1: if they do have the raw potential to be a superstar, 166 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: there are a lot of other variables, of course, which 167 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 1: may preclude them from becoming that superstar. So yes, you 168 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 1: can you can do more things. You can probably be 169 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 1: more than you imagine. But we also need to be 170 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 1: realistic and practical so that we are not setting people 171 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 1: up for delusion or disappointment or frustration or sadness or worse. 172 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: So to those people in your world, encourage them, support them, 173 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:59,560 Speaker 1: help them develop and grow and learn be that person. 174 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: But also it is important that in the middle of 175 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: all the motivation and inspiration that were also being realistic 176 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 1: and practical. Next one number three my least favorite self 177 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:20,719 Speaker 1: help messages I'm sharing today. Number three stand by ah. 178 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: This is what happens when you're an only child, right. 179 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: Number three, Things will work themselves out. It's all right, love, 180 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,839 Speaker 1: things will work themselves out. It's okay. Things will work 181 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:35,439 Speaker 1: themselves out. Oh you know what, things will work themselves 182 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:41,440 Speaker 1: It's not. They won't sometimes maybe sometimes maybe things just 183 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: end up a way that works for us. But when 184 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:50,079 Speaker 1: we say things like external variables will work themselves out, 185 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: we're saying that like there is some kind of conscious 186 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 1: process on behalf of the aforementioned things to work out 187 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 1: in a way that is good for you. Well, that 188 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 1: is bullshit. That is not true. Sometimes things will somehow 189 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:13,359 Speaker 1: end up in a way where it's for your benefits. 190 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 1: But there are also sometimes things work out to be 191 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:22,679 Speaker 1: a fucking catastrophe. And you know that, sometimes things work 192 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 1: out to be a fucking major problem or barrier or 193 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 1: hurdle on planet You so too, And what we do 194 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,679 Speaker 1: when we tell people or we tell ourselves that things 195 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:37,079 Speaker 1: will work out, we're kind of saying, I don't need 196 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 1: to do anything. You don't need to get involved, you 197 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 1: don't need to solve the problem, you don't need to 198 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: do anything hard, you don't need to take responsibility or accountability, 199 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 1: because things will work themselves out. Again, sounds great, doesn't it? 200 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:59,160 Speaker 1: Very comforting, makes us feel good, But it's that, Hey, 201 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,680 Speaker 1: you don't have to get off the couch thinking you 202 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:08,560 Speaker 1: don't have to, you don't have to work. It will 203 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:12,400 Speaker 1: just you know. Also, by the way, if the universe 204 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 1: wants it for you, oh fuck, don't get me started 205 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 1: on the universe and the universe, because the universe cares 206 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 1: about you and you fucking saw back anyway. Um, not true, 207 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 1: not true. So we need to work things out, and 208 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 1: sometimes things will fall in our lap fortuitously. Sometimes things 209 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 1: will work out in that sense for the better, which 210 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 1: is great, But that's not something. Relying on the fact 211 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,720 Speaker 1: that things will work themselves out is a terrible strategy 212 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 1: if you want to be successful, if you want to 213 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 1: build resilience, if you want to have a great body 214 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:55,640 Speaker 1: and health and relationships and career and financial success, and 215 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 1: your kind of underlying thinking or your overarching strategy is 216 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: things will work themselves out. Will batten down the hatches 217 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 1: because you're going to be fucking sad and disappointed. Then 218 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 1: number three, number four, and this is almost sounds quite 219 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: on Craig Harpery. So the message is nothing good happens 220 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:22,520 Speaker 1: when you're comfortable. That almost sounds like something I would say, 221 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:26,680 Speaker 1: nothing good happens when you're comfortable. Well, I think also 222 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 1: that's bullshit. Having said that, I'm a fan of periodic 223 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 1: and strategic and well thought through discomfort. I'm a big 224 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:42,360 Speaker 1: fan of that. Because when we choose to do the 225 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 1: hard thing, to lift the weight, to go for the run, 226 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 1: to take the financial risk, to have the hard conversation, 227 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,560 Speaker 1: to get vulnerable, to get out of our little box, 228 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 1: to step out of and away from the safety net, 229 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:57,200 Speaker 1: and all of those metaphors, that is quite often, not always, 230 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 1: but that is quite often the time when we increase 231 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:03,480 Speaker 1: resilience and strength and awareness, and we learn more about ourselves. 232 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,720 Speaker 1: So there's definitely value in discomfort. But to say that 233 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: nothing good happens when we're comfortable, well that's fucking ridiculous 234 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 1: because comfort is awesome. Comfort is great me lying on 235 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 1: the bed watching Netflix. To say that nothing good comes 236 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 1: from that, well that's bullshit, because I'm happy as fuck, 237 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 1: I'm having a good time. My body is relaxed, my 238 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 1: mind's relaxed, I'm not overthinking, I'm not stressed, I'm not anxious. 239 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:36,560 Speaker 1: You know, that's kind of bullshit. So good things happen 240 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:40,400 Speaker 1: when we're comfortable, and good things happen when we're uncomfortable. 241 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: It doesn't need to be one or the other all 242 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 1: of the time. It's a balance between strategic discomfort, which 243 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:52,000 Speaker 1: is hopefully going to lead to some kind of growth 244 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:58,080 Speaker 1: of evolution, development, gain success, and also being able to like, 245 00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 1: we don't want to be all of that. We don't 246 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:04,920 Speaker 1: want to the driven super psycho, fucking nose to the grindstone, 247 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,880 Speaker 1: you know, win at all costs. You know, if you're 248 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:12,480 Speaker 1: not uncomfortable, then you're not bragging whatever. I mean, that's ridiculous. 249 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:16,240 Speaker 1: So some discomfort some of the time, not all of 250 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,120 Speaker 1: the time. Some comfort some of the time, not all 251 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 1: of the time. It's about getting the balance. The balance. Now, 252 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 1: now I'm going to do one or two that have 253 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,920 Speaker 1: been Actually I was gonna I'm not even gonna say 254 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: I've got the people who said these, But this is 255 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,240 Speaker 1: a famous ish quote. Well, it came up as a 256 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,680 Speaker 1: meme on my thing. I don't even know the person 257 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,480 Speaker 1: that it was credited to, but this is what it said. 258 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:49,439 Speaker 1: The minute you decide you want better for yourself is 259 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:53,520 Speaker 1: the minute the entire universe begins to shift in your favor. 260 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:59,880 Speaker 1: What a fucking load of garbage. Really, Show me one 261 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:05,359 Speaker 1: bit of evidence that that is real? Show me anything 262 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:10,639 Speaker 1: to say that the minute that I decide, what about 263 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: the kid living in the congo, who's five, who's got malaria, 264 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:22,200 Speaker 1: who's drink and dirty water, who lives in abject poverty, 265 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 1: whose life is a constant struggle. Are you telling me 266 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 1: that all that kid needs to do is just decide 267 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 1: they want better? See? This kind of stuff, for me, 268 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:44,400 Speaker 1: is problematic, This complete bullshit that people buy into and believe, 269 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 1: where they are actually taking away personal sovereignty and personal 270 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:59,639 Speaker 1: power from people, where and by the way, that little 271 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 1: example of that five year old child, I had a 272 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 1: guy called Justin wren On, who is a beautiful human 273 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:10,159 Speaker 1: being who builds wells for fresh water for children and 274 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:15,359 Speaker 1: families in the Congo, in fact, for the Pigmies, tribes 275 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:17,880 Speaker 1: of Pigmies who live in the Congo. And so I'm 276 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:21,639 Speaker 1: saying that with some insight, I'm giving that example. And 277 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:25,399 Speaker 1: so this kind of you know, bullshit that there are 278 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 1: a lot of people in the world just wanting better 279 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: for themselves doesn't help them because there are circumstances way 280 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:39,200 Speaker 1: beyond their fucking control. And this magical thinking that people 281 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:45,160 Speaker 1: talk about, not only is it completely untrue, but it's 282 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:50,439 Speaker 1: also it's also an insult. It's an insult to people 283 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 1: who are living in circumstances and situations that are beyond 284 00:19:55,240 --> 00:20:05,240 Speaker 1: their control. So fuck that thinking. Number six. Positivity is 285 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 1: a choice. Oh my god, Oh my god. The happiness 286 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: of your life. This is part two. The happiness of 287 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:18,919 Speaker 1: your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. Ah nah, 288 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:25,520 Speaker 1: look is there something in that year Kinder? Of course, 289 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,879 Speaker 1: what's going on in our mind has an emotional and 290 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: physiological impact and sociological impact. But you've got to remember 291 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 1: that thinking happens despite us, despite as well as because 292 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 1: of us, so can we. So to say positivity is 293 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:56,920 Speaker 1: a choice is an extremely inaccurate simplification of a multi dimensional, 294 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:04,479 Speaker 1: multi layered thing, Because positivity, you know, outlook how someone 295 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:09,160 Speaker 1: sees the world or situations, or themselves, or the past 296 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,439 Speaker 1: or the present of the future. This is not just 297 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,879 Speaker 1: a choice. Positivity is no, it's not. No, it's not. 298 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 1: There are many factors environment, situations, circumstance, finances are a biology, 299 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 1: a genetics, sociology, who we hang around, what we focus on, 300 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,119 Speaker 1: what we pay attention to. There are a myriad of 301 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,440 Speaker 1: variables which impact how positive we are or how negative 302 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,879 Speaker 1: we are. So to just wheel out this little simple 303 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,920 Speaker 1: cliche positivity is a choice, There you go, Brian, all 304 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 1: the best, just choose positive again. This is unhelpful, destructive, 305 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:57,639 Speaker 1: misleading bullshit that doesn't help people's lives. What is better 306 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 1: is to say, listen, Brian, to an extent, you can 307 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,679 Speaker 1: manage your thoughts with work and insight and awareness. And 308 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:09,320 Speaker 1: in fact, there's this thing called metacognition where we start 309 00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 1: to think about how we think and why we think 310 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 1: the way that we think, and we start to understand 311 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 1: our own programming and conditioning and socialization and maybe even 312 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,560 Speaker 1: try to understand our genetics when we look at our 313 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 1: mom and dad and grandma and grandpa. And then we 314 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 1: start to be a little bit more a scientific and 315 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:38,960 Speaker 1: big picture around this very complicated challenge, which is managing 316 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 1: our mind and managing our thoughts and managing our level 317 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: of positivity. So there is definitely a relationship between thoughts 318 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 1: and emotions and physiology and one's positivity or negative. There's 319 00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 1: definite relationship, definitely, But the idea that we can just 320 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:09,360 Speaker 1: choose positivity again ridiculous. Now the next one, I've never 321 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 1: heard it before, but I literally read it this week 322 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:19,800 Speaker 1: and it's accredited to You might do a search and 323 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 1: see if you find the same thing. It's accredited to 324 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 1: a very famous actor, A Block, a very very famous 325 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:33,719 Speaker 1: actor whom I quite like as an actor. But I 326 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,439 Speaker 1: don't know that he said it. I just saw this 327 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 1: quote with his name quoted underneath the quote, and the 328 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:43,520 Speaker 1: quote is, HM, he's fucking hilarious. This one. A man 329 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:47,720 Speaker 1: with no friends or a very small circle is a 330 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:52,040 Speaker 1: very very secure man. A man with no friends or 331 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,959 Speaker 1: a very small circle, I guess they mean circle of friends. 332 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:57,160 Speaker 1: So let me expand it. A man with no friends 333 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,439 Speaker 1: or a very small circle and brackets of friends is 334 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:05,880 Speaker 1: a very very secure man. What the fuck? What that's 335 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 1: fucking ridiculous. I know people with no friends that are 336 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:15,239 Speaker 1: super insecure, or very few friends, that are paranoid, that 337 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:18,960 Speaker 1: hate their life, that are lonely, that are disconnected, that 338 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:24,600 Speaker 1: are anything but secure, anything but happy. The idea that 339 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 1: the less friends you've got, the more secure you're going 340 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 1: to God, I'm not even going to spend much time 341 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:33,120 Speaker 1: on that, but fucking hell. All right, here's another one. 342 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,560 Speaker 1: And this is another one that I read. This is stupid, 343 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,960 Speaker 1: but this one, this had a picture of a dude 344 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:44,399 Speaker 1: and it had this meme written over the top or 345 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:48,520 Speaker 1: this message written over the top, and it had literally 346 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 1: thousands of shares and likes, and I'm like, I don't 347 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 1: get it. Here's what it said. Every family needs one 348 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:01,119 Speaker 1: unstable person who has no fear and is willing to 349 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:09,879 Speaker 1: go to war with whoever messes with their tribe. Oh God, really, 350 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,680 Speaker 1: is that what we're doing now? We need to find 351 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:17,119 Speaker 1: that one unstable, crazy person who will just fucking do whatever. 352 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:23,119 Speaker 1: I don't think, so I don't know that instability is 353 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,440 Speaker 1: the basis for anything great. I don't know that we'd 354 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:31,880 Speaker 1: be recommending it or endorsing it, but nonetheless, that message 355 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:36,800 Speaker 1: tens of thousands of likes, thousands of comments, thousands of shares. 356 00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,239 Speaker 1: I think there's a better way. I think there's a 357 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 1: better way to deal with things than necessarily. And of 358 00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:48,040 Speaker 1: course this is a metaphor here going to war. I 359 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,800 Speaker 1: think there are a lot of steps, there are a 360 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:54,920 Speaker 1: lot of variables around that, and I'm not you know, 361 00:25:55,000 --> 00:26:00,439 Speaker 1: there are times when I will get elevated if need be, 362 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 1: I will, I will, I will be whatever I need 363 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,640 Speaker 1: to be within reason to resolve certain things. I've been 364 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 1: in physical things where people have been threatening or intimidating 365 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:17,359 Speaker 1: or hurting people that I care about, And there is 366 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,720 Speaker 1: a time, you know, it's a last resort. But I 367 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 1: think I've told this story once before. I was out 368 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,520 Speaker 1: and about with my mum and dad a few years 369 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:30,240 Speaker 1: ago now, and somebody who clearly had some issues stepped 370 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,960 Speaker 1: in front of my mum and grabbed her my mum 371 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 1: on the arm because he wanted my mom to give 372 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,560 Speaker 1: her money, and he was quite forceful, and he literally 373 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 1: physically grabbed my mum. So there's a stary and that 374 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,119 Speaker 1: doesn't mean so great, you just go off like a 375 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,119 Speaker 1: crazy person and kill him. No, it doesn't mean that 376 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,240 Speaker 1: at all. It just means so, that's not a time 377 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: for me to have a chat to negotiate, That's a 378 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 1: time for me to intervene, you know, force with force. 379 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 1: I didn't hurt him, but he very quickly got the message. 380 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,680 Speaker 1: There's a time. But the message that every family needs 381 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:11,239 Speaker 1: an unstable person to go to war. I don't think so. 382 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:15,879 Speaker 1: I don't think so. All right, what else is on 383 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:21,320 Speaker 1: my list? All right? What about this one? Everything happens 384 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:27,359 Speaker 1: for a reason. Well, at its core, of course, I 385 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:32,720 Speaker 1: mean that is true. But the the energy or the 386 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:38,800 Speaker 1: intention I guess behind this message is that that you know, 387 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 1: even bad things happen for reason, a reason like that's 388 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,680 Speaker 1: that's that was meant to happen to you. There's some 389 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:53,879 Speaker 1: kind of cosmic script ensuring that all is going to plan. 390 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,880 Speaker 1: You needed to have this terrible thing happened to you 391 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:03,440 Speaker 1: so that you learned this lesson and that look, I 392 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:07,119 Speaker 1: this could be true. I don't think so. I don't 393 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:12,199 Speaker 1: think everything happens for a reason that you needed to 394 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:17,719 Speaker 1: have some profound I think, sometimes shit just happens, and 395 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,119 Speaker 1: the shit happens and we can assign it, meaning we 396 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,320 Speaker 1: can find that doesn't mean that we can't find a 397 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:27,080 Speaker 1: lesson in everything, but to think that everything that happens 398 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:33,760 Speaker 1: to you was somehow cosmically preordained. Again, this is one 399 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,119 Speaker 1: of those things I could I could find out one 400 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 1: day that everything is cosmically preordained and divinely scripted, and 401 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,720 Speaker 1: I have no fucking idea, but I don't have evidence 402 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:49,440 Speaker 1: for that yet. And I think I think sometimes you know, 403 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 1: it's like sometimes like I recently spoke to someone who 404 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:56,320 Speaker 1: tried something a few times and it failed, and they're like, 405 00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:01,000 Speaker 1: they're thinking, was this is happening for a reason, It's 406 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 1: just not meant to be. My thinking is, well, maybe 407 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 1: you just fucking haven't figured out the right way. Maybe 408 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,680 Speaker 1: you've had three failures, and we could call those three lessons, 409 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,440 Speaker 1: well four or five or whatever it was, doesn't matter. 410 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:15,960 Speaker 1: But you've got to realize that there's the thing that's 411 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:20,040 Speaker 1: going on, there's the thing that happens, situation, circumstance, environment, outcome, 412 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,360 Speaker 1: external physical, three dimensional world. There's all these things going 413 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:29,040 Speaker 1: around us and on around us, and then and then 414 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 1: there's us, then there's us the storyteller. Everything happens for 415 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:37,240 Speaker 1: a reason. That's a story. Oh, this is a lesson, 416 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,160 Speaker 1: that's a story. This is a problem. That's a story. 417 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 1: This is good, that's a story. This is bad that 418 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:46,920 Speaker 1: that's a story. And this is ever present, this interaction 419 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 1: between event and response, external world, internal world, the thing 420 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,320 Speaker 1: that happens, your story about the thing that happens, the 421 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,600 Speaker 1: thing that happens, your story about the thing that happens, 422 00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,480 Speaker 1: and the emotional response to your story, right, and then 423 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:04,080 Speaker 1: the impact of the emotional response on you on an 424 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:10,840 Speaker 1: operational level. So this whole kind of letting go of 425 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 1: I can't control. It's got nothing to do with me. 426 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,720 Speaker 1: I'm just a fucking passenger in this life. No, No, 427 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,680 Speaker 1: you're not a passenger unless you choose to be. You're 428 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,920 Speaker 1: not a character in the story. You're the fucking story writer. 429 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 1: You're the author. You're the captain of the bus that 430 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 1: you're on. You're the driver, you're the fucking navigator. You're 431 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:38,200 Speaker 1: not some unwilling, unknowing, out of control kind of victim 432 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:46,360 Speaker 1: or passenger unless you allow that to happen. Next one, 433 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:50,960 Speaker 1: just be yourself and everything will work out. Again, Nah, 434 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:58,800 Speaker 1: Sometimes yourself needs growth, Sometimes yourself needs change and improvement 435 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:02,960 Speaker 1: and learning and better toy making. If I'd have stayed myself, 436 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,920 Speaker 1: in other words, how I was at a point in 437 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 1: my life, Oh that's Craig, just being Craig. If I 438 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:13,640 Speaker 1: hadn't of recognized my limitations and my bullshit and my 439 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:18,840 Speaker 1: ego and all of the psychological, emotional, behavioral and physiological 440 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:25,600 Speaker 1: variables that were within my control, that I was letting 441 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,200 Speaker 1: ruin my life or part of my life. And if 442 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,600 Speaker 1: I hadn't recognized that, and I had have relied on 443 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,920 Speaker 1: the just be you, Craig, and everything will be what 444 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,160 Speaker 1: it will be, everything will work out, then I never 445 00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,960 Speaker 1: would have done most of the things that I've done 446 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,680 Speaker 1: that are kind of cool. And I would have learned 447 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,480 Speaker 1: the things that I would have built the business, and 448 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have had the podcast, and I would have 449 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: written the books, and I wouldn't have traveled all over 450 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,800 Speaker 1: the world, and I wouldn't have spoken to thousands of audiences. 451 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,200 Speaker 1: And I'm not saying I'm great. I'm not great. But 452 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 1: what I've done is I've recognized that things don't just 453 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:01,560 Speaker 1: work out if I'm just you know, just being me. 454 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,480 Speaker 1: It's cool, it's cool that I'm me, but I've got 455 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 1: to constantly work on me. I can't just resign myself 456 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,960 Speaker 1: to no. Well, you know, Mum used to say to me, 457 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,200 Speaker 1: I hope nobody nobody tell Mum or Dad this. But 458 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:18,320 Speaker 1: you know, Ron's not the master communicator. God bless his 459 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:23,880 Speaker 1: little socks. But Ron could have it, could have become 460 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,440 Speaker 1: a better communicator. You know, when you're talking about you know, 461 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,600 Speaker 1: you know how old guys tend. I'm being very discriminatory there, 462 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 1: but you know how I like Australian men. Older Australian 463 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:39,440 Speaker 1: men are not necessarily renowned for their brilliant communication or 464 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:43,000 Speaker 1: empathy or emotional awareness. Now I'm generalizing. Don't hate me. 465 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,800 Speaker 1: There are a lot of exceptions. But Mum used to say, oh, 466 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:51,600 Speaker 1: that's just your father. It's just your father. I'm like, yeah, 467 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 1: but he's not a dumb guy. Yeah, he could actually 468 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,240 Speaker 1: have conversations. He could actually learn or grow or evolve. 469 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,320 Speaker 1: And while that's not up to me, that's up to him. 470 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,280 Speaker 1: And I still love him and he's a great dad. 471 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:06,440 Speaker 1: But just to say oh, that's how they are again, 472 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:12,640 Speaker 1: that's almost to me. That's not that's not necessarily true, 473 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:17,960 Speaker 1: because everyone has the potential for becoming a different, improved, 474 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:24,800 Speaker 1: more efficient, more effective version of themselves, which is the 475 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 1: reason that you're listening to this. Here's another Follow your 476 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,640 Speaker 1: passion and you'll never work a day in your life. Yeah, 477 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:40,760 Speaker 1: not true. Perhaps if your job and your passion and 478 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:46,200 Speaker 1: your purpose whatever that is, intersect, then work won't feel 479 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:50,280 Speaker 1: as much like work in inverted commons. But you know, 480 00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,040 Speaker 1: even with my job, and I love my job, and 481 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,680 Speaker 1: I've said very often that I feel like I've got 482 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,800 Speaker 1: a cheat code, that it's a bit of a scam, 483 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,120 Speaker 1: and that you know, like right now, I'm recording a podcast. 484 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:06,320 Speaker 1: I'm talking to you about things that I'm passionate about, 485 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,640 Speaker 1: and it's real and it's all authentic. But at the 486 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,600 Speaker 1: same time, I need to do this today. I need 487 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:13,400 Speaker 1: to get it done. We need to get it edited. 488 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: I need to write some copy or I need to 489 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,880 Speaker 1: write some show notes, I need to come up with 490 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,040 Speaker 1: a title, and then there's a bunch of other things 491 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,879 Speaker 1: that I've got to do today. I don't hate any 492 00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,080 Speaker 1: of those things, but there's still the obligation and the 493 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:27,719 Speaker 1: commitment of work. So the idea that you'll never kind 494 00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:31,839 Speaker 1: of experience work again in inverted commas, just because you're 495 00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:36,200 Speaker 1: following your passion. There's some truth in that, but they're 496 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 1: never going to experience. Yeah, it's not true. Even dreams come, 497 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,920 Speaker 1: even dream jobs come with hard work and stress and 498 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:49,080 Speaker 1: the odd boring component. So it's still a couple more So, 499 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,960 Speaker 1: I read one that somebody put up which was a 500 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:57,160 Speaker 1: sign in a workplace. I think it was a staff 501 00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,960 Speaker 1: room or I'm not sure, but it was a workplace 502 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:08,239 Speaker 1: sign and it said good vibes only. Well, you know, 503 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:13,239 Speaker 1: that's kind of toxic positivity. It's a nice intention, it's 504 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,640 Speaker 1: a nice intention, but the truth is that people have 505 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,600 Speaker 1: bad days. Now we don't want we don't want a 506 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,880 Speaker 1: sign that says shit vibes only, of course, and I 507 00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:25,719 Speaker 1: like the idea, but I think we also need to 508 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:29,719 Speaker 1: be practical. Is that negative emotions are not only are 509 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:36,040 Speaker 1: they normal, but sometimes they're useful sometimes or often they're unavoidable, 510 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:41,520 Speaker 1: and maybe we need let's do our best. But if 511 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,879 Speaker 1: you're having a shit day, that's okay, maybe we need 512 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 1: maybe we need that sign. You know, it's probably not 513 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,719 Speaker 1: going to take off, I admit, but I think it's 514 00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:57,719 Speaker 1: a little bit more practical. So good vibes only in 515 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:02,480 Speaker 1: the workplace may be a good intension, maybe toxic positivity, 516 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:09,440 Speaker 1: but probably not ultimately helpful. Alright, let's do one more. 517 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:17,200 Speaker 1: Let's do let's do the old never give up. There 518 00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:21,680 Speaker 1: seems some kind of shame in stopping something or giving 519 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:26,600 Speaker 1: up on something. But sometimes depending on what the something is, 520 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:32,400 Speaker 1: giving up on an idea or a process, or I 521 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,719 Speaker 1: think the word or the term giving up or give 522 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:38,560 Speaker 1: up is I think that's the problem. If we replaced 523 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:42,960 Speaker 1: never give up with never stop or then you go, well, 524 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,920 Speaker 1: that's dumb advice, because sometimes we should stop, or sometimes 525 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,680 Speaker 1: we should quit, or sometimes we should not follow that 526 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:53,760 Speaker 1: path anymore or that protocol anymore because it's not working, 527 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:57,000 Speaker 1: you know, like sticking with a bad job or a 528 00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 1: failing business, or a toxic relationship, or a diet that 529 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:04,560 Speaker 1: doesn't work, or a training program that's constantly injuring you 530 00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:08,880 Speaker 1: or that's not admirable or clever. That's silly. That's silly. 531 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,400 Speaker 1: There's a difference between giving up just because you know 532 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,840 Speaker 1: you can't be bothered or it's all too hard or whatever, 533 00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:19,280 Speaker 1: but and giving up or stopping something because it's actually 534 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,239 Speaker 1: a smart thing to do. It's the best decision to make. 535 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,919 Speaker 1: It's the best course of action. And we can be 536 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:29,560 Speaker 1: you know, we can persevere through. You know, we can 537 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:32,440 Speaker 1: be relentless and proactive in the middle of the mayhem 538 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:35,080 Speaker 1: and the madness and the tough stuff, and we can 539 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,640 Speaker 1: keep hustling and grinding and working and we'll produce good outcomes. 540 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:42,520 Speaker 1: And that's I understand that never give up in that sense. 541 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:46,760 Speaker 1: I understand that, But also I understand the well, sometimes 542 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:48,960 Speaker 1: this is the right time to give up or to 543 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:54,160 Speaker 1: not do this thing. But I guess the ah, what's 544 00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,120 Speaker 1: the word? What am I looking for? I probably should 545 00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,759 Speaker 1: have thought this through, but I guess it's that that 546 00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:05,000 Speaker 1: the emotion that can arise from the idea of giving up, 547 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,440 Speaker 1: because I think we associate the idea of giving up 548 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:12,719 Speaker 1: with weakness or an aptitude or lack of courage. And 549 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:16,680 Speaker 1: I understand that. But I also think that there are 550 00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,520 Speaker 1: times when the absolute best thing for you to do, 551 00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:23,400 Speaker 1: In fact, sometimes the most courageous thing for you to 552 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:27,160 Speaker 1: do is to stop doing something. Is to get out 553 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:33,440 Speaker 1: of something that's ineffective, unproductive, failing, falling down, toxic, to 554 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,160 Speaker 1: get the fuck out of there. It's not giving up, 555 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:43,000 Speaker 1: it's actually stepping up. I guess that'll do. I guess 556 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,560 Speaker 1: that I could probably bang on. I could bang on. 557 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,359 Speaker 1: I've got lots more, but I you know, I think 558 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,680 Speaker 1: you get the gist. I think you get the gist. 559 00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,400 Speaker 1: I love some of what comes out of the self help, 560 00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:00,560 Speaker 1: you know, kind of personal development space. Love some of 561 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,960 Speaker 1: it because of the some of the memes and some 562 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:10,600 Speaker 1: of the messages are just really accurate, insightful, succinct snapshots 563 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:15,520 Speaker 1: of a much bigger truth or wisdom. And I think 564 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,839 Speaker 1: those messages and you need to try to figure out 565 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:21,520 Speaker 1: what those are. That is what I try to share. 566 00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:25,480 Speaker 1: I'm sure I don't always nail it. So there's that. 567 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,359 Speaker 1: But then at the other end of the spectrum, there's 568 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:38,799 Speaker 1: the stuff that's just unhelpful, toxic, psychobabbly magical thinking bullshit 569 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:43,040 Speaker 1: that we need to be aware of and avoid. ALRIGHTY, 570 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:47,000 Speaker 1: have a good day, Have a great magical day.