WEBVTT - Surviving the predator’s paradise: Glen Fisher Pt.2 0:00:01.880 --> 0:00:04.880 The public has had a long held fascination with detectives. 0:00:05.360 --> 0:00:08.039 Detective see aside of life. The average person is never 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:11.119 exposed her I spent thirty four years as a cop. 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:14.040 For twenty five of those years I was catching killers. 0:00:14.440 --> 0:00:16.200 That's what I did for a living. I was a 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:20.560 homicide detective. I'm no longer just interviewing bad guys. Instead, 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:23.120 I'm taking the public into the world in which I operated. 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:26.400 The guests I talk to each week have amazing stories 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:28.760 from all sides of the law. The interviews are raw 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:31.440 and honest, just like the people I talk to. Some 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:34.640 of the content and language might be confronting. That's because 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:37.640 no one who comes into contact with crime is left unchanged. 0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:40.400 Join me now as I take you into this world. 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:49.240 Welcome back to part two of my chat with Glenn Fisher. 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:51.880 If you listen to part one, you would have heard 0:00:51.880 --> 0:00:55.840 Glenn talk about the horrific childhood he had experienced. If 0:00:55.840 --> 0:00:58.200 you thought Glenn's life must have got better from there, 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:00.800 you're in for a shock, because in part two he 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:04.039 talks about it and it certainly didn't got a lot worse. 0:01:04.319 --> 0:01:08.440 Addicted to heroin for thirty five years prison sentences, the 0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:11.360 betrayal by the only two people he trusted enough to love, 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:14.399 and his attempts to take his own life, plus a 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:17.480 whole lot more. But Glenn also talks about how he 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:21.080 turned his life around, how he got justice against his abuses, 0:01:21.640 --> 0:01:24.360 how he gave evidence at four court matters to get 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:28.640 his abuses convicted, giving evidence at two royal commissions, and 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:31.880 how he is now giving back to society. Glenn's story 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:35.240 is as dark as it is inspirational. Have a listen, 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:37.600 and I think it might just put in perspective how 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:43.040 lucky the majority of us are. Glenn Fisher, Welcome back, 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:47.720 Part two. I'm going to apologize, and I probably don't 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:49.800 have to. You've told me it's all right to talk 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:53.360 about things, but I'm taking in some dark places. So yeah, 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:57.760 I apologize up front, but I think and I agree, 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:01.400 I believe you agree with it. It's important to talk 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:03.400 about the things that you've experienced because there's a lot 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:06.640 of people out there that wouldn't have the courage is 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:09.840 probably not the right word, but for whatever reason, don't 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:12.200 feel comfortable in coming forward and talking about the type 0:02:12.240 --> 0:02:14.160 of things that you talk about. 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:17.359 There's a lot of stigma and shame around abuse, you know. 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:19.840 And I know for myself as just think, how did 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:21.840 I let somebody do that to me? You know, And 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:24.400 that's probably what sits with a lot of people, you know. 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:27.000 But I think if I write in my book, this 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:28.919 isn't a mean story, this is a wee story. Yeah, 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:30.760 this is a story about a lot of children who 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:32.799 went through this and were abused. I've just one that 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:33.640 to live to tell. 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:38.040 You know. That's the insidious part about child sexual abuse, 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:41.720 isn't it That leaves the victim so traumatized and they're 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:44.799 even blaming themselves. But that's part of the manipulation they 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:47.320 do that for the people that are up braying on 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:50.480 these kids know that they can get away with things 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:52.520 because that's what they leave the kids with. 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:55.440 They come across like they're doing you a favor, you know, like, oh, 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:57.400 you need money to get on. I can help you out, 0:02:57.520 --> 0:02:59.720 you know, just for this cost, you know, and you'd 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:02.200 like a hanging out and with drawn, can you give 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:02.920 me the money first year? 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:03.160 Yeah? 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:04.880 Okay, And you know you can get doing your favor, 0:03:04.960 --> 0:03:06.919 you know, And they're not you know, and you've been 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:08.640 programmed that way prior, you know. 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:11.680 I love the fact that you're talking about this and 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:15.959 it's almost like an avenging angel coming in. And these 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:19.240 people that have been involved in this, they must have 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:22.320 people like you talking. They'd be thinking shit. But when 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:23.720 am I going to get that knock on the door 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:26.639 and when I'm going to be called into account? I hope? So. Yeah, 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:31.280 So I have a lot of sleepless nights, absolutely, because 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:34.640 the lives that they destroyed. Just before we take you 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:37.440 back in the dark stuff, just to give you a sense, 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:40.120 give our listeners a sense of how far are you coming? 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:42.400 I think it's in the day. I'll say you're heading 0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:45.160 down to Canberra. By the time people listen to this podcast, 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:48.520 you will have spoken on the steps of Parliament House 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:50.360 downing Canberra. What's that about? 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:54.280 So it's called Zero Suicide. A friend of mine, Paul, 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:55.920 runs it every year and it gets us to come 0:03:55.960 --> 0:03:58.200 down and speak. We lay out twenty five hundred and 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:00.520 twenty five shoes this year to represent and every life 0:04:00.560 --> 0:04:03.240 lost to suicide. And I've been asked all over the 0:04:03.240 --> 0:04:05.720 country to speak at different events and I'm making meeting 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:07.720 up with Malcolm Roberts on the day before. He wants 0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:09.320 me to go on a podcast with him as well. 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:12.640 Share my story and and then I'll be speaking out 0:04:12.640 --> 0:04:14.720 the front of Parliament with a lot of other creators, 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:19.000 a lot of influencers to try and you know, show 0:04:19.040 --> 0:04:21.560 people just we need to stop this in its tracks. 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:23.400 You know, we need a men's minister. That's what we're 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:25.640 pushing for, is to get a men's minister to deal 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:28.640 with men's mental health and our situational distress. 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:31.800 Yeah, talk on that a little bit more. Why you 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:33.520 think specifically for men. 0:04:33.960 --> 0:04:36.479 Well, because eight out of every nine that have died 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:39.279 is a male. You know, that's the problem. The leading 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:41.080 cause of death in our country between the age of 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:45.640 fifteen and thirty five is suicide. You know, that's catastrophe. 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:46.039 You know. 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:48.480 The only thing that's measuring near it now is dementia. 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.279 You know, and that's only just a recent state that 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:53.599 I read the other day. But you know, we're losing, 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:56.120 like I said, somebody every three hours. Why this podcast 0:04:56.160 --> 0:05:00.719 has happened, We've lost someone. It's terrifying. And as a father, 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:03.680 as a grandfather, that terrifies me. You know, I'd hate 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:05.120 my kids to think that that's an. 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:08.479 Option and it's not a simple fix. But to talk 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:11.440 about things like that, I think helps it. There are 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:14.960 people who have been in that lower step that I 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.080 want to talk or can talk about it. There are 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:18.960 places where people can talk about. 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:21.160 And specifically with men. I mean women are quite good 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:23.800 at talking with each other about things that are going on. 0:05:24.000 --> 0:05:26.960 Us men we've been like to swallow it and say nothing, 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:28.599 you know, and that's how we roll. 0:05:29.200 --> 0:05:32.040 I'm laughing because I know what you're saying. And I 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:35.840 just know you hang out with a mate and their 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:39.960 wife knows more about people's lives and your mate. What 0:05:40.000 --> 0:05:41.600 did you talk about? We just said good day, We 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:44.680 talked about the football, We did this, we did how 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:47.240 you go on good? Yeah, like I dare say, you know, 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:49.240 we'd pass each other in the street. There are you 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:52.280 going good? Mate? How are you good? And that's that's 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:54.880 the depth of it. So good on you for working 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:59.280 in that space, in that space to the one thing. 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:02.840 And I know how sensitive you are to it because 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:06.400 you've told me on a number of occasions. And we 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:10.000 talked about the girl that you found in the cross 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:11.400 and you fell in love with her, and that was 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:15.320 basically your first girlfriend and world looked a little bit 0:06:15.360 --> 0:06:17.320 brighter in the dark world that you were living in 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:20.480 because of her. Do you want to tell us about her? 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:23.640 Is it aka if I use the name Linda Kirby, Yeah, 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:27.000 something with the start of it. That's just beautiful to 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:31.040 start off with. So her family were going through her 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:34.080 stuff just recently, about a year ago, and when they 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:35.919 were going through their stuff, they found a photo and 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:38.680 on the back it said Linda loves Glen Fisher. And 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:41.000 they're like, who is this Glen Fisher? So they google 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:43.880 Gleen Fisher and you know, everything comes up and it's 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:45.960 my book. They buy my book. They opened up the 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:48.039 book and on the very first page it says, dedicated 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:50.960 to Linda Marie Kirby. I've now been in touch with them. 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:53.840 I have this relationship with them and other kids who 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:56.200 have died in across his family too. Well. I get 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:58.800 a chill down my spine when you just teld that 0:06:58.200 --> 0:06:59.760 that's beautiful, wasn't it? 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:01.880 It is feutiful? And I sat with them and one 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:03.840 of them just passed just in the last two weeks. 0:07:03.880 --> 0:07:06.080 But the other I met the mum and the niece 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:09.240 and the brother and you know, and they all of 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:10.600 the ones that reach out to me. I was so 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.440 worried about sharing the story of other kids and they said, no, 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:17.520 and you've humanized my daughter. You've brought it to life. 0:07:17.920 --> 0:07:21.280 Wow. Yeah, tell us about Linda and tell us about 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:22.480 your relationship. Yeah. 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:24.800 So we first met, as I said, we were side 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:26.880 both side, like we were just two big kids, you know, 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:28.680 we were little kids and were running around with She 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:30.000 was kind of like the leader of the girls. I 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:31.240 was kind of like the leader of the boys. And 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:32.480 I wasn't the leader because I was tough. I was 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.120 a leader because I didn't shut up. That's why I 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:37.720 was the leader. That's kind of how we rolled. 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:37.680 You know. 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:40.600 But she started some older boys came in from town 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:43.400 hall in different areas and she started using heroin and 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:45.160 so I ended up checking up with this other girl. 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:46.800 I'm a breakdan. So I used to break dance on 0:07:46.800 --> 0:07:47.920 the street. I was quite good. 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:50.320 Actually, I've never had a breakdancer on the high catch 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:52.520 killer right cameras roll. 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:54.800 The other day on TikTok and someone said that's a 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:56.720 for sure, that's a I was. 0:07:56.640 --> 0:07:59.960 Like a compliment. Yeah, yeah, that's a great compliment. 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:02.200 But what ends up happening is I go to South 0:08:02.200 --> 0:08:05.360 Australia to go into a dance competition. They reckon this 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:07.960 this group's the best dancers in Adelaide, and I know 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:10.000 they're not right in my I'm a good dance and 0:08:10.040 --> 0:08:11.840 I know it, so I'm going up there to prove it. 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:14.680 So I head off up to South Australia and We're 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:17.080 going this dance competition. I create a little group called 0:08:17.120 --> 0:08:19.080 the Megazoids. I had by us, sorry Insydney, we had 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:21.240 a group called the Megazoids. Mega means many, zoids mean 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:23.400 street people. But up there we made one called the 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:27.280 Electrical Connection, right, and we we practice all these routines 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:28.160 to go in this competition. 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:28.560 We win. 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.280 We actually win the competition. As I'm coming out of 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:33.520 the competition, I'm walking down the stairs. One of the 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:36.439 kids from the refuge, Jean Chapman, who just also recently died, 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:38.920 is at the bottom of the steps and I'm walking down. 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:40.560 I sorrdly, you see this bra did you see us? 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:45.600 And he's looking really somber and he goes, Linda's dead, sorry, 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:48.000 And I was like what And I grabbed him, thro 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:50.080 him against the wall and like John could have picked 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:52.720 me up and tossed me, but he just he just cleaned. 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:57.000 I'm serious, Linda's dead and fucking ripped my heart out, mew. 0:08:57.040 --> 0:08:58.600 I just sat down on the spot and I was like, 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:01.839 fucking kidding me. What had happened is for the heroine 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:05.000 two bolts had asked a young girl to find a girl, 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:08.000 a kid, you know, fifteen year old just turned sixteen 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:10.920 year old girl. She went with them, They gave the heroin, 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:15.520 she dropped. They didn't know what to do. They were caught, convicted, 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:18.960 got twenty years jail. Then they went before Judge Elden 0:09:19.320 --> 0:09:23.200 and on appeal got it dismissed. Altogether, it's because of her. 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:25.760 I've written my book. It's because of her. I do 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:28.960 everything I do today. But that's why I went up 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:31.280 to that abuse when I was just Linda just died 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:34.160 and I walk up and I was like, you you 0:09:34.559 --> 0:09:36.599 I'm going I'm going to hold you responsible. 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:38.040 That's when you told me. 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:39.560 That's when I told him. There it was like I 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:41.680 just got I had to hit Shike back from South Australia. 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:44.040 What happened was I was doing dancing and I had 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:46.080 nun chuckers on me. I had them down my legs, 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:47.320 you know, he was carrying them down there and I 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:49.400 got pulled over by the police in gold and they 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:51.720 arrested me back then. Nunchuckers is the same as carrying 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:55.520 a firearm. It's a section thirteen A nine a preces nine. Yeah, 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:58.400 so I got I kept in the cells for two 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:00.480 weeks while her funeral was on side. I missed her 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:02.839 funeral and but I end up hit choking back to 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:06.120 the cross and sadly, Gary, that's where I actually become 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:08.520 a heroin addict. You know, I was like at that point, 0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:12.880 I U speed coke. I not I sorry trips pot drink, 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:14.960 but I'd never put a needle been in the hand 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:18.000 that was taking the next step I did. I wanted 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:20.520 to know what it was. And the sad thing was 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:22.440 that because of all my trauma, it was like my 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:24.320 head never stopped. It was like I had all these 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:27.240 flashbacks in my head and visions. And the sad reality 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.040 for me was when I picked up her on it 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:32.280 was like my body realigned. It was just like that's 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:36.080 the answer, which was a lie because people don't understand 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:37.920 that that you chase that for the rest of your 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:40.640 life trying to get that realignment. You spend more time 0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:42.920 in withdrawals and hanging out and chasing the dragon and 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:45.320 money than you ever do actually start trying to. 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:49.040 Get you back to feeling okay, and that's what you're chasing. 0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:53.520 And then withdrawals, it was manifested. Those feelings were exasperated. 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:55.480 It was even worse. So I get all these flashbacks 0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:59.040 and trauma and it was horrible. But I never coped 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:01.040 with her, and she was the first. I mean, I 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:03.640 watched the many kids die, you know, another girl, bam bam. 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:06.040 There's so many of them, Sharon Tracy. There's a lot. 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:08.480 It's just such a waste of life, isn't it. 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:12.559 Especially her. She was so vivacious, bubbly, she was talented, 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:14.720 she was smart, she was a leader, she was just 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.800 everything beautiful, you know. And yeah, her life. 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:23.040 Two that were convicted did was it just the sentencing reduced. 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:26.720 Or was completely dismissed. Yeah, but I only found these 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:27.920 out as an adult. 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.440 And we don't know what's gone on with the court matter. 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:34.120 But when you're talking about justice yelled them. 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:34.920 Yeah he's a pedophile. 0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:39.200 Yeah, well that's that's been widely reported. 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:40.199 Yeah it's a non fact. 0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:40.480 Yeah. 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:43.200 Yeah, ended up taking his life at the wood draw 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:44.640 Commission suicided. 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:48.600 Yeah, my understanding after the investigators spoke to him a 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:51.960 couple of times, and then he ended up committee suicide. Yeah, 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:55.280 following that, And that's that's scary, isn't that the person 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:56.600 in the position of that power. 0:11:56.880 --> 0:11:58.920 Yeah, absolutely, I mean and not only that, I mean 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:01.200 he's a compromise judge. The police also knew that he 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:03.840 was compromised the ones that work corupt in the Cross, 0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:05.880 so they were able to take advantage of that as well. 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:10.440 Well. I read somewhere that they were charges against him 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:14.240 or he was arrested and charges weren't laid whatever, So 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:17.640 there was an assumption that he was given a pass 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:19.280 or led off. 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:21.360 Yeah, it's well known on the street that he was 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:23.719 given a pass. And he's not alone there. There was 0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:25.400 a lot of them. Like I said, they used to 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:28.360 hold it over them, you know, photos or you know, 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:30.559 whatever it was that they had on them, and it 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:33.840 allowed you know, like there was high profile men coming 0:12:33.840 --> 0:12:36.320 to King's Cross and buying children. It was like it 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:38.120 was like going to a coffee shop and buying a 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:39.800 cup of coffee. You know, they just come down and 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:41.000 be able to purchase a kid. 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:44.959 What the discussing, Well, do you concern them? We can't 0:12:45.920 --> 0:12:49.160 mention names because you and I end up in court, 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:50.400 and I don't want to go back to court. And 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:51.600 I don't think you want to go to court. 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:52.360 I'm done with the court. 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:56.120 But do you feel at risk because you are speaking up? 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:58.760 I did for years. I had a lot of fear 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:00.880 around it. I have more fear around to people I 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:03.400 loved and me, you know, putting them in any kind 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:06.040 of danger. But I got in my head, I thought 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:10.480 I cannot not speak. They're all dead, Gary one, Bay one. 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:13.560 I've watched them die and the last one just recently, Marlene, 0:13:13.600 --> 0:13:17.080 she had They're all dying a liver disease or suicide 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:20.960 or alcoholism or addiction overdoses. And I just thought, you know, 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:22.280 each one of these to reach out to me, and 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:24.160 so I just love you, and you're so brave taken 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:25.920 these guys to court. You know, we're proud of you, 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:29.280 behind you, And I just thought I have to talk. 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:32.760 You know, I need people to know, people like Linda, Marlene, 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:36.200 you know Bam Bam existed, you know my brother, you 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:39.400 know all these different people. You know, it's like I 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:40.080 have to speak. 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:44.240 Yeah, you got to some law points in your in 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.720 your life, and they're addicted to heroin for a long time, 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:49.480 and I think you're still on the edge. Quite a 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:52.760 few times. We've just your heroin use. But you made 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:56.160 some over the attempts to take your own life. What 0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:58.000 what was a lead up to that? 0:13:58.200 --> 0:14:01.640 So the first one was for seven years, I was 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:03.600 using on the streets, dropping all the time. I made 0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:06.080 like thirteen overdoses in a period of two years because 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:07.880 I started taking pills. But I ended up meeting a 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.640 woman and you know, we got engaged. I'm gonna have 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:12.679 a baby, Shindy. She was pregnant. We just had a 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:15.440 little baby, and you know, and I loved this woman, 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:17.839 I really did. And then I got kicked off the 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:21.400 methadone program for violence, for fighting and it's the second 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:24.800 time I've been kicked off for violent, violent stuff. And 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:28.000 then when I stayed on the street for two weeks, 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:29.920 and when I came back, my brother was at my 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:32.520 house with my partner and I was like, oh, hello, 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:34.200 and I pick up the baby, and you know, it's 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:36.560 all normal, normal. I end up finding it these two 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:38.840 events sleeping together. You know, she ends up telling he 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:41.920 ends up telling me. And at the moment, I've just 0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:43.720 been kicked off one hundred and twenty meals of meth today, 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:47.440 I've got a heroin habit, I'm homeless, I've just lost 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:49.000 my partner. The only three people I love in the 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:51.720 world is my brother, my fiance, and my little girl. 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:54.760 And I'm sitting outside of a church and I don't 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:56.320 know how I got myself to this point, but I'm 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:58.600 sitting there listening to the music, and something about Christian 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:00.440 music has always suve me gary out the way it 0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:02.920 just does. And I'm sitting there and the music stops, 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:05.160 and all of a sudden, in my head just talking 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:06.960 to me, and I'm going, I'm rocking back and forth 0:15:07.000 --> 0:15:08.480 flight this and I'm saying, this is my fucking point. 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:10.720 What's the fucking point? What is the point of this 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:12.840 fucking world? Everybody's a piece of shit, you know. And 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:14.520 I just kept saying it over and over and over. 0:15:15.160 --> 0:15:17.640 And I walk into the church and my intention was 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:19.480 to get a cup of tea that they've got, maybe 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:21.680 this biscuits or something I can drink or eat. And 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:23.480 I walk inside and there's no one there, and there's 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:26.080 this big cross there with like a sheet with all 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:28.680 like someone's been spraying on something like paint or something 0:15:28.680 --> 0:15:31.840 on it. And I look at it and I actually 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:33.560 get the sheet and I put it around my neck 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:36.320 and I start praying, you know, like I don't know 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.440 there's a God or not, but if you're there, hear 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:41.080 my story, man, and I start praying to God, and 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:42.960 then I just step off. And as I go to 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:45.480 step off, some my man just comes straight through and 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:48.520 grabs me and lifts me up and stop the actual 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:52.920 drop bit of me dropping. And he sat down with me, 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:56.120 and he was a priest and he started talking to 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:58.000 me about God. And I'll screaming at him, brother, and 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:00.640 I'm like, don't tell me about fucking God. Bro, you know, 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:02.840 just God. You know I'm angry. You know I'm angry. 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:07.760 And he gives me a poem. It's called Footprints. And 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:10.080 I read that poem and I just fucking broke down 0:16:10.080 --> 0:16:12.280 in tears. Mate. It just made me cry. And I thought, 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:15.440 because I believe there's something out there, a God, but 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:17.320 I don't believe in religion or church as you know, 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:20.080 because it just seems to be the catalyst for everything 0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:23.520 evil from from what I grew up with you. And 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:26.640 but that was the first time. But what ends up 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:29.120 happening is it turns into an arm robbery. I go 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:32.720 into stayed the next day, I go to see him 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:34.960 and he said, I stayed there night. Sorry. And the 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:37.200 next morning he says to me, I said, I got 0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:39.920 to go, Bro. I said, I'm a heroin addict and 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:42.240 I'm fucking in bad withdrawals. I've got to go, you know. 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:42.920 I tell him that. 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:47.160 So this is the dude that save you? 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:50.160 Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And what happened is he says 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:53.520 to me, what about I'll give you fifty bucks for 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:56.560 that help. I said absolutely, you know, and like as 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:59.000 an addict, it's like I'm better, I'm not because I know. 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:01.480 I said, it's subconscient, right, And then I suddenly he 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:03.560 says to me, no, I can't do it. My religion 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:05.200 faith won't allow me to give you that money or 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:08.600 whatever it is, you know. And so just to clarify 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:11.040 it back, there was two men there, and it was 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:13.200 actually another man who stopped me for falling. 0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:13.720 It was right. 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:18.439 It came in and there, yes, built the relationship with 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:20.960 Then what happens is I pick up a button knife 0:17:20.960 --> 0:17:22.640 and I put it to my neck and I hold 0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:24.040 it to my neck and I said, you don't fucking 0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:26.080 get it, bro, I don't want to be here, and 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:28.119 then I threw it on the ground, right, that's it. 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:30.520 I just threw it on the ground and he said, look, Lynn, 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:32.360 let me drive you to the cross. And he drove 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:33.879 me to the cross and I had a bag of 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.199 clothing with me. He gave me the fifty dollars and 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:38.040