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Speaker 1: Appohe Production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to another episode of Brave Always the CEO series.

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Speaker 2: This series, we launch into the new world of brave leadership.

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Speaker 1: Happy people create happy businesses.

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Speaker 2: True emotionally intelligent leadership.

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Speaker 1: I picked up vomit once on our about our fourth flight, and.

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Speaker 2: Everybody thought, well, if it's good enough for him, I

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Speaker 2: can do it. Now.

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Speaker 1: We will be joined by culture and leadership.

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Speaker 2: Experts and some superstar CEOs who will courageously tell us

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Speaker 2: the truth behind their brave leadership journeys. So today I'm

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Speaker 2: joined by Ashe Bynes, fitness entrepreneur, speaker, content creator and

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Speaker 2: podcaster and founder of the globally recognized Hideaway brand. With

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Speaker 2: over a decade in the spotlight, she's built a multimillion

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Speaker 2: dollar empire, Live, one of Australia's most successful fitness challenges,

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Speaker 2: and created a movement around self worth, wellness and resilience,

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Speaker 2: all while navigating the highs and lows of building in public.

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Speaker 1: So welcome Ashley, Thank you for having me on an ISS.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to come here more often. It doesn't it

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Speaker 1: st kind of stuff about you and me. It was funny.

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Speaker 2: Actually, and I'm going to be really honest here. I

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Speaker 2: don't have TikTok yep, I don't really use Instagram much.

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Speaker 2: I didn't really know who you were there, you go, that's.

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Speaker 1: Okay in a really good way.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like as a I was so excited to come

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Speaker 2: and talk to you because I knew you did a podcast.

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Speaker 2: Now you heard that you were into fitness and aah

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Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. But I thought that was really

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Speaker 2: cool because I love to get to know people without

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Speaker 2: first like Maise that you know, you can go into

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Speaker 2: things with preconceived notions and all that kind of stuff, so.

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Speaker 1: You actually like that. I feel like when people have

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Speaker 1: watched my whole journey, they've also watched all of my mistakes, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're the girl that did dart, Like, oh, yep, that's

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Speaker 1: what you remember me for. Okay.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like, I'm really excited to have this

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Speaker 2: conversation that asked melf. I also noticed that your own

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Speaker 2: podcast that you do, she Rises Love that you mentioned

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Speaker 2: in like the Buyer of It it's.

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Speaker 3: About being bold.

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Speaker 2: And this morning when I was, you know, getting ready

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Speaker 2: to listen to a couple of things, and I was

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Speaker 2: smiling because there was so much of what you said is.

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Speaker 1: Really aligned to what I teach before.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So the brave leadership framework, which is being bold, resilient, authentic, underal, empathetic.

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Speaker 1: I love that. For me, it's getting back.

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Speaker 2: To it and it crosses industry, right, but it's getting

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Speaker 2: back to the point that people want you to be

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Speaker 2: all these things, but that's the core stuff. That's the

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Speaker 2: stuff that transforms your life. It is, and particularly this

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Speaker 2: bold one like that one for me and I literally

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Speaker 2: watched you do a video with your co hosts talking

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Speaker 2: about it. It's my definition is that's the thing I

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Speaker 2: must do. So it's recognizing when the fear comes.

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Speaker 1: Up and doing it anyway, doing it anyway. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I think we've just grown up in a generation. I

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Speaker 1: don't know about you, but it was always like being bold,

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Speaker 1: being loud is being too much. Like I got rewarded

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Speaker 1: as a little girl. I sit in the corner and

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Speaker 1: be quiet, don't speak up, don't cry. So having that

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Speaker 1: conditioning and then growing up in the public eye, I've

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Speaker 1: found it hard to be all of myself because everyone's like,

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Speaker 1: be more authentic, be more real, be more honest, and

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Speaker 1: you do that and then you get so much criticism.

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Speaker 1: Well it's like, well, what do you want so you

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Speaker 1: just have to go back to who you are and

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Speaker 1: not live your life on anyone else's terms. And that's

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Speaker 1: what our podcast is all about, against my whole self.

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Speaker 1: And however that's received as none of my business, but

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Speaker 1: I know that my intention for being there is to

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Speaker 1: make a difference so much from a pack there.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to start though, as I regularly do, want

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Speaker 2: to interview people because this podcast for me is about

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Speaker 2: people who've had a lot of success in their life.

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Speaker 3: A lot of people will look.

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Speaker 2: At that and go that's unattainable, or more so that

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Speaker 2: that means they don't feel these things that I do. Right,

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Speaker 2: So it's a great way to showcase people that never exists,

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Speaker 2: Like you know, I've been privileged of them and to

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Speaker 2: few some amazing people, but that's just human beings.

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Speaker 1: Everyone is.

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Speaker 2: It's the same why I don't even have any kind

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Speaker 2: of hang up anymore, like about speaking to certain people,

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Speaker 2: because you're still a human at the end, right, So

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Speaker 2: it's empowering. But I always thought about where people come from,

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Speaker 2: right in the early days, because that kind of shapes

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Speaker 2: all of us.

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Speaker 1: A GC girl, right, well kind of I've been here

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Speaker 1: since I was twelve. My whole family are from New Zealand,

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Speaker 1: so I was born in Kiwi. Two well, I was

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Speaker 1: born in Brisbane, but went back over them when I

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Speaker 1: was six weeks old. My whole family's Kiwi. So I

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Speaker 1: grew up and dairy farms all around New Zealand in

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Speaker 1: the North Island, and then Sydney and around Melbourne in

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Speaker 1: the inner suburbs around dairy farms, and moved here when

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Speaker 1: I was twelve. So it's kind of a key girl,

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Speaker 1: I spose, but I feel late that in Brisbane, right, Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's interesting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And so looking back thinking that where life's gone to,

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Speaker 2: what are those early memories when it came to think

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Speaker 2: about what you do now?

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Speaker 1: What was Ashy like when she was twelve. I mean

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Speaker 1: I look back at her and I think she was

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Speaker 1: just really lost, really lonely, not on her place, never

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Speaker 1: really felt safe or accepted. And it sounds sad, but

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Speaker 1: I always believe like our biggest pain points become our purpose.

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Speaker 1: So I felt very lost alone, like no one understood

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Speaker 1: me and no one really saw me for who I was.

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Speaker 1: So my biggest mission with the podcast, with my fitness

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Speaker 1: training apps that I've had, everything I've done, is to

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Speaker 1: help women not feel alone, to help them feel validated

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Speaker 1: and seen. So even though I felt like my childhood

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Speaker 1: wasn't the easiest, it's definitely shaped me to be who

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Speaker 1: I am today and I'm really grateful for that. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was a tougher childhood. My real father left when

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Speaker 1: I was one, right, and then I had in US's

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Speaker 1: stepfather until I kicked me out of home when I

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Speaker 1: was sixteen. But once again, like I don't want any pity,

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Speaker 1: but has been out of home at sixteen, I really

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Speaker 1: had to learn how to fend for myself and the

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Speaker 1: value of a dollar, and I just knew I wanted

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Speaker 1: to create a different life for myself. And looking at

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Speaker 1: my real father, who I don't still don't know, and

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Speaker 1: my stepfather, I was like, I want the complete opposite

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Speaker 1: in my husband and the father of my children, and

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Speaker 1: I did that. My husband of seventeen years, he is

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Speaker 1: so present, so loving, He's such a big teddy bear.

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Speaker 1: He's never raised his voice at any of us. He's

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Speaker 1: just so loving. So I love hearing everyone's backstories because

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Speaker 1: you're right, it does shape us to be who we are,

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Speaker 1: and without all of that, I wouldn't be here talking

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Speaker 1: to you right now.

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Speaker 2: No, and I get it. I was just's just thinking

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Speaker 2: driving in including myself. Most of my friends haven't had

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Speaker 2: a father figure around.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy a lot of us.

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Speaker 3: So there must be some synergies between.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we've also gotten to thank for perhaps some

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Speaker 2: just functional relationships now. But I think you're right that

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Speaker 2: adversity that comes from it. Yeah, your real father still alive,

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Speaker 2: you'd still alive.

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Speaker 1: I know his family. I was in contact with his

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Speaker 1: mum and dad. They passed recently. They thought that we

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Speaker 1: were still in contact, but yeah, I just never wanted

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Speaker 1: anything to do with us. So there's a little part

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Speaker 1: of me that still is like, oh, should I reach

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Speaker 1: then I'm also like, well, it's kind of his loss,

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Speaker 1: you know. I don't want to beg someone to want

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Speaker 1: to be in my life. But there's been a lot

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Speaker 1: of healing around that and a lot of work and

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Speaker 1: different things that have come up over the time. And

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Speaker 1: it's also with fitness. I feel like, going through those

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Speaker 1: teenage years where I didn't want to be at home

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Speaker 1: my stepfather was awful, I turned to fitness. Mum said,

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Speaker 1: I was always dancing, I was always netball, even was

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Speaker 1: like walking. I just loved walking to get away from him,

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Speaker 1: and that led me to be a personal trainer and

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Speaker 1: for the last fifteen years. I've just finished in the

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Speaker 1: health and fitness industry, but it was such a big

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Speaker 1: chapter of my life. It's helped so many women. If

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Speaker 1: we're moving our body, we're moving stuck energy, get the endorphins,

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Speaker 1: so good for our mental health and also obviously body

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Speaker 1: confidence and all that as well. But once again, fitness

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Speaker 1: it helped me through the hardest time of my life.

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Speaker 1: It's always been almost my antidepressants what got me through,

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Speaker 1: and even now to this day, if I'm stressed, I

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Speaker 1: go for a walk. I think as humans, we know

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Speaker 1: it to be true.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, their brains know this will make me feel Goodah,

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Speaker 2: go for walk, I feel good.

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Speaker 1: So then why don't we do it? I know everyone's

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Speaker 1: got their own personal blocks. Hey, I suppose it's so

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Speaker 1: ingrained in me that it's like brushing my teeth. You

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Speaker 1: go for a walk every day, I don't even have

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Speaker 1: to think about it, but you definitely have to have

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Speaker 1: evidence of it feeling really good, and there's got to

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Speaker 1: be a strong enough why behind it. But it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, when people struggle to lose weight. You know

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Speaker 1: what you're eating, whether it's going to be healthy or

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Speaker 1: beneficial for you know not, it doesn't stop you eating it. No,

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Speaker 1: because sometimes I know for me, it's like when I

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Speaker 1: was a good girl, here's a chocolate. Yeah, when you

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Speaker 1: went to like you put on the potty, here's a chocolate.

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Speaker 1: I got rewarded with food. So now when I'm emotional,

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Speaker 1: I want to turn to food. So with my kids,

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Speaker 1: I don't do any of that. I'm like when you're disregulated,

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Speaker 1: when you're upset, when you're having a tangent, we're going outside.

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Speaker 1: So I want you to grow up and think. When

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Speaker 1: I'm stressed or like feeling anxious, I go to the ocean,

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Speaker 1: I go for a walk. I go out and smell

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Speaker 1: the trees. Want nature to be the thing they go to,

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Speaker 1: not food, not alcohol, not social media, not scrolling, not distractions.

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Speaker 1: I don't want them to numb out. I want them

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Speaker 1: to feel it all in a safe environment that can

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Speaker 1: bring them back to their center.

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Speaker 2: Totally right, because it don't mean you get from doing

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Speaker 2: those old behaviors. Yeah, break that pattern for.

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Speaker 1: The moment it feels great, but long term it doesn't

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Speaker 1: serve us.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, So was it sixteen you and you basically

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Speaker 2: had to leave home.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So when did the shift in to fitness start?

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Speaker 1: Was it around then? It was it a bit later.

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Speaker 1: I was always into fitness, and I got a job

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Speaker 1: at seventeen at a gym. That was when I met

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Speaker 1: my husband at nineteen, and he was a personal trainer,

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Speaker 1: so I kind of became his shadow, and I was

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Speaker 1: doing you know, do you remember those bikini competitions and

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Speaker 1: clubs and nightclubs.

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Speaker 2: Okay, let's just talk about that, because I was saying

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Speaker 2: I did not have a body for a bikini at

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Speaker 2: that age.

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Speaker 1: Well, how did you feel.

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Speaker 3: About yourself back then?

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Speaker 1: I mean I hated myself, but I also worked really

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Speaker 1: hard and was very streat with my food to have

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Speaker 1: a body that won competitions. I don't think I was

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Speaker 1: the prettiest girl on stage, but I had a dancing

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Speaker 1: background so I could perform on stage, and I trained

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Speaker 1: my absolute ass off to be in the best shape

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Speaker 1: I could. Because the bikini competitions were fun and they

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Speaker 1: also got me money. Yeah, if you won, you won

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Speaker 1: a thousand dollars. So I was doing them every single weekend.

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Speaker 1: There was a source of main income for many years.

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Speaker 1: So then that's how my career started. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: how do you stay in shape for this comps? What

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Speaker 1: are you eating? What exercise are you doing? And we

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Speaker 1: built a boot camp from that that grew like crazy,

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Speaker 1: well week bikini got each other. Yeah, yeah, and that's

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Speaker 1: what it was called bikini Body because I was on

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Speaker 1: stage in bikinis.

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Speaker 2: If you go back to when you were a sort

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Speaker 2: of like seed, do you ever remember having an ambition

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Speaker 2: to do something else that didn't happen that way?

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Speaker 1: No, I honestly had a belief that I would never

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Speaker 1: make anything of myself, wasn't worthy of being there. I

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Speaker 1: was dumb. That was my biggest story that I was dumb,

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Speaker 1: because my stepdad just told me how dumb or worthless

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Speaker 1: I was my whole life. So I truly believed that.

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Speaker 1: Then I met my husband and I lost my job

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Speaker 1: at the time, and he was like, you've been helping

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Speaker 1: me with the pta work. You can go and do

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Speaker 1: your course. And I was like, no way, I won't

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Speaker 1: ever pass it, like I'm too dumb. He was like, well,

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Speaker 1: I've got you a scholarship like it was a government funding. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so you're gonna go do your course and I failed

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Speaker 1: it three times before I got qualified.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you failed at three dumbs. Did you want to

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Speaker 3: give up in that process?

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Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah? I would have massive tantrums like two year

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Speaker 1: old to my husband and he was like, go again.

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Speaker 1: I don't care how many times you're going to go again,

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Speaker 1: and just pushed and pushed and pushed me. And thank goodness,

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Speaker 1: you did believed in me before I believed in myself.

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Speaker 2: I was there, say so having somebody in your corner obviously,

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, But what if you didn't.

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Speaker 1: Have that, I would have given up? You reckon? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know I would have. I was just gone back

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Speaker 1: into retail and just struggled my whole life and made

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Speaker 1: up stories that everyone else was lucky. I could never

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Speaker 1: do anything. And definitely, how do you feel about that

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Speaker 1: limiting belief today? You know, I'd be lying of us

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Speaker 1: that it doesn't still pop up every now and again.

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Speaker 1: But it's definitely an old story that I don't truly believe.

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Speaker 1: And even my mum said to me something recently. She

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Speaker 1: was like, you're not dumb. You're actually really smart when

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Speaker 1: you're interested in something, and the way they taught you

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Speaker 1: at school just wasn't how you learn, you're very hands on,

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Speaker 1: you're very visual, So putting you in a Master of

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Speaker 1: Science class, yes, when you had no interest, but you

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Speaker 1: just didn't learn like that. So that's really true.

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Speaker 3: I think I'm exactly the same.

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Speaker 2: I really not be with it when I'm talking about

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Speaker 2: something that's not my topic.

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Speaker 1: Literally, I think everyone's the same, right, I love that?

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Speaker 2: Okay, thinking around setbacks, now, obviously you've run out a

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Speaker 2: multitude of businesses and so forth.

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Speaker 1: When you look back, what.

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Speaker 2: It was probably the standout moment where you kind of

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Speaker 2: felt like you lost your way?

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Speaker 1: Oh. I think when the online trolling became really heavy.

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Speaker 1: We were pretty early on Instagram. It wasn't a thing

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Speaker 1: that people really use. It was a fresh app, and

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Speaker 1: we put our transformations on that. I just started my

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Speaker 1: life on there pretty openly, and you know, in business,

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Speaker 1: we did make a few mistakes over the years, but

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Speaker 1: it was for millions of people to view and criticize

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Speaker 1: and judge. So when that all started coming in quite heavy,

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Speaker 1: I yeah, I've spoken about it before, but I was

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Speaker 1: in a really dark place where I plan on leaving

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Speaker 1: Earth's side because I just felt like it was never

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Speaker 1: going to go away, and I couldn't get out of it,

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Speaker 1: and it just felt so heavy, and everyone I spoke

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Speaker 1: to no one had been through what I went through,

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Speaker 1: so I felt once again so alone like I did

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Speaker 1: when I was a little girl, which I think a

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Speaker 1: lesson is repeated until you learn it. So it kind

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Speaker 1: of forced me into my journey of self development and

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Speaker 1: also putting my hand up and saying I'm not okay,

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Speaker 1: I need some help. But there's been many times with

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Speaker 1: business that I'm just like, I can't do this. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to do this. Business is not easy. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: if I didn't have my husband, I probably, I mean

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Speaker 1: probably our podcasts we could, but I would not be

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Speaker 1: running Hideaway if I didn't have Steve. There's no way.

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Speaker 1: I look at his job and I'm like, fuck that.

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Speaker 1: It is not for my brain. I don't enjoy what

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Speaker 1: he does. We've both got different strengths in the businesses,

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Speaker 1: which works really well together. He couldn't do what I

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Speaker 1: do and I couldn't do what he does. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's not what the fain is. It's a really good lesson.

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Speaker 2: I think I know at the moment in launching a

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Speaker 2: new business, there are parts of it that I'm just

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Speaker 2: not good at Yeah, I just sort of sometimes turn

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Speaker 2: a blind eye to like, yeah, finance stuff that come

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Speaker 2: in that I, oh, yeah, I think get But they

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Speaker 2: don't really have anyone.

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Speaker 3: To do that either.

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Speaker 1: And that's the thing at the start of running a business,

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Speaker 1: sometimes you have to put your big girl pants on

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Speaker 1: and just do it. At the start, when it was

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Speaker 1: just Steve and I, we had to do everything, and

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Speaker 1: I think that's why we made so many mistakes, because

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Speaker 1: we're like, we're running blind here. No one's done what

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Speaker 1: we're done. We don't know how we're doing it. Social

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Speaker 1: media is this new thing that we're navigating. But the

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Speaker 1: mistakes that you do make you learn big lessons. But

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Speaker 1: as soon as we could afford to delegate, we did

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Speaker 1: so we.

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Speaker 2: Did self doubt come in along the process, Like was

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Speaker 2: there any moment You're like, should I really be doing

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Speaker 2: this all the time.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't come up much these days, but I reckon

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Speaker 1: for the first ten years of being a business. I

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Speaker 1: fully had a story too that I couldn't do it

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Speaker 1: without Steve. Yeah, but I still do. How story both

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Speaker 1: still there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I acknowledge my strengths and

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Speaker 1: I know my strengths, and I'm proud of what I've

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Speaker 1: contributed to the business, but yeah, the self doubt was

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Speaker 1: always there. Even like running my first group session. I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't do it unless he was beside me. So one

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Speaker 1: day he just didn't turn up. We had like thirty

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Speaker 1: girls to just Yeah, we went to run it together

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Speaker 1: and he called me. He said, oh, my car's broken down.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna have to run the session. Who lied? And

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Speaker 1: I was like, I can't run this becues Sorry, babe,

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Speaker 1: you got it. They're paying. So we hung up the

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Speaker 1: phone and I had thirty girls in front of me,

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Speaker 1: super eager, ready to go, so i'd to buy myself

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Speaker 1: some time. Said okay, warm up, everyone, run up the

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Speaker 1: hell and back twice, and I had to think of

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Speaker 1: a session and I did it and I ran and

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Speaker 1: I was like, wow, that story that I can't do it,

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Speaker 1: I've got evidence that I can do it because we're

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Speaker 1: talking about before.

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Speaker 2: So for me, bold is the moments of resistance come up,

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Speaker 2: which for you is like if Steve's not there on something,

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Speaker 2: I guess it's going to be there on how am

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Speaker 2: I going to do it?

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Speaker 3: What resistance still comes up?

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Speaker 2: For you? The things that you have to sort of

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Speaker 2: that you're like, oh, yucky feeling comes over.

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Speaker 3: I mean for me, I hate networking right.

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Speaker 1: Oh super soch she got as my husband don't like it.

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Speaker 2: As soon as someone puts a phone call in and says, hey,

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Speaker 2: we've got an event we'd love you.

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Speaker 1: To go to.

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Speaker 2: I just get this that you do it, and then

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Speaker 2: I start making excuses. Oh yeah, I had a big week.

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Speaker 2: You know, I've really got to prioritize doing this that I.

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Speaker 1: Make excuses because I like it. Now, I know that.

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Speaker 2: That feeling coming up is the green light you must proceed,

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Speaker 2: is to opportunity.

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Speaker 3: There still get resistance to anything.

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Speaker 1: Else, not so much these days. There's resistance around anything

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Speaker 1: that roves around spreadsheets out of think think my to

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Speaker 1: do list is quite big, maybe a bit resistant there,

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Speaker 1: but no, I don't. I don't get much any growing

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Speaker 1: through a lot of that now.

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Speaker 2: And obviously exercises a huge toolkit in your resilience talk.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely I need to get more in their bad wagon.

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Speaker 2: But is there anything else that you do to reset

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Speaker 2: yourself when things just do turn to custard a bit?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just getting back to my body, like whether it's

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Speaker 1: just taking five minutes tosted in the sun and just

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Speaker 1: regulate my breath because I just find when I can

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Speaker 1: get back to my center of like a slow breath,

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Speaker 1: that I can get clarity and make decisions that are

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Speaker 1: truly aligned with where I'm at. And then from a

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Speaker 1: grounded place, not a reactional emotional place. I'm pretty good

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Speaker 1: at taking care of myself. So even on the weekends

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Speaker 1: like Saen a Sunday morning, for example, my partner and

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Speaker 1: I we will tag team a couple of hours each,

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Speaker 1: so I'll go for a walk, go to the gym,

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Speaker 1: get out in the sunshine for two hours, and he

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Speaker 1: goes and does it. So we're making sure that we've

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Speaker 1: got that time to just recharge our own batteries. Because

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Speaker 1: when you're running a just looking after a team, you've

400
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Speaker 1: got young children, you're trying to be a good friend,

401
00:15:08,681 --> 00:15:10,601
Speaker 1: trying to look after your health, all the different things

402
00:15:10,641 --> 00:15:13,441
Speaker 1: and life stresses, it can be really overwhelming and you

403
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Speaker 1: can be quite disregulated all the time. So just trying

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Speaker 1: to calm my nervous and things like sauna, exercise, plugging

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Speaker 1: into my girlfriends, eating a really well balanced diet. I

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Speaker 1: don't drink any alcohol. I haven't over five years, don't

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Speaker 1: do any drugs, getting enough sleep, red light therapy, Like

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Speaker 1: all the little things that you don't think make a

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Speaker 1: difference over a long span of time, they really do.

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Speaker 2: Because at the moment the burnout with building businesses off,

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Speaker 2: and you just think, if I'm not working, there's something

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Speaker 2: that's like, how could.

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Speaker 1: I give time to myself? I know, but it's like

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Speaker 1: a phone battery. Your phone literally will not work unless

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Speaker 1: you plug it in each night. We're the same. I'm

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Speaker 1: not good to anyone in a disregulated state. I'm snappy,

417
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Speaker 1: I'm impatient, i can't make decisions, i can't think clear.

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Speaker 1: When I'm in a regulated state, I'm way more productive.

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Speaker 1: Also understanding my cycle as well and working with that.

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Speaker 1: Got the four different phases of our cycle. Yeah, So

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Speaker 1: in my illdeal phase, I'm like I'm hopeless, useless for anyone.

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Speaker 1: When I'm ovulating, I'm like ready to go, full of energy,

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Speaker 1: I'm clear minded, I'm happy. I'm in a high vibe.

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Speaker 1: That's my hustle week. It's two weeks out of the

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Speaker 1: month where I'm like thriving and feeling so good. So

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Speaker 1: try and time my events when I come up here

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Speaker 1: to record, even if I can, but I try and

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Speaker 1: work in around my cycle and I find that really

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Speaker 1: helps as well.

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Speaker 2: So interesting because I've interviewed a lot of very successful

431
00:16:26,241 --> 00:16:29,921
Speaker 2: business people, and to be honest, it's probably weighted a

432
00:16:29,921 --> 00:16:31,521
Speaker 2: lot of the time that they are just burning them

433
00:16:31,561 --> 00:16:32,401
Speaker 2: ourselves out too much.

434
00:16:32,441 --> 00:16:34,441
Speaker 3: So there's not enough balance.

435
00:16:34,121 --> 00:16:35,721
Speaker 1: Or melor aside, isn't it?

436
00:16:35,721 --> 00:16:38,961
Speaker 2: It is a beat And I think because there's probably

437
00:16:39,441 --> 00:16:41,561
Speaker 2: not enough conversation of how you can balance the two.

438
00:16:41,721 --> 00:16:44,001
Speaker 2: Like there's people in very successful roles, but the price,

439
00:16:44,041 --> 00:16:44,801
Speaker 2: there's always.

440
00:16:44,521 --> 00:16:45,961
Speaker 3: Been a price to pay cost.

441
00:16:46,121 --> 00:16:47,841
Speaker 1: But I'm hearing from you is that there is a

442
00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:48,601
Speaker 1: way to have.

443
00:16:48,521 --> 00:16:50,681
Speaker 2: Success, but it's also not negotiable for you by the

444
00:16:50,681 --> 00:16:52,321
Speaker 2: sounds of It's not like a thing I do if

445
00:16:52,361 --> 00:16:52,921
Speaker 2: I have time.

446
00:16:53,241 --> 00:16:55,841
Speaker 1: No, it's non negotiable. It's just so important. And I

447
00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:58,401
Speaker 1: think because I've been through the burnout phase, and I've

448
00:16:58,441 --> 00:17:01,081
Speaker 1: also been celebrated and praised to being Oh my god,

449
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,961
Speaker 1: you get so much done. When you get that kind

450
00:17:02,961 --> 00:17:05,001
Speaker 1: of feedback, you're like, oh, okay, I'll keep going for that.

451
00:17:05,521 --> 00:17:07,881
Speaker 1: But I got diagnosed with a brain aneurysm last year

452
00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:11,480
Speaker 1: and I sat in hospital after the diagnosis and I

453
00:17:11,481 --> 00:17:12,961
Speaker 1: had to stay in there for like forty eight hours.

454
00:17:13,001 --> 00:17:15,201
Speaker 1: And I had forty eight hours just by myself, no children,

455
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,801
Speaker 1: no work, no distractions, and I felt like the universe

456
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,120
Speaker 1: sounds so rude. It was just like, what the fuck

457
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,600
Speaker 1: are you doing? Are you happy? And do you see

458
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,880
Speaker 1: yourself doing this in five years time? If not? Things

459
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:29,120
Speaker 1: got to change, and within that forty eight hours, I

460
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 1: decided to close down my whole fitness career. I had

461
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,041
Speaker 1: an app, very successful app. I had an active label

462
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,521
Speaker 1: and like a whole team that I felt like I

463
00:17:37,521 --> 00:17:39,801
Speaker 1: was gonna let down. But I just felt like, for

464
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,080
Speaker 1: what would that decision had happened if you hadn't have

465
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,961
Speaker 1: had the brain aneurism. In order keep going, you ha

466
00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:45,840
Speaker 1: to keep going. Yeah, I ort to keep going because

467
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,120
Speaker 1: I felt like a sense of responsibility for my community.

468
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,840
Speaker 1: I did love what I was doing, but it was

469
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,680
Speaker 1: at the sacrifice of my energy, my time, my health,

470
00:17:53,801 --> 00:17:56,281
Speaker 1: away from my kids. It wasn't as present because when

471
00:17:56,321 --> 00:17:58,241
Speaker 1: you were running a business, I felt like I was

472
00:17:58,281 --> 00:18:00,041
Speaker 1: just always in my phone. There's always something to do.

473
00:18:00,521 --> 00:18:02,681
Speaker 1: And I felt like this was an opportunity to reflect

474
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:04,440
Speaker 1: and just ask myself, like why do I keep wanting

475
00:18:04,441 --> 00:18:06,921
Speaker 1: more when I launched an active recollection. It goes so well.

476
00:18:06,921 --> 00:18:09,920
Speaker 1: I wasn't even celebrating that. I was like, oh, next one, next, next,

477
00:18:09,961 --> 00:18:13,960
Speaker 1: for what? Why? And I had a realization that with

478
00:18:14,001 --> 00:18:15,801
Speaker 1: the stepfather told me I was useless and I was

479
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,521
Speaker 1: never going to make anything of myself. I was trying

480
00:18:17,521 --> 00:18:20,321
Speaker 1: to prove to everyone around me and to prove to

481
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,920
Speaker 1: myself that I could do it. Then was sitting in

482
00:18:21,921 --> 00:18:24,161
Speaker 1: the hospital and just being like, you've done more than

483
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,801
Speaker 1: you would have ever dreamed off. And I reflected on

484
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,281
Speaker 1: all my achievements. I was like, you don't have to

485
00:18:28,321 --> 00:18:31,120
Speaker 1: prove anything anymore. Yeah, And once I let go of that,

486
00:18:31,201 --> 00:18:33,440
Speaker 1: I was like, what do I actually want to do?

487
00:18:33,521 --> 00:18:36,161
Speaker 1: What do I enjoy doing? It's talking, it's making impact,

488
00:18:36,201 --> 00:18:38,400
Speaker 1: it's having a heart led business, not just a product

489
00:18:38,481 --> 00:18:42,120
Speaker 1: business that makes money and turns over and constant go go, go,

490
00:18:42,201 --> 00:18:44,840
Speaker 1: and hustle, hustle, hustle. So it was quind an easy

491
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,241
Speaker 1: decision of that at that moment. So going between you

492
00:18:47,281 --> 00:18:48,440
Speaker 1: get the phone call to this kind of at the

493
00:18:48,441 --> 00:18:51,681
Speaker 1: blue my aneurysm diagnosis, No, I lost my sight three

494
00:18:51,681 --> 00:18:54,561
Speaker 1: times in that week. Two times were post training, So

495
00:18:54,561 --> 00:18:56,201
Speaker 1: I thought I just had like a tight neck or something.

496
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,441
Speaker 1: And then the third one was a Sunday morning read

497
00:18:58,481 --> 00:19:00,640
Speaker 1: a family breakfast and I couldn't see. So my husband

498
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,481
Speaker 1: took me to a doctor and he looked in my eyes.

499
00:19:02,521 --> 00:19:04,721
Speaker 1: He's like, everything looks all right, but I'm going to

500
00:19:04,761 --> 00:19:06,561
Speaker 1: see you hospital when you go to an emergency and

501
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,160
Speaker 1: just get a CT scan, and yeah, they found an aneurysm.

502
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,200
Speaker 1: Can you remember in that moment here he felt my

503
00:19:11,321 --> 00:19:14,160
Speaker 1: husband had had a brain aneurysm, My grand dropped dead

504
00:19:14,201 --> 00:19:15,761
Speaker 1: of one, my uncle dropped dead of one, and my

505
00:19:15,801 --> 00:19:19,480
Speaker 1: other uncle has one. So it was pretty confronting. So

506
00:19:19,481 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 1: I would call him my husband and yeah, I could

507
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,561
Speaker 1: tell he was trying to keep calm for me, but

508
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,001
Speaker 1: he was obviously shocked. His was way worse than mine,

509
00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:28,081
Speaker 1: like a lot bigger and many years ago. And I'm

510
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,201
Speaker 1: a young Yours was that you're a healthy I'm probably

511
00:19:31,241 --> 00:19:34,441
Speaker 1: the people I know, And yeah, to get that news

512
00:19:34,481 --> 00:19:36,680
Speaker 1: is quite scary, but also very lucky, because one in

513
00:19:36,761 --> 00:19:38,640
Speaker 1: twenty people are walking around with aneurism. They have no

514
00:19:38,681 --> 00:19:40,200
Speaker 1: idea and if that was to rupture when I'm out

515
00:19:40,201 --> 00:19:41,921
Speaker 1: and about, I wouldn't make it to the hospital. I'd

516
00:19:41,961 --> 00:19:42,241
Speaker 1: be dead.

517
00:19:42,521 --> 00:19:43,641
Speaker 3: Obviously, you're doing okay now.

518
00:19:43,721 --> 00:19:45,561
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I had one operation where they put a

519
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,681
Speaker 1: stent into the aneurysm. Oh yeah. While they're in there,

520
00:19:47,681 --> 00:19:49,041
Speaker 1: they found another one. So I had to wait a

521
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,400
Speaker 1: couple of months for this one to heal, and then

522
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,880
Speaker 1: they went back in and healed the second one. And

523
00:19:52,961 --> 00:19:55,120
Speaker 1: then I've got a surgery this Friday where they go

524
00:19:55,241 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 1: up through my artery and flush a hole your die

525
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,080
Speaker 1: through my brain and they'll take a bunch of really

526
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,161
Speaker 1: clear scans to make sure that everything's all good.

527
00:20:01,321 --> 00:20:03,440
Speaker 2: Okay, even you admitted that had it not been for that,

528
00:20:03,481 --> 00:20:05,200
Speaker 2: maybe you would not have made the choices that you make.

529
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,801
Speaker 2: Things so like, it is a shame though, that we

530
00:20:07,801 --> 00:20:10,881
Speaker 2: will have to have these like really serious circles. I mean,

531
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:14,321
Speaker 2: it's amazing. It's like, how do we avoid that being

532
00:20:14,321 --> 00:20:15,481
Speaker 2: the reason that we make change?

533
00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:16,920
Speaker 1: I know, I don't think it's part of our journey.

534
00:20:16,961 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 1: Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom. Because once your

535
00:20:18,921 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 1: rock bottom, the by the way out of it is up,

536
00:20:20,961 --> 00:20:23,001
Speaker 1: life will give you. I believe life gives you like

537
00:20:23,041 --> 00:20:25,480
Speaker 1: little whispers yes, and then like it'll get a bit

538
00:20:25,521 --> 00:20:28,001
Speaker 1: louder and louder, push and push and push and scream

539
00:20:28,041 --> 00:20:28,920
Speaker 1: at you until your stop.

540
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,721
Speaker 2: Yeah at the other day, and I'm like, I'm a

541
00:20:30,761 --> 00:20:31,801
Speaker 2: pretty stable person.

542
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of stress recently.

543
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 2: Love that that reason, I don't want took it up.

544
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,880
Speaker 2: But I had a couple of moments last week with

545
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,840
Speaker 2: just so much work going on where they got a

546
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,241
Speaker 2: bit teary, and I'm lot like tear for no reason,

547
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,160
Speaker 2: and I'm always like, oh, that's a sign they've got

548
00:20:45,201 --> 00:20:46,961
Speaker 2: to do something. I've got to go have a really

549
00:20:47,001 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 2: good sleep tonight and just push work down, or I've

550
00:20:49,001 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 2: got to go for a walk or whatever it is.

551
00:20:50,561 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 2: I do you have yourself the signs is important? How

552
00:20:53,761 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 2: did motherhood change?

553
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:55,120
Speaker 3: Also?

554
00:20:55,201 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 2: This very ambitious I've got to take it all on

555
00:20:57,801 --> 00:20:59,561
Speaker 2: Ashy like did that change things for you as well?

556
00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 1: It did, because it didn't for me. So yeah, I

557
00:21:03,961 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 1: think I really struggle with becoming a mom with my

558
00:21:06,481 --> 00:21:09,120
Speaker 1: first child. He's nine now, So I think work was

559
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 1: a way for me to avoid and numb out. I

560
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,121
Speaker 1: felt successful in work, so I wanted to go back

561
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 1: to work quite quickly. And I carried a little bit

562
00:21:16,561 --> 00:21:18,680
Speaker 1: of shame to saying that out loud, but it's my truth.

563
00:21:18,961 --> 00:21:21,961
Speaker 1: I didn't cope with the newborn. I didn't enjoy having

564
00:21:21,961 --> 00:21:25,721
Speaker 1: a newborn baby. So work was kind of my way

565
00:21:25,761 --> 00:21:27,440
Speaker 1: to feel back to me again and back to that

566
00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:30,561
Speaker 1: identity and where I felt successful and where people love

567
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,360
Speaker 1: me for the fitness and all that kind of stuff.

568
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 1: But now I love still having a career because I

569
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,281
Speaker 1: think it's important to have purpose and passion outside of

570
00:21:39,281 --> 00:21:41,561
Speaker 1: being a mother. And I want my kids to see

571
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,921
Speaker 1: Meswitch lanes and change my mind and try things because

572
00:21:43,921 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 1: I want them to try different things until they find

573
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,801
Speaker 1: what they love. And even when I go to work,

574
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,360
Speaker 1: it's important for them to know that you need to

575
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:51,160
Speaker 1: work hard to achieve your dreams. And what kind of

576
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:52,401
Speaker 1: life do you want? Do you want an amal life?

577
00:21:52,441 --> 00:21:53,841
Speaker 1: Do you want an average life? Would you want an

578
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,841
Speaker 1: extraordinary life? That's going to take sacrifice and hard work,

579
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 1: and you do have to put your head down, bum up.

580
00:21:58,281 --> 00:22:00,801
Speaker 1: It's not easy. I love the way that I live

581
00:22:00,921 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 1: and I love the example that I am for my

582
00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 1: kids these days. Take care of myself but also have

583
00:22:06,441 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 1: passion and purpose and I make big impact in a

584
00:22:08,921 --> 00:22:09,481
Speaker 1: positive way.

585
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,360
Speaker 2: Okay, I want to wet the big V word, and

586
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,121
Speaker 2: it's not the words you're thinking of, So it's vulnerability.

587
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:17,401
Speaker 2: I mean being on social media and the way is vulnerable,

588
00:22:17,441 --> 00:22:18,680
Speaker 2: and it's in its biggest sense.

589
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,001
Speaker 1: There was probably a period there in your early days.

590
00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:23,041
Speaker 2: Certainly, I'm assuming it's not now because obviously I can

591
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 2: see much growth you've had.

592
00:22:23,961 --> 00:22:26,160
Speaker 1: But was it a worry every time you posted?

593
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it was horrible, like waiting at your phone

594
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:30,721
Speaker 2: to see if it's going to get likes or comments

595
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 2: like relentless negative comment.

596
00:22:32,921 --> 00:22:35,441
Speaker 1: I don't know how a person would unless your robot,

597
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:37,360
Speaker 1: not get affected by that. Oh yeah, well I nearly

598
00:22:37,441 --> 00:22:39,561
Speaker 1: ended my life over it. There was literally like a

599
00:22:39,561 --> 00:22:41,561
Speaker 1: page one point with over ten thousand people on it

600
00:22:41,561 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 1: that was like Asheywyn's exposed. There was five women on

601
00:22:44,281 --> 00:22:47,840
Speaker 1: a rotating roster on Snapchat watching my every move, every

602
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,321
Speaker 1: Instagram photo that I upload. They'd posted in the forum

603
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,001
Speaker 1: say everyone go on comment there. So I'd just turned

604
00:22:52,001 --> 00:22:55,161
Speaker 1: my comments off for like six months straight. It was awful.

605
00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 1: It was a lot. I don't know how I got

606
00:22:57,281 --> 00:22:58,801
Speaker 1: through it. I looked back, I'm like, how the fuck

607
00:22:58,880 --> 00:22:59,601
Speaker 1: did I get through that?

608
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously a great network around you, but yeah,

609
00:23:02,801 --> 00:23:05,321
Speaker 2: did it make you hate that industry? I mean, your

610
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 2: life has been as an influencer, you know, did you

611
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,241
Speaker 2: want to turn your back on socials completely because you haven't.

612
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:14,041
Speaker 1: I did, but at the height of my career, it

613
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,241
Speaker 1: was also doing so well, so I had the light

614
00:23:17,281 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 1: and the dark. I knew I was helping hundreds of

615
00:23:19,721 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 1: thousands of women that absolutely loved me, and I had

616
00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:25,641
Speaker 1: this group over here that fucking hated me. So they

617
00:23:25,721 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 1: definitely kept me going because the messages I received from

618
00:23:28,561 --> 00:23:30,640
Speaker 1: them of how much impact I was making. And I

619
00:23:30,681 --> 00:23:33,521
Speaker 1: also had a team and staff that were in jobs

620
00:23:33,521 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 1: and love what they do, so I felt a sense

621
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 1: of responsibility to keep that all afloat because it was

622
00:23:37,761 --> 00:23:39,321
Speaker 1: my face on the front. No one else could step

623
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 1: in and do what I did, so I didn't really

624
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,561
Speaker 1: feel like I had a choice or an option to

625
00:23:43,721 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 1: just quit and not show up. If it was just me,

626
00:23:46,481 --> 00:23:48,281
Speaker 1: I would have, but I wanted to keep going for

627
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 1: my community and for my staff as well.

628
00:23:51,201 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 2: I think I'm just thinking about some of our listeners,

629
00:23:53,201 --> 00:23:55,521
Speaker 2: and I mean, your situation is extreme right in that

630
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 2: level of sort of negativity and so forth. But is

631
00:23:58,481 --> 00:24:01,441
Speaker 2: the answer to this then to put more over indexing

632
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:04,041
Speaker 2: on the positive, like focusing on all the good comments

633
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 2: and the good that you're doing, and trying to just

634
00:24:06,041 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 2: like block out the negative.

635
00:24:07,201 --> 00:24:10,481
Speaker 1: All it sounds good and yes, definitely try, but unfortunately

636
00:24:10,561 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 1: you can get one hundred good comments, you get two

637
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:17,961
Speaker 1: bad ones. They're really loud. But I think nowadays I

638
00:24:18,001 --> 00:24:20,721
Speaker 1: have a lot of compassion for where those comments come at.

639
00:24:20,801 --> 00:24:22,321
Speaker 1: They're not easy to receive, and I still don't want

640
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:23,841
Speaker 1: to read them, and a lot of the time I'll

641
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:25,241
Speaker 1: just block them because I'm like, I can't be bothered

642
00:24:25,241 --> 00:24:27,561
Speaker 1: with you. But I know that it's not about me.

643
00:24:27,801 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 1: I know it's their own projections. I know they're triggered

644
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,441
Speaker 1: for whatever reason. I know they're going through a hard time.

645
00:24:32,521 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 1: I don't know what their experience, so I just try

646
00:24:34,721 --> 00:24:37,521
Speaker 1: to come from a place of understanding and like wrap

647
00:24:37,561 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 1: myself in a visible bubble wrap and just not let

648
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 1: it come in. But there's definitely times where it's hard

649
00:24:42,801 --> 00:24:44,640
Speaker 1: or but if a comment comes in that's annoying me,

650
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:45,920
Speaker 1: I'll just go to my best friend and be like,

651
00:24:46,001 --> 00:24:48,561
Speaker 1: oh my god, this person, yeah, yeah, I said this

652
00:24:48,681 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 1: and it's annoying me. And once I talk about it

653
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,400
Speaker 1: and bring it forward, process it it just as I

654
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:53,121
Speaker 1: like what you.

655
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 2: Said there, because that is such beautiful empathy in action.

656
00:24:55,961 --> 00:24:56,801
Speaker 1: I went to I don't know.

657
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 2: Do you know who Doctor Chattered Years. He's got a podcast.

658
00:24:59,321 --> 00:25:01,241
Speaker 2: He's a doctor from the UK. He talked in Brisbane

659
00:25:01,281 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 2: this week and I went there and he talks about

660
00:25:03,441 --> 00:25:06,120
Speaker 2: this woman he interviewed who was nine. It's a short

661
00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:08,241
Speaker 2: story but at the links. So basically she was around

662
00:25:08,321 --> 00:25:10,640
Speaker 2: during the war and she was dancer and she's about

663
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,041
Speaker 2: to go dancing. She was about sixteen and her whole

664
00:25:13,041 --> 00:25:15,801
Speaker 2: family got whisked off to this concentration camp and within

665
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,801
Speaker 2: an hour of getting the concentration gap, her mother and

666
00:25:17,801 --> 00:25:19,481
Speaker 2: her father were both killed instantaneously.

667
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:20,521
Speaker 1: And then she was.

668
00:25:20,481 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 2: Asked to dance for the guards, right dancer, And he

669
00:25:23,801 --> 00:25:27,001
Speaker 2: was saying, how do you do that? And she said,

670
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,321
Speaker 2: I got to a place where I actually felt sorry

671
00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:31,880
Speaker 2: for the guards. They were in a prison, they were

672
00:25:31,921 --> 00:25:33,561
Speaker 2: prisoned in there. If you think about she said, I'm

673
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,001
Speaker 2: a free person. You know, they don't have freedom to

674
00:25:36,041 --> 00:25:38,321
Speaker 2: think their own thoughts. They get controlled. And so she

675
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,361
Speaker 2: had such empathy for people who are doing awful things

676
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:41,921
Speaker 2: for her that.

677
00:25:41,961 --> 00:25:43,161
Speaker 3: The anger just wasn't there.

678
00:25:43,481 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 2: And I feel like what you said reminded me of that,

679
00:25:46,681 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 2: because I was like, if you can get to a

680
00:25:48,001 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 2: place where you can look at somebody who's being negative

681
00:25:50,721 --> 00:25:52,521
Speaker 2: and horrible to you and they have some empathy of

682
00:25:52,561 --> 00:25:53,401
Speaker 2: wonder where they're at.

683
00:25:54,441 --> 00:25:56,761
Speaker 3: That doesn't it just dissipate the heat stars?

684
00:25:56,801 --> 00:25:59,561
Speaker 1: Have you seen it Unbroken? It's a war movie as well,

685
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,721
Speaker 1: similar story. He was a prisoner for like three years

686
00:26:02,761 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: and they just got picked on anyway. They show that

687
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 1: the end. The eighty year old man that goes back

688
00:26:06,561 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 1: to Japan meets with his captors, forgives them competes in

689
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 1: the Olympic over there, lives over there and just like

690
00:26:11,721 --> 00:26:14,041
Speaker 1: wants to create peace in Japan where all this trauma happened.

691
00:26:14,041 --> 00:26:15,761
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I bore my eyes, like.

692
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,841
Speaker 2: Wow, it feels like it's beyond human behavior again, how

693
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,601
Speaker 2: can you forgive it? It proves that if you can

694
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,641
Speaker 2: do that, then technically that could not. I mean, we're

695
00:26:23,721 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 2: human at the end of the day, right, But I

696
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 2: think it's a good example of if people want an

697
00:26:27,561 --> 00:26:30,201
Speaker 2: actual tactic as opposed to just think of the positive,

698
00:26:30,761 --> 00:26:33,360
Speaker 2: it's changing that mindset. It is right to having an

699
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,321
Speaker 2: anthetic mindset just takes away there.

700
00:26:35,201 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 1: And still pretending that it doesn't affect you, like you're

701
00:26:37,001 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 1: allowed to be upset, Like I'm allowed to cry about it.

702
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: I'm like to have a moment where I'm having event

703
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,640
Speaker 1: about it, But then the more I bring it forward

704
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,281
Speaker 1: and just like let it be there, it just dissolves

705
00:26:44,321 --> 00:26:47,400
Speaker 1: so quickly. And Yeah, there's just so much good to

706
00:26:47,441 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 1: focus on as well.

707
00:26:48,561 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, going back, because I kind of feel like, again

708
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 2: I said, I didn't know a lot beforehand, but I

709
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,281
Speaker 2: already feel like there's two versions of Ashuy here, right,

710
00:26:55,441 --> 00:26:57,241
Speaker 2: And which is kind of cool because sometimes I speak

711
00:26:57,241 --> 00:26:59,561
Speaker 2: to people and they talk very much where they think

712
00:26:59,561 --> 00:27:02,041
Speaker 2: they're at now, but they haven't necessarily lined the lesson.

713
00:27:02,041 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 1: They just think they are. Whereas it's very clear.

714
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,081
Speaker 2: That you're quite honest about the that it wasn't always

715
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:08,400
Speaker 2: great and you had some real moments. So thinking that

716
00:27:08,481 --> 00:27:10,561
Speaker 2: a moment where you shared something, was there a moment

717
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,561
Speaker 2: where you felt most vulnerable sharing something publicly?

718
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think sharing how much the hate was affecting me.

719
00:27:17,801 --> 00:27:19,360
Speaker 1: You shared that, I shared it, and you know what

720
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:19,721
Speaker 1: it did?

721
00:27:19,961 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 3: What happened?

722
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 1: They loved it. It just came at me tenfold.

723
00:27:23,041 --> 00:27:24,961
Speaker 3: Then more negative or the good and more negative.

724
00:27:25,521 --> 00:27:27,561
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a game for them. They thought they

725
00:27:27,561 --> 00:27:29,761
Speaker 1: were winning and they go harder and it just made

726
00:27:29,801 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 1: it even worse. So really, like maye scared to be

727
00:27:33,521 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 1: vulnerable again? I was thinking, is that how ith come was?

728
00:27:36,041 --> 00:27:38,120
Speaker 1: And then I pretended that I was okay when I wasn't.

729
00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:42,201
Speaker 1: And that was a coping strategy for a while, whereas nowadays, yeah,

730
00:27:42,201 --> 00:27:44,640
Speaker 1: I feel very differently to it. But yeah, that was

731
00:27:44,681 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 1: hard to actually open up and just say like, I

732
00:27:46,681 --> 00:27:49,001
Speaker 1: feel like I don't want to be here. You guys

733
00:27:49,001 --> 00:27:51,321
Speaker 1: are killing me, like please, I beg you. So I

734
00:27:51,321 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 1: remember saying I beg you to stop, and it just

735
00:27:53,961 --> 00:27:56,440
Speaker 1: made it so much worse. It wasn't good evidence to

736
00:27:56,481 --> 00:27:57,001
Speaker 1: be vulnerable.

737
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:58,881
Speaker 2: No, I was gonna say that is probably an.

738
00:27:58,801 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 1: Example where it. Yeah, but then looking back now, I'm

739
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,880
Speaker 1: still proud of myself for showing up and being honest environment.

740
00:28:04,921 --> 00:28:08,041
Speaker 1: I wouldn't change it, and I want to lead like that.

741
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 1: I don't ever want to not be authentic. And I've

742
00:28:10,041 --> 00:28:12,521
Speaker 1: been online for seventeen years now. People can see through

743
00:28:12,521 --> 00:28:15,160
Speaker 1: your bullshit. Yeah, people can see straight through it. I

744
00:28:15,201 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 1: am still here, still succeeding, still thriving, still sharing all

745
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:21,441
Speaker 1: of that because I am my authentic self. People don't

746
00:28:21,481 --> 00:28:23,321
Speaker 1: last online because they put on this mask and be

747
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:25,241
Speaker 1: someone they think they need to be. But the real

748
00:28:25,281 --> 00:28:27,281
Speaker 1: people who you really connect to it, they're sharing it

749
00:28:27,321 --> 00:28:29,561
Speaker 1: all and they're just truly themselves and the kind of

750
00:28:29,561 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 1: people I love. I'm inspired by real people's stories, the

751
00:28:32,441 --> 00:28:34,841
Speaker 1: way they share, they how vulnerable they're, how brave they are,

752
00:28:35,241 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 1: how bold they are. Like, that's who I want to be.

753
00:28:36,921 --> 00:28:38,161
Speaker 1: If I want to see that change in the world,

754
00:28:38,161 --> 00:28:38,721
Speaker 1: it starts here.

755
00:28:39,001 --> 00:28:42,921
Speaker 2: Speaking of authenticity, I describe authenticity of the opportunity for

756
00:28:42,961 --> 00:28:44,561
Speaker 2: connection exceeds the fear of rejection.

757
00:28:44,761 --> 00:28:45,721
Speaker 1: That's so beautiful.

758
00:28:45,761 --> 00:28:47,921
Speaker 2: So you know, I know sometimes I get up and

759
00:28:47,961 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 2: do speaking gigs, right that someone in the room's going

760
00:28:50,521 --> 00:28:53,001
Speaker 2: to be thinking, who write, sit down?

761
00:28:53,121 --> 00:28:54,081
Speaker 3: Or she she's.

762
00:28:53,921 --> 00:28:55,841
Speaker 2: Loud, or she's a bit nuts, or you know whatever

763
00:28:55,881 --> 00:28:58,321
Speaker 2: they're thinking. Right, I say almost every speech I get

764
00:28:58,561 --> 00:28:59,561
Speaker 2: like someone in he will think that.

765
00:28:59,761 --> 00:29:01,721
Speaker 3: But that's okay, yeah, because.

766
00:29:01,401 --> 00:29:04,041
Speaker 2: Someone else in this room, and maybe it's only one person,

767
00:29:04,401 --> 00:29:06,481
Speaker 2: be like I care or I connect to what she

768
00:29:06,561 --> 00:29:08,801
Speaker 2: said or that makes me feel, and that is worth

769
00:29:08,801 --> 00:29:10,681
Speaker 2: while doing it, which to me is exactly what you

770
00:29:10,721 --> 00:29:12,481
Speaker 2: had the risk you take on social media, right, But

771
00:29:12,521 --> 00:29:14,841
Speaker 2: if you want to be authentic, you're hoping for that connection.

772
00:29:14,841 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 2: You're not worried about the rejection pace. I mean, we are,

773
00:29:17,761 --> 00:29:20,121
Speaker 2: but go back to the early days. How much was

774
00:29:20,161 --> 00:29:22,681
Speaker 2: that a tussle and attention to be authentic? Was there

775
00:29:22,681 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 2: a point in your career where you're like, A have

776
00:29:24,321 --> 00:29:25,041
Speaker 2: to shop like this.

777
00:29:25,601 --> 00:29:26,161
Speaker 1: I mean, you're.

778
00:29:26,041 --> 00:29:28,201
Speaker 2: Beautiful as she and you know, you've got an amazing

779
00:29:28,201 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 2: body and you're gorgeously pretty and you fit into it.

780
00:29:30,481 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: Like so a lot of people be like, oh, that

781
00:29:31,961 --> 00:29:32,601
Speaker 1: can't be real.

782
00:29:32,761 --> 00:29:34,641
Speaker 2: I mean you know, I mean, like did that if

783
00:29:34,641 --> 00:29:36,321
Speaker 2: they have moments where you were like that you had

784
00:29:36,321 --> 00:29:37,521
Speaker 2: to question whether you were being.

785
00:29:37,361 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: Authentic or you were a good A lot of the

786
00:29:39,441 --> 00:29:42,161
Speaker 1: stuff on there is not I think definitely. And I

787
00:29:42,201 --> 00:29:45,881
Speaker 1: think in my twenties I was still figuring out who

788
00:29:45,961 --> 00:29:47,961
Speaker 1: I was. I didn't actually know who I was. It

789
00:29:47,961 --> 00:29:50,721
Speaker 1: wasn't til my thirties and having kids and feeling solid

790
00:29:50,721 --> 00:29:52,681
Speaker 1: in my relationship and doing all this inner work that

791
00:29:52,761 --> 00:29:54,601
Speaker 1: I feel really grounded and who I am. So I

792
00:29:54,681 --> 00:29:57,001
Speaker 1: think I did struggle and what is too much to

793
00:29:57,041 --> 00:30:00,001
Speaker 1: share and what's okay to share? So I think that

794
00:30:00,121 --> 00:30:02,041
Speaker 1: I questioned a lot of it, but I just kept

795
00:30:02,081 --> 00:30:04,881
Speaker 1: sharing whatever was coming up, literally every single day for

796
00:30:04,921 --> 00:30:06,881
Speaker 1: like ten years straight. I jumped on Snapchat and would

797
00:30:06,921 --> 00:30:08,921
Speaker 1: walk and talk whatever's on my mind, whatever I was

798
00:30:08,921 --> 00:30:11,041
Speaker 1: struggling with a quote i'd seen. I would just talk

799
00:30:11,361 --> 00:30:13,521
Speaker 1: like they're my best friend every single day of ten years.

800
00:30:13,761 --> 00:30:16,881
Speaker 3: To me, that's amazing self belief. Like you talk about.

801
00:30:16,681 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 2: Self doubt, yeah, and imposters it and drome. My imagine

802
00:30:19,521 --> 00:30:22,401
Speaker 2: would have come up so sure, but yet you do that.

803
00:30:22,561 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 1: My mission still is to this day, is like, if

804
00:30:24,761 --> 00:30:27,681
Speaker 1: I can make impact on one person's life every single

805
00:30:27,801 --> 00:30:29,601
Speaker 1: day for the rest of my life, or die a

806
00:30:29,601 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 1: happy woman, because over the span of my life, that's

807
00:30:32,281 --> 00:30:34,401
Speaker 1: a lot of people. Yeah. So even if I'm speaking

808
00:30:34,401 --> 00:30:36,681
Speaker 1: to twenty thousand or forty thousand or eighty thousand on

809
00:30:36,721 --> 00:30:39,961
Speaker 1: social media at one time, if one person's impacted, job

810
00:30:40,001 --> 00:30:40,601
Speaker 1: well done.

811
00:30:40,721 --> 00:30:42,521
Speaker 2: So how do you draw a line between what's private

812
00:30:42,521 --> 00:30:44,321
Speaker 2: and what's public, Because anything you won't share online.

813
00:30:44,441 --> 00:30:47,681
Speaker 1: I mean my husband, I would share everything, but there's

814
00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:49,881
Speaker 1: just some things he's a bit more private with. He's

815
00:30:49,921 --> 00:30:53,001
Speaker 1: definitely more introverted and more private just in general. He

816
00:30:53,041 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: respects and understands that I'm an open book and I

817
00:30:54,961 --> 00:30:57,001
Speaker 1: love sharing. There's always a purpose behind it. But yeah,

818
00:30:57,041 --> 00:30:59,841
Speaker 1: I think I would share more intimate moments and more

819
00:31:00,081 --> 00:31:02,641
Speaker 1: if he was there. Yeah, like different parts of our

820
00:31:02,681 --> 00:31:06,241
Speaker 1: relationship and even different arguments the way we do things.

821
00:31:06,641 --> 00:31:09,521
Speaker 1: I think I would share more of parenting stuff, maybe

822
00:31:09,561 --> 00:31:12,761
Speaker 1: some stuff with parenting that isn't spoken about online, just

823
00:31:12,841 --> 00:31:16,281
Speaker 1: even opinions. But there's definitely a couple of things I

824
00:31:16,321 --> 00:31:18,401
Speaker 1: won't talk and it's his boundaries kind of don't talk

825
00:31:18,401 --> 00:31:20,601
Speaker 1: about that stuff to a certain degree. Yeah, I'll always

826
00:31:20,641 --> 00:31:22,681
Speaker 1: check with them, Like if I'm talking about something SEXI

827
00:31:22,761 --> 00:31:24,401
Speaker 1: late in the podcast, I'll check with them first, or

828
00:31:24,401 --> 00:31:25,841
Speaker 1: if I record it, I'll then give it to him

829
00:31:25,881 --> 00:31:27,720
Speaker 1: be like is this okay? You'd be like, oh, can

830
00:31:27,761 --> 00:31:29,321
Speaker 1: you just cut out that one sentence? Being in a

831
00:31:29,321 --> 00:31:31,681
Speaker 1: relationship you have to respect, and it's like compromise.

832
00:31:31,761 --> 00:31:34,121
Speaker 2: It's a pretty good balance given that the big social

833
00:31:34,161 --> 00:31:36,521
Speaker 2: presence and obviously then having some negativity online.

834
00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:39,041
Speaker 1: When we talk about trust, how easy do you trust people?

835
00:31:39,641 --> 00:31:43,241
Speaker 1: My husband would say too quickly, do you still do trust? Yeah?

836
00:31:43,281 --> 00:31:46,641
Speaker 1: I do, he doesn't. How have you not been scorned energy?

837
00:31:46,721 --> 00:31:49,881
Speaker 1: I just feel it. I just feel it. But I've

838
00:31:49,881 --> 00:31:53,041
Speaker 1: definitely had some friendship breakdowns and business relationships that haven't

839
00:31:53,041 --> 00:31:56,041
Speaker 1: worked out, which is really harder in my heart, my sleeve,

840
00:31:56,081 --> 00:31:58,841
Speaker 1: and I grieve past relationships even if I know they're

841
00:31:58,881 --> 00:32:01,401
Speaker 1: not serving me. But even when I met Tiana, which

842
00:32:01,441 --> 00:32:02,881
Speaker 1: is only like a year and a half ago, we

843
00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:04,681
Speaker 1: met at the gym, and it was just this instant

844
00:32:04,761 --> 00:32:07,121
Speaker 1: no that she needed to be in my life. And

845
00:32:07,161 --> 00:32:10,321
Speaker 1: I've never felt closer to someone. It's just a feeling.

846
00:32:10,441 --> 00:32:11,561
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't explain it.

847
00:32:11,641 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 2: I like that you haven't, you know, decided to hang.

848
00:32:13,801 --> 00:32:15,001
Speaker 2: I'm going to I'm gonna hold.

849
00:32:15,521 --> 00:32:17,761
Speaker 1: What husband does though he's watched me go through a

850
00:32:17,761 --> 00:32:21,841
Speaker 1: lot and he's different issues. Yeah, and he's really protective

851
00:32:21,921 --> 00:32:23,921
Speaker 1: of me too, Like when people first come in my life.

852
00:32:23,961 --> 00:32:26,401
Speaker 1: I've got friends too that are hyper protective as well.

853
00:32:26,881 --> 00:32:28,641
Speaker 1: What are their intentions? Where did you meet them? Like,

854
00:32:28,881 --> 00:32:31,041
Speaker 1: they'll tell me straight out they're using you. They want

855
00:32:31,041 --> 00:32:32,241
Speaker 1: what you can give, not who you are.

856
00:32:32,521 --> 00:32:34,401
Speaker 2: But you need to get those I'm like, yeah, I said,

857
00:32:34,441 --> 00:32:36,401
Speaker 2: those people watching it so annoying. Like a couple of

858
00:32:36,441 --> 00:32:38,161
Speaker 2: years later, they'll be like, I told you that one

859
00:32:38,241 --> 00:32:39,921
Speaker 2: I freaking told you she wanted you for this.

860
00:32:40,001 --> 00:32:41,561
Speaker 1: I'm like, damn'd listen to you.

861
00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 2: But I think at the end of the day, I mean,

862
00:32:43,521 --> 00:32:45,401
Speaker 2: vulnerability and trust. They all just feed into each other.

863
00:32:45,601 --> 00:32:46,441
Speaker 2: I still want to live my.

864
00:32:46,401 --> 00:32:48,801
Speaker 1: Life like thinking the worst of everyone. I'd rather assume

865
00:32:48,841 --> 00:32:51,641
Speaker 1: the best and do something happens later.

866
00:32:52,201 --> 00:32:55,681
Speaker 2: So when you stipped away from your active whips, like

867
00:32:55,801 --> 00:33:00,041
Speaker 2: that's a bold call, I know, Like I mean that

868
00:33:00,161 --> 00:33:01,361
Speaker 2: came after obviously the.

869
00:33:01,321 --> 00:33:03,281
Speaker 1: Aneurysm and that wake up moment.

870
00:33:04,001 --> 00:33:05,721
Speaker 2: But you know, once the sittled and sort of you

871
00:33:05,721 --> 00:33:07,681
Speaker 2: found out you were going to be okay, is.

872
00:33:07,681 --> 00:33:08,801
Speaker 3: There a part of you it was like, I can't

873
00:33:08,801 --> 00:33:09,321
Speaker 3: give that up.

874
00:33:09,361 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 1: Like money you were doing wasn't doing as well as

875
00:33:12,481 --> 00:33:14,401
Speaker 1: what it did at the start, And that's why I

876
00:33:14,441 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 1: reflected too. I was like, I haven't been happy this

877
00:33:17,121 --> 00:33:19,921
Speaker 1: last year. I don't reckon. I wasn't wanting to go

878
00:33:19,961 --> 00:33:21,721
Speaker 1: to work. I didn't feel super aligned. I felt like

879
00:33:21,761 --> 00:33:23,761
Speaker 1: I was just on this hamster wheel. I didn't want

880
00:33:23,761 --> 00:33:25,241
Speaker 1: to put as much energy into it. So I wasn't

881
00:33:25,241 --> 00:33:27,121
Speaker 1: doing as well as what it used to when I

882
00:33:27,201 --> 00:33:31,561
Speaker 1: first started it. But yeah, definitely made money, it provided jobs,

883
00:33:31,641 --> 00:33:34,281
Speaker 1: it was significance, it was gross, it ticked a lot

884
00:33:34,281 --> 00:33:37,521
Speaker 1: of boxes, but it just didn't feel good anymore. Like

885
00:33:37,561 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 1: the podcast makes nothing compared to what that made. Yeah,

886
00:33:40,241 --> 00:33:42,321
Speaker 1: like nothing, But in the same breath, it's like what

887
00:33:42,401 --> 00:33:43,401
Speaker 1: I value value?

888
00:33:44,321 --> 00:33:45,961
Speaker 3: What is success and happiness to you?

889
00:33:46,121 --> 00:33:48,841
Speaker 1: Freedom? Freedom, freedom to be who I want to be,

890
00:33:49,041 --> 00:33:50,801
Speaker 1: to do things with the people that I love when

891
00:33:50,801 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: I want to, however much I want to. Freedom with

892
00:33:52,761 --> 00:33:54,801
Speaker 1: my kids, freedom to go on stay care with my husband.

893
00:33:55,201 --> 00:33:57,241
Speaker 1: Freedom to speak about what I want to speak about,

894
00:33:57,521 --> 00:34:00,241
Speaker 1: which I didn't have that bright running those businesses. Yes,

895
00:34:00,281 --> 00:34:02,001
Speaker 1: the podcast is so much freedom.

896
00:34:02,241 --> 00:34:04,401
Speaker 3: I mean, you look happy. I was so happy. You

897
00:34:04,521 --> 00:34:05,121
Speaker 3: look happy.

898
00:34:05,241 --> 00:34:07,721
Speaker 1: So I think that's that happiness glow. Yeah, and I guess.

899
00:34:07,761 --> 00:34:09,881
Speaker 2: So now moving forward, if you look at the next

900
00:34:09,961 --> 00:34:12,881
Speaker 2: you know, twenty years of your life, you might continue

901
00:34:12,921 --> 00:34:14,801
Speaker 2: to do podcast seeing and do Hideaway. Is there anything

902
00:34:14,841 --> 00:34:16,601
Speaker 2: else that you've got, like a burning desire? Or is

903
00:34:16,601 --> 00:34:18,401
Speaker 2: it giving the game away too much? Or I don't

904
00:34:18,401 --> 00:34:20,561
Speaker 2: think I'll do hide Away forever. I'm looking at stepping

905
00:34:20,601 --> 00:34:22,561
Speaker 2: out of that. Yeah, probably in the next six months.

906
00:34:22,801 --> 00:34:24,441
Speaker 2: Oh okay, Yeah, my husband.

907
00:34:24,161 --> 00:34:26,601
Speaker 1: Wi continue running it. Okay, Yeah, he will continue running it.

908
00:34:26,681 --> 00:34:28,041
Speaker 1: I love it. We've had it for eight years. My

909
00:34:28,121 --> 00:34:31,161
Speaker 1: mum started and it's like a family business. It's special, okay,

910
00:34:31,281 --> 00:34:34,641
Speaker 1: but it's not my passion yes, I love the marketing,

911
00:34:34,721 --> 00:34:37,481
Speaker 1: I love the products, but my heart's in she rises.

912
00:34:37,601 --> 00:34:40,641
Speaker 1: So I hopefully just continue the podcast, doing lots more

913
00:34:40,681 --> 00:34:43,481
Speaker 1: retreats and travel and keep developing myself and just showing

914
00:34:43,521 --> 00:34:44,841
Speaker 1: up and being the best mum. I camp for my

915
00:34:44,921 --> 00:34:47,161
Speaker 1: kids and help guide them through their life journey and

916
00:34:47,201 --> 00:34:49,361
Speaker 1: all their hard times, which I'm sure there's plenty of

917
00:34:49,361 --> 00:34:49,921
Speaker 1: it coming up.

918
00:34:50,281 --> 00:34:53,801
Speaker 2: Yeah, but no, it's a beautiful testament to like, you

919
00:34:53,881 --> 00:34:56,481
Speaker 2: have had an amazing life but also a lot of

920
00:34:56,521 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 2: heart challenges and adversity, and I just I don't think

921
00:34:59,561 --> 00:35:01,961
Speaker 2: sadly and this is why so for resilience, I always

922
00:35:01,961 --> 00:35:04,761
Speaker 2: talk about the obstacles being the path. You cannot avoid them. No,

923
00:35:05,321 --> 00:35:07,001
Speaker 2: it's just that you said to accept that they're going

924
00:35:07,041 --> 00:35:08,881
Speaker 2: to come, and more will come. Different things will come

925
00:35:08,921 --> 00:35:11,321
Speaker 2: up and you've got to traverse them. But gee, it

926
00:35:11,361 --> 00:35:13,201
Speaker 2: s there's a lot for you know, leaning into those

927
00:35:13,241 --> 00:35:15,361
Speaker 2: challenges and doing the work on yourself. Like, yeah, I

928
00:35:15,361 --> 00:35:17,441
Speaker 2: think it's amazing. I think you're a great example of

929
00:35:17,561 --> 00:35:20,961
Speaker 2: someone who's very self aware. And I would say that

930
00:35:21,201 --> 00:35:22,761
Speaker 2: the boldness that you've got anything could come.

931
00:35:22,801 --> 00:35:23,721
Speaker 3: You could do whatever you want to do.

932
00:35:23,801 --> 00:35:23,921
Speaker 2: Right.

933
00:35:23,961 --> 00:35:26,241
Speaker 1: I feel like that that I really feel like that,

934
00:35:26,281 --> 00:35:28,201
Speaker 1: and especially the last six months, I'm like the whole

935
00:35:28,201 --> 00:35:30,881
Speaker 1: world's my oyster. I'm thirty six, thirty seven. I know

936
00:35:30,921 --> 00:35:33,001
Speaker 1: you said you feel old. I feel like shit because

937
00:35:33,041 --> 00:35:34,721
Speaker 1: my co host is ten years younger than me too.

938
00:35:35,121 --> 00:35:37,921
Speaker 1: Damn wait till you get to forty something else happens

939
00:35:37,921 --> 00:35:39,521
Speaker 1: in You have to be careful not to say like

940
00:35:39,561 --> 00:35:41,241
Speaker 1: it's too late, I'm too old. I'm just like, I'm

941
00:35:41,281 --> 00:35:43,401
Speaker 1: only thirty six. There's so much life ahead of me,

942
00:35:43,441 --> 00:35:45,121
Speaker 1: you know. I hate to say I'm only forty three.

943
00:35:45,121 --> 00:35:47,440
Speaker 1: At times, Yeah, I'm good. Divorce like five years ago

944
00:35:47,521 --> 00:35:49,601
Speaker 1: and your life starts again. It's sort of thirty nine

945
00:35:49,641 --> 00:35:51,881
Speaker 1: and changing it. And for some people they've written you

946
00:35:51,921 --> 00:35:55,481
Speaker 1: off righteah, thirty five. I read someone the other day.

947
00:35:55,321 --> 00:35:57,601
Speaker 2: That gin Z are sort of like thirty five pluses old.

948
00:35:58,201 --> 00:36:01,121
Speaker 2: I'm like rough, what am I in geriatric stage? But

949
00:36:01,561 --> 00:36:03,801
Speaker 2: the biggest lesson for people is it is near but

950
00:36:03,921 --> 00:36:04,281
Speaker 2: too late.

951
00:36:04,441 --> 00:36:05,721
Speaker 3: What's the worstick can happen?

952
00:36:05,841 --> 00:36:06,161
Speaker 1: Literally?

953
00:36:06,401 --> 00:36:06,841
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

954
00:36:07,201 --> 00:36:09,641
Speaker 1: All the fear is before you leap, so she's not

955
00:36:09,641 --> 00:36:11,161
Speaker 1: when you leap, right, So true?

956
00:36:11,521 --> 00:36:14,161
Speaker 2: You know, it's like skydiving, like you petrified and like

957
00:36:14,201 --> 00:36:16,241
Speaker 2: the day sitting up and questioning why you ever did it?

958
00:36:16,281 --> 00:36:20,161
Speaker 2: And sit every skydi No, I literally didn't sleep for

959
00:36:20,201 --> 00:36:22,761
Speaker 2: three days. Why I agree that sounded like a good idea.

960
00:36:23,121 --> 00:36:25,321
Speaker 2: Get up in the plane. I'm actually terrified of flying

961
00:36:25,361 --> 00:36:28,041
Speaker 2: to sitting in this plane and this door open. And

962
00:36:28,081 --> 00:36:30,161
Speaker 2: then you're just like, this is the dumbest.

963
00:36:29,761 --> 00:36:31,281
Speaker 3: Decision I've ever made in life.

964
00:36:32,401 --> 00:36:34,161
Speaker 2: And I can't say I'll do it again because it

965
00:36:34,281 --> 00:36:37,241
Speaker 2: was absolutely there. But at the moment you fall out,

966
00:36:37,761 --> 00:36:38,521
Speaker 2: you realize that all the.

967
00:36:38,521 --> 00:36:39,281
Speaker 3: Fear was beforehand.

968
00:36:39,321 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 1: It was never about the job.

969
00:36:41,161 --> 00:36:43,161
Speaker 2: And you know, It's why I'm like for most people,

970
00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:43,921
Speaker 2: I'm like, you get.

971
00:36:43,801 --> 00:36:44,481
Speaker 1: Us one life.

972
00:36:44,521 --> 00:36:46,521
Speaker 3: You know, my mother passed away when I was thirty five,

973
00:36:46,561 --> 00:36:48,801
Speaker 3: and and I look at it, life's got a short time.

974
00:36:48,961 --> 00:36:51,641
Speaker 1: I think about when I'm eighty and on my deathbed,

975
00:36:51,881 --> 00:36:53,761
Speaker 1: I would hate to look back and go, why did

976
00:36:53,881 --> 00:36:55,601
Speaker 1: I do that? Because I was worried what Sally Undercore

977
00:36:55,681 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 1: ninety eight was saying about me, like, no way, you're

978
00:36:58,441 --> 00:37:01,601
Speaker 1: not writing my book. I'm going to be in the

979
00:37:01,681 --> 00:37:03,561
Speaker 1: driver's seat and I'm going to do everything for myself.

980
00:37:03,561 --> 00:37:04,921
Speaker 1: No one else is going to be in control of that.

981
00:37:05,401 --> 00:37:06,841
Speaker 1: I'd hate to look back and say, oh, I wish

982
00:37:06,841 --> 00:37:08,281
Speaker 1: I did that trip, or I wish I said yes this,

983
00:37:08,401 --> 00:37:10,001
Speaker 1: I wish I tried that. I want to look back

984
00:37:10,001 --> 00:37:12,481
Speaker 1: and be like, fuck, I lived, really gave things to go.

985
00:37:12,641 --> 00:37:14,601
Speaker 1: Might it all worked out? But they got I tried.

986
00:37:14,841 --> 00:37:17,161
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's the gift of our generation.

987
00:37:17,521 --> 00:37:19,401
Speaker 2: This generation is it? But before that was never really

988
00:37:19,441 --> 00:37:22,281
Speaker 2: talked about. Yah, social security, do the right thing? Just

989
00:37:22,521 --> 00:37:26,321
Speaker 2: now certainty the bill do what makes you happy? How

990
00:37:26,401 --> 00:37:28,761
Speaker 2: lucky for our kids. I actually quite like that. It's

991
00:37:28,801 --> 00:37:30,601
Speaker 2: definitely been the shift. So if you can go in

992
00:37:30,681 --> 00:37:33,081
Speaker 2: with a bold mindset and take the leap, because you know,

993
00:37:33,161 --> 00:37:35,041
Speaker 2: what do you have to lose? But it's learning how

994
00:37:35,081 --> 00:37:37,681
Speaker 2: to navigate the challenges they come. It is in the story, right.

995
00:37:37,721 --> 00:37:39,961
Speaker 1: I bet you have never interviewed a successful I've never

996
00:37:40,041 --> 00:37:42,361
Speaker 1: known a successful person that hasn't had shit happened to them.

997
00:37:42,561 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 1: That's why they're successful. It's built the resilience and makes

998
00:37:45,441 --> 00:37:47,801
Speaker 1: them brave. They have to step up, they can't fall

999
00:37:47,841 --> 00:37:50,041
Speaker 1: back on anyone. They're the people that we look up to.

1000
00:37:50,321 --> 00:37:52,241
Speaker 1: But we think that's just been handed to them. It's

1001
00:37:52,281 --> 00:37:52,801
Speaker 1: not the case.

1002
00:37:53,121 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 2: Never never, never, And you know the most successful people

1003
00:37:56,521 --> 00:37:58,841
Speaker 2: all have their own doubts at nighttime you're a now

1004
00:37:59,081 --> 00:38:00,881
Speaker 2: nighttime voice, but in a crediting it.

1005
00:38:00,921 --> 00:38:05,401
Speaker 3: Yes it's normal, so they doesn't proceed up.

1006
00:38:05,441 --> 00:38:07,481
Speaker 2: It's money, it's h all those kind of worries that

1007
00:38:07,481 --> 00:38:08,481
Speaker 2: people have that come through it.

1008
00:38:08,561 --> 00:38:10,241
Speaker 3: But no, I think it's been really inspirational.

1009
00:38:10,441 --> 00:38:12,361
Speaker 2: So I've got a couple of questions that I like

1010
00:38:12,441 --> 00:38:14,761
Speaker 2: to kind of finish on, if that's all right. So

1011
00:38:14,841 --> 00:38:17,001
Speaker 2: if you could go back to one version of yourself,

1012
00:38:17,041 --> 00:38:18,681
Speaker 2: so probably sixteen year old, because I'd have been a

1013
00:38:18,721 --> 00:38:21,161
Speaker 2: big time checking out, what would you whisper in her

1014
00:38:21,201 --> 00:38:25,121
Speaker 2: ear that might have changed the last seventeen years.

1015
00:38:25,121 --> 00:38:26,841
Speaker 1: Just that everything's going to be okay and just have

1016
00:38:26,921 --> 00:38:29,521
Speaker 1: your own back. You've got this not to stress, and

1017
00:38:29,561 --> 00:38:32,401
Speaker 1: everything's happening for you. You might not know straight away,

1018
00:38:32,441 --> 00:38:33,761
Speaker 1: but know that it's going to be a reason why

1019
00:38:33,841 --> 00:38:36,121
Speaker 1: you have to go through this. It's going to serve you.

1020
00:38:36,481 --> 00:38:38,721
Speaker 1: I think it would have made the icky times not

1021
00:38:38,761 --> 00:38:40,441
Speaker 1: so eeky because I knew there's a purpose behind it,

1022
00:38:40,481 --> 00:38:42,161
Speaker 1: because I just thought I was always going to suffer

1023
00:38:42,281 --> 00:38:45,281
Speaker 1: and like the universe hates me. I mean I'm not unlucky.

1024
00:38:45,361 --> 00:38:46,681
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, actually it's a really bit of a

1025
00:38:46,681 --> 00:38:48,201
Speaker 2: crazy question because at the end of the day, you

1026
00:38:48,321 --> 00:38:51,441
Speaker 2: can't do that, and she needed to learn all I did.

1027
00:38:51,641 --> 00:38:54,481
Speaker 1: I had so many lessons I needed to learn. Yeah. Yeah.

1028
00:38:54,721 --> 00:38:56,721
Speaker 2: Was there ever an opportunity that's come up in life

1029
00:38:56,721 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 2: that you said no to but you wish you said yes?

1030
00:38:58,801 --> 00:39:01,681
Speaker 1: Speaking events? Yeah? Yeah, even this interview, I was like,

1031
00:39:01,681 --> 00:39:03,161
Speaker 1: I said to Katie, I'm not I'm not the right

1032
00:39:03,161 --> 00:39:04,841
Speaker 1: person for that. Why would you say that? Because I

1033
00:39:04,841 --> 00:39:06,761
Speaker 1: thought it was like going to be about business. I'm like, oh,

1034
00:39:06,801 --> 00:39:09,121
Speaker 1: but Steve's a smart onelet's said to it.

1035
00:39:10,321 --> 00:39:12,881
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean I interviewed people who have businesses.

1036
00:39:13,041 --> 00:39:14,521
Speaker 1: Yeah, but at the end of the day, that's the

1037
00:39:14,561 --> 00:39:16,921
Speaker 1: why does she want interview me? Yeah. So it's just

1038
00:39:16,961 --> 00:39:18,761
Speaker 1: like there's still that I suppose is at my own

1039
00:39:19,001 --> 00:39:21,681
Speaker 1: knowing my worth? Yes, you know that I'm worthy of

1040
00:39:21,721 --> 00:39:23,121
Speaker 1: having a voice that still pops up.

1041
00:39:23,241 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 3: Yes.

1042
00:39:23,921 --> 00:39:26,161
Speaker 2: And it's like there's a line, right, someone said it

1043
00:39:26,161 --> 00:39:28,641
Speaker 2: to me. His name's Will Packard. You know that he's

1044
00:39:28,681 --> 00:39:31,960
Speaker 2: a producer in America and Mile Robbins interviewed him. He's

1045
00:39:31,961 --> 00:39:34,721
Speaker 2: got a book that said who better than you? Of

1046
00:39:34,881 --> 00:39:37,281
Speaker 2: just like he said, if I said to you, actually

1047
00:39:37,401 --> 00:39:40,961
Speaker 2: who deserves success more than you do? When you can

1048
00:39:41,001 --> 00:39:42,801
Speaker 2: say no, one deserves it more than I do. Yeah,

1049
00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:45,521
Speaker 2: it's like a really amazing place, right. It's something to

1050
00:39:45,521 --> 00:39:47,201
Speaker 2: do with arrogance, but it's a good version of arrogance.

1051
00:39:47,241 --> 00:39:48,721
Speaker 2: It's like you've got to have enough that you go, yeah,

1052
00:39:48,761 --> 00:39:51,961
Speaker 2: I'm worth talking. Yes, there's a bit different from I'm cocky.

1053
00:39:52,001 --> 00:39:55,201
Speaker 2: There's a bit of difference and his ego behind it. Yes, Yeah,

1054
00:39:55,241 --> 00:39:57,641
Speaker 2: I think anyone who iss to like, oh, gets that hesitation.

1055
00:39:57,761 --> 00:39:59,801
Speaker 2: You're not a cocky person, so you know you can

1056
00:39:59,921 --> 00:40:02,481
Speaker 2: lean into it. Yeah, it doesn't matter what business you do.

1057
00:40:02,761 --> 00:40:04,761
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, this is human behavior

1058
00:40:05,441 --> 00:40:09,121
Speaker 2: transcends industry, and there's so many valuable nuggets to learn

1059
00:40:09,161 --> 00:40:09,561
Speaker 2: from you.

1060
00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:10,721
Speaker 1: And I think that's awesome.

1061
00:40:10,881 --> 00:40:13,241
Speaker 2: And you know, yes, I know you have your Instagram

1062
00:40:13,241 --> 00:40:15,561
Speaker 2: and your TikTok and your podcasts, and that inspires lots

1063
00:40:15,561 --> 00:40:17,161
Speaker 2: of women. But I also think that the people who

1064
00:40:17,241 --> 00:40:18,601
Speaker 2: listen a lot to mind, which.

1065
00:40:18,401 --> 00:40:19,161
Speaker 1: Are in business.

1066
00:40:19,681 --> 00:40:20,441
Speaker 3: This is motivating.

1067
00:40:20,441 --> 00:40:22,361
Speaker 1: It's motivating, babe. So I love it. I hope so,

1068
00:40:22,481 --> 00:40:24,481
Speaker 1: I hope it lands for everyone. Yes, it's awesome, So

1069
00:40:24,481 --> 00:40:26,041
Speaker 1: thank you. I look forward to seeing where you go.

1070
00:40:26,281 --> 00:40:32,481
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for me now amazing welcome, Thank you, Bye,