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Speaker 1: And Whipper.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, Welcome to the fifty and Whipper podcast. Hello?

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Speaker 2: Are we on these?

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Speaker 3: You know? They turned on? I can see them all

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Speaker 3: the light there.

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Speaker 2: Is doing this, But I don't know what this thing

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Speaker 2: is in front of me. This stick.

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Speaker 3: It records the voice which can instruct on things like

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Speaker 3: the podcast on.

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Speaker 2: Using it to get dog pull out the bottom of mushard.

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Speaker 3: No, it was a stick. Don't tell the engineers. It's

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Speaker 3: not a stick here.

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Speaker 1: No, this is a really special one because this is

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Speaker 1: all the unheard stuff and the best bits of the

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Speaker 1: fifty and Shark.

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Speaker 3: How longs it go for? I know this podcast if

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Speaker 3: it's the best bit, it's got three days about twenty

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Speaker 3: one minutes?

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Speaker 1: Is that all the best?

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Speaker 3: And that's really I really did have to scrape it together?

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Speaker 3: What are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: Unheard stuff?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, mid the scene. Remember when I told that

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Speaker 3: joke off air about three years ago. It was quite funny.

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Speaker 3: Did you get that?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 3: I lost that in the rubbish spin. Okay, well I

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Speaker 3: don't know what's on it then. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Also, if you want to go check out all our

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Speaker 1: socials fitting in Instagram account, our Facebook page as well.

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Speaker 2: We've got a TikTok account as well. You can go

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Speaker 2: check those out.

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Speaker 3: And I love TikTok.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I tell you what, this is a no brainer

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Speaker 2: for a current affair.

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Speaker 1: But welfare sheets Dog Dodgy Yeah, well geez, I love

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Speaker 1: that sting. Isn't it the best you can? Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: a good one too. You could say anything. Matt Degroots

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Speaker 1: Love History, Dodgy. Yeah, it's brilliant, isn't it. Tom Ivy

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Speaker 1: Peeping Tom What Sarah McGilvray The Bell of Bathurst.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's my escape to Mike in the clear.

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Speaker 1: Done, Michael Whippley The Ducks of Devastations.

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Speaker 3: And Dodgy and Dodgy. Oh that was great.

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Speaker 2: We finished out the show.

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Speaker 1: You got to So this is the headline of this story.

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Speaker 1: Read the shocking resume that Doull Bloodgers are sending to

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Speaker 1: employers so they can continue rauting center Like, wow, so

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Speaker 1: you've got to apply for if you're getting your welfare payments,

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Speaker 1: you've got to apply for twenty jobs.

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Speaker 3: Now, I would say that's in a month. Twenty jobs

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Speaker 3: in a month. Yep.

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Speaker 2: You've got to have a crack with it.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 1: Some companies have actually dubbed these people in and said,

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Speaker 1: this is some of the stuff that we're receiving with

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Speaker 1: their job applications and their resumes.

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Speaker 3: So this is because they don't actually want them.

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Speaker 1: They don't want the job, mate, They just want the

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Speaker 1: payments and they want to get through.

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Speaker 3: And I told you before.

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Speaker 1: I had mates that I grew up with that you

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Speaker 1: used to back in those days you had to apply

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Speaker 1: for two jobs every fortnight to get your payment, right,

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Speaker 1: and they used to. I had mates that would write

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Speaker 1: down center Link and they'd go, well, you know well,

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Speaker 1: and they go, well, you can't put down Centrelink. And

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Speaker 1: I'll go, well, you guys don't give me a job.

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Speaker 1: I apply for it every week. Every week I come

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Speaker 1: in here to get my payment, and I say, why

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Speaker 1: don't you guys give me a job.

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Speaker 3: They go, well, we don't have any jobs going at

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Speaker 3: the moment.

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Speaker 2: Well I've applied.

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Speaker 1: Amazing and.

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Speaker 2: Absolute song.

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Speaker 1: I mean, people are just writing stuff like this. I

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Speaker 1: would love to get a job with your company, but

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Speaker 1: I don't have a resume atmom.

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Speaker 3: Here's another one.

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Speaker 1: Hi, I'm fulfilling my job seeker requirements by applying for

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Speaker 1: this role.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: That was it. That's it.

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Speaker 1: That's the job application here's an anti vaxx's a firing

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Speaker 1: up as well. Here's a job application that was sent

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Speaker 1: through to a company to whom it may concern. I

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Speaker 1: was a hard and honest essential worker until the government

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Speaker 1: mandated that I should not work without taking an experiment

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Speaker 1: drug and relinquishing power over my own body. In order

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Speaker 1: to maintain the measly amount that I receive in Sinnelink payments,

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Speaker 1: I must apply for twenty jobs per month, even though

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Speaker 1: it is unlikely that an employer could.

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Speaker 2: Put me on.

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Speaker 3: Sorry for wasting your time in advance.

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Speaker 1: Shut See, other people are writing stuff like I'm a

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Speaker 1: part time university student that only has two casual jobs

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Speaker 1: and could not accept another job or else I would

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Speaker 1: lose my center Link payments.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, okay, but here's my application.

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Speaker 2: Here's another one. They're actually going for jobs.

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Speaker 1: So a woman who has worked as a cleaner before,

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Speaker 1: she's applying for jobs that's way way out of her depth.

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Speaker 1: She applied for an engineering position. Position and she just

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Speaker 1: sent in a resume with all cleaning background cleaning for

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Speaker 1: twenty years. But I think I'd make a great head engineer.

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Speaker 1: I didn't get it, no way.

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Speaker 3: Come on, now, I always said Sean. There's another one here.

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Speaker 1: Someone's gone for a sheet metal worker position even though

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Speaker 1: they had experience as a babysitter. I think it might

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Speaker 1: be a brain surgeon tomorrow. I mean, there are people

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Speaker 1: out there that are doing this.

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Speaker 3: You know what it's been.

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Speaker 2: Who was the.

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Speaker 1: Family over the year. He's on a current affair with

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Speaker 1: one family with.

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Speaker 3: The purple hair and there was like three kids and

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Speaker 3: then they couldn't get a job, complained, set a link

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Speaker 3: and then on a current affair they got a job

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Speaker 3: for them and then the job said you're going to

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Speaker 3: have to cut your hair. No want the job, not

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Speaker 3: getting a job.

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Speaker 1: One of the most hated families in Australia for a while,

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Speaker 1: there wasn't it because of current affair.

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Speaker 3: Would be nothing without them.

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Speaker 1: If you want to put yourself out there like that

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Speaker 1: on television and ruin your reputation, so either do that

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Speaker 1: or married at first sign?

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Speaker 3: Why what do you want to do it? I want

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Speaker 3: to know if eating food has put you in hospital. Now.

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Speaker 3: I don't care if it's what you ain't or how

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Speaker 3: much you ate, but I want to celebrate this woman

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Speaker 3: and I know how this feels. She binged on thirty

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Speaker 3: two sushi rolls at the all you can eat buffet

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Speaker 3: and was rushed to hospital fifty bucks or you can

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Speaker 3: eat sushi at this restaurant.

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Speaker 2: And just can we make one thing clear?

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Speaker 1: So sushi isn't as good for you as a lot

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Speaker 1: of people think it is.

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Speaker 3: Well, it's in the rice paper, the stuff that makes

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Speaker 3: the rice stickier. Yes, it's not that great for you,

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Speaker 3: isn't it? Really? Nice?

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Speaker 1: Is good though? I love sashimi, but I do look

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Speaker 1: at when you go to sushi hup or something like that.

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Speaker 2: I look at that and go, well, that's that's a

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Speaker 2: that's a healthy meal.

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Speaker 3: You can trick yourself into thinking it is by saying

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Speaker 3: I'll have the brown rice option. You can do that,

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Speaker 3: which might be a little bit healthier than the white rice.

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Speaker 2: Not the same.

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Speaker 3: Really, come on, guys, she said, I'm a huge fan

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Speaker 3: of sushi who and her friend wanted to travel to Japan.

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Speaker 3: So to warm up for the trip, she said, why

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Speaker 3: don't we go and try a bit of all you

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Speaker 3: can eat at the sushi buffet? Started off with the

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Speaker 3: mes soup, a nice start, four giosa Jilipino poppas, then

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Speaker 3: move on to eight green dragon rolls, jeez, you're hitting

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Speaker 3: the dragon dragon roll. I don't know what is in

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Speaker 3: a dragon roll. I'm assuming it's spicy. Eight snow rolls.

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Speaker 3: What do you mean by that? Eight California rolls? They're

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Speaker 3: larger than sushi.

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Speaker 1: What's in the California role? Is that crab?

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Speaker 3: Is it a crab or prawn?

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Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's crab.

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Speaker 2: Right, which is uniquely California, isn't it?

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Speaker 3: And then eight soft shell crab rolls. She's doing really

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Speaker 3: well there. Four if you ended up in hospital. Quick

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Speaker 3: personal from me was on a Christmas Day when our

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Speaker 3: grandmother gave us all a tin of Mars bars, had

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Speaker 3: twelve Mars bars, and before lunch I plowed through my

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Speaker 3: twelve Mars bars and then started stealing from the girls.

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Speaker 3: I would have had fourteen to sixteen Mars bars before

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Speaker 3: lunch and spent two hours, quite literally, two hours on

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Speaker 3: the throne or work resting. S view that sent you

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Speaker 3: to hospital that day that you called me. Remember Sunday

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Speaker 3: morning you called me and you'd gone to hospital. You're

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Speaker 3: having a heart attack, a heart attack of stroke, got

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Speaker 3: to the emergency room, had a chicken pine, a Mars bar,

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Speaker 3: fell a lot better got back out there. What to

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Speaker 3: lose flight.

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Speaker 1: Delted creams were the equivalent of oreos here in Australia,

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Speaker 1: but dealted creams were and I went through a whole

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Speaker 1: packet of those, and that made you hospitalize and the

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Speaker 1: vomit looks like he's and cream ice cream.

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Speaker 2: I was unbelievable something about it going again put.

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Speaker 3: It back in the bucket, bringing the goal what food

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Speaker 3: put you in hospital?

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Speaker 6: So basically I was eating eggs and toast only had

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Speaker 6: your spices and it's got gluten minutes. I'm Celiac Julia

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Speaker 6: to Fee. So basically the toast ended at lantapein hospital.

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Speaker 6: I was start dropping, vomiting and then ended up bombing

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Speaker 6: up a bit of you know blogs, I think a

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Speaker 6: toodlining on my stomach and I did some tests and

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Speaker 6: everything came back fine. But it just have really high

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Speaker 6: white cells due to the fact that I ate the

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Speaker 6: toast and stuff. So you reckon it was.

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Speaker 1: When you go to a restaurant, is it really hard

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Speaker 1: for you to pick what you want?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 6: Yespecially like Italian Versus absolutely loves my favorite Italian Yeah,

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Speaker 6: so pasta. Yeah, it can be a bit diffic could

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Speaker 6: at time, but days.

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Speaker 3: So if someone must just think about this for a moment,

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Speaker 3: four Bree, if someone was to say to you you

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Speaker 3: can't eat your favorite food anymore ever, again, wouldn't that

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Speaker 3: be torture? I'm with you, Bree. I mean it has

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Speaker 3: happened to me, but I.

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Speaker 1: Would do you like Do you like the Bree cheese?

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's just your name, But can you eat cheese? Bree?

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Speaker 6: I can eat cheese. I have no allergic reaction to daren.

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Speaker 6: I've tried it and it's not too bad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, any of your friends as well.

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Speaker 1: I mean this would be have snuck a bit of

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Speaker 1: carbohydrates into your meal one day, Bree.

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Speaker 2: Is a bit of a joke, just to see you

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Speaker 2: bring it back.

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Speaker 6: Up, Na, but it'll probably one day.

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Speaker 3: It's not about angle. If you don't want Bree to party,

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Speaker 3: try a couple of these.

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Speaker 1: Let's get her out of it where she goes. She's

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Speaker 1: blowing up rock Star Detectives, New Books, teenagers, If you

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Speaker 1: want to get stuck into this, Adam Hills is your man,

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Speaker 1: the author behind it. We love Hills, he joins us.

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Speaker 2: Now, Adam, it's going to see your face again.

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Speaker 1: And did you get back for Christmas? We know you've

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Speaker 1: had a great career over there with the last week,

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Speaker 1: congratulations Adam. But did you get a chance to come

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Speaker 1: back to Australia and see the family?

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Speaker 5: I did, so I had at that point. I made

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Speaker 5: it home in December. I had been away for seven

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Speaker 5: months last year because I just couldn't get back because

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Speaker 5: of the pandemic. So but I still had to quarantine

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Speaker 5: at home for three days. So my wife said, look,

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Speaker 5: the neighbors are away, we'll go and stay at their place,

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Speaker 5: so you can at least quarantine in the house, but

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Speaker 5: we can't touch you, like so I couldn't hug my kids.

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Speaker 3: Watcher.

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Speaker 5: After a day, my eight year old went, Daddy, I

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Speaker 5: just want to come and quarantine with you. And I

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Speaker 5: was like, well, that's fine, but you won't be able to,

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Speaker 5: like neither of us can leave the house for two days,

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Speaker 5: and she went, oh, no, do you mean we'll just

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Speaker 5: have to eat takeaway and watch movies for two days?

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Speaker 3: That are they?

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Speaker 1: The inspiration behind the book, Adam, is this rockstar Detectives.

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Speaker 2: Can you tell us a bit about it?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: About because my eldest, who was eight at the time,

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Speaker 5: was very concerned one morning in the way that, you know,

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Speaker 5: young kids get concerned about things, and she said, Daddy,

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Speaker 5: I'm really concerned. I don't know if I want to

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Speaker 5: be a rock star or a detective when I grow up.

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Speaker 3: Two very different things. Is she a good singer?

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Speaker 5: She is a good singer, Okay, she loves detective stories.

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Speaker 5: And I said, and I was trying to be, you know, encouraging.

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Speaker 5: So I said, well, maybe you can be both. You

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Speaker 5: can do rock shows at night and you can solve

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Speaker 5: crimes by day. And then we both went, do you

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Speaker 5: know what, that's a really good idea for a book.

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Speaker 5: So she and I then sat down and plotted out

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Speaker 5: this idea of like these two twelve year olds who've

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Speaker 5: just become rock stars. They're doing their first eff tour,

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Speaker 5: but everywhere they go, like a valuable piece of art

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Speaker 5: is stolen, like a vang gooff or something from a

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Speaker 5: local art gallery, but all the evidence looks like they're

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Speaker 5: the ones doing it, so they have to try and

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Speaker 5: work out who's framing them and solve the crimes all

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Speaker 5: the same time. And my daughter and I went, I

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Speaker 5: think we've just written an idea for a kid's book.

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Speaker 3: How good is that?

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Speaker 2: Hills?

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Speaker 3: When you talk about ideas, and obviously you're always on

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Speaker 3: the lookout for the next idea or a book that

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Speaker 3: you want to write, an inspiration many ideas that you've

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Speaker 3: thought were great and then started, and then you got

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Speaker 3: halfway through and went, oh, my god, why did I

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Speaker 3: start this?

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Speaker 5: The best ideas like that when you're a stand up

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Speaker 5: I'll wake up in the middle of the night, like

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Speaker 5: as I'm falling asleep and think, oh, it's a great

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Speaker 5: idea for a comedy bit, and then I'll get my

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Speaker 5: phone out and I'll write it down, and then I'll

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Speaker 5: look at it the next day and it'll be a

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Speaker 5: nons like. It'll be like broccoli, How weird is broccoli?

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Speaker 3: I don't even know what that means for drinking before

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Speaker 3: I went to bed that night, hilarious or hillsy.

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Speaker 2: It is so good to see you, mate.

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Speaker 1: Rock Starter Technives is out now at all good bookstores.

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Speaker 1: It's great to see your face. Appreciate your time. Thanks

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Speaker 1: for coming on the show. Yeer's my.

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Speaker 3: Let me see that. That's right, guys, I give you

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Speaker 3: one word. You got to put it into a song.

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Speaker 3: That is how you get yourself a win for today.

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Speaker 3: Here we go. Guys, are the first one in the

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Speaker 3: warm up round because you can't go out round one.

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Speaker 3: You know the rules. The word is day to Sunday, Bloody, Sunday, Sarah.

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Speaker 4: Well, Sundays Day and d G looking for you.

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Speaker 7: At this stage I accepted Sunday, sir, thank you well,

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Speaker 7: drink on world on Tuesday. We'll make in love by Wednesday.

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Speaker 7: On the Thursday, doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, guys.

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Speaker 3: You're right.

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Speaker 5: It was the warm up.

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Speaker 3: We get it. This is good. Okay, here we go.

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Speaker 3: You can go out this round. The word is top top,

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Speaker 3: sitting on top of the world.

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Speaker 2: I'm on, I'm on.

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Speaker 3: Imagine Dragon World.

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Speaker 1: Yes, imagine Dragon on top of the Daniel John's in

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Speaker 1: the Silver Chair song.

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Speaker 2: Sitting on top of the world. Yeah, no, on.

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Speaker 3: The greatest watching you watch over love on top.

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Speaker 7: Top right, madam, I'm going to give you the silver

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Speaker 7: chair one.

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Speaker 3: This is sitting on top of the world. Delta, good room. Yes,

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Speaker 3: this is what you had said. No, I went with Brandy,

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Speaker 3: Brandy a different version of sitting on top of the world.

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to sing it. Well done.

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Speaker 2: Guys.

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Speaker 3: Are we all through? We're all through? Good news. The

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Speaker 3: word is again again, see you again. Paul Walker song

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Speaker 3: Miley syrh Oh, Hello, I can't wait to see you again.

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Speaker 2: Again and again again and yeah?

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Speaker 3: Is that a oh? I know what you're cold chisel,

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Speaker 3: it's Jimmy Barnes. Yes, stop help him?

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Speaker 4: Sing it again and again again and again and again.

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Speaker 3: Thanks, help it when your love is gone again again again? Wow?

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Speaker 1: Indeed?

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Speaker 2: Thanks?

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Speaker 3: What a reference. I don't even know the name of

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Speaker 3: that song, says is gone and I sang it last week?

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Speaker 3: The song Ryan James, Were you with us for that gone?

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Speaker 3: We say goodbye to Ryan. As we move into the

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Speaker 3: fourth round, the word is hold hold me, hold on closer? Yes,

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Speaker 3: An M. Dg. Yes, your personal friend, The Beatles, hold

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Speaker 3: me like the river Jordan, You hold me and no

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Speaker 3: one went. I want to hold your hand. The Beatles

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Speaker 3: your spot on, says Michael Bubla, living on a prayer.

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Speaker 3: Also hold on?

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Speaker 1: What a song?

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Speaker 3: Okay? Still three in The word is gotta be quick here, lose,

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Speaker 3: lose yourself.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go with Sarah.

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Speaker 3: There what.

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Speaker 1: Losing or not losing my favorite game by the Cardigan.

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Speaker 3: Then you got.

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Speaker 1: Ye, lose, lose, lose my mind?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what's that looking at over? Oh no, my mind,

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Speaker 3: don't tell me you just lose yourself Yesterday says we

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Speaker 3: could have gone with like I'm going to lose you,

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Speaker 3: the John Legend and Meghan Train a soul the group.

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Speaker 1: Dean Lewis has a song called lose My Mind.

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Speaker 2: Your Best.

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Speaker 3: That is heartbreaking. Lose control, Missy Elliott.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's a great song.

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Speaker 3: Sarah mcgillbr that is it.

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Speaker 1: We love this man, absolutely adore him and you can

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Speaker 1: well you can catch the Mush on seven News on

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Speaker 1: the weekends and the host of the Latest on seven

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Speaker 1: News as well, and we always get him on the show.

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Speaker 1: It's Mike.

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Speaker 3: I Wow, Wow, good rap, good morning everyone.

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Speaker 1: All right, this is headline off. I'll give you a

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Speaker 1: topical story. You too have to give us your best.

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Speaker 1: Headline is up against Maddie.

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Speaker 3: To grew well Jos to read out headlines. He's not

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Speaker 3: that great at it. I gets it right sometimes.

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Speaker 5: Michael sure is it about to rip out his fine?

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Speaker 3: Well metaphorically, we're some headlines.

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Speaker 1: Let's do this, Maddie degree you can go. First show

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Speaker 1: Mush how to do it all right? First story, Mum

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Speaker 1: praises twelve year old son for swearing at an elderly

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Speaker 1: woman at the supermarket checkout. Because you know what she

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Speaker 1: deserved it. Okay, mum praises a twelve year old for

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Speaker 1: swearing at an old lady.

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Speaker 4: Best headline, That sort of language is very grotesque. Kid's

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Speaker 4: only place is the seven news desk.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I can see that.

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Speaker 1: It's time grotesque has been put into a headline as

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Speaker 1: well Undergrounright Marsh best headlines.

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Speaker 5: Dropping f bombs that are granny as a low blow

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Speaker 5: probably something the kid learned from this show.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I think.

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00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,440
Speaker 1: I gotta go with Grzo strong shung out of the gate.

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Speaker 3: That's a massive call.

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Speaker 1: This could be his year.

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Speaker 3: Massive. Don't go that far, all.

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00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,520
Speaker 1: Right, Michael Usher, you're up. The second story, the Jamaican

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00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:46,040
Speaker 1: four man Bob sled team has qualified for the twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty two Winter Olympics. Is only the second time Jamaica

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Speaker 1: represented in the Bob sled. Best headline, go, Jamaica has

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Speaker 1: a Bob Said team and they're short of the liver

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Speaker 1: and playing the role of John.

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Speaker 3: Canned is disappointing. I mean, I've never shot at you.

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00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 3: It's a loan. It's a low, heavy blow.

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Speaker 4: Bringing randoms together that will probably fail is just like

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Speaker 4: this show on an Olympic scale.

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Speaker 3: You're part of the show. You up at the top

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Speaker 3: of the show talking yourself out of a job there

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Speaker 3: to That's definitely Marsha's got that one.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to a tiebreak. In our last story, you

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00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:47,360
Speaker 1: gave first. Last story topical. Matt is recovering from COVID

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00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:51,920
Speaker 1: this week. Matt, the newsreader at Nova is recovering from

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Speaker 1: COVID this week. Best headline.

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Speaker 4: All alone in my room after getting this strain. Remind

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Speaker 4: me of life when I carry a cane.

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Speaker 3: He used to take a cane to formal than Freddie

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Speaker 3: looked great with long tips and it was quite fat

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00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:19,399
Speaker 3: and he couldn't get anybody. Yeah, sad, very You're alive

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Speaker 3: on a real understanding of the show.

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Speaker 4: The headlines about me, guys.

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Speaker 1: The topic is me unless you fall over and die,

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Speaker 1: Marsh you.

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Speaker 5: Matp's COVID diagnosis isn't the best. But Kerry Chant confirms

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Speaker 5: his tested positive to a love rat test.

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Speaker 3: It was an easy love.

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Speaker 2: Him.

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Speaker 3: He's been looking for a love rat test everywhere.

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Speaker 1: You can catch much tonight on the news from six o'clock.

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Speaker 1: Love your Marsch Thanks for coming on, brother.

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Speaker 5: So good to be here, guys. Thank you very much.

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Speaker 3: Mate. The Fitzen Whippers Show is a Nova podcast. For

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00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 3: more great comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast dot com,

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Speaker 3: dot au