Speaker 1: I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.
Speaker 2: She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of
Speaker 2: my kissing style?
Speaker 1: Boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a
Speaker 1: trash bin. He's non recyclable, catching her.
Speaker 2: Mut I love being love. I love love.
Speaker 3: On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we have
Speaker 3: Doctor Tara, sex and relationship expert, to prescribe a hard
Speaker 3: hitting dose of sex advice.
Speaker 4: Doctor Tara hosts her own podcast, Love Bites. She is
Speaker 4: a professor, author, public speaker, and coach. She is here
Speaker 4: to share with you some interesting tips and tricks on
Speaker 4: how to improve your sex game.
Speaker 3: You've asked the questions and we're getting you the answers.
Speaker 4: Stay tuned to hear how to spice up your skills
Speaker 4: in the bedroom.
Speaker 3: Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all
Speaker 3: things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.
Speaker 4: This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,
Speaker 4: intimate details, advice, and much more.
Speaker 1: Hey, doctor Tara, welcome to the show.
Speaker 5: Hello, thanks for having me.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Where's Your Head At? How are you?
Speaker 4: I've just got to say that I love your tiktoks
Speaker 4: I come up with all the time.
Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Matt's constantly sending me your tiktoks and Hayes like, look
Speaker 3: at this, this is hilarious. You really have nailed this tiktoks.
Speaker 3: You're constantly in both of our algorithms.
Speaker 5: Right, great to know.
Speaker 3: So you're a sexpert, right, yes? Are you a certified sexpert?
Speaker 6: I would say yeah, most sexperts don't have a PhD.
Speaker 1: What's the training, Like, how do you get into that field?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 6: So I have a PhD in human communication, but focusing
Speaker 6: on relationships. And when I started studying relationships, I realized
Speaker 6: that the most common issue that long term couples have
Speaker 6: is sex. It's the number one issue. It's the cause
Speaker 6: of argument's, costs of divorce. You know, list is long.
Speaker 6: So ever, since then, I just thought I wanted to
Speaker 6: be a part of the solution of a big problem
Speaker 6: that's going on in the world. So I just chose
Speaker 6: to study sex and I started teaching at cal State
Speaker 6: University Fullerton. So I teach sexual communication and I wrote
Speaker 6: a textbook, Sexual Communication, Research and Action.
Speaker 1: That's amazing.
Speaker 3: So you're teaching lots of students every week they must
Speaker 3: be obsessed with you because they must all follow your
Speaker 3: TikTok as well as we do.
Speaker 6: Yeah, they most of them love my TikTok And actually
Speaker 6: I asked them, like, if any of you want to
Speaker 6: film tiktoks with me, like, feel free to do so,
Speaker 6: just let me know. And some of them actually participate
Speaker 6: it really uh huh.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 3: So, what's the most taboo topic that you've covered with
Speaker 3: your students? And I guess online and with clients.
Speaker 6: I think one of the most taboo topics that people
Speaker 6: think is hard to like except is like non monogamy.
Speaker 6: So it's not even particularly a sex thing. It's not
Speaker 6: like anal or you know, group sex or sploshing. It's
Speaker 6: typically it's the like non monogamy, and like, why monogamy
Speaker 6: might not be the natural thing?
Speaker 1: Is that what you believe?
Speaker 6: My personal belief is that there are many different relational
Speaker 6: dynamics that fits better with people of different personality. So
Speaker 6: there are people with personalities that are great for monogamy.
Speaker 6: There's also people with personalities that are great for open
Speaker 6: marriages right or monogamish a term that Dan Savage coined.
Speaker 6: So it just depends on your personality and how you
Speaker 6: go about life.
Speaker 1: What is monogamish.
Speaker 6: Monogamish is when you're like ninety five percent monogamous and
Speaker 6: like five percent non monogamous. Or another term is you're
Speaker 6: socially monogamous so you only date each other, but you're
Speaker 6: sexually nonalists, so you can have threesomes, you can go
Speaker 6: to sex parties, things like that.
Speaker 4: Is there any monogamish relationships where one partner can be
Speaker 4: monogamous but the other one is free to explore.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I've definitely witnessed that where the couple is
Speaker 6: in a monogamish relationship, meaning two people are allowed to
Speaker 6: explore sexually as long as there's good communication and honesty.
Speaker 6: But then one person just doesn't do it because they
Speaker 6: don't have time, they're not interested. So it really just
Speaker 6: depends on the couple.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So what's the most common reason people come to
Speaker 4: you seeking advice? Do you feel what's the most common compliant?
Speaker 6: So, as a sex coach, most of my clients experience
Speaker 6: similar issues, which is mismatch sexual desires or like sex
Speaker 6: less relationship, sex less marriage, and it's it's quite an epidemic.
Speaker 6: A lot of long term.
Speaker 5: Couples have less and less sex.
Speaker 6: We call it like the three year hump, five year hump,
Speaker 6: and ten year hump. How long have you guys been together?
Speaker 1: We're not together?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I've engaged to my film see Michael.
Speaker 2: So yeah, are you guys in a hump or.
Speaker 3: Are you No, We're not in a hump, but I
Speaker 3: mean in case we do get into a hump, Like,
Speaker 3: what is the remedy to getting over that hump?
Speaker 6: Gosh, there are so many. It just depends on how
Speaker 6: much of a sexual variety you're interested in, because you know,
Speaker 6: you could revamp your whole relationship and attend like a
Speaker 6: sex party together. But then for some people it's like, oh,
Speaker 6: let's just start with handcuffs.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so you know, it.
Speaker 6: Depends on how much of a sexual variety you can
Speaker 6: like explore and embrace in your relationship. But the key
Speaker 6: for these long term relationship humps, the key is simple.
Speaker 5: It's just hard to do and it takes effort.
Speaker 6: The key is to continuously remind each other of how
Speaker 6: grateful you are for one another and to focus on
Speaker 6: each other more because the issue with long term couples
Speaker 6: is they get used to each other, They get too comfortable,
Speaker 6: maybe even get sloppy. And the one thing that I
Speaker 6: have noticed a lot of long term couple's experience is
Speaker 6: they lose desire for the other person completely. They don't
Speaker 6: even find their partner attractive.
Speaker 5: Wow, And it's pretty I mean.
Speaker 6: It's the reality.
Speaker 5: It's pretty hurtful.
Speaker 6: But there are many things that a couple can do,
Speaker 6: like introducing novelty, continuously date each other, focusing on each other,
Speaker 6: making more quality time. So there's many things you can do,
Speaker 6: but you just gotta make sure you put in the effort.
Speaker 4: Yeah to say, and it wouldn't be just a quick
Speaker 4: solve of the like a solution to it, Like you
Speaker 4: can't just say, all right, let's get handcuffs and handcuff
Speaker 4: each other, Like, I think there's a lot of work
Speaker 4: that would need to go into that, a lot of.
Speaker 3: Like absolutely, it's it's definitely scary for someone who's in
Speaker 3: I guess a new ish relationship. So I've been in
Speaker 3: a relationship now for officially about sixteen months, and it's
Speaker 3: scary to think that that's like on the horizon and coming.
Speaker 5: I think the fact that you said that you're most.
Speaker 6: Likely not going to experience it because the fact that
Speaker 6: you said that you're going to care, and the people
Speaker 6: that have this kind of issue they stopped caring.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know you'll be okay, Just last tight little
Speaker 4: number for Michael now and then again that should be
Speaker 4: all right. So you have a podcast. It's called Love Bites.
Speaker 4: Do you want to have to tell a little bit
Speaker 4: about that?
Speaker 5: Yeah, So, long story short.
Speaker 6: When I got a job as a professor, I was
Speaker 6: working towards tenure, and like in the American professoral system,
Speaker 6: becoming a tenure professor is kind of like the highest
Speaker 6: professorship that you can get to. So once I got
Speaker 6: my tenure, I thought, well, you know, what would be
Speaker 6: like a fun, exciting thing to do outside of academia.
Speaker 6: So I started podcasting And then that after I started podcasting,
Speaker 6: I got really good reception, and after that I just
Speaker 6: started my social media. I started my Instagram, I started
Speaker 6: my TikTok and it kind of just went like viral
Speaker 6: from there from TikTok. Yeah, but the podcast is really
Speaker 6: fun because it's all about sex and I interview anyone
Speaker 6: from you know, highly qualified sex therapist or researcher to
Speaker 6: a sex worker or porn star, right, like anyone who
Speaker 6: has sexual experiences to share and even just like an
Speaker 6: amateur couple that had threesome for the first time, who's
Speaker 6: willing to talk about, like play by play what happened,
Speaker 6: how you got there. So it's like it's super interesting
Speaker 6: to me and I feel really lucky.
Speaker 5: It's been like such an amazing reception.
Speaker 3: Wow, I can't wait to listen to this class. That
Speaker 3: sounds incredible.
Speaker 2: You know, I just a young couffle and they've started.
Speaker 3: And Okay, well, doctor Tara, we are going to talk
Speaker 3: to you about spicing up the bedroom next.
Speaker 4: All right, so let's start it off with tell us
Speaker 4: a bit about the male G spot and how to stimulate.
Speaker 1: We're getting deeper daddy straight away.
Speaker 6: Oh, I love the male G spot conversation. So, the
Speaker 6: male G spot is about two inches inside a man's butthole,
Speaker 6: and typically you can experience pleasure through stimulation, some kind
Speaker 6: of stimulation. This could be even not inserting, but like
Speaker 6: massaging the tain area, like by pressing it harder and harder,
Speaker 6: you could feel also the pleasure through there, like taint
Speaker 6: massage is something that is apparently becoming very popular because
Speaker 6: I just did an article on Cosmo about that and
Speaker 6: people are interested.
Speaker 2: Wow, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 6: But then if you want to like move it up
Speaker 6: a notch maybe, which I'm pretty sure your listeners want to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 6: Is to insert inside a man's butthole and kind of
Speaker 6: feel the male g spot from there. It's two inches inside,
Speaker 6: and I mean you can just do finger and move
Speaker 6: it there kind of like the same fingering motion as
Speaker 6: when you would finger a vagina. Or you can also
Speaker 6: do a butt plug, okay, or you can also do
Speaker 6: a strap on.
Speaker 4: Sorry for the ignorance, but is it like so you said,
Speaker 4: it's like a vagiina, so it's up, so you go
Speaker 4: up and turn on it and it's right there.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well there you go, people listening.
Speaker 3: For everyone, For everyone listening, Matt's like fully doing the
Speaker 3: motion to all of us.
Speaker 1: You're getting it, We're.
Speaker 2: Getting real get it.
Speaker 4: Where just trying to figure it out, you know, just
Speaker 4: asking for a friend.
Speaker 5: Would you want to try?
Speaker 2: Yeah, i'd be.
Speaker 4: I've said to before in the podcast that I'm willing
Speaker 4: to try everything and like if that gets you off, yeah,
Speaker 4: that'd be.
Speaker 2: I'd love to try that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I like I like that saying like one of
Speaker 6: my friends taught me, I'll try anything twice that yeah,
Speaker 6: the first time might be bad, but the second time
Speaker 6: might not be.
Speaker 5: So I'll try anything twice.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna steal that expression. I love it.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 1: You mentioned edging before. What's edging?
Speaker 6: Yeah, Edging is basically stimulating yourself until you're like on
Speaker 6: the edge of almost coming, but then you stop so
Speaker 6: you withhold the orgasm and you don't come. And like
Speaker 6: it works for men and women. People think it's just
Speaker 6: for men, Like women itch too.
Speaker 1: Okay, and how does that improve your orgasm?
Speaker 6: So for men, there's literature that shows edging helps with
Speaker 6: premature ejaculation. So the more you practice edging, the more
Speaker 6: you're gonna be able to basically hold the same practice
Speaker 6: when you have sex with someone face to face, like
Speaker 6: in real life.
Speaker 5: So if you.
Speaker 6: Watch porn and you masturbate, like try edging so that
Speaker 6: you don't come too fast, because then when you have
Speaker 6: sex with a person in real life, you might come
Speaker 6: really fast. So that's kind of the recommendation from like
Speaker 6: a lot of male sex.
Speaker 4: Coaches is that like getting right on that vinegar stroke
Speaker 4: and then you're right there and then just holding it.
Speaker 5: Have you done it? Have you guys done it.
Speaker 2: No, I'm gonna try and let you know how I does.
Speaker 1: So just part of my ignorance.
Speaker 3: Do you mean like you almost come and then you
Speaker 3: just fully stop and then just go on with your
Speaker 3: daily life.
Speaker 1: That would be so hard.
Speaker 2: That would take some serious mental strength.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then I guess what you're saying is then the
Speaker 3: next time you are heading towards coming and you actually
Speaker 3: let yourself come, the orgasm is much bigger.
Speaker 1: Is that correct?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 6: It could be that, or it would just be that
Speaker 6: it helps you last longer when you're a man when
Speaker 6: you're a woman. Yeah, it could help you have a
Speaker 6: more impactful orgasm.
Speaker 1: I've got lots of homework.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I love edging.
Speaker 6: Sometimes, Like you know, I will like watch porn or
Speaker 6: listen to erotica and then I'll like masturbate with a
Speaker 6: vibrator and then I would almost come, but then I
Speaker 6: would stop, Wow, just to tease myself a little bit,
Speaker 6: And then you know, I'll sometimes I will resume, and
Speaker 6: sometimes I won't. Sometimes I just go on and go
Speaker 6: teach at a university.
Speaker 1: Does that not cause blue balls for guys?
Speaker 5: It could, but it is a part of the practice.
Speaker 6: Is that mini sex coaches would recommend males who experience
Speaker 6: like premature ejaculation or like sexual anxiety.
Speaker 2: What's your what's your opinion on porn? You say you
Speaker 2: watch it.
Speaker 4: I know that a lot of people in the round
Speaker 4: that we've interviewed before say that they don't.
Speaker 2: Agree with porn. Do you do you agree with watching porn?
Speaker 5: I think porn is rate in moderation.
Speaker 6: I think that it helps people learn, like stimulation, it
Speaker 6: helps people get aroused, it helps couples explore other things.
Speaker 6: But I don't think it's good when you rely on
Speaker 6: it every time. So I know many people that when
Speaker 6: they masturbate, they have to watch porn, cannot masturbate without porn.
Speaker 6: I think when it becomes like a reliance like that,
Speaker 6: just like anything else, like you really shouldn't have to
Speaker 6: rely on anything. So when that's the case, then I
Speaker 6: think it's a problem. However, I don't vilify porn.
Speaker 5: I think it porn.
Speaker 6: It is fine, and I think there's a lot of
Speaker 6: good porn out there, But there's also some shitty porn
Speaker 6: that's like creating anxiety and terrible expectations for people. Because
Speaker 6: you see, like there's a lot of heterosexual porn where
Speaker 6: the man will come in like lift up the skirt
Speaker 6: and like just start fucking and like, you know, I'm like, girl,
Speaker 6: that girl's dry as fun. She was not wet waiting
Speaker 6: for you.
Speaker 4: I was going to say, do you think that at
Speaker 4: watching porn at a young age from maos focks up
Speaker 4: there their perception of sex when it comes to.
Speaker 2: The real deal.
Speaker 6: You know, I'm gonna have to say, yes, it's a bummer,
Speaker 6: but I think, ah, I mean, when you're like fourteen
Speaker 6: and you're watching this type of porn, it's definitely gonna
Speaker 6: set some kind of weird expectations and can cause a
Speaker 6: lot of anxiety when you finally like get a girl
Speaker 6: and like try to.
Speaker 5: Have sex with her.
Speaker 6: However, there's this whole new genre of ethical porn.
Speaker 5: Have you guys ever heard of it?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I have, Yeah, please explain.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So, ethical porn is made with like usually it's everyone's
Speaker 6: paid fairly. Everything is clear and transparent.
Speaker 5: But the main thing.
Speaker 6: Is all the scenes are made realistic, like a real encounter. Yeah,
Speaker 6: So there isn't you know one of these where someone
Speaker 6: like shoots squirt for like ten feet.
Speaker 4: So you're saying that, you're saying the pawns when like
Speaker 4: the doctor comes in and these pat shoes and she
Speaker 4: has a patient.
Speaker 2: Isn't real? You're telling me that that's not going to
Speaker 2: happen to me.
Speaker 5: One day exactly.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 5: So it's like it looks like amateur porn.
Speaker 6: Basically, it's like a real It looks like a real couple,
Speaker 6: and there's a lot of kissing. There's a lot of
Speaker 6: like just heat it and making out, touching, fingering, you know,
Speaker 6: maybe rubbing the booty hole whatever it is.
Speaker 5: There's just like a lot of for play.
Speaker 6: And then the sex is typically very like passionate and
Speaker 6: loving or maybe kinky, but it's never like super violent
Speaker 6: or something like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's super believable.
Speaker 3: Like it almost looks like vlog style kind of thing,
Speaker 3: like you're influence a couple, like just like sometimes they do.
Speaker 1: They're like, I mean this is something I watch.
Speaker 3: They like record their day, and then all of a
Speaker 3: sudden they're just like showing each other some like boom,
Speaker 3: and then all of a sudden they're having sex. And
Speaker 3: it looks really like you're just peering into someone's life almost.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you've spoken a lot about how couple should praise
Speaker 3: their partner during sex or after sex.
Speaker 1: Can you touch on that a little bit.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think we should all compliment our partners more.
Speaker 5: In general.
Speaker 6: I think there is somewhat of a like taking your
Speaker 6: partner for granted after you've been with them like maybe
Speaker 6: one year. So I'm always like a huge supporter of
Speaker 6: continuously giving compliments to your partner, and that includes in bed.
Speaker 6: That's why, like praising them, giving them a lot of
Speaker 6: verbal like just shower them with like verbal orgasms. Yeah,
Speaker 6: is so great. And it's not like, you know, a
Speaker 6: fake one. It's not like, oh my god, your your
Speaker 6: dick is bigger than shag or I mean, I don't
Speaker 6: know how big shacks dick is, but uh, it's like
Speaker 6: real authentic praise. But continuously like doing things like that
Speaker 6: can really remind your partner about how great they are,
Speaker 6: how great of a lover they are. There's also research
Speaker 6: that shows that it improves their sexual self esteem, yeah,
Speaker 6: which is always great in performance and you know sexual wellness.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I find that helps me get off.
Speaker 5: When oh yeah, when you create that, when.
Speaker 4: I hear like yeah, that feels like when they tell
Speaker 4: me that and they say, like, your cock feels so
Speaker 4: good and then I'm just like and literally with the seconds.
Speaker 6: I have a question. What's you guys's favorite praise?
Speaker 1: Praise?
Speaker 2: I love when I get told how big my cock is?
Speaker 5: Yes, I'll do that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I I've Yeah, I've got to admit that's that's
Speaker 4: great when they're they're doing their thing with it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I think like your ask looks
Speaker 1: really good from this angle.
Speaker 5: You're an ask girl.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so when when they got you in life.
Speaker 2: Don't you love that?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What's yours? What's yours?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Mine? Is your pussy feels so good?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I used to get.
Speaker 4: I used to get told my pussy or cox home
Speaker 4: or something, and I look like, what it's where it's
Speaker 4: meant to be?
Speaker 1: Okay, you talk about high quality sex? What is that?
Speaker 6: High quality sex is the type of sex that when
Speaker 6: two people or more are done from sex, they feel
Speaker 6: extremely satisfied and fulfilled. And that's high quality sex. So
Speaker 6: when people ask me, oh, describe, like, give us three
Speaker 6: basically three characteristics of high quality sex, I said, it
Speaker 6: will all be different. For someone who loves anal. Anything
Speaker 6: else that's not anal is not.
Speaker 5: High quality sex. Ok. Right.
Speaker 6: For someone who loves bloshing like splash food all of
Speaker 6: our body and licking it off. Vanilla sex is boring,
Speaker 6: and non splashing sex is not high quality sex. So
Speaker 6: it just so depends on what you're into. If you
Speaker 6: are into sensual loving a lot of kissing and grabbing,
Speaker 6: but your partner is into like kind of more violent, aggressive, tough,
Speaker 6: rough sex, then maybe you have to communicate in order
Speaker 6: to meet in the middle, or have sessions that are
Speaker 6: different rhythm throughout the week so that both people are
Speaker 6: having high quality sex. So there isn't one concrete definition
Speaker 6: for everybody because we all like such different things. Like
Speaker 6: do you guys, do you feel like you are someone
Speaker 6: who feel more turned on by like sensual loving sex
Speaker 6: or more like rough and like aggressive sex.
Speaker 4: I love, Yeah, I love aggressive like a quicky sort
Speaker 4: of like like I that's like a.
Speaker 2: Lot of blokes like that.
Speaker 4: I don't know, but like I like to just get
Speaker 4: in there and like you know, like it's hot, steamy
Speaker 4: and it's you know, yeah.
Speaker 5: Like a spontaneous fuck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love a spontaneous fuck.
Speaker 4: I hate like the one where you've been laying in
Speaker 4: bed and then it's like, oh, like you're a relaxed
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, Like I like to come
Speaker 4: from you.
Speaker 6: You don't want to feel relaxed, Yeah, like I want
Speaker 6: to feel stressed, and.
Speaker 2: Then it's like getting to it.
Speaker 3: Starts the wrong what about your It depends what mood
Speaker 3: I'm in, Like I love like sensual like slow, but
Speaker 3: then it moves into like really fun like quick, just
Speaker 3: like sweaty hot sex.
Speaker 1: You know, like start off.
Speaker 3: Like slow and like lots of foreplay and then move
Speaker 3: into like really like.
Speaker 2: What's full play?
Speaker 6: Are you having quigh quality sex?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Well yeah, look I should probably I should probably
Speaker 4: sit down and probably on some fourth But like I said,
Speaker 4: like you said before, someone's high quality sex is a
Speaker 4: lot different to someone else's. So I said, do you
Speaker 4: find that a lot that a lot of people come
Speaker 4: in and partners and they can't find that middle and
Speaker 4: they can't match their high quality sex? Like is that
Speaker 4: a common Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, it is, especially when your preference isn't traditional. Yeah,
Speaker 6: especially when preference like let's say, if you're a very
Speaker 6: kinky person, like one of the people like Coach is
Speaker 6: a very kinky guy and he's into very very kinky,
Speaker 6: non traditional stuff, that's gonna be tough for you know,
Speaker 6: his wife to adjust like throughout their lifetime. It's gonna
Speaker 6: be hard for someone with like a very particular type
Speaker 6: of desire to continuously have high quality sex. And I
Speaker 6: mean that's just like the reality of it.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 6: If if you're into, for example, and this is not
Speaker 6: my client, but like, if you're into scat play.
Speaker 1: What scat play?
Speaker 5: Playing with poop during sex?
Speaker 2: I thought, sorry, I thought scat I just wanted to double.
Speaker 6: If you're into scat play and that's you're like super
Speaker 6: turned on, You're like, oh, that's just so hot. I
Speaker 6: don't know how many times a week you're gonna be
Speaker 6: able to do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, So then again, you know, back to your point,
Speaker 6: I think, yeah, for some people, especially if your desires
Speaker 6: are somewhat non traditional, it's gonna be a little harder.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Have you always been super sexually open and accepting
Speaker 3: or has this kind of been like an evolution for you?
Speaker 1: Girl?
Speaker 6: It's an extreme evolution. Anyone that knew me, like from
Speaker 6: my previous life is shocked. Really. I was a lot
Speaker 6: more conservative. I was a lot more I would say,
Speaker 6: objective and conservative. And I don't necessarily see sex as
Speaker 6: an important thing. I mean, granted, I was always like
Speaker 6: an you know, horny little kid like I remember being,
Speaker 6: you know, like twelve and like trying to masturbate with
Speaker 6: a bidet, you know, because in Thailand we have Biday.
Speaker 5: Like I come to America, there's no bidet. I'm really sad.
Speaker 6: They all have dirty assholes, but.
Speaker 5: In Thailand we have bidets.
Speaker 6: And I remember using bdet on my clip and I
Speaker 6: just like whoa, what was this?
Speaker 5: And it was twelve and just like excited.
Speaker 6: And I just have always been like a horny girl
Speaker 6: and like inquisitive. But you know, as you grow up
Speaker 6: and you're in this modern society where like sex is taboo,
Speaker 6: you kind of just suppress your interest and you know,
Speaker 6: get off elsewhere or in secret. So I've had just
Speaker 6: done that like throughout my you know, teens and twenties. Basically,
Speaker 6: this is this is new. This is like an evolution
Speaker 6: of I would say the last about like six years,
Speaker 6: I have really gotten into like spirituality and like spiritual awake.
Speaker 6: I started, like you know, doing shrooms and then I
Speaker 6: did ayahuasca for the first time a few years ago,
Speaker 6: and all of that kind of like really changed the
Speaker 6: way I think about myself and how I interact with
Speaker 6: the world. And finally I was able to really like
Speaker 6: speak up and vocalize things that I find important, which
Speaker 6: is sexual wellness. I find it very important. It was
Speaker 6: actually married before when I was young, and you know,
Speaker 6: like I don't want to I never want to talk
Speaker 6: shit about like our marriage or anything like that, but
Speaker 6: everyone knows that, you know, I wasn't sexually fulfilled like ever.
Speaker 6: So that's something that has been going on in my
Speaker 6: life for a long time. So I would say I
Speaker 6: come from a place where I'm like, no more, like
Speaker 6: I'm not going to be this girl where I just
Speaker 6: fake orgasms like just to just so my partner is happy,
Speaker 6: and I don't get anything out of it. I can't
Speaker 6: imagine another you know, like forty years with this.
Speaker 5: Type of sex.
Speaker 6: So yeah, and it's not like just his fault. Any
Speaker 6: when it comes to sex, is never one person's fault.
Speaker 6: Like you know, you're a part of that experience, and
Speaker 6: you're not communicating you and me, like you're not communicating
Speaker 6: your desires, you're not giving them feedback, you're faking an orgasm,
Speaker 6: so they think you're coming. So all of the things
Speaker 6: that I was doing was coming from like such an unconfident.
Speaker 5: Low self esteem place. So I would say I grew
Speaker 5: a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, speaking of faking orgasms, I was on a TV
Speaker 3: show with Matt and on.
Speaker 1: The show, I actually.
Speaker 3: Voice that I would never fake an orgasm. I was like,
Speaker 3: I will never give someone credit for work they haven't done.
Speaker 3: And there was a lot of like people were quite
Speaker 3: shocked by that, Like that was a couple of years
Speaker 3: back in twenty nineteen, and paper were quite surprised that
Speaker 3: I said that, Right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there were Yeah, yeah, because statistically, like half the
Speaker 6: women at least, this is the people that actually report
Speaker 6: the truth. Have the women have faked an orgasm? Right, Like,
Speaker 6: I commend you for like I'm not giving him credit
Speaker 6: for things he's not doing. I feel like I've been
Speaker 6: giving extra credit and all the you know a lot
Speaker 6: of guys that I slept with, which kind of a
Speaker 6: lot that I didn't actually come and I faked an orgasm.
Speaker 6: I feel like I've been giving them extra credit and
Speaker 6: really not helping them in any way because they're probably
Speaker 6: having not such great sex with their current partner. Yeah,
Speaker 6: so I commend you for that because a lot of
Speaker 6: women were trained and socialized to be nice.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what do you think about the orgasm gap then
Speaker 4: that they've been talking about in the media recently about
Speaker 4: how like sex finishes when a man finishes when a
Speaker 4: woman does.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's really sad.
Speaker 6: I mean we were socialized to like, oh, just be nice,
Speaker 6: just lie, white lie, it's a white lie. You know,
Speaker 6: just tell him, just tell him you're done when he's done. Like, oh,
Speaker 6: that was so good.
Speaker 5: No, it wasn't. You know.
Speaker 6: I think all of that plus you know, you know,
Speaker 6: I think plus the fact that like toys and clittoral
Speaker 6: stimulation hasn't been a part of like any type.
Speaker 5: Of sex at talk forever.
Speaker 6: That has a huge impact of women not coming because
Speaker 6: women need clatoral stimulation to come.
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
Speaker 4: Oh, I think bringing a vibrator into the into the
Speaker 4: mix is a godsend.
Speaker 2: It's definitely helps me definitely.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a great mindset.
Speaker 2: Well, I reckon that.
Speaker 4: There's that saying that men that are friends with sex
Speaker 4: toys go to heaven.
Speaker 5: So God, I need a T shirt of this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, a T shirt for any men listening, like they
Speaker 4: are your best friend.
Speaker 2: Don't neglect them. It's so much easier.
Speaker 3: Okay, So let's talk through nipple play because you speak
Speaker 3: a lot about that.
Speaker 1: How can you incorporate this into your routine?
Speaker 6: So I think nipple play is a good for play
Speaker 6: and midplay. And nipple play isn't just like let me
Speaker 6: stuck her nipple a little bit, let me like squeeze
Speaker 6: it a little bit. It's like extended time just focusing
Speaker 6: on the nipples. And because nipples have tons of nerve endings,
Speaker 6: it will help create so much more arousal and basically
Speaker 6: help women get wet more and help get their vagina
Speaker 6: like prepared.
Speaker 5: That's why I always recommend nipple play in for play.
Speaker 6: And this is like, you know, focusing on the nipples,
Speaker 6: maybe you're licking them, sucking, squeezing or just massaging in general,
Speaker 6: and spend a lot of time, like spend like at
Speaker 6: least five minutes on just the nipples.
Speaker 3: I don't know that other people, but my nipples are
Speaker 3: quite sensitive. So like is that something you can overcome?
Speaker 2: I guess nerves?
Speaker 3: Yeah, about you just like push through sensitivity?
Speaker 6: Is it sensitive in a good way or sensitive like
Speaker 6: it hurts?
Speaker 3: It doesn't, but it's just so sensitive and like, ah, you.
Speaker 6: Know how then maybe pushed through you could get nipple orgasm?
Speaker 1: What that's the thing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so like one in three women can get nipple orgasm.
Speaker 6: I mean technically all women can get or nipple orgasm,
Speaker 6: but like that's how many people have reported that they
Speaker 6: have gotten nipple orgasm where you yeah, you get like
Speaker 6: tingly all over your body and like your volva is
Speaker 6: tingly basically an orgasm from nipples.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my mate sat with a girl who had thats
Speaker 4: like the whole time she was asking him.
Speaker 1: Too, I've never heard of this? How how have I
Speaker 1: not heard of this?
Speaker 5: Girl? Men can get nipple orgasm?
Speaker 2: Right? Really?
Speaker 5: Huh wow? Yes?
Speaker 6: Yeah, so I think men can get multiple orgasms through
Speaker 6: like nipples, through of course their penis, taint massage and
Speaker 6: like a little finger or a buttl in their butthole
Speaker 6: like that. They can get multiple orgasms too. Men think
Speaker 6: they can only ejaculate and like come through the penis,
Speaker 6: but there's so many different ways.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then let's talk about squirting, because I feel
Speaker 3: like that's something that can happen and a lot of
Speaker 3: women report, but not a lot of people can achieve.
Speaker 1: Is that correct?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: That's sounds about right, And based on like just me
Speaker 6: talking to so many people, I mean there's I have
Speaker 6: a survey out there, there's like five thousand participants. You know,
Speaker 6: it's it's not something that everyone can focus on to achieve,
Speaker 6: but the functionality, like the parts are there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so how do this? How was it a girl? Focus?
Speaker 2: Aren't so that it happened? How does it happen?
Speaker 6: You know, it's so much harder like talking about it
Speaker 6: versus like showing. This is why there's some educational out there,
Speaker 6: Like there are porn stars that just do educational videos
Speaker 6: where they like will do squirting videos where it's like
Speaker 6: zoomed in super close and there's no like you know,
Speaker 6: it doesn't show like for a play or anything like,
Speaker 6: it's just like technical. And one of them is my
Speaker 6: my friend Kenneth Play and he he makes like he
Speaker 6: does squirting instructional videos and how like meant to make
Speaker 6: a girl squirt and like how to angle the hands
Speaker 6: and the fingers and what it looks like, what the
Speaker 6: valva and the vagina looks like when she squirts, And
Speaker 6: it's basically letting go of the ejaculate in a woman's body.
Speaker 6: And it's not like what porn shows when you see
Speaker 6: when it shoots a ton of water and shoots really far.
Speaker 5: That's urine ya.
Speaker 6: When you just squirt, it's kind of like and you
Speaker 6: can kind of feel a liquid coming out if you're fingering,
Speaker 6: you can feel it in your fingers and hands, and
Speaker 6: she kind of just gets really wet, and it's basically
Speaker 6: ejaculatory orgasm. And in Eastern Or, I guess like tantra teachings,
Speaker 6: which is not something I'm trained in. I'm literally like
Speaker 6: I'm trained scientifically, but like I learned tantra about four
Speaker 6: years ago, and I'm fascinated in tantra teaching. That's like
Speaker 6: almost like the best kind of orgasm because it allows
Speaker 6: the woman's body to like renew the energy, so the stock.
Speaker 5: Energy is gone. Wow, which is like something else.
Speaker 6: It's a little a metaphysical, but it's something that you know,
Speaker 6: it's an old age like teaching, and I find it's
Speaker 6: so fascinating.
Speaker 3: I find tantra so fascinating as well. It's something that
Speaker 3: I've always wanted to do. I know they have like
Speaker 3: you can go to like a tantric teacher and actually
Speaker 3: go there with your partner and they kind of like
Speaker 3: take you through. And it's always something that I've been
Speaker 3: fascinated and interested in doing. I haven't yet booked anything
Speaker 3: in but it's something that I would love to do.
Speaker 1: Report back. Let's talk about.
Speaker 3: Consensual humiliation, something you've spoken about. Can you just take
Speaker 3: us through that.
Speaker 2: It's a real fetish for this, isn't there?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, do you want me to step on your little
Speaker 6: fucking dick?
Speaker 2: Wasn't it was? That was hot?
Speaker 5: Have you been a dirty little whore? You have a
Speaker 5: dirty pussy? Huh? Your little whore? Like, things like that can.
Speaker 6: Work for a lot of people, and you know, I
Speaker 6: give examples here and they're on TikTok just like it
Speaker 6: makes people laugh because they're like, whoa, that's unexpected, But
Speaker 6: a lot of people like enjoy it and psychologically, I mean,
Speaker 6: it turns them on. And you know, men will like
Speaker 6: get a boner from listening to things like that, because
Speaker 6: somehow I don't know that.
Speaker 2: No. I mean, like I said, i I'm open talking.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm real open to anything can really get me going,
Speaker 4: like I love it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hot.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I want to talk about why longer full play does
Speaker 3: increase sexual desire because Matt always jokes about how he
Speaker 3: hates full play, but I feel like we can convince
Speaker 3: him that maybe full play.
Speaker 2: What is his word you keep saying?
Speaker 4: So I once said that I'm going to do I'm
Speaker 4: going to do such a long full play, I'm going
Speaker 4: to root. Four plays can turn into sixteen play square rooting.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So, a lot of women have what is called responsive
Speaker 6: sexual desire, and a lot of men have spontaneous sexual desire.
Speaker 6: Spontaneous sexual desire is when you can get sexually stimulated
Speaker 6: and get aroused quickly. Responsive sexual desire, on the other hand,
Speaker 6: is where you can get aroused later. So that's why
Speaker 6: it takes time for women to get completely warmed up,
Speaker 6: get like wet pussy, and get aroused like, oh I
Speaker 6: want to I want to fuck right. Most women will
Speaker 6: find that in long term relationships they are not able
Speaker 6: to do these like spontaneous sex or quickies as often
Speaker 6: they won't get wet because it's difficult to get aroused quickly. However, uh,
Speaker 6: it doesn't mean they don't get aroused right, they do,
Speaker 6: It just takes time. So for play or basically like
Speaker 6: nipple play, kissing, kissing on the neck, grabbing the legs,
Speaker 6: the thighs, the ass, butt massage, massaging the butthole, and
Speaker 6: then playing with the clip all those things contribute to
Speaker 6: the stimulation that, as a result, help women get more
Speaker 6: turned on, basically help more blood rush to the clip,
Speaker 6: which is now like you know, it's it's taught in
Speaker 6: sexed like, the clip is the penis, and when the
Speaker 6: blood rushes to the clit, it's like getting hard on, Right,
Speaker 6: you want the clit to be stimulated and hard and
Speaker 6: get like bigger.
Speaker 5: It means that she's ready.
Speaker 6: And then another indicator is when she's a little wet
Speaker 6: or somewhat wet or very wet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So like guys can't get like have sex without
Speaker 3: being hard. Women shouldn't have sex without their clip being stimulated, you.
Speaker 6: Know, exactly exactly, And I think, you know, there's also
Speaker 6: no shame in using lube.
Speaker 5: Loop feels great.
Speaker 6: There's some amazing loob out there. So I think at
Speaker 6: the end of the day, if you guys were like,
Speaker 6: let's say, if you were having long extended sexual play
Speaker 6: for one day a week, but you want to have
Speaker 6: you know, quickies two other days a week, you can
Speaker 6: totally use lube as well. Because the cool thing about
Speaker 6: women's bodies, you know, we're just so amazing. The cool
Speaker 6: thing about women's bodies is they can also get into
Speaker 6: it during a penetrate. So if you were like doing
Speaker 6: a quikie and she's like psychologically ready and she's like,
Speaker 6: oh yeah, I want to fuck even though her body
Speaker 6: is not there yet because there's lack of foreplay with
Speaker 6: loop and with like you know, penetration and also like
Speaker 6: platoral stimulation, like at the same time, she could still
Speaker 6: come and like have an orgasm and all of that
Speaker 6: because the woman's body is just amazing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you talk a bit about mutual masturbation. How do
Speaker 4: you think this could spice up things in the bedroom.
Speaker 5: Well, first off, do you guys do a mutual masturbation?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've done it before.
Speaker 3: Not at the moment, no, Yeah, I mean mainly when
Speaker 3: I'm hungover.
Speaker 4: Yeah, way more would just slack, I'll get off and
Speaker 4: then she wouldn't sort of thing I would, but she's
Speaker 4: like nah, so.
Speaker 2: Like I'll play with Yeah.
Speaker 6: I think mutual masturbation is perhaps like a little bit
Speaker 6: more normal, like not normally common, more common for long
Speaker 6: term relationships. From my investigation, like a lot of the
Speaker 6: women will tell me I usually do that when I'm
Speaker 6: on period because like she won't want penetrative sex like
Speaker 6: some women love period sex. I mean I really like
Speaker 6: period sex. My partner not so much. Uh, So we
Speaker 6: will resort to mutual masturbation or like masturbate or like
Speaker 6: hand jobs, so like he will play with my clitterists
Speaker 6: and then I'll like give him a hand job until
Speaker 6: he comes, which works too, so like either a hand
Speaker 6: job or mutual masturbation where he will jerk off, and
Speaker 6: like I play with my clit and then we like
Speaker 6: kind of come together and we can audibly share like moaning.
Speaker 6: Then it's do like a mutual like a good connection
Speaker 6: experience versus just like I go masturbates secretly in the bathroom,
Speaker 6: Like why, it's a beautiful thing. Coming is a beautiful thing.
Speaker 6: Let's come together?
Speaker 1: Yeah absolutely.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, we are going to talk to you more
Speaker 3: about relationships and dating next.
Speaker 4: So let's talk about what your thoughts are on the
Speaker 4: trends and culture of dating in twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2: Mm.
Speaker 6: Wow, So the trend is people want meaningful relationships, but
Speaker 6: they also don't feel like they have to commit in
Speaker 6: a monogamous relationship, so they want meaningful connection without like
Speaker 6: kind of labels.
Speaker 3: Do you think that we'll start to say a lot
Speaker 3: less monogamy in the future.
Speaker 6: Yes, I think we will see less monogamy. I don't
Speaker 6: know if it's a lot, because you know, the world
Speaker 6: moves in a way where you know, there's a natural
Speaker 6: movement to it, and there's a reason why it's only
Speaker 6: practiced by like, you know, a small percentage of.
Speaker 5: People right now.
Speaker 6: But I do think people are becoming more kind of
Speaker 6: open minded to the idea of like I said, monogamoush Like, okay,
Speaker 6: if we go about doing this mindfully, Like I'm down
Speaker 6: to have a threesome, right. A threesome is non monogamous
Speaker 6: because by definition, monogamy means having sex with one person.
Speaker 6: So if you guys participate in threesomes or going to
Speaker 6: sex parties or whatnot, like, that's non monogamy. And I
Speaker 6: think that's why monogamish is like a much easier transition
Speaker 6: than like open marriage or open relationship because you don't
Speaker 6: want to date like a bunch of people at the
Speaker 6: same time when you're super busy. I think that's just
Speaker 6: like facts, right, like if you're running a business this
Speaker 6: and that, like you don't have time to like date
Speaker 6: four people, but do you have time to fuck you do?
Speaker 6: So I think a monogamish will become more.
Speaker 5: And more common.
Speaker 4: Are you monogamous, I'm monogamish, Rash, what's your set up?
Speaker 6: Yeah, Our monogamish is pretty simple, and I think it's
Speaker 6: like the mainstream monogamish, which is we can participate in
Speaker 6: like group sex, Like we can have a.
Speaker 5: Threesome if we talk about it in advance, we.
Speaker 6: Collaboratively pick a person together and maybe they are a friend.
Speaker 6: We can attend sex clubs. We can attend like a
Speaker 6: sex party or swing clubs. We can attend like lifestyle resorts,
Speaker 6: but we typically do things together. We can go to
Speaker 6: Amsterdam and have sex with a sex worker for fun,
Speaker 6: but we typically do things together. And we're socially monogamous,
Speaker 6: so we're getting married as well, and we're just with
Speaker 6: each other in terms of like relationship.
Speaker 3: That's so interesting to me, Like there's just like it's
Speaker 3: your I feel like you're such an open person and
Speaker 3: it's really refreshing to hear you talk because I I
Speaker 3: think we rarely hear people who are so open and
Speaker 3: it's and it's great, I mean it's it's it's super
Speaker 3: interesting to me.
Speaker 5: Thank you so much.
Speaker 6: That means a lot to me, I'm trying to share
Speaker 6: like myself in a way that is authentic and helps
Speaker 6: other people feel more comfortable and not just like talk
Speaker 6: from the textbook. I know a lot of people are
Speaker 6: teaching things that are not they're not doing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you deal a lot with jealousy because I
Speaker 3: just feel like if I'm putting myself into a monogamish
Speaker 3: type of relationship like you've explained, I would be so
Speaker 3: jealous with another dude.
Speaker 6: I think because there's a lot of communication in advance,
Speaker 6: Like if we, you know, go into collaboratively picking a person,
Speaker 6: we have to like make sure there are rules in advance,
Speaker 6: like number one, you know, not spending too much time
Speaker 6: on the third person as much as your partner, but
Speaker 6: also taking care of them right, because like this is
Speaker 6: supposed to be like fun and somewhat like human to
Speaker 6: human like loving experience, even with your third So you know,
Speaker 6: we just have a lot of communication in advance that
Speaker 6: this is like a fun sexual thing that we do together,
Speaker 6: kind of like going to a spin class or golf
Speaker 6: or you know, just a fun things that we do together,
Speaker 6: not necessarily anything that's attached to like loving or being
Speaker 6: in a relationship. With this other person. And that's why
Speaker 6: I think for us, like going to you know, sex
Speaker 6: club or having sex with a sex worker is something
Speaker 6: that is the easiest. And that's what I usually recommend
Speaker 6: for couples that are trying out monogamish or open relationship
Speaker 6: and they want to try to have sex with someone else,
Speaker 6: I said, the easiest way, from what I have observed,
Speaker 6: is have sex with a professional. And that way, no
Speaker 6: one feels like, oh my god, you love him or
Speaker 6: her more or whatever, because like it's their job.
Speaker 5: This is transactional.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but people can also meet like consensually at sex
Speaker 6: parties and sex clubs. And you know, we have a
Speaker 6: couple that are really great in LA, a couple that
Speaker 6: are amazing in New York. So if you guys ever
Speaker 6: traveled to New York or LA, look up in advance,
Speaker 6: maybe you attend one of their parties. Yeah, but yeah,
Speaker 6: it's fascinating and a lot of people have said that,
Speaker 6: you know, people they meet at the sex clubs are
Speaker 6: really nice and loving and kind.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Who was the person who kind of like open that
Speaker 3: conversation with your partner? I guess, like, were you the
Speaker 3: one who was like, I'm kind of open to this
Speaker 3: or was it him that brought it to the table,
Speaker 3: or was it you both mutually kind of agreed on it.
Speaker 4: It was me, Well, how does he go dating you
Speaker 4: were who's so advanced in this sexual department. Does he
Speaker 4: find it a little bit demasculating or is he all
Speaker 4: cool with it?
Speaker 5: No, he's really proud. He keeps telling people what I do.
Speaker 5: He's really proud.
Speaker 6: He's also he's also a public person. So I think
Speaker 6: our lifestyle is kind of a known thing, and we're
Speaker 6: both proud of it. I think, you know, we're so
Speaker 6: I think anyone around us can tell, like we are
Speaker 6: so so so in love and we're like always on
Speaker 6: top of each other, and we're just yeah, like we're
Speaker 6: It doesn't in any way have a negative effect on us.
Speaker 6: And it's also something that I think, Okay, here's a
Speaker 6: myth that I want to help other people understand. Is
Speaker 6: when you are monogamish or even like people who are
Speaker 6: in open marriages, you don't like have sex with other people.
Speaker 5: All the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you don't.
Speaker 6: Just you know, if people think it's like oh my god,
Speaker 6: slippery slope, like that's just gonna they're gonna fuck other
Speaker 6: people every day or you know it, sometimes it doesn't
Speaker 6: happen like six months because it's so you're so busy.
Speaker 5: I mean, I have like four jobs.
Speaker 6: Yeah, So it's just the thought of like knowing that
Speaker 6: it's there, Like, Oh, if we want, we can go
Speaker 6: get naughty when we're next time we're in Europe, we're
Speaker 6: gonna bip pop over to Amsterdam, have kinky for some
Speaker 6: with sex workers or whatever we want to do. Like
Speaker 6: it's just the thought of the fact that we know
Speaker 6: that that's available is great.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what'sh what's your thoughts on like casual sex and
Speaker 4: like whatnot stance?
Speaker 6: I think casual sex are fine, Like I feel, you know,
Speaker 6: a lot of sex therapists or coaches will say that
Speaker 6: that's like low quality sex or like someone will say, like, oh,
Speaker 6: I don't like eating fast food. I like eating Michelin
Speaker 6: Star restaurant. Like I'm like, girl, I agree, I also
Speaker 6: love Michelin Star restaurants. But having let that McDonald's French
Speaker 6: fries once in a while is not bad. Sure, sometimes
Speaker 6: you just want chicken nuggets, you know, like, and I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Speaker 6: I think there's good there are there's a way to
Speaker 6: go about it that is fun and refreshing for all
Speaker 6: participants and as long as the woman comes, I think
Speaker 6: it's good.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 3: What's your biggest piece of advice for sexual health for
Speaker 3: our listeners who are tuning in.
Speaker 6: Have a sexy check in? Definitely regularly talk about sex
Speaker 6: with your partner. My number one question that I love
Speaker 6: asking my partner is like, for the last week, how
Speaker 6: would you rate our sex life from one to ten?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 6: I like, yeah, And we have set up our relationship
Speaker 6: in a way that we can be really honest, Like
Speaker 6: maybe some weeks I'm super busy and I have been attentive.
Speaker 6: He will go like, I think this week was a
Speaker 6: six because you know, like you've been so busy, we
Speaker 6: haven't had you know, a lot, Like we haven't had
Speaker 6: a lot of sex. Maybe we had sex ones and
Speaker 6: you were like you were kind of out of it,
Speaker 6: Like we have given it time to like give feedback,
Speaker 6: and now I don't take that as a bad thing.
Speaker 6: Like if he says it's a six, my question is,
Speaker 6: how can I make it an eight?
Speaker 2: It's still pretty hot?
Speaker 5: Mister.
Speaker 1: These are heading to a six.
Speaker 2: I don't even get four points, so.
Speaker 5: Always eight and above.
Speaker 3: Okay, we have one final question for you. What do
Speaker 3: you think of the term fuck boy? Because it's thrown
Speaker 3: around a lot. What's your opinion on that?
Speaker 5: Oh, I think fuck boy. I think boys are misunderstood men.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I think fuck boys are boys that are that haven't
Speaker 6: had an opportunity to figure out what it is that
Speaker 6: is the most fulfilling way to live their life, and
Speaker 6: so they take, you know, casual sex to be there
Speaker 6: like m O right, like, oh, I'm just gonna suck
Speaker 6: her and leave because that's the only thing, you know,
Speaker 6: because that's the only thing you know that you can achieve,
Speaker 6: maybe because maybe you haven't had the chance to develop
Speaker 6: something that's a little bit more long term and fulfilling
Speaker 6: because you haven't given it a chance. So I do
Speaker 6: think that, you know, fuck boys, most of them, it's temporarily,
Speaker 6: like you would rarely see fux boys in their sixties.
Speaker 5: At some point they come out of it.
Speaker 6: It's like it's like it's a temporary thing until they
Speaker 6: feel comfortable enough to explore something else that's more fulfilling.
Speaker 6: But I think, you know, to call it fun boy
Speaker 6: and just to be like oh fuck fuck that guy,
Speaker 6: he's a fuck boy, Like you know, he's a terrible person.
Speaker 6: I don't think that like being a fuck boy to
Speaker 6: being a terrible person. Like you enjoy casual sex, that's okay.
Speaker 2: I agree.
Speaker 4: I mean I've always said, like being fuck boys, okay,
Speaker 4: it's just don't hurt every girl you come across, be
Speaker 4: honest with them and transparent that you're not looking for something.
Speaker 2: This is just casual sex.
Speaker 5: This isn't exactly.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think if you communicate that, both parties understand.
Speaker 2: How can you define it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just have I said one last question, but
Speaker 3: I have one more because it's kind of current in
Speaker 3: the media at the moment.
Speaker 1: What do you think of slut shaming culture?
Speaker 3: Obviously, you speak very openly about sex, which is super
Speaker 3: refreshing to here. Yeah, it's awesome, but there is still
Speaker 3: this big slut shaming culture. What do you think of that.
Speaker 6: I get slut shamed a lot, really because of the
Speaker 6: content that I put out and what I stand for,
Speaker 6: which is like having amazing lots of sex.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 6: And you know, I think slut shaming culture has a
Speaker 6: very has very deep roots, and sadly, the symptom of
Speaker 6: it is typically young, misguided men slutshaming other young women
Speaker 6: because they are uncomfortable with their own sexuality.
Speaker 5: You would rarely see an.
Speaker 6: Attractive, successful person slut shame women because they're too busy
Speaker 6: being successful and achieving. You know. It's usually the people
Speaker 6: that are not, like, don't a lot, have a lot
Speaker 6: going on in life, that tend to have time to
Speaker 6: judge other people and to even like have the space
Speaker 6: to like make videos and post about them. So at
Speaker 6: the end of the day, my approach to people that
Speaker 6: slut shame is kindness. Is you know, instead of saying, well,
Speaker 6: you're slut shaming, it's probably because you're unsuccessful and ugly,
Speaker 6: just kidding.
Speaker 5: I don't say that.
Speaker 6: I approach it with kindness, like, hey, you know, what
Speaker 6: type of sex or what type of sex are you
Speaker 6: looking for? What type of relationship are you looking for?
Speaker 6: Sending your good energy, I hope you find your loved ones.
Speaker 6: Like you know, I I don't necessary I never attack
Speaker 6: people back because I don't think an attack back has
Speaker 6: ever worked on anyone. So kindness and sex positivity.
Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely, Doctor Tara, thank you so much for joining
Speaker 3: us in this podcast. It's been amazing. We've learned so much,
Speaker 3: so many times.
Speaker 2: That we now know we could have gone for so
Speaker 2: much longer as well. I have so much more questions
Speaker 2: to ask you.
Speaker 1: You like, yeah, we might have to get you back
Speaker 1: on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Definitely look into that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, this was a fun little threesome.
Speaker 4: Guys, you could explore further into I've got so many questions,
Speaker 4: like you've put tiktoks about tickling the.
Speaker 2: Balls, all this sort of stuff. I love it. I
Speaker 2: reckon it's amazing.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. We really appreciate your time.
Speaker 5: Thank you, thank you, thanks for having me.
Speaker 4: Well that's all we've got time for today. Guys, thank
Speaker 4: you so much for joining us.
Speaker 3: As always, make sure you follow us on Instagram at
Speaker 3: Where's your Head at pod and join our Facebook group
Speaker 3: Where's your Head at FAM. We absolutely love how involved
Speaker 3: you guys are, so if you haven't joined yet, please do.
Speaker 1: It's so much fun.
Speaker 4: Also, don't forget to give us a five star review
Speaker 4: on iTunes, Apple Music, Spotify, or wherever you listen to
Speaker 4: our show. It really goes a long way for us.
Speaker 1: I'm Ana Macavoyd and I'm Matt Sakowski. See you next time.
Speaker 2: Bye.