WEBVTT - LETS TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY… 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:02.600 I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming. 0:00:03.080 --> 0:00:05.960 She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:06.960 my kissing style? 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:11.080 Boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:13.600 trash bin. He's non recyclable, catching her. 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.200 Mut I love being love. I love love. 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:19.959 On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we have 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:23.600 Doctor Tara, sex and relationship expert, to prescribe a hard 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:25.200 hitting dose of sex advice. 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:28.319 Doctor Tara hosts her own podcast, Love Bites. She is 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:31.600 a professor, author, public speaker, and coach. She is here 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:33.720 to share with you some interesting tips and tricks on 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:35.120 how to improve your sex game. 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:38.000 You've asked the questions and we're getting you the answers. 0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:40.320 Stay tuned to hear how to spice up your skills 0:00:40.320 --> 0:00:45.400 in the bedroom. 0:00:45.880 --> 0:00:48.279 Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:53.680 things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between. 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:56.680 This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, 0:00:56.840 --> 0:00:59.000 intimate details, advice, and much more. 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:06.440 Hey, doctor Tara, welcome to the show. 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:08.320 Hello, thanks for having me. 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:10.120 Welcome to Where's Your Head At? How are you? 0:01:10.120 --> 0:01:12.400 I've just got to say that I love your tiktoks 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:14.880 I come up with all the time. 0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:16.840 Yeah, thank you so much. 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:20.920 Matt's constantly sending me your tiktoks and Hayes like, look 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:25.680 at this, this is hilarious. You really have nailed this tiktoks. 0:01:25.920 --> 0:01:28.280 You're constantly in both of our algorithms. 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:30.280 Right, great to know. 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:35.360 So you're a sexpert, right, yes? Are you a certified sexpert? 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:38.800 I would say yeah, most sexperts don't have a PhD. 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:42.200 What's the training, Like, how do you get into that field? 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:42.920 Yes? 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:46.840 So I have a PhD in human communication, but focusing 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:51.280 on relationships. And when I started studying relationships, I realized 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:54.760 that the most common issue that long term couples have 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:59.200 is sex. It's the number one issue. It's the cause 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:03.040 of argument's, costs of divorce. You know, list is long. 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:06.400 So ever, since then, I just thought I wanted to 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:08.680 be a part of the solution of a big problem 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:11.160 that's going on in the world. So I just chose 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:15.079 to study sex and I started teaching at cal State 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:19.840 University Fullerton. So I teach sexual communication and I wrote 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:22.720 a textbook, Sexual Communication, Research and Action. 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:23.640 That's amazing. 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:27.440 So you're teaching lots of students every week they must 0:02:27.440 --> 0:02:29.880 be obsessed with you because they must all follow your 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:31.880 TikTok as well as we do. 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:36.079 Yeah, they most of them love my TikTok And actually 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:38.280 I asked them, like, if any of you want to 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:40.880 film tiktoks with me, like, feel free to do so, 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:43.480 just let me know. And some of them actually participate 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:45.480 it really uh huh. 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:46.919 I love that. 0:02:47.760 --> 0:02:50.880 So, what's the most taboo topic that you've covered with 0:02:50.960 --> 0:02:54.040 your students? And I guess online and with clients. 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:57.040 I think one of the most taboo topics that people 0:02:57.080 --> 0:03:02.880 think is hard to like except is like non monogamy. 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:05.400 So it's not even particularly a sex thing. It's not 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:11.399 like anal or you know, group sex or sploshing. It's 0:03:11.800 --> 0:03:16.520 typically it's the like non monogamy, and like, why monogamy 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:18.320 might not be the natural thing? 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:19.560 Is that what you believe? 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:24.200 My personal belief is that there are many different relational 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:29.320 dynamics that fits better with people of different personality. So 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:33.160 there are people with personalities that are great for monogamy. 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:36.360 There's also people with personalities that are great for open 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:41.400 marriages right or monogamish a term that Dan Savage coined. 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:44.680 So it just depends on your personality and how you 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:45.560 go about life. 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:47.080 What is monogamish. 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:52.000 Monogamish is when you're like ninety five percent monogamous and 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:55.280 like five percent non monogamous. Or another term is you're 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:59.040 socially monogamous so you only date each other, but you're 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:02.400 sexually nonalists, so you can have threesomes, you can go 0:04:02.400 --> 0:04:03.920 to sex parties, things like that. 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:09.160 Is there any monogamish relationships where one partner can be 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:12.000 monogamous but the other one is free to explore. 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:15.840 Yeah, yeah, I've definitely witnessed that where the couple is 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:20.640 in a monogamish relationship, meaning two people are allowed to 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:24.160 explore sexually as long as there's good communication and honesty. 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:27.400 But then one person just doesn't do it because they 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:30.680 don't have time, they're not interested. So it really just 0:04:30.760 --> 0:04:31.880 depends on the couple. 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:35.279 Yeah, So what's the most common reason people come to 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:39.200 you seeking advice? Do you feel what's the most common compliant? 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:44.520 So, as a sex coach, most of my clients experience 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:49.960 similar issues, which is mismatch sexual desires or like sex 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:55.400 less relationship, sex less marriage, and it's it's quite an epidemic. 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:57.080 A lot of long term. 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:58.520 Couples have less and less sex. 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:02.000 We call it like the three year hump, five year hump, 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:04.599 and ten year hump. How long have you guys been together? 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:05.599 We're not together? 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:11.919 Oh yeah, I've engaged to my film see Michael. 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:14.360 So yeah, are you guys in a hump or. 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:16.640 Are you No, We're not in a hump, but I 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:19.599 mean in case we do get into a hump, Like, 0:05:19.680 --> 0:05:23.120 what is the remedy to getting over that hump? 0:05:23.320 --> 0:05:27.120 Gosh, there are so many. It just depends on how 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:32.200 much of a sexual variety you're interested in, because you know, 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:36.560 you could revamp your whole relationship and attend like a 0:05:36.600 --> 0:05:39.600 sex party together. But then for some people it's like, oh, 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:41.720 let's just start with handcuffs. 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:43.760 Yeah, so you know, it. 0:05:43.760 --> 0:05:47.000 Depends on how much of a sexual variety you can 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:51.800 like explore and embrace in your relationship. But the key 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:56.440 for these long term relationship humps, the key is simple. 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:58.520 It's just hard to do and it takes effort. 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:03.560 The key is to continuously remind each other of how 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:07.280 grateful you are for one another and to focus on 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:11.200 each other more because the issue with long term couples 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:14.560 is they get used to each other, They get too comfortable, 0:06:14.839 --> 0:06:18.760 maybe even get sloppy. And the one thing that I 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:21.400 have noticed a lot of long term couple's experience is 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:25.120 they lose desire for the other person completely. They don't 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:26.799 even find their partner attractive. 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:30.200 Wow, And it's pretty I mean. 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:32.360 It's the reality. 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:33.479 It's pretty hurtful. 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:36.360 But there are many things that a couple can do, 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:42.240 like introducing novelty, continuously date each other, focusing on each other, 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:45.719 making more quality time. So there's many things you can do, 0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:48.240 but you just gotta make sure you put in the effort. 0:06:48.360 --> 0:06:50.960 Yeah to say, and it wouldn't be just a quick 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:54.240 solve of the like a solution to it, Like you 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:57.080 can't just say, all right, let's get handcuffs and handcuff 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:58.479 each other, Like, I think there's a lot of work 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:00.680 that would need to go into that, a lot of. 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:04.640 Like absolutely, it's it's definitely scary for someone who's in 0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:07.359 I guess a new ish relationship. So I've been in 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:12.320 a relationship now for officially about sixteen months, and it's 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:15.920 scary to think that that's like on the horizon and coming. 0:07:18.320 --> 0:07:21.880 I think the fact that you said that you're most. 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:24.280 Likely not going to experience it because the fact that 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:27.000 you said that you're going to care, and the people 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:29.480 that have this kind of issue they stopped caring. 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:36.280 Yeah, I know you'll be okay, Just last tight little 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:40.920 number for Michael now and then again that should be 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:45.240 all right. So you have a podcast. It's called Love Bites. 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:46.320 Do you want to have to tell a little bit 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:46.760 about that? 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:48.760 Yeah, So, long story short. 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:52.160 When I got a job as a professor, I was 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:57.080 working towards tenure, and like in the American professoral system, 0:07:57.440 --> 0:08:00.000 becoming a tenure professor is kind of like the highest 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:03.800 professorship that you can get to. So once I got 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:06.240 my tenure, I thought, well, you know, what would be 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:09.400 like a fun, exciting thing to do outside of academia. 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:15.200 So I started podcasting And then that after I started podcasting, 0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:17.440 I got really good reception, and after that I just 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:20.400 started my social media. I started my Instagram, I started 0:08:20.400 --> 0:08:22.960 my TikTok and it kind of just went like viral 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:27.280 from there from TikTok. Yeah, but the podcast is really 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:32.200 fun because it's all about sex and I interview anyone 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:36.160 from you know, highly qualified sex therapist or researcher to 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:40.280 a sex worker or porn star, right, like anyone who 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:44.640 has sexual experiences to share and even just like an 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:49.240 amateur couple that had threesome for the first time, who's 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:52.120 willing to talk about, like play by play what happened, 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:56.280 how you got there. So it's like it's super interesting 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:58.520 to me and I feel really lucky. 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:00.760 It's been like such an amazing reception. 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:03.560 Wow, I can't wait to listen to this class. That 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:06.040 sounds incredible. 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:08.599 You know, I just a young couffle and they've started. 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:15.040 And Okay, well, doctor Tara, we are going to talk 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:18.640 to you about spicing up the bedroom next. 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:23.839 All right, so let's start it off with tell us 0:09:23.960 --> 0:09:27.400 a bit about the male G spot and how to stimulate. 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:30.680 We're getting deeper daddy straight away. 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:37.120 Oh, I love the male G spot conversation. So, the 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:41.360 male G spot is about two inches inside a man's butthole, 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:47.920 and typically you can experience pleasure through stimulation, some kind 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:52.040 of stimulation. This could be even not inserting, but like 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:56.800 massaging the tain area, like by pressing it harder and harder, 0:09:56.840 --> 0:10:00.240 you could feel also the pleasure through there, like taint 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:05.520 massage is something that is apparently becoming very popular because 0:10:05.520 --> 0:10:08.440 I just did an article on Cosmo about that and 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:09.760 people are interested. 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:11.280 Wow, yeah, definitely. 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:13.640 But then if you want to like move it up 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:16.840 a notch maybe, which I'm pretty sure your listeners want to. 0:10:17.120 --> 0:10:18.320 Yeah, let's go. 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:22.840 Is to insert inside a man's butthole and kind of 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:27.240 feel the male g spot from there. It's two inches inside, 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.640 and I mean you can just do finger and move 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:31.920 it there kind of like the same fingering motion as 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:34.440 when you would finger a vagina. Or you can also 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:36.760 do a butt plug, okay, or you can also do 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:37.400 a strap on. 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:41.320 Sorry for the ignorance, but is it like so you said, 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:43.400 it's like a vagiina, so it's up, so you go 0:10:44.160 --> 0:10:46.120 up and turn on it and it's right there. 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:46.480 Yeah. 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:49.760 Well there you go, people listening. 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:51.679 For everyone, For everyone listening, Matt's like fully doing the 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:52.959 motion to all of us. 0:10:53.080 --> 0:10:54.160 You're getting it, We're. 0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:55.679 Getting real get it. 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:58.480 Where just trying to figure it out, you know, just 0:10:58.520 --> 0:10:59.440 asking for a friend. 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:02.320 Would you want to try? 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:03.440 Yeah, i'd be. 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.120 I've said to before in the podcast that I'm willing 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:09.120 to try everything and like if that gets you off, yeah, 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:09.480 that'd be. 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:10.720 I'd love to try that. 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:11.360 Yeah. 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:14.680 Yeah, I like I like that saying like one of 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:20.800 my friends taught me, I'll try anything twice that yeah, 0:11:21.200 --> 0:11:23.600 the first time might be bad, but the second time 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:24.160 might not be. 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:25.760 So I'll try anything twice. 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:28.280 Okay, I'm gonna steal that expression. I love it. 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:29.720 Okay. 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:33.280 You mentioned edging before. What's edging? 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:38.800 Yeah, Edging is basically stimulating yourself until you're like on 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:41.679 the edge of almost coming, but then you stop so 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:45.000 you withhold the orgasm and you don't come. And like 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:47.960 it works for men and women. People think it's just 0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:49.640 for men, Like women itch too. 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:52.040 Okay, and how does that improve your orgasm? 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:56.600 So for men, there's literature that shows edging helps with 0:11:56.960 --> 0:12:01.000 premature ejaculation. So the more you practice edging, the more 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:04.240 you're gonna be able to basically hold the same practice 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:06.400 when you have sex with someone face to face, like 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:07.040 in real life. 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:08.120 So if you. 0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:11.160 Watch porn and you masturbate, like try edging so that 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:13.560 you don't come too fast, because then when you have 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:15.480 sex with a person in real life, you might come 0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:19.360 really fast. So that's kind of the recommendation from like 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:20.560 a lot of male sex. 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:23.200 Coaches is that like getting right on that vinegar stroke 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.120 and then you're right there and then just holding it. 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:29.400 Have you done it? Have you guys done it. 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:34.200 No, I'm gonna try and let you know how I does. 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:35.800 So just part of my ignorance. 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:39.080 Do you mean like you almost come and then you 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:41.719 just fully stop and then just go on with your 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:42.680 daily life. 0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:44.120 That would be so hard. 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:47.760 That would take some serious mental strength. 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:48.520 Yeah. 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:51.400 And then I guess what you're saying is then the 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:54.680 next time you are heading towards coming and you actually 0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:56.960 let yourself come, the orgasm is much bigger. 0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:58.000 Is that correct? 0:12:58.320 --> 0:12:58.600 Uh? 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:00.640 It could be that, or it would just be that 0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:03.080 it helps you last longer when you're a man when 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:05.600 you're a woman. Yeah, it could help you have a 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:08.920 more impactful orgasm. 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:11.160 I've got lots of homework. 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:15.320 Oh yeah, I love edging. 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:18.320 Sometimes, Like you know, I will like watch porn or 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:21.000 listen to erotica and then I'll like masturbate with a 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:23.360 vibrator and then I would almost come, but then I 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:26.720 would stop, Wow, just to tease myself a little bit, 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:29.600 And then you know, I'll sometimes I will resume, and 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:32.160 sometimes I won't. Sometimes I just go on and go 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:33.319 teach at a university. 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:35.520 Does that not cause blue balls for guys? 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:39.280 It could, but it is a part of the practice. 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:44.160 Is that mini sex coaches would recommend males who experience 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:47.239 like premature ejaculation or like sexual anxiety. 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:49.600 What's your what's your opinion on porn? You say you 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:50.000 watch it. 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:52.800 I know that a lot of people in the round 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:54.880 that we've interviewed before say that they don't. 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:57.720 Agree with porn. Do you do you agree with watching porn? 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:01.160 I think porn is rate in moderation. 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:07.600 I think that it helps people learn, like stimulation, it 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:13.880 helps people get aroused, it helps couples explore other things. 0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:16.560 But I don't think it's good when you rely on 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:20.360 it every time. So I know many people that when 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:24.800 they masturbate, they have to watch porn, cannot masturbate without porn. 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:27.320 I think when it becomes like a reliance like that, 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:29.880 just like anything else, like you really shouldn't have to 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:33.960 rely on anything. So when that's the case, then I 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:37.400 think it's a problem. However, I don't vilify porn. 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:38.160 I think it porn. 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:39.640 It is fine, and I think there's a lot of 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:42.040 good porn out there, But there's also some shitty porn 0:14:42.080 --> 0:14:46.800 that's like creating anxiety and terrible expectations for people. Because 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:49.560 you see, like there's a lot of heterosexual porn where 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.200 the man will come in like lift up the skirt 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:55.360 and like just start fucking and like, you know, I'm like, girl, 0:14:55.480 --> 0:15:01.440 that girl's dry as fun. She was not wet waiting 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:01.760 for you. 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:03.800 I was going to say, do you think that at 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:06.560 watching porn at a young age from maos focks up 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.760 there their perception of sex when it comes to. 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:10.280 The real deal. 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:14.680 You know, I'm gonna have to say, yes, it's a bummer, 0:15:14.760 --> 0:15:17.560 but I think, ah, I mean, when you're like fourteen 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:21.520 and you're watching this type of porn, it's definitely gonna 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:24.800 set some kind of weird expectations and can cause a 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:27.160 lot of anxiety when you finally like get a girl 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:27.720 and like try to. 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:28.400 Have sex with her. 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:33.320 However, there's this whole new genre of ethical porn. 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:34.400 Have you guys ever heard of it? 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:34.840 Yeah? 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:36.760 I have, Yeah, please explain. 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:37.440 Yeah. 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:42.359 So, ethical porn is made with like usually it's everyone's 0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:45.240 paid fairly. Everything is clear and transparent. 0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:46.400 But the main thing. 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:52.560 Is all the scenes are made realistic, like a real encounter. Yeah, 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:55.920 So there isn't you know one of these where someone 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:59.400 like shoots squirt for like ten feet. 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:02.960 So you're saying that, you're saying the pawns when like 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:06.640 the doctor comes in and these pat shoes and she 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:07.480 has a patient. 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:09.520 Isn't real? You're telling me that that's not going to 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:10.200 happen to me. 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:12.520 One day exactly. 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:12.880 No. 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:15.480 So it's like it looks like amateur porn. 0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:18.120 Basically, it's like a real It looks like a real couple, 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:20.240 and there's a lot of kissing. There's a lot of 0:16:20.320 --> 0:16:23.680 like just heat it and making out, touching, fingering, you know, 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:26.120 maybe rubbing the booty hole whatever it is. 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:27.640 There's just like a lot of for play. 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:31.320 And then the sex is typically very like passionate and 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:35.920 loving or maybe kinky, but it's never like super violent 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:36.880 or something like that. 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:38.320 Yeah, it's super believable. 0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:41.040 Like it almost looks like vlog style kind of thing, 0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:45.960 like you're influence a couple, like just like sometimes they do. 0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:47.640 They're like, I mean this is something I watch. 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:49.280 They like record their day, and then all of a 0:16:49.320 --> 0:16:52.480 sudden they're just like showing each other some like boom, 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:54.080 and then all of a sudden they're having sex. And 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:59.720 it looks really like you're just peering into someone's life almost. 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:01.280 Yeah. 0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:06.639 Yeah, you've spoken a lot about how couple should praise 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:10.080 their partner during sex or after sex. 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:11.680 Can you touch on that a little bit. 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:17.080 Yeah, I think we should all compliment our partners more. 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:18.000 In general. 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:22.320 I think there is somewhat of a like taking your 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:25.280 partner for granted after you've been with them like maybe 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:30.280 one year. So I'm always like a huge supporter of 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:34.560 continuously giving compliments to your partner, and that includes in bed. 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.800 That's why, like praising them, giving them a lot of 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:42.919 verbal like just shower them with like verbal orgasms. Yeah, 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:45.400 is so great. And it's not like, you know, a 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:48.280 fake one. It's not like, oh my god, your your 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:54.400 dick is bigger than shag or I mean, I don't 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.560 know how big shacks dick is, but uh, it's like 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:01.920 real authentic praise. But continuously like doing things like that 0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:05.240 can really remind your partner about how great they are, 0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:07.760 how great of a lover they are. There's also research 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:12.480 that shows that it improves their sexual self esteem, yeah, 0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:16.040 which is always great in performance and you know sexual wellness. 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:19.440 Yeah, I find that helps me get off. 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:22.119 When oh yeah, when you create that, when. 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:23.840 I hear like yeah, that feels like when they tell 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:25.879 me that and they say, like, your cock feels so 0:18:25.920 --> 0:18:30.280 good and then I'm just like and literally with the seconds. 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:33.800 I have a question. What's you guys's favorite praise? 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:34.880 Praise? 0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:39.840 I love when I get told how big my cock is? 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:43.120 Yes, I'll do that. 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:46.400 Yeah, I I've Yeah, I've got to admit that's that's 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:49.280 great when they're they're doing their thing with it. 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:51.880 Yeah, I don't know. I think like your ask looks 0:18:51.920 --> 0:18:53.200 really good from this angle. 0:18:55.800 --> 0:18:56.800 You're an ask girl. 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:01.080 Yeah, so when when they got you in life. 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:02.080 Don't you love that? 0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:03.560 Yeah? 0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:05.280 What's yours? What's yours? 0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:05.879 Yeah? 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.120 Mine? Is your pussy feels so good? 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:10.480 Yeah? Yeah, I used to get. 0:19:12.080 --> 0:19:14.680 I used to get told my pussy or cox home 0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:20.520 or something, and I look like, what it's where it's 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:20.960 meant to be? 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:25.560 Okay, you talk about high quality sex? What is that? 0:19:25.960 --> 0:19:30.200 High quality sex is the type of sex that when 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:35.360 two people or more are done from sex, they feel 0:19:35.520 --> 0:19:40.640 extremely satisfied and fulfilled. And that's high quality sex. So 0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:44.080 when people ask me, oh, describe, like, give us three 0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:48.719 basically three characteristics of high quality sex, I said, it 0:19:48.760 --> 0:19:53.960 will all be different. For someone who loves anal. Anything 0:19:54.000 --> 0:19:55.600 else that's not anal is not. 0:19:55.680 --> 0:19:58.040 High quality sex. Ok. Right. 0:19:58.119 --> 0:20:02.240 For someone who loves bloshing like splash food all of 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:05.400 our body and licking it off. Vanilla sex is boring, 0:20:05.560 --> 0:20:09.359 and non splashing sex is not high quality sex. So 0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:13.520 it just so depends on what you're into. If you 0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:17.840 are into sensual loving a lot of kissing and grabbing, 0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:23.800 but your partner is into like kind of more violent, aggressive, tough, 0:20:23.920 --> 0:20:28.400 rough sex, then maybe you have to communicate in order 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:30.960 to meet in the middle, or have sessions that are 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:34.280 different rhythm throughout the week so that both people are 0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:39.960 having high quality sex. So there isn't one concrete definition 0:20:40.280 --> 0:20:44.320 for everybody because we all like such different things. Like 0:20:44.640 --> 0:20:47.080 do you guys, do you feel like you are someone 0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:51.959 who feel more turned on by like sensual loving sex 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:55.399 or more like rough and like aggressive sex. 0:20:56.040 --> 0:20:59.560 I love, Yeah, I love aggressive like a quicky sort 0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:01.720 of like like I that's like a. 0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:02.679 Lot of blokes like that. 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:04.400 I don't know, but like I like to just get 0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:07.600 in there and like you know, like it's hot, steamy 0:21:07.640 --> 0:21:09.040 and it's you know, yeah. 0:21:09.000 --> 0:21:10.520 Like a spontaneous fuck. 0:21:10.720 --> 0:21:12.280 Yeah, I love a spontaneous fuck. 0:21:12.359 --> 0:21:14.080 I hate like the one where you've been laying in 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:16.280 bed and then it's like, oh, like you're a relaxed 0:21:16.320 --> 0:21:17.320 you know what I mean, Like I like to come 0:21:17.440 --> 0:21:17.639 from you. 0:21:18.119 --> 0:21:21.280 You don't want to feel relaxed, Yeah, like I want 0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:23.480 to feel stressed, and. 0:21:23.520 --> 0:21:25.600 Then it's like getting to it. 0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:29.080 Starts the wrong what about your It depends what mood 0:21:29.119 --> 0:21:33.560 I'm in, Like I love like sensual like slow, but 0:21:33.600 --> 0:21:37.560 then it moves into like really fun like quick, just 0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:39.399 like sweaty hot sex. 0:21:39.760 --> 0:21:41.600 You know, like start off. 0:21:41.440 --> 0:21:44.360 Like slow and like lots of foreplay and then move 0:21:44.400 --> 0:21:45.800 into like really like. 0:21:45.920 --> 0:21:52.640 What's full play? 0:21:49.080 --> 0:21:54.879 Are you having quigh quality sex? 0:21:55.200 --> 0:21:57.800 Yeah? Well yeah, look I should probably I should probably 0:21:57.800 --> 0:22:00.640 sit down and probably on some fourth But like I said, 0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:02.440 like you said before, someone's high quality sex is a 0:22:02.480 --> 0:22:04.960 lot different to someone else's. So I said, do you 0:22:05.000 --> 0:22:07.000 find that a lot that a lot of people come 0:22:07.040 --> 0:22:10.119 in and partners and they can't find that middle and 0:22:10.160 --> 0:22:13.280 they can't match their high quality sex? Like is that 0:22:13.359 --> 0:22:14.720 a common Yeah? 0:22:15.920 --> 0:22:23.680 Yeah, it is, especially when your preference isn't traditional. Yeah, 0:22:24.000 --> 0:22:26.760 especially when preference like let's say, if you're a very 0:22:26.840 --> 0:22:29.840 kinky person, like one of the people like Coach is 0:22:29.880 --> 0:22:33.000 a very kinky guy and he's into very very kinky, 0:22:33.240 --> 0:22:37.159 non traditional stuff, that's gonna be tough for you know, 0:22:37.280 --> 0:22:40.800 his wife to adjust like throughout their lifetime. It's gonna 0:22:40.800 --> 0:22:45.879 be hard for someone with like a very particular type 0:22:45.920 --> 0:22:52.119 of desire to continuously have high quality sex. And I 0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:53.800 mean that's just like the reality of it. 0:22:53.880 --> 0:22:54.080 Right. 0:22:54.400 --> 0:22:57.080 If if you're into, for example, and this is not 0:22:57.240 --> 0:22:59.760 my client, but like, if you're into scat play. 0:23:00.280 --> 0:23:01.520 What scat play? 0:23:02.640 --> 0:23:04.399 Playing with poop during sex? 0:23:05.080 --> 0:23:08.680 I thought, sorry, I thought scat I just wanted to double. 0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:11.840 If you're into scat play and that's you're like super 0:23:11.920 --> 0:23:14.960 turned on, You're like, oh, that's just so hot. I 0:23:14.960 --> 0:23:17.280 don't know how many times a week you're gonna be 0:23:17.320 --> 0:23:18.119 able to do that. 0:23:18.440 --> 0:23:19.400 Yeah. 0:23:19.480 --> 0:23:22.600 Yeah, So then again, you know, back to your point, 0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:26.280 I think, yeah, for some people, especially if your desires 0:23:26.320 --> 0:23:28.840 are somewhat non traditional, it's gonna be a little harder. 0:23:29.119 --> 0:23:33.720 Yeah. Have you always been super sexually open and accepting 0:23:33.920 --> 0:23:36.800 or has this kind of been like an evolution for you? 0:23:37.280 --> 0:23:37.600 Girl? 0:23:37.720 --> 0:23:42.840 It's an extreme evolution. Anyone that knew me, like from 0:23:42.880 --> 0:23:48.000 my previous life is shocked. Really. I was a lot 0:23:48.040 --> 0:23:52.000 more conservative. I was a lot more I would say, 0:23:52.080 --> 0:23:57.480 objective and conservative. And I don't necessarily see sex as 0:23:57.520 --> 0:24:00.440 an important thing. I mean, granted, I was always like 0:24:00.480 --> 0:24:04.080 an you know, horny little kid like I remember being, 0:24:04.119 --> 0:24:07.320 you know, like twelve and like trying to masturbate with 0:24:07.440 --> 0:24:10.119 a bidet, you know, because in Thailand we have Biday. 0:24:10.359 --> 0:24:12.680 Like I come to America, there's no bidet. I'm really sad. 0:24:14.760 --> 0:24:19.200 They all have dirty assholes, but. 0:24:18.119 --> 0:24:19.520 In Thailand we have bidets. 0:24:19.560 --> 0:24:21.679 And I remember using bdet on my clip and I 0:24:21.760 --> 0:24:23.120 just like whoa, what was this? 0:24:23.240 --> 0:24:25.280 And it was twelve and just like excited. 0:24:25.320 --> 0:24:28.240 And I just have always been like a horny girl 0:24:28.320 --> 0:24:31.680 and like inquisitive. But you know, as you grow up 0:24:31.720 --> 0:24:34.800 and you're in this modern society where like sex is taboo, 0:24:34.840 --> 0:24:38.879 you kind of just suppress your interest and you know, 0:24:39.119 --> 0:24:42.840 get off elsewhere or in secret. So I've had just 0:24:43.000 --> 0:24:46.840 done that like throughout my you know, teens and twenties. Basically, 0:24:47.119 --> 0:24:50.320 this is this is new. This is like an evolution 0:24:50.640 --> 0:24:53.199 of I would say the last about like six years, 0:24:53.760 --> 0:25:00.080 I have really gotten into like spirituality and like spiritual awake. 0:25:00.880 --> 0:25:05.480 I started, like you know, doing shrooms and then I 0:25:05.480 --> 0:25:08.280 did ayahuasca for the first time a few years ago, 0:25:08.400 --> 0:25:10.960 and all of that kind of like really changed the 0:25:11.000 --> 0:25:13.879 way I think about myself and how I interact with 0:25:13.920 --> 0:25:16.800 the world. And finally I was able to really like 0:25:17.520 --> 0:25:21.640 speak up and vocalize things that I find important, which 0:25:21.680 --> 0:25:24.600 is sexual wellness. I find it very important. It was 0:25:24.640 --> 0:25:28.080 actually married before when I was young, and you know, 0:25:28.400 --> 0:25:31.560 like I don't want to I never want to talk 0:25:31.600 --> 0:25:34.240 shit about like our marriage or anything like that, but 0:25:34.440 --> 0:25:39.000 everyone knows that, you know, I wasn't sexually fulfilled like ever. 0:25:40.119 --> 0:25:42.879 So that's something that has been going on in my 0:25:42.960 --> 0:25:45.520 life for a long time. So I would say I 0:25:45.640 --> 0:25:48.719 come from a place where I'm like, no more, like 0:25:48.920 --> 0:25:50.840 I'm not going to be this girl where I just 0:25:50.920 --> 0:25:55.840 fake orgasms like just to just so my partner is happy, 0:25:56.480 --> 0:25:59.000 and I don't get anything out of it. I can't 0:25:59.160 --> 0:26:02.600 imagine another you know, like forty years with this. 0:26:02.680 --> 0:26:03.320 Type of sex. 0:26:03.359 --> 0:26:06.600 So yeah, and it's not like just his fault. Any 0:26:06.800 --> 0:26:09.480 when it comes to sex, is never one person's fault. 0:26:09.680 --> 0:26:12.199 Like you know, you're a part of that experience, and 0:26:12.240 --> 0:26:15.879 you're not communicating you and me, like you're not communicating 0:26:15.920 --> 0:26:19.680 your desires, you're not giving them feedback, you're faking an orgasm, 0:26:19.760 --> 0:26:22.080 so they think you're coming. So all of the things 0:26:22.119 --> 0:26:26.560 that I was doing was coming from like such an unconfident. 0:26:26.000 --> 0:26:29.800 Low self esteem place. So I would say I grew 0:26:29.960 --> 0:26:30.560 a lot. 0:26:30.920 --> 0:26:34.000 Yeah, speaking of faking orgasms, I was on a TV 0:26:34.119 --> 0:26:36.399 show with Matt and on. 0:26:36.280 --> 0:26:39.040 The show, I actually. 0:26:38.800 --> 0:26:41.760 Voice that I would never fake an orgasm. I was like, 0:26:41.880 --> 0:26:45.200 I will never give someone credit for work they haven't done. 0:26:45.320 --> 0:26:47.120 And there was a lot of like people were quite 0:26:47.160 --> 0:26:49.600 shocked by that, Like that was a couple of years 0:26:49.640 --> 0:26:53.520 back in twenty nineteen, and paper were quite surprised that 0:26:53.600 --> 0:26:54.720 I said that, Right. 0:26:54.760 --> 0:26:58.679 Yeah, there were Yeah, yeah, because statistically, like half the 0:26:58.760 --> 0:27:01.280 women at least, this is the people that actually report 0:27:01.320 --> 0:27:05.359 the truth. Have the women have faked an orgasm? Right, Like, 0:27:05.760 --> 0:27:08.800 I commend you for like I'm not giving him credit 0:27:08.840 --> 0:27:11.040 for things he's not doing. I feel like I've been 0:27:11.040 --> 0:27:15.360 giving extra credit and all the you know a lot 0:27:15.359 --> 0:27:17.679 of guys that I slept with, which kind of a 0:27:17.720 --> 0:27:21.439 lot that I didn't actually come and I faked an orgasm. 0:27:21.520 --> 0:27:23.199 I feel like I've been giving them extra credit and 0:27:23.240 --> 0:27:25.679 really not helping them in any way because they're probably 0:27:25.720 --> 0:27:28.879 having not such great sex with their current partner. Yeah, 0:27:28.920 --> 0:27:30.840 so I commend you for that because a lot of 0:27:30.840 --> 0:27:35.320 women were trained and socialized to be nice. 0:27:35.840 --> 0:27:38.080 Yeah, what do you think about the orgasm gap then 0:27:38.240 --> 0:27:41.080 that they've been talking about in the media recently about 0:27:41.119 --> 0:27:44.320 how like sex finishes when a man finishes when a 0:27:44.320 --> 0:27:44.800 woman does. 0:27:45.000 --> 0:27:47.240 Yeah, yeah, it's really sad. 0:27:47.320 --> 0:27:49.879 I mean we were socialized to like, oh, just be nice, 0:27:49.920 --> 0:27:52.800 just lie, white lie, it's a white lie. You know, 0:27:52.920 --> 0:27:55.440 just tell him, just tell him you're done when he's done. Like, oh, 0:27:55.480 --> 0:27:56.200 that was so good. 0:27:56.320 --> 0:27:57.719 No, it wasn't. You know. 0:27:57.840 --> 0:28:00.720 I think all of that plus you know, you know, 0:28:01.000 --> 0:28:04.560 I think plus the fact that like toys and clittoral 0:28:04.640 --> 0:28:08.560 stimulation hasn't been a part of like any type. 0:28:08.359 --> 0:28:09.679 Of sex at talk forever. 0:28:10.359 --> 0:28:13.879 That has a huge impact of women not coming because 0:28:13.920 --> 0:28:16.600 women need clatoral stimulation to come. 0:28:16.760 --> 0:28:17.440 Absolutely. 0:28:17.680 --> 0:28:21.199 Oh, I think bringing a vibrator into the into the 0:28:21.240 --> 0:28:22.800 mix is a godsend. 0:28:22.920 --> 0:28:25.080 It's definitely helps me definitely. 0:28:25.320 --> 0:28:27.040 Yeah, that's a great mindset. 0:28:27.359 --> 0:28:28.240 Well, I reckon that. 0:28:28.280 --> 0:28:30.920 There's that saying that men that are friends with sex 0:28:31.000 --> 0:28:31.879 toys go to heaven. 0:28:32.000 --> 0:28:35.879 So God, I need a T shirt of this. 0:28:36.280 --> 0:28:40.200 Yeah, a T shirt for any men listening, like they 0:28:40.240 --> 0:28:41.120 are your best friend. 0:28:41.760 --> 0:28:44.120 Don't neglect them. It's so much easier. 0:28:47.040 --> 0:28:50.280 Okay, So let's talk through nipple play because you speak 0:28:50.280 --> 0:28:51.160 a lot about that. 0:28:51.400 --> 0:28:53.960 How can you incorporate this into your routine? 0:28:54.440 --> 0:28:57.520 So I think nipple play is a good for play 0:28:57.560 --> 0:29:01.200 and midplay. And nipple play isn't just like let me 0:29:01.240 --> 0:29:03.720 stuck her nipple a little bit, let me like squeeze 0:29:03.720 --> 0:29:07.400 it a little bit. It's like extended time just focusing 0:29:07.440 --> 0:29:12.800 on the nipples. And because nipples have tons of nerve endings, 0:29:13.280 --> 0:29:17.800 it will help create so much more arousal and basically 0:29:17.920 --> 0:29:21.480 help women get wet more and help get their vagina 0:29:21.560 --> 0:29:22.240 like prepared. 0:29:23.280 --> 0:29:27.200 That's why I always recommend nipple play in for play. 0:29:28.080 --> 0:29:31.200 And this is like, you know, focusing on the nipples, 0:29:31.240 --> 0:29:36.640 maybe you're licking them, sucking, squeezing or just massaging in general, 0:29:36.720 --> 0:29:38.760 and spend a lot of time, like spend like at 0:29:38.880 --> 0:29:41.280 least five minutes on just the nipples. 0:29:41.400 --> 0:29:43.440 I don't know that other people, but my nipples are 0:29:43.520 --> 0:29:47.920 quite sensitive. So like is that something you can overcome? 0:29:48.080 --> 0:29:51.000 I guess nerves? 0:29:51.040 --> 0:29:55.360 Yeah, about you just like push through sensitivity? 0:29:55.800 --> 0:29:58.280 Is it sensitive in a good way or sensitive like 0:29:58.320 --> 0:29:58.880 it hurts? 0:29:59.640 --> 0:30:03.760 It doesn't, but it's just so sensitive and like, ah, you. 0:30:03.760 --> 0:30:09.280 Know how then maybe pushed through you could get nipple orgasm? 0:30:09.560 --> 0:30:10.480 What that's the thing. 0:30:11.040 --> 0:30:14.680 Yeah, so like one in three women can get nipple orgasm. 0:30:14.720 --> 0:30:18.040 I mean technically all women can get or nipple orgasm, 0:30:18.120 --> 0:30:20.360 but like that's how many people have reported that they 0:30:20.440 --> 0:30:23.720 have gotten nipple orgasm where you yeah, you get like 0:30:23.800 --> 0:30:26.560 tingly all over your body and like your volva is 0:30:26.640 --> 0:30:29.960 tingly basically an orgasm from nipples. 0:30:30.080 --> 0:30:33.760 Yeah, my mate sat with a girl who had thats 0:30:33.800 --> 0:30:35.360 like the whole time she was asking him. 0:30:35.200 --> 0:30:38.840 Too, I've never heard of this? How how have I 0:30:38.960 --> 0:30:40.000 not heard of this? 0:30:40.240 --> 0:30:42.720 Girl? Men can get nipple orgasm? 0:30:43.200 --> 0:30:44.040 Right? Really? 0:30:44.360 --> 0:30:49.000 Huh wow? Yes? 0:30:49.280 --> 0:30:53.560 Yeah, so I think men can get multiple orgasms through 0:30:53.680 --> 0:30:58.000 like nipples, through of course their penis, taint massage and 0:30:58.360 --> 0:31:01.200 like a little finger or a buttl in their butthole 0:31:01.320 --> 0:31:03.920 like that. They can get multiple orgasms too. Men think 0:31:03.960 --> 0:31:07.160 they can only ejaculate and like come through the penis, 0:31:07.200 --> 0:31:08.680 but there's so many different ways. 0:31:09.040 --> 0:31:12.560 Yeah, and then let's talk about squirting, because I feel 0:31:12.600 --> 0:31:15.200 like that's something that can happen and a lot of 0:31:15.200 --> 0:31:18.960 women report, but not a lot of people can achieve. 0:31:19.320 --> 0:31:20.080 Is that correct? 0:31:20.360 --> 0:31:21.200 Yeah? 0:31:21.520 --> 0:31:25.000 That's sounds about right, And based on like just me 0:31:25.120 --> 0:31:27.200 talking to so many people, I mean there's I have 0:31:27.280 --> 0:31:31.320 a survey out there, there's like five thousand participants. You know, 0:31:31.440 --> 0:31:39.040 it's it's not something that everyone can focus on to achieve, 0:31:39.600 --> 0:31:42.400 but the functionality, like the parts are there. 0:31:42.880 --> 0:31:46.080 Yeah, so how do this? How was it a girl? Focus? 0:31:46.120 --> 0:31:48.400 Aren't so that it happened? How does it happen? 0:31:48.600 --> 0:31:51.200 You know, it's so much harder like talking about it 0:31:51.360 --> 0:32:01.480 versus like showing. This is why there's some educational out there, 0:32:01.600 --> 0:32:05.320 Like there are porn stars that just do educational videos 0:32:05.360 --> 0:32:08.760 where they like will do squirting videos where it's like 0:32:08.920 --> 0:32:11.920 zoomed in super close and there's no like you know, 0:32:12.320 --> 0:32:14.160 it doesn't show like for a play or anything like, 0:32:14.160 --> 0:32:18.160 it's just like technical. And one of them is my 0:32:18.160 --> 0:32:21.080 my friend Kenneth Play and he he makes like he 0:32:21.120 --> 0:32:24.719 does squirting instructional videos and how like meant to make 0:32:24.760 --> 0:32:27.040 a girl squirt and like how to angle the hands 0:32:27.040 --> 0:32:29.400 and the fingers and what it looks like, what the 0:32:29.520 --> 0:32:32.200 valva and the vagina looks like when she squirts, And 0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:38.880 it's basically letting go of the ejaculate in a woman's body. 0:32:39.280 --> 0:32:42.920 And it's not like what porn shows when you see 0:32:42.960 --> 0:32:46.880 when it shoots a ton of water and shoots really far. 0:32:47.400 --> 0:32:48.920 That's urine ya. 0:32:49.280 --> 0:32:53.680 When you just squirt, it's kind of like and you 0:32:53.680 --> 0:32:56.560 can kind of feel a liquid coming out if you're fingering, 0:32:56.600 --> 0:32:58.960 you can feel it in your fingers and hands, and 0:32:59.040 --> 0:33:02.680 she kind of just gets really wet, and it's basically 0:33:02.720 --> 0:33:09.000 ejaculatory orgasm. And in Eastern Or, I guess like tantra teachings, 0:33:09.640 --> 0:33:13.160 which is not something I'm trained in. I'm literally like 0:33:13.200 --> 0:33:16.920 I'm trained scientifically, but like I learned tantra about four 0:33:17.000 --> 0:33:21.520 years ago, and I'm fascinated in tantra teaching. That's like 0:33:21.640 --> 0:33:24.800 almost like the best kind of orgasm because it allows 0:33:25.040 --> 0:33:29.800 the woman's body to like renew the energy, so the stock. 0:33:29.680 --> 0:33:33.680 Energy is gone. Wow, which is like something else. 0:33:33.720 --> 0:33:37.880 It's a little a metaphysical, but it's something that you know, 0:33:38.000 --> 0:33:41.800 it's an old age like teaching, and I find it's 0:33:41.840 --> 0:33:42.600 so fascinating. 0:33:42.840 --> 0:33:45.560 I find tantra so fascinating as well. It's something that 0:33:45.600 --> 0:33:47.680 I've always wanted to do. I know they have like 0:33:48.200 --> 0:33:51.160 you can go to like a tantric teacher and actually 0:33:51.200 --> 0:33:53.200 go there with your partner and they kind of like 0:33:53.560 --> 0:33:55.520 take you through. And it's always something that I've been 0:33:55.720 --> 0:33:59.800 fascinated and interested in doing. I haven't yet booked anything 0:34:00.080 --> 0:34:01.920 in but it's something that I would love to do. 0:34:02.800 --> 0:34:07.240 Report back. Let's talk about. 0:34:06.960 --> 0:34:10.640 Consensual humiliation, something you've spoken about. Can you just take 0:34:10.719 --> 0:34:11.439 us through that. 0:34:11.760 --> 0:34:13.319 It's a real fetish for this, isn't there? 0:34:13.560 --> 0:34:13.880 Yeah? 0:34:14.120 --> 0:34:16.440 Yeah, do you want me to step on your little 0:34:16.480 --> 0:34:17.040 fucking dick? 0:34:20.200 --> 0:34:22.959 Wasn't it was? That was hot? 0:34:25.080 --> 0:34:27.719 Have you been a dirty little whore? You have a 0:34:27.719 --> 0:34:32.400 dirty pussy? Huh? Your little whore? Like, things like that can. 0:34:32.280 --> 0:34:34.680 Work for a lot of people, and you know, I 0:34:34.719 --> 0:34:38.440 give examples here and they're on TikTok just like it 0:34:38.480 --> 0:34:42.480 makes people laugh because they're like, whoa, that's unexpected, But 0:34:42.719 --> 0:34:46.520 a lot of people like enjoy it and psychologically, I mean, 0:34:46.560 --> 0:34:49.120 it turns them on. And you know, men will like 0:34:49.200 --> 0:34:52.800 get a boner from listening to things like that, because 0:34:53.440 --> 0:34:55.200 somehow I don't know that. 0:34:57.200 --> 0:35:00.120 No. I mean, like I said, i I'm open talking. 0:35:00.360 --> 0:35:03.200 Yeah, I'm real open to anything can really get me going, 0:35:03.320 --> 0:35:05.160 like I love it? 0:35:05.440 --> 0:35:06.080 Yeah, it's hot. 0:35:06.480 --> 0:35:07.440 Yeah. 0:35:07.600 --> 0:35:11.520 I want to talk about why longer full play does 0:35:11.640 --> 0:35:15.239 increase sexual desire because Matt always jokes about how he 0:35:15.280 --> 0:35:17.680 hates full play, but I feel like we can convince 0:35:17.760 --> 0:35:21.120 him that maybe full play. 0:35:19.680 --> 0:35:22.840 What is his word you keep saying? 0:35:24.440 --> 0:35:26.200 So I once said that I'm going to do I'm 0:35:26.200 --> 0:35:27.840 going to do such a long full play, I'm going 0:35:27.920 --> 0:35:32.799 to root. Four plays can turn into sixteen play square rooting. 0:35:32.880 --> 0:35:33.600 Yeah. 0:35:33.640 --> 0:35:37.880 So, a lot of women have what is called responsive 0:35:38.040 --> 0:35:43.480 sexual desire, and a lot of men have spontaneous sexual desire. 0:35:44.080 --> 0:35:48.000 Spontaneous sexual desire is when you can get sexually stimulated 0:35:48.040 --> 0:35:52.680 and get aroused quickly. Responsive sexual desire, on the other hand, 0:35:52.840 --> 0:35:56.760 is where you can get aroused later. So that's why 0:35:56.840 --> 0:36:01.279 it takes time for women to get completely warmed up, 0:36:01.440 --> 0:36:04.600 get like wet pussy, and get aroused like, oh I 0:36:04.640 --> 0:36:07.640 want to I want to fuck right. Most women will 0:36:07.680 --> 0:36:12.400 find that in long term relationships they are not able 0:36:12.480 --> 0:36:17.080 to do these like spontaneous sex or quickies as often 0:36:17.200 --> 0:36:23.279 they won't get wet because it's difficult to get aroused quickly. However, uh, 0:36:23.320 --> 0:36:26.000 it doesn't mean they don't get aroused right, they do, 0:36:26.080 --> 0:36:30.040 It just takes time. So for play or basically like 0:36:30.160 --> 0:36:34.880 nipple play, kissing, kissing on the neck, grabbing the legs, 0:36:34.880 --> 0:36:39.880 the thighs, the ass, butt massage, massaging the butthole, and 0:36:39.920 --> 0:36:43.719 then playing with the clip all those things contribute to 0:36:43.920 --> 0:36:49.680 the stimulation that, as a result, help women get more 0:36:49.760 --> 0:36:52.879 turned on, basically help more blood rush to the clip, 0:36:53.000 --> 0:36:55.719 which is now like you know, it's it's taught in 0:36:55.800 --> 0:36:59.080 sexed like, the clip is the penis, and when the 0:36:59.160 --> 0:37:03.640 blood rushes to the clit, it's like getting hard on, Right, 0:37:03.719 --> 0:37:07.600 you want the clit to be stimulated and hard and 0:37:07.680 --> 0:37:08.560 get like bigger. 0:37:09.000 --> 0:37:10.320 It means that she's ready. 0:37:10.440 --> 0:37:14.400 And then another indicator is when she's a little wet 0:37:14.480 --> 0:37:15.840 or somewhat wet or very wet. 0:37:16.160 --> 0:37:19.640 Yeah, So like guys can't get like have sex without 0:37:20.000 --> 0:37:25.319 being hard. Women shouldn't have sex without their clip being stimulated, you. 0:37:25.280 --> 0:37:28.960 Know, exactly exactly, And I think, you know, there's also 0:37:29.160 --> 0:37:30.680 no shame in using lube. 0:37:30.960 --> 0:37:32.120 Loop feels great. 0:37:32.280 --> 0:37:35.839 There's some amazing loob out there. So I think at 0:37:35.840 --> 0:37:38.160 the end of the day, if you guys were like, 0:37:38.280 --> 0:37:42.560 let's say, if you were having long extended sexual play 0:37:43.040 --> 0:37:45.359 for one day a week, but you want to have 0:37:45.520 --> 0:37:47.960 you know, quickies two other days a week, you can 0:37:48.000 --> 0:37:50.840 totally use lube as well. Because the cool thing about 0:37:50.840 --> 0:37:54.600 women's bodies, you know, we're just so amazing. The cool 0:37:54.600 --> 0:37:58.320 thing about women's bodies is they can also get into 0:37:58.400 --> 0:38:02.040 it during a penetrate. So if you were like doing 0:38:02.080 --> 0:38:05.160 a quikie and she's like psychologically ready and she's like, 0:38:05.160 --> 0:38:07.440 oh yeah, I want to fuck even though her body 0:38:07.480 --> 0:38:09.840 is not there yet because there's lack of foreplay with 0:38:10.040 --> 0:38:13.600 loop and with like you know, penetration and also like 0:38:13.640 --> 0:38:17.080 platoral stimulation, like at the same time, she could still 0:38:17.120 --> 0:38:19.480 come and like have an orgasm and all of that 0:38:19.600 --> 0:38:21.480 because the woman's body is just amazing. 0:38:21.719 --> 0:38:25.680 Yeah, you talk a bit about mutual masturbation. How do 0:38:25.680 --> 0:38:27.840 you think this could spice up things in the bedroom. 0:38:28.400 --> 0:38:31.520 Well, first off, do you guys do a mutual masturbation? 0:38:32.080 --> 0:38:33.720 Yeah, I've done it before. 0:38:33.840 --> 0:38:36.040 Not at the moment, no, Yeah, I mean mainly when 0:38:36.040 --> 0:38:36.720 I'm hungover. 0:38:37.600 --> 0:38:41.200 Yeah, way more would just slack, I'll get off and 0:38:41.200 --> 0:38:43.840 then she wouldn't sort of thing I would, but she's 0:38:43.880 --> 0:38:44.560 like nah, so. 0:38:44.600 --> 0:38:45.719 Like I'll play with Yeah. 0:38:45.920 --> 0:38:49.440 I think mutual masturbation is perhaps like a little bit 0:38:49.600 --> 0:38:53.399 more normal, like not normally common, more common for long 0:38:53.480 --> 0:38:57.200 term relationships. From my investigation, like a lot of the 0:38:57.360 --> 0:38:59.560 women will tell me I usually do that when I'm 0:38:59.600 --> 0:39:03.279 on period because like she won't want penetrative sex like 0:39:03.360 --> 0:39:05.880 some women love period sex. I mean I really like 0:39:05.960 --> 0:39:08.680 period sex. My partner not so much. Uh, So we 0:39:08.719 --> 0:39:13.080 will resort to mutual masturbation or like masturbate or like 0:39:13.200 --> 0:39:15.920 hand jobs, so like he will play with my clitterists 0:39:15.960 --> 0:39:17.759 and then I'll like give him a hand job until 0:39:17.800 --> 0:39:20.600 he comes, which works too, so like either a hand 0:39:20.680 --> 0:39:23.759 job or mutual masturbation where he will jerk off, and 0:39:23.760 --> 0:39:25.360 like I play with my clit and then we like 0:39:25.440 --> 0:39:28.600 kind of come together and we can audibly share like moaning. 0:39:29.480 --> 0:39:33.120 Then it's do like a mutual like a good connection 0:39:33.320 --> 0:39:37.880 experience versus just like I go masturbates secretly in the bathroom, 0:39:38.200 --> 0:39:40.600 Like why, it's a beautiful thing. Coming is a beautiful thing. 0:39:40.680 --> 0:39:41.360 Let's come together? 0:39:41.640 --> 0:39:43.120 Yeah absolutely. 0:39:43.640 --> 0:39:45.480 Okay, Well, we are going to talk to you more 0:39:45.520 --> 0:39:47.560 about relationships and dating next. 0:39:50.840 --> 0:39:53.359 So let's talk about what your thoughts are on the 0:39:53.520 --> 0:39:56.120 trends and culture of dating in twenty twenty three. 0:39:56.400 --> 0:39:56.560 Mm. 0:39:57.680 --> 0:40:04.080 Wow, So the trend is people want meaningful relationships, but 0:40:04.120 --> 0:40:07.120 they also don't feel like they have to commit in 0:40:07.200 --> 0:40:13.080 a monogamous relationship, so they want meaningful connection without like 0:40:13.239 --> 0:40:14.480 kind of labels. 0:40:14.840 --> 0:40:16.879 Do you think that we'll start to say a lot 0:40:17.000 --> 0:40:19.000 less monogamy in the future. 0:40:19.520 --> 0:40:24.640 Yes, I think we will see less monogamy. I don't 0:40:24.680 --> 0:40:26.840 know if it's a lot, because you know, the world 0:40:27.040 --> 0:40:31.320 moves in a way where you know, there's a natural 0:40:31.440 --> 0:40:34.960 movement to it, and there's a reason why it's only 0:40:35.160 --> 0:40:37.560 practiced by like, you know, a small percentage of. 0:40:37.480 --> 0:40:38.320 People right now. 0:40:38.719 --> 0:40:41.319 But I do think people are becoming more kind of 0:40:41.400 --> 0:40:46.400 open minded to the idea of like I said, monogamoush Like, okay, 0:40:46.480 --> 0:40:50.000 if we go about doing this mindfully, Like I'm down 0:40:50.040 --> 0:40:54.719 to have a threesome, right. A threesome is non monogamous 0:40:54.760 --> 0:40:58.160 because by definition, monogamy means having sex with one person. 0:40:58.719 --> 0:41:02.560 So if you guys participate in threesomes or going to 0:41:02.640 --> 0:41:06.560 sex parties or whatnot, like, that's non monogamy. And I 0:41:06.560 --> 0:41:10.680 think that's why monogamish is like a much easier transition 0:41:10.960 --> 0:41:15.319 than like open marriage or open relationship because you don't 0:41:15.360 --> 0:41:17.360 want to date like a bunch of people at the 0:41:17.360 --> 0:41:19.600 same time when you're super busy. I think that's just 0:41:19.640 --> 0:41:22.200 like facts, right, like if you're running a business this 0:41:22.320 --> 0:41:24.359 and that, like you don't have time to like date 0:41:24.400 --> 0:41:27.400 four people, but do you have time to fuck you do? 0:41:28.680 --> 0:41:31.200 So I think a monogamish will become more. 0:41:31.040 --> 0:41:32.040 And more common. 0:41:32.160 --> 0:41:37.200 Are you monogamous, I'm monogamish, Rash, what's your set up? 0:41:38.160 --> 0:41:41.480 Yeah, Our monogamish is pretty simple, and I think it's 0:41:41.560 --> 0:41:45.839 like the mainstream monogamish, which is we can participate in 0:41:45.920 --> 0:41:47.839 like group sex, Like we can have a. 0:41:47.800 --> 0:41:50.120 Threesome if we talk about it in advance, we. 0:41:50.120 --> 0:41:53.520 Collaboratively pick a person together and maybe they are a friend. 0:41:54.320 --> 0:41:57.400 We can attend sex clubs. We can attend like a 0:41:57.440 --> 0:42:02.200 sex party or swing clubs. We can attend like lifestyle resorts, 0:42:02.239 --> 0:42:04.759 but we typically do things together. We can go to 0:42:04.800 --> 0:42:07.520 Amsterdam and have sex with a sex worker for fun, 0:42:08.239 --> 0:42:13.080 but we typically do things together. And we're socially monogamous, 0:42:13.120 --> 0:42:17.000 so we're getting married as well, and we're just with 0:42:17.160 --> 0:42:19.960 each other in terms of like relationship. 0:42:20.239 --> 0:42:23.080 That's so interesting to me, Like there's just like it's 0:42:23.320 --> 0:42:25.880 your I feel like you're such an open person and 0:42:25.920 --> 0:42:29.520 it's really refreshing to hear you talk because I I 0:42:29.520 --> 0:42:33.520 think we rarely hear people who are so open and 0:42:33.560 --> 0:42:36.040 it's and it's great, I mean it's it's it's super 0:42:36.080 --> 0:42:36.799 interesting to me. 0:42:37.040 --> 0:42:37.959 Thank you so much. 0:42:38.040 --> 0:42:40.800 That means a lot to me, I'm trying to share 0:42:41.000 --> 0:42:44.480 like myself in a way that is authentic and helps 0:42:44.520 --> 0:42:47.399 other people feel more comfortable and not just like talk 0:42:47.440 --> 0:42:50.279 from the textbook. I know a lot of people are 0:42:50.320 --> 0:42:52.640 teaching things that are not they're not doing. 0:42:53.040 --> 0:42:55.560 Yeah, do you deal a lot with jealousy because I 0:42:55.600 --> 0:43:00.000 just feel like if I'm putting myself into a monogamish 0:43:00.120 --> 0:43:02.880 type of relationship like you've explained, I would be so 0:43:03.040 --> 0:43:06.920 jealous with another dude. 0:43:08.560 --> 0:43:12.279 I think because there's a lot of communication in advance, 0:43:13.040 --> 0:43:17.920 Like if we, you know, go into collaboratively picking a person, 0:43:18.000 --> 0:43:21.680 we have to like make sure there are rules in advance, 0:43:21.800 --> 0:43:25.440 like number one, you know, not spending too much time 0:43:26.320 --> 0:43:29.239 on the third person as much as your partner, but 0:43:29.360 --> 0:43:32.000 also taking care of them right, because like this is 0:43:32.480 --> 0:43:35.319 supposed to be like fun and somewhat like human to 0:43:35.400 --> 0:43:40.520 human like loving experience, even with your third So you know, 0:43:40.600 --> 0:43:42.719 we just have a lot of communication in advance that 0:43:42.760 --> 0:43:46.080 this is like a fun sexual thing that we do together, 0:43:46.400 --> 0:43:50.000 kind of like going to a spin class or golf 0:43:50.160 --> 0:43:54.160 or you know, just a fun things that we do together, 0:43:54.360 --> 0:43:58.879 not necessarily anything that's attached to like loving or being 0:43:58.880 --> 0:44:01.839 in a relationship. With this other person. And that's why 0:44:01.880 --> 0:44:04.600 I think for us, like going to you know, sex 0:44:04.640 --> 0:44:08.200 club or having sex with a sex worker is something 0:44:08.280 --> 0:44:11.239 that is the easiest. And that's what I usually recommend 0:44:11.360 --> 0:44:15.680 for couples that are trying out monogamish or open relationship 0:44:15.680 --> 0:44:17.600 and they want to try to have sex with someone else, 0:44:18.000 --> 0:44:21.480 I said, the easiest way, from what I have observed, 0:44:21.719 --> 0:44:25.480 is have sex with a professional. And that way, no 0:44:25.520 --> 0:44:27.480 one feels like, oh my god, you love him or 0:44:27.480 --> 0:44:30.399 her more or whatever, because like it's their job. 0:44:30.440 --> 0:44:31.480 This is transactional. 0:44:31.600 --> 0:44:36.120 Yeah, but people can also meet like consensually at sex 0:44:36.200 --> 0:44:39.440 parties and sex clubs. And you know, we have a 0:44:39.480 --> 0:44:42.319 couple that are really great in LA, a couple that 0:44:42.360 --> 0:44:45.040 are amazing in New York. So if you guys ever 0:44:45.160 --> 0:44:47.840 traveled to New York or LA, look up in advance, 0:44:47.880 --> 0:44:50.319 maybe you attend one of their parties. Yeah, but yeah, 0:44:50.360 --> 0:44:52.799 it's fascinating and a lot of people have said that, 0:44:52.880 --> 0:44:55.399 you know, people they meet at the sex clubs are 0:44:55.400 --> 0:44:57.360 really nice and loving and kind. 0:44:57.719 --> 0:44:58.239 Yeah. 0:44:58.360 --> 0:45:00.520 Who was the person who kind of like open that 0:45:00.560 --> 0:45:03.600 conversation with your partner? I guess, like, were you the 0:45:03.640 --> 0:45:05.560 one who was like, I'm kind of open to this 0:45:05.680 --> 0:45:07.480 or was it him that brought it to the table, 0:45:07.560 --> 0:45:11.240 or was it you both mutually kind of agreed on it. 0:45:11.239 --> 0:45:16.440 It was me, Well, how does he go dating you 0:45:16.480 --> 0:45:21.239 were who's so advanced in this sexual department. Does he 0:45:21.320 --> 0:45:23.799 find it a little bit demasculating or is he all 0:45:23.840 --> 0:45:24.319 cool with it? 0:45:24.760 --> 0:45:27.279 No, he's really proud. He keeps telling people what I do. 0:45:29.600 --> 0:45:30.400 He's really proud. 0:45:30.640 --> 0:45:33.879 He's also he's also a public person. So I think 0:45:34.400 --> 0:45:38.680 our lifestyle is kind of a known thing, and we're 0:45:38.719 --> 0:45:42.359 both proud of it. I think, you know, we're so 0:45:42.520 --> 0:45:45.680 I think anyone around us can tell, like we are 0:45:45.880 --> 0:45:50.319 so so so in love and we're like always on 0:45:50.400 --> 0:45:53.640 top of each other, and we're just yeah, like we're 0:45:53.880 --> 0:45:57.640 It doesn't in any way have a negative effect on us. 0:45:58.160 --> 0:46:01.239 And it's also something that I think, Okay, here's a 0:46:01.280 --> 0:46:04.480 myth that I want to help other people understand. Is 0:46:04.520 --> 0:46:07.120 when you are monogamish or even like people who are 0:46:07.120 --> 0:46:10.240 in open marriages, you don't like have sex with other people. 0:46:10.080 --> 0:46:10.720 All the time. 0:46:11.360 --> 0:46:12.640 Yeah, yeah, you don't. 0:46:12.760 --> 0:46:14.680 Just you know, if people think it's like oh my god, 0:46:14.760 --> 0:46:17.719 slippery slope, like that's just gonna they're gonna fuck other 0:46:17.760 --> 0:46:20.680 people every day or you know it, sometimes it doesn't 0:46:20.680 --> 0:46:23.720 happen like six months because it's so you're so busy. 0:46:23.800 --> 0:46:25.160 I mean, I have like four jobs. 0:46:25.360 --> 0:46:28.960 Yeah, So it's just the thought of like knowing that 0:46:29.040 --> 0:46:32.040 it's there, Like, Oh, if we want, we can go 0:46:32.160 --> 0:46:34.359 get naughty when we're next time we're in Europe, we're 0:46:34.360 --> 0:46:38.239 gonna bip pop over to Amsterdam, have kinky for some 0:46:38.960 --> 0:46:41.840 with sex workers or whatever we want to do. Like 0:46:41.880 --> 0:46:44.120 it's just the thought of the fact that we know 0:46:44.320 --> 0:46:46.200 that that's available is great. 0:46:46.440 --> 0:46:50.200 Yeah, what'sh what's your thoughts on like casual sex and 0:46:50.239 --> 0:46:51.280 like whatnot stance? 0:46:51.680 --> 0:46:54.560 I think casual sex are fine, Like I feel, you know, 0:46:54.640 --> 0:46:57.759 a lot of sex therapists or coaches will say that 0:46:57.760 --> 0:47:01.399 that's like low quality sex or like someone will say, like, oh, 0:47:01.400 --> 0:47:03.720 I don't like eating fast food. I like eating Michelin 0:47:03.719 --> 0:47:06.480 Star restaurant. Like I'm like, girl, I agree, I also 0:47:06.520 --> 0:47:10.680 love Michelin Star restaurants. But having let that McDonald's French 0:47:10.680 --> 0:47:14.880 fries once in a while is not bad. Sure, sometimes 0:47:14.880 --> 0:47:18.000 you just want chicken nuggets, you know, like, and I don't. 0:47:18.040 --> 0:47:19.360 I don't think there's anything wrong with it. 0:47:19.360 --> 0:47:21.920 I think there's good there are there's a way to 0:47:22.000 --> 0:47:26.279 go about it that is fun and refreshing for all 0:47:26.360 --> 0:47:29.439 participants and as long as the woman comes, I think 0:47:29.440 --> 0:47:29.879 it's good. 0:47:30.080 --> 0:47:31.080 Yeah. Absolutely. 0:47:31.360 --> 0:47:34.840 What's your biggest piece of advice for sexual health for 0:47:34.880 --> 0:47:36.560 our listeners who are tuning in. 0:47:37.960 --> 0:47:42.680 Have a sexy check in? Definitely regularly talk about sex 0:47:42.719 --> 0:47:46.160 with your partner. My number one question that I love 0:47:46.200 --> 0:47:49.879 asking my partner is like, for the last week, how 0:47:49.920 --> 0:47:52.080 would you rate our sex life from one to ten? 0:47:52.320 --> 0:47:52.680 Okay? 0:47:52.920 --> 0:47:55.640 I like, yeah, And we have set up our relationship 0:47:55.640 --> 0:47:57.480 in a way that we can be really honest, Like 0:47:57.520 --> 0:48:00.760 maybe some weeks I'm super busy and I have been attentive. 0:48:00.880 --> 0:48:02.560 He will go like, I think this week was a 0:48:02.600 --> 0:48:05.799 six because you know, like you've been so busy, we 0:48:05.880 --> 0:48:07.840 haven't had you know, a lot, Like we haven't had 0:48:07.880 --> 0:48:09.560 a lot of sex. Maybe we had sex ones and 0:48:09.600 --> 0:48:11.680 you were like you were kind of out of it, 0:48:12.040 --> 0:48:16.799 Like we have given it time to like give feedback, 0:48:17.040 --> 0:48:19.480 and now I don't take that as a bad thing. 0:48:19.640 --> 0:48:21.920 Like if he says it's a six, my question is, 0:48:22.160 --> 0:48:23.600 how can I make it an eight? 0:48:24.480 --> 0:48:25.520 It's still pretty hot? 0:48:31.920 --> 0:48:32.160 Mister. 0:48:34.280 --> 0:48:35.680 These are heading to a six. 0:48:36.920 --> 0:48:40.520 I don't even get four points, so. 0:48:39.400 --> 0:48:41.160 Always eight and above. 0:48:42.560 --> 0:48:45.040 Okay, we have one final question for you. What do 0:48:45.080 --> 0:48:47.840 you think of the term fuck boy? Because it's thrown 0:48:47.920 --> 0:48:50.680 around a lot. What's your opinion on that? 0:48:50.880 --> 0:48:55.200 Oh, I think fuck boy. I think boys are misunderstood men. 0:48:55.920 --> 0:48:56.120 Yeah. 0:48:56.560 --> 0:49:00.560 I think fuck boys are boys that are that haven't 0:49:00.600 --> 0:49:05.040 had an opportunity to figure out what it is that 0:49:05.200 --> 0:49:08.719 is the most fulfilling way to live their life, and 0:49:08.800 --> 0:49:12.560 so they take, you know, casual sex to be there 0:49:12.719 --> 0:49:15.279 like m O right, like, oh, I'm just gonna suck 0:49:15.320 --> 0:49:17.239 her and leave because that's the only thing, you know, 0:49:17.400 --> 0:49:19.840 because that's the only thing you know that you can achieve, 0:49:20.800 --> 0:49:24.319 maybe because maybe you haven't had the chance to develop 0:49:24.440 --> 0:49:27.040 something that's a little bit more long term and fulfilling 0:49:27.920 --> 0:49:30.359 because you haven't given it a chance. So I do 0:49:30.440 --> 0:49:34.760 think that, you know, fuck boys, most of them, it's temporarily, 0:49:35.520 --> 0:49:40.319 like you would rarely see fux boys in their sixties. 0:49:43.440 --> 0:49:45.080 At some point they come out of it. 0:49:45.080 --> 0:49:47.799 It's like it's like it's a temporary thing until they 0:49:47.880 --> 0:49:50.960 feel comfortable enough to explore something else that's more fulfilling. 0:49:51.400 --> 0:49:53.719 But I think, you know, to call it fun boy 0:49:53.760 --> 0:49:55.759 and just to be like oh fuck fuck that guy, 0:49:55.760 --> 0:49:58.080 he's a fuck boy, Like you know, he's a terrible person. 0:49:58.280 --> 0:50:00.520 I don't think that like being a fuck boy to 0:50:00.640 --> 0:50:04.080 being a terrible person. Like you enjoy casual sex, that's okay. 0:50:03.960 --> 0:50:04.480 I agree. 0:50:04.560 --> 0:50:08.040 I mean I've always said, like being fuck boys, okay, 0:50:08.080 --> 0:50:10.680 it's just don't hurt every girl you come across, be 0:50:10.800 --> 0:50:13.520 honest with them and transparent that you're not looking for something. 0:50:14.440 --> 0:50:16.000 This is just casual sex. 0:50:16.120 --> 0:50:17.520 This isn't exactly. 0:50:18.200 --> 0:50:21.080 Yeah, and I think if you communicate that, both parties understand. 0:50:21.520 --> 0:50:22.239 How can you define it? 0:50:23.080 --> 0:50:26.239 Yeah, I just have I said one last question, but 0:50:26.280 --> 0:50:28.560 I have one more because it's kind of current in 0:50:28.600 --> 0:50:29.760 the media at the moment. 0:50:29.840 --> 0:50:32.719 What do you think of slut shaming culture? 0:50:33.560 --> 0:50:37.240 Obviously, you speak very openly about sex, which is super 0:50:37.280 --> 0:50:42.440 refreshing to here. Yeah, it's awesome, but there is still 0:50:42.480 --> 0:50:45.560 this big slut shaming culture. What do you think of that. 0:50:45.760 --> 0:50:48.640 I get slut shamed a lot, really because of the 0:50:48.760 --> 0:50:50.799 content that I put out and what I stand for, 0:50:50.960 --> 0:50:54.120 which is like having amazing lots of sex. 0:50:54.440 --> 0:50:56.359 Yeah, that's right. 0:50:56.400 --> 0:51:00.719 And you know, I think slut shaming culture has a 0:51:00.960 --> 0:51:07.200 very has very deep roots, and sadly, the symptom of 0:51:07.280 --> 0:51:15.600 it is typically young, misguided men slutshaming other young women 0:51:16.080 --> 0:51:20.000 because they are uncomfortable with their own sexuality. 0:51:21.000 --> 0:51:23.360 You would rarely see an. 0:51:23.239 --> 0:51:28.080 Attractive, successful person slut shame women because they're too busy 0:51:28.120 --> 0:51:32.480 being successful and achieving. You know. It's usually the people 0:51:32.520 --> 0:51:34.319 that are not, like, don't a lot, have a lot 0:51:34.400 --> 0:51:37.680 going on in life, that tend to have time to 0:51:37.760 --> 0:51:41.440 judge other people and to even like have the space 0:51:41.520 --> 0:51:45.279 to like make videos and post about them. So at 0:51:45.280 --> 0:51:48.360 the end of the day, my approach to people that 0:51:48.440 --> 0:51:52.880 slut shame is kindness. Is you know, instead of saying, well, 0:51:53.239 --> 0:51:56.840 you're slut shaming, it's probably because you're unsuccessful and ugly, 0:51:57.239 --> 0:52:00.400 just kidding. 0:52:01.040 --> 0:52:01.719 I don't say that. 0:52:01.960 --> 0:52:04.520 I approach it with kindness, like, hey, you know, what 0:52:04.600 --> 0:52:06.600 type of sex or what type of sex are you 0:52:06.640 --> 0:52:08.560 looking for? What type of relationship are you looking for? 0:52:08.800 --> 0:52:11.520 Sending your good energy, I hope you find your loved ones. 0:52:11.760 --> 0:52:15.080 Like you know, I I don't necessary I never attack 0:52:15.120 --> 0:52:19.759 people back because I don't think an attack back has 0:52:19.800 --> 0:52:24.320 ever worked on anyone. So kindness and sex positivity. 0:52:24.040 --> 0:52:29.320 Absolutely absolutely, Doctor Tara, thank you so much for joining 0:52:29.400 --> 0:52:31.960 us in this podcast. It's been amazing. We've learned so much, 0:52:32.360 --> 0:52:33.640 so many times. 0:52:33.280 --> 0:52:34.880 That we now know we could have gone for so 0:52:34.960 --> 0:52:37.080 much longer as well. I have so much more questions 0:52:37.120 --> 0:52:37.759 to ask you. 0:52:37.640 --> 0:52:40.040 You like, yeah, we might have to get you back 0:52:40.080 --> 0:52:40.840 on the podcast. 0:52:41.200 --> 0:52:42.239 Definitely look into that. 0:52:42.440 --> 0:52:44.560 Yeah, this was a fun little threesome. 0:52:44.960 --> 0:52:48.200 Guys, you could explore further into I've got so many questions, 0:52:48.239 --> 0:52:49.960 like you've put tiktoks about tickling the. 0:52:49.920 --> 0:52:52.239 Balls, all this sort of stuff. I love it. I 0:52:52.280 --> 0:52:52.960 reckon it's amazing. 0:52:52.960 --> 0:52:54.839 Thank you so much. We really appreciate your time. 0:52:54.920 --> 0:52:56.920 Thank you, thank you, thanks for having me. 0:52:59.760 --> 0:53:01.799 Well that's all we've got time for today. Guys, thank 0:53:01.840 --> 0:53:03.160 you so much for joining us. 0:53:03.280 --> 0:53:05.759 As always, make sure you follow us on Instagram at 0:53:05.800 --> 0:53:08.479 Where's your Head at pod and join our Facebook group 0:53:08.560 --> 0:53:11.840 Where's your Head at FAM. We absolutely love how involved 0:53:11.880 --> 0:53:14.480 you guys are, so if you haven't joined yet, please do. 0:53:14.719 --> 0:53:15.839 It's so much fun. 0:53:16.000 --> 0:53:18.240 Also, don't forget to give us a five star review 0:53:18.280 --> 0:53:21.239 on iTunes, Apple Music, Spotify, or wherever you listen to 0:53:21.280 --> 0:53:23.279 our show. It really goes a long way for us. 0:53:23.520 --> 0:53:26.640 I'm Ana Macavoyd and I'm Matt Sakowski. See you next time. 0:53:26.880 --> 0:53:30.160 Bye.