Speaker 1: I get our team. Hope you bloody terrific. Welcome to
Speaker 1: another installming a you project. It's Praige Anthony Harper. Who
Speaker 1: else would it be. I hope you're great. I hope
Speaker 1: this finds you well. As I record this. It is
Speaker 1: two fifty one, it's Friday. We're heading up to a
Speaker 1: big event on the Australian sports calendar. Tomorrow is the
Speaker 1: AFL Grand Final. Some of you're like, fuck yeah, whooping
Speaker 1: he warp. Some of you were like, couldn't give a shit,
Speaker 1: and some of you overseas like never heard of it,
Speaker 1: don't care, don't blame you. But in Melbourne, where the
Speaker 1: Grand Final happens, where I'm located, is quite a big deal.
Speaker 1: So it's public holiday here, goof and round. And I've
Speaker 1: been chatting with somebody in the last hour or so
Speaker 1: about about the thing I want to talk to you
Speaker 1: about right now, which is about education.
Speaker 2: Which is about the way that we learn.
Speaker 1: And you know, for some people, the academic experience is
Speaker 1: brilliant and amazing.
Speaker 2: Some people sailed.
Speaker 1: Through school because school, whichever school they went through, to
Speaker 1: whatever academic system they were in the middle of environment teacher,
Speaker 1: there are a lot of variables that worked for them.
Speaker 1: For some kids not so.
Speaker 2: Great, not bad.
Speaker 1: But bits of it were great, bits of it were
Speaker 1: not so great, probably most of us. So I guess
Speaker 1: for me, some of it not bad, some of it
Speaker 1: a fucking nightmare at times, depending.
Speaker 2: But for some.
Speaker 1: People school was not for a range of reasons. And
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about the social component or bullying here.
Speaker 1: I'm just talking about the purely, about the the academic,
Speaker 1: purely about the way that some people learn optimally, the
Speaker 1: style of learning that suits them, the environment that suits
Speaker 1: them to learn in the academic model that is optimal
Speaker 1: or close to optimal for them. There are a lot
Speaker 1: of variables around that. And one of the things that
Speaker 1: gets said to me a lot, a couple of times
Speaker 1: a week is that something like, I wish the stuff
Speaker 1: that you teach could be taught at schools. I wish
Speaker 1: that my kids would have obviously not instead of all
Speaker 1: the academic, brilliant stuff that we need. And also, by
Speaker 1: the way, it's not about me. It's about the ideas
Speaker 1: that we explore. It's about the strategies and the constructs
Speaker 1: that we explore on this show. Right, I didn't what
Speaker 1: I'm about to share with you. I didn't invent any
Speaker 1: of this. This is not a Craig Harper thing. This
Speaker 1: is just a kind of intelligence and wisdom, arm and
Speaker 1: education that doesn't typically happen at school. But some of
Speaker 1: the things that I'm going to talk about and share,
Speaker 1: I believe would be very advantageous for many young people
Speaker 1: had they'd been exposed to some of this thinking and
Speaker 1: some of this kind of education, and some of this
Speaker 1: bigger than the classroom awareness kind of almost life one
Speaker 1: oh one, Like it's good to understand geography and anatomy
Speaker 1: and a bit of physiology and maths and English and grammar,
Speaker 1: and we need all of that. But also, and again,
Speaker 1: this is not a slight on any particular school or
Speaker 1: the education system or teachers, because I think that the
Speaker 1: role of a teacher is overwhelmingly complicated and difficult, and
Speaker 1: I think for the most part, most teachers do somewhere
Speaker 1: between a pretty good job and a really good job.
Speaker 1: But this is me just thinking more expansively beyond the
Speaker 1: typical model of academia and classroom learning. Some of the
Speaker 1: things that I wish I had at least been introduced
Speaker 1: to earlier, because it probably would have saved a little
Speaker 1: bit of pain, although a bit of pain and a
Speaker 1: bit of mayhem and a bit of madness is okay
Speaker 1: because it helps us sometimes it helps us build skill
Speaker 1: and awareness and all of those things and talent and
Speaker 1: problem solving. But anyway, so here are some of the
Speaker 1: things that I think some of the ideas or some
Speaker 1: of the lessons that could be taught or some of
Speaker 1: the concepts that could be introduced, if not at school,
Speaker 1: then maybe outside of school. So Number one is, life
Speaker 1: doesn't care about your feelings. Life doesn't give a fuck
Speaker 1: about your feelings or you or your self esteem, or
Speaker 1: your happiness or your health. Because life is not some
Speaker 1: conscious being sitting off to the left just observing you
Speaker 1: and worrying or caring or observing or monitoring your feelings
Speaker 1: or your self esteem, or your health, your physical, mental,
Speaker 1: or emotional health, or your happiness. Life is just this massive, ongoing,
Speaker 1: never ending collection of interactions and experiences and people and
Speaker 1: places and events and bullshit and good days and bad
Speaker 1: days and outcomes and media and social media and all
Speaker 1: of these things that make up the human experience, this
Speaker 1: multitude of things that intersect to to create what we
Speaker 1: call a life, a life, and in the middle of
Speaker 1: all of that, in the middle of all of those
Speaker 1: things that are mostly out of your control and my control.
Speaker 1: In the middle, in the middle of all of that
Speaker 1: is you.
Speaker 2: And me.
Speaker 1: And it's not life's job to take care of your emotions.
Speaker 1: In fact, it's not anyone's job but yours. So the
Speaker 1: good news is that you and I in the middle
Speaker 1: of all of the shit that we can't control, the
Speaker 1: madness and mayhem, the good and bad, picks and troughs,
Speaker 1: in the middle of all of that. When we open
Speaker 1: the awareness door on this reality that it's not life's job,
Speaker 1: it's not the universus job to look after me, it's
Speaker 1: my job to look after me. Life will happen despite me.
Speaker 1: Life will happen, Life will continue. Life was here. If
Speaker 1: we're talking about life as this massive thing that humanity
Speaker 1: exists in the middle of, well, life was here long
Speaker 1: before fucking Fatty Harps came on the scene and the
Speaker 1: U Project came on the scene. Life was here. Life
Speaker 1: continues to be here. And when I'm gone, well, my
Speaker 1: life will be gone, but life as a macro experience
Speaker 1: for humanity human kind will continue on. And so this
Speaker 1: is not this is not defeatist this is nothing to
Speaker 1: worry about. This is just something like this whole idea
Speaker 1: that life's not fair. Well, life is just life. For
Speaker 1: most of you listening to this, most of you listening
Speaker 1: to this were born in not all of you, but
Speaker 1: were born in relative luxury. And by that I mean
Speaker 1: a first world country with a lot of the challenges
Speaker 1: that people living in other parts of the world a
Speaker 1: lot of those challenges missing. And I don't know your background.
Speaker 1: You might not be that might not be true for you,
Speaker 1: but there's a fair chance that if you're listening to
Speaker 1: me on a podcast, using your phone or using a
Speaker 1: computer or a an iPad or whatever it is, there's
Speaker 1: a fair chance that you're not living in abject poverty
Speaker 1: as many people are in the world. Which is not
Speaker 1: say that your life is not without challenges, of course,
Speaker 1: or difficulty. But you and I still, even in the
Speaker 1: middle of the mess and the mayhem and the pain,
Speaker 1: you and I still get to figure out what we
Speaker 1: are going to do with our life. And I think
Speaker 1: that a great thing to teach kids early on, you know,
Speaker 1: that non classroom lesson that might be a nice addition
Speaker 1: outside of the classroom, would be that that ultimately you're in.
Speaker 2: Charge of you. You're in charge of.
Speaker 1: Your choices and your feelings and your actions and your
Speaker 1: interactions and people and things and events and good and
Speaker 1: bad stuff will happen to you because of you, inspite.
Speaker 2: You, and around you.
Speaker 1: But in the middle of it, you get to self regulate,
Speaker 1: you get to self manage, and you get to create
Speaker 1: your version of life.
Speaker 2: Your personal experience.
Speaker 1: Number two is what they should teach you at school?
Speaker 2: Is that?
Speaker 1: And this sounds this sounds, this sounds tough, but it's true.
Speaker 1: And statistically you are quite likely to end up unhealthy
Speaker 1: or in debt or divorced, and maybe not happily married,
Speaker 1: maybe not healthy, and maybe not financially secure. If you
Speaker 1: are typical slash average slash representative of current data and
Speaker 1: statistics around this stuff, you don't need to be though.
Speaker 1: This is the great news, right. I think we need
Speaker 1: to understand what is real, what is going on, And
Speaker 1: this is not negativity. This is observation and awareness so
Speaker 1: that we can move into the next year, two, ten, fifteen,
Speaker 1: twenty of our life with this knowledge. Like if you're
Speaker 1: statistically average, then you are overweight or obese. So in Australia,
Speaker 1: for example, sixty six percent of adults or overweight or obese.
Speaker 1: But you don't need to be that's the good news.
Speaker 1: About fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that you shouldn't get married. Of course, first marriage's
Speaker 1: first marriage. The number is a little the percentages a
Speaker 1: little bit lower. Second marriages is higher, and third marriage
Speaker 1: is way higher. Again, it's not to say don't get married,
Speaker 1: it's to say, go into everything with your eyes wide open.
Speaker 1: About forty seven percent of Australians are adult Australians are
Speaker 1: currently in debt or some form of financial difficulty or hardship.
Speaker 1: That's I read that in the ASSEK Report June twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four, so very recently. And that's not to be negative,
Speaker 1: that not to be pessimistic. That's to open our eyes
Speaker 1: and pull back the curtain on what happens for many
Speaker 1: adults in Australia and in many other places around the world. Obviously,
Speaker 1: So why do we pull back that curtain and reveal
Speaker 1: that stuff Because we don't need to be statistically average.
Speaker 1: We don't need to. We don't need to end up
Speaker 1: miserable or broke or unhealthy. We don't need to. But
Speaker 1: we need to consciously, intentionally plan the life that we want.
Speaker 1: What is the health that you want, what is the
Speaker 1: financial reality that you would like to inhabit, what is
Speaker 1: the career that you would like to have? What kind
Speaker 1: of marriage and relationship do you want to have? Because
Speaker 1: you will not accidentally end up in an awesome place.
Speaker 1: And we spoke recently about living intentionally, living consciously, being
Speaker 1: the designer of your life.
Speaker 2: And so.
Speaker 1: You know, when people talk to me, I spoke, what
Speaker 1: is today today's Friday? I spoke someone can't remember earlier
Speaker 1: this week and somebody who desperately wants to be married.
Speaker 1: And literally this person said that to me, I desperately
Speaker 1: want to be married. But you know, I'm worried about this,
Speaker 1: and I'm worried about that, And just the fact that
Speaker 1: the word desperate is in there is a red flag
Speaker 1: for me. And the reality is that for some people,
Speaker 1: just using this as a particular example, for some people
Speaker 1: the idea of being married or marriage is a solution
Speaker 1: to some kind of problem in their mind. But if
Speaker 1: the reason that you want to get married is not
Speaker 1: because you're hopelessly and helplessly in love, this is in
Speaker 1: my opinion, of course, This is my opinion, and I
Speaker 1: will admit my opinions and my expertise in the area
Speaker 1: of marriage may not be worthless too. But it seems
Speaker 1: reasonable to me to suggest that a really good starting
Speaker 1: point for marrying someone in general terms is that you
Speaker 1: love the shit out of them, not because they solve
Speaker 1: some kind of problem or fill some kind of whole.
Speaker 1: At this stage of your life's journey and some people,
Speaker 1: that is the conversation that needs to be had. So
Speaker 1: if you don't want to be average or typical, if
Speaker 1: you want to be happily married for a long time,
Speaker 1: go into it with your eyes wide open. Have healthy relationships,
Speaker 1: healthy conversations, in habit a healthy paradigm.
Speaker 2: Do your best to create that in terms of you
Speaker 2: and your partner.
Speaker 1: If you want to be financially secure, if you want
Speaker 1: your health to be close to optimal for you, then
Speaker 1: none of that stuff will happen accidentally. Number three in
Speaker 1: my little list of what they should teach you at
Speaker 1: school is the have to success.
Speaker 2: Whatever that means.
Speaker 1: Is rarely fun, quick, easy.
Speaker 2: Painless, or comfortable.
Speaker 1: Also that's okay, that's okay, and that's okay because when
Speaker 1: we do the hard, difficult, complicated, messy stuff, and we
Speaker 1: lean into that, and we roll up our sleeves and
Speaker 1: we embrace the messy, painful journey. We commit to the work,
Speaker 1: We commit to the doing of what is required. In
Speaker 1: the middle of that doing, in the middle of that
Speaker 1: hard stuff, in the middle of that uncertainty and discomfort,
Speaker 1: in the middle of all of that, we are very
Speaker 1: likely to build resilience, competence, confidence, skill, understanding, and to
Speaker 1: become a better version of us. Like I've said many times,
Speaker 1: the journey is the gift. We think it's all about
Speaker 1: where we go, and we think it's all about the destiny.
Speaker 1: And there's nothing wrong with the destination, of course, But
Speaker 1: the amount of people who have arrived at the destination
Speaker 1: in inverted commas, the amount of people that I've worked
Speaker 1: with that achieved what they set out to and then
Speaker 1: sitting in the middle of that outcome, haven't experienced something resembling, Oh,
Speaker 1: this is not what I thought it would be. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm where I wanted to be. I achieved what I
Speaker 1: wanted to. I achieved the shape or the size, or
Speaker 1: the bank balance or the career or this. I got
Speaker 1: where I wanted to go. But now that I'm in
Speaker 1: the middle of being at that destination, something's missing. And
Speaker 1: so for me, that is why it is an ongoing thing.
Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean that it's an ongoing journey of
Speaker 1: anxiety and a lack of fulfillment, but realizing that we're
Speaker 1: always on the journey. Even when we reach our goals,
Speaker 1: life doesn't end. We don't hit the brakes and go dnnah.
Speaker 1: Now nothing more. I have no more ambition, I have
Speaker 1: no more goals. I'm just now hands behind the old head.
Speaker 1: I'm going to lean back in the bean bag and
Speaker 1: I'm done. Because we humans, we need we need to
Speaker 1: be stimulated, we need opportunities, we need challenges, we need
Speaker 1: to be solving problems. We think that we're going to
Speaker 1: get to a point and just retire.
Speaker 2: We ain't.
Speaker 1: I mean, well, some people do. But when I say
Speaker 1: retire and be happy, retire from everything, no, No, even
Speaker 1: if we retire from work, which I'm not saying, don't
Speaker 1: retire from work. But we don't want to retire from purpose.
Speaker 1: We don't want to retire from meaning. We don't want
Speaker 1: to retire from learning. We don't want to retire from
Speaker 1: connection and socialization. We don't want to retire from having
Speaker 1: a reason and a purpose and a focus and a
Speaker 1: and even if that mission is just to grow a
Speaker 1: great garden, even if that mission is to spend time
Speaker 1: with our grandkids and to be a good influence in
Speaker 1: their life, even if that mission is to have a
Speaker 1: purpose bigger than me, we don't want to retire from life.
Speaker 1: Number four, Number four is truth. Number four lesson number
Speaker 1: four is you can't do anything. You can't do anything
Speaker 1: you set your mind to. So there's a very common
Speaker 1: theme that that kids get. You can do you can
Speaker 1: be whatever you want to be. You can be whatever
Speaker 1: you want to be. And that sounds nice, and it
Speaker 1: might make person who's been told that feel good, and
Speaker 1: it might make the teller of that the share of
Speaker 1: that message. You can be anything you want. But it's
Speaker 1: not true. It's just not true. We can't we can't
Speaker 1: all be world famous singers because we don't all have
Speaker 1: that talent. We can't all run one hundred meters in
Speaker 1: ten seconds because we don't all have those genetics. We
Speaker 1: can't all be famous film producers and win Academy Awards
Speaker 1: because they only hand out a certain amount. The truth
Speaker 1: is that most of us have quite a bit of
Speaker 1: potential and talent, that we're not operationalizing, we're not maximizing.
Speaker 1: But also the truth is that we can't do everything,
Speaker 1: and that is okay, So the whole you can do
Speaker 1: anything you set your mind too. It seems like a
Speaker 1: good idea to tell kids that, but when you tell
Speaker 1: something to a kid that is not true, you potentially
Speaker 1: set them up for disappointment and frustration and resentment. But yes,
Speaker 1: we need to support and encourage them.
Speaker 2: Yes we need to.
Speaker 1: Love them in a way which is supportive and of
Speaker 1: value to them. But also kids get it. Kids are
Speaker 1: not dumb. We can be practical. Like if somebody had
Speaker 1: has said to me when I was ninety plus kilos
Speaker 1: at fourteen, hey mate, you're probably not going to be
Speaker 1: an ultra endurance runner anytime soon, although you probably could
Speaker 1: become a much better runner than you are. You probably
Speaker 1: could get in much better shape than you're in. But
Speaker 1: with your genetics and but you might not make the Olympics.
Speaker 1: But you know what you could You could maybe you could,
Speaker 1: We're not sure, but you could definitely be way fitter,
Speaker 1: way healthier, way lean. But I would have gone, yeah,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. That wouldn't have broken my heart. If
Speaker 1: some he had said to me, you know when I
Speaker 1: was a kid, Hey, Craig, you're probably not You're probably
Speaker 1: not going to be the next John Mayer, even though
Speaker 1: John Mayer is younger than me. But you're not going
Speaker 1: to be the next whatever Elvis, right because you sing
Speaker 1: like shit. Bro, You're an awesome human. We love you, you're funny,
Speaker 1: you're a good community. But you can't sing. But nonetheless
Speaker 1: we love you. So maybe those Grammy awards are not
Speaker 1: going to come your way, but that's okay. That's okay
Speaker 1: because you're a great kid and your love. So there's
Speaker 1: a way that we can be practical and realistic and
Speaker 1: still encourage and support not only kids but adults, but
Speaker 1: the whole telling people, you know, this self help hyperbole,
Speaker 1: this feel good fucking fluff that doesn't practically help people
Speaker 1: in the real world. When you tell people that they
Speaker 1: can do anything when they clearly can't. It's not like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's nothing that's beyond your reach. No, that isn't true.
Speaker 1: Any things. Plenty of things that are beyond everyone's reach.
Speaker 1: And so yes, let's be positive, let's be supportive. Also,
Speaker 1: let's be practical. Lesson number five on what they should
Speaker 1: teach you at school.
Speaker 2: I might.
Speaker 1: I've actually got twelve, so I might cut this at
Speaker 1: number six and maybe do a part two. So number
Speaker 1: five is, sometimes the people who will undermine, backstab and
Speaker 1: sabotage you will be family and friends, and that that's
Speaker 1: not what we want to hear. But if you're a
Speaker 1: grown up, you know this to be true. Maybe it
Speaker 1: hasn't been true for you, but you know that it's
Speaker 1: been true for people you know. And if you are typical,
Speaker 1: then then you have had this happen to you somebody
Speaker 1: that you care about, somebody that maybe you really loved.
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm being wildly affected by this more
Speaker 1: than others, but I've had I would say it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: I was going to give it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: But I've had multiple people that I really loved, that
Speaker 1: I really cared about, that I really trusted, that I
Speaker 1: really respected, that I really invested. You know a lot
Speaker 1: of me in and more than one or two people
Speaker 1: have done some horrible shit people that I loved. And
Speaker 1: that's okay. I'm not sooking, I'm not bitching. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying what happened on planet Craig, and that's okay, because
Speaker 1: that happens to us. And by the way, I'm not
Speaker 1: saying I'm great everybody else's shit. I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: because if I'm being self aware and honest and transparent,
Speaker 1: have I ever been a shit friend to someone?
Speaker 2: Of course I have?
Speaker 1: Of course I have I ever done the wrong thing?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: Of course, of course we all do dumb shit, and
Speaker 1: we all sometimes where self centered fucks, and sometimes the
Speaker 1: problem is us. But I think it's good to be
Speaker 1: practical and realistic about trust and respect and the place
Speaker 1: that people that we allow people to have in our head,
Speaker 1: heart and life, and know that there will be times.
Speaker 1: Hopefully most people will surprise you pleasantly, but if you are,
Speaker 1: if you're a regular run of the mill human like
Speaker 1: me and most of you listening, then then you're definitely
Speaker 1: going to have people who are going to fuck you over. Now,
Speaker 1: the challenge there is how we respond to that. There
Speaker 1: will be people that you respect and trust and have
Speaker 1: invested time and energy and love and caring that will
Speaker 1: do the wrong thing, and that while that is not okay,
Speaker 1: it kind of has to be okay because you're just
Speaker 1: going to have to deal with that.
Speaker 2: As I've had to deal with that. Now.
Speaker 1: The flip side of that, which is fucking great news,
Speaker 1: is that there will be people that come into your
Speaker 1: life and they wind up being an unexpected gift, a blessing,
Speaker 1: people who undersell and over deliver and you don't even
Speaker 1: know why. But these people are just fucking amazing.
Speaker 2: They are amazing.
Speaker 1: They are kind, they are generous, they are supportive, they
Speaker 1: are helpful, they are loving, and they will cheer you
Speaker 1: on on your path to success and purpose and happiness.
Speaker 1: And there are just as many shitty people as I've
Speaker 1: had fucked me over.
Speaker 2: I've had that many.
Speaker 1: I think probably that many people who maybe more, who
Speaker 1: have been just an unexpected gift in my life. And
Speaker 1: I'm eternally grateful for those people. And let's go with
Speaker 1: less than number six. That what I think we should teach,
Speaker 1: or hope we could teach, if not in school, to
Speaker 1: our young people outside of school. Lessons that I wish
Speaker 1: I learned when I was younger is that your intentions
Speaker 1: are often not someone else's experience. That is, they're not
Speaker 1: getting what you think you're giving at some stage, one
Speaker 1: hundred percent. At some stage, your good intentions will absolutely
Speaker 1: produce a bad outcome. I'm going to say that again,
Speaker 1: at some stage, your noble, generous, kind, good intentions will
Speaker 1: absolutely create a bad outcome, a bad result. And that
Speaker 1: is because what you're thinking about what you're doing, your intention,
Speaker 1: your motive, your reason, let's say that's noble, generous, kind,
Speaker 1: loving People don't live in your mind. People don't live
Speaker 1: in your intentions. People don't live in your thinking. All
Speaker 1: they do is respond to what you do. You do
Speaker 1: something with good intentions. They don't know what your intentions are, necessarily,
Speaker 1: but they do know what you did because they were
Speaker 1: part of what you did. Because what you did to them,
Speaker 1: the words you said, the thing you did, the behavior,
Speaker 1: the action, whatever it is, they experience that firsthand and
Speaker 1: then they have to try to decode that, break that down,
Speaker 1: tell themselves a story about it. And quite often the
Speaker 1: story that they have about your behavior is not the
Speaker 1: story that you have about your behavior. So understand that
Speaker 1: as you're going in. How many times have I as
Speaker 1: a teacher, as a coach, as a mentor, how many
Speaker 1: times have I said something or done something with good
Speaker 1: intention that didn't produce a good outcome?
Speaker 2: Plenty plenty?
Speaker 1: And will I do that ever? In the future of course,
Speaker 1: of course, and so this is not thing to panic about,
Speaker 1: but rather something to be aware of. And this awareness
Speaker 1: is great because it opens a door for you and
Speaker 1: I to start to think about and understand the reality
Speaker 1: and experience and mindset of others. Which, as I've said
Speaker 1: many times before, understanding someone else's version of right now,
Speaker 1: understanding someone else's thinking, someone else's story while not necessarily
Speaker 1: agreeing with it, just understanding it is an interpersonal superpower.
Speaker 1: So let me recap those. So Number one is life
Speaker 1: doesn't care about your feelings, doesn't care about your self esteem,
Speaker 1: your happiness, or your health. That's okay, because that's your job.
Speaker 1: Number two is, statistically, we ain't all going to end
Speaker 1: up in a great place, whether that's with our marriage
Speaker 1: or with our dough or with our health. But again,
Speaker 1: we're not going to accidentally just see what happens. We're
Speaker 1: going to consciously, deliberately and intentionally create the health state,
Speaker 1: create the financial state, and create the kind of relationship
Speaker 1: hopefully that works for us over the long term. Number
Speaker 1: three is that the path to success is often painful, messy,
Speaker 1: and uncomfortable, and that's okay. That's okay because that's where
Speaker 1: we learn, grow, evolve, develop, build resilience, understanding, awareness, competence, confidence,
Speaker 1: all that stuff that I.
Speaker 2: Always talk about.
Speaker 1: So pain, mess mayhem, not only is it part of
Speaker 1: the human experience, absolutely fucking fine. Number four, you can't
Speaker 1: do anything, well, you can do lots of things, but
Speaker 1: you can't do anything that you set your mind to.
Speaker 1: As I said before, you can do lots of things.
Speaker 1: But this whole notion of telling children that they can
Speaker 1: be whatever they want to be and do whatever they want,
Speaker 1: they can become anything. It's a nice sentiment, but it's
Speaker 1: not fucking true. So we need to support and encourage
Speaker 1: and love kids. Of course, build their stealth, self esteem,
Speaker 1: build their confidence, but also don't tell them things that
Speaker 1: aren't true.
Speaker 2: Don't tell don't tell.
Speaker 1: Craig Harper when he's ten that he can become a
Speaker 1: world famous singer when he doesn't have a good singing voice,
Speaker 1: or that he could become an elite endurance runner when
Speaker 1: he doesn't have the genetics to be an elite endurance runner.
Speaker 1: Could I become a decent runner for my body type
Speaker 1: of course? And number five was sometimes the people that
Speaker 1: are going to fuck you over, let's be honest, are
Speaker 1: friends and family. Sometimes the people that are closest to
Speaker 1: you are going to be.
Speaker 2: The worst.
Speaker 1: Sometimes not all people, one or two people. And of
Speaker 1: course the flip side of that is are always going
Speaker 1: to be also going to be amazing fucking humans who
Speaker 1: come into your life and maybe you don't even deserve
Speaker 1: them sometimes, but they just come in and they're awesome.
Speaker 2: They're a gift. They're a gift.
Speaker 1: And the final one that we just spoke about is
Speaker 1: that your intentions are not always someone else's experience. So yes,
Speaker 1: we want to help and support others and we want
Speaker 1: to say the right thing, but we also need to
Speaker 1: be as much as is possible. Theory of mine remember
Speaker 1: understanding someone else's reality as much as possibly we would
Speaker 1: to understand what are their needs, what will work, what
Speaker 1: behavior or what words will work for this person, what
Speaker 1: is their version of going of what's going on right now?
Speaker 2: Alrighty, team, it's been real. See tomorrow