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Speaker 1: I get our team. Hope you bloody terrific. Welcome to

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Speaker 1: another installming a you project. It's Praige Anthony Harper. Who

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Speaker 1: else would it be. I hope you're great. I hope

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Speaker 1: this finds you well. As I record this. It is

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Speaker 1: two fifty one, it's Friday. We're heading up to a

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Speaker 1: big event on the Australian sports calendar. Tomorrow is the

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Speaker 1: AFL Grand Final. Some of you're like, fuck yeah, whooping

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Speaker 1: he warp. Some of you were like, couldn't give a shit,

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Speaker 1: and some of you overseas like never heard of it,

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Speaker 1: don't care, don't blame you. But in Melbourne, where the

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Speaker 1: Grand Final happens, where I'm located, is quite a big deal.

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Speaker 1: So it's public holiday here, goof and round. And I've

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Speaker 1: been chatting with somebody in the last hour or so

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Speaker 1: about about the thing I want to talk to you

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Speaker 1: about right now, which is about education.

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Speaker 2: Which is about the way that we learn.

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Speaker 1: And you know, for some people, the academic experience is

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Speaker 1: brilliant and amazing.

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Speaker 2: Some people sailed.

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Speaker 1: Through school because school, whichever school they went through, to

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Speaker 1: whatever academic system they were in the middle of environment teacher,

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Speaker 1: there are a lot of variables that worked for them.

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Speaker 1: For some kids not so.

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Speaker 2: Great, not bad.

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Speaker 1: But bits of it were great, bits of it were

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Speaker 1: not so great, probably most of us. So I guess

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Speaker 1: for me, some of it not bad, some of it

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Speaker 1: a fucking nightmare at times, depending.

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Speaker 2: But for some.

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Speaker 1: People school was not for a range of reasons. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not talking about the social component or bullying here.

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Speaker 1: I'm just talking about the purely, about the the academic,

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Speaker 1: purely about the way that some people learn optimally, the

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Speaker 1: style of learning that suits them, the environment that suits

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Speaker 1: them to learn in the academic model that is optimal

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Speaker 1: or close to optimal for them. There are a lot

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Speaker 1: of variables around that. And one of the things that

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Speaker 1: gets said to me a lot, a couple of times

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Speaker 1: a week is that something like, I wish the stuff

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Speaker 1: that you teach could be taught at schools. I wish

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Speaker 1: that my kids would have obviously not instead of all

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Speaker 1: the academic, brilliant stuff that we need. And also, by

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Speaker 1: the way, it's not about me. It's about the ideas

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Speaker 1: that we explore. It's about the strategies and the constructs

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Speaker 1: that we explore on this show. Right, I didn't what

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Speaker 1: I'm about to share with you. I didn't invent any

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Speaker 1: of this. This is not a Craig Harper thing. This

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Speaker 1: is just a kind of intelligence and wisdom, arm and

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Speaker 1: education that doesn't typically happen at school. But some of

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Speaker 1: the things that I'm going to talk about and share,

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Speaker 1: I believe would be very advantageous for many young people

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Speaker 1: had they'd been exposed to some of this thinking and

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Speaker 1: some of this kind of education, and some of this

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Speaker 1: bigger than the classroom awareness kind of almost life one

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Speaker 1: oh one, Like it's good to understand geography and anatomy

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Speaker 1: and a bit of physiology and maths and English and grammar,

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Speaker 1: and we need all of that. But also, and again,

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Speaker 1: this is not a slight on any particular school or

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Speaker 1: the education system or teachers, because I think that the

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Speaker 1: role of a teacher is overwhelmingly complicated and difficult, and

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Speaker 1: I think for the most part, most teachers do somewhere

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Speaker 1: between a pretty good job and a really good job.

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Speaker 1: But this is me just thinking more expansively beyond the

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Speaker 1: typical model of academia and classroom learning. Some of the

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Speaker 1: things that I wish I had at least been introduced

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Speaker 1: to earlier, because it probably would have saved a little

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Speaker 1: bit of pain, although a bit of pain and a

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Speaker 1: bit of mayhem and a bit of madness is okay

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Speaker 1: because it helps us sometimes it helps us build skill

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Speaker 1: and awareness and all of those things and talent and

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Speaker 1: problem solving. But anyway, so here are some of the

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Speaker 1: things that I think some of the ideas or some

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Speaker 1: of the lessons that could be taught or some of

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Speaker 1: the concepts that could be introduced, if not at school,

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Speaker 1: then maybe outside of school. So Number one is, life

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Speaker 1: doesn't care about your feelings. Life doesn't give a fuck

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Speaker 1: about your feelings or you or your self esteem, or

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Speaker 1: your happiness or your health. Because life is not some

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Speaker 1: conscious being sitting off to the left just observing you

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Speaker 1: and worrying or caring or observing or monitoring your feelings

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Speaker 1: or your self esteem, or your health, your physical, mental,

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Speaker 1: or emotional health, or your happiness. Life is just this massive, ongoing,

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Speaker 1: never ending collection of interactions and experiences and people and

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Speaker 1: places and events and bullshit and good days and bad

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Speaker 1: days and outcomes and media and social media and all

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Speaker 1: of these things that make up the human experience, this

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Speaker 1: multitude of things that intersect to to create what we

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Speaker 1: call a life, a life, and in the middle of

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Speaker 1: all of that, in the middle of all of those

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Speaker 1: things that are mostly out of your control and my control.

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Speaker 1: In the middle, in the middle of all of that

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Speaker 1: is you.

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Speaker 2: And me.

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Speaker 1: And it's not life's job to take care of your emotions.

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Speaker 1: In fact, it's not anyone's job but yours. So the

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Speaker 1: good news is that you and I in the middle

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Speaker 1: of all of the shit that we can't control, the

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Speaker 1: madness and mayhem, the good and bad, picks and troughs,

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Speaker 1: in the middle of all of that. When we open

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Speaker 1: the awareness door on this reality that it's not life's job,

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Speaker 1: it's not the universus job to look after me, it's

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Speaker 1: my job to look after me. Life will happen despite me.

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Speaker 1: Life will happen, Life will continue. Life was here. If

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Speaker 1: we're talking about life as this massive thing that humanity

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Speaker 1: exists in the middle of, well, life was here long

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Speaker 1: before fucking Fatty Harps came on the scene and the

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Speaker 1: U Project came on the scene. Life was here. Life

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Speaker 1: continues to be here. And when I'm gone, well, my

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Speaker 1: life will be gone, but life as a macro experience

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Speaker 1: for humanity human kind will continue on. And so this

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Speaker 1: is not this is not defeatist this is nothing to

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Speaker 1: worry about. This is just something like this whole idea

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Speaker 1: that life's not fair. Well, life is just life. For

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Speaker 1: most of you listening to this, most of you listening

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Speaker 1: to this were born in not all of you, but

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Speaker 1: were born in relative luxury. And by that I mean

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Speaker 1: a first world country with a lot of the challenges

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Speaker 1: that people living in other parts of the world a

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Speaker 1: lot of those challenges missing. And I don't know your background.

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Speaker 1: You might not be that might not be true for you,

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Speaker 1: but there's a fair chance that if you're listening to

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Speaker 1: me on a podcast, using your phone or using a

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Speaker 1: computer or a an iPad or whatever it is, there's

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Speaker 1: a fair chance that you're not living in abject poverty

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Speaker 1: as many people are in the world. Which is not

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Speaker 1: say that your life is not without challenges, of course,

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Speaker 1: or difficulty. But you and I still, even in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the mess and the mayhem and the pain,

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Speaker 1: you and I still get to figure out what we

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Speaker 1: are going to do with our life. And I think

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Speaker 1: that a great thing to teach kids early on, you know,

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Speaker 1: that non classroom lesson that might be a nice addition

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Speaker 1: outside of the classroom, would be that that ultimately you're in.

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Speaker 2: Charge of you. You're in charge of.

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Speaker 1: Your choices and your feelings and your actions and your

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Speaker 1: interactions and people and things and events and good and

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Speaker 1: bad stuff will happen to you because of you, inspite.

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Speaker 2: You, and around you.

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Speaker 1: But in the middle of it, you get to self regulate,

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Speaker 1: you get to self manage, and you get to create

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Speaker 1: your version of life.

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Speaker 2: Your personal experience.

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Speaker 1: Number two is what they should teach you at school?

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Speaker 2: Is that?

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Speaker 1: And this sounds this sounds, this sounds tough, but it's true.

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Speaker 1: And statistically you are quite likely to end up unhealthy

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Speaker 1: or in debt or divorced, and maybe not happily married,

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Speaker 1: maybe not healthy, and maybe not financially secure. If you

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Speaker 1: are typical slash average slash representative of current data and

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Speaker 1: statistics around this stuff, you don't need to be though.

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Speaker 1: This is the great news, right. I think we need

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Speaker 1: to understand what is real, what is going on, And

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Speaker 1: this is not negativity. This is observation and awareness so

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Speaker 1: that we can move into the next year, two, ten, fifteen,

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Speaker 1: twenty of our life with this knowledge. Like if you're

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Speaker 1: statistically average, then you are overweight or obese. So in Australia,

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Speaker 1: for example, sixty six percent of adults or overweight or obese.

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Speaker 1: But you don't need to be that's the good news.

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Speaker 1: About fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying that you shouldn't get married. Of course, first marriage's

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Speaker 1: first marriage. The number is a little the percentages a

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Speaker 1: little bit lower. Second marriages is higher, and third marriage

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Speaker 1: is way higher. Again, it's not to say don't get married,

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Speaker 1: it's to say, go into everything with your eyes wide open.

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Speaker 1: About forty seven percent of Australians are adult Australians are

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Speaker 1: currently in debt or some form of financial difficulty or hardship.

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Speaker 1: That's I read that in the ASSEK Report June twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty four, so very recently. And that's not to be negative,

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Speaker 1: that not to be pessimistic. That's to open our eyes

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Speaker 1: and pull back the curtain on what happens for many

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Speaker 1: adults in Australia and in many other places around the world. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: So why do we pull back that curtain and reveal

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Speaker 1: that stuff Because we don't need to be statistically average.

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Speaker 1: We don't need to. We don't need to end up

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Speaker 1: miserable or broke or unhealthy. We don't need to. But

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Speaker 1: we need to consciously, intentionally plan the life that we want.

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Speaker 1: What is the health that you want, what is the

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Speaker 1: financial reality that you would like to inhabit, what is

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Speaker 1: the career that you would like to have? What kind

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Speaker 1: of marriage and relationship do you want to have? Because

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Speaker 1: you will not accidentally end up in an awesome place.

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Speaker 1: And we spoke recently about living intentionally, living consciously, being

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Speaker 1: the designer of your life.

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Speaker 2: And so.

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Speaker 1: You know, when people talk to me, I spoke, what

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Speaker 1: is today today's Friday? I spoke someone can't remember earlier

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Speaker 1: this week and somebody who desperately wants to be married.

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Speaker 1: And literally this person said that to me, I desperately

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Speaker 1: want to be married. But you know, I'm worried about this,

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Speaker 1: and I'm worried about that, And just the fact that

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Speaker 1: the word desperate is in there is a red flag

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Speaker 1: for me. And the reality is that for some people,

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Speaker 1: just using this as a particular example, for some people

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Speaker 1: the idea of being married or marriage is a solution

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Speaker 1: to some kind of problem in their mind. But if

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Speaker 1: the reason that you want to get married is not

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Speaker 1: because you're hopelessly and helplessly in love, this is in

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Speaker 1: my opinion, of course, This is my opinion, and I

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Speaker 1: will admit my opinions and my expertise in the area

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Speaker 1: of marriage may not be worthless too. But it seems

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Speaker 1: reasonable to me to suggest that a really good starting

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Speaker 1: point for marrying someone in general terms is that you

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Speaker 1: love the shit out of them, not because they solve

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Speaker 1: some kind of problem or fill some kind of whole.

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Speaker 1: At this stage of your life's journey and some people,

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Speaker 1: that is the conversation that needs to be had. So

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Speaker 1: if you don't want to be average or typical, if

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Speaker 1: you want to be happily married for a long time,

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Speaker 1: go into it with your eyes wide open. Have healthy relationships,

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Speaker 1: healthy conversations, in habit a healthy paradigm.

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Speaker 2: Do your best to create that in terms of you

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Speaker 2: and your partner.

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Speaker 1: If you want to be financially secure, if you want

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Speaker 1: your health to be close to optimal for you, then

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Speaker 1: none of that stuff will happen accidentally. Number three in

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Speaker 1: my little list of what they should teach you at

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Speaker 1: school is the have to success.

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Speaker 2: Whatever that means.

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Speaker 1: Is rarely fun, quick, easy.

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Speaker 2: Painless, or comfortable.

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Speaker 1: Also that's okay, that's okay, and that's okay because when

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Speaker 1: we do the hard, difficult, complicated, messy stuff, and we

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Speaker 1: lean into that, and we roll up our sleeves and

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Speaker 1: we embrace the messy, painful journey. We commit to the work,

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Speaker 1: We commit to the doing of what is required. In

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Speaker 1: the middle of that doing, in the middle of that

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Speaker 1: hard stuff, in the middle of that uncertainty and discomfort,

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Speaker 1: in the middle of all of that, we are very

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Speaker 1: likely to build resilience, competence, confidence, skill, understanding, and to

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Speaker 1: become a better version of us. Like I've said many times,

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Speaker 1: the journey is the gift. We think it's all about

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Speaker 1: where we go, and we think it's all about the destiny.

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Speaker 1: And there's nothing wrong with the destination, of course, But

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Speaker 1: the amount of people who have arrived at the destination

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Speaker 1: in inverted commas, the amount of people that I've worked

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Speaker 1: with that achieved what they set out to and then

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Speaker 1: sitting in the middle of that outcome, haven't experienced something resembling, Oh,

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Speaker 1: this is not what I thought it would be. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm where I wanted to be. I achieved what I

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Speaker 1: wanted to. I achieved the shape or the size, or

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Speaker 1: the bank balance or the career or this. I got

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Speaker 1: where I wanted to go. But now that I'm in

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Speaker 1: the middle of being at that destination, something's missing. And

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Speaker 1: so for me, that is why it is an ongoing thing.

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Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean that it's an ongoing journey of

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Speaker 1: anxiety and a lack of fulfillment, but realizing that we're

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Speaker 1: always on the journey. Even when we reach our goals,

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Speaker 1: life doesn't end. We don't hit the brakes and go dnnah.

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Speaker 1: Now nothing more. I have no more ambition, I have

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Speaker 1: no more goals. I'm just now hands behind the old head.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to lean back in the bean bag and

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Speaker 1: I'm done. Because we humans, we need we need to

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Speaker 1: be stimulated, we need opportunities, we need challenges, we need

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Speaker 1: to be solving problems. We think that we're going to

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Speaker 1: get to a point and just retire.

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Speaker 2: We ain't.

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Speaker 1: I mean, well, some people do. But when I say

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Speaker 1: retire and be happy, retire from everything, no, No, even

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Speaker 1: if we retire from work, which I'm not saying, don't

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Speaker 1: retire from work. But we don't want to retire from purpose.

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Speaker 1: We don't want to retire from meaning. We don't want

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Speaker 1: to retire from learning. We don't want to retire from

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Speaker 1: connection and socialization. We don't want to retire from having

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Speaker 1: a reason and a purpose and a focus and a

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Speaker 1: and even if that mission is just to grow a

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Speaker 1: great garden, even if that mission is to spend time

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Speaker 1: with our grandkids and to be a good influence in

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Speaker 1: their life, even if that mission is to have a

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Speaker 1: purpose bigger than me, we don't want to retire from life.

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Speaker 1: Number four, Number four is truth. Number four lesson number

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Speaker 1: four is you can't do anything. You can't do anything

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Speaker 1: you set your mind to. So there's a very common

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Speaker 1: theme that that kids get. You can do you can

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Speaker 1: be whatever you want to be. You can be whatever

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Speaker 1: you want to be. And that sounds nice, and it

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Speaker 1: might make person who's been told that feel good, and

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Speaker 1: it might make the teller of that the share of

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Speaker 1: that message. You can be anything you want. But it's

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Speaker 1: not true. It's just not true. We can't we can't

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Speaker 1: all be world famous singers because we don't all have

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Speaker 1: that talent. We can't all run one hundred meters in

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Speaker 1: ten seconds because we don't all have those genetics. We

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Speaker 1: can't all be famous film producers and win Academy Awards

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Speaker 1: because they only hand out a certain amount. The truth

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Speaker 1: is that most of us have quite a bit of

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Speaker 1: potential and talent, that we're not operationalizing, we're not maximizing.

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Speaker 1: But also the truth is that we can't do everything,

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Speaker 1: and that is okay, So the whole you can do

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Speaker 1: anything you set your mind too. It seems like a

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Speaker 1: good idea to tell kids that, but when you tell

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Speaker 1: something to a kid that is not true, you potentially

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Speaker 1: set them up for disappointment and frustration and resentment. But yes,

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Speaker 1: we need to support and encourage them.

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Speaker 2: Yes we need to.

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Speaker 1: Love them in a way which is supportive and of

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Speaker 1: value to them. But also kids get it. Kids are

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Speaker 1: not dumb. We can be practical. Like if somebody had

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Speaker 1: has said to me when I was ninety plus kilos

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Speaker 1: at fourteen, hey mate, you're probably not going to be

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Speaker 1: an ultra endurance runner anytime soon, although you probably could

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Speaker 1: become a much better runner than you are. You probably

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Speaker 1: could get in much better shape than you're in. But

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Speaker 1: with your genetics and but you might not make the Olympics.

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Speaker 1: But you know what you could You could maybe you could,

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Speaker 1: We're not sure, but you could definitely be way fitter,

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Speaker 1: way healthier, way lean. But I would have gone, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that makes sense. That wouldn't have broken my heart. If

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Speaker 1: some he had said to me, you know when I

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Speaker 1: was a kid, Hey, Craig, you're probably not You're probably

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Speaker 1: not going to be the next John Mayer, even though

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Speaker 1: John Mayer is younger than me. But you're not going

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Speaker 1: to be the next whatever Elvis, right because you sing

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Speaker 1: like shit. Bro, You're an awesome human. We love you, you're funny,

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Speaker 1: you're a good community. But you can't sing. But nonetheless

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Speaker 1: we love you. So maybe those Grammy awards are not

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Speaker 1: going to come your way, but that's okay. That's okay

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Speaker 1: because you're a great kid and your love. So there's

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Speaker 1: a way that we can be practical and realistic and

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Speaker 1: still encourage and support not only kids but adults, but

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Speaker 1: the whole telling people, you know, this self help hyperbole,

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Speaker 1: this feel good fucking fluff that doesn't practically help people

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Speaker 1: in the real world. When you tell people that they

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Speaker 1: can do anything when they clearly can't. It's not like, oh,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing that's beyond your reach. No, that isn't true.

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Speaker 1: Any things. Plenty of things that are beyond everyone's reach.

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Speaker 1: And so yes, let's be positive, let's be supportive. Also,

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Speaker 1: let's be practical. Lesson number five on what they should

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Speaker 1: teach you at school.

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Speaker 2: I might.

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Speaker 1: I've actually got twelve, so I might cut this at

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Speaker 1: number six and maybe do a part two. So number

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Speaker 1: five is, sometimes the people who will undermine, backstab and

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Speaker 1: sabotage you will be family and friends, and that that's

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Speaker 1: not what we want to hear. But if you're a

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Speaker 1: grown up, you know this to be true. Maybe it

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Speaker 1: hasn't been true for you, but you know that it's

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Speaker 1: been true for people you know. And if you are typical,

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Speaker 1: then then you have had this happen to you somebody

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Speaker 1: that you care about, somebody that maybe you really loved.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm being wildly affected by this more

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Speaker 1: than others, but I've had I would say it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 2: I was going to give it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: But I've had multiple people that I really loved, that

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Speaker 1: I really cared about, that I really trusted, that I

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Speaker 1: really respected, that I really invested. You know a lot

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Speaker 1: of me in and more than one or two people

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Speaker 1: have done some horrible shit people that I loved. And

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Speaker 1: that's okay. I'm not sooking, I'm not bitching. I'm just

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Speaker 1: saying what happened on planet Craig, and that's okay, because

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Speaker 1: that happens to us. And by the way, I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying I'm great everybody else's shit. I'm not saying that

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Speaker 1: because if I'm being self aware and honest and transparent,

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Speaker 1: have I ever been a shit friend to someone?

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Speaker 2: Of course I have?

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Speaker 1: Of course I have I ever done the wrong thing?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 1: Of course, of course we all do dumb shit, and

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Speaker 1: we all sometimes where self centered fucks, and sometimes the

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Speaker 1: problem is us. But I think it's good to be

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Speaker 1: practical and realistic about trust and respect and the place

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Speaker 1: that people that we allow people to have in our head,

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Speaker 1: heart and life, and know that there will be times.

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Speaker 1: Hopefully most people will surprise you pleasantly, but if you are,

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Speaker 1: if you're a regular run of the mill human like

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Speaker 1: me and most of you listening, then then you're definitely

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Speaker 1: going to have people who are going to fuck you over. Now,

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Speaker 1: the challenge there is how we respond to that. There

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Speaker 1: will be people that you respect and trust and have

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Speaker 1: invested time and energy and love and caring that will

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Speaker 1: do the wrong thing, and that while that is not okay,

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Speaker 1: it kind of has to be okay because you're just

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Speaker 1: going to have to deal with that.

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Speaker 2: As I've had to deal with that. Now.

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Speaker 1: The flip side of that, which is fucking great news,

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Speaker 1: is that there will be people that come into your

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Speaker 1: life and they wind up being an unexpected gift, a blessing,

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Speaker 1: people who undersell and over deliver and you don't even

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Speaker 1: know why. But these people are just fucking amazing.

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Speaker 2: They are amazing.

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Speaker 1: They are kind, they are generous, they are supportive, they

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Speaker 1: are helpful, they are loving, and they will cheer you

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Speaker 1: on on your path to success and purpose and happiness.

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Speaker 1: And there are just as many shitty people as I've

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Speaker 1: had fucked me over.

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Speaker 2: I've had that many.

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Speaker 1: I think probably that many people who maybe more, who

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Speaker 1: have been just an unexpected gift in my life. And

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Speaker 1: I'm eternally grateful for those people. And let's go with

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Speaker 1: less than number six. That what I think we should teach,

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Speaker 1: or hope we could teach, if not in school, to

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Speaker 1: our young people outside of school. Lessons that I wish

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Speaker 1: I learned when I was younger is that your intentions

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Speaker 1: are often not someone else's experience. That is, they're not

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Speaker 1: getting what you think you're giving at some stage, one

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Speaker 1: hundred percent. At some stage, your good intentions will absolutely

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Speaker 1: produce a bad outcome. I'm going to say that again,

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Speaker 1: at some stage, your noble, generous, kind, good intentions will

398
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:39,879
Speaker 1: absolutely create a bad outcome, a bad result. And that

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Speaker 1: is because what you're thinking about what you're doing, your intention,

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Speaker 1: your motive, your reason, let's say that's noble, generous, kind,

401
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 1: loving People don't live in your mind. People don't live

402
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 1: in your intentions. People don't live in your thinking. All

403
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 1: they do is respond to what you do. You do

404
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 1: something with good intentions. They don't know what your intentions are, necessarily,

405
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 1: but they do know what you did because they were

406
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: part of what you did. Because what you did to them,

407
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 1: the words you said, the thing you did, the behavior,

408
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 1: the action, whatever it is, they experience that firsthand and

409
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: then they have to try to decode that, break that down,

410
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:27,159
Speaker 1: tell themselves a story about it. And quite often the

411
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,879
Speaker 1: story that they have about your behavior is not the

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00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 1: story that you have about your behavior. So understand that

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00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,199
Speaker 1: as you're going in. How many times have I as

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Speaker 1: a teacher, as a coach, as a mentor, how many

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00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 1: times have I said something or done something with good

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Speaker 1: intention that didn't produce a good outcome?

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Speaker 2: Plenty plenty?

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00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,719
Speaker 1: And will I do that ever? In the future of course,

419
00:26:56,200 --> 00:27:01,640
Speaker 1: of course, and so this is not thing to panic about,

420
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 1: but rather something to be aware of. And this awareness

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00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:10,199
Speaker 1: is great because it opens a door for you and

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00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:14,679
Speaker 1: I to start to think about and understand the reality

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00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 1: and experience and mindset of others. Which, as I've said

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00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 1: many times before, understanding someone else's version of right now,

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00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: understanding someone else's thinking, someone else's story while not necessarily

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00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: agreeing with it, just understanding it is an interpersonal superpower.

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00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: So let me recap those. So Number one is life

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00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 1: doesn't care about your feelings, doesn't care about your self esteem,

429
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 1: your happiness, or your health. That's okay, because that's your job.

430
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 1: Number two is, statistically, we ain't all going to end

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00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 1: up in a great place, whether that's with our marriage

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00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 1: or with our dough or with our health. But again,

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00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: we're not going to accidentally just see what happens. We're

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00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 1: going to consciously, deliberately and intentionally create the health state,

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00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 1: create the financial state, and create the kind of relationship

436
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: hopefully that works for us over the long term. Number

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00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 1: three is that the path to success is often painful, messy,

438
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 1: and uncomfortable, and that's okay. That's okay because that's where

439
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 1: we learn, grow, evolve, develop, build resilience, understanding, awareness, competence, confidence,

440
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,120
Speaker 1: all that stuff that I.

441
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 2: Always talk about.

442
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: So pain, mess mayhem, not only is it part of

443
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 1: the human experience, absolutely fucking fine. Number four, you can't

444
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 1: do anything, well, you can do lots of things, but

445
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 1: you can't do anything that you set your mind to.

446
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: As I said before, you can do lots of things.

447
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 1: But this whole notion of telling children that they can

448
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: be whatever they want to be and do whatever they want,

449
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 1: they can become anything. It's a nice sentiment, but it's

450
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 1: not fucking true. So we need to support and encourage

451
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 1: and love kids. Of course, build their stealth, self esteem,

452
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: build their confidence, but also don't tell them things that

453
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: aren't true.

454
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 2: Don't tell don't tell.

455
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 1: Craig Harper when he's ten that he can become a

456
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 1: world famous singer when he doesn't have a good singing voice,

457
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: or that he could become an elite endurance runner when

458
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 1: he doesn't have the genetics to be an elite endurance runner.

459
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 1: Could I become a decent runner for my body type

460
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 1: of course? And number five was sometimes the people that

461
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 1: are going to fuck you over, let's be honest, are

462
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: friends and family. Sometimes the people that are closest to

463
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 1: you are going to be.

464
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 2: The worst.

465
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 1: Sometimes not all people, one or two people. And of

466
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 1: course the flip side of that is are always going

467
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 1: to be also going to be amazing fucking humans who

468
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 1: come into your life and maybe you don't even deserve

469
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: them sometimes, but they just come in and they're awesome.

470
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 2: They're a gift. They're a gift.

471
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 1: And the final one that we just spoke about is

472
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: that your intentions are not always someone else's experience. So yes,

473
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 1: we want to help and support others and we want

474
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: to say the right thing, but we also need to

475
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 1: be as much as is possible. Theory of mine remember

476
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 1: understanding someone else's reality as much as possibly we would

477
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 1: to understand what are their needs, what will work, what

478
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 1: behavior or what words will work for this person, what

479
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: is their version of going of what's going on right now?

480
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 2: Alrighty, team, it's been real. See tomorrow