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Speaker 1: I get our team. Hope you bloody terrific. Welcome to

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Speaker 1: another installming a you project. It's Praige Anthony Harper. Who

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Speaker 1: else would it be. I hope you're great. I hope

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Speaker 1: this finds you well. As I record this. It is

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Speaker 1: two fifty one, it's Friday. We're heading up to a

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Speaker 1: big event on the Australian sports calendar. Tomorrow is the

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Speaker 1: AFL Grand Final. Some of you're like, fuck yeah, whooping

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Speaker 1: he warp. Some of you were like, couldn't give a shit,

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Speaker 1: and some of you overseas like never heard of it,

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Speaker 1: don't care, don't blame you. But in Melbourne, where the

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Speaker 1: Grand Final happens, where I'm located, is quite a big deal.

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Speaker 1: So it's public holiday here, goof and round. And I've

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Speaker 1: been chatting with somebody in the last hour or so

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Speaker 1: about about the thing I want to talk to you

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Speaker 1: about right now, which is about education, which is about

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Speaker 1: the way that we learn. And you know, for some people,

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Speaker 1: the academic experience is brilliant and amazing. Some people sailed

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Speaker 1: through school because school, whichever school they went through, to

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Speaker 1: whatever academic system they were in the middle of environment teacher,

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Speaker 1: there are a lot of variables that worked for them.

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Speaker 1: For some kids not so great, not bad. But bits

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Speaker 1: of it were great, bits of it were not so great,

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Speaker 1: probably most of us. So I guess for me, some

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Speaker 1: of it not bad, some of it a fucking nightmare

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Speaker 1: at times, depending But for some people school was not

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Speaker 1: for a range of reasons. And I'm not talking about

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Speaker 1: the social component or bullying here. I'm just talking about

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Speaker 1: the purely, about the the academic, purely about the way

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Speaker 1: that some people learn optimally, the style of learning that

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Speaker 1: suits them, the environment that suits them to learn in

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Speaker 1: the academic model that is optimal or close to optimal

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Speaker 1: for them. There are a lot of variables around that.

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Speaker 1: And one of the things that gets said to me

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Speaker 1: a lot, a couple of times a week is that

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Speaker 1: something like, I wish the stuff that you teach could

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Speaker 1: be taught at schools. I wish that my kids would

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Speaker 1: have obviously not instead of all the academic, brilliant stuff

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Speaker 1: that we need. And also, by the way, it's not

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Speaker 1: about me. It's about the ideas that we explore. It's

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Speaker 1: about the strategies and the constructs that we explore on

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Speaker 1: this show. Right, I didn't what I'm about to share

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Speaker 1: with you. I didn't invent any of this. This is

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Speaker 1: not a Craig Harper thing. This is just a kind

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Speaker 1: of intelligence and wisdom, arm and education that doesn't typically

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Speaker 1: happen at school. But some of the things that I'm

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Speaker 1: going to talk about and share, I believe would be

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Speaker 1: very advantageous for many young people had they'd been exposed

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Speaker 1: to some of this thinking and some of this kind

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Speaker 1: of education, and some of this bigger than the classroom

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Speaker 1: awareness kind of almost life one oh one, Like it's

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Speaker 1: good to understand geography and anatomy and a bit of

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Speaker 1: physiology and maths and English and grammar, and we need

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Speaker 1: all of that. But also, and again, this is not

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Speaker 1: a slight on any particular school or the education system

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Speaker 1: or teachers, because I think that the role of a

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Speaker 1: teacher is overwhelmingly complicated and difficult, and I think for

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Speaker 1: the most part, most teachers do somewhere between a pretty

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Speaker 1: good job and a really good job. But this is

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Speaker 1: me just thinking more expansively beyond the typical model of

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Speaker 1: academia and classroom learning. Some of the things that I

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Speaker 1: wish I had at least been introduced to earlier, because

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Speaker 1: it probably would have saved a little bit of pain,

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Speaker 1: although a bit of pain and a bit of mayhem

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Speaker 1: and a bit of madness is okay because it helps

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Speaker 1: us sometimes it helps us build skill and awareness and

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Speaker 1: all of those things and talent and problem solving. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: so here are some of the things that I think

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Speaker 1: some of the ideas or some of the lessons that

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Speaker 1: could be taught or some of the concepts that could

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Speaker 1: be introduced, if not at school, then maybe outside of school.

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Speaker 1: So Number one is, life doesn't care about your feelings.

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Speaker 1: Life doesn't give a fuck about your feelings or you

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Speaker 1: or your self esteem, or your happiness or your health.

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Speaker 1: Because life is not some conscious being sitting off to

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Speaker 1: the left just observing you and worrying or caring or

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Speaker 1: observing or monitoring your feelings or your self esteem, or

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Speaker 1: your health, your physical, mental, or emotional health, or your happiness.

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Speaker 1: Life is just this massive, ongoing, never ending collection of

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Speaker 1: interactions and experiences and people and places and events and

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Speaker 1: bullshit and good days and bad days and outcomes and

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Speaker 1: media and social media and all of these things that

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Speaker 1: make up the human experience, this multitude of things that

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Speaker 1: intersect to to create what we call a life, a life,

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Speaker 1: and in the middle of all of that, in the

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Speaker 1: middle of all of those things that are mostly out

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Speaker 1: of your control and my control. In the middle, in

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Speaker 1: the middle of all of that is you and me.

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Speaker 1: And it's not life's job to take care of your emotions.

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Speaker 1: In fact, it's not anyone's job but yours. So the

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Speaker 1: good news is that you and I in the middle

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Speaker 1: of all of the shit that we can't control, the

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Speaker 1: madness and mayhem, the good and bad, picks and troughs,

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Speaker 1: in the middle of all of that. When we open

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Speaker 1: the awareness door on this reality that it's not life's job,

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Speaker 1: it's not the universus job to look after me, it's

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Speaker 1: my job to look after me. Life will happen despite me.

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Speaker 1: Life will happen, Life will continue. Life was here. If

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Speaker 1: we're talking about life as this massive thing that humanity

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Speaker 1: exists in the middle of, well, life was here long

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Speaker 1: before fucking Fatty Harps came on the scene and the

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Speaker 1: U Project came on the scene. Life was here. Life

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Speaker 1: continues to be here. And when I'm gone, well, my

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Speaker 1: life will be gone, but life as a macro experience

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Speaker 1: for humanity human kind will continue on. And so this

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Speaker 1: is not this is not defeatist this is nothing to

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Speaker 1: worry about. This is just something like this whole idea

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Speaker 1: that life's not fair. Well, life is just life. For

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Speaker 1: most of you listening to this, most of you listening

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Speaker 1: to this were born in not all of you, but

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Speaker 1: were born in relative luxury. And by that I mean

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Speaker 1: a first world country with a lot of the challenges

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Speaker 1: that people living in other parts of the world a

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Speaker 1: lot of those challenges missing. And I don't know your background.

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Speaker 1: You might not be that might not be true for you,

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Speaker 1: but there's a fair chance that if you're listening to

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Speaker 1: me on a podcast, using your phone or using a

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Speaker 1: computer or a an iPad or whatever it is, there's

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Speaker 1: a fair chance that you're not living in abject poverty

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Speaker 1: as many people are in the world. Which is not

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Speaker 1: say that your life is not without challenges, of course,

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Speaker 1: or difficulty. But you and I still, even in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the mess and the mayhem and the pain,

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Speaker 1: you and I still get to figure out what we

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Speaker 1: are going to do with our life. And I think

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Speaker 1: that a great thing to teach kids early on, you know,

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Speaker 1: that non classroom lesson that might be a nice addition

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Speaker 1: outside of the classroom, would be that that ultimately you're

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Speaker 1: in charge of you. You're in charge of your choices

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Speaker 1: and your feelings and your actions and your interactions and

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Speaker 1: people and things and events and good and bad stuff

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Speaker 1: will happen to you because of you, inspite you, and

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Speaker 1: around you. But in the middle of it, you get

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Speaker 1: to self regulate, you get to self manage, and you

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Speaker 1: get to create your version of life. Your personal experience.

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Speaker 1: Number two is what they should teach you at school?

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Speaker 1: Is that? And this sounds this sounds, this sounds tough,

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Speaker 1: but it's true. And statistically you are quite likely to

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Speaker 1: end up unhealthy or in debt or divorced, and maybe

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Speaker 1: not happily married, maybe not healthy, and maybe not financially secure.

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Speaker 1: If you are typical slash average slash representative of current

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Speaker 1: data and statistics around this stuff, you don't need to

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Speaker 1: be though. This is the great news, right. I think

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Speaker 1: we need to understand what is real, what is going on,

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Speaker 1: And this is not negativity. This is observation and awareness

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Speaker 1: so that we can move into the next year, two, ten, fifteen,

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Speaker 1: twenty of our life with this knowledge. Like if you're

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Speaker 1: statistically average, then you are overweight or obese. So in Australia,

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Speaker 1: for example, sixty six percent of adults or overweight or obese.

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Speaker 1: But you don't need to be that's the good news.

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Speaker 1: About fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying that you shouldn't get married. Of course, first marriage's

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Speaker 1: first marriage. The number is a little the percentages a

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Speaker 1: little bit lower. Second marriages is higher, and third marriage

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Speaker 1: is way higher. Again, it's not to say don't get married,

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Speaker 1: it's to say, go into everything with your eyes wide open.

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Speaker 1: About forty seven percent of Australians are adult Australians are

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Speaker 1: currently in debt or some form of financial difficulty or hardship.

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Speaker 1: That's I read that in the ASSEK Report June twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty four, so very recently. And that's not to be negative,

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Speaker 1: that not to be pessimistic. That's to open our eyes

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Speaker 1: and pull back the curtain on what happens for many

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Speaker 1: adults in Australia and in many other places around the world. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: So why do we pull back that curtain and reveal

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Speaker 1: that stuff Because we don't need to be statistically average.

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Speaker 1: We don't need to. We don't need to end up

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Speaker 1: miserable or broke or unhealthy. We don't need to. But

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Speaker 1: we need to consciously, intentionally plan the life that we want.

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Speaker 1: What is the health that you want, what is the

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Speaker 1: financial reality that you would like to inhabit, what is

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Speaker 1: the career that you would like to have? What kind

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Speaker 1: of marriage and relationship do you want to have? Because

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Speaker 1: you will not accidentally end up in an awesome place.

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Speaker 1: And we spoke recently about living intentionally, living consciously, being

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Speaker 1: the designer of your life. And so you know, when

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Speaker 1: people talk to me, I spoke, what is today today's Friday?

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Speaker 1: I spoke someone can't remember earlier this week and somebody

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Speaker 1: who desperately wants to be married. And literally this person

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Speaker 1: said that to me, I desperately want to be married.

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Speaker 1: But you know, I'm worried about this, and I'm worried

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Speaker 1: about that, And just the fact that the word desperate

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Speaker 1: is in there is a red flag for me. And

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Speaker 1: the reality is that for some people, just using this

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Speaker 1: as a particular example, for some people the idea of

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Speaker 1: being married or marriage is a solution to some kind

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Speaker 1: of problem in their mind. But if the reason that

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Speaker 1: you want to get married is not because you're hopelessly

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Speaker 1: and helplessly in love, this is in my opinion, of course,

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Speaker 1: This is my opinion, and I will admit my opinions

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Speaker 1: and my expertise in the area of marriage may not

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Speaker 1: be worthless too. But it seems reasonable to me to

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Speaker 1: suggest that a really good starting point for marrying someone

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Speaker 1: in general terms is that you love the shit out

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Speaker 1: of them, not because they solve some kind of problem

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Speaker 1: or fill some kind of whole. At this stage of

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Speaker 1: your life's journey and some people, that is the conversation

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Speaker 1: that needs to be had. So if you don't want

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Speaker 1: to be average or typical, if you want to be

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Speaker 1: happily married for a long time, go into it with

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Speaker 1: your eyes wide open. Have healthy relationships, healthy conversations, in

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Speaker 1: habit a healthy paradigm. Do your best to create that

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Speaker 1: in terms of you and your partner. If you want

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Speaker 1: to be financially secure, if you want your health to

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Speaker 1: be close to optimal for you, then none of that

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Speaker 1: stuff will happen accidentally. Number three in my little list

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Speaker 1: of what they should teach you at school is the

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Speaker 1: have to success. Whatever that means is rarely fun, quick, easy, painless,

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Speaker 1: or comfortable. Also that's okay, that's okay, and that's okay

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Speaker 1: because when we do the hard, difficult, complicated, messy stuff,

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Speaker 1: and we lean into that, and we roll up our

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Speaker 1: sleeves and we embrace the messy, painful journey. We commit

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Speaker 1: to the work, We commit to the doing of what

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Speaker 1: is required. In the middle of that doing, in the

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Speaker 1: middle of that hard stuff, in the middle of that

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Speaker 1: uncertainty and discomfort, in the middle of all of that,

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Speaker 1: we are very likely to build resilience, competence, confidence, skill, understanding,

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Speaker 1: and to become a better version of us. Like I've

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Speaker 1: said many times, the journey is the gift. We think

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Speaker 1: it's all about where we go, and we think it's

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Speaker 1: all about the destiny. And there's nothing wrong with the destination,

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Speaker 1: of course, But the amount of people who have arrived

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Speaker 1: at the destination in inverted commas, the amount of people

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Speaker 1: that I've worked with that achieved what they set out

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Speaker 1: to and then sitting in the middle of that outcome,

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Speaker 1: haven't experienced something resembling, Oh, this is not what I

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Speaker 1: thought it would be. Oh, I'm where I wanted to be.

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Speaker 1: I achieved what I wanted to. I achieved the shape

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Speaker 1: or the size, or the bank balance or the career

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Speaker 1: or this. I got where I wanted to go. But

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Speaker 1: now that I'm in the middle of being at that destination,

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Speaker 1: something's missing. And so for me, that is why it

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Speaker 1: is an ongoing thing. And that doesn't mean that it's

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Speaker 1: an ongoing journey of anxiety and a lack of fulfillment,

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Speaker 1: but realizing that we're always on the journey. Even when

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Speaker 1: we reach our goals, life doesn't end. We don't hit

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Speaker 1: the brakes and go dnnah. Now nothing more. I have

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Speaker 1: no more ambition, I have no more goals. I'm just

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Speaker 1: now hands behind the old head. I'm going to lean

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Speaker 1: back in the bean bag and I'm done. Because we humans,

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Speaker 1: we need we need to be stimulated, we need opportunities,

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Speaker 1: we need challenges, we need to be solving problems. We

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Speaker 1: think that we're going to get to a point and

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Speaker 1: just retire. We ain't. I mean, well, some people do.

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Speaker 1: But when I say retire and be happy, retire from everything, no, No,

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Speaker 1: even if we retire from work, which I'm not saying,

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Speaker 1: don't retire from work. But we don't want to retire

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Speaker 1: from purpose. We don't want to retire from meaning. We

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Speaker 1: don't want to retire from learning. We don't want to

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Speaker 1: retire from connection and socialization. We don't want to retire

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Speaker 1: from having a reason and a purpose and a focus

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Speaker 1: and a and even if that mission is just to

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Speaker 1: grow a great garden, even if that mission is to

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Speaker 1: spend time with our grandkids and to be a good

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Speaker 1: influence in their life, even if that mission is to

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Speaker 1: have a purpose bigger than me, we don't want to

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Speaker 1: retire from life. Number four, Number four is truth. Number

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Speaker 1: four lesson number four is you can't do anything. You

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Speaker 1: can't do anything you set your mind to. So there's

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Speaker 1: a very common theme that that kids get. You can

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Speaker 1: do you can be whatever you want to be. You

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Speaker 1: can be whatever you want to be. And that sounds nice,

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Speaker 1: and it might make person who's been told that feel good,

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Speaker 1: and it might make the teller of that the share

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Speaker 1: of that message. You can be anything you want. But

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Speaker 1: it's not true. It's just not true. We can't we

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Speaker 1: can't all be world famous singers because we don't all

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Speaker 1: have that talent. We can't all run one hundred meters

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Speaker 1: in ten seconds because we don't all have those genetics.

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Speaker 1: We can't all be famous film producers and win Academy

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Speaker 1: Awards because they only hand out a certain amount. The

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Speaker 1: truth is that most of us have quite a bit

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Speaker 1: of potential and talent, that we're not operationalizing, we're not maximizing.

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Speaker 1: But also the truth is that we can't do everything,

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Speaker 1: and that is okay, So the whole you can do

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Speaker 1: anything you set your mind too. It seems like a

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Speaker 1: good idea to tell kids that, but when you tell

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Speaker 1: something to a kid that is not true, you potentially

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Speaker 1: set them up for disappointment and frustration and resentment. But yes,

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Speaker 1: we need to support and encourage them. Yes we need

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Speaker 1: to love them in a way which is supportive and

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Speaker 1: of value to them. But also kids get it. Kids

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Speaker 1: are not dumb. We can be practical. Like if somebody

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Speaker 1: had has said to me when I was ninety plus

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Speaker 1: kilos at fourteen, hey mate, you're probably not going to

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Speaker 1: be an ultra endurance runner anytime soon, although you probably

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Speaker 1: could become a much better runner than you are. You

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Speaker 1: probably could get in much better shape than you're in.

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Speaker 1: But with your genetics and but you might not make

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Speaker 1: the Olympics. But you know what you could You could

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Speaker 1: maybe you could, We're not sure, but you could definitely

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Speaker 1: be way fitter, way healthier, way lean. But I would

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Speaker 1: have gone, yeah, that makes sense. That wouldn't have broken

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Speaker 1: my heart. If some he had said to me, you

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Speaker 1: know when I was a kid, Hey, Craig, you're probably

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Speaker 1: not You're probably not going to be the next John Mayer,

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Speaker 1: even though John Mayer is younger than me. But you're

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Speaker 1: not going to be the next whatever Elvis, right because

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Speaker 1: you sing like shit. Bro, You're an awesome human. We

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Speaker 1: love you, you're funny, you're a good community. But you can't sing.

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Speaker 1: But nonetheless we love you. So maybe those Grammy awards

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Speaker 1: are not going to come your way, but that's okay.

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Speaker 1: That's okay because you're a great kid and your love.

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Speaker 1: So there's a way that we can be practical and

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Speaker 1: realistic and still encourage and support not only kids but adults,

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Speaker 1: but the whole telling people, you know, this self help hyperbole,

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Speaker 1: this feel good fucking fluff that doesn't practically help people

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Speaker 1: in the real world. When you tell people that they

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Speaker 1: can do anything when they clearly can't. It's not like, oh,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing that's beyond your reach. No, that isn't true.

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Speaker 1: Any things. Plenty of things that are beyond everyone's reach.

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Speaker 1: And so yes, let's be positive, let's be supportive. Also,

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Speaker 1: let's be practical. Lesson number five on what they should

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Speaker 1: teach you at school. I might. I've actually got twelve,

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Speaker 1: so I might cut this at number six and maybe

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Speaker 1: do a part two. So number five is, sometimes the

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Speaker 1: people who will undermine, backstab and sabotage you will be

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Speaker 1: family and friends, and that that's not what we want

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Speaker 1: to hear. But if you're a grown up, you know

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Speaker 1: this to be true. Maybe it hasn't been true for you,

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Speaker 1: but you know that it's been true for people you know.

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Speaker 1: And if you are typical, then then you have had

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Speaker 1: this happen to you somebody that you care about, somebody

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Speaker 1: that maybe you really loved. I don't think I'm being

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Speaker 1: wildly affected by this more than others, but I've had

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Speaker 1: I would say it doesn't matter. I was going to

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Speaker 1: give it doesn't matter. But I've had multiple people that

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Speaker 1: I really loved, that I really cared about, that I

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Speaker 1: really trusted, that I really respected, that I really invested.

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Speaker 1: You know a lot of me in and more than

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Speaker 1: one or two people have done some horrible shit people

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Speaker 1: that I loved. And that's okay. I'm not sooking, I'm

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Speaker 1: not bitching. I'm just saying what happened on planet Craig,

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Speaker 1: and that's okay, because that happens to us. And by

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Speaker 1: the way, I'm not saying I'm great everybody else's shit.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying that because if I'm being self aware

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Speaker 1: and honest and transparent, have I ever been a shit

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Speaker 1: friend to someone? Of course I have? Of course I

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Speaker 1: have I ever done the wrong thing? Well? Of course,

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Speaker 1: of course we all do dumb shit, and we all

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Speaker 1: sometimes where self centered fucks, and sometimes the problem is us.

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Speaker 1: But I think it's good to be practical and realistic

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Speaker 1: about trust and respect and the place that people that

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Speaker 1: we allow people to have in our head, heart and life,

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Speaker 1: and know that there will be times. Hopefully most people

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Speaker 1: will surprise you pleasantly, but if you are, if you're

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Speaker 1: a regular run of the mill human like me and

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Speaker 1: most of you listening, then then you're definitely going to

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Speaker 1: have people who are going to fuck you over. Now,

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Speaker 1: the challenge there is how we respond to that. There

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Speaker 1: will be people that you respect and trust and have

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Speaker 1: invested time and energy and love and caring that will

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Speaker 1: do the wrong thing, and that while that is not okay,

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Speaker 1: it kind of has to be okay because you're just

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Speaker 1: going to have to deal with that. As I've had

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Speaker 1: to deal with that. Now. The flip side of that,

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Speaker 1: which is fucking great news, is that there will be

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Speaker 1: people that come into your life and they wind up

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Speaker 1: being an unexpected gift, a blessing, people who undersell and

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Speaker 1: over deliver and you don't even know why. But these

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Speaker 1: people are just fucking amazing. They are amazing. They are kind,

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Speaker 1: they are generous, they are supportive, they are helpful, they

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Speaker 1: are loving, and they will cheer you on on your

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Speaker 1: path to success and purpose and happiness. And there are

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Speaker 1: just as many shitty people as I've had fucked me over.

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Speaker 1: I've had that many. I think probably that many people

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Speaker 1: who maybe more, who have been just an unexpected gift

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Speaker 1: in my life. And I'm eternally grateful for those people.

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Speaker 1: And let's go with less than number six. That what

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Speaker 1: I think we should teach, or hope we could teach,

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Speaker 1: if not in school, to our young people outside of school.

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Speaker 1: Lessons that I wish I learned when I was younger

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Speaker 1: is that your intentions are often not someone else's experience.

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Speaker 1: That is, they're not getting what you think you're giving

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Speaker 1: at some stage, one hundred percent. At some stage, your

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Speaker 1: good intentions will absolutely produce a bad outcome. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to say that again, at some stage, your noble, generous, kind,

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Speaker 1: good intentions will absolutely create a bad outcome, a bad result.

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Speaker 1: And that is because what you're thinking about what you're doing,

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Speaker 1: your intention, your motive, your reason, let's say that's noble, generous, kind,

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Speaker 1: loving People don't live in your mind. People don't live

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Speaker 1: in your intentions. People don't live in your thinking. All

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Speaker 1: they do is respond to what you do. You do

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Speaker 1: something with good intentions. They don't know what your intentions are, necessarily,

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Speaker 1: but they do know what you did because they were

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Speaker 1: part of what you did. Because what you did to them,

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Speaker 1: the words you said, the thing you did, the behavior,

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Speaker 1: the action, whatever it is, they experience that firsthand and

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Speaker 1: then they have to try to decode that, break that down,

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Speaker 1: tell themselves a story about it. And quite often the

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Speaker 1: story that they have about your behavior is not the

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00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 1: story that you have about your behavior. So understand that

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Speaker 1: as you're going in. How many times have I as

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Speaker 1: a teacher, as a coach, as a mentor, how many

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Speaker 1: times have I said something or done something with good

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Speaker 1: intention that didn't produce a good outcome? Plenty plenty? And

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Speaker 1: will I do that ever? In the future of course,

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Speaker 1: of course, and so this is not thing to panic about,

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00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 1: but rather something to be aware of. And this awareness

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00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:10,199
Speaker 1: is great because it opens a door for you and

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00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:14,679
Speaker 1: I to start to think about and understand the reality

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00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 1: and experience and mindset of others. Which, as I've said

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00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 1: many times before, understanding someone else's version of right now,

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00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: understanding someone else's thinking, someone else's story while not necessarily

403
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: agreeing with it, just understanding it is an interpersonal superpower.

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00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: So let me recap those. So Number one is life

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Speaker 1: doesn't care about your feelings, doesn't care about your self esteem,

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00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 1: your happiness, or your health. That's okay, because that's your job.

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00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 1: Number two is, statistically, we ain't all going to end

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00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 1: up in a great place, whether that's with our marriage

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00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 1: or with our dough or with our health. But again,

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00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: we're not going to accidentally just see what happens. We're

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00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 1: going to consciously, deliberately and intentionally create the health state,

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00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 1: create the financial state, and create the kind of relationship

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Speaker 1: hopefully that works for us over the long term. Number

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Speaker 1: three is that the path to success is often painful, messy,

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Speaker 1: and uncomfortable, and that's okay. That's okay because that's where

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00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 1: we learn, gorow, evolve, develop, build resilience, understanding, awareness, competence, confidence,

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00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: all that stuff that I always talk about. So pain,

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Speaker 1: mess mayhem, not only is it part of the human experience,

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Speaker 1: Absolutely fucking fine. Number four, you can't do anything. Well,

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00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: you can do lots of things, but you can't do

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00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 1: anything that you set your mind to. As I said before,

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00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: you can do lots of things. But this whole notion

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Speaker 1: of telling children that they can be whatever they want

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00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: to be and do whatever they want, they can become anything.

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00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:05,239
Speaker 1: It's a nice sentiment, but it's not fucking true. So

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00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 1: we need to support and encourage and love kids. Of course,

427
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 1: build their stealth, self esteem, build their confidence, but also

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Speaker 1: don't tell them things that aren't true. Don't tell don't

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Speaker 1: tell Craig Harper when he's ten that he can become

430
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Speaker 1: a world famous singer when he doesn't have a good

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Speaker 1: singing voice, or that he could become an elite endurance

432
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 1: runner when he doesn't have the genetics to be an

433
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Speaker 1: elite endurance runner. Could I become a decent runner for

434
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Speaker 1: my body type of course? And number five was sometimes

435
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Speaker 1: the people that are going to fuck you over, let's

436
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 1: be honest, are friends and family. Sometimes the people that

437
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 1: are closest to you are going to be the worst.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes not all people, one or two people, And of

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Speaker 1: course the flip side of that is always going to

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Speaker 1: be also going to be amazing fucking humans who come

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Speaker 1: into your life and maybe you don't even deserve them sometimes,

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Speaker 1: but they just come in and they're awesome. They're a gift.

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Speaker 1: They're a gift. And the final one that we just

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Speaker 1: spoke about is that your intentions are not always someone

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Speaker 1: else's experience. So yes, we want to help and support others,

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00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 1: and we want to say the right thing, but we

447
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 1: also need to be as much as is possible. Theory

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00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 1: of mine remember understanding someone else's reality as much as

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Speaker 1: possibly we would to understand what are their needs, what

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00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 1: will work, what behavior or what words will work for

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Speaker 1: this person, what is their version of going of what's

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Speaker 1: going on right now? Alrighty, team, it's been real. See

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00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 1: tomorrow