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Speaker 1: Peach Shepherd, welcome back to you project.

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Speaker 2: Thank you Craig Harper for having me, Thank you Tiffany Cook,

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Speaker 2: thank you everyone, Thank you all boys, thank you Linesman.

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Speaker 1: Is that what we do? We thank everybody absolutely absolutely,

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Speaker 1: and that's it. We're done over and now looking back

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Speaker 1: Tomara with more of the same here on Melbourne's Hi

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Speaker 1: tiff Hi, you guys were having the most interesting conversation

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Speaker 1: before we actually press the go button. So can we

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Speaker 1: just revisit that because Pea Shepherd is now in cyclone Central,

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Speaker 1: living on in Queensland, I should say, in bris Vegas,

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Speaker 1: and just repeat that little story you told us, the

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Speaker 1: little bit of wisdom that your neighbor gave you, and

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Speaker 1: then your subsequent ignorant reasons but understandable. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean I'm a Victorian at heart. We've only

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Speaker 2: lived in Brisbane for two years. And so I was

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Speaker 2: outside putting the bins out and my next door aber

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Speaker 2: said to me, so you all cyclone prepped for Alfred

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Speaker 2: And I said, mate, like, you got to tell me

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Speaker 2: what that meant because I have no idea what I'm doing,

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Speaker 2: Like it's the house safe as a secure And he said, oh,

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Speaker 2: we chucked the bins out of the house, take everything

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Speaker 2: that's in the backyard and put it inside. You don't

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Speaker 2: want any projectile missiles flying around. I said that's fair

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Speaker 2: enough and he said, oh, and also you probably want

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Speaker 2: to fill up your bathtub full of water.

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Speaker 1: I said why and he said, because you might not

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Speaker 1: have drinking water for a few days. I'm so am I.

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Speaker 2: Drinking out of the bath or like, what's going on?

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Speaker 2: Apparently that's what we could be doing.

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Speaker 1: Well, you may well be well and for people who

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Speaker 1: are not in Australia. So we're recording this on Wednesday,

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Speaker 1: the fifth of March, and it's due cyclone as a

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Speaker 1: George cyclone for it, sorry, Cyclone Alfred is due in

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Speaker 1: Queensland tomorrow. Am I correct with that? Yeah? Tomorrow night apparently.

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Speaker 1: And what's the state of mind of people? It's everyone

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Speaker 1: pretty cool and organized or people run around with their

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Speaker 1: undies on their head. What's going on?

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Speaker 2: It feels a little bit like the latter it Actually,

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Speaker 2: I don't know if this is just because it's how

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Speaker 2: I've felt because I'm again an ignorant Victorian.

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Speaker 1: It's not experienced this before.

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Speaker 2: But the closest thing I've compared it to is like

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Speaker 2: the start of COVID twenty twenty in March, right, everyone's

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Speaker 2: like there's a press conference every six hours. We don't

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Speaker 2: know what's going on, but you probably just want to

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Speaker 2: go get some supplies, don't know why. So there's nothing

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Speaker 2: in the supermarket shells, you know, people are stocking up

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Speaker 2: on toilet paper.

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Speaker 1: For like just god knows why.

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Speaker 2: And then it's sort of eerie when you look outside

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Speaker 2: people are mowing the lawns and like packing everything away,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know, that's the closest thing I've found

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Speaker 2: it to be. So it feels a bit like the

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Speaker 2: ONI's on the head in your example.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well, I mean, obviously, the most famous

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Speaker 1: cyclone story in Australian history that we know of anyway

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Speaker 1: in the last one hundred or two hundred years is

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Speaker 1: Cyclone Tracy Darwin was at nineteen seventy four. You're both

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Speaker 1: too young to remember, but Tiff, could you just google

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Speaker 1: that for me? Cyclone Tracy was at nineteen seventy four.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, well that absolutely pretty much destroyed Darwin. So

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Speaker 1: let's hope there's nothing like a repeat of that. But

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Speaker 1: compared to like about quarter of our listeners, which I

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Speaker 1: didn't really know till the other day. On the EU Project,

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Speaker 1: about quart of our listeners are from the States, right,

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Speaker 1: and they're not unfamiliar with cyclones and tornadoes and bloody hurricanes.

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Speaker 1: And what was.

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Speaker 3: It ye nineteen seventy four, twenty first of December?

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Speaker 1: How many people died in that? I think there was

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Speaker 1: not the swow Wow, that's a significant natural disaster. So

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Speaker 1: let's hope you don't get any of that.

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Speaker 2: Pete was not too I actually speaking of I spoke

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Speaker 2: to a colleague of mine who's American this morning, and

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Speaker 2: the thing I learned in our conversation was, I think

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Speaker 2: this is true. She was talking about a hurricane, and

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Speaker 2: I was saying, what's the difference between a hurricane and

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Speaker 2: a cyclone? And I'm pretty sure the difference is one's

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Speaker 2: North American, that's the hurricane. One's the Southern hemisphere, which

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Speaker 2: is a cyclone. Sorry, one's in the northern hemisphere. Ones

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Speaker 2: the Southern hemisphere. They're actually the same thing.

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Speaker 1: Well, TIF will TIF will get into bloody check that.

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Speaker 1: Let's factor Jerry, Google or maybe Lai or chat chatters.

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Speaker 1: So new boyfriend, what is yeah? Well, how have you

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Speaker 1: been anyway? While while our personal assistant is finding that out.

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Speaker 1: How I'm good. It's been I guess a few months

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Speaker 1: since we caught up. It's a new year.

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Speaker 2: I've just got back from a couple of weeks in

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Speaker 2: Japan to reset with the family, which was amazing. Got

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Speaker 2: to have some time off and now kind of get

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Speaker 2: back into work and get back into trying to, you know,

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Speaker 2: help people in whatever way I can through the lens

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Speaker 2: of sort of leadership development. So all is well, pending

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Speaker 2: the you know, the upcoming cyclone that we've already talked about.

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Speaker 1: Perfect how you traveled? Yeah, I'm all right. I'm allegedly

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Speaker 1: on the home straight of my PhD, which is I'm

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Speaker 1: sick of talking about it. I'm sure my fucking listeners are.

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Speaker 1: How long is the home straight? How long is the

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Speaker 1: home straight? Well? I might get this wrong by a

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Speaker 1: day or two, but I think my everything's got to

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Speaker 1: be done, dusted, handed in by July seventeen, which means

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Speaker 1: it's actually got to be like my PhD ends on

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Speaker 1: July seventeen, So I'm currently So I've got a sorry

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Speaker 1: to bore you everyone. So I did one, two, I

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Speaker 1: did three. I ran three quite big studies and of

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Speaker 1: those three studies. I'm writing two maybe three empirical papers.

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Speaker 1: I'm also writing a thing called a systematic literature review,

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Speaker 1: which is much bigger than an empirical paper. Typically like

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Speaker 1: to start to finish writing a systematic doing all the

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Speaker 1: research for a systematic review, then writing it, and that

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Speaker 1: today is about a fourteen month journey. And then I'm

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Speaker 1: also writing my thesis, which is basically for people who

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Speaker 1: are wondering what the fuck is a thesis, it's almost

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Speaker 1: like the story of your PhD journey. So this is

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Speaker 1: what we looked at, and this is what we did

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Speaker 1: and why we didn't, how we did it, this is

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Speaker 1: what we discovered, and this is why the world needs

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Speaker 1: this research. And this with a whole in the science

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Speaker 1: and the research, and this is what I did to

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Speaker 1: part fill that hole. And this is what we discovered,

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Speaker 1: and this is what it means scientifically but also practically.

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Speaker 1: So I've submitted one empirical paper which I'm waiting to

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Speaker 1: so I need to have had at least one paper

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Speaker 1: published as in so you can either do it by thesis,

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Speaker 1: whereas you just basically write about an eighty thousand word

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Speaker 1: essentially a book, but that those eighty thousand words have

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Speaker 1: got to be absolutely fucking perfect, like not one comma,

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Speaker 1: not one nothing like, everything's got to be perfect. That well,

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Speaker 1: the part I've chosen, which is not easier, it's just different,

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Speaker 1: is by publications. So you need to have your work,

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Speaker 1: your papers published by academic journals. I'll be submitting three,

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Speaker 1: maybe four, it depends on how I go over the

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Speaker 1: next few months. I've submitted one. I'll have my litle

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Speaker 1: review first draft finished by the end of this week,

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Speaker 1: and then I've got to write one maybe two more.

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Speaker 1: But because I've got all that, you know, I've done

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Speaker 1: all my research, I've got all the data. I've done

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Speaker 1: all my what's called academic milestones where you go and

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Speaker 1: stand before the board and justify your you know, your

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Speaker 1: research and please don't kick me out. So I've done

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Speaker 1: all that. So when you say so, it's just up

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Speaker 1: to writing shit. Now, people go, oh, well, that'll be

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Speaker 1: easy because you're a writer. It's like, nah, it's not

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Speaker 1: the same, and can I I've told this once before,

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Speaker 1: but I don't think i've told you so. You you

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Speaker 1: speak professionally, You're great, I've seen you your world class

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Speaker 1: I speak professionally. I'll let everyone else be the judge

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Speaker 1: of whether or not I'm any good. But I can

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Speaker 1: certainly say that talking to a thousand people, I'm not nervous.

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Speaker 1: For me, it's fun. Same for you, I tell you,

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Speaker 1: standing in front of a board of four professors or

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Speaker 1: essentially they're fucking judges right standing in front and talking

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Speaker 1: for twenty minutes, right, So you've got to talk for

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Speaker 1: twenty minutes, which for me, I'm not even warmed up

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Speaker 1: for twenty minutes, right, and then you get grilled for

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Speaker 1: the balance of the hour, which is forty minutes on

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Speaker 1: your research, design, methodology outcomes, why you didn't do this,

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Speaker 1: why you did that. That is for me, the hardest

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Speaker 1: speaking gig or those four things I've ever had in

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Speaker 1: my life. And can I tell you, I'm shit at it.

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Speaker 1: I'm so not in my natural habitat because you know how,

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Speaker 1: when you go somewhere you've got a fair level of

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Speaker 1: confidence and maybe they even know who you are. There,

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Speaker 1: may be a little bit excited to hear you talk, right,

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Speaker 1: they're like, oh this is that guy? Fuck yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: or better still, if it's public event, they've paid to

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Speaker 1: see you, right, so they want to be there. Well,

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Speaker 1: in front of these people and completely understandably you're just

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Speaker 1: a number. You're like three, five, one, seven two at

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Speaker 1: Monash or whatever you are. So anyway, anyway, it's like

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Speaker 1: I'm either going to be really sad or happy in

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Speaker 1: about four or five months. If were you looking up

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Speaker 1: something for us.

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Speaker 3: Yes, a hurricane occurs in the North Atlantic Ocean, the

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Speaker 3: Northeast Pacific Ocean, and the South Pacific Ocean, and a

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Speaker 3: cyclone occurs in the South Pacific Ocean and the Indian Ocean,

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Speaker 3: and they are essentially the same thing.

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Speaker 1: That to me seems dumb. It's like it's the same Wow,

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Speaker 1: the same thing. Yeah, yeah, do you know what else?

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Speaker 1: We'll actually have a proper podcast in a minute, everyone,

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Speaker 1: we'll actually talk about something that Pete's here for. Do

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Speaker 1: you know what I learned last night that I didn't

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Speaker 1: know the Isle of Man? Either of you two know

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Speaker 1: anything about the Isle of Man. So the Isle of

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Speaker 1: Man is it's its own, independently governed territory. I might

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Speaker 1: fuck a bit of this up. So it's independent of

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Speaker 1: Ireland and Scotland and England. It's in the middle of

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Speaker 1: the Irish Sea and it is roughly equidistant from all

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Speaker 1: three of those nations, right, So it's I think it's

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Speaker 1: like thirty odd k's from England and forty and fifty

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Speaker 1: from Ireland and Scotland give or tape. But it's vaguely

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Speaker 1: in the middle of those three. It's self governing, has

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Speaker 1: its own parliament, has its own like fucking jail. It's

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Speaker 1: and only eighty eight thousand people live there, and it's

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Speaker 1: it's not a country though, but it's a self governing something. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so interesting. I watched this and I thought, there's a

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Speaker 1: place in the world. I know pretty much fucking nothing

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Speaker 1: about it. There's plenty of to our listeners in the

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Speaker 1: Isle of Man. But you know what I do. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: this is what I do. So I watch you shout

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Speaker 1: out to Brian, shout out to Brian from the Isle

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Speaker 1: of Man. But I watched something like that. Then I go, fuck,

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Speaker 1: I want to live there. I wonder how much a

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Speaker 1: house is, and then I go real estate Island Man.

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Speaker 1: Then I go down this rabbit hole and I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they have their own currency, they're not part of the EU.

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Speaker 1: So interesting. And you think Australia is relatively small, It's like, wow,

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Speaker 1: we're a fucking metropolis compared to their anyway. So that's

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Speaker 1: what I'm going for Christmas. What's the most remote place, Well,

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Speaker 1: both of you have been to in the world, as

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Speaker 1: in just a not a big place. That is a

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Speaker 1: good quest. I think maybe.

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Speaker 2: I mean, Cuba is pretty big in terms of there's

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Speaker 2: a lot of people that live there, but it's remote

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Speaker 2: in the sense that it's very difficult to actually go

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Speaker 2: to and visit because of historical government relations. I've been

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Speaker 2: to Cuba, so maybe Cuba. Yeah, but there's too plenty

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Speaker 2: of people. Yeah, Yeah, it's very interesting. It's basically nine

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Speaker 2: and sixty, isn't it. It's basically your Yeah, it's like

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Speaker 2: you're traveling to nine a sixty. I remember, I'll never

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Speaker 2: forget staying in this. You stay in people's houses and

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Speaker 2: they just have lound rooms and stuff set up with

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Speaker 2: beds and and I remember being in like the lound

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Speaker 2: room and they were making us, I don't know, a

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Speaker 2: coffee or something, and the owner of the house came

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Speaker 2: home with a piece of like raw meat in his hand.

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Speaker 2: Oh he just that he just ran down to the

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Speaker 2: local person and bought from And they didn't have a bag,

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Speaker 2: they didn't have a cooling system. They this has had

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Speaker 2: a piece of meating's hand and they started cooking it

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Speaker 2: up like that was that was the means of transporting

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Speaker 2: this piece of meat.

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Speaker 1: Wow, a piece of meat holding a piece of meat

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Speaker 1: and did you did that subsequently become your dinner? Well

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Speaker 1: I ended up having the vegetarian onward because I was

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Speaker 1: a bit scared.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but it was fascinating. No Internet, like it's sue

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Speaker 2: was super remote. Yeah, it was like being in the sixties.

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Speaker 2: Not that I was there to comment.

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Speaker 1: But I felt like and also sorry tip before we

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Speaker 1: go to you. But but also they don't they don't

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Speaker 1: bring new things in, like they don't import cars into

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Speaker 1: Cuba or am I correct?

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Speaker 2: Everyone's driving around in these old muscle cars. Yeah it's crazy. Yeah, horses,

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Speaker 2: it's it's bizarre. But it was such a Yeah, it

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Speaker 2: was a cool experience.

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Speaker 3: Tiff for me would have to be the Himalayas. I

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Speaker 3: guess a few days we were up in Negar, which

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Speaker 3: is you're part of the Himalays, where there were just

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Speaker 3: there's nobody except for the odd horse whilla transporting horses

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Speaker 3: or cows across the and that was amazing.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, wow, you help there you go. Like, I

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Speaker 1: went to a really small island which is part of

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Speaker 1: Anawatu called a Spiritu Santo, which I think I've spoken about,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know. The total population is two hundred.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what it is, but

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Speaker 1: it was when I went, it was like the airport

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Speaker 1: was basically a shed and you have to get a

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Speaker 1: small This is literally what happened. So Port Vila is

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Speaker 1: the capital unless I'm fucking this up of Vanuatu, and

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Speaker 1: I had to get It was for a wedding. I

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Speaker 1: had to get. I was going to a wedding on a

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Speaker 1: spiritual santo and I had to get a light plane there.

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Speaker 1: Now this was in my bodybuilding days and I wasn't

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Speaker 1: in Christine condition. Let's say that tiff I was off

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Speaker 1: season fat. I was off season fat, which is a

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Speaker 1: euphemism for I was just fat, right anyway, But you

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Speaker 1: can't say that anymore, even if it's about yourself. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I was fat as fuck. Let's just go with that now.

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Speaker 1: I had been fatter though anyway. So here's the fucking

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Speaker 1: terrifying thing. Before you get on the plane, they have

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Speaker 1: to weigh you. So it was an eight person plane.

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Speaker 1: They have to weigh all the luggage, they have to

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Speaker 1: weigh all the people. And I get on and this

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Speaker 1: little Vanawatuan man who was just beautiful and weighed as

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Speaker 1: much as my fucking breakfast. I get on the scales

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Speaker 1: and he goes, you're too fat. You're too fat. That's

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Speaker 1: he said to me. You're too like literally, you're too fat.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, pardon, and he goes, you're too fat, like

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Speaker 1: quite emphatically, no pun intended. So I'm like, well, dude,

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Speaker 1: I'm I don't know what to tell you. I can't

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Speaker 1: be less fat instantly. I'll take that under advisement and

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Speaker 1: do something moving forward. But right now I weigh one

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Speaker 1: hundred and twelve killers. Now to give that some context,

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Speaker 1: today I weigh eighty four or five. So yeah, back

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Speaker 1: in therapy for fat arts. But yeah, that's brilliant. Come

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Speaker 1: back tomorrow. You're too fat today? Yeah, okay, now worry

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Speaker 1: yeah yeah, no. We basically he literally worked for words,

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Speaker 1: said you're too fat to get on the plane. Went,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe we need to. I need to

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Speaker 1: take out some of my fucking hand cream out of

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Speaker 1: the my moisturizer kid or something. I don't know, take

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Speaker 1: out the cakes I've stored in my bag. Anyway, that

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Speaker 1: was my that was my the beginning of my trip

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Speaker 1: to literally one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, talk about yeah no they did. I just say, yeah, no, yeah, nothing, no,

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Speaker 1: no technology. Yeah it was it was like stepping back

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Speaker 1: five hundred years. But it was beautiful. But anyway, so mate,

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Speaker 1: what I wanted to chat to you about today, Surprisingly

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Speaker 1: not cyclones or tornadoes or hurricanes or remote locations, although

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Speaker 1: all of that was interesting. I've had a phone. How

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Speaker 1: much of your work is one on one coaching?

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I've got a percentage on it,

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Speaker 2: but I try to cap at at about ten at

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Speaker 2: any one time, So I tend not to have more

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Speaker 2: than ten one on ones at any one time because

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Speaker 2: that enables me to then also be able to group

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Speaker 2: workshops and speaking and sort of longest longer programs.

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Speaker 1: But even those longer programs now.

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Speaker 2: I'm saying that are complimented by one on one coaching.

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Speaker 2: So I guess if you looked at it from an

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Speaker 2: hour's perspective, it'd be something like twenty five to thirty percent, right,

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Speaker 2: So it used to be more like eighty or ninety.

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Speaker 1: Now it's more like twenty five thirty. Yeah, I want

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Speaker 1: to talk today about coaching and get a little bit

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Speaker 1: of clarity. Like all of us do coaching in some

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Speaker 1: shape or form. I know Tip coaches, people like coach,

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Speaker 1: some people not too much anymore, just because my life

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Speaker 1: doesn't really allow it. But I still did. It's pieces,

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Speaker 1: and you do quite a bit of it. So could

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Speaker 1: you do you just explain to people because I think

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of vagueness totally, or perhaps the lack

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Speaker 1: of clarity might be a better term around what coaching

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Speaker 1: is now. I know it's not one thing, it's many things,

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Speaker 1: But can you explain to us what it's meant to be? Anyway?

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Speaker 2: I'll do my best because I've I think I've evolved

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Speaker 2: in my own processing of what this means and experimenting

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Speaker 2: with what this means from where I was perhaps when

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Speaker 2: we first started chatting about this, probably years ago now

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Speaker 2: to now. I think I think of coaching as a posture.

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Speaker 2: I think of coaching as almost almost a philosophy, whereby

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Speaker 2: you have in your mind this idea that the person

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Speaker 2: you're speaking with probably has the solution, The idea the

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Speaker 2: insight the answer to the challenge that they might be facing,

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Speaker 2: and your role as the coach is to try and

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Speaker 2: help them realize that, to try and help them get

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Speaker 2: unstuck from wherever they may be stuck in. Now what

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Speaker 2: I've come to evolve into spending a lot more time

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Speaker 2: on because of the nature of the conversations I enjoy

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Speaker 2: and because of the nature of my experience and my

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Speaker 2: area of expertise. I guess you could call it that is,

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Speaker 2: because there's so many different flavors of coaching, is I've

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Speaker 2: tended to focus a lot more on this idea of

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Speaker 2: like a leadership or executive coaching, which is ultimately helping

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Speaker 2: leaders within organizations or executives within organizations that might have

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Speaker 2: very specific challenges like I have to have this difficult

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Speaker 2: conversation with the subordinate and I don't know how to

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Speaker 2: have it. Can we talk about what I might do

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Speaker 2: to navigate that. How am I managing my own emotions?

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Speaker 2: How am I managing their emotions? How do I navigate

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Speaker 2: that context? So I think broadly speaking, it's about sort

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Speaker 2: of helping people get out of their own way by

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Speaker 2: asking questions and by holding space and by taking on

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Speaker 2: this posture of like you probably already have the answer,

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Speaker 2: I just need to help you realize that. And then

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Speaker 2: I've narrowed it into the context of being a leader

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Speaker 2: in an organization, especially that's where I tend to spend

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Speaker 2: most of my time. Now not always the case, but

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Speaker 2: that's where I spend my time. Now, what do you

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Speaker 2: two think?

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Speaker 1: You agree? Do you disagree? Yeah, that's interesting. I love

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Speaker 1: all of that. I tip interrupt whenever you want. What

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Speaker 1: do you think? And I know it varies, right, And

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Speaker 1: by the way, everyone you probably not going to get

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Speaker 1: a convergent consensus. You're probably not going to get a

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Speaker 1: single definition or philosophy. But just because there is a

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Speaker 1: proliferation of coaching courses and accreditations and fucking and some

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Speaker 1: of my look at you know, and I just think,

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Speaker 1: by the way, I don't think I'm the high watermark

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Speaker 1: by any means. And i just go, old mates done

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Speaker 1: a three day coaching course. I'm like, brilliant, well if

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Speaker 1: and I go, I don't know, maybe it's amazing, maybe

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Speaker 1: it's not. I just think the bars too so low,

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Speaker 1: and it's a it's not even an industry because it's

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Speaker 1: so different and there's no regulation like there's no anyone

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Speaker 1: can call themselves a life coach. Anyone go, I'm a

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Speaker 1: life coach? Cool? What is that? Even it's not really

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Speaker 1: a recognized thing in an academic sense, which is not

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Speaker 1: to say there are not brilliant coaches. There are. In fact,

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Speaker 1: I think some of the best coaches have next this

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Speaker 1: will get me in trouble sometimes no actual accreditation or

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Speaker 1: academic you know, that's me. Yeah, I mean yeah, not that.

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Speaker 2: Not that I'm one of the best, but like that's

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Speaker 2: I am one of those people that I don't have a

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Speaker 2: formal Bachelor of coaching. And people don't really like this,

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Speaker 2: but it depends, you know. It's like you could literally,

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think we all know someone who's got

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Speaker 2: a psych degree, and psych degree is not good or bad.

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Speaker 2: And some people with a psych degree you can sit

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Speaker 2: down with them and it's brilliant and they're amazing. And

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Speaker 2: that may or may not be because of their psychic

392
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Speaker 2: degree or their sociology degree, or their masters or their

393
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Speaker 2: PhD or their whatever it is maybe related or you know,

394
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Speaker 2: like one of the smartest people that I know in

395
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Speaker 2: the world is my dad's best friend, who's my surrogate dad,

396
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Speaker 2: Gil he finished school at year eight, and he is

397
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Speaker 2: profoundly fucking.

398
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Speaker 1: More intelligent than me and wiser than me. I'm a

399
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Speaker 1: dumb ass compared to him. Right, So, and he's been

400
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Speaker 1: coaching people without calling it coaching his whole lot, because

401
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: he's a brilliant leader, a brilliant teacher. There was just

402
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Speaker 1: no label, Like when he grew up, that wasn't a thing. Yeah,

403
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Speaker 1: what are your thoughts? TIFFs? Like you coach people? What's

404
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Speaker 1: your philosophy?

405
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Speaker 2: Yeah?

406
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Speaker 3: I guess that's why I moved away from the term

407
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Speaker 3: coach and called myself the mind pt like and when

408
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Speaker 3: I do my coaching with groups, I introduced myself as

409
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Speaker 3: the facilitator of the thing we're doing, you know, life,

410
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Speaker 3: because I think everyone has a different idea of what

411
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Speaker 3: coaching is. The book that I've just written a chapter

412
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Speaker 3: in is a collaboration between twenty four other coaches that

413
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Speaker 3: are talking about their concept of where they've gone beyond

414
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Speaker 3: the traditional model of coaching and how they do things differently,

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Speaker 3: which is really cool. I can't wait to read all

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Speaker 3: the other aspects of that.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, do either of you think that coaching

418
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Speaker 1: has a brain and the image problem?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, yeah, definitely, And I agree with Tiff

420
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Speaker 2: that I've in certain contexts, I don't even like using

421
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Speaker 2: that word to describe what I'm doing. I think facilitator,

422
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 2: for sure, is a great word to describe, especially if

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Speaker 2: it's a group. You know, you could call it a

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Speaker 2: group coaching session, or we could call it I'm facilitating

425
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Speaker 2: you through this workshop, and it's sort of the same

426
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Speaker 2: posture in a way, but it comes with a lot

427
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Speaker 2: less baggage and image problems. I tend to agree with that.

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Speaker 1: It is a little bit cringey. You know what else

429
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,919
Speaker 1: is cringey? This is hilarious the two things that I do.

430
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 1: What else is cringe is personal trainer. I mean, like

431
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 1: and shout out to all the personal trainers. I love

432
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,959
Speaker 1: personal trainers, and I grew up in the personal training space.

433
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 1: But it's not you know that that's not necessarily held

434
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 1: in super high regard, is it.

435
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's interesting that some support that there's like certain

436
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:16,479
Speaker 2: associations with status that we make weaving the broader population

437
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 2: when we hear these terms, And I think a lot

438
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 2: of it's based on our own experience or based on

439
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 2: the fact that we know this person we went to

440
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 2: high school with who's now decided they're a coach and

441
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,639
Speaker 2: because they do their to our course, like you mentioned,

442
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,159
Speaker 2: and you're maybe a little skeptical about whether that's actually

443
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 2: possible and legitimate. And so I think you're right that

444
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 2: there is an image problem. And it doesn't mean there

445
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 2: aren't awesome coaches out there, because I think you two

446
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 2: are clearly awesome coaches. I think I'm doing an okay

447
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 2: job based on the you know, thousands of people I've

448
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:43,199
Speaker 2: coached at this point.

449
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 1: But that's not to say.

450
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 2: There aren't people out there that are a little more

451
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 2: a little more shaky in terms of their credentials.

452
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:52,679
Speaker 1: I actually go on to.

453
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 3: The tough thing with personal training. I mean, no, I

454
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 3: did my qualifications years ago. But you're in a tough

455
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 3: spot as a personal training because you go and do

456
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 3: these courses and half of them are shit. You leave

457
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 3: the course, you don't know how to train, how to

458
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,959
Speaker 3: train anyone. The way that you've gone to learn. What

459
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 3: you've learned is how to not get sued and how

460
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 3: to not let people die in your under your care.

461
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 3: Then you have to go out and start your learning

462
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 3: whilst saying I'm now personal trainer, and that's the beginning

463
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,679
Speaker 3: of putting yourself in imposter syndrome and being a bullshit artist,

464
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 3: and then eventually, after years, you slide into I know

465
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 3: what I'm.

466
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 1: Doing now that's fascinating. Yeah.

467
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 2: I think this is where I got so lucky, a

468
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 2: bit like your dad's friend Craig, where I was working

469
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,120
Speaker 2: in a corporate as a like account manager and senior

470
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 2: account manager, helping leaders in organizations solve challenges through this

471
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 2: series of consulting and programs that we had at this

472
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 2: company I.

473
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:46,360
Speaker 1: Was working for.

474
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 2: And then I ended up doing this online workshop which

475
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 2: we've talked about before, Seth Godin's Altaba, and that was

476
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 2: where I first interacted with a coach and what I

477
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 2: started to uncover and I was asked to join the

478
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,119
Speaker 2: team as a coach, And when I started to realize

479
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 2: was like, oh, this is I think this is what

480
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 2: I've been doing for the last eight years, but people

481
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 2: just call it coaching. In other context, it's asking questions

482
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,400
Speaker 2: to help people solve challenges. And I was like, oh,

483
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 2: you can call this coaching. So I think I got

484
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,600
Speaker 2: super lucky in that I'd been flexing that muscle and

485
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 2: doing that thing for so long without realizing it. So

486
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 2: when it came to time for when someone said to me,

487
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 2: can you coach me? I was like, oh, I think

488
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 2: I know what that means, and A I think I

489
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 2: can do it because I've done it for so long

490
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 2: without realizing that's what I was doing, which is very

491
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 2: different to what you described to it with the PC.

492
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:28,159
Speaker 1: That's fascinating.

493
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 3: I was lucky because I started in a boxing gym,

494
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 3: so I was training people to box, so I could

495
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 3: go and learn the other stuff before taking those clients.

496
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 3: I think I would have hated the proces because I

497
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,239
Speaker 3: knew boxing back to front, so I was confident in that,

498
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 3: and if people wanted a bodybuilding program, I would just

499
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 3: move them on.

500
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: It's interesting because I think coaching is just a newish

501
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,399
Speaker 1: term for something that's been done forever anyway. We just

502
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 1: call it different stuff, right, and we somehow went, oh,

503
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: this is new, and it's like wow. It's like when

504
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 1: trainers go to me, they wheel out some weird name

505
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 1: for something. They're like, oh, what do you think of?

506
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 1: A I don't know some name I've never heard of,

507
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: and I go what the fuck is that? And then

508
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:20,880
Speaker 1: I go, oh, show me what it is, and then

509
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,200
Speaker 1: they do this thing I go, oh, well, that's called

510
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: x YZ. Or It's like, what the one thing that

511
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: hasn't changed in the last thirty forty years since I

512
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 1: started is anatomy and physiology. Right, It's like we've still

513
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,640
Speaker 1: got all the same muscles and all the same joints, ligaments, tendons, bones.

514
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 1: You know, extension is still extension, Flexion is still flextion,

515
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:48,199
Speaker 1: internal external rotation, abduction abduction. If you know where your

516
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: muscles originate and insert and crossover, what joints, and you

517
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 1: understand planes of movement, then you know you can look

518
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 1: at any movement and know exactly what muscles are working

519
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 1: because you know, right, and there are some things that

520
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 1: just don't change. And so too when we look at

521
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 1: whether it's psychology or coaching or mentoring or teaching or leadership.

522
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 1: You know, the same principles that kind of applied when

523
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 1: the Stoics were talking about similar stuff two and a

524
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 1: half thousand years ago about self regulation and self management

525
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 1: and leadership and understanding the mind and human potential and

526
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: self awareness. You know, nothing's really like the principles are

527
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,199
Speaker 1: the same. We just give it a different fucking badge

528
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 1: and go, hey, we invented something. No you didn't at all.

529
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 1: It's the same, totally agree.

530
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:41,239
Speaker 2: One of my favorite stories is one of those old

531
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 2: stoic stories that my brother and I often joke about,

532
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 2: is I think it was Socrates, but maybe I'm getting

533
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,959
Speaker 2: the stoic wrong, But it was someone who ended up

534
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 2: hiring an individual to be their humility servant, and basically

535
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 2: this person's responsibility was to remind them that they're not

536
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 2: as awesome as they think they are, to keep them grounded.

537
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 2: And it's like, basically, even thousands of years ago, this

538
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 2: idea of being humble and having humility was seen as

539
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 2: virtuous and it was a really hard thing to do,

540
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 2: especially when you're in power and you look around organizations now.

541
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 2: I mean, I talk to leaders all the time about

542
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 2: how humility is a superpower, not a weakness, and so

543
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 2: what does it look like to remind yourself of that

544
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,479
Speaker 2: and adopt this posture when you're talking to other people.

545
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 2: You don't have to puff your chest out and pretend

546
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 2: like you're the most important person in the room and

547
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 2: have all the answers.

548
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: Actually there's merit in doing the opposite. But that's not

549
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 1: a new idea.

550
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 2: That goes back to Socrates in his humility servant, Like,

551
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,719
Speaker 2: it's ridiculous.

552
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 1: We have humility servants. Now are people who provide that service.

553
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: They're called commenters. They might be slightly different. I think

554
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: that's trolls, isn't it. Listeners shout out, yeah, no, I

555
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 1: mean most of our listeners are very no truth, Tolly,

556
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 1: most of our listeners are very positive. Like the amount

557
00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: of hate we get this non invitation, it's minimal as well,

558
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: I think because none of us pretend we're awesome, you know,

559
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 1: like I think that people love just healthy conversations with

560
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 1: people who kind of maybe are good at a few things,

561
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: not so good at other things, and you know, just

562
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 1: trying to help people do the same which is learn

563
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 1: and grow and evolve, and you know, we're all doing

564
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 1: the same thing at the same time, I think, you know,

565
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 1: slightly differently. But so one of the things I'm interested

566
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 1: about with you Pete especially, and then TIF if you

567
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 1: want to jump into is obviously every person that you

568
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: have is different, so mentally, emotionally, physiologically, sociologically, practically, background,

569
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 1: different brain, different experiences, and so we know that a

570
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: four step coaching plan doesn't work because for obvious reasons.

571
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 1: So do you have a set starting point. Do you

572
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 1: have a set protocol? I feel like you're probably going

573
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 1: to say no. But is how much is ductured and

574
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: planned and how much of it is freestyle intuitive and

575
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: let's just see what happens.

576
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 2: I think I would say ninety something percent of it

577
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 2: is fluid. And that's for a couple of reasons. One is, sorry,

578
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 2: you should go back. There is structure in terms of

579
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 2: the way the conversations usually happen, in terms of like

580
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,719
Speaker 2: it's sixty minutes it's every two weeks, for example, or

581
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 2: it's ninety minutes and it's once a month. There is

582
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 2: structure in how we agree to run the series of

583
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 2: coaching sessions that we're going to have, and then within

584
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 2: that structure, I have deliberately create total freedom for a

585
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 2: tow of two reasons.

586
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 1: One is, I think it's foolish to think that.

587
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 2: There's a twelve step program for all individuals as it

588
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 2: relates to coaching. As you mentioned, were a four step program.

589
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 2: And I think that a really important part of great

590
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 2: coaching is to meet people where they're at, and that

591
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 2: requires adaptability and fluidity because you don't know where they're

592
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 2: at until they start speaking, and so there might be

593
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 2: a common question that I ask at the start, like

594
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 2: what's on your mind right now, what's the current challenge

595
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 2: that you have. Let's work with that, and then from

596
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 2: there it goes in whatever direction it goes in.

597
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 3: So I.

598
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 2: Adopt fluidity because I think it serves them and selfishly

599
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 2: harps and tears and listeners. I enjoy the fluidity more

600
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 2: and I actually think I'm better at that that I

601
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 2: would get so bored of myself if I was constantly

602
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 2: following the exact same process. As part of the reason

603
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 2: I didn't operate very well in a corporate environment because

604
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 2: I was required or assumed to take on certain scripts

605
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 2: and certain behaviors in a certain way all day every day.

606
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,680
Speaker 2: I need the fluidity for my own intellectual curiosity. And

607
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 2: you know, I was going to use the word arousalor,

608
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 2: but you know, intellectual arousal or. I find it more

609
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 2: interesting if I don't know what's going to happen. Yes,

610
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 2: what everyone is like that, I get that, But for me,

611
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 2: that's I love the fluidity because it energizes me.

612
00:32:56,520 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: What do you do to increase the chances of that

613
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: one or one and a half hour interaction, that one

614
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 1: one and a half hours of literally theory being operationalized.

615
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 1: After the fact, you mean, yeah, so okay, you're coaching me.

616
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 1: We chat for an hour and a half, I'm seeing

617
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 1: you in a month, and I go, that was great,

618
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 1: Pete bye. Yeah, And then four weeks later you're like,

619
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 1: how'd you go? I go, what you know? I haven't

620
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 1: fucking done anything? Let me talk Yeah, yeah, like, well,

621
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 1: one of my challenges. I know I can talk underwater.

622
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 1: That's not the issue. I know I can share thoughts

623
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 1: and ideas and strategies and information. That's not hard for me.

624
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: What's not hard. But what I'm more interested in is

625
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 1: how the fuck do I help or improve the chances

626
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: of this person literally taking action and keep taking action

627
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 1: in between our sessions.

628
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 2: Love this question. So the consistent thing I do, I

629
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 2: guess this is part of the X percent that's somewhere

630
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 2: under ten that is similar in each session is I

631
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 2: will ask them to make a commitment at the end

632
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 2: of the session. So, based on everything we just spoke about, Harps,

633
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 2: what's the one thing you're going to do between now

634
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 2: and an next session? Take as long as you want

635
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:15,879
Speaker 2: to sit there and think about it for four minutes.

636
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 2: If you have to I don't care. I'm going to

637
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 2: sit here until you answer that question. And then depending

638
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 2: on who it is, because some of my clients are

639
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,440
Speaker 2: like they'll do it by tomorrow they're really operationally active,

640
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,239
Speaker 2: and others I know I'll need to send them in

641
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 2: a reminder in two weeks time or in a week's

642
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 2: time just to go, how are you going with that

643
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 2: commitment that you made, and they might go, oh shit,

644
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 2: I didn't do anything. Thanks for the reminder. Let me

645
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,360
Speaker 2: go and put this into action. Certainly not full proof,

646
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 2: as still times where I get to have conversations with

647
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 2: people and they go, oh god, I completely forgot to

648
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,920
Speaker 2: do that thing that I committed to doing. But I

649
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 2: think there's more merit in them putting themselves on the

650
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 2: hook than in me saying this is what you now

651
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 2: have to go and do. That's at least what I've

652
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,879
Speaker 2: found to work better is like, you need to put

653
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:56,800
Speaker 2: yourself on the hook. And that's going to feel uncomfortable.

654
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 2: I'll hold you a cook to account, but you've got

655
00:34:58,080 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 2: to put yourself on the hook. What's the commitment you're

656
00:34:59,560 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 2: going to make?

657
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 1: Wow? I love that. I love that. I don't know

658
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: if this is a good idea or a bad idea,

659
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 1: but workshop it. After all, this, let's workshop it. So

660
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 1: I'm doing a I'm doing a group on Monday nights.

661
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: I call it a private group. There's seven people, so

662
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: not so private, but it's a private mentor in group

663
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:25,280
Speaker 1: that's relatively expensive. It's ten weeks and what are we Wednesday?

664
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 1: So two nights ago we did communication, connection and understanding others.

665
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 1: So every week there's a theme. Anyway, So we did

666
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 1: all the stuff, and you know, like the actual sessions,

667
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: as far as I can tell, are good. I get

668
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 1: good feedback. There's a fair bit of interaction. There's a

669
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 1: lot of note taking, there's a lot of head nodding.

670
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 1: They can ask a question at any time, you know, obviously,

671
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 1: wait for a gap in the proceedings, put up your

672
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 1: little electronic hand, and as soon as possible, which is

673
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,760
Speaker 1: usually within a minute, I'll say, Pete, wa'ts your question?

674
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 1: What do you want to know? Or But I've started

675
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:08,439
Speaker 1: saying to people, look, here's what happens. Most times when

676
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 1: I do something, or when sessions like this happen. Statistically,

677
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 1: most people will do fuck all between this session and

678
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:20,360
Speaker 1: the next. I mean, really make decisions, take action, be

679
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 1: proactive and productive, roll up their sleeves, get uncomfortable, like

680
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 1: every day for the next seven days. Like, the chances

681
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: of you guys all doing that are zero zero. The

682
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,439
Speaker 1: chances of half of you doing that are probably three

683
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 1: percent or five percent. And I go, I'm not saying

684
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 1: that to be negative or to dissuade you. I want

685
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 1: you to prove me wrong. I cannot emphasize enough how

686
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 1: much these sessions and the value in the ten weeks,

687
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: ironically is not about the ten sessions. Yeah, it's about

688
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 1: the in between. I know, and you know. You can

689
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: turn up. Both of you can turn up and do

690
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 1: your thing, Like can you stand and be articulate and

691
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 1: funny and tell a good story and be a bit inspirational.

692
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: Of course you can. But you get to a point

693
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 1: where I don't even care about that. I don't care

694
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: about that because that's without being arrogant, that's somewhat like,

695
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,839
Speaker 1: that's just an that's expected. You just got to do that.

696
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:27,240
Speaker 1: That's your fucking job. That's you know, that's that's the base.

697
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,439
Speaker 1: But then on top of that, you know, what's what's

698
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 1: the next layer. I absolutely agree with this so much.

699
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 2: I think about this more than I think about how

700
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,359
Speaker 2: do I come up, how do I have everyone think

701
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,920
Speaker 2: that I'm a really smart person. At the end of

702
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,839
Speaker 2: the session, I think more about how do I get

703
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,799
Speaker 2: out of the way and create the conditions for them

704
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 2: to actually do something. And so I will, like very

705
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 2: tactically do things like if it's virtual use breakout rooms,

706
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,880
Speaker 2: where I go, what's one thing you're going to do

707
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 2: based on everything we've talked about today between now and

708
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 2: the session, go into a breakout with two other people,

709
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 2: share it with them, write your names down, and now

710
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 2: you three are an accountability group and you've got to

711
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 2: keep each other accountable between now in the next session,

712
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 2: because I can't be the person holding your hand. And

713
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 2: I think more and more in the value that I

714
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,319
Speaker 2: try and provide leaders and teams and people that are

715
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 2: taking part in the sessions that I run is I

716
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,759
Speaker 2: don't actually want you to go that thing I just

717
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 2: heard from Pete was so freaking helpful. I want them

718
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 2: to go that conversation I had with that person that

719
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,879
Speaker 2: was also there that was freaking brilliant. And so I'm

720
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 2: seeing my role more and more as like creating the

721
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 2: conditions for those conversations as opposed to being this like

722
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,800
Speaker 2: one voice that has to impart wisdom.

723
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 3: And.

724
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 2: I don't know, I find that more effective at least

725
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 2: to create the conditions for actual change to happen. Doesn't

726
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 2: always happen, but I think it's more effective than you know,

727
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:51,800
Speaker 2: go on to the days a little bit where we

728
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 2: sit there and listen to the lecturer who's got the

729
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 2: information that none of us have, because we all have

730
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 2: all the information all the time at our fingertips.

731
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, yeah, And it's almost like the I did

732
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 1: the Peach Shepherd or the tiff cook course and it

733
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 1: didn't work. What, yeah, I did it. It didn't work.

734
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:12,920
Speaker 1: What do you mean it didn't work? Like? Did you

735
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 1: do the work? Like? Did you like all the stuff

736
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 1: that was spoken about and all the head nodding and

737
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,799
Speaker 1: all the note taking by you and all the like.

738
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 1: And it's like, at some stage we all need to

739
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 1: go us three included. So I've told people a million

740
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 1: times I'm not the answer to anything. I'm just a

741
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 1: guy pointing to the answer, and which is you. Generally

742
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 1: the answer is going to you. I'm a tool, and

743
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 1: many people will agree I'm a tool. I'm a resource,

744
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: I'm a conduit to something. But you know, it's like, Hey,

745
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: I can't be disciplined for you. I can't get out

746
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 1: of bed for you. I can't have a good attitude

747
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,240
Speaker 1: for you. I can't make decisions for you. I can't

748
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 1: work hard for you. I can't be brave for you.

749
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 1: I can't be resilient for you. And all of those

750
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: things are what needs happen and I can't do any

751
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:03,800
Speaker 1: of that. Only you can do that.

752
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 2: And I think it's actually more generous for you to

753
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 2: say that and acknowledge that with them to go. My

754
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 2: role is to open the door and turn on the light.

755
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 2: You need to be the one that walks into that

756
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 2: room and do whatever you need to do in that room.

757
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 2: I'll try and open the door and turn the light,

758
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 2: and then it's on you. It's totally on you, And

759
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 2: that's generous.

760
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: What's your advice for people either, t if I'm going

761
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 1: to start with you, So people that want to be

762
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: coached and they go, I'm I'm going to go to

763
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 1: a coach, how do they get the best out of that? Like,

764
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 1: what advice do you have for them to get the

765
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 1: most value from And whether or not it's about nutrition

766
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:45,760
Speaker 1: or fitness or business or life or overcoming an addiction

767
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 1: or self regulation. How do we as clients who are

768
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,399
Speaker 1: going to see work with someone and by the way,

769
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,759
Speaker 1: that someone could be a dietitian or a physio or

770
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,320
Speaker 1: an exercise scientist, store a life coach, it doesn't matter.

771
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 1: But how do we as clients get the most value?

772
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 3: Be honest, be curious, and be brave enough to go

773
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 3: deeper than you thought you were going in to go.

774
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 3: Because when I think about people that don't make change,

775
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 3: I think there's as much power or maybe more in

776
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 3: just helping them self discover the process of why am

777
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 3: I not making change? So I don't care if you

778
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,399
Speaker 3: change at the end of this program that you said

779
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 3: you wanted to come in and change this. But if

780
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,319
Speaker 3: I can loosen the lid on why you think you

781
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 3: want to change it and why you're not, and if

782
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 3: you walk away at least scratching your head and going

783
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 3: on there's something in that, then one day you might

784
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 3: be closer to changing.

785
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 1: Yeah.

786
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 2: Nice's good answer. Yeah, I agree with everything Tiff said.

787
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 2: I wrote down Attitude is a skill. So I think

788
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 2: about the thing that I want you to have is

789
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 2: an attitude that is can juici of to learning and growth.

790
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,400
Speaker 2: And self discovery and a willingness to figure out what

791
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 2: your blind spots might be or where you might be

792
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 2: getting in your own way. And so in my mind,

793
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:13,840
Speaker 2: that requires a certain attitude. The good thing I think,

794
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 2: at least in my experience with enough sort of filters,

795
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 2: is it's pretty rare to get to a point where

796
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,280
Speaker 2: you're talking to a coach and you decide you're actually

797
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 2: interested in being coached. Like usually people opt in that

798
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 2: are relatively attuned to doing this kind of having these

799
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 2: kinds of conversations not always the case, especially if you're

800
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,319
Speaker 2: working with a corporate and like someone's recommended you have

801
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,359
Speaker 2: a conversation with this person, they're a bit like why

802
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 2: am I here?

803
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: My manager told me to be here. So I think

804
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: it comes down to attitude. Yeah, yeah, I love it. Well,

805
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:51,319
Speaker 1: you can talk. Yeah, Look, I just think that we

806
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 1: really need to be like Tiff said, you've got to

807
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 1: be You've got to be honest and a bit vulnerable

808
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 1: and go, look, some of the shit that I need

809
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 1: to do I won't want to do. And people or

810
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 1: tiar four Craig might say something that I find really

811
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 1: uncomfortable and I'm not talking about anything inappropriate I'm just

812
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:12,840
Speaker 1: talking about, you know, like, if I'm being brutally honest,

813
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,880
Speaker 1: most of the big problems that I've had were mostly me.

814
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,760
Speaker 1: You know. There have been other variables and other people

815
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 1: that weren't always awesome. But if I'm being honest, mostly me, Like,

816
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 1: mostly I have gotten in my own way. And I

817
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 1: think something I've spoken about quite a bit lately is

818
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 1: this stupid need that we humans seem to have to

819
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 1: be right about things. It's like, oh, fuck, how many

820
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 1: times have I gotten something wrong? Oh? Just probably a million.

821
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 1: So even some of the things that I now think

822
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 1: i'm right about, I know a percentage of that I'm

823
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 1: probably going to be wrong about almost definitely, And that's okay.

824
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 1: And this willingness to go into the metaphoric room where

825
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 1: you're the white belt, not the black belt, where you're

826
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 1: the dumbest, where you're the worst, where you're the least skill,

827
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 1: where you're the least capable and competent. Go into that

828
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 1: room and don't run out to fucking go in there

829
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,800
Speaker 1: and learn and grow and pay attention.

830
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 3: You know.

831
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 1: That's like most things that I'm now good at, And

832
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:30,359
Speaker 1: I say that with an asterisk. I was not good

833
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 1: at when I began.

834
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:33,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like as we get older, we

835
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 2: put ourselves in those situations less and less and less

836
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 2: and less and less.

837
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 1: Yeah.

838
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, it it feels like it goes back to the

839
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:44,879
Speaker 2: humility servant, right, It's like having the humility to go,

840
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 2: I don't know everything and that's okay. In fact, that's

841
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 2: a good thing, because I totally agree with the Harps

842
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 2: that like, there is this weird desire for people to

843
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 2: be right, but they're not just to be right, but

844
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 2: to remind everyone of like, oh, I predicted this.

845
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,840
Speaker 1: Twelve months ago. This is exactly what I've said would happen.

846
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 1: It's sort of like, yeah, yeah, and that's that whole

847
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:08,359
Speaker 1: kind of I did. It seems to be a bit

848
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 1: of overlap and reoccurring theme here at typ But I

849
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 1: did an episode a few days ago which I think

850
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: you would like this concept, Pete. It was called the

851
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 1: fence Hitter, And I'm actually an advocate for sitting on

852
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 1: the fence, right, because it's all sometimes it's seen as

853
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 1: you know, weakness or ignorance or whereas I think, well,

854
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 1: let's maybe reframe that if I'm sitting on the literal

855
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 1: fence or the metaphoric fence. I can see what you

856
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:37,760
Speaker 1: guys who are on either side of the fence can't

857
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 1: see because I've got a different vantage point. You've got

858
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 1: a Yeah, I've got maybe a level of awareness and

859
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,839
Speaker 1: insight and a perspective that is valuable up here right

860
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 1: this whole kind of societal and cultural kind of I

861
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:56,280
Speaker 1: don't know, collective mindset of you have to pick a side.

862
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 1: I'm like, how about this, how about don't tell me

863
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 1: what I have to do. How about I just figure

864
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 1: out and look that I don't want to be in

865
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:08,919
Speaker 1: either of those camps. I just want to be able

866
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 1: to think for me. And there'll be some things that

867
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 1: I agree with Group A, something's group B, some things

868
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 1: Group C. But I don't actually want to identify necessarily

869
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 1: with some echo chamber of behavior or thought or culture

870
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 1: or religion or whatever it is or philosophy. I just

871
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 1: I want to think for myself. And if Pete and

872
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 1: Tiff and I all happen to agree on a thing,

873
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 1: that's a coincidence. It's not a plan. Yeah, Like we're

874
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 1: not all hanging out because we all have exactly the

875
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 1: same And if you and I and Tiff all thought

876
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:47,839
Speaker 1: the same on everything, I'd be extremely fucking scared, and

877
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 1: I I'll be like, wow, there's something wrong, right. I

878
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 1: love that idea. Fan sitting is a good thing, I think.

879
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 1: I think it gives you the last thing that I

880
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 1: wanted to chat about to you. TIF and I did

881
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 1: a podcast yesterday where we spoke briefly about, among other things,

882
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 1: setting goals and stuff, you know, old school goal setting

883
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 1: one o one. But you know, when I talk to

884
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,319
Speaker 1: people on a really fundamental level, we talk about the

885
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,400
Speaker 1: thing that you want, then we talk about why you

886
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 1: want it, and then we talk about how you're going

887
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 1: to get it, and then we talk vaguely about when

888
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:24,400
Speaker 1: you're going to get it. So you know, what do

889
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 1: you want, why do you want it, how are you

890
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 1: going to create it, what's your plan, what's your strategy,

891
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:31,560
Speaker 1: watch your protocol, and then you know, watch your timeline,

892
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,920
Speaker 1: give or tape. And it feels like with a lot

893
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 1: of people, I want you to speak to this if

894
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,799
Speaker 1: you can. When you do a deep dive on what

895
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 1: people want and then why they want it, sometimes they

896
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 1: actually go oh, because it's the thing that they initially want,

897
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 1: which they think will open the door to the thing

898
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:52,480
Speaker 1: they really want, which is the why, the reason, the motivator,

899
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:56,239
Speaker 1: the driver. So like I might go, I want to

900
00:47:56,280 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 1: earn five hundred grand a year, and the reason being

901
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,040
Speaker 1: it's going to make my life better, me better, I'll

902
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 1: be much happier, I'll have all this flexibility, I'll be

903
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 1: able to do all these things. And then the bottom

904
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 1: and then when you filter down through that, it's cause

905
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 1: I'll be happier, I'll be calmer, and I'll be and

906
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:15,400
Speaker 1: then but when you do a deep dive, you're like, well,

907
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 1: maybe maybe that will equal that, or maybe that won't

908
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:22,360
Speaker 1: equal that. So talk to me about that. Do people

909
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 1: ever with you come in with a certain focus or

910
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:29,360
Speaker 1: intentional plan and then realize that maybe I'm climbing the

911
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 1: wrong mountain. Yeah, I would say all the time, because

912
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 1: I think so. One of the things I think about

913
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,400
Speaker 1: is goal setting is important for the very reason that

914
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 1: you just described. Is it because it can clarify what

915
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 1: you're actually valuing or you're actually striving towards, or what

916
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 1: you're actually pursuing and why you're pursuing it. But I

917
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:53,839
Speaker 1: think goal achieving is overrated. I think the process of

918
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:57,839
Speaker 1: getting clear on what things are motivating you and why

919
00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 1: that might be the case is super important, which is

920
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 1: goal and I'm repeating myself, but I think the process

921
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 1: of in pursuing that, you are going to discover a

922
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 1: bunch of things that hopefully enable you to unlock new

923
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 1: doors and see things differently and realize the five hundred

924
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 1: gramd was and actually the thing that mattered it was

925
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 1: actually something else, and the fact that you wanted to

926
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 1: be in a different job, and so like, why don't

927
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:18,359
Speaker 1: you go and get a different job without the need

928
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:20,360
Speaker 1: to have the five Like the process of discovery just

929
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:22,319
Speaker 1: by setting the goal, to me is so much more

930
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 1: important than like, oh I got the five hundred gram,

931
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 1: but I'm miserable. Yes, okay, So like the achieving part

932
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 1: is overrated. It's the especially if the process is robust,

933
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 1: which the one you describe is. It's the process of

934
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:34,799
Speaker 1: self inquiry basically to go, this is the thing I

935
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:36,480
Speaker 1: think I want. Why do I want that? Why is

936
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,440
Speaker 1: that important to me? And who would help me get that?

937
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 1: And maybe in.

938
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 2: Discovering that year, oh, actually I realize I have twelve

939
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 2: people in my network that could probably help me do that.

940
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 1: That's pretty cool.

941
00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 2: So maybe I'll go talk to those twelve people and

942
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:49,759
Speaker 2: I'm less attached about because it's going to help me

943
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:51,919
Speaker 2: do the thing, but more in those twelve conversations, maybe

944
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:53,720
Speaker 2: I'll end up in like a bunch of different directions

945
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 2: I couldn't have predicted at the start. So I like

946
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:59,840
Speaker 2: the process and I don't necessarily think the outcome of

947
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:01,800
Speaker 2: achieving the goal is as important as we think.

948
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, so interesting, it's about cheesy, but it's about who

949
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,280
Speaker 1: you become on the climb, not you know, not the summit.

950
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 1: And like to this point, which you said, you know

951
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 1: it's like the achievement or the goal itself. Yeah, it's good,

952
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 1: but I think back. So I started training people in

953
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 1: nineteen eighty two. Well, I started writing programs, working gyms.

954
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 1: I started pizzing in eighty six, which is next year,

955
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 1: forty years right. I literally have trained thousands of people

956
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:32,400
Speaker 1: who their primary goal. I'm not saying this is a

957
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: bad goal. Anyone done crack the shits, don't send me

958
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:38,200
Speaker 1: an email. But their main focus was to reach a

959
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 1: certain weight, or to reach a certain body fat level, right,

960
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,320
Speaker 1: and in some cases, to reach a certain bench press

961
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:52,279
Speaker 1: number or whatever. But they were all of these essentially measurable,

962
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:56,879
Speaker 1: quantifiable numeric goals now the amount of people that got

963
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:59,879
Speaker 1: to their goal weight and then went, ah, that's it,

964
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:03,840
Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm happy pretty much zero zero, yeah, really

965
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 1: much zero. It's like they came in, they had a goal,

966
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 1: they achieved the goal, and then when they got to

967
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 1: the goal, there was almost no contentment or no last contentment, right.

968
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: And I think this is probably an episode for another day.

969
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 1: But I think we think sometimes that when we tick

970
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 1: that box, or we hit that weight, or we hit

971
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 1: that bench press, or we get that body composition, or

972
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 1: we get that income or we get that fucking PhD

973
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 1: or we get that that we're going to somehow that

974
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:35,880
Speaker 1: external achievement is going to equate to some internal reality

975
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:39,080
Speaker 1: that is pretty much nirvana. And then we get there

976
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 1: and we're like, oh fuck, there's no nirvana with this.

977
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 1: I make the same person. Yeah I've got to lose

978
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:47,839
Speaker 1: three more kilos, it's definitely three more kilos. I'm still

979
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: the same person with the same brain.

980
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 2: I feel like this is the same is true with

981
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 2: you know, people who think they need to move overseas

982
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:56,600
Speaker 2: to escape the thing that they're currently experiencing in their

983
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 2: day to day and they get overseas and they go

984
00:51:58,360 --> 00:51:59,239
Speaker 2: it's all in my head.

985
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 1: Still it's still. Yeah, the fact that I live on

986
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 1: the isle of Man isn't helping. The fact that like

987
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:07,719
Speaker 1: that that helps, damn it is.

988
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 2: I Oh, but I also want to go into that

989
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:14,880
Speaker 2: a little bit. For having the goals, It's almost like

990
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:19,279
Speaker 2: having the specific bench press goal is cool as long

991
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 2: as your happiness and success and contentment is not contingent

992
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 2: on hitting it. It's like, yes, can you enjoy the

993
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:28,520
Speaker 2: process of trying to get the one hundred and fifty

994
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:32,360
Speaker 2: kilo ground bench press and not only be happy or

995
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 2: content if and when you get that? Because I think

996
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 2: that's where we set ourselves up for failure, because you're right,

997
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:39,160
Speaker 2: you hit the bench press. We I've have a benchress

998
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 2: one hundred and fifty. But say you did, and you.

999
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 1: Go, oh, I still feel a bit shit, Like what's

1000
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:45,359
Speaker 1: going on there?

1001
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1002
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 1: I need to do one hundred and fifty one? Yeah?

1003
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:51,359
Speaker 1: Why am I problem still here? Exactly? Yeah, I'm living

1004
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:55,160
Speaker 1: on the isle of Man. Oh, Apparently my problems weren't geographical.

1005
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:59,359
Speaker 1: It's psychological. That's true. I think it's so true.

1006
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 2: It's like if people to go on a holiday to

1007
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:02,799
Speaker 2: escape the reality, and they realize when they get back

1008
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 2: or when they're on the holiday is like, oh, I'm

1009
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:06,439
Speaker 2: still the same person with the same noise rattling around

1010
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:07,879
Speaker 2: in my head.

1011
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 1: That's the way, mate. I love talking to you. My

1012
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:14,400
Speaker 1: audience loves you, Tiff. It's got a hard crush on you.

1013
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 1: She's only a human. How do people connect with you

1014
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:20,839
Speaker 1: and find you and follow you? I mean human?

1015
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 2: Periscope dot com is always the best place to go.

1016
00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:25,799
Speaker 2: My email's on there and there's a bunch of tall

1017
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 2: metaphors that people seem to enjoy it because I'm a

1018
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 2: tall human. So feel free to reach out any point.

1019
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:32,279
Speaker 2: I always get a lovely email or three off your

1020
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:34,680
Speaker 2: listeners every time I want, so thanks, thanks to you,

1021
00:53:34,719 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 2: and thanks to the listeners for being so awesome and gracious.

1022
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 3: Well say reach out then, because they have to reach

1023
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:42,320
Speaker 3: shirt high.

1024
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 1: I didn't, but I'm going to start doing that more deliberately. Now.

1025
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 1: That's great. Yeah, get on your tippy toes a thank

1026
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 1: you mate, Well say goodbye fair but two meter Peter,

1027
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:57,040
Speaker 1: it's been fucking great. Thanks team