Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashi
Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is.
Speaker 2: About female empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest,
Speaker 2: and most authentic version of yourself.
Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.
Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. Welcome back
Speaker 2: to another episode of She Rises with your favorite.
Speaker 1: Co hosts Ashy and Tiana.
Speaker 2: Really, I'm so excited to be here with you today.
Speaker 2: This episode is going to be all about being at
Speaker 2: a crossroads in your life. So if you are finding
Speaker 2: yourself in two minds, you're struggling to trust yourself, or
Speaker 2: you're just finding it really challenging to make decisions, We're
Speaker 2: going to help you uncover about what to do next,
Speaker 2: how to make decisions for you, and how we both
Speaker 2: in our personal lives have had experiences where we have
Speaker 2: been at that crossroads and what we've kind of have
Speaker 2: done to essentially get out of.
Speaker 1: It and all the outside noise comes along with it.
Speaker 1: And we're going to share some personal stories recently that's
Speaker 1: happened to us and how hard it's been to make
Speaker 1: decisions because you're trying to listen to your own gut
Speaker 1: intuition and what's right for you. Then you're also wanting
Speaker 1: the opinions of the people that you trust, and then
Speaker 1: there's also the outside noise of social media and it
Speaker 1: can feel a lot. But before we get into it,
Speaker 1: what is your share of the week?
Speaker 2: My Share of the Week is actually a YouTube channel.
Speaker 2: It's called Yoga Nidra. I don't know if you've heard
Speaker 2: it before, but essentially it's a total nervous system reset.
Speaker 2: So it's a type of meditation that you can do
Speaker 2: and they have videos anywhere from five minutes all the
Speaker 2: way up to thirty minutes, and you can choose based
Speaker 2: on how much or little time that you have. So
Speaker 2: it's Yoga Nidra and IDR with Ali.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yoga or meditations or both mixed together.
Speaker 2: No, So you're lying down, it's yoga.
Speaker 1: Sounds like it's yoga.
Speaker 2: Hey, it sounds like it's an actual yoga, but it's not.
Speaker 2: It's meditation. And you're lying down and you close your
Speaker 2: eyes and you kind of just listen and you go
Speaker 2: through the process with her.
Speaker 1: Between yoga Nietra and normal meditation.
Speaker 2: This one, I feel is very body away. So she
Speaker 2: gets you to focus on Let's say, for example, you've
Speaker 2: got your eyes closed and she'll take you through. Okay, now,
Speaker 2: soften your shoulders and connect with your breath, and she
Speaker 2: gets you to kind of go through all of your
Speaker 2: body parts and really allow yourself to kind of sink
Speaker 2: into the mattress. It's a really cool experience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that you have spoken about those quite
Speaker 1: a lot.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. I'm going to recommend where I go for
Speaker 1: my skin. I absolutely love it. I've been on a
Speaker 1: skin journey for a very long time. When I came
Speaker 1: off the pill when I was twenty three, I had
Speaker 1: crazy acne and from there I picked it. I had scars,
Speaker 1: got a lot of acupuntia, I worked my gut health
Speaker 1: cleared up my skin, and that I was left with
Speaker 1: a lot of scarring discolouration. I just don't have like
Speaker 1: that really even complexion. So I go to bo Aesthetics
Speaker 1: and I see a girl called Tara, and the main
Speaker 1: treatment I'm getting is skin needling and altering with called
Speaker 1: skin genesis, and it's a type of laser treatment, but
Speaker 1: there's no downtime, and I want to go out in
Speaker 1: the sun and walk and like do my thing and train.
Speaker 1: So Genesis instantly afterwards, you'll walk out and your skin
Speaker 1: is glowing stuff. I love it. So I've beginning that
Speaker 1: once a month, been going for a skin treatment. It's
Speaker 1: also the same place that I get my botox and
Speaker 1: I get my lips some once a year. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: they're just awesome. I love the girls there. I feel
Speaker 1: like they're very experienced, they're very more on the natural side.
Speaker 1: So if you've been thinking about going down that route,
Speaker 1: or you want someone to really take care of your
Speaker 1: skin who's so passionate, go and see the girls at boasts.
Speaker 1: They're awesome. Have to look in not sponsored by the way.
Speaker 1: I genuinely just love them. And I get asked about
Speaker 1: it all the time where I go for that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff and they're in Palm Beach, So.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you do rave about those girls.
Speaker 1: Oh I love that.
Speaker 2: Oh beautiful. All right, let's get stuck into it.
Speaker 1: Oh, let's get stuck into it.
Speaker 2: So it can be really challenging when we're going through
Speaker 2: something and like all we want to do is get
Speaker 2: the people around us to rally around us, you know, like,
Speaker 2: especially if we're in a place where we don't feel
Speaker 2: like we can trust ourselves, the first thing that you
Speaker 2: want to do is like go to somebody for support
Speaker 2: because you're like, what's your opinion?
Speaker 1: And you value their opinion so much.
Speaker 2: You do because you love them and you care about them,
Speaker 2: and you know that they care about you too.
Speaker 1: And you care about what they think too. Oh big.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but sometimes that can also be a conflicting thing
Speaker 2: because maybe what they share with you is something that
Speaker 2: is not what you feel deep down. Yeah, And then
Speaker 2: sometimes it can be really hard to discern, Okay, should
Speaker 2: I listen to this person or should I listen to myself?
Speaker 2: When you're really struggling to trust yourself, I can be
Speaker 2: a really challenging thing to do.
Speaker 1: And then sometimes you've got your rose colored glasses on
Speaker 1: or you're so deep in it you can't see things
Speaker 1: that they can see. Then it can also be triggering
Speaker 1: when they bring that up and you're like, oh, well
Speaker 1: that's not how it is. Yes, you know, it can
Speaker 1: be really hard.
Speaker 2: I think, just like a bit of a personal experience,
Speaker 2: not when I was with silver Fox, when I was
Speaker 2: with my relationship before that yes, there was a fair
Speaker 2: bit of that for me. I was really into minds
Speaker 2: in the relationship just because of things that we were
Speaker 2: kind of navigating through, and it was a really conflicting time.
Speaker 2: I feel like I kind of lost myself in that relationship.
Speaker 2: And I remember coming to you and just saying, this
Speaker 2: is how I'm feeling, this is what's happening. And I
Speaker 2: remember when you first came to me and you know,
Speaker 2: shared with me your opinion on it. I remember feeling
Speaker 2: that like internal resistance of like, but I don't want
Speaker 2: that to be true. And then I remember going to
Speaker 2: you and then bouncing to my dad and then going
Speaker 2: to my sister, and everyone's opinion was the same because
Speaker 2: obviously they're not emotionally invested in it, and I was like,
Speaker 2: so deeply in love, so what I thought? And I
Speaker 2: had my rose colored glasses on.
Speaker 1: You know, it does get so noisy. Yeah, it's cool
Speaker 1: because when we share stuff with each other, we know
Speaker 1: it's from a place of love or it's not a
Speaker 1: place of judgment. And I kept reminding you too, like
Speaker 1: anything we say we're not in the relationship. It is
Speaker 1: so easy to sit here on my high horse out
Speaker 1: here going well, what about this and what about that?
Speaker 1: And you said this and about this. You know you're
Speaker 1: the only one in it. So even after we had
Speaker 1: that discussion, I almost like encourage you to go and
Speaker 1: explore it again. Yeah, I was like, you have to
Speaker 1: be one hundred percent sure that this is the right
Speaker 1: decision for you or not the right decision for you.
Speaker 1: You almost need to block all of us out for
Speaker 1: a moment. And what was Tiana want?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so just to give you guys some context around
Speaker 2: what I she's talking about. So obviously not silver Fox,
Speaker 2: but my relationship before that, I was very much in
Speaker 2: love with this man, and we were together for about
Speaker 2: a year and a half, and I genuinely thought that
Speaker 2: this man was going to be like my life partner.
Speaker 2: Everything lined up, everything seemed good on paper, Like we
Speaker 2: had a couple of challenges that kind of stopped us
Speaker 2: from being able to really move forward in the relationship. However,
Speaker 2: once I ended up leaving, I thought I made the
Speaker 2: right decision and I thought then I was done. I
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, I've kind of at my limit. This
Speaker 2: is where I leave. Saying this relationship would mean me
Speaker 2: abandoning myself more than I already was, and so I
Speaker 2: felt like I needed to let go, and I did,
Speaker 2: and then I chose to move on and I got
Speaker 2: with Silver Fox. And after that relationship, I realized I
Speaker 2: was kind of distracting myself from addressing like the heartbreak
Speaker 2: that I was feeling from that relationship. Yeah, and I
Speaker 2: honestly thought I was doing the right thing. Like I
Speaker 2: just thought, Okay, well, this isn't working, so I need
Speaker 2: to force myself to move on because I need to
Speaker 2: protect myself now.
Speaker 1: So many people could relate to that I reckon.
Speaker 2: And then after Silver Fox and I kind of split
Speaker 2: and I left him and decided that I wasn't maybe
Speaker 2: in it for the right reasons, and I just wasn't
Speaker 2: fair that I wasn't as in love with him as
Speaker 2: he was with me. I had like a couple of
Speaker 2: months of like grieving, and in that time, I realized
Speaker 2: that I still was very much in love with my ex,
Speaker 2: and just all of those feelings and all of the
Speaker 2: love that I had came back. And you know when
Speaker 2: your mind does that thing, or you never forget about
Speaker 2: all the things.
Speaker 1: That were wrong, or everyone listening's like yeah, a man, yeah.
Speaker 2: And I just all of a sudden everything about the
Speaker 2: relationship was good, you know, and it just reminded me
Speaker 2: of all the beautiful times. And this was actually right
Speaker 2: before Bali. Right before Bali, I was in this headspace
Speaker 2: where I was like, okay, you know, and after having
Speaker 2: lost Lucy. Lucy passed away right before Bali, and I
Speaker 2: remember thinking to myself, like, life is so fucking short
Speaker 2: if I don't reach out and let him know how
Speaker 2: I was feeling and potentially try again, Like will it
Speaker 2: be something that I regret for the rest of my life?
Speaker 2: And I was so torn and so into minds and
Speaker 2: just so scared of everyone's judgment around me potentially choosing that.
Speaker 2: But then I just remember thinking to myself, like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I really need to like kind of go within and
Speaker 2: I need to listen to what it is that I
Speaker 2: want because at the end of the day, it would
Speaker 2: have to be something that I live with. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: have to be the life that I lead, the person
Speaker 2: that I'm lay in bed at night every single night
Speaker 2: and spend the rest of my life with. And you
Speaker 2: did you encourage me to be Like me and your
Speaker 2: dad we're like, yeah, me to do this. You and
Speaker 2: my dad were both like you've got to trust that
Speaker 2: you've got to follow the pool. You've got to try,
Speaker 2: because if you don't, then with wonder, you'll always wonder.
Speaker 2: And I was really in this wondering mindset of like
Speaker 2: what if you know? And then after having that conversation,
Speaker 2: we like beautifully kind of like went our separate ways
Speaker 2: and kind of I got everything off my chest and
Speaker 2: then it wasn't meant to be something that we were
Speaker 2: to explore again. And honestly, after that, I feel really
Speaker 2: good and at peace with it, and just like I'm
Speaker 2: able to let it go properly, and yeah.
Speaker 1: It's so important to go within Sometimes I love having
Speaker 1: the opinions of my close people, and so do you.
Speaker 1: But ye, at the end of the day, like no
Speaker 1: one else is in your shoes. Even though I'd give
Speaker 1: my opinion when you asked, wasn't just like, ah, do
Speaker 1: this and then asked what I thought? And I would
Speaker 1: share things that you had shared with me or like
Speaker 1: maybe remind you of how you might have been feeling.
Speaker 1: I would also say, like, I'm not in it. I
Speaker 1: didn't even know him from a bar soap, like I've
Speaker 1: never spent time with him. I only know what you've
Speaker 1: shared with me. And how you've felt only you know
Speaker 1: in this and yeah, I just don't think you should
Speaker 1: ever walk away from something until you're one hundred percent
Speaker 1: ready and you one hundred percent know that you've tried everything,
Speaker 1: you've explored everything, you've discussed everything, and both parties like
Speaker 1: this isn't gonna work.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think you did it so beautifully and you really
Speaker 1: honored yourself. I think the timing was really beautiful as well,
Speaker 1: because you've got to go Barley and just really be
Speaker 1: with yourself and be still be with myself, yeah, but
Speaker 1: still quite noisy and like you're still trying to work
Speaker 1: and do all the things and grieve Lucy, and it
Speaker 1: was just it was noisy.
Speaker 2: It was very noisy. Yeah. Yeah. Having done that, honestly
Speaker 2: was like what I needed to do. And when I
Speaker 2: split up with him, I thought like, Okay, I've tried everything.
Speaker 2: And then having had time and like a year apart
Speaker 2: or however long it had been, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: well maybe I still don't feel like I'm at that
Speaker 2: point yet. And so me having had that conversation with
Speaker 2: him allowed me to feel like, oh wow, okay. We
Speaker 2: spoke about therapy, we spoke about what that would look
Speaker 2: like and it's just like now it's no longer an option. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I feel like once you did that too, you
Speaker 1: were like, Okay, I'm ready now to live my life. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was kind of all just like always niggling there.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I've got a different experience with outside noise, and
Speaker 1: it's business related. So anyone that owns a business, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you've ever been in a position like this,
Speaker 1: or maybe you will, so listening to my story might
Speaker 1: kind of pre prep you. In Hideaway, we love our
Speaker 1: team and we value their opinions so much. We value
Speaker 1: our customers' opinions and feedback, like even, for example, the
Speaker 1: black perfume bottles. I loved those perfume bottles, but we
Speaker 1: had so much feedback of people saying they look cheap
Speaker 1: and tachy, so we changed them. Oh and it took
Speaker 1: a long time, so many different samples and graphic designers
Speaker 1: going back and forth and like, oh, I don't like
Speaker 1: that about it. And now we've got the white bottles.
Speaker 1: We had comments saying, oh, I prefer the black ones.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh my gosh. So in business, what I've
Speaker 1: learned lately, and I've always tried to be the cool boss,
Speaker 1: the cool staff member that everyone likes, someone gets along with,
Speaker 1: Oh she's so crazy. Like ah, Like, I've got this
Speaker 1: story because my biggest wound is being abandoned or rejected
Speaker 1: or not liked. I'm very well aware of it. Hence
Speaker 1: why I don't want to be a team leader, because
Speaker 1: I'm just not great at it. I just want to
Speaker 1: be liked. But yes, Steve and I decided to bring
Speaker 1: out natural lubricant. We thought this was a genius idea.
Speaker 1: We were buying a natural loube from America. It was
Speaker 1: costing me nearly one hundred and fifty dollars once I
Speaker 1: paid for shipping, and the freaking product. Wow, it's like
Speaker 1: a fifty meal tube. Yeah, not even a big tube.
Speaker 1: We like to have sex. We go through that often.
Speaker 1: So we thought we've got the means. We have our
Speaker 1: own manufacturing warehouse where we make all of our products.
Speaker 1: We can make this, So we decided to make it.
Speaker 1: We first put it to the team. They were like
Speaker 1: really hesitant, and not everyone, just a couple. There's a
Speaker 1: bit of resistance. But we didn't realize the extent of
Speaker 1: how uncomfortable it made a lot of people. And that's
Speaker 1: another whole conversation I want to have later on. Not
Speaker 1: to throw anyone on the bus or mentioned names. We
Speaker 1: just noticed there was resistance and a lot of them
Speaker 1: had really strong opinions on how damaging it would be
Speaker 1: to the brand, how it wasn't aligned, it was going
Speaker 1: to be bad on my name. I'm going to copple
Speaker 1: a lot of hate media. We're going to jump on board.
Speaker 1: It was uncomfortable. They want to work on it, and
Speaker 1: Steve and I were really taken back. One I learned
Speaker 1: that everyone's got a different opinion on everything, and sometimes
Speaker 1: there's too many cooks in the kitchen. Secondly, this is
Speaker 1: something Steve and I really want to do, and we
Speaker 1: own the business. Yeah, our butt's on the line. We're
Speaker 1: the one that have to pay the bills, make sure
Speaker 1: everyone's covert, everyone's got a job like this is our decision,
Speaker 1: so we had to stand strong by that. And Thirdly,
Speaker 1: it was just very noisy and I found this really hard.
Speaker 1: I was really rattled by it. Everyone's opinions and mixed opinions,
Speaker 1: opinions that didn't agree with ours. Because we were just like,
Speaker 1: we can't see the problem with this. I can't see
Speaker 1: anything wrong with doing this, and it was really noisy,
Speaker 1: and there was one night at home where it was
Speaker 1: just really it was upsetting Steve and I and he's like,
Speaker 1: have we made the wrong decision? Is this not aligned
Speaker 1: with Hideaway? Is this off brand? And I was like, no, babe,
Speaker 1: this is aligned for us. It's a very authentic product
Speaker 1: for us. And sex is not something as you guys
Speaker 1: know that I shy away from talking about. I want
Speaker 1: it to feel so normal and so comfortable, because for me,
Speaker 1: sex is connection. It's how we create life. It's pleasurable,
Speaker 1: it's fun, and it's something we all do. Why is
Speaker 1: that something that we should be uncomfortable with? And a
Speaker 1: product like lube. I have friends that have pcos. I
Speaker 1: have friends that get bacterial infections and thrushes from using
Speaker 1: products that have fragrances and chemicals and shit ingredients. I
Speaker 1: care about what goes in and down there, you really do.
Speaker 1: And if I'm going to use a product, it needs
Speaker 1: to be natural. So being able to create a product
Speaker 1: and be in full control of what's actually going in
Speaker 1: that it's amazing, so important. It was really tough, and
Speaker 1: we obviously went ahead with a product and it's now
Speaker 1: live on the website shameless Plug. But it's an incredible product. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was just an example of things can get really,
Speaker 1: really noisy, and it would be so easy to just
Speaker 1: be like, oh, fuck it, it's too hard, like everyone's unhappy.
Speaker 1: My people please wanted to come out and just get
Speaker 1: rid of it. And even a couple of comments were like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is off brand, it's not what the Hideaway's about.
Speaker 1: Hideaway isn't sexual. And I'm like, I did say to
Speaker 1: one of my stuff and was almost maybe steve'said it.
Speaker 1: So when my mom first started Hideaway, do you know
Speaker 1: her most sold out products what they were? They were
Speaker 1: soaps in the shapes of dicks and boobs. My poor
Speaker 1: mum could not keep up. They were the most sold
Speaker 1: out products for Hens and like Bachelotte parties. That's and
Speaker 1: we still laugh about it now because like I would
Speaker 1: go and visit her on a Saturday and she's just
Speaker 1: in the kitchen with these dick molds soaps and she's
Speaker 1: packing them up for these beautiful like Hens.
Speaker 2: It is so good.
Speaker 1: So like we never copped any hate around it for then,
Speaker 1: and we haven't copped any hate around the launch of
Speaker 1: the Lube If anything, it was full of support. We've
Speaker 1: had physios reach out and say like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I've got women that have just had babies and they
Speaker 1: need a natural product. It's really cool, Like it's a
Speaker 1: really cool product. But it was definitely a really hard
Speaker 1: moment for me of this feels so noisy. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: when I bring myself back and I ground myself, this
Speaker 1: feels right for me and my business and Steve, and
Speaker 1: we're gonna go ahead with this. Yeah, And yeah, ruffled
Speaker 1: a few feathers and a few staff members were not
Speaker 1: happy about it, and I'm so glad they voiced it.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad they felt safe enough. And like I said,
Speaker 1: we value their opinion, but sometimes you just have to
Speaker 1: do what's right for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I could have easily gone into people pleasing and
Speaker 1: just canceled the product. And we invested, like, you know,
Speaker 1: over two hundred thousand dollars in this product. Imagine just
Speaker 1: throwing that all.
Speaker 2: Away, Like, and how quickly it is, even what you
Speaker 2: mentioned about Steve saying oh did we make the rocks,
Speaker 2: Like how easy it is when there's noise around you,
Speaker 2: how quickly you can go to question then your own
Speaker 2: judgment yep. And it's just like so easy can switch
Speaker 2: and you.
Speaker 1: Can do it in a workplace, in the relationship, in
Speaker 1: any situation. When it's so noisy, you do start to
Speaker 1: doubt yourself for that minute. And that's why it's so important.
Speaker 1: I love that like off center analogy, Like if you're
Speaker 1: in the middle and then you slide to the left
Speaker 1: or slide to the right, you're not fully clear. Bring
Speaker 1: yourself back to center by slowing down and getting back
Speaker 1: connected to your body take a big breath. For me,
Speaker 1: I was like, why did I want to bring this
Speaker 1: product out? I can't get anything in Australia. I care
Speaker 1: about what I use down there. I love sex, I
Speaker 1: love talking about it. I normalize it more and I'm
Speaker 1: in full control of what's actually going into this product.
Speaker 1: I know this is going to help a lot of people. Yeah, yes, Seguin,
Speaker 1: it's a big fuck yes for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it kind of like drowned the noise out. So
Speaker 1: if you're ever in a spot where you feel like
Speaker 1: it's very noisy, just come back to you, come back
Speaker 1: to your body, come back to your heart, come back
Speaker 1: to your breath. Take your time slow and you'll get
Speaker 1: super clear.
Speaker 2: Oh I love that.
Speaker 1: It's tricky.
Speaker 2: Yeah it is, but it's when you sit in the silence.
Speaker 1: Exactly, it all come up. Yeah, let the thoughts and
Speaker 1: the disappointment and all the things that came up when
Speaker 1: I first sat with myself. I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this feels so uncomfortable. And I don't want anyone upset
Speaker 1: with me, but I want my stuff being upset. I
Speaker 1: don't want them feeling ashamed of our brand because we've
Speaker 1: got a product that's sex related.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that doesn't feel aligned, or if there's scary, feel
Speaker 2: edgy to even look at or talk about it.
Speaker 1: I don't want them feeling like that. Then. I'm also like,
Speaker 1: even this podcast, we do trigger people sometimes, Yeah, and good.
Speaker 1: I want to ruffle your feathers. I want you to
Speaker 1: think outside the box. I want you to see what
Speaker 1: blocks you have. I want you to see where there's shame.
Speaker 1: I want you to explore who's told you what along
Speaker 1: the way that makes you have a story that that's wrong, bad, dirty,
Speaker 1: or whatever. I want that. I hope they can go
Speaker 1: within and have that internal conversation with themselves, because anytime
Speaker 1: I'm triggered by something, especially when it used to be
Speaker 1: around sex. It took a lot of bravery to sit
Speaker 1: with that and go, why do I think that's slutty
Speaker 1: or dirty or bad? Why am I judging her for
Speaker 1: doing that? Ah, that's my own shit. I wouldn't do
Speaker 1: that because I've been told that that's bad. And when
Speaker 1: you get to unpack that, you dissolve the shame and
Speaker 1: you can just even if you don't decide to do
Speaker 1: any of it, you can just accept people for what
Speaker 1: they're doing. Yes, we're going to do another episode on
Speaker 1: what we think about OnlyFans sexual energy. Yes, how we are,
Speaker 1: where we are, different friends we have, and how they
Speaker 1: like to live. Because it's such a cool, important conversation.
Speaker 2: Is way too much shame around it, and it's very
Speaker 2: clear even in our DMS, a lot of women coming
Speaker 2: through being like, oh my god, thank you so much
Speaker 2: for talking about this, because it's just there's so much
Speaker 2: stigma around sex, especially, there's so much shame, and it
Speaker 2: just doesn't have to be A dirty doesn't have an
Speaker 2: uncomfortable conversation, Yeah, it really doesn't. Yeah, So another thing
Speaker 2: I can relate to the business thing, but mine kind
Speaker 2: of looks a little bit differently. So I've loved having
Speaker 2: business coaches, and throughout my growth journey of like creating
Speaker 2: my coaching business and all of that, it has been really,
Speaker 2: really helpful, especially in the moments where somebody else has
Speaker 2: already taken all the steps. I'm just plugging into them
Speaker 2: to help me learn those steps.
Speaker 1: So cool.
Speaker 2: That has been absolutely a game changer for my life
Speaker 2: and for the way that I've learned how to run
Speaker 2: and build a business. However, the only thing with that
Speaker 2: is when you are also looking towards somebody else and
Speaker 2: you think that they're above you, or you see that
Speaker 2: them is more experienced, more educated, more xyz. Sometimes their
Speaker 2: opinion can also be the thing that blocks you from
Speaker 2: what you want deep down. So true, right, because as
Speaker 2: you think, but this person knows more than me at
Speaker 2: least that's why I thought stool Yeah, which is a
Speaker 2: whole lot of conversation, right, But I remember thinking towards
Speaker 2: my business coaches, they know more than me. Of course
Speaker 2: I would listen to them. They're telling me that because
Speaker 2: they've done business this way, this would be a good
Speaker 2: way for me to do it. But then three years
Speaker 2: down the line, I felt so disconnected from the way
Speaker 2: that I was running my business because I was trying
Speaker 2: to listen to somebody else as opposed to really listen
Speaker 2: to what my intuitive pool said. And same thing when
Speaker 2: I had partners, like we've spoken about this before, when
Speaker 2: I've had relationships with men who are really successful in business,
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, I'm going to listen to
Speaker 2: you and do business your way because it's working for you.
Speaker 2: You're really good at it, and you are very convicted
Speaker 2: in what you're talking about. And those moments where I
Speaker 2: shifted into their way of doing business, I found myself
Speaker 2: so emotionally drained and overwhelmed because I was so far
Speaker 2: away from what Tiana wanted. That I was mirroring their
Speaker 2: way of life, their dream, their way of doing things
Speaker 2: that I just felt so disconnected from myself. It really
Speaker 2: did take a lot of time for me to sit
Speaker 2: with myself and go, what is this discomfort that I'm
Speaker 2: feeling with in myself? Why is this creating such discord
Speaker 2: in who I am and how I feel day to day?
Speaker 2: Why am I so emotionally drained? And when I started
Speaker 2: to sit with that and stop running from that feeling,
Speaker 2: I started listening and I was like, Okay, what is
Speaker 2: it that you actually want and it's okay if it
Speaker 2: doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And when I started to listen to that, I started
Speaker 2: to follow my intuition and my heart and how I
Speaker 2: genuinely wanted to live my life as opposed to what
Speaker 2: somebody else thought that I should do. It wasn't to
Speaker 2: say that their way was wrong or bad. It was
Speaker 2: beautiful and it was amazing and helped me and was
Speaker 2: really smart, right, but for me and who I am
Speaker 2: and like, that doesn't feel aligned with me. So it
Speaker 2: really took being willing to go thank you so much
Speaker 2: for your opinion and your input, and I love and
Speaker 2: respect that. And also I'm going to do what's best
Speaker 2: for me. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And every business is so different man runs a business
Speaker 1: to how a woman runs Yes, is so different too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's cool when you can learn from them. But
Speaker 1: then it's so nice to go back to, like, actually,
Speaker 1: what do I want to do and what's my outcoming?
Speaker 1: What's my lifestyle? Like do I want to be working
Speaker 1: like they do?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Maybe not?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I just thought it was really cool to
Speaker 2: just bring up because sometimes we do do that, like
Speaker 2: when we think that someone's more educated or knows more
Speaker 2: or has more experience in a certain area where like
Speaker 2: immediately they know better than me. Yeah, but it's not
Speaker 2: always the case, and yes they might know right for
Speaker 2: them and what's worked for them, but really just connecting
Speaker 2: back with yourself first and going, no, I know what
Speaker 2: I want to do. Ultimately, Yes, it's important to connect with.
Speaker 1: That ondred percent. Another example I've got is recently with
Speaker 1: Rambos passing, I briefly spoke about how I was struggling
Speaker 1: with the grief and how I wanted to get some support. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and there was some messages saying that like I shouldn't
Speaker 1: need that because it's not my son, and then I
Speaker 1: like carry shame around how much I was struggling, And
Speaker 1: I still sometimes have that intrusive thought of like, oh
Speaker 1: think you're struggling. How do you think Megan's feeling, and
Speaker 1: like valid like what I'm feeling is nothing compared to
Speaker 1: what she's feeling. But the outside noise and judgment around
Speaker 1: how I should be grieving has prevented me from getting support,
Speaker 1: And logically, when I pull myself out, I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: if I get support, I'm being held and I'm allowing
Speaker 1: space to cry and to grieve, I can then hold
Speaker 1: her better. I can then be stronger for her. But
Speaker 1: right now, when I'm around her, like I crumble, like
Speaker 1: I struggle, I feel like I'm not the best at
Speaker 1: She reminds me nearly every second day how much I
Speaker 1: hold her, and she's so thankful for me, and you
Speaker 1: know all the things. I've got a beautiful bond and
Speaker 1: we do the best we can. But yeah, I feel
Speaker 1: like I would be able to hold her better if
Speaker 1: I got support. But yeah, it's the outside noise once again,
Speaker 1: which is the theme of this whole conversation, is how
Speaker 1: much are we listening to that outside noise and what's
Speaker 1: our actual truth, what feels right for us. But I'm
Speaker 1: honoring myself. I would be getting support, but I haven't
Speaker 1: done that because of the outside noise.
Speaker 2: And you know, the crazy thing about that as well,
Speaker 2: is like, who's to say that your grief isn't valid
Speaker 2: just because it might not have happened directly to you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, it's like immediately dismissing the fact that you're
Speaker 2: so plugged into Magsie. You've been her fucking absolute rock
Speaker 2: throughout this whole experience, and you were there every single day,
Speaker 2: whether people saw it or not, you know, and you
Speaker 2: did such a beautiful job and you still are.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: It's like, who's to say that that's not worthy of
Speaker 2: being supported just because it didn't happen to you directly, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it has. You're so plugged into her, their family to
Speaker 2: you like you did lose someone too, and it's just
Speaker 2: it's hard the outside noise.
Speaker 1: And it's like you've watched her lose her son, and
Speaker 1: I'm sure you might feel like this with Lucy in
Speaker 1: her family, but you also watch them lose a part
Speaker 1: of themselves. Yeah, I think I'm gonna cry now, It's okay.
Speaker 1: I think that's really hard because I'm like, I feel
Speaker 1: like that part of Magsie is not going to come back,
Speaker 1: you know. I feel like when she smiles now, like
Speaker 1: it's a difference smiley, and like there's still joy there
Speaker 1: every day for her and she's honestly, she's the most
Speaker 1: amazing person the way she's grieving through this. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I think that's a big part of the
Speaker 1: grief that people don't talk about. It's really weird, it's
Speaker 1: hard to explain. I think she feels that too, Like
Speaker 1: she literally cleaned it, even like little things she cleaned
Speaker 1: out her whole wardrobe, and she's like, that wardrobe is
Speaker 1: not me anymore, Like that part of me is dead.
Speaker 1: And it's so true, and I think that's I miss
Speaker 1: that makes you too. You just want her to be
Speaker 1: happy and have that energy about herself when I know
Speaker 1: there'll be I see, I see lights of it, I
Speaker 1: see moments of it. But yeah, it's grieving Rambo. It's
Speaker 1: grieving what she had. It's greeving who she was. It's
Speaker 1: grieving what I know she was so looking forward to
Speaker 1: all little moments with Rambo. It's grieving what she was
Speaker 1: providing for Sonny with a sibling. It's grieving Thor's first child.
Speaker 1: Is like so much of it, even like Tala with her,
Speaker 1: Like Tala is obsessed with Rambo hold hold like she
Speaker 1: doesn't wanted to be in a monkst like kissing him,
Speaker 1: loving on him. There's just so much in that. But yeah,
Speaker 1: the noise outside of people's judgments on how they think
Speaker 1: you should grieve or how they think you should show up,
Speaker 1: even like coming back online. Oh yeah, Mauta hate I
Speaker 1: copture that. How dare you be happy? How dare you
Speaker 1: post a dancing video? How I can't believe you in
Speaker 1: promoting the.
Speaker 2: Podcast posting on sheer Rises.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it was bad. It was so bad, and
Speaker 1: it's like, oh my gosh, okay, so what's their rule
Speaker 1: book around how I should be? And just because you
Speaker 1: see a little dance video, you don't see how I
Speaker 1: am at night. You don't see how I am during
Speaker 1: the day. You don't see the moments where I'm like
Speaker 1: drowning in it. You're seeing a fucking little happy ten.
Speaker 2: Second video or even what's funny is like it's not
Speaker 2: funny at all, actually, but like the dancing videos, and
Speaker 2: then it's like two minutes later, they're not seeing, oh
Speaker 2: you break down or like put on a smile for
Speaker 2: the video and then be like we're hugging after it.
Speaker 2: That's what it was racking down.
Speaker 1: And it was you at our masquerade events. One saw
Speaker 1: you having a great time, and I saw some comments
Speaker 1: around that. I'm like, you weren't with her the whole
Speaker 1: day to see her crying. You saw her put on
Speaker 1: a brave face and get through the event and do
Speaker 1: the best you could be. You went with her all day,
Speaker 1: Like shut the fuck up, Okay, so angry about that.
Speaker 1: I was like Alice Hart and Horse like they don't
Speaker 1: see all of that. And that's the thing with grief.
Speaker 1: It's like no one has an opinion. You're not in it,
Speaker 1: you don't know how you're gonna be. You can think
Speaker 1: that you wouldn't do. X y Z even makes it
Speaker 1: for her, like she's always had a resistance to show
Speaker 1: up online and now it's like this beautiful outlet for her,
Speaker 1: for her to share her story and like, okay, sorry,
Speaker 1: so tough, isn't it. Take a moment reminded me of
Speaker 1: that day. Of course, it was fucking hard.
Speaker 2: Like how hard it was to put on a brave
Speaker 2: face that day so hard.
Speaker 1: It's like the morning of like finding out that she
Speaker 1: had passed that morning was so hard, you know, and
Speaker 1: then just having the funeral two days ago.
Speaker 2: It's just very much in my field right now, you.
Speaker 1: Know, of course, and I always will be.
Speaker 2: I just like can relate to what you were saying
Speaker 2: around like being plugged into someone and you're grieving your
Speaker 2: own you're holding your own grief, and then you're watching
Speaker 2: the people who loved the person who you're grieving as well,
Speaker 2: you know, you being plugged into Megsi me watching Lucy's
Speaker 2: like older sister who they will like glued at the hip,
Speaker 2: you know, like literally like wailing at her funeral two
Speaker 2: days ago. And then like what you said, like the
Speaker 2: part of Megsi that you feel that might not ever
Speaker 2: come back because a part of hers passed with Rambo.
Speaker 2: And you know, all of the dreams and things that
Speaker 2: like don't get to like come to life now because
Speaker 2: of you know, grief and healing.
Speaker 1: Grief is not linear. It is not you feel this
Speaker 1: on one day and then in six months time you're
Speaker 1: all good. Every day is so different and little things
Speaker 1: can trigger it to like I can hear a certain song,
Speaker 1: I can see a rainbow, I can have a memory
Speaker 1: probable on Facebook taler like I had a video message
Speaker 1: from Megsi the other day and she was upset and
Speaker 1: Tyler's next to me. First thing she said when she
Speaker 1: saw Ani Meggie Animegi love Rambo. Oh and she doesn't
Speaker 1: know what Meggsi is talking about. Yeah, just saw her
Speaker 1: have tears in her eyes and she fucking knows this
Speaker 1: does not go away. And like yes, even Megsie and
Speaker 1: thought fine moments of joy and gratitude and love and
Speaker 1: they experience even pleasure again. But it's always there, always there.
Speaker 2: Just something that changes you, doesn't it. You always hear
Speaker 2: people who go through grief and they just like come
Speaker 2: out a different person on the other side.
Speaker 1: Said to mom, and the other day, I'm like this
Speaker 1: ever go away? Yeah? Ever? Just I don't know, like
Speaker 1: go a day where you don't think about it, that's
Speaker 1: not hovering over you or horring over them, or just
Speaker 1: like in the back of your mind like a little niggle.
Speaker 1: I hate the good haunting, but it feels like it
Speaker 1: just like haunts you. It's just there, you know. It's
Speaker 1: really hard. I've never experienced something like this, touch Wood.
Speaker 1: I've been very lucky not to lose a lot of people,
Speaker 1: but losing a child like man and watching someone you
Speaker 1: love so much lose someone they love so much, it's
Speaker 1: just unbearable.
Speaker 2: Isn't it.
Speaker 1: But back on the conversation of Noise, you really have
Speaker 1: to just go back in and do what's right for you,
Speaker 1: because no one has any right to tell you how
Speaker 1: you should be feeling, healing, grieving, what to do in
Speaker 1: your life. Like only you know what's best for you,
Speaker 1: and you've got to honor that. But it's really hard
Speaker 1: when there's so much outside noise, And sometimes I think
Speaker 1: that's why a lot of people online only show their
Speaker 1: highlight reel. There's so much judgment to be like, oh,
Speaker 1: be raw, be authentic, like show more. But it's like
Speaker 1: when you do, you get slammed. Yeah, or people have
Speaker 1: criticized and judge the way that you're doing yet And
Speaker 1: sometimes I don't like to share something until I'm through
Speaker 1: the other side and I can teach the lessons. But
Speaker 1: something like this, it's like, I don't know why this
Speaker 1: has happened. I don't know how we're going to get
Speaker 1: out of this. I don't know what's next. I don't
Speaker 1: know how I'm going to feel tomorrow. How makes it's
Speaker 1: going to feel like, I don't know. This is raw
Speaker 1: as it get.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is like day by day, isn't it.
Speaker 1: It really is? Yeah, the outside noise.
Speaker 2: With the outside noise as well. It's just a really
Speaker 2: important thing. If you are someone who relies on other
Speaker 2: people's opinions quite heavily, justin know that the way that
Speaker 2: you filter out of doing that is every single time
Speaker 2: that you want to ask somebody for their opinion, just
Speaker 2: stop yourself for a second. Instead of messaging that person,
Speaker 2: go into your phone notes and type down what you
Speaker 2: think that you should do, and just explore what your
Speaker 2: opinion is first before you add somebody else's opinion. And
Speaker 2: also other people's opinion can also be a really good thing. Okay,
Speaker 2: So we're not saying like, don't ask for support, don't
Speaker 2: ask for the people. We literally like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: we absolutely do it daily, right, and it's important and
Speaker 2: you value those people so much, but also it's important
Speaker 2: to strengthen your own as well. And that's like the
Speaker 2: core of this conversation is just knowing that no one
Speaker 2: outside of you except your best friend, like ashually for me,
Speaker 2: is gonna know better for you. You know you best, yes,
Speaker 2: and you can also do really hard things and find
Speaker 2: uncomfortable answers within yourself, but you just have to give
Speaker 2: yourself enough space to be able to discover it because
Speaker 2: it will always come.
Speaker 1: I love that you said that. Something else I just
Speaker 1: thought of them too. It's like, yeah, we know each
Speaker 1: other's internal worlds, and sometimes I think we do know
Speaker 1: what's worth for each other.
Speaker 2: We do.
Speaker 1: Aka your past relationship, however, I think you knew for
Speaker 1: a very long time that that was not going to
Speaker 1: be your person. But all divine timing. You had to
Speaker 1: go through that whole process. You had to have those
Speaker 1: conversations with yourself, with him, with your dad, with me.
Speaker 1: You had to do all of that to get to
Speaker 1: that point of fully knowing. And that's why I encouraged you.
Speaker 1: Even though I think I knew that this wasn't going
Speaker 1: to be your person, I fully encouraged to do it
Speaker 1: because you had to go through that experience. It's all
Speaker 1: in divine timing. It's like we've all had those friends
Speaker 1: that have gone back to toxic x's or people that
Speaker 1: you know, like, oh, you know, you're not happy. It's
Speaker 1: like in her own time, when she's ready, something will happen.
Speaker 1: She'll get out of that when she's ready. It's like
Speaker 1: trusting them to trust themselves and allow them to go
Speaker 1: on their journey. It's not yours to control. When they ask,
Speaker 1: you can give your opinion in a soft, beautiful, safe way,
Speaker 1: but like, let them have their journey, let them do
Speaker 1: their thing.
Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, you're right, Yeah, there was a part.
Speaker 2: That's why I had so much internal conflict because there
Speaker 2: were things in the relationship that weren't what I needed
Speaker 2: to feel safe and feel loved in the way that
Speaker 2: I feel that way, you know, in the way that
Speaker 2: I feel safe and feel loved, and I think there
Speaker 2: were things that were missing that were always kind of
Speaker 2: present for me. That's why I had that internal conflict
Speaker 2: of maybe I should go, maybe I should stay, and
Speaker 2: never really knowing which way to go. But it was
Speaker 2: being able to explore all of my options, listen to myself,
Speaker 2: and even though I made that decision to go and
Speaker 2: have that conversation, the reason why I believe I felt
Speaker 2: so okay after it didn't go that way, I was
Speaker 2: like cool, Like, yeah, that was exactly how it was
Speaker 2: meant to go, because a part of me was like,
Speaker 2: this is the right path, this was meant to happen.
Speaker 1: It was beautifully done. I wouldn't change it.
Speaker 2: No, it's the best. So grateful and have so much
Speaker 2: love and respect for him still.
Speaker 1: And also just so proud of like how you showed
Speaker 1: up and how you handled that communicated that Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you could have shied away from honoring even having that
Speaker 1: conversation of like putting your heart on the line to
Speaker 1: have this conversation again, Like it was so cool to
Speaker 1: witness you go through that because I think so many
Speaker 1: people would avoid Yeah, being so vulnerable, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's one more example too. I was just thinking of before,
Speaker 1: Oh tell us. When I was first studying to become
Speaker 1: a personal trainer, I never listened to myself, but I
Speaker 1: remember someone saying to me, oh my gosh, don't be
Speaker 1: a PTE. It is oversaturated. You'll never be able to
Speaker 1: get clients, like there's just too many people. And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, oh my god, they're right, and I
Speaker 1: literally went home to see if. I was like, Babe,
Speaker 1: I like, I don't think I can continue this course
Speaker 1: because it's so saturated, like I fully believed there were
Speaker 1: like it was freaking Bible. I was like, certain, I
Speaker 1: can't do this. They won't won't be enough clients, will
Speaker 1: never be able to pay my bills. And he looks
Speaker 1: at me. He's like, who the fuck told you that, babe?
Speaker 1: Like ten thousand pets in a year, ten thousand PD's out. Yes,
Speaker 1: He's like, there is always room for more preteens. When
Speaker 1: you offer, someone else can't offer how they connect with you,
Speaker 1: they won't connect with someone else, like beautiful. What I
Speaker 1: offer compared to what you offer is totally different. You're
Speaker 1: this like emotional safe person who can talk about body
Speaker 1: love is like I just run the sessions like I'm
Speaker 1: a great trainer. Don't talk about that stuff.
Speaker 2: You go.
Speaker 1: Everyone's so different and you will attract clients that are
Speaker 1: right for you. Imagine if I listened to that person,
Speaker 1: I then went on to be completely booked out and
Speaker 1: have seventy five locations across Australia, completely booked out of
Speaker 1: boot cams and a world tour, had successful apps with
Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of women that download it.
Speaker 2: That's bad US.
Speaker 1: That was a bad US pet move.
Speaker 2: Yeah you damn. I'm glad I became a pet like
Speaker 2: you didn't listen to that guy.
Speaker 1: Exactly, But how easy it can be to listen to
Speaker 1: the outside noise and take their shit on. It's their
Speaker 1: own projection, it's their own limiting beliefs, so just be
Speaker 1: super aware. It's always like wrap yourself in bubble wrap.
Speaker 1: You can hear it, but let it bounce away. If
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good, yeah, you know it's good. Anyways,
Speaker 1: we hope this episode lands for you and just check
Speaker 1: in where you're listening to the outside noise and if
Speaker 1: it's feeling overwhelming, go back to your body, your breath
Speaker 1: and your heart, and then you'll get clarity and what's
Speaker 1: right for you.
Speaker 2: Just one last thing I was squeezing there and something
Speaker 2: that I actually said to my girlfriend two days ago,
Speaker 2: who was in two minds about something I just said
Speaker 2: to her. Whenever you feel like you're trying to make
Speaker 2: it tough to see, just explore both avenues. Yes, be
Speaker 2: willing to not have a biased opinion on what you're
Speaker 2: going through or what you're trying to make a decision on,
Speaker 2: and go, Okay, what would it look like if I
Speaker 2: went all the way this way? And then what would
Speaker 2: it look like if I went all the way the
Speaker 2: opposite way? Because then you can logically make a decision,
Speaker 2: but also intuitively pay attention to your feelings because then
Speaker 2: you're going, I'm laying everything out on the table. I'm
Speaker 2: actually really clear about what both directions would look like,
Speaker 2: and then using your intuition, like your connection with yourself,
Speaker 2: to go, okay, which one feels aligned for me, and
Speaker 2: then making a decision based on that, and you.
Speaker 1: Get to choose. Yeah, that's your power. You get to
Speaker 1: choose your life.
Speaker 2: And then you can make an informed decision. Yeah it's beautiful,
Speaker 2: all right, guys.
Speaker 1: Episode don't forget if you haven't got tickets to our
Speaker 1: October event links below, We're coming to Brisbane three hours
Speaker 1: of fun, connection, learn and growing. Meet and greets, goodie bags,
Speaker 1: live entertainment, guests, speakers all the rest October seventeenth, and
Speaker 1: get a ticket and we'll see in the next episode.
Speaker 2: Bag