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Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashi

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Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is.

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Speaker 2: About female empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest,

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Speaker 2: and most authentic version of yourself.

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Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone

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Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.

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Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. Welcome back

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Speaker 2: to another episode of She Rises with your favorite.

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Speaker 1: Co hosts Ashy and Tiana.

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Speaker 2: Really, I'm so excited to be here with you today.

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Speaker 2: This episode is going to be all about being at

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Speaker 2: a crossroads in your life. So if you are finding

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Speaker 2: yourself in two minds, you're struggling to trust yourself, or

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Speaker 2: you're just finding it really challenging to make decisions, We're

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Speaker 2: going to help you uncover about what to do next,

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Speaker 2: how to make decisions for you, and how we both

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Speaker 2: in our personal lives have had experiences where we have

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Speaker 2: been at that crossroads and what we've kind of have

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Speaker 2: done to essentially get out of.

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Speaker 1: It and all the outside noise comes along with it.

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Speaker 1: And we're going to share some personal stories recently that's

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Speaker 1: happened to us and how hard it's been to make

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Speaker 1: decisions because you're trying to listen to your own gut

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Speaker 1: intuition and what's right for you. Then you're also wanting

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Speaker 1: the opinions of the people that you trust, and then

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Speaker 1: there's also the outside noise of social media and it

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Speaker 1: can feel a lot. But before we get into it,

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Speaker 1: what is your share of the week?

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Speaker 2: My Share of the Week is actually a YouTube channel.

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Speaker 2: It's called Yoga Nidra. I don't know if you've heard

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Speaker 2: it before, but essentially it's a total nervous system reset.

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Speaker 2: So it's a type of meditation that you can do

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Speaker 2: and they have videos anywhere from five minutes all the

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Speaker 2: way up to thirty minutes, and you can choose based

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Speaker 2: on how much or little time that you have. So

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Speaker 2: it's Yoga Nidra and IDR with Ali.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yoga or meditations or both mixed together.

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Speaker 2: No, So you're lying down, it's yoga.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like it's yoga.

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Speaker 2: Hey, it sounds like it's an actual yoga, but it's not.

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Speaker 2: It's meditation. And you're lying down and you close your

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Speaker 2: eyes and you kind of just listen and you go

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Speaker 2: through the process with her.

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Speaker 1: Between yoga Nietra and normal meditation.

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Speaker 2: This one, I feel is very body away. So she

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Speaker 2: gets you to focus on Let's say, for example, you've

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Speaker 2: got your eyes closed and she'll take you through. Okay, now,

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Speaker 2: soften your shoulders and connect with your breath, and she

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Speaker 2: gets you to kind of go through all of your

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Speaker 2: body parts and really allow yourself to kind of sink

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Speaker 2: into the mattress. It's a really cool experience.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that you have spoken about those quite

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Speaker 1: a lot.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 1: That's awesome. I'm going to recommend where I go for

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Speaker 1: my skin. I absolutely love it. I've been on a

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Speaker 1: skin journey for a very long time. When I came

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Speaker 1: off the pill when I was twenty three, I had

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Speaker 1: crazy acne and from there I picked it. I had scars,

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Speaker 1: got a lot of acupuntia, I worked my gut health

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Speaker 1: cleared up my skin, and that I was left with

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Speaker 1: a lot of scarring discolouration. I just don't have like

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Speaker 1: that really even complexion. So I go to bo Aesthetics

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Speaker 1: and I see a girl called Tara, and the main

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Speaker 1: treatment I'm getting is skin needling and altering with called

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Speaker 1: skin genesis, and it's a type of laser treatment, but

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Speaker 1: there's no downtime, and I want to go out in

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Speaker 1: the sun and walk and like do my thing and train.

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Speaker 1: So Genesis instantly afterwards, you'll walk out and your skin

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Speaker 1: is glowing stuff. I love it. So I've beginning that

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Speaker 1: once a month, been going for a skin treatment. It's

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Speaker 1: also the same place that I get my botox and

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Speaker 1: I get my lips some once a year. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: they're just awesome. I love the girls there. I feel

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Speaker 1: like they're very experienced, they're very more on the natural side.

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Speaker 1: So if you've been thinking about going down that route,

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Speaker 1: or you want someone to really take care of your

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Speaker 1: skin who's so passionate, go and see the girls at boasts.

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Speaker 1: They're awesome. Have to look in not sponsored by the way.

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Speaker 1: I genuinely just love them. And I get asked about

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Speaker 1: it all the time where I go for that kind

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Speaker 1: of stuff and they're in Palm Beach, So.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you do rave about those girls.

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Speaker 1: Oh I love that.

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Speaker 2: Oh beautiful. All right, let's get stuck into it.

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Speaker 1: Oh, let's get stuck into it.

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Speaker 2: So it can be really challenging when we're going through

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Speaker 2: something and like all we want to do is get

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Speaker 2: the people around us to rally around us, you know, like,

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Speaker 2: especially if we're in a place where we don't feel

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Speaker 2: like we can trust ourselves, the first thing that you

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Speaker 2: want to do is like go to somebody for support

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Speaker 2: because you're like, what's your opinion?

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Speaker 1: And you value their opinion so much.

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Speaker 2: You do because you love them and you care about them,

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Speaker 2: and you know that they care about you too.

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Speaker 1: And you care about what they think too. Oh big.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but sometimes that can also be a conflicting thing

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Speaker 2: because maybe what they share with you is something that

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Speaker 2: is not what you feel deep down. Yeah, And then

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Speaker 2: sometimes it can be really hard to discern, Okay, should

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Speaker 2: I listen to this person or should I listen to myself?

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Speaker 2: When you're really struggling to trust yourself, I can be

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Speaker 2: a really challenging thing to do.

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Speaker 1: And then sometimes you've got your rose colored glasses on

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Speaker 1: or you're so deep in it you can't see things

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Speaker 1: that they can see. Then it can also be triggering

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Speaker 1: when they bring that up and you're like, oh, well

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Speaker 1: that's not how it is. Yes, you know, it can

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Speaker 1: be really hard.

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Speaker 2: I think, just like a bit of a personal experience,

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Speaker 2: not when I was with silver Fox, when I was

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Speaker 2: with my relationship before that yes, there was a fair

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Speaker 2: bit of that for me. I was really into minds

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Speaker 2: in the relationship just because of things that we were

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Speaker 2: kind of navigating through, and it was a really conflicting time.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I kind of lost myself in that relationship.

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Speaker 2: And I remember coming to you and just saying, this

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Speaker 2: is how I'm feeling, this is what's happening. And I

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Speaker 2: remember when you first came to me and you know,

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Speaker 2: shared with me your opinion on it. I remember feeling

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Speaker 2: that like internal resistance of like, but I don't want

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Speaker 2: that to be true. And then I remember going to

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Speaker 2: you and then bouncing to my dad and then going

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Speaker 2: to my sister, and everyone's opinion was the same because

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Speaker 2: obviously they're not emotionally invested in it, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: so deeply in love, so what I thought? And I

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Speaker 2: had my rose colored glasses on.

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Speaker 1: You know, it does get so noisy. Yeah, it's cool

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Speaker 1: because when we share stuff with each other, we know

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Speaker 1: it's from a place of love or it's not a

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Speaker 1: place of judgment. And I kept reminding you too, like

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Speaker 1: anything we say we're not in the relationship. It is

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Speaker 1: so easy to sit here on my high horse out

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Speaker 1: here going well, what about this and what about that?

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Speaker 1: And you said this and about this. You know you're

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Speaker 1: the only one in it. So even after we had

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Speaker 1: that discussion, I almost like encourage you to go and

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Speaker 1: explore it again. Yeah, I was like, you have to

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Speaker 1: be one hundred percent sure that this is the right

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Speaker 1: decision for you or not the right decision for you.

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Speaker 1: You almost need to block all of us out for

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Speaker 1: a moment. And what was Tiana want?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so just to give you guys some context around

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Speaker 2: what I she's talking about. So obviously not silver Fox,

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Speaker 2: but my relationship before that, I was very much in

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Speaker 2: love with this man, and we were together for about

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Speaker 2: a year and a half, and I genuinely thought that

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Speaker 2: this man was going to be like my life partner.

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Speaker 2: Everything lined up, everything seemed good on paper, Like we

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Speaker 2: had a couple of challenges that kind of stopped us

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Speaker 2: from being able to really move forward in the relationship. However,

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Speaker 2: once I ended up leaving, I thought I made the

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Speaker 2: right decision and I thought then I was done. I

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Speaker 2: was like, Okay, I've kind of at my limit. This

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Speaker 2: is where I leave. Saying this relationship would mean me

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Speaker 2: abandoning myself more than I already was, and so I

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Speaker 2: felt like I needed to let go, and I did,

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Speaker 2: and then I chose to move on and I got

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Speaker 2: with Silver Fox. And after that relationship, I realized I

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Speaker 2: was kind of distracting myself from addressing like the heartbreak

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Speaker 2: that I was feeling from that relationship. Yeah, and I

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Speaker 2: honestly thought I was doing the right thing. Like I

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Speaker 2: just thought, Okay, well, this isn't working, so I need

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Speaker 2: to force myself to move on because I need to

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Speaker 2: protect myself now.

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Speaker 1: So many people could relate to that I reckon.

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Speaker 2: And then after Silver Fox and I kind of split

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Speaker 2: and I left him and decided that I wasn't maybe

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Speaker 2: in it for the right reasons, and I just wasn't

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Speaker 2: fair that I wasn't as in love with him as

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Speaker 2: he was with me. I had like a couple of

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Speaker 2: months of like grieving, and in that time, I realized

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Speaker 2: that I still was very much in love with my ex,

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Speaker 2: and just all of those feelings and all of the

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Speaker 2: love that I had came back. And you know when

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Speaker 2: your mind does that thing, or you never forget about

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Speaker 2: all the things.

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Speaker 1: That were wrong, or everyone listening's like yeah, a man, yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I just all of a sudden everything about the

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Speaker 2: relationship was good, you know, and it just reminded me

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Speaker 2: of all the beautiful times. And this was actually right

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Speaker 2: before Bali. Right before Bali, I was in this headspace

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Speaker 2: where I was like, okay, you know, and after having

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Speaker 2: lost Lucy. Lucy passed away right before Bali, and I

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Speaker 2: remember thinking to myself, like, life is so fucking short

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Speaker 2: if I don't reach out and let him know how

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Speaker 2: I was feeling and potentially try again, Like will it

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Speaker 2: be something that I regret for the rest of my life?

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Speaker 2: And I was so torn and so into minds and

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Speaker 2: just so scared of everyone's judgment around me potentially choosing that.

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Speaker 2: But then I just remember thinking to myself, like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I really need to like kind of go within and

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Speaker 2: I need to listen to what it is that I

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Speaker 2: want because at the end of the day, it would

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Speaker 2: have to be something that I live with. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: have to be the life that I lead, the person

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Speaker 2: that I'm lay in bed at night every single night

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Speaker 2: and spend the rest of my life with. And you

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Speaker 2: did you encourage me to be Like me and your

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Speaker 2: dad we're like, yeah, me to do this. You and

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Speaker 2: my dad were both like you've got to trust that

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Speaker 2: you've got to follow the pool. You've got to try,

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Speaker 2: because if you don't, then with wonder, you'll always wonder.

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Speaker 2: And I was really in this wondering mindset of like

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Speaker 2: what if you know? And then after having that conversation,

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Speaker 2: we like beautifully kind of like went our separate ways

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Speaker 2: and kind of I got everything off my chest and

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Speaker 2: then it wasn't meant to be something that we were

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Speaker 2: to explore again. And honestly, after that, I feel really

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Speaker 2: good and at peace with it, and just like I'm

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Speaker 2: able to let it go properly, and yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's so important to go within Sometimes I love having

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Speaker 1: the opinions of my close people, and so do you.

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Speaker 1: But ye, at the end of the day, like no

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Speaker 1: one else is in your shoes. Even though I'd give

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Speaker 1: my opinion when you asked, wasn't just like, ah, do

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Speaker 1: this and then asked what I thought? And I would

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Speaker 1: share things that you had shared with me or like

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Speaker 1: maybe remind you of how you might have been feeling.

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Speaker 1: I would also say, like, I'm not in it. I

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Speaker 1: didn't even know him from a bar soap, like I've

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Speaker 1: never spent time with him. I only know what you've

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Speaker 1: shared with me. And how you've felt only you know

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Speaker 1: in this and yeah, I just don't think you should

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Speaker 1: ever walk away from something until you're one hundred percent

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Speaker 1: ready and you one hundred percent know that you've tried everything,

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Speaker 1: you've explored everything, you've discussed everything, and both parties like

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Speaker 1: this isn't gonna work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think you did it so beautifully and you really

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Speaker 1: honored yourself. I think the timing was really beautiful as well,

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Speaker 1: because you've got to go Barley and just really be

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Speaker 1: with yourself and be still be with myself, yeah, but

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Speaker 1: still quite noisy and like you're still trying to work

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Speaker 1: and do all the things and grieve Lucy, and it

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Speaker 1: was just it was noisy.

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Speaker 2: It was very noisy. Yeah. Yeah. Having done that, honestly

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Speaker 2: was like what I needed to do. And when I

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Speaker 2: split up with him, I thought like, Okay, I've tried everything.

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Speaker 2: And then having had time and like a year apart

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Speaker 2: or however long it had been, I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: well maybe I still don't feel like I'm at that

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Speaker 2: point yet. And so me having had that conversation with

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Speaker 2: him allowed me to feel like, oh wow, okay. We

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Speaker 2: spoke about therapy, we spoke about what that would look

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Speaker 2: like and it's just like now it's no longer an option. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like once you did that too, you

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Speaker 1: were like, Okay, I'm ready now to live my life. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It was kind of all just like always niggling there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I've got a different experience with outside noise, and

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Speaker 1: it's business related. So anyone that owns a business, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you've ever been in a position like this,

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Speaker 1: or maybe you will, so listening to my story might

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Speaker 1: kind of pre prep you. In Hideaway, we love our

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Speaker 1: team and we value their opinions so much. We value

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Speaker 1: our customers' opinions and feedback, like even, for example, the

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Speaker 1: black perfume bottles. I loved those perfume bottles, but we

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Speaker 1: had so much feedback of people saying they look cheap

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Speaker 1: and tachy, so we changed them. Oh and it took

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Speaker 1: a long time, so many different samples and graphic designers

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Speaker 1: going back and forth and like, oh, I don't like

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Speaker 1: that about it. And now we've got the white bottles.

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Speaker 1: We had comments saying, oh, I prefer the black ones.

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Speaker 1: It's like, oh my gosh. So in business, what I've

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Speaker 1: learned lately, and I've always tried to be the cool boss,

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Speaker 1: the cool staff member that everyone likes, someone gets along with,

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Speaker 1: Oh she's so crazy. Like ah, Like, I've got this

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Speaker 1: story because my biggest wound is being abandoned or rejected

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Speaker 1: or not liked. I'm very well aware of it. Hence

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Speaker 1: why I don't want to be a team leader, because

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Speaker 1: I'm just not great at it. I just want to

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Speaker 1: be liked. But yes, Steve and I decided to bring

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Speaker 1: out natural lubricant. We thought this was a genius idea.

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Speaker 1: We were buying a natural loube from America. It was

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Speaker 1: costing me nearly one hundred and fifty dollars once I

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Speaker 1: paid for shipping, and the freaking product. Wow, it's like

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Speaker 1: a fifty meal tube. Yeah, not even a big tube.

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Speaker 1: We like to have sex. We go through that often.

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Speaker 1: So we thought we've got the means. We have our

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Speaker 1: own manufacturing warehouse where we make all of our products.

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Speaker 1: We can make this, So we decided to make it.

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Speaker 1: We first put it to the team. They were like

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Speaker 1: really hesitant, and not everyone, just a couple. There's a

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Speaker 1: bit of resistance. But we didn't realize the extent of

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Speaker 1: how uncomfortable it made a lot of people. And that's

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Speaker 1: another whole conversation I want to have later on. Not

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Speaker 1: to throw anyone on the bus or mentioned names. We

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Speaker 1: just noticed there was resistance and a lot of them

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Speaker 1: had really strong opinions on how damaging it would be

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Speaker 1: to the brand, how it wasn't aligned, it was going

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Speaker 1: to be bad on my name. I'm going to copple

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Speaker 1: a lot of hate media. We're going to jump on board.

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Speaker 1: It was uncomfortable. They want to work on it, and

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Speaker 1: Steve and I were really taken back. One I learned

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Speaker 1: that everyone's got a different opinion on everything, and sometimes

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Speaker 1: there's too many cooks in the kitchen. Secondly, this is

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Speaker 1: something Steve and I really want to do, and we

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Speaker 1: own the business. Yeah, our butt's on the line. We're

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Speaker 1: the one that have to pay the bills, make sure

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Speaker 1: everyone's covert, everyone's got a job like this is our decision,

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Speaker 1: so we had to stand strong by that. And Thirdly,

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Speaker 1: it was just very noisy and I found this really hard.

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Speaker 1: I was really rattled by it. Everyone's opinions and mixed opinions,

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Speaker 1: opinions that didn't agree with ours. Because we were just like,

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Speaker 1: we can't see the problem with this. I can't see

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Speaker 1: anything wrong with doing this, and it was really noisy,

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Speaker 1: and there was one night at home where it was

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Speaker 1: just really it was upsetting Steve and I and he's like,

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Speaker 1: have we made the wrong decision? Is this not aligned

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Speaker 1: with Hideaway? Is this off brand? And I was like, no, babe,

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Speaker 1: this is aligned for us. It's a very authentic product

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Speaker 1: for us. And sex is not something as you guys

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Speaker 1: know that I shy away from talking about. I want

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Speaker 1: it to feel so normal and so comfortable, because for me,

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Speaker 1: sex is connection. It's how we create life. It's pleasurable,

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Speaker 1: it's fun, and it's something we all do. Why is

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Speaker 1: that something that we should be uncomfortable with? And a

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00:13:23,641 --> 00:13:26,641
Speaker 1: product like lube. I have friends that have pcos. I

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Speaker 1: have friends that get bacterial infections and thrushes from using

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Speaker 1: products that have fragrances and chemicals and shit ingredients. I

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Speaker 1: care about what goes in and down there, you really do.

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Speaker 1: And if I'm going to use a product, it needs

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Speaker 1: to be natural. So being able to create a product

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Speaker 1: and be in full control of what's actually going in

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Speaker 1: that it's amazing, so important. It was really tough, and

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Speaker 1: we obviously went ahead with a product and it's now

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Speaker 1: live on the website shameless Plug. But it's an incredible product. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was just an example of things can get really,

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Speaker 1: really noisy, and it would be so easy to just

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, fuck it, it's too hard, like everyone's unhappy.

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Speaker 1: My people please wanted to come out and just get

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Speaker 1: rid of it. And even a couple of comments were like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is off brand, it's not what the Hideaway's about.

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Speaker 1: Hideaway isn't sexual. And I'm like, I did say to

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Speaker 1: one of my stuff and was almost maybe steve'said it.

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Speaker 1: So when my mom first started Hideaway, do you know

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Speaker 1: her most sold out products what they were? They were

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Speaker 1: soaps in the shapes of dicks and boobs. My poor

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00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:27,881
Speaker 1: mum could not keep up. They were the most sold

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Speaker 1: out products for Hens and like Bachelotte parties. That's and

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Speaker 1: we still laugh about it now because like I would

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Speaker 1: go and visit her on a Saturday and she's just

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Speaker 1: in the kitchen with these dick molds soaps and she's

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Speaker 1: packing them up for these beautiful like Hens.

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Speaker 2: It is so good.

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Speaker 1: So like we never copped any hate around it for then,

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Speaker 1: and we haven't copped any hate around the launch of

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Speaker 1: the Lube If anything, it was full of support. We've

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00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:48,561
Speaker 1: had physios reach out and say like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I've got women that have just had babies and they

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Speaker 1: need a natural product. It's really cool, Like it's a

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00:14:53,081 --> 00:14:56,201
Speaker 1: really cool product. But it was definitely a really hard

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Speaker 1: moment for me of this feels so noisy. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: when I bring myself back and I ground myself, this

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Speaker 1: feels right for me and my business and Steve, and

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Speaker 1: we're gonna go ahead with this. Yeah, And yeah, ruffled

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Speaker 1: a few feathers and a few staff members were not

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Speaker 1: happy about it, and I'm so glad they voiced it.

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad they felt safe enough. And like I said,

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Speaker 1: we value their opinion, but sometimes you just have to

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Speaker 1: do what's right for you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I could have easily gone into people pleasing and

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Speaker 1: just canceled the product. And we invested, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: over two hundred thousand dollars in this product. Imagine just

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Speaker 1: throwing that all.

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Speaker 2: Away, Like, and how quickly it is, even what you

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Speaker 2: mentioned about Steve saying oh did we make the rocks,

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Speaker 2: Like how easy it is when there's noise around you,

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Speaker 2: how quickly you can go to question then your own

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Speaker 2: judgment yep. And it's just like so easy can switch

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Speaker 2: and you.

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Speaker 1: Can do it in a workplace, in the relationship, in

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00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,921
Speaker 1: any situation. When it's so noisy, you do start to

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00:15:45,921 --> 00:15:48,801
Speaker 1: doubt yourself for that minute. And that's why it's so important.

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00:15:49,321 --> 00:15:52,121
Speaker 1: I love that like off center analogy, Like if you're

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00:15:52,121 --> 00:15:54,041
Speaker 1: in the middle and then you slide to the left

381
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:56,481
Speaker 1: or slide to the right, you're not fully clear. Bring

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00:15:56,521 --> 00:15:59,121
Speaker 1: yourself back to center by slowing down and getting back

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Speaker 1: connected to your body take a big breath. For me,

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Speaker 1: I was like, why did I want to bring this

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Speaker 1: product out? I can't get anything in Australia. I care

386
00:16:08,321 --> 00:16:10,761
Speaker 1: about what I use down there. I love sex, I

387
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:13,521
Speaker 1: love talking about it. I normalize it more and I'm

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Speaker 1: in full control of what's actually going into this product.

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Speaker 1: I know this is going to help a lot of people. Yeah, yes, Seguin,

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00:16:19,441 --> 00:16:20,561
Speaker 1: it's a big fuck yes for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And it kind of like drowned the noise out. So

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Speaker 1: if you're ever in a spot where you feel like

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Speaker 1: it's very noisy, just come back to you, come back

395
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,001
Speaker 1: to your body, come back to your heart, come back

396
00:16:30,001 --> 00:16:34,001
Speaker 1: to your breath. Take your time slow and you'll get

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Speaker 1: super clear.

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Speaker 2: Oh I love that.

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00:16:36,441 --> 00:16:36,961
Speaker 1: It's tricky.

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00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:40,441
Speaker 2: Yeah it is, but it's when you sit in the silence.

401
00:16:40,161 --> 00:16:42,521
Speaker 1: Exactly, it all come up. Yeah, let the thoughts and

402
00:16:42,561 --> 00:16:45,001
Speaker 1: the disappointment and all the things that came up when

403
00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:46,561
Speaker 1: I first sat with myself. I'm like, oh my god,

404
00:16:46,601 --> 00:16:48,961
Speaker 1: this feels so uncomfortable. And I don't want anyone upset

405
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:50,681
Speaker 1: with me, but I want my stuff being upset. I

406
00:16:50,681 --> 00:16:53,081
Speaker 1: don't want them feeling ashamed of our brand because we've

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Speaker 1: got a product that's sex related.

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00:16:55,121 --> 00:16:57,401
Speaker 2: Yeah, that doesn't feel aligned, or if there's scary, feel

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00:16:57,481 --> 00:16:59,321
Speaker 2: edgy to even look at or talk about it.

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Speaker 1: I don't want them feeling like that. Then. I'm also like,

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00:17:01,561 --> 00:17:06,041
Speaker 1: even this podcast, we do trigger people sometimes, Yeah, and good.

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Speaker 1: I want to ruffle your feathers. I want you to

413
00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:10,761
Speaker 1: think outside the box. I want you to see what

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00:17:10,801 --> 00:17:12,880
Speaker 1: blocks you have. I want you to see where there's shame.

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00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:16,041
Speaker 1: I want you to explore who's told you what along

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Speaker 1: the way that makes you have a story that that's wrong, bad, dirty,

417
00:17:19,001 --> 00:17:22,321
Speaker 1: or whatever. I want that. I hope they can go

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00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:26,441
Speaker 1: within and have that internal conversation with themselves, because anytime

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Speaker 1: I'm triggered by something, especially when it used to be

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Speaker 1: around sex. It took a lot of bravery to sit

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Speaker 1: with that and go, why do I think that's slutty

422
00:17:35,041 --> 00:17:37,680
Speaker 1: or dirty or bad? Why am I judging her for

423
00:17:37,721 --> 00:17:41,801
Speaker 1: doing that? Ah, that's my own shit. I wouldn't do

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00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,561
Speaker 1: that because I've been told that that's bad. And when

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00:17:44,561 --> 00:17:46,640
Speaker 1: you get to unpack that, you dissolve the shame and

426
00:17:46,721 --> 00:17:48,880
Speaker 1: you can just even if you don't decide to do

427
00:17:48,921 --> 00:17:50,360
Speaker 1: any of it, you can just accept people for what

428
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,721
Speaker 1: they're doing. Yes, we're going to do another episode on

429
00:17:52,921 --> 00:17:56,321
Speaker 1: what we think about OnlyFans sexual energy. Yes, how we are,

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00:17:56,321 --> 00:17:58,361
Speaker 1: where we are, different friends we have, and how they

431
00:17:58,481 --> 00:18:01,201
Speaker 1: like to live. Because it's such a cool, important conversation.

432
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,441
Speaker 2: Is way too much shame around it, and it's very

433
00:18:04,481 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 2: clear even in our DMS, a lot of women coming

434
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,441
Speaker 2: through being like, oh my god, thank you so much

435
00:18:08,441 --> 00:18:10,921
Speaker 2: for talking about this, because it's just there's so much

436
00:18:10,921 --> 00:18:14,521
Speaker 2: stigma around sex, especially, there's so much shame, and it

437
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,840
Speaker 2: just doesn't have to be A dirty doesn't have an

438
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:21,161
Speaker 2: uncomfortable conversation, Yeah, it really doesn't. Yeah, So another thing

439
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,960
Speaker 2: I can relate to the business thing, but mine kind

440
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:26,001
Speaker 2: of looks a little bit differently. So I've loved having

441
00:18:26,041 --> 00:18:29,561
Speaker 2: business coaches, and throughout my growth journey of like creating

442
00:18:29,561 --> 00:18:32,120
Speaker 2: my coaching business and all of that, it has been really,

443
00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:35,841
Speaker 2: really helpful, especially in the moments where somebody else has

444
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,761
Speaker 2: already taken all the steps. I'm just plugging into them

445
00:18:38,801 --> 00:18:40,041
Speaker 2: to help me learn those steps.

446
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:40,600
Speaker 1: So cool.

447
00:18:40,761 --> 00:18:43,880
Speaker 2: That has been absolutely a game changer for my life

448
00:18:43,961 --> 00:18:46,481
Speaker 2: and for the way that I've learned how to run

449
00:18:46,521 --> 00:18:50,200
Speaker 2: and build a business. However, the only thing with that

450
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,680
Speaker 2: is when you are also looking towards somebody else and

451
00:18:53,721 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 2: you think that they're above you, or you see that

452
00:18:55,880 --> 00:19:00,161
Speaker 2: them is more experienced, more educated, more xyz. Sometimes their

453
00:19:00,201 --> 00:19:02,360
Speaker 2: opinion can also be the thing that blocks you from

454
00:19:02,481 --> 00:19:05,201
Speaker 2: what you want deep down. So true, right, because as

455
00:19:05,241 --> 00:19:07,680
Speaker 2: you think, but this person knows more than me at

456
00:19:07,761 --> 00:19:10,241
Speaker 2: least that's why I thought stool Yeah, which is a

457
00:19:10,241 --> 00:19:14,281
Speaker 2: whole lot of conversation, right, But I remember thinking towards

458
00:19:14,281 --> 00:19:17,360
Speaker 2: my business coaches, they know more than me. Of course

459
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,840
Speaker 2: I would listen to them. They're telling me that because

460
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,801
Speaker 2: they've done business this way, this would be a good

461
00:19:21,801 --> 00:19:24,521
Speaker 2: way for me to do it. But then three years

462
00:19:24,521 --> 00:19:27,281
Speaker 2: down the line, I felt so disconnected from the way

463
00:19:27,321 --> 00:19:29,281
Speaker 2: that I was running my business because I was trying

464
00:19:29,281 --> 00:19:31,961
Speaker 2: to listen to somebody else as opposed to really listen

465
00:19:32,001 --> 00:19:35,241
Speaker 2: to what my intuitive pool said. And same thing when

466
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 2: I had partners, like we've spoken about this before, when

467
00:19:37,561 --> 00:19:41,441
Speaker 2: I've had relationships with men who are really successful in business,

468
00:19:41,521 --> 00:19:43,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, I'm going to listen to

469
00:19:43,481 --> 00:19:46,441
Speaker 2: you and do business your way because it's working for you.

470
00:19:46,441 --> 00:19:48,801
Speaker 2: You're really good at it, and you are very convicted

471
00:19:48,801 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 2: in what you're talking about. And those moments where I

472
00:19:51,321 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 2: shifted into their way of doing business, I found myself

473
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:58,441
Speaker 2: so emotionally drained and overwhelmed because I was so far

474
00:19:58,561 --> 00:20:02,721
Speaker 2: away from what Tiana wanted. That I was mirroring their

475
00:20:02,761 --> 00:20:06,440
Speaker 2: way of life, their dream, their way of doing things

476
00:20:07,041 --> 00:20:09,521
Speaker 2: that I just felt so disconnected from myself. It really

477
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 2: did take a lot of time for me to sit

478
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 2: with myself and go, what is this discomfort that I'm

479
00:20:15,761 --> 00:20:18,960
Speaker 2: feeling with in myself? Why is this creating such discord

480
00:20:19,041 --> 00:20:20,881
Speaker 2: in who I am and how I feel day to day?

481
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 2: Why am I so emotionally drained? And when I started

482
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,161
Speaker 2: to sit with that and stop running from that feeling,

483
00:20:26,521 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 2: I started listening and I was like, Okay, what is

484
00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:32,200
Speaker 2: it that you actually want and it's okay if it

485
00:20:32,201 --> 00:20:33,120
Speaker 2: doesn't make any sense.

486
00:20:33,281 --> 00:20:34,001
Speaker 1: Yeah.

487
00:20:34,041 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 2: And when I started to listen to that, I started

488
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 2: to follow my intuition and my heart and how I

489
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 2: genuinely wanted to live my life as opposed to what

490
00:20:42,321 --> 00:20:44,920
Speaker 2: somebody else thought that I should do. It wasn't to

491
00:20:44,961 --> 00:20:47,041
Speaker 2: say that their way was wrong or bad. It was

492
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 2: beautiful and it was amazing and helped me and was

493
00:20:50,001 --> 00:20:52,841
Speaker 2: really smart, right, but for me and who I am

494
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 2: and like, that doesn't feel aligned with me. So it

495
00:20:55,041 --> 00:20:58,001
Speaker 2: really took being willing to go thank you so much

496
00:20:58,001 --> 00:21:00,400
Speaker 2: for your opinion and your input, and I love and

497
00:21:00,481 --> 00:21:02,841
Speaker 2: respect that. And also I'm going to do what's best

498
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:03,521
Speaker 2: for me. Yeah.

499
00:21:03,561 --> 00:21:06,041
Speaker 1: And every business is so different man runs a business

500
00:21:06,041 --> 00:21:08,601
Speaker 1: to how a woman runs Yes, is so different too. Yeah,

501
00:21:08,721 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 1: but it's cool when you can learn from them. But

502
00:21:10,201 --> 00:21:12,360
Speaker 1: then it's so nice to go back to, like, actually,

503
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:14,201
Speaker 1: what do I want to do and what's my outcoming?

504
00:21:14,201 --> 00:21:16,041
Speaker 1: What's my lifestyle? Like do I want to be working

505
00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:16,680
Speaker 1: like they do?

506
00:21:16,921 --> 00:21:17,161
Speaker 2: Yeah?

507
00:21:17,201 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 1: Maybe not?

508
00:21:17,801 --> 00:21:19,561
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I just thought it was really cool to

509
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 2: just bring up because sometimes we do do that, like

510
00:21:21,721 --> 00:21:23,841
Speaker 2: when we think that someone's more educated or knows more

511
00:21:23,961 --> 00:21:26,120
Speaker 2: or has more experience in a certain area where like

512
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 2: immediately they know better than me. Yeah, but it's not

513
00:21:29,041 --> 00:21:31,481
Speaker 2: always the case, and yes they might know right for

514
00:21:31,561 --> 00:21:34,281
Speaker 2: them and what's worked for them, but really just connecting

515
00:21:34,321 --> 00:21:37,121
Speaker 2: back with yourself first and going, no, I know what

516
00:21:37,281 --> 00:21:39,921
Speaker 2: I want to do. Ultimately, Yes, it's important to connect with.

517
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 1: That ondred percent. Another example I've got is recently with

518
00:21:44,481 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 1: Rambos passing, I briefly spoke about how I was struggling

519
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,201
Speaker 1: with the grief and how I wanted to get some support. Yeah,

520
00:21:52,721 --> 00:21:56,600
Speaker 1: and there was some messages saying that like I shouldn't

521
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,360
Speaker 1: need that because it's not my son, and then I

522
00:21:59,441 --> 00:22:02,521
Speaker 1: like carry shame around how much I was struggling, And

523
00:22:02,561 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 1: I still sometimes have that intrusive thought of like, oh

524
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,641
Speaker 1: think you're struggling. How do you think Megan's feeling, and

525
00:22:07,681 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 1: like valid like what I'm feeling is nothing compared to

526
00:22:10,961 --> 00:22:14,321
Speaker 1: what she's feeling. But the outside noise and judgment around

527
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:18,281
Speaker 1: how I should be grieving has prevented me from getting support,

528
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,680
Speaker 1: And logically, when I pull myself out, I'm like, well,

529
00:22:21,721 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 1: if I get support, I'm being held and I'm allowing

530
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:28,201
Speaker 1: space to cry and to grieve, I can then hold

531
00:22:28,281 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 1: her better. I can then be stronger for her. But

532
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 1: right now, when I'm around her, like I crumble, like

533
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,160
Speaker 1: I struggle, I feel like I'm not the best at

534
00:22:38,681 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 1: She reminds me nearly every second day how much I

535
00:22:41,241 --> 00:22:43,600
Speaker 1: hold her, and she's so thankful for me, and you

536
00:22:43,681 --> 00:22:46,041
Speaker 1: know all the things. I've got a beautiful bond and

537
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 1: we do the best we can. But yeah, I feel

538
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:50,640
Speaker 1: like I would be able to hold her better if

539
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,120
Speaker 1: I got support. But yeah, it's the outside noise once again,

540
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:55,200
Speaker 1: which is the theme of this whole conversation, is how

541
00:22:55,281 --> 00:22:57,361
Speaker 1: much are we listening to that outside noise and what's

542
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,321
Speaker 1: our actual truth, what feels right for us. But I'm

543
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,681
Speaker 1: honoring myself. I would be getting support, but I haven't

544
00:23:02,681 --> 00:23:04,440
Speaker 1: done that because of the outside noise.

545
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:07,041
Speaker 2: And you know, the crazy thing about that as well,

546
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:10,360
Speaker 2: is like, who's to say that your grief isn't valid

547
00:23:10,481 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 2: just because it might not have happened directly to you. Yeah,

548
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,641
Speaker 2: you know, it's like immediately dismissing the fact that you're

549
00:23:16,681 --> 00:23:20,441
Speaker 2: so plugged into Magsie. You've been her fucking absolute rock

550
00:23:20,521 --> 00:23:23,121
Speaker 2: throughout this whole experience, and you were there every single day,

551
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 2: whether people saw it or not, you know, and you

552
00:23:25,481 --> 00:23:27,241
Speaker 2: did such a beautiful job and you still are.

553
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 1: You know.

554
00:23:28,201 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 2: It's like, who's to say that that's not worthy of

555
00:23:30,721 --> 00:23:33,801
Speaker 2: being supported just because it didn't happen to you directly, Yeah,

556
00:23:33,921 --> 00:23:36,281
Speaker 2: it has. You're so plugged into her, their family to

557
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 2: you like you did lose someone too, and it's just

558
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,441
Speaker 2: it's hard the outside noise.

559
00:23:41,441 --> 00:23:44,400
Speaker 1: And it's like you've watched her lose her son, and

560
00:23:44,441 --> 00:23:46,160
Speaker 1: I'm sure you might feel like this with Lucy in

561
00:23:46,241 --> 00:23:49,041
Speaker 1: her family, but you also watch them lose a part

562
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,641
Speaker 1: of themselves. Yeah, I think I'm gonna cry now, It's okay.

563
00:23:53,961 --> 00:23:56,321
Speaker 1: I think that's really hard because I'm like, I feel

564
00:23:56,321 --> 00:23:58,640
Speaker 1: like that part of Magsie is not going to come back,

565
00:23:58,681 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: you know. I feel like when she smiles now, like

566
00:24:04,321 --> 00:24:07,361
Speaker 1: it's a difference smiley, and like there's still joy there

567
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,001
Speaker 1: every day for her and she's honestly, she's the most

568
00:24:10,001 --> 00:24:13,721
Speaker 1: amazing person the way she's grieving through this. But yeah,

569
00:24:13,761 --> 00:24:16,801
Speaker 1: I think I think that's a big part of the

570
00:24:16,801 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 1: grief that people don't talk about. It's really weird, it's

571
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,640
Speaker 1: hard to explain. I think she feels that too, Like

572
00:24:23,681 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: she literally cleaned it, even like little things she cleaned

573
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,360
Speaker 1: out her whole wardrobe, and she's like, that wardrobe is

574
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 1: not me anymore, Like that part of me is dead.

575
00:24:30,961 --> 00:24:33,441
Speaker 1: And it's so true, and I think that's I miss

576
00:24:33,561 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 1: that makes you too. You just want her to be

577
00:24:35,281 --> 00:24:37,561
Speaker 1: happy and have that energy about herself when I know

578
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 1: there'll be I see, I see lights of it, I

579
00:24:39,961 --> 00:24:43,961
Speaker 1: see moments of it. But yeah, it's grieving Rambo. It's

580
00:24:44,001 --> 00:24:46,721
Speaker 1: grieving what she had. It's greeving who she was. It's

581
00:24:46,761 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 1: grieving what I know she was so looking forward to

582
00:24:49,961 --> 00:24:53,001
Speaker 1: all little moments with Rambo. It's grieving what she was

583
00:24:53,001 --> 00:24:57,680
Speaker 1: providing for Sonny with a sibling. It's grieving Thor's first child.

584
00:24:57,801 --> 00:25:00,681
Speaker 1: Is like so much of it, even like Tala with her,

585
00:25:00,721 --> 00:25:04,761
Speaker 1: Like Tala is obsessed with Rambo hold hold like she

586
00:25:04,801 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 1: doesn't wanted to be in a monkst like kissing him,

587
00:25:07,001 --> 00:25:10,921
Speaker 1: loving on him. There's just so much in that. But yeah,

588
00:25:10,961 --> 00:25:13,801
Speaker 1: the noise outside of people's judgments on how they think

589
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: you should grieve or how they think you should show up,

590
00:25:16,001 --> 00:25:20,160
Speaker 1: even like coming back online. Oh yeah, Mauta hate I

591
00:25:20,241 --> 00:25:22,880
Speaker 1: copture that. How dare you be happy? How dare you

592
00:25:23,001 --> 00:25:25,401
Speaker 1: post a dancing video? How I can't believe you in

593
00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:26,001
Speaker 1: promoting the.

594
00:25:25,921 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 2: Podcast posting on sheer Rises.

595
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it was bad. It was so bad, and

596
00:25:30,521 --> 00:25:33,561
Speaker 1: it's like, oh my gosh, okay, so what's their rule

597
00:25:33,561 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 1: book around how I should be? And just because you

598
00:25:35,961 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 1: see a little dance video, you don't see how I

599
00:25:38,441 --> 00:25:40,360
Speaker 1: am at night. You don't see how I am during

600
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:42,801
Speaker 1: the day. You don't see the moments where I'm like

601
00:25:42,961 --> 00:25:45,441
Speaker 1: drowning in it. You're seeing a fucking little happy ten.

602
00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 2: Second video or even what's funny is like it's not

603
00:25:48,001 --> 00:25:50,120
Speaker 2: funny at all, actually, but like the dancing videos, and

604
00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:51,640
Speaker 2: then it's like two minutes later, they're not seeing, oh

605
00:25:51,681 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 2: you break down or like put on a smile for

606
00:25:54,281 --> 00:25:56,041
Speaker 2: the video and then be like we're hugging after it.

607
00:25:56,241 --> 00:25:57,761
Speaker 2: That's what it was racking down.

608
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,080
Speaker 1: And it was you at our masquerade events. One saw

609
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: you having a great time, and I saw some comments

610
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,761
Speaker 1: around that. I'm like, you weren't with her the whole

611
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,761
Speaker 1: day to see her crying. You saw her put on

612
00:26:06,921 --> 00:26:09,360
Speaker 1: a brave face and get through the event and do

613
00:26:09,441 --> 00:26:11,201
Speaker 1: the best you could be. You went with her all day,

614
00:26:11,241 --> 00:26:13,561
Speaker 1: Like shut the fuck up, Okay, so angry about that.

615
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,521
Speaker 1: I was like Alice Hart and Horse like they don't

616
00:26:16,521 --> 00:26:18,481
Speaker 1: see all of that. And that's the thing with grief.

617
00:26:18,521 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: It's like no one has an opinion. You're not in it,

618
00:26:21,041 --> 00:26:22,641
Speaker 1: you don't know how you're gonna be. You can think

619
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,041
Speaker 1: that you wouldn't do. X y Z even makes it

620
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:27,201
Speaker 1: for her, like she's always had a resistance to show

621
00:26:27,281 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 1: up online and now it's like this beautiful outlet for her,

622
00:26:31,201 --> 00:26:35,680
Speaker 1: for her to share her story and like, okay, sorry,

623
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:44,640
Speaker 1: so tough, isn't it. Take a moment reminded me of

624
00:26:44,681 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 1: that day. Of course, it was fucking hard.

625
00:26:47,281 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 2: Like how hard it was to put on a brave

626
00:26:49,001 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 2: face that day so hard.

627
00:26:52,281 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 1: It's like the morning of like finding out that she

628
00:26:54,561 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 1: had passed that morning was so hard, you know, and

629
00:26:58,120 --> 00:26:59,761
Speaker 1: then just having the funeral two days ago.

630
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,881
Speaker 2: It's just very much in my field right now, you.

631
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,681
Speaker 1: Know, of course, and I always will be.

632
00:27:06,281 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 2: I just like can relate to what you were saying

633
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:12,041
Speaker 2: around like being plugged into someone and you're grieving your

634
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 2: own you're holding your own grief, and then you're watching

635
00:27:15,281 --> 00:27:18,641
Speaker 2: the people who loved the person who you're grieving as well,

636
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,400
Speaker 2: you know, you being plugged into Megsi me watching Lucy's

637
00:27:21,441 --> 00:27:23,880
Speaker 2: like older sister who they will like glued at the hip,

638
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 2: you know, like literally like wailing at her funeral two

639
00:27:27,961 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 2: days ago. And then like what you said, like the

640
00:27:30,721 --> 00:27:32,961
Speaker 2: part of Megsi that you feel that might not ever

641
00:27:33,001 --> 00:27:35,400
Speaker 2: come back because a part of hers passed with Rambo.

642
00:27:35,521 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 2: And you know, all of the dreams and things that

643
00:27:38,241 --> 00:27:40,481
Speaker 2: like don't get to like come to life now because

644
00:27:40,561 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 2: of you know, grief and healing.

645
00:27:42,961 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: Grief is not linear. It is not you feel this

646
00:27:45,561 --> 00:27:48,041
Speaker 1: on one day and then in six months time you're

647
00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 1: all good. Every day is so different and little things

648
00:27:50,921 --> 00:27:53,160
Speaker 1: can trigger it to like I can hear a certain song,

649
00:27:53,561 --> 00:27:55,521
Speaker 1: I can see a rainbow, I can have a memory

650
00:27:55,521 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 1: probable on Facebook taler like I had a video message

651
00:27:59,041 --> 00:28:01,920
Speaker 1: from Megsi the other day and she was upset and

652
00:28:01,961 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 1: Tyler's next to me. First thing she said when she

653
00:28:03,721 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: saw Ani Meggie Animegi love Rambo. Oh and she doesn't

654
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,281
Speaker 1: know what Meggsi is talking about. Yeah, just saw her

655
00:28:10,441 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 1: have tears in her eyes and she fucking knows this

656
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:17,321
Speaker 1: does not go away. And like yes, even Megsie and

657
00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:20,360
Speaker 1: thought fine moments of joy and gratitude and love and

658
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:26,201
Speaker 1: they experience even pleasure again. But it's always there, always there.

659
00:28:26,481 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 2: Just something that changes you, doesn't it. You always hear

660
00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:31,681
Speaker 2: people who go through grief and they just like come

661
00:28:31,721 --> 00:28:33,521
Speaker 2: out a different person on the other side.

662
00:28:33,521 --> 00:28:34,801
Speaker 1: Said to mom, and the other day, I'm like this

663
00:28:34,961 --> 00:28:37,761
Speaker 1: ever go away? Yeah? Ever? Just I don't know, like

664
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,281
Speaker 1: go a day where you don't think about it, that's

665
00:28:40,321 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 1: not hovering over you or horring over them, or just

666
00:28:44,001 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 1: like in the back of your mind like a little niggle.

667
00:28:45,761 --> 00:28:47,801
Speaker 1: I hate the good haunting, but it feels like it

668
00:28:47,921 --> 00:28:50,601
Speaker 1: just like haunts you. It's just there, you know. It's

669
00:28:50,721 --> 00:28:53,441
Speaker 1: really hard. I've never experienced something like this, touch Wood.

670
00:28:53,441 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 1: I've been very lucky not to lose a lot of people,

671
00:28:55,801 --> 00:29:00,761
Speaker 1: but losing a child like man and watching someone you

672
00:29:00,801 --> 00:29:03,561
Speaker 1: love so much lose someone they love so much, it's

673
00:29:03,601 --> 00:29:04,961
Speaker 1: just unbearable.

674
00:29:05,401 --> 00:29:05,801
Speaker 2: Isn't it.

675
00:29:06,041 --> 00:29:09,361
Speaker 1: But back on the conversation of Noise, you really have

676
00:29:09,441 --> 00:29:11,281
Speaker 1: to just go back in and do what's right for you,

677
00:29:11,321 --> 00:29:14,601
Speaker 1: because no one has any right to tell you how

678
00:29:14,681 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 1: you should be feeling, healing, grieving, what to do in

679
00:29:18,281 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 1: your life. Like only you know what's best for you,

680
00:29:20,241 --> 00:29:21,921
Speaker 1: and you've got to honor that. But it's really hard

681
00:29:21,961 --> 00:29:24,921
Speaker 1: when there's so much outside noise, And sometimes I think

682
00:29:25,001 --> 00:29:27,921
Speaker 1: that's why a lot of people online only show their

683
00:29:27,961 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 1: highlight reel. There's so much judgment to be like, oh,

684
00:29:30,361 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 1: be raw, be authentic, like show more. But it's like

685
00:29:33,001 --> 00:29:35,361
Speaker 1: when you do, you get slammed. Yeah, or people have

686
00:29:35,481 --> 00:29:38,401
Speaker 1: criticized and judge the way that you're doing yet And

687
00:29:38,481 --> 00:29:40,601
Speaker 1: sometimes I don't like to share something until I'm through

688
00:29:40,601 --> 00:29:43,281
Speaker 1: the other side and I can teach the lessons. But

689
00:29:43,361 --> 00:29:45,641
Speaker 1: something like this, it's like, I don't know why this

690
00:29:45,681 --> 00:29:48,601
Speaker 1: has happened. I don't know how we're going to get

691
00:29:48,601 --> 00:29:50,921
Speaker 1: out of this. I don't know what's next. I don't

692
00:29:50,961 --> 00:29:53,441
Speaker 1: know how I'm going to feel tomorrow. How makes it's

693
00:29:53,441 --> 00:29:55,721
Speaker 1: going to feel like, I don't know. This is raw

694
00:29:55,761 --> 00:29:56,161
Speaker 1: as it get.

695
00:29:56,361 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is like day by day, isn't it.

696
00:29:58,441 --> 00:30:01,521
Speaker 1: It really is? Yeah, the outside noise.

697
00:30:01,561 --> 00:30:03,881
Speaker 2: With the outside noise as well. It's just a really

698
00:30:03,961 --> 00:30:07,081
Speaker 2: important thing. If you are someone who relies on other

699
00:30:07,081 --> 00:30:10,561
Speaker 2: people's opinions quite heavily, justin know that the way that

700
00:30:10,601 --> 00:30:13,681
Speaker 2: you filter out of doing that is every single time

701
00:30:13,721 --> 00:30:16,881
Speaker 2: that you want to ask somebody for their opinion, just

702
00:30:16,961 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 2: stop yourself for a second. Instead of messaging that person,

703
00:30:20,201 --> 00:30:23,641
Speaker 2: go into your phone notes and type down what you

704
00:30:23,721 --> 00:30:26,561
Speaker 2: think that you should do, and just explore what your

705
00:30:26,601 --> 00:30:30,081
Speaker 2: opinion is first before you add somebody else's opinion. And

706
00:30:30,121 --> 00:30:33,001
Speaker 2: also other people's opinion can also be a really good thing. Okay,

707
00:30:33,041 --> 00:30:35,641
Speaker 2: So we're not saying like, don't ask for support, don't

708
00:30:35,641 --> 00:30:38,041
Speaker 2: ask for the people. We literally like, oh my god,

709
00:30:38,481 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 2: we absolutely do it daily, right, and it's important and

710
00:30:42,001 --> 00:30:44,561
Speaker 2: you value those people so much, but also it's important

711
00:30:44,601 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 2: to strengthen your own as well. And that's like the

712
00:30:47,041 --> 00:30:50,161
Speaker 2: core of this conversation is just knowing that no one

713
00:30:50,321 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 2: outside of you except your best friend, like ashually for me,

714
00:30:53,641 --> 00:30:57,921
Speaker 2: is gonna know better for you. You know you best, yes,

715
00:30:57,961 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 2: and you can also do really hard things and find

716
00:31:01,201 --> 00:31:04,041
Speaker 2: uncomfortable answers within yourself, but you just have to give

717
00:31:04,041 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 2: yourself enough space to be able to discover it because

718
00:31:06,441 --> 00:31:07,321
Speaker 2: it will always come.

719
00:31:07,441 --> 00:31:09,121
Speaker 1: I love that you said that. Something else I just

720
00:31:09,121 --> 00:31:10,881
Speaker 1: thought of them too. It's like, yeah, we know each

721
00:31:10,921 --> 00:31:13,121
Speaker 1: other's internal worlds, and sometimes I think we do know

722
00:31:13,161 --> 00:31:13,961
Speaker 1: what's worth for each other.

723
00:31:14,121 --> 00:31:14,361
Speaker 2: We do.

724
00:31:15,081 --> 00:31:18,841
Speaker 1: Aka your past relationship, however, I think you knew for

725
00:31:18,881 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 1: a very long time that that was not going to

726
00:31:21,001 --> 00:31:25,281
Speaker 1: be your person. But all divine timing. You had to

727
00:31:25,321 --> 00:31:27,961
Speaker 1: go through that whole process. You had to have those

728
00:31:28,001 --> 00:31:31,121
Speaker 1: conversations with yourself, with him, with your dad, with me.

729
00:31:31,481 --> 00:31:33,041
Speaker 1: You had to do all of that to get to

730
00:31:33,041 --> 00:31:36,361
Speaker 1: that point of fully knowing. And that's why I encouraged you.

731
00:31:36,401 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: Even though I think I knew that this wasn't going

732
00:31:38,241 --> 00:31:40,841
Speaker 1: to be your person, I fully encouraged to do it

733
00:31:40,881 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 1: because you had to go through that experience. It's all

734
00:31:43,441 --> 00:31:45,481
Speaker 1: in divine timing. It's like we've all had those friends

735
00:31:45,481 --> 00:31:47,761
Speaker 1: that have gone back to toxic x's or people that

736
00:31:47,801 --> 00:31:50,041
Speaker 1: you know, like, oh, you know, you're not happy. It's

737
00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:52,801
Speaker 1: like in her own time, when she's ready, something will happen.

738
00:31:53,161 --> 00:31:55,081
Speaker 1: She'll get out of that when she's ready. It's like

739
00:31:55,121 --> 00:31:58,281
Speaker 1: trusting them to trust themselves and allow them to go

740
00:31:58,321 --> 00:32:01,161
Speaker 1: on their journey. It's not yours to control. When they ask,

741
00:32:01,401 --> 00:32:04,041
Speaker 1: you can give your opinion in a soft, beautiful, safe way,

742
00:32:04,281 --> 00:32:06,321
Speaker 1: but like, let them have their journey, let them do

743
00:32:06,401 --> 00:32:06,801
Speaker 1: their thing.

744
00:32:06,881 --> 00:32:09,001
Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, you're right, Yeah, there was a part.

745
00:32:09,041 --> 00:32:11,561
Speaker 2: That's why I had so much internal conflict because there

746
00:32:11,561 --> 00:32:15,641
Speaker 2: were things in the relationship that weren't what I needed

747
00:32:15,681 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 2: to feel safe and feel loved in the way that

748
00:32:18,161 --> 00:32:20,241
Speaker 2: I feel that way, you know, in the way that

749
00:32:20,281 --> 00:32:22,041
Speaker 2: I feel safe and feel loved, and I think there

750
00:32:22,041 --> 00:32:24,081
Speaker 2: were things that were missing that were always kind of

751
00:32:24,121 --> 00:32:26,681
Speaker 2: present for me. That's why I had that internal conflict

752
00:32:26,681 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 2: of maybe I should go, maybe I should stay, and

753
00:32:30,081 --> 00:32:32,041
Speaker 2: never really knowing which way to go. But it was

754
00:32:32,361 --> 00:32:35,121
Speaker 2: being able to explore all of my options, listen to myself,

755
00:32:35,161 --> 00:32:36,841
Speaker 2: and even though I made that decision to go and

756
00:32:36,881 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 2: have that conversation, the reason why I believe I felt

757
00:32:39,521 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 2: so okay after it didn't go that way, I was

758
00:32:43,281 --> 00:32:46,121
Speaker 2: like cool, Like, yeah, that was exactly how it was

759
00:32:46,161 --> 00:32:48,081
Speaker 2: meant to go, because a part of me was like,

760
00:32:48,201 --> 00:32:51,081
Speaker 2: this is the right path, this was meant to happen.

761
00:32:51,161 --> 00:32:52,921
Speaker 1: It was beautifully done. I wouldn't change it.

762
00:32:53,001 --> 00:32:54,881
Speaker 2: No, it's the best. So grateful and have so much

763
00:32:54,881 --> 00:32:56,241
Speaker 2: love and respect for him still.

764
00:32:56,081 --> 00:32:58,081
Speaker 1: And also just so proud of like how you showed

765
00:32:58,161 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 1: up and how you handled that communicated that Yeah, and

766
00:33:00,241 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 1: you could have shied away from honoring even having that

767
00:33:02,561 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 1: conversation of like putting your heart on the line to

768
00:33:04,721 --> 00:33:07,321
Speaker 1: have this conversation again, Like it was so cool to

769
00:33:07,441 --> 00:33:09,041
Speaker 1: witness you go through that because I think so many

770
00:33:09,081 --> 00:33:12,361
Speaker 1: people would avoid Yeah, being so vulnerable, you know. Yeah,

771
00:33:12,481 --> 00:33:14,641
Speaker 1: there's one more example too. I was just thinking of before,

772
00:33:14,721 --> 00:33:17,121
Speaker 1: Oh tell us. When I was first studying to become

773
00:33:17,161 --> 00:33:19,801
Speaker 1: a personal trainer, I never listened to myself, but I

774
00:33:19,801 --> 00:33:21,801
Speaker 1: remember someone saying to me, oh my gosh, don't be

775
00:33:21,841 --> 00:33:24,361
Speaker 1: a PTE. It is oversaturated. You'll never be able to

776
00:33:24,361 --> 00:33:26,601
Speaker 1: get clients, like there's just too many people. And I

777
00:33:26,641 --> 00:33:28,961
Speaker 1: was like, oh, oh my god, they're right, and I

778
00:33:29,001 --> 00:33:30,481
Speaker 1: literally went home to see if. I was like, Babe,

779
00:33:30,521 --> 00:33:32,521
Speaker 1: I like, I don't think I can continue this course

780
00:33:32,561 --> 00:33:36,201
Speaker 1: because it's so saturated, like I fully believed there were

781
00:33:36,361 --> 00:33:38,681
Speaker 1: like it was freaking Bible. I was like, certain, I

782
00:33:38,721 --> 00:33:40,841
Speaker 1: can't do this. They won't won't be enough clients, will

783
00:33:40,881 --> 00:33:42,161
Speaker 1: never be able to pay my bills. And he looks

784
00:33:42,161 --> 00:33:44,521
Speaker 1: at me. He's like, who the fuck told you that, babe?

785
00:33:44,561 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: Like ten thousand pets in a year, ten thousand PD's out. Yes,

786
00:33:48,361 --> 00:33:51,481
Speaker 1: He's like, there is always room for more preteens. When

787
00:33:51,521 --> 00:33:54,081
Speaker 1: you offer, someone else can't offer how they connect with you,

788
00:33:54,161 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 1: they won't connect with someone else, like beautiful. What I

789
00:33:56,281 --> 00:33:58,721
Speaker 1: offer compared to what you offer is totally different. You're

790
00:33:58,801 --> 00:34:01,721
Speaker 1: this like emotional safe person who can talk about body

791
00:34:01,721 --> 00:34:04,121
Speaker 1: love is like I just run the sessions like I'm

792
00:34:04,121 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: a great trainer. Don't talk about that stuff.

793
00:34:06,201 --> 00:34:06,401
Speaker 2: You go.

794
00:34:06,521 --> 00:34:09,081
Speaker 1: Everyone's so different and you will attract clients that are

795
00:34:09,161 --> 00:34:11,601
Speaker 1: right for you. Imagine if I listened to that person,

796
00:34:11,961 --> 00:34:14,121
Speaker 1: I then went on to be completely booked out and

797
00:34:14,361 --> 00:34:17,881
Speaker 1: have seventy five locations across Australia, completely booked out of

798
00:34:17,881 --> 00:34:21,281
Speaker 1: boot cams and a world tour, had successful apps with

799
00:34:21,641 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of women that download it.

800
00:34:23,521 --> 00:34:24,201
Speaker 2: That's bad US.

801
00:34:24,281 --> 00:34:25,641
Speaker 1: That was a bad US pet move.

802
00:34:25,721 --> 00:34:28,041
Speaker 2: Yeah you damn. I'm glad I became a pet like

803
00:34:28,081 --> 00:34:29,201
Speaker 2: you didn't listen to that guy.

804
00:34:29,161 --> 00:34:31,561
Speaker 1: Exactly, But how easy it can be to listen to

805
00:34:31,601 --> 00:34:33,801
Speaker 1: the outside noise and take their shit on. It's their

806
00:34:33,841 --> 00:34:36,601
Speaker 1: own projection, it's their own limiting beliefs, so just be

807
00:34:36,641 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 1: super aware. It's always like wrap yourself in bubble wrap.

808
00:34:39,321 --> 00:34:40,961
Speaker 1: You can hear it, but let it bounce away. If

809
00:34:40,961 --> 00:34:43,881
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good, yeah, you know it's good. Anyways,

810
00:34:43,881 --> 00:34:47,281
Speaker 1: we hope this episode lands for you and just check

811
00:34:47,321 --> 00:34:49,841
Speaker 1: in where you're listening to the outside noise and if

812
00:34:49,841 --> 00:34:52,361
Speaker 1: it's feeling overwhelming, go back to your body, your breath

813
00:34:52,401 --> 00:34:54,681
Speaker 1: and your heart, and then you'll get clarity and what's

814
00:34:54,721 --> 00:34:55,481
Speaker 1: right for you.

815
00:34:55,601 --> 00:34:57,521
Speaker 2: Just one last thing I was squeezing there and something

816
00:34:57,561 --> 00:34:59,401
Speaker 2: that I actually said to my girlfriend two days ago,

817
00:34:59,521 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 2: who was in two minds about something I just said

818
00:35:02,521 --> 00:35:04,481
Speaker 2: to her. Whenever you feel like you're trying to make

819
00:35:04,521 --> 00:35:07,921
Speaker 2: it tough to see, just explore both avenues. Yes, be

820
00:35:08,161 --> 00:35:10,601
Speaker 2: willing to not have a biased opinion on what you're

821
00:35:10,601 --> 00:35:12,961
Speaker 2: going through or what you're trying to make a decision on,

822
00:35:13,201 --> 00:35:15,361
Speaker 2: and go, Okay, what would it look like if I

823
00:35:15,401 --> 00:35:17,881
Speaker 2: went all the way this way? And then what would

824
00:35:17,881 --> 00:35:19,361
Speaker 2: it look like if I went all the way the

825
00:35:19,441 --> 00:35:22,761
Speaker 2: opposite way? Because then you can logically make a decision,

826
00:35:22,841 --> 00:35:26,161
Speaker 2: but also intuitively pay attention to your feelings because then

827
00:35:26,161 --> 00:35:28,561
Speaker 2: you're going, I'm laying everything out on the table. I'm

828
00:35:28,601 --> 00:35:31,641
Speaker 2: actually really clear about what both directions would look like,

829
00:35:32,081 --> 00:35:34,961
Speaker 2: and then using your intuition, like your connection with yourself,

830
00:35:34,961 --> 00:35:37,321
Speaker 2: to go, okay, which one feels aligned for me, and

831
00:35:37,361 --> 00:35:39,161
Speaker 2: then making a decision based on that, and you.

832
00:35:39,121 --> 00:35:41,441
Speaker 1: Get to choose. Yeah, that's your power. You get to

833
00:35:41,521 --> 00:35:43,041
Speaker 1: choose your life.

834
00:35:42,921 --> 00:35:46,321
Speaker 2: And then you can make an informed decision. Yeah it's beautiful,

835
00:35:46,921 --> 00:35:48,041
Speaker 2: all right, guys.

836
00:35:47,721 --> 00:35:50,121
Speaker 1: Episode don't forget if you haven't got tickets to our

837
00:35:50,121 --> 00:35:53,441
Speaker 1: October event links below, We're coming to Brisbane three hours

838
00:35:53,481 --> 00:35:57,441
Speaker 1: of fun, connection, learn and growing. Meet and greets, goodie bags,

839
00:35:57,441 --> 00:36:00,961
Speaker 1: live entertainment, guests, speakers all the rest October seventeenth, and

840
00:36:01,041 --> 00:36:03,561
Speaker 1: get a ticket and we'll see in the next episode.

841
00:36:03,681 --> 00:36:03,921
Speaker 2: Bag