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Speaker 1: It's a very very important day today Are You Okay?

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Speaker 2: Day?

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Speaker 1: It raises awareness for everyone and you ask, you know,

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Speaker 1: close people around you, are you okay? But I think

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Speaker 1: this is something that we should be doing more every day.

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Speaker 1: We thought we'd get a man on who is a

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Speaker 1: community ambassador for are you Okay and had a pretty

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Speaker 1: tough life himself. His name's Kevin Heath and he joins

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Speaker 1: us now, keV, thank you and welcome to the show, buddy.

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Speaker 2: No, thank you guys for having me today. I really

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Speaker 2: appreciate being he keV.

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Speaker 3: Important message today. It goes beyond asking that first question.

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Speaker 3: It goes beyond just saying, hey, are you okay?

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Speaker 4: Isn't that right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And I think that's the most important thing that Auka

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Speaker 2: are presenting this year is there's more to say after

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Speaker 2: asking Auoka and that's about keeping that conversation going, because

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Speaker 2: I think the biggest thing that we're seeing in community,

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Speaker 2: and I speak from experience living in a Niece and suburbs,

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Speaker 2: is people ask are you okay? But it's listening and

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Speaker 2: keeping that conversation going.

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Speaker 1: You suffered clinical depression early in your life. You know

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Speaker 1: tough background. Your mum was an alcohol and there's an

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Speaker 1: amazing story that we're reading here today.

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Speaker 4: You and your brother.

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Speaker 1: Your brother was nine years of age, you were six,

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Speaker 1: and you both of you boys hitchhiked from Queensland all

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Speaker 1: the way down to Sydney.

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Speaker 4: Is that all right? To get away from the life

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Speaker 4: that you had.

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Speaker 2: I've got four brothers and the two oldest brothers back then.

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Speaker 2: You know, parents obviously had their only My parents split

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Speaker 2: had issues. Mum been an alcoholic. Mum wanted to keep

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Speaker 2: the younger two and then Dave got the older two.

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Speaker 2: But Dad, not being aboriginal, what he wanted all of us,

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Speaker 2: but the courts had looked, you know, we've got to

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Speaker 2: keep two with their culture. So that's how I sort

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Speaker 2: of looking at the time, right how my brother who

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Speaker 2: ran away was actually passed away in April, so I'm sorry,

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Speaker 2: s all right, mate, thank you? So may he rest

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Speaker 2: in peace. But my oldest oldest too. They're going through

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Speaker 2: their own sort of issues, but it's trauma and that's

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Speaker 2: what we sort of experienced as young people.

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Speaker 1: And you got down to dad as well, and Dad

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Speaker 1: had a new partner in his life who had daughters

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Speaker 1: as well. But that's where relentless bullying started. In your

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Speaker 1: life as well, and you went through some horrible times.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And I learned at a young age and I

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Speaker 2: still learned now that kids have no filters. So you know,

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Speaker 2: that's not your mum, that's not your dad, it's my

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Speaker 2: biological dad, my step mum. Yes, that caused a lot

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Speaker 2: of you know, issues and troma for myself in regards

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Speaker 2: to being angry. So as a young person, I sort

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Speaker 2: of resorted to, you know, pushing and getting in trouble

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Speaker 2: that way. I never spoke to my parents about it.

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Speaker 2: Mum had a good joke that she's telling me, I know,

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Speaker 2: you know, just telling them you're left on the oven

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Speaker 2: a little longer. That's why you darker than the.

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Speaker 4: Rest of us.

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Speaker 3: So what age did you get help? Like, when did

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Speaker 3: you think I need to talk to someone about all that.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't until about sixteen where I started to get

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Speaker 2: really aggressive in regards to how I was taking things angry.

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Speaker 2: Always snap in or snap at those closest to me.

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Speaker 2: And then I sent it to a psychologist. And at

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Speaker 2: that time, and she's telling me, when you're angry, count

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Speaker 2: to ten. Yeah, sixteen years of age? You thinking?

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Speaker 4: Was his lady telling me exactly it doesn't make any sense.

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Speaker 4: So I was there.

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Speaker 2: I was there for two visits and that was it

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Speaker 2: for me at age of sixteen. It wasn't until going

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Speaker 2: through my teenage years my mind biological mum had another

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Speaker 2: kid to someone younger, half sister, and I was in Queensland,

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Speaker 2: reached out. They spoke to me. I spoke to them.

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Speaker 2: I said, to my mum, she's only ever known to

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Speaker 2: be angry at this time game all I've ever seen, yes,

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Speaker 2: and obviously her trauma, her kids running away, or her issues,

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Speaker 2: I said, all of everyone. All I ever wanted you

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Speaker 2: to do was acknowledge what you've done and let's move forward.

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Speaker 2: And she said okay. And then a couple days later

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Speaker 2: she literally apologized.

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Speaker 4: Wow, that must have been emotional.

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Speaker 2: Man.

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Speaker 3: Can I ask, because you know, the suicide conversation is

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Speaker 3: so prominent today and the numbers are so alarming, especially

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Speaker 3: this year in COVID, and from the depression that you've experienced,

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Speaker 3: you'd be able to relate to the idea that the

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Speaker 3: problem is when when the depression becomes so severe and

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Speaker 3: you have those highs and lows, the swings that you have,

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Speaker 3: you cross over a point where you no longer think,

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Speaker 3: what will this do to the rest of the family

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Speaker 3: if I wasn't here. Your thoughts are it's better if

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Speaker 3: I'm not here for everyone. And when you were in

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Speaker 3: bed for two weeks and you couldn't get out of bed,

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Speaker 3: that's where you would have been.

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Speaker 4: How did you get out? How did you get up?

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Speaker 2: I at the time didn't realize that Mum had apologized.

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Speaker 2: I felt like everything was going good. It wasn't until

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Speaker 2: a bit later I was told to give Mom a

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Speaker 2: call and I said, well, I've been told to call you.

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Speaker 2: And it was in that phone call where she said,

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Speaker 2: I've been told I'm terminally ill.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 2: She told me I was this person rocked up for

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Speaker 2: its flowers, like they never speak to me because I'm sick,

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Speaker 2: like that kind of stuff. So she was sort of

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Speaker 2: talking as if it was never going to happen, and

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Speaker 2: Mum's health, unfortunately, I rapidly declined after three months. I've

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Speaker 2: been told she was sick when she passed away. That's

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Speaker 2: after dealing with her passing and all that kind of

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Speaker 2: stuff that had happened with the family. I got home

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Speaker 2: and that's when I was in bed. So when you

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Speaker 2: look at clinically depressed and I'm not eating, lady bed,

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Speaker 2: not do anything. Lack of motivation. That's what I went through.

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Speaker 2: And that is like you're reading in a book and

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Speaker 2: you think, wow, like does that really happen. When I

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Speaker 2: look back now, I'm like wow. It wasn't until I

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Speaker 2: had people around me saying like, you need to go

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Speaker 2: and speak to somebody. Went to my doctor, my local

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Speaker 2: family doctor, and I went to you exactly what he

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Speaker 2: said because they're very close family friends. But it was

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Speaker 2: there where he said you need to speak to someone.

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Speaker 2: I thought, well, the last time I spoke to a

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Speaker 2: psychologist didn't work. I talk about this when I go

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Speaker 2: to schools because I'm covered in tatoo's head to toe,

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Speaker 2: my whole body's covered, dark skin, got a beard, so

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Speaker 2: you know you look like I look at this hipstick

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Speaker 2: tope of guy. But the thing is when I went in,

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Speaker 2: I sat in that chair. The lady sat across me

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Speaker 2: and she said to me, shad all the notes of

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Speaker 2: what's happened with me, and goes, you know what brings

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Speaker 2: you today? Kevin and I just sat there and cried

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Speaker 2: hold out.

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Speaker 4: But was that an amazing Was that a huge weight

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Speaker 4: off your shoulders?

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Speaker 2: It was the best feeling in the world, to be

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Speaker 2: honest with you, I at the time didn't realize how

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Speaker 2: much it had changed and had helped me. I felt

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Speaker 2: like so much weight was lift off my shoulders. I

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Speaker 2: didn't feel like a burden. I didn't feel like I

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Speaker 2: was not being able to cope. I could speak to

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Speaker 2: someone who was listening non judgmentally. It was at the

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Speaker 2: end of that session she said, come back next week.

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Speaker 2: I thought to myself, I just cried, do you what

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Speaker 2: do you mean? Come back this week? Went back next week,

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Speaker 2: and then it started to go from you know, the

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Speaker 2: loss of my mum to the thoughts that I had,

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Speaker 2: the suicidal thoughts about not being here, not wanting to

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Speaker 2: be here, not feeling valid, not feeling like my issue

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Speaker 2: was big enough. And you can't control them thoughts. And

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Speaker 2: it's about trying to help yourself move from that part.

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Speaker 2: And that's what I do now when I talk to

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Speaker 2: you know, young people and old people.

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Speaker 3: That's an amazing story.

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Speaker 1: See, that's the first hurdle to get over, because I've

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Speaker 1: always thought I'm never gonna ask my mates for help

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Speaker 1: because they'll think I'm weak. Once you get over that hurdle,

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Speaker 1: keV it's huge.

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Speaker 2: It is, and it's a massive it's a massive credit

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Speaker 2: for people to actually take that step, you know. It's

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Speaker 2: all that stigma, that shame, the barrier around it. I

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Speaker 2: think one thing that stands out for me. I was

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Speaker 2: very fortunate last year to do three and a half

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Speaker 2: weeks on the road with RUOK when any clockwise around Australia.

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Speaker 2: We stopped at a roadhouse and Radio three were ready

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Speaker 2: to go, ready to go, and then I got a

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Speaker 2: call keV can you come to car too. I went

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Speaker 2: to car too when there was an older bloke there.

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Speaker 2: I went from Sydney to Perth with his wife in

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Speaker 2: a caravan, so the Great Nomads, And it was there

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Speaker 2: where I walked up.

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Speaker 4: He was in tears.

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Speaker 2: The two blokes in the car from a UK we're

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Speaker 2: basically almost in tears too. This guy had a split

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Speaker 2: second to go over to the car to talk to

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Speaker 2: them and talk about the struggles that he was having

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Speaker 2: with his family in regards to his daughter. He couldn't

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Speaker 2: speak to his wife because he's a support system for

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Speaker 2: his wife. Yeah yeah, And he was there and it

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Speaker 2: was just like just that bragulate got over there and

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Speaker 2: he started talking and to me I had to help

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Speaker 2: sort of with the get the conversation continually because that

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Speaker 2: is just a show of the timeline how we've gone

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Speaker 2: from don't show emotions, men don't cry, to now trying

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Speaker 2: to have people ask that question. And when they do,

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Speaker 2: like you're saying, people feel comfortable, people feel rease, release,

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Speaker 2: and that's that's what we need because at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day, you know, are uka people feel comfortable

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Speaker 2: to ask, people are going to feel even better to answer.

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Speaker 4: Beautifully said keV.

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Speaker 1: He beautifully said, so much more well done in the

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Speaker 1: environment that we're in now, obviously with twenty twenty, and

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of people out there that are doing

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Speaker 1: it tough.

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Speaker 4: It's okay to talk about this stuff.

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Speaker 3: And if you are listening right now and you're doing

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Speaker 3: it tough because a lot of people are just remember

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Speaker 3: you can make a phone call, all right. There's plenty

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Speaker 3: of services out there. The auoka dot org dot au

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Speaker 3: website has everything you need there.

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Speaker 4: We appreciate you coming in today.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for having me. Guys really appreciate it.

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Speaker 3: Thanks Nova