WEBVTT - Natalie Bassingthwaighte: “I'm happier than I've ever been”

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Something to Talk About the Stella Podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Sarah Lamarquin to your host, and every week I

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<v Speaker 2>sit down with some of the biggest names in the

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<v Speaker 2>country because when Australia's celebrities are ready to talk, they

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<v Speaker 2>come to Something to talk about. The last time I

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<v Speaker 2>sat down in this studio with Natalie Basinthwaite, I had

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<v Speaker 2>no idea what would unexpectedly unfold in the course of

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<v Speaker 2>our conversation.

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<v Speaker 1>It turns out neither did she.

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<v Speaker 2>But Nat had been quietly rediscovering who she was following

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<v Speaker 2>the end of her marriage to Cameron, her rogue trader's

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<v Speaker 2>bandmate and father of her two children, and as Nat

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<v Speaker 2>would reveal, she had also found new love.

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<v Speaker 3>I think I had internalized homophobia myself, so I was

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<v Speaker 3>terrified about what people would say and think and feel,

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<v Speaker 3>and you know, it still pops up every now and then,

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<v Speaker 3>but that's just ingrained and growing up in a certain

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<v Speaker 3>time when you weren't allowed to be.

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<v Speaker 2>Months later, Nat joins me today for an update on

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<v Speaker 2>a topic close to her heart, reinvention.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I've evolved so many times and changed, like

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like I'm a different person now to what

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<v Speaker 3>it was three years ago to what it was ten

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<v Speaker 3>years ago, twenty years ago. I look at that young

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<v Speaker 3>girl and don't recognize her.

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<v Speaker 2>From navigating co parenting without bitterness to basking in the

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<v Speaker 2>glow of her relationship with Pip. As she heads towards

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<v Speaker 2>her fiftieth birthday, Nat is taking on things she's never

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<v Speaker 2>done before, including starring in a one woman show, Shirley Valentine.

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<v Speaker 2>From Fear to Love and from Fame to laughter.

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<v Speaker 1>We cover a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>Of ground in today's episode, so let's dive in. Natalie

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<v Speaker 2>bassingthat welcome back to the Stellar podcast.

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<v Speaker 4>Still wrote at home here now, I know you're sure,

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<v Speaker 4>have you and me a studio?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, the last time we sat down here was

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<v Speaker 2>about sixteen months ago.

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<v Speaker 3>On wasn't that long?

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<v Speaker 1>It was the it was November twenty twenty three.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, it doesn't feel that long.

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<v Speaker 1>And we're here for Wow, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Love it, I know, can you believe it?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>And that look that was.

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<v Speaker 2>Quite a moment and certainly my time of having the

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<v Speaker 2>privilege of hosting this podcast, absolute standout moment, So absolute delight.

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<v Speaker 1>To have you back here. You are a busy woman.

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<v Speaker 2>You are in Shirley Valentine at the moment's been in Melbourne,

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<v Speaker 2>really successful season. They're about to open in Adelaide. Just

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<v Speaker 2>before we went on air, I'm in Sydney.

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<v Speaker 3>I was going, what's it coming to say?

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<v Speaker 1>What about Brisbane?

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<v Speaker 2>So it's obviously been been a big kid. And of

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<v Speaker 2>course for anyone that's not familiar with the story, Shirley

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<v Speaker 2>is a housewife who feels very much stuck in the

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<v Speaker 2>humdrum of domestic life.

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<v Speaker 1>She's wondering what happened to that young party girl I

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<v Speaker 1>used to be.

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<v Speaker 2>She unexpectedly gets an invitation to a holiday in Greece.

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<v Speaker 2>It is about second chances and self discovery and reinvention.

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<v Speaker 1>On paper, your life.

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<v Speaker 3>You're talking about me.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I was just going to say, I should really

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<v Speaker 2>clarify because on paper, Nap Bass and Shirley Valentine Housewife

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<v Speaker 2>don't look like there's many parallels.

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<v Speaker 1>But when we talk about some of those other things, yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>One hundred. I actually, you know, and I've said it before,

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<v Speaker 3>but I don't know if there's a woman alive that

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<v Speaker 3>doesn't resonate with Shirley in one way or another. And

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<v Speaker 3>I think that's why it's been so successful for many years. Obviously,

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<v Speaker 3>it was a play in the eighties, then a film,

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<v Speaker 3>and then you know, now I'm lucky enough to play

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<v Speaker 3>the role. But yeah, I definitely the reason why I

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<v Speaker 3>took it on was it resonated with me, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>and I knew it would resonate with so many people.

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<v Speaker 3>And like my director said, though, it's not just for women,

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<v Speaker 3>because you know, men find them see themselves in that

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<v Speaker 3>character too, of where have I gone? What did I

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<v Speaker 3>what have I become? You know, what's my next fifty years?

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<v Speaker 3>Looking like like what's all this about? You know? And

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<v Speaker 3>I just thought that was so beautiful, the story.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so true because we used to call it when

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<v Speaker 1>it was identified with men, you know, the midlife crisis,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's been comes such an outdated term because first

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<v Speaker 1>of all, forties, fifties, even sixties, people thinking.

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<v Speaker 2>That less midlife now than like a little pit stop

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<v Speaker 2>somewhere around maybe that the end of like the first

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<v Speaker 2>or second act. That's what we're starting to think about it.

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<v Speaker 2>But you're so right, it is that's a story that

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<v Speaker 2>can really resonate.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, have there been times.

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<v Speaker 2>In your life where you've thought as a teenager, as

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<v Speaker 2>a young woman breaking out into the industry, in your twenties,

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<v Speaker 2>where you've thought, Okay, it's time for me to have

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<v Speaker 2>a bit of a reinvention, even if that's not necessarily

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<v Speaker 2>the phrase that you use.

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<v Speaker 1>At the time.

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<v Speaker 3>Interestingly, I don't think i've realized that it's happened, but

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<v Speaker 3>of course, I mean I've evolved so many times and changed,

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<v Speaker 3>Like I feel like I'm a different person now to

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<v Speaker 3>what it was three years ago, to what it was

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<v Speaker 3>ten years ago, twenty years ago. I look at that

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<v Speaker 3>young girl and don't recognize her, you know, And it's

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<v Speaker 3>exactly what Shirley says, is where did Where's Shirley Valentine?

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<v Speaker 3>And like, I look at that girl and I go, oh,

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<v Speaker 3>I remember her totally don't want to go back there.

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<v Speaker 3>Just quietly, I'm really quite happy in this life, this

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<v Speaker 3>evolution of my life. And yeah, yeah, I resonate with

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<v Speaker 3>her so much. But I don't think that there's a

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<v Speaker 3>woman alive that wouldn't either.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't strike me as somebody that would look back

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<v Speaker 1>and think.

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<v Speaker 2>Gosh, I really wish I could go back to my

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<v Speaker 2>teenage years on my twenties. I mean, I feel the same,

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<v Speaker 2>and I know a lot of other women do something

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<v Speaker 2>that Rebecca Giveney and I actually talked about Love.

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<v Speaker 1>That Women podcasts recently.

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<v Speaker 2>I was saying, how she seems a really great example

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<v Speaker 2>of someone who life has genuinely just got better and

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<v Speaker 2>better as she's gotten older.

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<v Speaker 1>And I don't mean that in some.

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<v Speaker 2>Rah rah rah bumper stick away in a really profound way.

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<v Speaker 2>And it sounds as though that's also something for you.

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<v Speaker 2>When you look at your life journey, as you say it,

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<v Speaker 2>you're not looking back and wishing.

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<v Speaker 3>To really not looking back like I have looked back

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<v Speaker 3>recently to go how did I get here? For sure?

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<v Speaker 3>And why has my life turned on its head? And

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<v Speaker 3>I'm learning about that and it's I'm figuring it out.

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<v Speaker 3>Is the truth, you know? And one day maybe I'll

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<v Speaker 3>get to tell that story. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So, Shirley Valentine is a one woman show. No need

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<v Speaker 1>to explain that. Everyone knows what that means.

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<v Speaker 2>You're having a bad day, you're tired, there's nowhere to hide.

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<v Speaker 1>How do you get match fit for a one woman show?

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<v Speaker 3>You know? I who knows. I think I've figured out

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<v Speaker 3>that I can do it. It was scary to I

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<v Speaker 3>was just wondering whether it was possible, but I'd already

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<v Speaker 3>said yeah, So too bad, right, You just have to

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<v Speaker 3>make it happen. It's about putting the time and the

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<v Speaker 3>energy into it and really being so familiar with the character,

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<v Speaker 3>with the story, with the time and the place, and

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<v Speaker 3>like it's really doing your homework and doing it for

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<v Speaker 3>a long time. So I started like three months prior.

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<v Speaker 3>I have a different accent, so I'm learning the accent,

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<v Speaker 3>and then I play some other characters in the show,

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<v Speaker 3>so I'm playing you know them, their accent. It kind

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<v Speaker 3>of suits my crazy personality, I think. But it was

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<v Speaker 3>really really hard. I won't lie the hardest thing I've

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<v Speaker 3>ever done, hands down, but it seemed so far to

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<v Speaker 3>be the most rewarding thing I've ever done because it

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<v Speaker 3>is so challenging and to get myself into that space

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<v Speaker 3>when I'm just beside myself, you don't have a choice.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like you're it's like, you know, you are standing

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<v Speaker 3>off that cliff and you're about to jump, and it's

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<v Speaker 3>like here you go. You're going to sing or swim

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<v Speaker 3>and everyone's watching, you know you just I mean, I

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<v Speaker 3>have to take care of myself. I have to make

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<v Speaker 3>sure that my health is in good Nick and you know,

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<v Speaker 3>didn't go to the gym at all or pilates, which

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<v Speaker 3>is not like me at all, but it kind of

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<v Speaker 3>suited the character, so that failed, okay, And it was

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of the time was keeping quiet because two

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<v Speaker 3>hours of talking and crying and screaming and laughing and

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<v Speaker 3>telling it like it's it was demanding. And also to

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<v Speaker 3>reflect because the character dives into some things in her

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<v Speaker 3>past that I resonated with and that's exhausting, Like you're

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<v Speaker 3>constantly living her life, but there's this reflection of you

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<v Speaker 3>in there and it's very draining. So I don't know,

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<v Speaker 3>just keep going, keep going.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's a good lesson in life, isn't it That

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<v Speaker 2>idea of well, it's the old adage the show must

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<v Speaker 2>go on when there's absolutely no choice. You do rally

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<v Speaker 2>and you muster and you pull it off, and then

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<v Speaker 2>you're proving yourself on those times where there is that

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<v Speaker 2>opportunity in life all of us encounter.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I could maybe just not show up here

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<v Speaker 1>when you don't have that choice. It teaches you that

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<v Speaker 1>you can get through whatever you have to.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean maybe old school as well, like I believe

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<v Speaker 3>you should go on, you know, unless you're like there's

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<v Speaker 3>something serious going on. You should just you know, people

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<v Speaker 3>have paid a lot of money to come and see you,

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<v Speaker 3>and they're ready for that. You know. Yeah, it's so hard,

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<v Speaker 3>but it's rewarding. And yeah, taking it back to day

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<v Speaker 3>and day, I felt there was debilitating fear in my body,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, like I felt like I was in the

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<v Speaker 3>fetal position about a week before opening, going I can't

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<v Speaker 3>do it, I can't remember it, And like, why would

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<v Speaker 3>anyone write a story about like a perimenopausal woman, And

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<v Speaker 3>then a perimenopausal woman is playing the role who can't

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<v Speaker 3>remember what she was thinking about two seconds ago, let

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<v Speaker 3>alone forty pages of dialogue? I'm like, who does this?

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<v Speaker 3>But it's the most amazing script. I just yeah, I

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<v Speaker 3>just had to. I had to do it. I had

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<v Speaker 3>to dive in and see what would happen.

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<v Speaker 2>When you come off stage after all of that, because,

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<v Speaker 2>as you've talked about it, it's physically demanding, it's emotionally draining,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you're getting this standing ovation.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's the whole gamut of emotions.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you come off and fall in a heap?

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<v Speaker 1>Or do you think?

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<v Speaker 4>Great?

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<v Speaker 1>What city am I in tonight?

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<v Speaker 3>Like it, let's set out for I'm exhausted. I'm completely exhausted.

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<v Speaker 3>I usually just like because you're full, You're on the

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<v Speaker 3>entire time, and then you get this beautiful award of

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<v Speaker 3>this connection with the audience, you know, and then you

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<v Speaker 3>go into your dressing room and I'm like, and the

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<v Speaker 3>week comes off and I make it comes off, and

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<v Speaker 3>I just honestly just want to jump into bed. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to ask you a little bit about the

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<v Speaker 2>accent you were saying, that's very demanding. Now she Shirley

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<v Speaker 2>comes from Liverpool in the UK. You obviously are.

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<v Speaker 1>A singer musician, so you have a good ear.

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<v Speaker 2>We know that that can really help when actors are

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<v Speaker 2>learning an accent.

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<v Speaker 1>But if you've done many accents in your.

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<v Speaker 3>C not like this, No, like I've always been I have.

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<v Speaker 3>I have got a good ear, like I've always been

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<v Speaker 3>able to pick up you know, the standard English, the

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<v Speaker 3>standard American. But Liverpool. It threw me the first lesson

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<v Speaker 3>that I had with the incredible Jennifer White, who works

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<v Speaker 3>with Heather Mitchell, and like it's just she's phenomenal. I

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<v Speaker 3>couldn't even say the word mother or bush, like my

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<v Speaker 3>mouth didn't want to make those sounds, let alone the

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<v Speaker 3>shapes and so three months of two and a half

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<v Speaker 3>months of working with her every week, and everything was

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<v Speaker 3>hurting at first, because it's like a new muscle as well,

0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:03.120
<v Speaker 3>like my tongue and my jaw and my neck. Everything

0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:05.520
<v Speaker 3>was hurting and I can't do this, and it eventually

0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:07.719
<v Speaker 3>just She's like, you just got to be patient on

0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:10.280
<v Speaker 3>a bit. It's like learning a new skill. You're not

0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:12.520
<v Speaker 3>going to get it the first day, and as a performer,

0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:14.080
<v Speaker 3>you really want to get it the first day because

0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:15.920
<v Speaker 3>you feel like you're never going to get it. But

0:11:16.320 --> 0:11:18.960
<v Speaker 3>it came and now I can just do it whenever,

0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:19.800
<v Speaker 3>which is wild.

0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:20.199
<v Speaker 5>Right.

0:11:20.360 --> 0:11:22.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, I was going to ask if you would say something,

0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:25.679
<v Speaker 2>whether it's character or just anything could be about.

0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:27.760
<v Speaker 1>Like I haven't finished my coffee yet, right well.

0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.120
<v Speaker 3>Yes, well I like a glass of wine when I'm

0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:32.120
<v Speaker 3>doing the cooking today war but you know today I'm

0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.240
<v Speaker 3>good to have a coffee because coffee is so good

0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:36.400
<v Speaker 3>for you when you're really chatting like that, isn't it?

0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:39.160
<v Speaker 3>Do you like your sada? I love it? Well, I

0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:40.320
<v Speaker 3>love that it's nice in there.

0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:41.600
<v Speaker 1>Oh so great.

0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:45.000
<v Speaker 2>Look, I mean I'm clearly answering in my own one

0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:49.559
<v Speaker 2>boring Australian accent, ask a little bit about reinvention before

0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:51.760
<v Speaker 2>and wanted to talk looking back over the course of

0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:52.360
<v Speaker 2>your career.

0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:53.079
<v Speaker 1>I mean long.

0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.800
<v Speaker 2>Before there was the phrase slashy. I don't know if

0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:56.720
<v Speaker 2>they're still using that.

0:11:56.760 --> 0:11:59.120
<v Speaker 3>You know, I want a dollar you Walter Lashy? Did

0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:01.880
<v Speaker 3>you thirty years ago? Yeah?

0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:05.760
<v Speaker 2>Well that was fortuitous because that should really be upgraded,

0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:08.280
<v Speaker 2>like from Dolly to maybe a Stellar award.

0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:10.400
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I think twenty twenty five.

0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:14.600
<v Speaker 2>Obviously have worked across music or just talking about theater,

0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:20.800
<v Speaker 2>acting in film and television. You've hosted shows, been on shows,

0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.520
<v Speaker 2>as a participant on different shows.

0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:27.079
<v Speaker 1>Is there I mean I assume.

0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:29.679
<v Speaker 2>That there's a different part of yourself that you draw

0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:32.040
<v Speaker 2>or tap into.

0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:34.400
<v Speaker 1>For each genre. Is that true?

0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:37.280
<v Speaker 2>And what have you learned about yourself over the course

0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:39.560
<v Speaker 2>of the last few decades into it?

0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:43.920
<v Speaker 3>I think I've realized that anything as possible, and I

0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:49.760
<v Speaker 3>like a challenge. Clearly, I've always liked to challenge. I

0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:53.840
<v Speaker 3>think life is for living and learning and challenging and

0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:58.240
<v Speaker 3>being inspired and working with great people. And I don't know,

0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.240
<v Speaker 3>I just I've never been show of going okay and

0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:03.080
<v Speaker 3>then go oh, now how do you do it?

0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:03.440
<v Speaker 5>Like?

0:13:03.520 --> 0:13:07.960
<v Speaker 3>Now, what you know and and it's really exhilarating and

0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:11.120
<v Speaker 3>exhilarating to try new things and to see what you're

0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:16.000
<v Speaker 3>capable of. Yeah, I just I actually love what I

0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:20.280
<v Speaker 3>do so much, and the more that I can experience

0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:23.000
<v Speaker 3>life in completely different ways, the better for me. I'm

0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:23.880
<v Speaker 3>that type of person.

0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:28.480
<v Speaker 2>I can't think of anything as an outside observer that

0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:31.200
<v Speaker 2>you haven't tackled in terms.

0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:33.160
<v Speaker 1>Of the possibilities of work.

0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:38.280
<v Speaker 2>I mean, of course there's always roles and projects.

0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:40.120
<v Speaker 1>Could that's right, is a lawyer.

0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:44.199
<v Speaker 2>But is there something on the list or anything that

0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:47.160
<v Speaker 2>is in the back of your mind that you haven't

0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:49.120
<v Speaker 2>yet explored that you I mean, this.

0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:51.680
<v Speaker 3>Is my first one woman play and my only second

0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:54.520
<v Speaker 3>ever play in my life, so I've only done one

0:13:55.080 --> 0:14:00.400
<v Speaker 3>play before. Obviously musicals and like, but just to be

0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:04.360
<v Speaker 3>straight acting was a challenge. I think I've always wanted

0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:07.840
<v Speaker 3>to be in a movie musical, you know. And I

0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:10.080
<v Speaker 3>know that I just did Elvis, but I wasn't singing

0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:12.280
<v Speaker 3>in that. I just played a tiny bit part or whatever.

0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:15.880
<v Speaker 3>But like, to be able to actually be the performer

0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:19.240
<v Speaker 3>in the film would be wild. I'm one of those

0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:22.480
<v Speaker 3>people that if someone presents a concept or an idea

0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:26.520
<v Speaker 3>of my next job, like I really have to take

0:14:26.560 --> 0:14:29.080
<v Speaker 3>my time more often than not, like saying, with this play,

0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:32.320
<v Speaker 3>it's like he's one woman player. I said, no, how

0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:35.120
<v Speaker 3>does anyone learn that much? I didn't even know, don't

0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:37.680
<v Speaker 3>know what happened a second ago. But then when I

0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:40.160
<v Speaker 3>read it, I was so moved by this story and

0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:43.360
<v Speaker 3>the emotion of it, and I felt like there was

0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:46.520
<v Speaker 3>a similarity in my life of going, oh, you know.

0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:50.040
<v Speaker 3>And I couldn't say no. I said, a lot of

0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:54.360
<v Speaker 3>women men, anyone who wants to play a role like

0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:57.920
<v Speaker 3>this to be given this opportunity, I couldn't turn it down.

0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:03.640
<v Speaker 2>And up next, Nat on the importance of being honest

0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:06.680
<v Speaker 2>about what you're going through and how she feels approaching

0:15:06.720 --> 0:15:12.440
<v Speaker 2>her fiftieth birthday. I was going to ask about turning

0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.440
<v Speaker 2>fifty this year. You are going to be turning fifty

0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:20.560
<v Speaker 2>in September. You and I've spoken before about that. Last

0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:23.640
<v Speaker 2>time we spoke, he said, the joy of getting older

0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:25.680
<v Speaker 2>is that there's less pressure.

0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:27.479
<v Speaker 1>I'm at a place where I feel.

0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:31.080
<v Speaker 2>Confident with where I'm at and who I am. And

0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:34.120
<v Speaker 2>also we're talking about one of the things that I

0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:36.200
<v Speaker 2>really always love about you know, as you've always been

0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:39.840
<v Speaker 2>very generous about talking about Yes, I'm conscious of being

0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:42.280
<v Speaker 2>just first of all, a warmen because most women are

0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:46.200
<v Speaker 2>thinking about physical appearances. That's a downside of getting older.

0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:49.840
<v Speaker 2>Not everyone feels that way, but I like you am

0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:53.280
<v Speaker 2>a really genuine believer in all the amazing things that

0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:54.520
<v Speaker 2>come with the passing years.

0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:57.160
<v Speaker 3>But we also know that I know everything's sacking skin

0:15:57.240 --> 0:15:59.720
<v Speaker 3>of everything's drooping a little bit lower than it ever.

0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:03.320
<v Speaker 1>You look amazing, you really really do. And of course

0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:05.080
<v Speaker 1>you're on the cover of Stellar today.

0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:06.920
<v Speaker 2>So no one needs to take my word for it,

0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:09.800
<v Speaker 2>and that looks gorgeous as always. But I do love

0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:12.040
<v Speaker 2>that you've been honest about that because I think that's

0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:15.880
<v Speaker 2>a bit of a tussle with all women, but especially

0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:18.480
<v Speaker 2>for women in the public eye, because as a fear

0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:21.960
<v Speaker 2>of being judged, if you are vulnerable about that something

0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:24.760
<v Speaker 2>that you think about, and if you don't think about

0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.960
<v Speaker 2>it or don't talk about it, then everyone pretends.

0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:29.760
<v Speaker 3>It's never the right answer, right, there's never the right

0:16:30.000 --> 0:16:32.240
<v Speaker 3>kind of space to be in. I just feel like,

0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:36.120
<v Speaker 3>as women supporting women, we need just to be honest

0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:40.000
<v Speaker 3>because that's what shares that kinship. You know, like there's

0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:41.960
<v Speaker 3>nothing and I might have said this last time. But

0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:44.960
<v Speaker 3>they got to a space for me a few years

0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:48.120
<v Speaker 3>ago where Instagram was just so everyone was so beautiful

0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:50.040
<v Speaker 3>and so fabulous and had so much money and their

0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:52.320
<v Speaker 3>lives were perfect. And it still does that now, you know.

0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:57.240
<v Speaker 3>But I switched off like everyone that no longer served me,

0:16:57.360 --> 0:16:59.640
<v Speaker 3>Like I went through this big culling process so that

0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:02.280
<v Speaker 3>it was just people who inspired me and like I

0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:06.439
<v Speaker 3>follow like poets and met like beautiful, you know, inspiring women,

0:17:06.560 --> 0:17:08.959
<v Speaker 3>and like, honestly I do because then if I do

0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:11.000
<v Speaker 3>get that, oh, I just want to flick, which we

0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:15.320
<v Speaker 3>all what's happening now. It's like, bang, here's some positive stuff.

0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:18.800
<v Speaker 3>Here's like a beautiful you know quote or a poem

0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:21.560
<v Speaker 3>or I tend to get more of that stuff now

0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:24.240
<v Speaker 3>because the algorithms the way that they were. That's a

0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:27.639
<v Speaker 3>good hack. That's it's like, you're gonna still do it

0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:30.400
<v Speaker 3>because it's part of our society, you know, you still

0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:32.320
<v Speaker 3>kind of want to, like part of me wants to

0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:34.160
<v Speaker 3>just get rid of it all together. But it's really

0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:37.159
<v Speaker 3>good for work and it's a part of our industry.

0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:39.880
<v Speaker 3>But I just think it'd be so much nicer if

0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:42.680
<v Speaker 3>women were a bit more open and honest about their

0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:46.720
<v Speaker 3>hardships and their you know, life isn't perfect, and everyone

0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:49.760
<v Speaker 3>who says their life is perfect, it's not. It's it

0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:51.720
<v Speaker 3>doesn't mean that they're not having a great life, but

0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:55.399
<v Speaker 3>they've had stuff. Everyone's got trauma and triggers and you know,

0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:58.520
<v Speaker 3>and the more that we share in that community, I

0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:01.920
<v Speaker 3>think the better because it makes feel better about ourselves.

0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:06.360
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely. So, how do you have any plans for fiftieth birth?

0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:07.880
<v Speaker 1>Quite a few months.

0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:11.720
<v Speaker 3>Away, I've started to plan. I started to like, I've

0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:13.920
<v Speaker 3>changed so many times, but I was like, maybe I'll

0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:16.240
<v Speaker 3>do fifty things before fifty. And then when i started

0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:18.600
<v Speaker 3>writing a list of things, I'm like, oh, I've done that,

0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:20.440
<v Speaker 3>and I've done that, Like I've hot air ballooned, I've

0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:22.440
<v Speaker 3>jumped out of a bungee jump. I mean, i haven't

0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:25.360
<v Speaker 3>hot air ballooned. That's in a couple of weeks. I've

0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:27.760
<v Speaker 3>jumped out of an air So I've done some scary stuff.

0:18:27.800 --> 0:18:30.600
<v Speaker 3>And then I'm like, I've seen, you know, the Pyramids,

0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:32.360
<v Speaker 3>and I've like I've traveled. So I was like, oh,

0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:34.760
<v Speaker 3>I've kind of done a lot of that stuff. The

0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:37.240
<v Speaker 3>one thing that I'm definitely doing is my older sister

0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:38.760
<v Speaker 3>and I and my Nan. We're going to go down

0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:40.879
<v Speaker 3>to a caravan park that we used to go to.

0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:43.159
<v Speaker 3>And I was originally thinking maybe I'll just rain down

0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:45.560
<v Speaker 3>the hot entire caravan park and just have all my

0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:48.080
<v Speaker 3>friends and kids and big like that. Now I'm just

0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:49.639
<v Speaker 3>going to make up my Nan and my sister just

0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:51.359
<v Speaker 3>for a night or two because we used to go

0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:53.680
<v Speaker 3>there as kids, and that just really feels. My NaN's

0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:56.560
<v Speaker 3>ninety two now and we used to travel around Australia

0:18:56.560 --> 0:18:58.440
<v Speaker 3>with my Nan in a caravan, and I think that's

0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:01.560
<v Speaker 3>something that I definitely want to do. But I'm really

0:19:01.680 --> 0:19:04.440
<v Speaker 3>kind of vibing on whether this happens or not. I'm

0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:06.679
<v Speaker 3>trying to find the right space. And I've seen a

0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:09.600
<v Speaker 3>couple at the moment of having a very intimate dinner

0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:12.280
<v Speaker 3>of like just eight of my best girlfriends who have

0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:15.160
<v Speaker 3>been you know, the ride or dies for fifty years

0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:19.919
<v Speaker 3>or forty fifty years, and then the next day having

0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:24.080
<v Speaker 3>a beautiful picnic sort of thing with all my friends,

0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:27.399
<v Speaker 3>all their partners, lots of kids running around, just playing

0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:30.520
<v Speaker 3>games and dancing with barefoot in the grass. So you

0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:33.359
<v Speaker 3>both at all you do exactly.

0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:35.679
<v Speaker 2>It's a metaphor for life, and you should have it

0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:38.919
<v Speaker 2>all because it's that intimacy of that small group, but

0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:41.680
<v Speaker 2>then having that big group as well.

0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:43.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean, look, why not a lot of people.

0:19:43.480 --> 0:19:46.120
<v Speaker 3>I want to do yogurt and caw ceremonies and get

0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:48.360
<v Speaker 3>on a horse and ride. So I kind of want

0:19:48.359 --> 0:19:49.200
<v Speaker 3>a weekend of.

0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:53.040
<v Speaker 2>Just you know, maybe fifty ways to celebrate, and you

0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:54.920
<v Speaker 2>could come up with all of.

0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:57.400
<v Speaker 3>These different you watch this space, so I'll tell you

0:19:56.880 --> 0:20:00.720
<v Speaker 3>you posted. Yeah, I'm excited. It's it's nice. It's a

0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:04.760
<v Speaker 3>nice it's surreal that I'm fifty, Like I keep forgetting that.

0:20:04.760 --> 0:20:07.600
<v Speaker 3>That's you know, when I was eighteen, like thirty was

0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:09.560
<v Speaker 3>so old, and now I'm nearly fifty. But it's just

0:20:09.640 --> 0:20:12.800
<v Speaker 3>such a joy, Like I've never felt so comfortable in

0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:16.080
<v Speaker 3>my own skin and in my own space. And yeah,

0:20:16.119 --> 0:20:18.800
<v Speaker 3>I'm just I'm probably happier than I've ever been, which

0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:19.320
<v Speaker 3>is wild.

0:20:19.600 --> 0:20:22.679
<v Speaker 1>That's fantastic. It's great. And also what a year you

0:20:22.720 --> 0:20:23.680
<v Speaker 1>will have had by then.

0:20:23.880 --> 0:20:27.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, hopefully by that point, Julie Valentine will too the

0:20:27.600 --> 0:20:30.760
<v Speaker 2>whole country. So I want to ask you a little

0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:33.440
<v Speaker 2>bit about International Women's Day as well. So, yes, you've

0:20:33.480 --> 0:20:35.439
<v Speaker 2>had a birthday coming up in September, but actually at

0:20:35.480 --> 0:20:38.720
<v Speaker 2>the end of this week, March eight is International Women's Day. Now,

0:20:39.080 --> 0:20:42.960
<v Speaker 2>that's always well, I would know. Talking about social media,

0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:46.280
<v Speaker 2>and in my former life as a columnist, I always

0:20:46.320 --> 0:20:50.800
<v Speaker 2>had angry people. Sometimes sorry, don't get angry at me, men,

0:20:50.840 --> 0:20:54.359
<v Speaker 2>but there was often a disproportionate number of angry men saying,

0:20:54.720 --> 0:20:57.560
<v Speaker 2>why do we need International Women's Day, Where's the International

0:20:57.600 --> 0:20:58.120
<v Speaker 2>Men's Day?

0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:01.280
<v Speaker 3>Blah blah blah blah, bank your own day exactly, And.

0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:03.640
<v Speaker 1>In fact they did. There is somewhere on the calendar.

0:21:05.000 --> 0:21:06.080
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely they do.

0:21:06.160 --> 0:21:07.280
<v Speaker 3>But I also.

0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:10.720
<v Speaker 2>Think I would be happy if we didn't need it.

0:21:11.160 --> 0:21:14.560
<v Speaker 2>But in my view, we don't still have equality. We

0:21:14.600 --> 0:21:19.760
<v Speaker 2>don't have proper representation in the boardrooms, in power, we

0:21:19.840 --> 0:21:24.400
<v Speaker 2>have a gender pay gap. The inequality can be even

0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:28.000
<v Speaker 2>more entrenched among women of color, and obviously there's different

0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:33.200
<v Speaker 2>parts of the world where the disparity is absolutely horrifying.

0:21:34.119 --> 0:21:37.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I've asked an answered the question. Very obnoxious

0:21:37.240 --> 0:21:37.480
<v Speaker 2>of me.

0:21:37.880 --> 0:21:40.720
<v Speaker 1>Really, all we only care about is your thought.

0:21:40.560 --> 0:21:44.080
<v Speaker 2>On that thatt the need for International Women's Day in

0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:45.200
<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty.

0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:47.040
<v Speaker 3>Five, I love it. We need it more than ever

0:21:47.240 --> 0:21:50.440
<v Speaker 3>because even though there has been a lot of shifts,

0:21:50.600 --> 0:21:54.240
<v Speaker 3>especially in my lifetime, you know, from the eighties to now,

0:21:54.440 --> 0:21:57.199
<v Speaker 3>even like my teenage years, there's been so many. But

0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:00.800
<v Speaker 3>there's always a way to go, always a way to

0:22:01.440 --> 0:22:03.800
<v Speaker 3>stand up and be proud and have a voice and

0:22:03.840 --> 0:22:09.240
<v Speaker 3>be heard. And we have such talented, brilliant, minded women

0:22:09.520 --> 0:22:14.200
<v Speaker 3>and nurturing women, and like, I think that gets underestimated

0:22:14.320 --> 0:22:16.639
<v Speaker 3>in the world of boardroom, in the world of politics,

0:22:16.680 --> 0:22:19.480
<v Speaker 3>in the world of theater. I mean, you know, film

0:22:19.520 --> 0:22:23.440
<v Speaker 3>and television and producing and power and directing, and it's

0:22:23.560 --> 0:22:26.040
<v Speaker 3>coming though, you know, like you see the Barbie movie,

0:22:26.040 --> 0:22:27.680
<v Speaker 3>even though it's Barbie, but you know what I mean,

0:22:27.720 --> 0:22:30.520
<v Speaker 3>like the first female director to be like all of

0:22:30.560 --> 0:22:32.840
<v Speaker 3>that stuff is just crazy to me, but it is.

0:22:33.160 --> 0:22:36.119
<v Speaker 3>It's seeping through, you know, Reese Witherspoon having her production

0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:39.440
<v Speaker 3>company and Jessica Albert having and I'm talking about my industry.

0:22:39.520 --> 0:22:44.000
<v Speaker 3>But seeing this happen. It's slow and it's but it's happening.

0:22:44.320 --> 0:22:46.840
<v Speaker 3>So I still think it's it's a chance to stand

0:22:46.920 --> 0:22:50.440
<v Speaker 3>up and also not just you know, complain and be down,

0:22:50.520 --> 0:22:54.480
<v Speaker 3>but also celebrate what we've achieved in my lifetime so

0:22:54.560 --> 0:22:56.720
<v Speaker 3>far and what there is to go, you know, we're

0:22:56.720 --> 0:22:59.159
<v Speaker 3>not there yet. We're going to keep going until. I

0:22:59.160 --> 0:23:02.000
<v Speaker 3>don't know, why not keep going forever. You know, absolutely

0:23:02.119 --> 0:23:04.879
<v Speaker 3>so much more equality that needs to happen. There's so

0:23:05.000 --> 0:23:10.199
<v Speaker 3>much more I think, gratitude for one another in this

0:23:10.320 --> 0:23:13.000
<v Speaker 3>space of being a woman and being proud of each

0:23:13.000 --> 0:23:14.960
<v Speaker 3>other and supporting each other. So that's what I like

0:23:15.040 --> 0:23:18.120
<v Speaker 3>to see for International Women's Day as well, is allowing

0:23:18.440 --> 0:23:23.119
<v Speaker 3>opening our hearts, our minds, and our souls to be heard.

0:23:23.560 --> 0:23:25.440
<v Speaker 2>That's a really nice way to put it, I think,

0:23:25.480 --> 0:23:28.840
<v Speaker 2>and so true, having a bit more gratitude for one another.

0:23:28.880 --> 0:23:31.040
<v Speaker 2>And I think also it's because, as you say, you're

0:23:31.040 --> 0:23:34.080
<v Speaker 2>talking about your industry, and that's really important because we

0:23:34.119 --> 0:23:37.040
<v Speaker 2>all speak to our own industries. But your industry of course,

0:23:37.160 --> 0:23:42.399
<v Speaker 2>is also a huge cultural touchstone. It's about visibility and

0:23:42.480 --> 0:23:45.280
<v Speaker 2>things like the Barbie movie and what we are seeing

0:23:45.320 --> 0:23:48.239
<v Speaker 2>in theater and the music that we're listening to. That

0:23:48.320 --> 0:23:53.240
<v Speaker 2>has a huge cultural effect on everyone. It shows everyone,

0:23:53.359 --> 0:23:57.840
<v Speaker 2>especially young girls, what they could be, the opportunities you

0:23:57.960 --> 0:24:01.520
<v Speaker 2>and I boast sport women you look.

0:24:01.400 --> 0:24:06.760
<v Speaker 1>At and female year. No, sorry, it's very it's.

0:24:07.240 --> 0:24:11.120
<v Speaker 2>I know, it's it's just for I'd like to think

0:24:11.160 --> 0:24:11.399
<v Speaker 2>it's me.

0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:12.439
<v Speaker 1>But it's just it's right.

0:24:12.680 --> 0:24:15.960
<v Speaker 3>So it's so.

0:24:15.880 --> 0:24:19.320
<v Speaker 2>Important that that visibility because that's also something that you

0:24:19.359 --> 0:24:22.199
<v Speaker 2>would have observed and also been an active participant in,

0:24:22.400 --> 0:24:28.560
<v Speaker 2>is helping shift the conversation around being grateful for one another,

0:24:28.760 --> 0:24:33.520
<v Speaker 2>otherwise known sometimes as women supporting other women, and being

0:24:34.440 --> 0:24:37.400
<v Speaker 2>reflective in a good way of how far we have come,

0:24:37.680 --> 0:24:42.280
<v Speaker 2>but also not being shamed into not acknowledging that we

0:24:42.359 --> 0:24:44.240
<v Speaker 2>still have a way to go.

0:24:44.400 --> 0:24:46.399
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and that's okay.

0:24:46.119 --> 0:24:50.439
<v Speaker 6>Absolutely we can be great and also absolutely give us

0:24:50.520 --> 0:24:52.919
<v Speaker 6>more that I wanted to ask you a little bit

0:24:52.920 --> 0:24:58.640
<v Speaker 6>another actually milestone Rogue Traders Voodoo Child. You know, it's

0:24:58.640 --> 0:25:01.520
<v Speaker 6>going to mark twenty years since it's released this May.

0:25:01.560 --> 0:25:04.160
<v Speaker 6>I mean, we've just got milestones all over the place here.

0:25:05.000 --> 0:25:07.359
<v Speaker 1>I mean, any any plans with that.

0:25:07.800 --> 0:25:11.440
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think we're rereleasing the track, which is beautiful,

0:25:11.480 --> 0:25:14.719
<v Speaker 3>you know, and just such a yeah, full circle moment,

0:25:14.920 --> 0:25:17.640
<v Speaker 3>you know, twenty years again. It just when you even

0:25:17.680 --> 0:25:21.240
<v Speaker 3>said that, the last time we did think was sixteen. Yeah,

0:25:22.160 --> 0:25:24.639
<v Speaker 3>like twenty years ago. There's so much that's happened in

0:25:24.680 --> 0:25:28.040
<v Speaker 3>twenty years. But also it feels like yesterday. Time is

0:25:28.080 --> 0:25:29.280
<v Speaker 3>such an interesting beast.

0:25:29.840 --> 0:25:30.639
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, it is.

0:25:30.680 --> 0:25:32.600
<v Speaker 2>It is so true, and especially when you've got a

0:25:32.640 --> 0:25:37.120
<v Speaker 2>lot going on as well, I think, like because time accelerates, Yeah, and.

0:25:37.040 --> 0:25:39.000
<v Speaker 3>Then especially you've got to be in now, We've got

0:25:39.000 --> 0:25:41.560
<v Speaker 3>to hold this space so precious too.

0:25:41.760 --> 0:25:42.680
<v Speaker 1>It's really true.

0:25:42.920 --> 0:25:46.920
<v Speaker 2>And I think also when you've got children, it also

0:25:47.080 --> 0:25:53.439
<v Speaker 2>is a particular living breathing clock if you like every

0:25:53.720 --> 0:25:56.240
<v Speaker 2>moment you see it, even if again you don't realize

0:25:56.240 --> 0:25:58.080
<v Speaker 2>it at the moment, but I'm sure you, like me,

0:25:58.200 --> 0:26:00.960
<v Speaker 2>have got moments where a child will you know, get

0:26:01.000 --> 0:26:04.399
<v Speaker 2>out of bed maybe at two o'clock in the afternoon

0:26:04.600 --> 0:26:06.720
<v Speaker 2>and you know, have their tenth bowl of you know,

0:26:06.800 --> 0:26:09.880
<v Speaker 2>weeks not sponsored by week bix, just staying in my house.

0:26:09.960 --> 0:26:12.920
<v Speaker 2>I seem to be going through like for one kill

0:26:13.520 --> 0:26:14.080
<v Speaker 2>a week.

0:26:13.920 --> 0:26:14.800
<v Speaker 1>Bix at moment.

0:26:15.240 --> 0:26:17.000
<v Speaker 3>But you know, that's.

0:26:16.840 --> 0:26:21.240
<v Speaker 2>Also a reminder every day of how much time can

0:26:21.440 --> 0:26:24.680
<v Speaker 2>pass so que not even noticing so quickly.

0:26:25.040 --> 0:26:27.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I've definitely noticed that in the last well two

0:26:27.960 --> 0:26:28.639
<v Speaker 3>years for sure.

0:26:29.200 --> 0:26:31.080
<v Speaker 2>And as you say, I mean, it doesn't feel like

0:26:31.240 --> 0:26:33.720
<v Speaker 2>sixteen months ago since you and I sat down, but

0:26:34.080 --> 0:26:36.960
<v Speaker 2>I did the maths. I was like, CALCULU got to

0:26:37.040 --> 0:26:39.320
<v Speaker 2>sixteen I'm a journal you know, Mats is a strong

0:26:39.359 --> 0:26:42.679
<v Speaker 2>point that my calculations from November twenty twenty three to

0:26:42.720 --> 0:26:45.480
<v Speaker 2>you and I sitting here the first week of March

0:26:45.480 --> 0:26:48.720
<v Speaker 2>in twenty twenty five, sixteen months, because we had a

0:26:48.720 --> 0:26:51.720
<v Speaker 2>really lovely conversation. I really wanted to end our conversation

0:26:51.880 --> 0:26:54.800
<v Speaker 2>today by revisiting some of that and just checking in.

0:26:55.000 --> 0:26:57.280
<v Speaker 1>Now that we've established sixteen months.

0:26:57.480 --> 0:26:59.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, we've talked about everything, like a lot's happened for

0:26:59.800 --> 0:27:02.560
<v Speaker 2>you professionally, But of course at the time that we

0:27:02.560 --> 0:27:07.399
<v Speaker 2>were talking about, you and your husband Cam had separated

0:27:07.440 --> 0:27:10.320
<v Speaker 2>earlier that year, and we had a really lovely conversation

0:27:11.040 --> 0:27:13.360
<v Speaker 2>which I'd love to revisit, just about how the two

0:27:13.400 --> 0:27:17.800
<v Speaker 2>of you had tackle co parenting. And I don't even

0:27:17.880 --> 0:27:20.680
<v Speaker 2>feel like the word co parenting does justice for it.

0:27:20.720 --> 0:27:22.479
<v Speaker 2>You know, you were living in the same house for

0:27:22.520 --> 0:27:26.399
<v Speaker 2>a while, and that is it's such a helpful conversation

0:27:26.560 --> 0:27:29.040
<v Speaker 2>to so many of us. I'm in a similar situation.

0:27:29.119 --> 0:27:35.120
<v Speaker 2>I think that amicable co parenting is something that everyone

0:27:35.160 --> 0:27:39.000
<v Speaker 2>aspires to, but to actually live it and hear about

0:27:39.080 --> 0:27:40.879
<v Speaker 2>it is very rare, and I just would love to

0:27:40.920 --> 0:27:42.880
<v Speaker 2>start by asking you about that side of things.

0:27:42.880 --> 0:27:47.200
<v Speaker 3>We're really good you know, it's not without being hard.

0:27:47.680 --> 0:27:49.600
<v Speaker 3>It's of course, like I'm not sitting here going, oh,

0:27:49.600 --> 0:27:53.040
<v Speaker 3>we're so great, it's amazing. We're pretty good, you know.

0:27:53.200 --> 0:27:56.960
<v Speaker 3>But very early on, like we decided to stay in

0:27:56.960 --> 0:27:59.640
<v Speaker 3>the house for a while, so we only left our

0:27:59.840 --> 0:28:03.040
<v Speaker 3>family home last April. I mean, I'm already in a

0:28:03.119 --> 0:28:06.639
<v Speaker 3>relationship with someone and he's like, you know, like and

0:28:06.680 --> 0:28:08.680
<v Speaker 3>it was really hard, but we did it for the

0:28:08.760 --> 0:28:10.840
<v Speaker 3>kids because it was the right thing to do for them,

0:28:11.680 --> 0:28:15.119
<v Speaker 3>and you know, we were just sort of tiptoeing around

0:28:15.520 --> 0:28:19.480
<v Speaker 3>when that next time would be of Okay, now they've

0:28:19.760 --> 0:28:23.080
<v Speaker 3>adjusted to us not being together. They know mum's got

0:28:23.119 --> 0:28:25.200
<v Speaker 3>a partner. That's the new thing. Now, they know that

0:28:25.240 --> 0:28:26.919
<v Speaker 3>we're going to move out of the house, and we

0:28:27.000 --> 0:28:29.400
<v Speaker 3>just took our time with that. But also we met

0:28:29.400 --> 0:28:37.119
<v Speaker 3>an amazing mediator. And originally someone had recommended this incredible woman,

0:28:37.240 --> 0:28:40.000
<v Speaker 3>and for us, we just wanted the kids to be okay.

0:28:40.160 --> 0:28:42.200
<v Speaker 3>So we sat down with her and she had this

0:28:43.160 --> 0:28:45.840
<v Speaker 3>whiteboard and she was like, tell me about your kids,

0:28:45.880 --> 0:28:48.120
<v Speaker 3>and we're both sitting there going okay, And we both

0:28:48.200 --> 0:28:51.400
<v Speaker 3>talked together and individually about both our kids and well,

0:28:51.400 --> 0:28:53.080
<v Speaker 3>what do you want for them? Like when they in

0:28:53.160 --> 0:28:56.280
<v Speaker 3>five years time, and we both said, we want them

0:28:56.320 --> 0:28:58.520
<v Speaker 3>to be happy, and we want them to, you know,

0:28:58.600 --> 0:29:00.680
<v Speaker 3>be full of love and kindness. Do you want them

0:29:00.680 --> 0:29:01.600
<v Speaker 3>to go to you need? Do you want them to

0:29:01.720 --> 0:29:03.560
<v Speaker 3>We said, we just want them to be happy, you

0:29:03.600 --> 0:29:06.400
<v Speaker 3>know whatever that looks like for them, And then she said, great,

0:29:06.400 --> 0:29:08.560
<v Speaker 3>well for you. For them to be that, you guys

0:29:08.600 --> 0:29:10.640
<v Speaker 3>need to get on really well. And this like and

0:29:10.680 --> 0:29:15.240
<v Speaker 3>it really shook both of us, I think, into going, yeah, obvious,

0:29:15.520 --> 0:29:20.600
<v Speaker 3>but it's really shaped have we've parented and co parented

0:29:20.720 --> 0:29:24.000
<v Speaker 3>and supported one another through this phase as well. Like

0:29:24.080 --> 0:29:27.160
<v Speaker 3>Cam's in a relationship and he's really happy, and the

0:29:27.240 --> 0:29:32.000
<v Speaker 3>kids seeing us happy and communicating and you know, like

0:29:32.160 --> 0:29:36.000
<v Speaker 3>us doing things altogether, it's it's really good for them

0:29:36.040 --> 0:29:38.720
<v Speaker 3>and we're okay. It took a while, but we're okay.

0:29:38.960 --> 0:29:42.360
<v Speaker 3>And yeah, if anyone is in the same bird, I

0:29:42.480 --> 0:29:46.959
<v Speaker 3>totally recommend just taking being slow if you can, not

0:29:47.000 --> 0:29:51.920
<v Speaker 3>everyone can. But also it's about the kids, because if

0:29:51.960 --> 0:29:55.360
<v Speaker 3>you we don't talk badly about each other in front

0:29:55.400 --> 0:29:57.840
<v Speaker 3>of the kids, you know, that's not fair. If we've

0:29:57.920 --> 0:30:00.160
<v Speaker 3>got something to say, we'll talk about it between the

0:30:00.160 --> 0:30:02.920
<v Speaker 3>two of us. Doesn't really happen anymore. You know, we

0:30:03.120 --> 0:30:06.800
<v Speaker 3>just we've really healed from that sort of space and

0:30:06.840 --> 0:30:09.480
<v Speaker 3>we've moved through to a completely different one. But the

0:30:09.560 --> 0:30:13.520
<v Speaker 3>kids need to know if we're okay. It's almost like

0:30:13.680 --> 0:30:16.600
<v Speaker 3>they've been gliding through it, you know what I mean,

0:30:16.760 --> 0:30:19.600
<v Speaker 3>because they're seeing mum and dad be okay and being

0:30:19.640 --> 0:30:23.040
<v Speaker 3>okay with each other's new partners and what that looks like.

0:30:23.200 --> 0:30:26.440
<v Speaker 3>And we can all talk about each other's you know,

0:30:26.760 --> 0:30:29.400
<v Speaker 3>situations and be excited. You know how people look at

0:30:29.440 --> 0:30:31.520
<v Speaker 3>my new room, my enemy. Oh that's so cool. You know,

0:30:31.560 --> 0:30:34.040
<v Speaker 3>I'm going with blah blah blah, And yeah, it's a

0:30:34.080 --> 0:30:36.640
<v Speaker 3>really nice place to be. But it definitely took a while,

0:30:36.960 --> 0:30:37.720
<v Speaker 3>of course.

0:30:37.480 --> 0:30:39.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean, and of course, as you say, it's not

0:30:39.680 --> 0:30:42.640
<v Speaker 2>like it's it's easy, because if it was, then everyone

0:30:42.720 --> 0:30:46.440
<v Speaker 2>would do it, and we also wouldn't be the first generation.

0:30:46.720 --> 0:30:51.200
<v Speaker 1>It's navigating this terrain. You know, only really.

0:30:51.080 --> 0:30:53.760
<v Speaker 2>Twenty years ago, it was still quite the norm for

0:30:53.960 --> 0:30:56.800
<v Speaker 2>a lot of separations, especially when children were involved, to

0:30:56.840 --> 0:30:58.120
<v Speaker 2>be very adversarial.

0:30:58.760 --> 0:31:01.120
<v Speaker 1>And again, I know you and I both want to acknowledge, of.

0:31:01.040 --> 0:31:04.480
<v Speaker 2>Course, there are situations where that's completely understandable, but to

0:31:04.680 --> 0:31:08.440
<v Speaker 2>have that intention with the children at the middle of it.

0:31:08.520 --> 0:31:11.240
<v Speaker 2>And as you talk about that, writing things on the

0:31:11.240 --> 0:31:15.520
<v Speaker 2>whiteboard with that mediator, as you say, it seems simple,

0:31:15.680 --> 0:31:18.239
<v Speaker 2>we want our children to be happy. But I am

0:31:18.240 --> 0:31:20.560
<v Speaker 2>also speaking from my own experience here. If that then

0:31:20.680 --> 0:31:26.000
<v Speaker 2>sharpens the focus and that's what's guiding you sometimes in life,

0:31:26.600 --> 0:31:31.840
<v Speaker 2>what sounds simple is just about refining what's actually important here.

0:31:31.680 --> 0:31:33.840
<v Speaker 3>Every step of the way, because they're gonna you know,

0:31:33.880 --> 0:31:36.160
<v Speaker 3>they're going to be twenty soon and twenty one and

0:31:36.200 --> 0:31:38.320
<v Speaker 3>twenty five, and they're going to have like, really you know,

0:31:38.560 --> 0:31:43.080
<v Speaker 3>serious relationships and how we respect each other, Cam and

0:31:43.120 --> 0:31:45.840
<v Speaker 3>I like in our past relationship what we did have

0:31:46.000 --> 0:31:50.240
<v Speaker 3>together and what we have now, it's different, but that

0:31:50.320 --> 0:31:53.080
<v Speaker 3>will shape their lives in a much more beautiful way

0:31:53.120 --> 0:31:55.680
<v Speaker 3>and their relationships moving forward. And that's what was important

0:31:55.720 --> 0:31:57.520
<v Speaker 3>to us absolutely.

0:31:57.560 --> 0:31:59.760
<v Speaker 2>I mean, what a lesson that you have shared with them. Thanks,

0:32:00.160 --> 0:32:02.400
<v Speaker 2>thank you for I really loved speaking to you about

0:32:02.400 --> 0:32:04.680
<v Speaker 2>that last time. And I yeah, I think it's so

0:32:04.720 --> 0:32:07.320
<v Speaker 2>important and I love that. Whatever we're calling it now,

0:32:07.360 --> 0:32:09.640
<v Speaker 2>like I say, I call it co parenting, I call.

0:32:09.560 --> 0:32:10.360
<v Speaker 3>It co parenting.

0:32:10.680 --> 0:32:13.200
<v Speaker 2>Whatever it is, I think it's it's the more we

0:32:13.200 --> 0:32:14.800
<v Speaker 2>can talk about it, the better I think.

0:32:14.920 --> 0:32:17.200
<v Speaker 3>The hardest thing I think about the co parenting space

0:32:17.240 --> 0:32:19.400
<v Speaker 3>for me has definitely been like we had this is

0:32:19.440 --> 0:32:22.480
<v Speaker 3>the first Christmas we didn't have as a family, and

0:32:22.880 --> 0:32:24.800
<v Speaker 3>even though we weren't together for a year or two

0:32:24.800 --> 0:32:28.640
<v Speaker 3>before that, we still did Christmas together as that family unit,

0:32:29.080 --> 0:32:31.640
<v Speaker 3>and it was time. You know, we've both got new partners,

0:32:31.760 --> 0:32:34.760
<v Speaker 3>and but it was my first year without my kids,

0:32:34.760 --> 0:32:38.320
<v Speaker 3>and it was the hardest Christmas I've ever experienced. And

0:32:38.360 --> 0:32:40.480
<v Speaker 3>I was like a therapist is like, you know what,

0:32:40.520 --> 0:32:44.000
<v Speaker 3>it's okay. You tell the kids it's the month and

0:32:44.040 --> 0:32:46.560
<v Speaker 3>it's the month of Christmas, and you'll celebrate on different days.

0:32:46.560 --> 0:32:48.040
<v Speaker 3>So I keep going it's the month, and then one

0:32:48.120 --> 0:32:50.800
<v Speaker 3>day I'd be like, you know, hysterically crying, and then

0:32:50.800 --> 0:32:52.440
<v Speaker 3>the next it'd be like it's okay, Like, well do

0:32:52.600 --> 0:32:56.680
<v Speaker 3>our own day. And it was really hard. It was

0:32:56.720 --> 0:32:57.880
<v Speaker 3>harder than I thought it would be.

0:32:58.320 --> 0:33:01.400
<v Speaker 2>I can imagine, not to be glib about it, but

0:33:01.520 --> 0:33:04.160
<v Speaker 2>I imagine that going through that the first time will

0:33:04.200 --> 0:33:05.000
<v Speaker 2>be the hardest.

0:33:05.040 --> 0:33:08.880
<v Speaker 3>And then I'm like, no, I'm good, Now that's next

0:33:09.000 --> 0:33:10.520
<v Speaker 3>year they'll be with this year, they'll be with me.

0:33:10.720 --> 0:33:12.920
<v Speaker 3>And then the following you, they probably won't care about Christmas.

0:33:12.960 --> 0:33:15.400
<v Speaker 3>So I feel like I've done the hard and the

0:33:15.480 --> 0:33:19.239
<v Speaker 3>blessing though again from the therapist was like, all you

0:33:19.280 --> 0:33:22.400
<v Speaker 3>want is for them to be okay, because we're adults.

0:33:22.400 --> 0:33:25.040
<v Speaker 3>We can handle being disappointed or upset or how hard

0:33:25.080 --> 0:33:27.320
<v Speaker 3>it is. They had the best Christmas because they're with

0:33:27.440 --> 0:33:29.760
<v Speaker 3>Cam's family in Melbourne for the first time in years,

0:33:29.800 --> 0:33:32.040
<v Speaker 3>which they needed to do, and the fact that they're

0:33:32.080 --> 0:33:34.280
<v Speaker 3>ringing mere going oh my god, that's that's what I

0:33:34.320 --> 0:33:36.200
<v Speaker 3>wanted to hear. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

0:33:36.360 --> 0:33:38.560
<v Speaker 1>No, it's really hard, but.

0:33:38.480 --> 0:33:41.240
<v Speaker 3>It's it couldn't have gone better for them, and again

0:33:41.280 --> 0:33:42.200
<v Speaker 3>that's all that matters.

0:33:42.360 --> 0:33:45.760
<v Speaker 2>You were driven by what you wanted for them, and yes,

0:33:46.040 --> 0:33:49.840
<v Speaker 2>and I think also it's like those it's not growing

0:33:49.880 --> 0:33:52.680
<v Speaker 2>pains isn't the right word, but every time that you're

0:33:53.560 --> 0:33:55.720
<v Speaker 2>getting through something and you know you need to get

0:33:55.760 --> 0:33:58.800
<v Speaker 2>to the other side of it, it can really hurt

0:33:58.800 --> 0:33:59.520
<v Speaker 2>that it's a little bit.

0:33:59.560 --> 0:34:03.560
<v Speaker 3>It's the first every first night is this is the hardest.

0:34:03.640 --> 0:34:05.480
<v Speaker 3>And then once you've done it, you're like, okay, we

0:34:05.560 --> 0:34:06.840
<v Speaker 3>did that. We're good now.

0:34:06.880 --> 0:34:09.560
<v Speaker 1>So you've done that and that was a hard first way.

0:34:09.640 --> 0:34:10.880
<v Speaker 1>I haven't done that first.

0:34:10.719 --> 0:34:14.359
<v Speaker 2>Yet, so I really feel every word of that, and

0:34:14.920 --> 0:34:18.719
<v Speaker 2>absolutely the first birthdays for coming out of that with

0:34:19.600 --> 0:34:22.560
<v Speaker 2>their interests at heart, like I really do mean, yeah.

0:34:22.440 --> 0:34:24.120
<v Speaker 3>I did go to bed. I was crying, Don't get

0:34:24.160 --> 0:34:26.240
<v Speaker 3>me wrong. Like I had a beautiful day with my partner,

0:34:26.239 --> 0:34:29.800
<v Speaker 3>but I was quiet because I'm just all like Christmas

0:34:29.880 --> 0:34:32.040
<v Speaker 3>is about your family, and like without them there, it

0:34:32.200 --> 0:34:36.799
<v Speaker 3>just felt different. And I went to bed just I

0:34:36.880 --> 0:34:38.759
<v Speaker 3>just had to go to bed early and kind of

0:34:38.800 --> 0:34:41.960
<v Speaker 3>cry and yes, go, okay, I did it. It's okay,

0:34:42.000 --> 0:34:44.239
<v Speaker 3>They're okay. They have the best day and that's all

0:34:44.280 --> 0:34:44.720
<v Speaker 3>that matters.

0:34:44.760 --> 0:34:45.840
<v Speaker 1>YEA, good on you.

0:34:46.520 --> 0:34:48.959
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I've had a few Christmases over the years

0:34:49.000 --> 0:34:49.960
<v Speaker 2>where there's been tears.

0:34:50.000 --> 0:34:52.960
<v Speaker 1>I think just because someone got into talking about Donald Trump.

0:34:53.000 --> 0:34:57.759
<v Speaker 3>Because of Christmas. Let's be honest. He never quite works

0:34:57.800 --> 0:34:58.960
<v Speaker 3>out how you think it's going to go.

0:35:00.000 --> 0:35:02.360
<v Speaker 2>Always think it's all going to be, and it's like,

0:35:02.520 --> 0:35:06.360
<v Speaker 2>oh now reality is intruded. So well then I wanted

0:35:06.800 --> 0:35:09.719
<v Speaker 2>also in that amazing conversation that with you and me,

0:35:09.760 --> 0:35:12.200
<v Speaker 2>and I'm pulling up with your quotes from last time

0:35:13.040 --> 0:35:16.680
<v Speaker 2>we spoke about you and Cam and the co parenting

0:35:16.719 --> 0:35:18.360
<v Speaker 2>in your two children, and then.

0:35:19.680 --> 0:35:21.640
<v Speaker 1>Really took me by surprise.

0:35:21.200 --> 0:35:23.160
<v Speaker 5>Because I didn't know about it to be by surprise

0:35:23.200 --> 0:35:25.560
<v Speaker 5>as well in the best person the way it took

0:35:25.600 --> 0:35:29.040
<v Speaker 5>me by surprise, I hope for yourself as well, where

0:35:29.080 --> 0:35:32.440
<v Speaker 5>of course you then opened up and you said, I'm

0:35:32.480 --> 0:35:35.040
<v Speaker 5>in a beautiful relationship with the woman who makes my

0:35:35.120 --> 0:35:37.760
<v Speaker 5>heart smile and makes me really happy.

0:35:38.560 --> 0:35:42.439
<v Speaker 1>You didn't identify your partner at the time, Pip. You've

0:35:42.480 --> 0:35:45.799
<v Speaker 1>since yeah, shared a little bit of your relationship with

0:35:45.840 --> 0:35:49.480
<v Speaker 1>Pip on your own platforms. But I really wanted to

0:35:49.640 --> 0:35:50.279
<v Speaker 1>just end our.

0:35:50.200 --> 0:35:52.759
<v Speaker 2>Conversation by going back to that moment, if you don't mind,

0:35:52.800 --> 0:35:56.640
<v Speaker 2>it was well, obviously it was a very profound moment

0:35:56.719 --> 0:35:59.560
<v Speaker 2>for you more than anyone. Only you can speak to

0:35:59.600 --> 0:36:02.319
<v Speaker 2>that I know for me as I've used the word

0:36:02.320 --> 0:36:04.600
<v Speaker 2>privilege I think twice in our conversation, but it was

0:36:04.800 --> 0:36:06.680
<v Speaker 2>a privilege like in the most not.

0:36:06.640 --> 0:36:09.759
<v Speaker 3>Really comfortable the truth. So you've always been so warm

0:36:09.800 --> 0:36:11.959
<v Speaker 3>and welcoming. I think that's why people come on your show,

0:36:12.000 --> 0:36:16.839
<v Speaker 3>but life felt very safe and talking to you about.

0:36:16.520 --> 0:36:19.759
<v Speaker 2>It, and then the response was was really huge and

0:36:20.239 --> 0:36:26.600
<v Speaker 2>at so many levels. Again, I obviously didn't see everything

0:36:26.760 --> 0:36:30.120
<v Speaker 2>and you'll have your own observations, but it just felt

0:36:30.200 --> 0:36:34.480
<v Speaker 2>so overwhelmingly positive. And I know even I was getting

0:36:34.480 --> 0:36:37.239
<v Speaker 2>correspond so I can only imagine what you got from

0:36:37.320 --> 0:36:40.920
<v Speaker 2>so many people that really felt seen from so many women,

0:36:41.719 --> 0:36:45.800
<v Speaker 2>from so many people in the lgbt Q A plus community.

0:36:46.120 --> 0:36:49.000
<v Speaker 1>How was that reaction for you over the months of.

0:36:49.320 --> 0:36:52.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, for the most part, it was quite astonishingly amazing.

0:36:53.160 --> 0:36:55.359
<v Speaker 3>You know, it did take me by surprise. And I

0:36:55.400 --> 0:36:58.479
<v Speaker 3>think what I've learned over this time is that I've

0:36:58.480 --> 0:37:00.120
<v Speaker 3>had you know, I have so many queer friends. I've

0:37:00.160 --> 0:37:02.240
<v Speaker 3>had many queer friends since I was very young.

0:37:02.160 --> 0:37:02.319
<v Speaker 2>But.

0:37:04.120 --> 0:37:06.960
<v Speaker 3>I think I had internalized homophobia myself, so I was

0:37:07.080 --> 0:37:10.120
<v Speaker 3>terrified about what people would say and think and feel.

0:37:09.360 --> 0:37:12.239
<v Speaker 3>And you know, it still pops up every now and then,

0:37:12.280 --> 0:37:15.440
<v Speaker 3>but that's just ingrained in growing up in a certain

0:37:15.440 --> 0:37:19.480
<v Speaker 3>time when you weren't allowed to be you know, so

0:37:19.640 --> 0:37:22.040
<v Speaker 3>much support. I mean, even when I'm doing Shirley, I

0:37:22.080 --> 0:37:23.400
<v Speaker 3>have women come up to be going.

0:37:23.440 --> 0:37:25.960
<v Speaker 4>Oh, story is the same as yours, Thank you so much,

0:37:25.960 --> 0:37:28.719
<v Speaker 4>and I'm like, oh, okay, no worries, you know, like

0:37:28.760 --> 0:37:31.560
<v Speaker 4>it's it's at the end of the day, it's just

0:37:31.920 --> 0:37:37.800
<v Speaker 4>nice to be real and honest and not have fear

0:37:37.960 --> 0:37:41.120
<v Speaker 4>around it. It doesn't mean I don't get scared sometimes,

0:37:41.160 --> 0:37:44.239
<v Speaker 4>but that debilitating fear has gone.

0:37:45.840 --> 0:37:50.160
<v Speaker 3>And it's beautiful. Like, yeah, I just I feel you know,

0:37:50.200 --> 0:37:54.879
<v Speaker 3>I feel hurt, I feel safe, I feel connected. Peop

0:37:54.960 --> 0:37:57.960
<v Speaker 3>is an extraordinary human, you know, and they've made me

0:37:58.000 --> 0:38:00.040
<v Speaker 3>a better one and they get me more than I

0:38:00.120 --> 0:38:03.560
<v Speaker 3>understand myself. I'm like, how do you stop being so

0:38:03.800 --> 0:38:06.879
<v Speaker 3>right about me? I didn't you know, it's really it's yeah,

0:38:06.920 --> 0:38:10.320
<v Speaker 3>it's been the wildest time in my life and it's beautiful.

0:38:10.719 --> 0:38:12.279
<v Speaker 1>How are they feeling about it? Then?

0:38:12.320 --> 0:38:14.920
<v Speaker 2>Because obviously you have been in the spotlight for a

0:38:15.000 --> 0:38:19.320
<v Speaker 2>very long time, and when you decided to go public

0:38:19.360 --> 0:38:24.239
<v Speaker 2>about the relationship, I know that separate from anything that

0:38:24.520 --> 0:38:27.360
<v Speaker 2>I was privy to that obviously you were very mindful

0:38:27.560 --> 0:38:33.239
<v Speaker 2>of bringing PIP into it, knowing that the whole scrutiny

0:38:33.360 --> 0:38:36.759
<v Speaker 2>and exposure that they would be opened up to. How

0:38:36.800 --> 0:38:37.839
<v Speaker 2>are they doing six?

0:38:38.040 --> 0:38:40.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and look, we probably need to explain why we're

0:38:40.960 --> 0:38:43.799
<v Speaker 3>saying they because they identify as non binary, so they them, Yeah,

0:38:43.800 --> 0:38:48.319
<v Speaker 3>they they're not. They're a shy human, you know. And

0:38:48.400 --> 0:38:51.719
<v Speaker 3>I think the thought of it all was incredibly terrifying.

0:38:53.480 --> 0:38:58.520
<v Speaker 3>At the time, we had, you know, photographers trying to

0:38:58.600 --> 0:39:01.800
<v Speaker 3>find out where lived and trying to get that first

0:39:01.800 --> 0:39:05.440
<v Speaker 3>photograph of Verse. And they even went to another friend

0:39:05.640 --> 0:39:08.880
<v Speaker 3>of mine's house and followed them for days, thinking that

0:39:08.960 --> 0:39:12.719
<v Speaker 3>one of them was my partner. And it was really intrusive.

0:39:12.880 --> 0:39:15.120
<v Speaker 3>You know, they would park the car out the front

0:39:15.160 --> 0:39:16.759
<v Speaker 3>and they've got a little boy, and then they made

0:39:16.760 --> 0:39:20.200
<v Speaker 3>this story up about that was my girlfriend and that

0:39:20.680 --> 0:39:23.239
<v Speaker 3>it was. It was awful. And but do you know what,

0:39:23.400 --> 0:39:26.319
<v Speaker 3>they bought us some time because Pitt was terrified, and

0:39:26.360 --> 0:39:28.160
<v Speaker 3>they just said, we're happy to hold them at bay

0:39:28.200 --> 0:39:32.279
<v Speaker 3>for you, like they this article wrote, but this was

0:39:32.320 --> 0:39:35.239
<v Speaker 3>my partner and they didn't confirm or deny, but it

0:39:35.440 --> 0:39:38.399
<v Speaker 3>just it gave us time to like go, oh my god,

0:39:38.440 --> 0:39:40.759
<v Speaker 3>it's gonna happen soon. It's they're gonna you know. But

0:39:40.800 --> 0:39:43.960
<v Speaker 3>they they even knocked on my door my house and

0:39:44.000 --> 0:39:45.600
<v Speaker 3>I at the time was living on an acre and

0:39:45.640 --> 0:39:47.600
<v Speaker 3>a half. So they came down the pathway and knocked

0:39:47.640 --> 0:39:50.680
<v Speaker 3>on the door and said, you know, can you and

0:39:50.719 --> 0:39:53.239
<v Speaker 3>I said, you're not well, came in my home. This

0:39:53.280 --> 0:39:55.319
<v Speaker 3>is my home, please leave, And again I think we

0:39:55.320 --> 0:39:58.240
<v Speaker 3>were talking about this, there are kids involved in this story.

0:39:58.840 --> 0:40:00.959
<v Speaker 3>This is this is more important, and then anyone don't

0:40:01.040 --> 0:40:04.359
<v Speaker 3>hurt my children no matter what. So look, that whole

0:40:04.400 --> 0:40:08.240
<v Speaker 3>time was incredibly tough. We got through it. We're actually

0:40:08.480 --> 0:40:11.320
<v Speaker 3>so fine now. It's just like, wow, how did again?

0:40:11.360 --> 0:40:14.480
<v Speaker 3>It's like looking back and thinking how intense that was

0:40:14.560 --> 0:40:18.520
<v Speaker 3>and scary and debilitating and all of that, and now

0:40:18.640 --> 0:40:22.000
<v Speaker 3>just to feel so happy and content. And you know,

0:40:22.880 --> 0:40:26.480
<v Speaker 3>there's a line in Shirley Valentine and I think of

0:40:26.560 --> 0:40:29.040
<v Speaker 3>Pip every night and it says, you know, when you

0:40:29.080 --> 0:40:33.880
<v Speaker 3>meet someone and they they like you, they sort of

0:40:33.880 --> 0:40:37.359
<v Speaker 3>approve of you, you start to grow again, you start

0:40:37.400 --> 0:40:39.200
<v Speaker 3>to move in the right ways and say the right

0:40:39.239 --> 0:40:41.200
<v Speaker 3>things at the right time. And I just think of

0:40:41.560 --> 0:40:43.960
<v Speaker 3>every time because that's exactly how they've made me feel.

0:40:43.960 --> 0:40:47.080
<v Speaker 3>They've made me feel hurt and loved and and they're

0:40:47.120 --> 0:40:48.600
<v Speaker 3>the kindest human I've ever met.

0:40:48.640 --> 0:40:52.360
<v Speaker 2>So oh nah, Yeah, Well, I know I said to

0:40:52.400 --> 0:40:55.080
<v Speaker 2>you at the time, I was really happy for you,

0:40:55.160 --> 0:41:00.920
<v Speaker 2>and I'm so happy that that feeling that you could

0:41:01.000 --> 0:41:03.560
<v Speaker 2>speak your truth as you described it at the time

0:41:03.600 --> 0:41:05.920
<v Speaker 2>has brought the lightness.

0:41:05.600 --> 0:41:07.880
<v Speaker 1>No joy that it should.

0:41:08.160 --> 0:41:10.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, because that does cover up a lot of feelings

0:41:10.920 --> 0:41:14.560
<v Speaker 3>because you're just living in this anxiety space for a

0:41:14.680 --> 0:41:17.520
<v Speaker 3>very long time that you feel like there's love with

0:41:17.600 --> 0:41:20.560
<v Speaker 3>this person, but you're also terrified to fully let go

0:41:20.640 --> 0:41:24.080
<v Speaker 3>and be that vulnerable, you know, And now that all

0:41:24.120 --> 0:41:26.520
<v Speaker 3>of that's gone, I can completely do that and be

0:41:26.640 --> 0:41:27.920
<v Speaker 3>that and I am that. You know.

0:41:28.280 --> 0:41:32.520
<v Speaker 2>That's fantastic and also what a great friend to allow

0:41:32.600 --> 0:41:36.440
<v Speaker 2>themselves to be the decoy, if you like, just to

0:41:36.520 --> 0:41:38.759
<v Speaker 2>keep the pesky perhaps at Bay.

0:41:38.920 --> 0:41:41.480
<v Speaker 3>I mean they eventually, they were so hard on them

0:41:41.520 --> 0:41:43.360
<v Speaker 3>that they eventually had They called me and said we

0:41:43.400 --> 0:41:45.840
<v Speaker 3>can't have We're like, that's fine, just tell them to

0:41:45.840 --> 0:41:47.760
<v Speaker 3>go away, and you're not the right person.

0:41:49.600 --> 0:41:51.239
<v Speaker 1>It has been so wonderful to speak to you.

0:41:51.360 --> 0:41:53.560
<v Speaker 2>I hopefully will speak to you again later in the year,

0:41:53.640 --> 0:41:57.399
<v Speaker 2>because I believe in all your spare time, when you're

0:41:57.440 --> 0:42:01.000
<v Speaker 2>not touring the country working on me, be another project,

0:42:01.760 --> 0:42:03.120
<v Speaker 2>redoing Voodoo.

0:42:02.800 --> 0:42:07.280
<v Speaker 1>Child, having beautiful relationship to children, kind of a busy life.

0:42:07.600 --> 0:42:11.040
<v Speaker 1>You might be writing a memoir. It's just a tiny.

0:42:11.239 --> 0:42:16.120
<v Speaker 3>It's the thing that's happened since meeting pip Is. I

0:42:16.200 --> 0:42:19.800
<v Speaker 3>remembered how much I used to read poetry and listen

0:42:19.840 --> 0:42:24.359
<v Speaker 3>to music and be that that woman with a big

0:42:24.400 --> 0:42:27.200
<v Speaker 3>open heart. You know, I'd kind of shut her down

0:42:27.280 --> 0:42:30.600
<v Speaker 3>for a long time. And I was asked a few

0:42:30.640 --> 0:42:32.239
<v Speaker 3>years ago to write a memoir and I was like,

0:42:32.280 --> 0:42:34.880
<v Speaker 3>hell no, I don't want anyone knowing my deepest, darkest secret.

0:42:34.920 --> 0:42:38.920
<v Speaker 3>It's no way. And then since all of this and

0:42:39.000 --> 0:42:42.520
<v Speaker 3>just rediscovering myself, not just in relationship with my girlfriend,

0:42:42.560 --> 0:42:45.600
<v Speaker 3>but just myself, you know, like, who am I same

0:42:45.640 --> 0:42:49.160
<v Speaker 3>as Shirley? Like who is this person? Where I used

0:42:49.160 --> 0:42:51.800
<v Speaker 3>to be this person? And she's coming back to life again.

0:42:51.920 --> 0:42:55.160
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to be her, you know, I want

0:42:55.200 --> 0:42:57.520
<v Speaker 3>to be right here where I'm at. And I went,

0:42:57.640 --> 0:43:01.359
<v Speaker 3>I think I'm ready and I've started, and I yeah,

0:43:01.440 --> 0:43:03.560
<v Speaker 3>it's it's been the wildest ride so far. I had

0:43:03.600 --> 0:43:06.160
<v Speaker 3>to like put it aside when I got Shirley because

0:43:06.200 --> 0:43:08.359
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, I can't learn forty pages of dialogue and

0:43:08.400 --> 0:43:10.040
<v Speaker 3>write a book at the same time and try and

0:43:10.080 --> 0:43:14.040
<v Speaker 3>be a good parent and son mail a Liverpool accent.

0:43:14.160 --> 0:43:16.560
<v Speaker 3>So I put it to the side for a minute.

0:43:16.560 --> 0:43:18.799
<v Speaker 3>But now I know all the dialogue and I'm form

0:43:18.880 --> 0:43:23.080
<v Speaker 3>the show. Yeah even yesterday, like I two days ago,

0:43:23.160 --> 0:43:25.319
<v Speaker 3>I closed the show in Melbourne and the next day,

0:43:25.360 --> 0:43:28.160
<v Speaker 3>I was that full inspiration and I'm writing like there's

0:43:28.160 --> 0:43:31.000
<v Speaker 3>no tomorrow, and I can't wait to share it because

0:43:31.080 --> 0:43:34.960
<v Speaker 3>I've had a full life. It's it's been. There's probably

0:43:35.000 --> 0:43:37.440
<v Speaker 3>more in there that people have no idea about. And

0:43:37.440 --> 0:43:41.120
<v Speaker 3>that's what I mean. Like life can be terrifying, life

0:43:41.160 --> 0:43:44.000
<v Speaker 3>can be full of fear, life can shut you down,

0:43:44.040 --> 0:43:48.400
<v Speaker 3>but it also can be beautiful and exciting. And you know,

0:43:48.520 --> 0:43:50.880
<v Speaker 3>like I want to I want to write something that

0:43:50.920 --> 0:43:54.120
<v Speaker 3>when I read books like the gena chic memoir is

0:43:54.160 --> 0:43:57.239
<v Speaker 3>like beyond you know, like I love a biography, but

0:43:57.360 --> 0:44:00.480
<v Speaker 3>like all these women like I love you know, Glenn Doyle,

0:44:00.560 --> 0:44:03.160
<v Speaker 3>and I love Brennie Brown, and like all of these

0:44:03.560 --> 0:44:07.280
<v Speaker 3>empowering women that have inspired me to tell my story

0:44:07.360 --> 0:44:10.000
<v Speaker 3>and to tell it with vulnerability and strength. I'm ready

0:44:10.000 --> 0:44:10.160
<v Speaker 3>for that.

0:44:10.880 --> 0:44:12.839
<v Speaker 1>Well I'm ready for it too. I am ready to

0:44:13.000 --> 0:44:16.120
<v Speaker 1>read it. So I cannot wait. Watch this space.

0:44:16.600 --> 0:44:19.759
<v Speaker 2>All the best with everything that you have going on

0:44:19.920 --> 0:44:23.719
<v Speaker 2>at the moment. Really lovely to have you back here

0:44:23.800 --> 0:44:27.840
<v Speaker 2>in something to talk about. Studio Natt and Shirley Valentine

0:44:27.880 --> 0:44:30.440
<v Speaker 2>will open at Her Majesty's Theater in Adelaide on the

0:44:30.440 --> 0:44:33.439
<v Speaker 2>first of April and no, I mean huge success again.

0:44:33.480 --> 0:44:37.200
<v Speaker 2>It was genuinely a triumphant season in Melbourne, so I mean,

0:44:37.320 --> 0:44:38.600
<v Speaker 2>just just get it to Sydney.

0:44:39.600 --> 0:44:41.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think they're trying to lock something in so

0:44:41.440 --> 0:44:42.240
<v Speaker 3>watch this space.

0:44:42.600 --> 0:44:44.120
<v Speaker 1>Thanks again, Matt, Thank you.

0:44:44.480 --> 0:44:47.800
<v Speaker 2>Shirley Valentine will open at Her Majesty's Theater in Adelaide

0:44:47.880 --> 0:44:50.719
<v Speaker 2>on first of April for eight performances only, and you

0:44:50.760 --> 0:44:53.680
<v Speaker 2>can find more information in our show notes. You can

0:44:53.719 --> 0:44:55.759
<v Speaker 2>also find a link in our show notes to watch

0:44:55.760 --> 0:44:59.200
<v Speaker 2>a video of this stellar podcast on YouTube. Thank you

0:44:59.239 --> 0:44:59.879
<v Speaker 2>for joining me.

0:44:59.800 --> 0:45:02.000
<v Speaker 1>To I hope you enjoyed this episode

0:45:02.120 --> 0:45:04.440
<v Speaker 2>And if you're not following us already, make sure to

0:45:04.480 --> 0:45:07.160
<v Speaker 2>hit the follow button because we'll be back with another

0:45:07.239 --> 0:45:10.040
<v Speaker 2>exclusive guest on Something to Talk About next week