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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Fitzi and Whipper podcast.

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Speaker 2: October is pregnancy and Infant Loss, a weeness month, and

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Speaker 2: we've got a lovely couple in here who are going

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Speaker 2: to tell us a bit a little bit about their journey.

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Speaker 2: Ali and Daniel. Welcome to the Fitzi and Whipper Show.

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Speaker 3: Hey, guys, how does it feel being in here?

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Speaker 2: It's a bit different their daily life.

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Speaker 3: It was probably playing on your mind last night when

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Speaker 3: you were lying in bed, thinking, oh, this is this

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Speaker 3: is one It's a hard topic to talk about. Secondly,

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Speaker 3: when you have your own personal journey that you've been through,

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Speaker 3: do you want to start by going back to I

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Speaker 3: think twenty fifteen, which is when you guys started.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so we obviously, like every young new married couple,

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Speaker 4: wanted to start a family and it's always been sort

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Speaker 4: of the plan. But when we got married, I had

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Speaker 4: a thyroid disorder which we needed to take a few

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Speaker 4: years to get under control. From twenty fifteen it finally happened,

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Speaker 4: so we got the get go to start trying and

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Speaker 4: funnily enough got pregnant really really quickly straight away, but

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Speaker 4: sadly it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy, so.

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Speaker 2: You've had two ectopic pregnancies, yes, yeah, what about the

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Speaker 2: rest of your journey trying to have a little one?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so then there was a lot of time that

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Speaker 4: you spend after something like that. You spooked, so you

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Speaker 4: don't try for a little while, of course. So we

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Speaker 4: took a bit of time off and you know, tried

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Speaker 4: to get our bearings back and then we tried again,

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Speaker 4: which took a little bit of time to get there.

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Speaker 4: But we ended up having two miscarriages, one in twenty eighteen,

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Speaker 4: one in twenty twenty one, I believe, yes, So that

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Speaker 4: was a bit of a you know, a bit of

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Speaker 4: a journey as well. One happened over Christmas. The other

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Speaker 4: one was relatively straightforward. It was a very straightforward miscarriage.

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Speaker 4: But no matter how straightforward, it's always.

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Speaker 3: Sad Ali And this was all naturally.

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Speaker 4: Ah, yes, though they were all naturally. So my fourth

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Speaker 4: loss was just the beginning of this year. Another topic.

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Speaker 4: That one was treated surgically, so again quite early.

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Speaker 2: But what this does to you mentally? Ye? Don't you

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Speaker 2: have there any answers from the doctors? Do they know?

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Speaker 2: Why can they give you any answers for this? Or

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Speaker 2: there's none at all?

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Speaker 1: We're very lucky in that we do have a very

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Speaker 1: good fertility specialist on our side. So well, she's not

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Speaker 1: ready to give up, and neither are we. As for

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Speaker 1: what the definite answer is, we're not really sure at

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Speaker 1: this stage. It's just a question of, you know, getting

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Speaker 1: your numbers right. Really, I guess yes, so I think

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Speaker 1: as I'll have to continue the story. Our most recent

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Speaker 1: attempt was IVF, which we did that back in I

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Speaker 1: think it was July August, I think it was. That's

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Speaker 1: the one, and unfortunately it just story short, it didn't take.

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Speaker 4: This didn't take.

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Speaker 2: You've had family trauma as well. Your mum got cancer?

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Speaker 2: Is that correct?

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Speaker 4: Oh? So, yeah, my mom. So when we had one

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Speaker 4: of our miscarriages, the day that I found out that

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Speaker 4: I was pregnant, my mum patiter in cancer. Wow, that

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Speaker 4: she's fine. So she's a double cancer survivor. She's a

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Speaker 4: bit of a hero.

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Speaker 2: And then, Daniel, you received some news about your mom.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it would have been early twenty twenty one. Well,

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Speaker 1: mum had been ill for some time. We weren't sure

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Speaker 1: what it was, and then yeah, it was I think

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Speaker 1: it was January February twenty twenty one. They delivered the

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Speaker 1: news that it was motor your own disease, which unfortunately

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Speaker 1: culminated in her death in February this year.

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Speaker 3: Dan, I'm sorry, buddy, you, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2: What a rough road.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean, the interesting, for want of a better

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Speaker 1: term word, is that we so she passed away in February.

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Speaker 1: We had the funeral about a week later, and literally

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Speaker 1: the day after the funeral, we drove home from Swansea

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Speaker 1: where the funeral was hell where my parents were living,

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Speaker 1: and that's when we found out about that we were

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Speaker 1: pregnant with the one that well, we were hoping it'd

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Speaker 1: be the one we thought because we thought it's just

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Speaker 1: after Mamma died, she was written for us, she wanted

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Speaker 1: us to have that baby. We thought, there's no way

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Speaker 1: that this can't be Mum. This has got to be Mum.

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Speaker 2: On it look it over.

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Speaker 1: Yes. Unfortunately, well, whether it actually was or not, we'll

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Speaker 1: never know, but yeah, sadly it didn't happen. I'm afraid

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Speaker 1: that was the second deck topic.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure with a run of bad luck like this,

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Speaker 3: you're probably sitting there thinking why why is the complication?

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Speaker 3: Especially when it comes to pregnancy with there's so many

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Speaker 3: variables there is, so you can't just go well, it's

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Speaker 3: that thing that's not making it work, or that part's

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Speaker 3: not here. You know, there's so many unknown things, which

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Speaker 3: adds to the frustration that can.

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Speaker 2: Be so draining me, not just mentally, but obviously financially

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Speaker 2: as well. It's so expensive. You know what, we love.

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Speaker 2: We love your attitude, We love that you the way

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Speaker 2: that you guys are approaching this. My wife and I

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Speaker 2: we lost a child. It's amazing. And I didn't know

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Speaker 2: the statistic that one in three women do miscarriage. And

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Speaker 2: you know what, and anyone, if you know someone family

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Speaker 2: or friends in your life, someone probably would have gone

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Speaker 2: through that before that happened to us once. We were

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Speaker 2: lucky as well where it strengthened our relationship. I can't

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Speaker 2: imagine what you guys have been through six times for

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Speaker 2: this to happen. But you are so positive and the

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Speaker 2: way that you guys look at each other and when

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Speaker 2: you walked in here is really inspiring and we want

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Speaker 2: to thank you guys for doing that. So obviously it's

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Speaker 2: a very special month and you guys think that you're

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Speaker 2: here for the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, but

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Speaker 2: where just here to tell you guys that we've got

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Speaker 2: your back. We want to help you with the IVF journey.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so on behalf of the fitting with a show.

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Speaker 2: We want to give you ten thousand dollars that goes

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Speaker 2: towards that.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so very much.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, what does that mean to you allie?

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Speaker 2: Oh sorry, pull myself together.

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Speaker 4: A lot. It's it's a hard journey, you know well

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Speaker 4: obviously emotionally and physically, and then the financial burdens hard.

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Speaker 4: Particularly We've done around and you know, all that money

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Speaker 4: and then nothing happens and you're like, ask, isn't it Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I know it's not a waste of money, but it

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Speaker 4: feels a bit like oh okay, and then there's a

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Speaker 4: medications and everything else.

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Speaker 2: For you guys to be so positive the whole time,

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Speaker 2: and we are so confident that you're going to get

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Speaker 2: there one day and be the most amazing parents. We

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Speaker 2: wanted to help you out and I know it's only

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Speaker 2: financially and it's only a little bit, but it's it's

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Speaker 2: hopefully a long way that you guys can finally become

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Speaker 2: under that.

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Speaker 1: It's a huge help. Thank you, Thank you.

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Speaker 3: So much always because I suppose you take comfort in

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Speaker 3: the fact that you look around and you go, hey,

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Speaker 3: this does work.

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Speaker 1: Our nephew and nieces are well one of them. Our

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Speaker 1: nephew is IVF and at least one of our nieces

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Speaker 1: is IVF too, so we know that it work. Fantastic children.

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Speaker 1: So that's been inspirational for us along the journeys.

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Speaker 2: So you guys are going to be great parents.

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Speaker 1: You'll thank you.

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Speaker 3: And you know when you're walking into the lounge room

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Speaker 3: in five years time and you're tripping over and.

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Speaker 1: You've cut your foot for the second time, we will

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Speaker 1: face all of that out of us.

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Speaker 2: And then in fifteen years, can you come and pick

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Speaker 2: me up at two o'clock in the morning from this party.

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Speaker 1: It'll be payback for when I was that age, that's

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Speaker 1: for sure.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming in. Guys, you are

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Speaker 2: you are inspiring and keep getting the message out there

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Speaker 2: and staying positive. But we appreciate your time.

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Speaker 1: Well, Thank you so much, guy.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for sharing.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to the FITZI and Whippo podcast.