Speaker 1: I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.
Speaker 2: She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of
Speaker 2: my kissing style.
Speaker 1: With the boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's
Speaker 1: in a trash bin. He's non recyclable. Catching him up.
Speaker 2: I love being love. I love love.
Speaker 1: Where's Your Head At Is a podcast that talks all
Speaker 1: things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.
Speaker 2: This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,
Speaker 2: intimate details, advice, and much more.
Speaker 1: Hello everyone, Hello, It's a bit of a sumber mood
Speaker 1: in the podcast studio today, isn't it. Matt?
Speaker 2: Yeah, So again, been holding off and doing an episode
Speaker 2: like this for a while. Obviously, I guess like when
Speaker 2: you're not at one part of this journey, I've been
Speaker 2: on your sort of of healing and recovering, So jumping
Speaker 2: on here and talking about it is just going to
Speaker 2: open up wounds that you're obviously trying to and obviously
Speaker 2: nothing has been healed yet, so it's still opening up wounds.
Speaker 2: So see how we go. But yeah, Jen and I
Speaker 2: have broken up. It's sad. I guess we broke up
Speaker 2: for pretty much the reason we've been on and off
Speaker 2: since late last year. We were giving it another go.
Speaker 2: I across boundaries that I disrespected her in ways that
Speaker 2: look I'm not proud of it. And when I actually
Speaker 2: it sounds like I cheated on her or something that
Speaker 2: nothing like that happened. It was nothing like that. It
Speaker 2: was more just in a way I wasn't loyal to
Speaker 2: her in situations that I should have been. I definitely
Speaker 2: lost my way. I think that I was brought into
Speaker 2: cultures that are a younger version of me, and I
Speaker 2: should have been more true to who I am now
Speaker 2: and not Yeah, not done that stuff. And obviously it
Speaker 2: was too much for both of us, mostly her, and
Speaker 2: she broke up with me. Yeah, but I'd like to
Speaker 2: apologize to everyone that I haven't been speaking. I haven't
Speaker 2: been open about it. I guess that like when so
Speaker 2: for like a couple of months, you're obviously healing, you're
Speaker 2: trying to get through it, you're trying to you're trying
Speaker 2: to get like an understanding of the situation and not talking,
Speaker 2: and obviously that's hard. We all know how hard going
Speaker 2: no communication is. But then we got to a point
Speaker 2: where we were like, okay, let's like catch up. And
Speaker 2: chat and then we've been chatting ever since, so like
Speaker 2: it's like, well, what do I come on here and
Speaker 2: say we've broken up and now we're chatting? Like you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. It's just sort of like I
Speaker 2: said in the last one, how do I try and
Speaker 2: explain what's happening when I don't know what's happening? You
Speaker 2: know what I mean? I'm confused. So if you guys
Speaker 2: are confused, I'm as confused as you are, if not
Speaker 2: more confused. Yeah, but I realized that I have not power,
Speaker 2: but the responsibility and the due diligence to come on
Speaker 2: this podcast and explain my situation. A couple of a
Speaker 2: couple of weeks ago, like just over a week ago,
Speaker 2: this bloke walked into the sauna and I and I
Speaker 2: called you afterwards, and I was pretty rattled.
Speaker 1: And that was so rattled. He was like, the craziest
Speaker 1: thing has just happened to me.
Speaker 2: I actually sat in my car for like ten minutes
Speaker 2: and just like cried to myself a little bit. So
Speaker 2: this guy walked in and I noticed him straightway. I
Speaker 2: don't like talking to people in the sauna. I just hate,
Speaker 2: I hate I just want to get in there and
Speaker 2: meditate to my own see metimes. Yeah, it's me time.
Speaker 2: But he walked in and I noticed him as he
Speaker 2: walked in because I looked at his like the way
Speaker 2: his frame was, and I was like, shit, that that
Speaker 2: reminds me of like a younger version of myself. Like
Speaker 2: if he just you know, lifted a bit heavier, we
Speaker 2: could he could come to where I am. Like, I
Speaker 2: just I saw myself in the way he looked straight away,
Speaker 2: like tall, broad shoulders. And then he came and like
Speaker 2: I think he saw me look at him. And then
Speaker 2: he came and sat like slightly near him, and like
Speaker 2: I could tell he was to get my attention. He
Speaker 2: kept like looking at me, looking at me, and I
Speaker 2: made eye contact and he's like you're Matt right, and
Speaker 2: I'm like yeah yeah, And he goes, oh, I listened
Speaker 2: to your podcast. I love it. He goes, do you
Speaker 2: have like, do you have any advice for me? My
Speaker 2: girlfriend just broke up with me. She said we're on
Speaker 2: different life paths, different journeys. And I was like shit,
Speaker 2: I was like fuck. I was like I was a
Speaker 2: bit relevant. I was like she's and I was like mate,
Speaker 2: I was like, to be honest, man, I'm like, I
Speaker 2: haven't said this on the podcast, but like I'm literally
Speaker 2: in the same thing. My girlfriend Jen broke up with
Speaker 2: me for practically around the same reason. And I was like, look,
Speaker 2: I don't know what to advise you because I'm confused.
Speaker 2: I was like, and I just the more I spoke
Speaker 2: to him, the more I realized that, like so like
Speaker 2: just a list of points, went to the same school
Speaker 2: as me. He's in sales like me, he's like tall
Speaker 2: at me, he just quit football, like his mom had
Speaker 2: the same job as me, his parents got divorced at
Speaker 2: the same age me, like an oversharer like me, Like
Speaker 2: was just literally the ticking all these things like me.
Speaker 2: And I was like, fuck, Like it was really fronting
Speaker 2: seeing myself in him, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like I saw a younger version of myself and I
Speaker 2: was like, fuck, Like what advice do I give him?
Speaker 2: I just gave him the advice of like, man if
Speaker 2: I was just like, if you want this girl back
Speaker 2: and you see a futuree with her, like go for it.
Speaker 2: But like if like she's broken up with you to
Speaker 2: like because she doesn't see that. I was like, well,
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do, Like I don't know,
Speaker 2: Like I didn't know, and I was a bit confronted
Speaker 2: by that, wasn't I. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Matt like literally called me crying and was like, I
Speaker 1: know this sounds crazy, but I've just spoken to the
Speaker 1: younger version of me. And I was like, okay, like
Speaker 1: what does that mean? Yeah, and like when you explained
Speaker 1: it more like I understood like what you were kind
Speaker 1: of talking about. But it's so weird that just after
Speaker 1: your breakup that had happened to you, because it was
Speaker 1: like it was just like almost like a sign from
Speaker 1: the universe.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that you kind.
Speaker 1: Of like you almost needed to see your younger self,
Speaker 1: and it's like, what advice do you do you want?
Speaker 1: Like what do you want for the younger version of you?
Speaker 2: I also tell him as well. I told him as
Speaker 2: well because he was sort of like so he was
Speaker 2: like twenty one, and he was like, you know, she
Speaker 2: wants me to be doing this and he's like, I've
Speaker 2: very bought property, like she wants a house, and I
Speaker 2: was like to myself, I was like, dude, I was like,
Speaker 2: slow the fuck damn. I when I was your age,
Speaker 2: I didn't have any like it like spy house or
Speaker 2: do that. Yeah, I wasn't in a rush to do that.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I'm really grateful I wasn't. I
Speaker 2: wasn't ready for that stuff then. And I'm like, and
Speaker 2: if you're not ready, and he's like, but I am,
Speaker 2: And I'm like, but is that what she wants you
Speaker 2: to believe? Is that what she's trying to make you
Speaker 2: think you're ready? And I was like, just stay true
Speaker 2: to what you want. And I was like, when I
Speaker 2: was twenty one, I was like on my second year
Speaker 2: of modeling overseas, you know, like I was blowing each paycheck.
Speaker 2: I got on going out and having fun and living
Speaker 2: my life. And I'm in a situation now where I've
Speaker 2: grown up and I'm obviously like, you know, I've got
Speaker 2: I can look at the stuff that he's looking at,
Speaker 2: but I don't rush it, mate, Like if that's what
Speaker 2: she wants, that's not your timeline, Like do you, like
Speaker 2: stay true to yourself. I wish I'd given him better advice.
Speaker 2: But like when you when people say, like you're meeting
Speaker 2: your younger self, like what would you say to him? Fuck?
Speaker 2: Like when you actually get the chance to, like, you
Speaker 2: freeze up and you don't know what to say because it's.
Speaker 1: Pretty like confronting. Yeah, seeing someone and he's probably listening
Speaker 1: to this episode right now, so high to him. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it was a very very odd timing. But we also
Speaker 1: believe in the power of the universe and that the
Speaker 1: universe is always like trying to teach us a lesson, like, yeah.
Speaker 2: We're talking about science, and like a lot of signs.
Speaker 2: Through the last couple of months, I've gotten a lot
Speaker 2: of signs on like what like if I should move on,
Speaker 2: and then I've got more signs that I shouldn't. I
Speaker 2: should work on it. Like it's really hard and it's
Speaker 2: like what scigence do you look at? What do you
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Also a reason that I
Speaker 2: haven't really jumped on the podcast and wanted to express
Speaker 2: such a gloomy topic and talk about this is obviously
Speaker 2: you've been going through such like milestones in your life
Speaker 2: and your engagement in that, and like I didn't, like,
Speaker 2: I'm happy for you guys are seeing all that and
Speaker 2: it's magical, but I didn't want to jump on here
Speaker 2: and like you know, have like an extreme high of
Speaker 2: like you're engagement, and then we come down to what
Speaker 2: I'm going through, and I didn't want to be selfish
Speaker 2: about it and take away from what you're going through.
Speaker 1: It's not selfish. And we've had this conversation like, at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, I've been through like the
Speaker 1: worst relationships ever and they've been horrendous, and now I'm
Speaker 1: in a really, really happy place. But this is like,
Speaker 1: you know, this isn't the norm for me, Like I
Speaker 1: have been through like the worst of worse times, and
Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, you're going through a hard
Speaker 1: time and you can help a lot of people who
Speaker 1: are listening who might be also going through a hard
Speaker 1: time because being super happy, Yeah, it's amazing, but like
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of people out there who
Speaker 1: can relate much more to what you're going through.
Speaker 2: Because we wouldn't have started this podcast asked if dating
Speaker 2: was easy and relationships were easy, So we're not gonna
Speaker 2: come on here and say they are. There's definitely a
Speaker 2: lot of trials and tribulation, and I don't make it
Speaker 2: much better for myself obviously, I've I've had a lot
Speaker 2: in my life of like what I always thought, I
Speaker 2: just I knew, So how how else at the times
Speaker 2: I knew that I wasn't not hate the word normal.
Speaker 2: But I was different, Like the way I thought, the
Speaker 2: way I looked at things was different. And my mates
Speaker 2: would always say, I would not want to spend you know,
Speaker 2: five minutes in Matt's head, like it just it would
Speaker 2: be fun.
Speaker 1: Why because you overthink?
Speaker 2: I think everything I don't have, Like I just would
Speaker 2: get anxious about staff, like a lot of like I
Speaker 2: feel emotions, like I think anyone that knows me knows
Speaker 2: how much I feel emotions and how much I feel
Speaker 2: sad is and how much I feel happiness.
Speaker 1: And I kind of love that about you because you're
Speaker 1: very open and raw with how you feel.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well a lot of my mates do, like they
Speaker 2: love that about you, but they just said like they
Speaker 2: wouldn't want to be me. And I know a lot
Speaker 2: of my mates as well, Like just the way I
Speaker 2: am it was so different to everyone, and I think
Speaker 2: that it was just like, oh, that's Matt, that's how
Speaker 2: Matt is. And I remember when I was younger, I
Speaker 2: was like these like ups and downs. I'm like, I
Speaker 2: shouldn't be like they shouldn't come as quickly as they do.
Speaker 2: I shouldn't feel so down when I'm down and so
Speaker 2: up when I'm up like Internet. I was like, is
Speaker 2: this like bipolar? I was like, is this what it is?
Speaker 1: So I remember you told me that you thought you
Speaker 1: had bipolar at one point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I well, I went and saw a psychiatrist
Speaker 2: and they diagnosed me with bipolar and severe anxiety. And
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, fair enough, Like I've just
Speaker 2: spoken you for two hours, that's what you think? Like
Speaker 2: it is? You know what I mean? My mum always
Speaker 2: to get a second opinion, but I was like, look
Speaker 2: is what it is. Like she prescribed me different medications
Speaker 2: for it, so I went on one. I did like
Speaker 2: the full three months for it to work. I just
Speaker 2: never found them ever like doing much for me, Like
Speaker 2: they just literally just made me feel drowsy. And I
Speaker 2: was like like this stuff isn't this isn't like it's
Speaker 2: not for me. I know more I read up on
Speaker 2: I poll her.
Speaker 1: I was sort of like, like, you didn't really fit
Speaker 1: the bell.
Speaker 2: I didn't really fit it completely. Like they said that
Speaker 2: it's more like manic sort of depressions, like they go
Speaker 2: for a couple of weeks and you come up and
Speaker 2: that's not it. And I was like, no, that's not me.
Speaker 2: I was like I go like a like a like
Speaker 2: what Jen said, it was like a fucking rollercoaster with me,
Speaker 2: like one minute on Cloud nine and I'm just down.
Speaker 2: And I was like, so I don't think that was me.
Speaker 2: So I sort of like left it for a couple
Speaker 2: of months. I sort of brought it up with Jen
Speaker 2: when she was like, like she said the roll the
Speaker 2: roller coaster story, and I was like, we just spoke
Speaker 2: about it, and then it took her saying so I
Speaker 2: met one of her friends and then like her friend
Speaker 2: saw how I was and all that sort of stuff,
Speaker 2: and then her and her friend got lunch a couple
Speaker 2: of weeks later, and then her friend was like, you
Speaker 2: know that I've got ADHD and I'm pretty convinced, if
Speaker 2: not certain, that Matt has it as well. And Jen
Speaker 2: was like, oh, like what's like why do you think that?
Speaker 2: And then she was like blah blah blah, all these
Speaker 2: reasons why. And then Jen like brought that to my
Speaker 2: attention and I was sort of like, well, the Love
Speaker 2: Island psychiatrist said that when I came.
Speaker 1: Up, Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
Speaker 2: I said, like I think that like you have idio HD.
Speaker 2: I was sort of like Uncleoud n I'm coming off
Speaker 2: a show, so like, yeah, whatever, that's that's future Matt's problem.
Speaker 2: I've casted for another show recently, and the psychiatrist that
Speaker 2: did the interviews with me was like, I want to
Speaker 2: test you for ADHD before we go further. And I
Speaker 2: was sort of like, She's like, are you comfortable with that?
Speaker 2: And I was like, I have lived twenty seven years
Speaker 2: with it because to me, ADHD was more like it
Speaker 2: was more like just at tension thing where like you
Speaker 2: couldn't focus attention, which I knew I couldn't do, but
Speaker 2: I just thought that was me. I didn't like school,
Speaker 2: you know, I mean, I didn't like focusing on little
Speaker 2: things that needed my attention for a long period of time.
Speaker 2: I just thought that was me. And I was like,
Speaker 2: if that's ADHD, like whatever, whatever, I can live with that,
Speaker 2: that's just me. Then I explained to all this to
Speaker 2: my psychologist and then she said, look, when you told
Speaker 2: me that you got diagnosed with bipolar, I thought what
Speaker 2: I've heard from you is more eighty And I was
Speaker 2: like yeah, whatever, you know, like, well, I've had three
Speaker 2: professionals tell me that I've got the symptoms or not symptoms,
Speaker 2: like the traits of someone that has ADHD. And I
Speaker 2: sort of was like, you know, like whatever, to me,
Speaker 2: it's not like it's I can live with it, it's
Speaker 2: what I've been living with. But then it's funny. It
Speaker 2: took a TikTok that came up in my algorithm and
Speaker 2: it was about someone with ADHD and how much coffee
Speaker 2: they drink. So yeah, like we've spoken about it a
Speaker 2: bunch on this on this podcast, and I was sort
Speaker 2: of like, it was like, if you drink a lot
Speaker 2: of coffee, you might have ADHD, so listen to this.
Speaker 2: And I was sort of like, but.
Speaker 1: We both drink a lot of coffee.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, maybe you might need to, you know, look
Speaker 2: into it. But they said that because they always said
Speaker 2: just drinking coffee not make you feel like anxious or
Speaker 2: make you feel jittery. And I remember the first time
Speaker 2: I got brought to my attention was when I moved
Speaker 2: out and I was living with my mates and they
Speaker 2: saw my coffee intake and they're like, dude, how are
Speaker 2: you not having a heart attack? How do you not
Speaker 2: feel wird? How do you not eat you jittery? And
Speaker 2: I was like, Na, this is just me, This is me.
Speaker 2: This is who I am. I drink a lot of coffee.
Speaker 2: IM addicted to caffeine. I would always say, if I
Speaker 2: don't have coffee.
Speaker 1: I see flat.
Speaker 2: I'm too flat. I feel normal with coffee, I always so,
Speaker 2: I feel like this when I have coffee, not like this.
Speaker 2: So they were set on the TikTok that people with
Speaker 2: ADHD search that for that dopamine intake that coffee has
Speaker 2: and that caffeine gives them. So it's not like an
Speaker 2: amazing massive dopamine here, but it's still like that dopamine
Speaker 2: comes from coffee. That's why they self medicate with caffeine.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, that's interesting, Well maybe these
Speaker 2: professionals are onto something. So like I started getting more
Speaker 2: and more into this whole of like ADHD traits and
Speaker 2: how they're fucking meet to its. T he like literally
Speaker 2: mean like the emotional irregularity where you can't control your emotions.
Speaker 2: You go from an extreme up to an extreme down
Speaker 2: literally a text message or out like a as someone
Speaker 2: canceling plans on you, or like a traffic light turning red,
Speaker 2: like you know what I mean, Like all this stuff
Speaker 2: can control your emotions and you feel it so impactfully
Speaker 2: and I was, so people have said we like, you
Speaker 2: haven't been diagnosed. I'm obviously seeing a professional now about it.
Speaker 2: Seeks professional help so I can get that diagnosed about it.
Speaker 2: So when I know more about it, I think that
Speaker 2: we should touch on it a bit more and even
Speaker 2: do an episode about ADHD in relationships because from where
Speaker 2: I'll touch on later is it is definitely a struggle
Speaker 2: or a partner that doesn't have ADHD to understand someone,
Speaker 2: especially when your partner isn't diagnosed with it, when they're
Speaker 2: just saying this is me, like you have to learn
Speaker 2: how to deal with me. And I think that was
Speaker 2: a real struggle for Jen and I was I was like, well,
Speaker 2: this is me, Like why can't you just come from
Speaker 2: this angle and you know you'll get this from me?
Speaker 2: And she sort of was like, but like why would
Speaker 2: I do that? Like do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So you guys kind of clashed a little bit ean Jen.
Speaker 2: On the topic of like that, like I was so
Speaker 2: stuck in my ways and I couldn't see from another
Speaker 2: person why they couldn't understand me. And what Jen has
Speaker 2: also brought up to me in recent weeks days since
Speaker 2: we've been talking since we've been going over our relationship
Speaker 2: and where we weren't wrong, and that was how how
Speaker 2: can I expect someone else to understand me when I
Speaker 2: didn't understand myself completely. I was just like, this is me.
Speaker 2: This is like just deal with it sort of thing.
Speaker 1: Which is not the right way to go about things
Speaker 1: at all. Like I think in relationships it's given, take
Speaker 1: and you never want to just be like taking a leader,
Speaker 1: accepted or fuck off. But in the same breath, like
Speaker 1: you know, when things are right, shouldn't it be easy?
Speaker 1: Is the question that I have.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But like since I've done more research and this
Speaker 2: is what I'm I'm not going to use ADHD as
Speaker 2: an excuse ever, so no one come at me and
Speaker 2: say you're using it as an excuse.
Speaker 1: And you're also not diagnosed as of yet. We're not
Speaker 1: going to play doctor TikTok or doctor yeah, doctor Google.
Speaker 1: But there has been like three or four doctors who
Speaker 1: have said said to you that they think you have it.
Speaker 2: So to go further with the like the things now
Speaker 2: that I'm doing it, going for a professional you to
Speaker 2: get like your reports and they need to go over
Speaker 2: school reports and all this sort of stuff. Talk to
Speaker 2: your parents and all that sort of stuff, So like
Speaker 2: I'm doing the right apps to find the diagnosis. Well,
Speaker 2: what I said. What I said was like, if it
Speaker 2: was one or two traits, I'd be like, you know, maybe,
Speaker 2: but when you're looking at like thirty two to thirty
Speaker 2: five traits, just sort of like, okay, probably there's a
Speaker 2: safe bet. So I'm not blaming ADHD for the demise
Speaker 2: of the relationship. And like you said, we're not trained professionals,
Speaker 2: we're not playing Google doctor. I'm not going to come
Speaker 2: on here and like blame that. But it definitely made
Speaker 2: for situations a lot harder in the way that we
Speaker 2: couldn't come to compromises. I couldn't compromise in my mind
Speaker 2: certain stuff I just struggled to and we clashed on
Speaker 2: We both clashed. We clashed were two, And what I
Speaker 2: say to general the time was we're two different people.
Speaker 2: Where a boy and a girl that starts off different people,
Speaker 2: come from different upbringings, different life experiences, and we're molded
Speaker 2: into the people we are, and we should never expect
Speaker 2: the other person to understand us or think the exact
Speaker 2: same way we are. At the core, our morals and
Speaker 2: everything are the same. But if you take stuff that
Speaker 2: like everyday sort of stuff. One for instance is her
Speaker 2: growing up was you sit at dinner and you all
Speaker 2: sit there and you have dinner together. Right to me,
Speaker 2: dinner was never a thing. We wouldn't we'd come and go.
Speaker 2: You'd come like obviously when we were kids, you'd Mum
Speaker 2: would serve ourselff and we'd sit there. But it would
Speaker 2: now later years from like twelve or thirteen, you'd come
Speaker 2: and go from like footy training, like sisters would have
Speaker 2: like kalis cens ballet training, like you'd come and go
Speaker 2: from different things. You would never be there at the
Speaker 2: same time. But to her family and that it was
Speaker 2: really important to all sit down and have dinner. I'd
Speaker 2: sit down and have dinner with her, but I just wouldn't.
Speaker 2: It wouldn't be the same for me. I'd just be like,
Speaker 2: you know, like yeah. So that was an example of that.
Speaker 2: And to me was I put a lot of emphasis
Speaker 2: on watching a movie or a TV show together and
Speaker 2: she never did that with it.
Speaker 1: That's what your family liked to do to get what we.
Speaker 2: Like to do. Like I know Jay Shetty love him,
Speaker 2: but he says that it's a low value activity to do.
Speaker 2: But if you're growing up Barney, yeah, of course. Do
Speaker 2: you remember the song at the end of Barney Now,
Speaker 2: But at the end it was I love you. So
Speaker 2: me and my sisters would not watch that without my mum,
Speaker 2: so we would pause it. She'd be out doing the washing,
Speaker 2: she'd be doing the washing up, she'd be doing something.
Speaker 2: We would call it in and we'd all sit there
Speaker 2: and watch that together.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's like making me emotional.
Speaker 2: Yeah, every time. So like watching stuff with my loved
Speaker 2: one was what I put emphasis on. We still do
Speaker 2: movie nights every now and like then now it's harder
Speaker 2: now that we're all older, but that we put emphasis
Speaker 2: on movie nights. That's how we And it was sort
Speaker 2: of like that was sort of something that we both
Speaker 2: couldn't understand what the other one was like we did
Speaker 2: we would do it with the other one and we
Speaker 2: would make time and hold space for the other one
Speaker 2: to do that. But it was just something that I
Speaker 2: was an example if we would raise differently, we have
Speaker 2: different expressions of showing it and we could never come
Speaker 2: to a resolution like we would We would hang out
Speaker 2: and do that stuff. But it was just like one
Speaker 2: of the things that like just and there was multiple
Speaker 2: things like that that we just were just not the
Speaker 2: same on, weren't a lining, but it weren't aligning on
Speaker 2: and it just ca for miscommunication.
Speaker 1: And like, yeah, I'm not gonna lie, it's been hard
Speaker 1: seeing you upset and I know that you've been struggling
Speaker 1: a lot, like this morning. Yeah you cried before this episode,
Speaker 1: just to be transparent with everyone, like it's not been
Speaker 1: an easy time. And then obviously like celebrating my engagement
Speaker 1: party and then seeing you struggling. You know, all I
Speaker 1: want for you as my friend is to be at
Speaker 1: your happiest. And you know, like when you're at your happiest,
Speaker 1: like nothing can stop you. You're just like the most
Speaker 1: charismatic fun person ever. We go through ups and downs
Speaker 1: in life, and you know, life can be challenging and tricky,
Speaker 1: and you've really like it's been challenging not just for you,
Speaker 1: but for also Jen. It's you know, like it would
Speaker 1: be amazing if you guys could have been smooth sailing,
Speaker 1: and that's what like what everyone wants, but unfortunately sometimes
Speaker 1: that's not how the cookie crumbles.
Speaker 2: What makes it harder as well, is it's not clear,
Speaker 2: like breakup as in like you've done this, I don't
Speaker 2: love you or something like that. It's like stuff we're
Speaker 2: done that just you know, like it's crossing boundaries. It's
Speaker 2: hurt people, and the better thing was to take some space.
Speaker 2: The space fell into the same time as our least ending.
Speaker 2: So now where I'm obviously back with my mum. So
Speaker 2: you moved out, I moved out. I'm living with my mum.
Speaker 2: To be fair, at the start, I begrudged it, but
Speaker 2: once I don't know with you, like once you give
Speaker 2: me back with your parents, and then like you just
Speaker 2: see how easy it is, how cruizy it is, and
Speaker 2: just having those people around me.
Speaker 1: If your mum does your washing for you, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I appreciate it. And like I even say to my
Speaker 2: eighteen year old sister because she's still living there, like
Speaker 2: you like, wait till you move out and you're washing,
Speaker 2: you don't have time that week and your class up,
Speaker 2: Like it's fucking you know what I mean? You appreciate
Speaker 2: all that sort of stuff as well as saving, Like
Speaker 2: I've just not paying rent and all that sort stuff.
Speaker 2: I'm helping mommy out, but you know it's just dramatically
Speaker 2: helping my savings but it's unlucky that the breakup fell
Speaker 2: on a time that the lease ended. So Jen has
Speaker 2: moved in now with another house with her twin and
Speaker 2: her twin sisters Beyonce, and they're renting somewhere else and
Speaker 2: it's just you know, like I don't know, I haven't
Speaker 2: been to the house. Like it's just it's made it
Speaker 2: for a like more difficult situation and it's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it hurts, like you know, like it was meant, like
Speaker 2: we were meant at the end of the lease move
Speaker 2: out and get somewhere, just like the two of us,
Speaker 2: and yeah, it sucks. It sucks now that we don't
Speaker 2: have that opportunity too. I went to our house the
Speaker 2: other week to pick up some stuff that was left
Speaker 2: there and like just was like really eerie and like
Speaker 2: sad that like I wasn't there for when everything moved
Speaker 2: out and it's just an empty house and all the
Speaker 2: memories and that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're sentimental, like very that's gonna that's gonna
Speaker 1: hurt you and like hit hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, just made it like really sad.
Speaker 1: Makes it a bit real when the house is empty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, remembering all those memories.
Speaker 1: So Jens moved out with her twin sister, twin sister,
Speaker 1: and they just recently announced that they're pregnant.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that that as well, there was a bit
Speaker 2: of a thing on top that, like talk about timing,
Speaker 2: they found that out the day we broke up. Really yeah,
Speaker 2: so that was just Yeah, do.
Speaker 1: You remember a week after Josh and I broke up
Speaker 1: that Luke proposed Remember that it was that a week
Speaker 1: after week after we broke up Luke proposed or was
Speaker 1: it a week before? It was a week either way,
Speaker 1: But it just it just makes it burns so much
Speaker 1: more because you're like, oh, like I think I could
Speaker 1: that have been ours?
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, I think on both parties were sort
Speaker 2: of upset about that news and just didn't make things
Speaker 2: any easier, the situation any easier. It's been rough, Like
Speaker 2: you said, it's been a rough cuff. It's been a
Speaker 2: rough couple of months, and I've just you know, I've
Speaker 2: been doing my best to to try and move on,
Speaker 2: but like it's hard.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, obviously we want to say like congratulations
Speaker 1: to Jen's sister and her partner as well, Like we
Speaker 1: definitely don't want to take away from their amazing news.
Speaker 1: Just on a side note because obviously, you know, we're
Speaker 1: talking about you and like your you know, experience, but
Speaker 1: we obviously don't want to take away their amazing news.
Speaker 1: It's been it's a hard time for you, Matt, and
Speaker 1: I think there's probably a lot of people listening who
Speaker 1: can relate to this. There's probably a lot of people
Speaker 1: going through breakups and like life isn't fairies and rainbows.
Speaker 1: You know, when I was twenty seven your age, I
Speaker 1: was going through my biggest breakup. But I was breaking
Speaker 1: I was breaking up from my partner of six years,
Speaker 1: and I was in a very dark place and it
Speaker 1: was fucking rough. It was not easy. It takes everything
Speaker 1: in you to like move forward, and it's hard. It's
Speaker 1: I don't envy the position, but also I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, you can come out stronger.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I believe that, and that's sort of what's
Speaker 2: getting me through stuff. I say to general time like
Speaker 2: it's we'd not tiptoeing on tulips, Like life isn't tiptoeing
Speaker 2: and tulips. She hates that expression, that expression. I think
Speaker 2: it's a song, and I think I say it wrong
Speaker 2: as well. I think she googled it and she's like,
Speaker 2: you say it wrong. I think it's tiptoeing through tulips,
Speaker 2: but I say tiptoeing on tulips hard. Yeah, well that's
Speaker 2: the idea. You're like, you're on like your tippy toes,
Speaker 2: like doing it Like. Life's not like that.
Speaker 1: It's I'm getting visuals now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's got ups and downs, and it's just like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's rough, and.
Speaker 1: I mean it's you know, it's interesting because we both
Speaker 1: have a relationship podcast. I'm going through the best time
Speaker 1: of my life and you're going through the worst of yours,
Speaker 1: and it's just like, you know, the contrast in our
Speaker 1: lives right now is just very interesting. It doesn't mean
Speaker 1: it's going to stay that way forever. That could very
Speaker 1: quickly switch. We could switch spots, and I think, like,
Speaker 1: you know, not wish that, but I'm just saying like
Speaker 1: I'm here for you. I know how it feels. It
Speaker 1: fucking sucks, and you know you'll get through it. Thank you,
Speaker 1: I promise, thank you, because I did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been a rough time. I've done all the
Speaker 2: right steps to try and feel better from it. So
Speaker 2: one was and was your recommendation was I went back
Speaker 2: and listened to breakups, breakups and burn, and I took
Speaker 2: away a lot of the points that we gave.
Speaker 1: How is it listening to breakups? That burn? Our episode
Speaker 1: that kind of went a bit viral in regards to breakups?
Speaker 1: How is it listening to the episode? Whilst in the
Speaker 1: midst of a breakup?
Speaker 2: It was different because I was obviously talking about my
Speaker 2: last breakup. It was a bit different. I found it
Speaker 2: very beneficial and very helpful. I took down all the
Speaker 2: list of help to help me and I went through them,
Speaker 2: and I think they helped me get to a I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna say a healing, but they definitely helped with
Speaker 2: the healing process.
Speaker 1: It's not linear as well, right, Like healing is just
Speaker 1: like up and down and all around. In one minute
Speaker 1: you're fine and the next minute you feel like trash.
Speaker 1: It's waves, it's waves, It's what is it? The Dean
Speaker 1: lewis the way it comes and goes, and it comes
Speaker 1: and goes in way.
Speaker 2: And that was like someone said that to me at
Speaker 2: the start, and I said, fuck, they're not wrong, like
Speaker 2: and especially like how I feel my emotions, Like I
Speaker 2: could literally feel that motion and fucking hits home real hard.
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you though, for going to the psychologist
Speaker 1: and actually like seeking to get a diagnosis, because I
Speaker 1: think it's probably I mean, at twenty seven years old,
Speaker 1: it's it's about time that you.
Speaker 2: Actually, I think there's a lot of people at this
Speaker 2: age they're realizing it. And this is what they said
Speaker 2: as well was and then we said, like the TikTok
Speaker 2: thing and laughed about it, but it is. It's bringing
Speaker 2: attention to it. People on TikTok talking about it. Probably
Speaker 2: me talking about my experience might be like might click
Speaker 2: for someone else. And I think that's the best way
Speaker 2: because there's been a lot of undiagnosed people that are
Speaker 2: in their late twenties early thirties that have lived their
Speaker 2: life just you know, always being that different, the different
Speaker 2: one in the group, the one that thinks a little
Speaker 2: bit different, the one that acts a little bit differently,
Speaker 2: I don't want to say quirky, but like a bit
Speaker 2: like it's a bit you know, it's a bit different
Speaker 2: the way they thinks. And I and I accepted that
Speaker 2: role because that was me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're authentically yourself. Yeah, okay, well, look let's talk
Speaker 1: about some of the things that can help you if
Speaker 1: you are going through a breakup, like Matt, these are
Speaker 1: the points that we listed from breakups that burn, and
Speaker 1: we're going to go over them next. Okay, Matt. So
Speaker 1: the first recommendation that we gave to our wares your
Speaker 1: head Out listeners is actually to go no contact and
Speaker 1: to unfollow on socials. That's something that you haven't done.
Speaker 2: We did unfollow each other on socials. You did go
Speaker 2: non contact for a little while, right. I do think
Speaker 2: that hurts, but like, I don't know, it's easier said
Speaker 2: than done. I know that, like we recommend that and
Speaker 2: people out there, but like, the anxiety in that period sucks.
Speaker 1: It's hard.
Speaker 2: It's so hard, especially when it's really fresh as well.
Speaker 2: Like I was seriously feeling the worst anxiety I felt
Speaker 2: in a long time. Because you're going from a norm
Speaker 2: of talking to everyone every day, like talking to them
Speaker 2: every day, having someone there to lean on for emotional support,
Speaker 2: tell them how you feeling, tell them like little stories
Speaker 2: that happened to you in your everyday life that like
Speaker 2: you don't tell your work colleagues, you don't tell people,
Speaker 2: you don't tell your mates, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: And then it's like, well, who do you talk to
Speaker 2: like for this, like what do you do? So it
Speaker 2: was a really it's a real it's the word adapting
Speaker 2: to that or a real shift in your life. It's
Speaker 2: really weird and uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: It is it's hard, like it's definitely not easy, and like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm glad that you did that at the start,
Speaker 1: just to have some space because obviously, like going to
Speaker 1: a break ups always like difficult. I think the worst
Speaker 1: thing that you can do when you go no contact
Speaker 1: is to think in your own head, like what are
Speaker 1: they getting up to? Because that's where you just drive
Speaker 1: yourself off the edge, like it's just too hard.
Speaker 2: I think I took comfort in knowing that Jen was
Speaker 2: in the same situation as me, that we were both
Speaker 2: feeling uncomfortable with it, and while we're enjoying it, and
Speaker 2: it's not like we were doing it for any other
Speaker 2: reason than just trying to heal and trying to get
Speaker 2: like a little bit of clarity clarity of the situation.
Speaker 2: The next one that we had was stay busy and
Speaker 2: make new memories. So early on in the breakup, it
Speaker 2: was brought to my attention that I haven't with my mates.
Speaker 2: We don't catch up unless there's drinking involved, and we've
Speaker 2: spoken about it multiple times about how we are about
Speaker 2: like drinking now we're sort of like leaning away from it,
Speaker 2: not going out and getting fucked up all the time.
Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, this is true. Whenever I
Speaker 2: see my mates, it's always you know, like an engagement party,
Speaker 2: someone's birthday, beers at the pub, watching the footy. It
Speaker 2: was never just like a sober hanging out and chat
Speaker 2: to my mates. So over the last couple of months,
Speaker 2: I've been making a conscious effort to go get coffee
Speaker 2: with my mates, go for a walk with my mates.
Speaker 2: I remember I went around to my mate's house and
Speaker 2: I just sat there and watched the footy with them,
Speaker 2: no drinks, We just got takeout and just sort of
Speaker 2: making those new memories where it isn't based around that
Speaker 2: same culture of drinking. And I think that it's being
Speaker 2: very beneficial into my growth and my healing process because
Speaker 2: everyone and this is a this is a mentality I
Speaker 2: hate about breakups as well that everyone has is you know,
Speaker 2: I'll drink to numb the pain, Like it, what do
Speaker 2: you get it for? Like what a brief night you're drunk,
Speaker 2: and then like it makes you feel better? I don't
Speaker 2: know about other people, but you wake up feeling worse anxiety,
Speaker 2: you're feeling sick, you're feeling hungover, You're laying in bed,
Speaker 2: You're not going out and making new memory. So I
Speaker 2: feel like, yeah, for that hair of the dog. Well,
Speaker 2: some people maybe can't like that, and I think that like, yes,
Speaker 2: that night will hurt, but feel that night with memories
Speaker 2: of maybe going to watch a movie or going to
Speaker 2: the theater if you're not with your friends. Yeah, activities
Speaker 2: that simulate your brain and they're not they're taking your
Speaker 2: mind off stuff. And then go to bed, wake up
Speaker 2: the next day, go for a walk with a friend,
Speaker 2: go for a walk with friends and family and just
Speaker 2: you know, do stuff that bring more not joy into
Speaker 2: your life, but more like positive energy, energy and outcome. Yeah,
Speaker 2: not like not low frequency stuff. Or you wake up
Speaker 2: like going out drinking. Don't get me wrong, I have
Speaker 2: so much fucking fun doing that, Like I love doing that.
Speaker 2: But then the next day it was like you're hungover,
Speaker 2: you're laying in bed, you're just dwelling on it, and
Speaker 2: you can't hide it because what do you use for
Speaker 2: dopamine in your brain? Social media? So you're flicking through
Speaker 2: there and it's like, oh, that's a dark place. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's not that I don't think there's much positive
Speaker 2: out of that.
Speaker 1: And I think, you know, just to add to our
Speaker 1: stay busy, stay busy, but stay off social media when
Speaker 1: you're going through a breakoup, because there's nothing worse than
Speaker 1: seeing like your ex in like different people's stories, like
Speaker 1: their friends stories, Like it's just the worst. And then
Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, now I know they're out, like I do.
Speaker 1: I go to like a bar close to them, so
Speaker 1: hopefully we jump into each other. Like all of the
Speaker 1: crazy thoughts that you think when you're very new single,
Speaker 1: like you want to avoid those at all costs, like
Speaker 1: blocking people who are in their circles, so you just
Speaker 1: meeting people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Think that's probably a kind of way to do it,
Speaker 1: but you know what I mean, like not putting yourself
Speaker 1: in a position where you have like a meltdown because
Speaker 1: you see them out well and you start blowing up
Speaker 1: their phone.
Speaker 2: What are you doing? I think that like the way
Speaker 2: I handled it in that respect was really good at
Speaker 2: my healing process and making me feel better that I
Speaker 2: did activities that stimulated my brain and you know, brought
Speaker 2: me long not short term happiness, but long term more game.
Speaker 1: Absolutely Okay. Number three is find a lesson in the
Speaker 1: breakup and work on yourself well.
Speaker 2: In the mind breakup. In my relationship, I think that
Speaker 2: Jen taught me so much. She taught me a lot
Speaker 2: about myself, a lot of bit maturing and a lot
Speaker 2: of growing up. And to be fair, I have a
Speaker 2: lot more to do and I don't. I think that
Speaker 2: I have done it a lot slower than a lot
Speaker 2: of people around me, but I'm grateful for what she's
Speaker 2: done there. She's definitely taught me a lot about myself.
Speaker 2: My lesson in the breakup, though, they're probably the big one.
Speaker 2: And this isn't just for my relationship with Jen. This
Speaker 2: is actually everything that I've gone into, like with clients,
Speaker 2: I've gone into watching I know it sounds weird watching
Speaker 2: people in movies and like the roles they're playing and
Speaker 2: all this sort of stuff. Is that no one thinks
Speaker 2: that they're the bad guy in a situation, and no
Speaker 2: matter how much you try and prove your point across
Speaker 2: to them, or no matter how much, they're always going
Speaker 2: to write a narrative in their own head that makes
Speaker 2: them feel more comfortable with the situation. So like, and
Speaker 2: no matter how much you tell them, there's always going
Speaker 2: to be three versions of a story. Absolutely their version
Speaker 2: of your version of the truth. And you can find
Speaker 2: a lot of peace in knowing that you can't convince
Speaker 2: someone otherwise you can't like they're going to be It
Speaker 2: take a very.
Speaker 1: Very like emotionally mature person.
Speaker 2: An open minded person to actually see from every side.
Speaker 2: And as much as like this, and like I said,
Speaker 2: this isn't just my relationship, this is everyday thing that
Speaker 2: I've realized about, like my moving back in with my
Speaker 2: mum and my sister, like just with everyone with you,
Speaker 2: like you just can't like everyone has their version of
Speaker 2: what's happened, and you can't really have it. I can't
Speaker 2: argue your point. You'll go blue trying to argue that
Speaker 2: point to him.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Yeah, you just have to show up being the
Speaker 1: best version of yourself, I think, and everything else falls
Speaker 1: into place. Okay, we said number four was get under
Speaker 1: to get over. What are you thinking of this one?
Speaker 2: Matt still got the same opinion of that. I don't
Speaker 2: think it works. I know that you think it does.
Speaker 2: I just think that, like, like I've said, my whole life.
Speaker 2: Sex has come real easy to me. And I think
Speaker 2: that you pointed it out to me when I was
Speaker 2: going through my last breakup, that I was filling my
Speaker 2: life with just you.
Speaker 1: Know, like meaningless sex, meaningless.
Speaker 2: Sex, and it was taking away my energy and it
Speaker 2: was taking away your joy, my joy. Yeah, it was
Speaker 2: like I felt like a depleted, empty version of myself
Speaker 2: because sex is an exchange of energy with someone, and
Speaker 2: I don't like, I have no no qualms with like
Speaker 2: you the argument of like you learn that there's more
Speaker 2: people out there and you see that. I get that,
Speaker 2: but I just think that the way I've done it
Speaker 2: in the past has been not toxic, but it has
Speaker 2: the like it's just taken away from me and taken
Speaker 2: away from my healing process.
Speaker 1: So and that's the thing is things that might work
Speaker 1: for me might not work for you, and vice versa.
Speaker 1: Like everyone is different and these recommendations are specific to
Speaker 1: either one of us. But you know, people kind of
Speaker 1: like live their own reality and do what works for them,
Speaker 1: and just a remind us to always do what works
Speaker 1: for you. If I'm out here saying get under to
Speaker 1: get over and you don't believe that that's going to
Speaker 1: work for you, then, you know, listen to yourself and
Speaker 1: focus on you.
Speaker 2: I respect that, Like you could learn that there's more
Speaker 2: people out there, and I get that and I could
Speaker 2: see that. But for me that that hasn't worked in
Speaker 2: the past, and I've taken a lot from my previous
Speaker 2: breakups to try and get me better.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But if you are going through a breakup and
Speaker 1: all you can do is think about them and you
Speaker 1: can't get over them, then, like you know, for our listeners,
Speaker 1: maybe get under to get over.
Speaker 2: Just a thought, is that song on the radio right
Speaker 2: now about that girl who she's going through a breakup
Speaker 2: and she's talking about going out and getting someone really
Speaker 2: doesn't relate to me.
Speaker 1: I can't relate.
Speaker 2: I can't relate to it. I don't know if she
Speaker 2: says something like, here's a little context if you explain
Speaker 2: finished position.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that song.
Speaker 2: I do like it. It's a catchy song, but the
Speaker 2: actual message you've had, I see that working. Speaking of songs,
Speaker 2: the next one is making empowering playlists.
Speaker 1: So is that on your playlist?
Speaker 2: That one is an I'll share mine if people want
Speaker 2: to hear it, put it on there.
Speaker 1: Where's your head out? Facebook?
Speaker 2: Group that would be good. I will well. There was
Speaker 2: one that our manager Anna told me about, which I actually,
Speaker 2: funnily enough, was listening to when she told me. It
Speaker 2: was another love you know that one.
Speaker 1: There's been a lot of singing on this podca is Yeah,
Speaker 1: that one.
Speaker 2: So I listened to that. I love that. When I
Speaker 2: go and runs. Another one is, which is so relevant
Speaker 2: to our breakup is last night one. That one is
Speaker 2: by Morgan Wallan. Last night. It's like last night we
Speaker 2: let the lit talk not the best Okay.
Speaker 1: So I have a recommendation, and I probably recommended this
Speaker 1: last episode, but I can't remember because I haven't listened
Speaker 1: to it in a while. So I'm going to re recommend.
Speaker 1: It's called Bright Blue Skies by Mitch James, and it
Speaker 1: just like gets you up and about do you want
Speaker 1: me to play a little bit of it?
Speaker 2: I can copyright laws, do that? How to lature?
Speaker 1: It's like it's a really good records, good one. I
Speaker 1: can see the Bright Blue Skies now that you're gone. Anyway,
Speaker 1: one A great one.
Speaker 2: There was another one. What was the other one? O
Speaker 2: These Days by Maclamore. Oh yeah, I love that one.
Speaker 2: That's suck. It's kind of sad though it's a full
Speaker 2: dopemine song. Though.
Speaker 1: Do you know what when I go through a breakup,
Speaker 1: I love listening to sad songs and just like crying
Speaker 1: in the car, just like scream crying.
Speaker 2: Like staring out the window. Yeah, what was the one
Speaker 2: the other day?
Speaker 1: That feel better? Because I've had like a very high
Speaker 1: emotional reaction and then I'm like, Okay, sometimes.
Speaker 2: When you're on a down, you need something to act
Speaker 2: like you're there and you're all right, I want these
Speaker 2: tears to come out. So you're like, I'll put something.
Speaker 1: Sad on on, Yeah, like a Lewis Capaldi.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it just hits that like that's a little
Speaker 2: bit over so you can cry to it. How about
Speaker 2: this is? Do you remember Hamish and Andy were saying that,
Speaker 2: you know, raw by Katie Perry, If you're in a
Speaker 2: good mood, it's a it's a happy song, but if
Speaker 2: you're in a sad one, it's a sad song.
Speaker 1: I've never thought of that.
Speaker 2: In different moods and it can literally dictate like the
Speaker 2: way you feel. It's so good. I love that. Okay.
Speaker 1: The next one is to book a holiday Matt. We're
Speaker 1: going to try and get away with the podcast to
Speaker 1: fulfill that need of your at the moment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like I said, I had that holiday book
Speaker 2: to America and that's sort of fallen out of bed
Speaker 2: a little bit. So I haven't got anyone to go. Well,
Speaker 2: I do, but like they want to book closer to
Speaker 2: the date, which I'm just like, no, I need to
Speaker 2: see I need to go now, but I need to
Speaker 2: see tickets as well. Like so I know I've got
Speaker 2: something I'm working towards, but I'm not so unhappy about that.
Speaker 2: I have come to the conclusion that I want to say,
Speaker 2: for a deposit for a house. I know that you're
Speaker 2: doing the same thing. I'm looking at different properties. I
Speaker 2: want to get an apartment. I don't have two bedroom
Speaker 2: or one bedroom, so very exciting. They're very exciting. So
Speaker 2: that's what I'm working towards now. So that's what I'm used,
Speaker 2: like you know, that's my sort of motivation, motivations, we're
Speaker 2: working towards that. I'm obviously at my mum's now, so
Speaker 2: I love it there. But like I say to her,
Speaker 2: I choose to be here.
Speaker 1: It's been a hard year, like it's I mean, there's
Speaker 1: been some great things that have happened this year to
Speaker 1: both of us, but also like there has been some
Speaker 1: rough patches behind the scenes in your personal life, in
Speaker 1: work life. So like I feel like, you know what,
Speaker 1: if you're listening to this podcast and you've had a
Speaker 1: bit of a tough year, you're not alone. The second
Speaker 1: half of twenty twenty three is all of our year.
Speaker 2: Year.
Speaker 1: Guys, we're literally just like I think, from like June first,
Speaker 1: we're just starting again, like let's give each other until
Speaker 1: the end.
Speaker 2: Of financial year. Yeah, yeah, this financial years are right off.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, this financial year is done.
Speaker 2: We started last year, so that's no wonder. You don't
Speaker 2: need fresh start.
Speaker 1: But you know what we're manifesting. We're staying true to
Speaker 1: like all of our goals and like it's going to
Speaker 1: end up being the best year of our lives.
Speaker 2: The next one is if your heart muscle is hurting,
Speaker 2: put other muscles in pain. So I've been literally like
Speaker 2: getting up every morning, running in the evening, then going sauna,
Speaker 2: just literally smashing that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys have probably noticed if you are a
Speaker 1: regular listener, then Matt just all of a sudden started
Speaker 1: just smashing the gym and started like being in the
Speaker 1: sauna every night, and this is the reason why, because
Speaker 1: it's really helped your mental health, and I think it's,
Speaker 1: you know, other than seeing your younger self in the sauna,
Speaker 1: it's in a really positive Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love the sauna. That's why I was so
Speaker 2: livid a couple of weeks ago on the hotline and
Speaker 2: somebody ruined the sauna. Dark and dogs. I need this
Speaker 2: more than you think.
Speaker 1: And the final one is therapy, So talk to MAT's,
Speaker 1: talk to family, but talk to a professional.
Speaker 2: I'm obviously talking to professionals at the moment, I find
Speaker 2: it very beneficial. A lot of problems in geninized relationship
Speaker 2: was over sharing to my close fuds. I feel like
Speaker 2: you've vent to your friends with them, so they hear
Speaker 2: the bad stuff, do you know what I mean? And
Speaker 2: then they're making an opinion which doesn't give the full
Speaker 2: picture of what's actually happening. So I like, you get
Speaker 2: pretty shitty, not shitty advice, but you get advice dictated
Speaker 2: on the negatives and not the positives. They don't see everything.
Speaker 2: So I've been a bit choosy with who I'm talking
Speaker 2: to my mates. I'm talking to just the ones that
Speaker 2: understand the full situation and understand me and get it.
Speaker 2: But I definitely recommend your talking to mates and sharing
Speaker 2: with people that can give you advice.
Speaker 1: It's also just like a problem shared is a problem halved, right,
Speaker 1: Like you don't want to hold all of the weight
Speaker 1: of your own problems on your own back. Like sometimes
Speaker 1: opening up to people it kind of does take a
Speaker 1: weight off and like there's nothing to be embarrassed about, right,
Speaker 1: Like we all go through problems. No one's life is perfect,
Speaker 1: and I think being confident enough to be able to
Speaker 1: share that and to kind of say to people like, yeah,
Speaker 1: like everything isn't perfect and things are really hard right now,
Speaker 1: I think that's admirable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've shou out to my mum obviously moved back
Speaker 2: with her and living with her. I've had her to
Speaker 2: lean on for emotional support a lot, so I appreciate that.
Speaker 2: I've been going on walks and chatting, So I appreciate that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think that you need to if you need to
Speaker 2: lean on someone, definitely find someone to seek professional help.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, this is one that I didn't follow all the
Speaker 2: way through, which I wish I did, And I'll get
Speaker 2: if you can hear taking advice from me is write
Speaker 2: down negatives right like a hate mail. Don't focus on
Speaker 2: the good things, so when you are feeling sad, you
Speaker 2: can go back and read that letter. I know you've
Speaker 2: said in the past that you've done that. I started
Speaker 2: one in true spirit, got distracted by something else, didn't
Speaker 2: get to finish it. But I wish I had done
Speaker 2: something like that so I could fall back on it
Speaker 2: when I was in and down and feeling in the dumps.
Speaker 2: I could read back on that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's something that I did in my last breakup,
Speaker 1: and any moment of weakness I had, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: now this is all the reasons why it didn't work,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna stick to my guns on this one.
Speaker 1: But look, we all kind of our own path from
Speaker 1: me and all the where's your head at fam, we
Speaker 1: are sorry that you're going through this really hard time
Speaker 1: and we are all here to support you. So we
Speaker 1: have an amazing community. We all care about you and
Speaker 1: with sending all of our well wishes, thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2: Look, I've obviously been a hard couple of months. Jen
Speaker 2: and I've broken up. Look we're obviously on good terms now,
Speaker 2: we're chatting, we're open to whatever comes. We're hanging out
Speaker 2: every now and then, so see us out together. We're
Speaker 2: hanging out. We are, we're just trying to you know,
Speaker 2: if something as well that brought to our at tension
Speaker 2: was when we started seeing each other, we skipped all
Speaker 2: the dating stuff. We just went straight into like a
Speaker 2: relationship because of the situation we're in lockdown. I know
Speaker 2: you did the same, but I think to us it
Speaker 2: was a bit more like so now we're just going
Speaker 2: on dates, we're just having chats, nothing, no pressure on anything,
Speaker 2: and we're seeing where it goes. We're both open to it.
Speaker 2: But I think a really big point that I know personally,
Speaker 2: I can't speak for Jen, but I need to work
Speaker 2: on myself. I need to better understand myself. Always just
Speaker 2: expected people to accept the way I am, and I
Speaker 2: think that I need to come to some sort of
Speaker 2: place where I can, you know, make it easier for
Speaker 2: people around me to understand me. So I'm working on myself.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I listened in all those points. I'm like
Speaker 2: changed the way I'm living my life and I'm just
Speaker 2: trying to be better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, guys, well look that's all we have time
Speaker 1: for today. We hope this episode has helped some people
Speaker 1: that are going through a similar thing. Let's continue this
Speaker 1: conversation on our Facebook page. Make sure you rate our podcast.
Speaker 1: We will be giving away some merch to some people
Speaker 1: who are rating, and just send us a dam on
Speaker 1: our Where's your Head Out Pod Instagram once you've done
Speaker 1: that so we know who you are. Until next time, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much
Speaker 2: Thank you, Bye bye.