1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: I didn't really know what to do with myself starting out, 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: like I have this stream, I want to do it. 3 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:06,160 Speaker 1: It's so far from the person that I am right now. 4 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: And it was just play as many gigs as you can, 5 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 1: and I did, and I feel so much more comfortable 6 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,880 Speaker 1: in my body I than I would if I, you know, 7 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,440 Speaker 1: had gone the last ten years without without being on stage. Definitely, 8 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: the love for it just kind of overpowered maybe the 9 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:26,120 Speaker 1: fear of being seen. It's still hard to be perceived sometimes, 10 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: and like I find some interviews and like marketing and 11 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 1: promoting myself, I find that stuff hard. But the actual like, yeah, 12 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 1: the being on stage just feels quite natural at this point. 13 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,559 Speaker 1: I really struggle with confidence sometimes as well. Still, but 14 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: just it isn't so much of a thing on stage, 15 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 1: it's sort of yeah that I've done it enough times that, Yeah, 16 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: it feels safer than plenty of other places. You're in control. Yeah, 17 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,959 Speaker 1: in the real world, I'm not so confident all the time. 18 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 1: I'm not so in control. 19 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 2: Get Hey, Welcome and better than yesterday, making it better 20 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 2: every episode Suit that thirteen, Mine's actually gets Burg. It's Monday. 21 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 2: On Monday, we watch the highlight reel we catch the 22 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:08,840 Speaker 2: best bits, and my full conversation with Angie McMahon is 23 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 2: so good I just wanted to share these little bits 24 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 2: of the chat with you five hundred and twenty two 25 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 2: if you're keen to check out the full conversation, which 26 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,040 Speaker 2: I thoroughly recommend it. And Angie McMahon is a brilliant 27 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 2: singer songwriter, profoundly authentic singer songwriter Oudam Melbourne. She never 28 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:27,720 Speaker 2: wanted to shy away from about being open about her struggles. 29 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 2: We cover some of that today. We're going to talk 30 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 2: about the window of tolerance, what it's like to live 31 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 2: with ADHD. 32 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 3: We talk about. 33 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 2: Exercise, which is really really important to Angie as well. 34 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 1: I haven't ever what I say, I haven't ever, but 35 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: like my physical appearance and my body hasn't like troubled 36 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: me that much over the course of my life, and 37 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 1: so I haven't been, like I guess, motivated to exercise 38 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:53,720 Speaker 1: because I just kind of don't think about it. 39 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 2: But then because we have so long, for so long, 40 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 2: I quit an exercise with an aesthetic outcome. 41 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 3: Exactly, and so I don't need to do that. I 42 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 3: don't care. But actually it's not about that. 43 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 2: It's not There are entire mechanisms in your body that 44 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,360 Speaker 2: just simply do not switch on if you do not 45 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,359 Speaker 2: put yourself under a certain amount of physical stress. Is 46 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 2: the word or an amount of physical discomfort? 47 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's life changing. 48 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:24,519 Speaker 2: There are hormonal releases that only happen when we put 49 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,079 Speaker 2: ourselves in those places. And yes, it's uncomfortable, but if 50 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 2: you do it, what happens inside your body and what 51 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 2: happens inside your brain it just profound. 52 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's insane. Do you know about the window 53 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 1: of tolerance? Are you familiar with that? 54 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 2: I'm very familiar with the window of tolerance. Would you 55 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 2: please tell me about the window of tolerance? 56 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 3: You know about it? 57 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 2: But no people listening, I'm kind of wondering, like, should 58 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 2: I play some music while you describe the window of tolerance? 59 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 3: Okay, that my description is going to be like incorrect, 60 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,800 Speaker 3: so maybe to take me through the windows. You can 61 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 3: delete this later. 62 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 1: I had a conversation with the count which was really 63 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: life changing before I got diagnosed with ADHD. 64 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 3: She explained, yes, you might have that. 65 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: I'm not the person who's going to diagnose you, but 66 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: you're obviously really struggling, and I'm going to teach you 67 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 1: about this visual and it completely changed everything for me 68 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 1: because at the time I was feeling perpetually unable to 69 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,519 Speaker 1: make decisions. My brain wasn't working. I felt like I 70 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: couldn't remember anything. I felt like I wasn't laughing anymore. 71 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: I didn't necessarily feel depressed, but I felt like fully 72 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 1: just like stupid, like I felt like nothing was working. 73 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: And then she introduces this like drawing. She's like, draw 74 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: a square in your notebook, like while we're talking, and 75 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: imagine that that's your window. When you're inside this window, 76 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 1: you are your calm, collected self. You're the most to 77 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: you that you're going to feel. Your laugh sounds the 78 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 1: way it sounds when you're around your close friends and family, 79 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: and you have the ability to regulate yourself. If you 80 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 1: experienced something a bit stressful and you can, you know, 81 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: make a decision, and blah blah blah, you feel relaxed. 82 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: And everyone has this window, and everyone leaves the window. 83 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 1: And when you leave the window, you and I can't 84 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 1: remember maybe you know the names, but above the window 85 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: is like the anxious area and below the window is 86 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: the depressed area. But they actually have like hyper arousal 87 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: and hyper arousal. I think the names, but you can 88 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,279 Speaker 1: actually be perpetually outside of the window if you haven't 89 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,479 Speaker 1: been able to get back inside. And through COVID, a 90 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 1: lot of people's window is shrunk and so it was 91 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: harder to get inside. And when you're outside the window, 92 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,720 Speaker 1: you're experiencing those things. You can't make decisions, you are 93 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: really struggling to regulate yourself. You're highly emotional, you're confused, 94 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 1: you're distracted, you might be yeah, like depressed and experiencing 95 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,039 Speaker 1: all things that comes with that. And to get back 96 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,360 Speaker 1: inside the window, there are certain things that you can do, 97 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 1: like and then there's this whole like great list of 98 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: things that you can do, like if cold showers warm showers, 99 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:58,280 Speaker 1: push against something hard, pull against something hard, depending on 100 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,840 Speaker 1: whereabouts you are, talk to a friend. There's all this stuff, 101 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: And if you are wanting to expand your window, you 102 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 1: do those things that are helping you get a bit 103 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: more used to being uncomfortable, Like cold water therapy is 104 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 1: want like hardcore exercise, but there's a bunch of them, 105 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: and it just like it made me feel so much 106 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: better to know that there was a place that I 107 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,920 Speaker 1: wasn't in. But that's my place and it's okay to 108 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: not be in there, and there are ways to get 109 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:31,599 Speaker 1: back inside. Because I didn't really have this organized visual 110 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: of it. I just felt like I'm wrong now and 111 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: everything's wrong now, and I don't know how to get 112 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: back to the center. And she was like, this is 113 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: what the center looks like, and it's actually quite easy 114 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 1: to get back in there, and you can also work 115 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 1: on making it more familiar for yourself to move in 116 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: and out of the center. And I was just like, 117 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 1: I cannot believe I'm twenty seven and no one's I've. 118 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 2: Explained no, and why, like exactly, and I'm thrilled if 119 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 2: someone is younger than twenty seven listening to this right now. Yeah, 120 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 2: I didn't know that shit until five years ago, fifty 121 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 2: all right. The way it was explained to me was 122 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 2: a sash window like that you'd slide up to open 123 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 2: and close like that. And because that and what did 124 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 2: my person say to me? It was, oh, yeah, the 125 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:21,360 Speaker 2: air coming in is if you've got enough breeze coming 126 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 2: and then you can you know, you can handle stuff. 127 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:26,679 Speaker 2: The more you're not looking after and the more stress 128 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 2: you get, the more situations up, it gets slower and 129 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 2: lower and lower, and you find yourself kind of like 130 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 2: sucking at the air like a fucking scuba diver with 131 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,920 Speaker 2: a dry tank, and you're constantly unable to handle shit 132 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 2: because you have no access to the thing that allows 133 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:44,279 Speaker 2: you to deal with stuff rationally. But to push the 134 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,600 Speaker 2: window open again, there's all these things you can do 135 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 2: like that and let more of that breeze in. 136 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,160 Speaker 3: Okay, I love that visual. 137 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 2: Well, but they both work. Yours is you know, I'm 138 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,920 Speaker 2: stuck outside the word. I can't get back over. 139 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 1: To it right, But the sensation of the breeze is 140 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: very like, especially if you're feeling feeling real stress. 141 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 2: And what you've described is And I know this isn't 142 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 2: true for everyone. It certainly wasn't true for me at 143 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 2: one point, and that way I was so ill, actually 144 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:14,280 Speaker 2: needed medication to get me back to this state. For 145 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 2: the vast majority of people who are out of regulation, 146 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 2: all the stuff you need to get back in is 147 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 2: actually within your own body. There's a few things you 148 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 2: can do to restore yourself. Actually need something external, your phone, porn, gambling, 149 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 2: whatever drives alcohol people. You can get yourself back in there. 150 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 2: And it's not what you think that's free because it's 151 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 2: within you. 152 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: It's within you, and it's like, yeah, I mean this 153 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: is where my mind started being blown open. It happens 154 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: in nature all the time. It's these incredible things that 155 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 1: were born with that when you are practicing them and 156 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: learning those skills, you also are instilling this deeper confidence 157 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: and trust in yourself and which just opens up so 158 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 1: much more capacity for dealing with life because you understanding like, oh, 159 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: I actually don't need beer whatever it is. 160 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 2: Like, Yeah, yeah, being on stage, singing, performing to a 161 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 2: crowd has helped Angie a lot, and the way she 162 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 2: described it kind of made me want to ask, was 163 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 2: it a bit like exposure therapy getting up on stage, 164 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 2: getting in front of people. 165 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 3: I think so yeah. I think. 166 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: For sure it built my confidence and I have never 167 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: thought too deeply about it. I just know that I'm 168 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 1: so grateful for the advice that I got, which again 169 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: I think is probably for my dad and definitely like 170 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 1: one of his, you know friends in music, to just 171 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 1: play as many gigs as you can when you're starting out. 172 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,559 Speaker 1: I didn't really know what to do with myself starting out, 173 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: like I have this dream I want to do it. 174 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: It's so far from the person that I am right now, 175 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,280 Speaker 1: and it was just play as many gigs as you can, 176 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: and I did, and I feel so much more comfortable 177 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,720 Speaker 1: in my body than I would if I had gone 178 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,319 Speaker 1: the last ten years without being on stage. 179 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 3: You're you're in front of so many eyes. I often 180 00:08:58,840 --> 00:08:59,439 Speaker 3: think it's like. 181 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:04,079 Speaker 1: If you were like, you know, like a little animal 182 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: in the jungle and a tiger was staring at you, 183 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,560 Speaker 1: and like all the adrenaline in your body would just 184 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: turn on and you stop thinking about the things that 185 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 1: aren't important, and it's kind of, yeah, it's kind of 186 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 1: exposures every that in that way, I think you get 187 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: all this adrenaline in your body and it's so addictive, 188 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,839 Speaker 1: and I've always loved it, so definitely the love for 189 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 1: it just kind of overpowered maybe the fear of being seen. 190 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 3: It's still hard to be perceived. 191 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 1: Sometimes, and like I find some you know, interviews and 192 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: like marketing and promoting myself, I find that stuff hard. 193 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,200 Speaker 1: But the actual like, yeah, the being on stage just 194 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: feels quite natural at this point and it's really fun. 195 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 3: So I'm really grateful for that. 196 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 2: Was there a point where that where you notice that 197 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 2: things felt different stage? You're like, oh, maybe when I 198 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,560 Speaker 2: first started getting up here, and I'd play two songs 199 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 2: or whatever. I'd be shitting myself for the whole eight minutes, 200 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 2: and you know, you start to play longer sets, and 201 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,559 Speaker 2: then you shoot yourself for the first couple of songs, 202 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 2: and then you know towards the end it's better, and 203 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 2: then you get off stage and go ashually. That one 204 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 2: was kind of good. 205 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't remember. I started out in a soul band. 206 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 1: I was dancing around in short dresses and I wasn't 207 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 1: holding an instrument, and that, I mean wasn't particularly natural, 208 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,440 Speaker 1: but it was still really good training for me. 209 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,559 Speaker 2: Covers kind of like. 210 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,200 Speaker 1: We did some covers and we did we had like 211 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: a horn section. I was friends of mine. We had 212 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 1: there was nine of us. 213 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,960 Speaker 2: And talk about making no money. 214 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh that was literally no money. 215 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 2: Bunty Colin said, if you play funk your staff. 216 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 3: I don't know if it was even funk white people, 217 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,280 Speaker 3: but we were. 218 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 2: Have you heard average white band come on band pick 219 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 2: up the pieces is a fucking jam. I don't care 220 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:46,079 Speaker 2: who you are. Doctor Dre sampled Michael McDonald. Michael Doctor 221 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 2: Dre sampled Michael McDonald like he'd forgetting for Warren g s, 222 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:55,200 Speaker 2: nate dogs regulate. So if doctor dre gives white people 223 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 2: sold the seal of approval, then. 224 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, sampling it, turning it into something. 225 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 2: Amen, have you heard accusing us? Cried? 226 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:03,839 Speaker 3: That's great? 227 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 2: What's a jet? 228 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:06,720 Speaker 3: I need to listen to it? 229 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 2: XD but he played the Brothers? 230 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:09,080 Speaker 1: Yeah? 231 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, so what kind of give me an idea, 232 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 2: like what kind of tracks are you playing? 233 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:20,000 Speaker 1: Well? The covers that we did included Valerie and shut 234 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,960 Speaker 1: Up by the Black Eyed Peas, I want to say, 235 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 1: and like was it California Dreaming? Yeah, I can't remember, 236 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: but we it was like it was a nice collaboration 237 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 1: like songwriting experience, like we did a bunch of originals. 238 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 1: We had like an EP and that was kind of 239 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 1: how I started with the gig scene, and just being 240 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 1: confident enough to like write lyrics that I would see 241 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: in front of people. For example, there's a horn section, 242 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,320 Speaker 1: so people probably can't really hear the lyrics, and so 243 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: I was just kind of like, no, I really cares 244 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,319 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, and you know, that was like a 245 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,320 Speaker 1: nice way to just forget that it matters, you know, 246 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: and like stopped taking it so seriously, Like it wasn't 247 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,079 Speaker 1: a super serious scenario, and I think that really helped 248 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 1: with then when I went on to do solo stuff. 249 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,319 Speaker 1: It was a nice reminder that, like, it's not the 250 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,679 Speaker 1: end of the world. If this isn't great, just do it. 251 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 1: You want to do it, you want to be a dell, 252 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: get on stage. You know, it's kind of like, just 253 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 1: write something, see if people like you. But I don't know, 254 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 1: I really struggle with confidence sometimes as well. Still, but 255 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: just it isn't so much of a thing on stage. 256 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 1: It's sort of yeah that I've done it enough times that, Yeah, 257 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 1: it feels safer than plenty of other places. 258 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 3: You're in control. Yeah, in the real world, I'm not 259 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,319 Speaker 3: so confident all the time. I'm not so in control. 260 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:32,960 Speaker 2: We do need to pay some bills. We're back with 261 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 2: Angie mac mahon back after the break. Now, during our 262 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 2: conversation with Algie mcmhn she and I talk about a 263 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:47,760 Speaker 2: similar diagnosis that we have, the diagnosis of ADHD. Now 264 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 2: it is important to say no two people have the 265 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 2: same condition. But broad strokes do help. Doctors help people, 266 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:55,959 Speaker 2: and it helps people who need help speak to other 267 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 2: people about what's going on. So that's when people say 268 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 2: what needs are you. It's like, it doesn't fuck matter 269 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 2: of what meds I'm on. I'm not you. Meds don't 270 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,840 Speaker 2: meet anyway. But talking about it ESU with Angie was 271 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,240 Speaker 2: interesting because understanding what's going on with your head is 272 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,439 Speaker 2: more than half the battle. If you can identify what's happening, 273 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 2: then you understand what to do next. And that understanding. Look, 274 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 2: it can come from doctors, it can come from conversations 275 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,200 Speaker 2: like this, or might even come from a book. 276 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,880 Speaker 1: Maybe everyone knows this, but I never knew this. So 277 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 1: if you think of the conscious mind and the subconscious 278 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 1: mind as like one being above the line and one 279 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: being below the line, and you might decide consciously above 280 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 1: the line, I'm going to quit booze, for example, I'm 281 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: gonna quit drugs, whatever it is, and then underneath the 282 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 1: line this whole ocean basically of subconscious that you actually 283 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 1: have no control over. It's every memory you've ever built, 284 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:47,679 Speaker 1: every movie you've watched where alcohol is used for celebrating, 285 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 1: every time you've used it as a coping mechanism, and 286 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:53,079 Speaker 1: that's like, you know, stored itself in your body. All 287 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: that stuff is happening under the water. You actually have 288 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 1: no control over it. So you can say I'm going 289 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,800 Speaker 1: to quit alcohol and you can decide that for yourself 290 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 1: and you be like, I'm never doing that again manually. 291 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 2: See eagles are scoring a massive try and then drinking too, 292 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 2: like in my brain like that's already. 293 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 1: Even know that that memory is coming up, but that 294 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 1: is like, you know, there's all of these fish swimming 295 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 1: around kind of sending to the top of the message 296 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,200 Speaker 1: like time for you to have booze, and so you're up. 297 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 3: Against the ocean basically. 298 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 1: And I had just this diagram in this book I 299 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 1: can't remember the books called Anyway, someone gave it to me, 300 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: and it was basically such a relief to understand that 301 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: it's not your fault each time you you know, you 302 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: you fail at the promise that you made to yourself 303 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 1: because of all this stuff happening in your subconscious mind. 304 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:42,160 Speaker 1: And so to work on the subconscious mind and to 305 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: understand it more like it involved you know, reading about 306 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 1: psychology and trying to tune into every time I was 307 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 1: saying something negative to myself because the subconcious mind apparently 308 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 1: like eighty percent of the time is saying negative shit 309 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 1: to you, and just trying to shut down everything that you. 310 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 1: You know, everything that comes up in your head to 311 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 1: protect you. It's like a safety mechanism, but it's trying 312 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 1: to keep you in this box, and it would just 313 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: keep slapping you in the face. Basically, that's what your 314 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,600 Speaker 1: subgondcious mind is doing. Mine was doing it all the time, 315 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 1: and so you start trying to tune into it and 316 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,400 Speaker 1: you just kind of washing the dishes and then you're like, hey, 317 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,280 Speaker 1: I just said something really horrible to myself. How from 318 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 1: not doing that like so often? It turns out it's 319 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 1: really overwhelming. And so the more that I tried to 320 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 1: take time to like understand and learn about all the 321 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 1: stuff that was happening under the water, the more I 322 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,120 Speaker 1: was able to be like kind to myself consciously and 323 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 1: really slowly. I think it's such slow work, and everything 324 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 1: I've read about it says like, you know, it takes time. 325 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 1: You can't just solve this, and you're actually never going to, 326 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,200 Speaker 1: but you can keep inserting. 327 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 3: I don't know. 328 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: I think of it as like new, gentle, colorful fish 329 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 1: into the water to swim around with all the other stuff. 330 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 3: That's happening in there. 331 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: And I think that's what medication does as well. I 332 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 1: think it kind of like makes the water a bit clearer, 333 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 1: and I think it kind of does relate. No, it 334 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,600 Speaker 1: does end, but it's less like heavy and murky, and 335 00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:01,560 Speaker 1: it builds. It's about like building pathways. You're not worrying 336 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 1: about above this. They're kind of like happening underneath. And 337 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 1: like you say, like exercise does that all you know, 338 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,680 Speaker 1: chemicals do that in your body whatever. But that was 339 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 1: massive for me because I, like I say, I spend 340 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 1: so much time in my body, and I thought that 341 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 1: everything was my fault and my responsibility and I didn't 342 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:21,480 Speaker 1: understand that you know, trauma and history and everything is 343 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 1: informing so much of what I would end up doing automatically, 344 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:29,200 Speaker 1: like just on autopilot all the time, and so mindfulness 345 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,440 Speaker 1: practices and you know, like breath work. 346 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,000 Speaker 3: All this stuff. 347 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 1: It's about learning how to forgive yourself for your failings 348 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: and understand that that's human and keep on inserting compassion 349 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 1: into like the next moment, the next hour, the next day. 350 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 1: That's what it's been about for me. 351 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:49,160 Speaker 2: Sometimes you want to relax and just kind of look 352 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 2: at the fish, Yeah, with the positive messages. Yeah, sometimes 353 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 2: those fish are a Missy Higgins song. They're often yes, 354 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 2: here comes in your songs are Somebody's fish right now too? 355 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,439 Speaker 3: That's nice. That's really nice. 356 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,400 Speaker 1: Well, that's yeah, that's the reason to do the job. 357 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,879 Speaker 1: I think that's it's become about that for me. I 358 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:17,000 Speaker 1: think music definitely, it's such a powerful part of the subconscious. Yeah, 359 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,120 Speaker 1: thanks for saying that. It's true though, it's really nice. 360 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:20,640 Speaker 2: It's true. 361 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 3: Great t shirt this one. Yeah, it's morone, it's nice. 362 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,160 Speaker 2: I'm having to come to the grips. You wouldn't understand 363 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,760 Speaker 2: this being from Victoria, but I'm having to come to 364 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,919 Speaker 2: grips with the fact that my son will probably go 365 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,680 Speaker 2: for New South Wales in the state of origin. 366 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, that means absolutely nothing to me, but I'm sorry. Yeah, 367 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:39,360 Speaker 1: I mean kids are unpredictable, like there may be some 368 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 1: turn of events where if you don't push it, they 369 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:48,320 Speaker 1: actually end up choosing Dad's cool alternative team. 370 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,600 Speaker 2: Let me ask you, how cool do you think your 371 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:52,200 Speaker 2: parents are? 372 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:53,880 Speaker 3: I think my dad's pretty cool. 373 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 2: Oh get fuck? How long did it take you to 374 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 2: do that? Do you think that was when you're a teenager? 375 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 1: I thought his taste is off was cool. Not always 376 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:05,919 Speaker 1: it was selective, but he influenced me. He informed my taste. 377 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 2: What was his racket? 378 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:11,879 Speaker 1: Well, he played me Springsteen, Who's my favorite art and 379 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,359 Speaker 1: still to this day, like you get in the car 380 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,760 Speaker 1: with Daddy puts on Springsteen like too much and I 381 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,000 Speaker 1: am a Springsteen fan and he plays for the Springsteen. 382 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:22,480 Speaker 1: But he was just kind of giving me an education 383 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,640 Speaker 1: on things are the cool. 384 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,959 Speaker 2: That's Angie Mama, and the full chat is great. In 385 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,479 Speaker 2: that full conversation, we cover touring, we talk about the music, 386 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,439 Speaker 2: what I like to live with the aged Adhd. We 387 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 2: get nerdy talking about artists we both love. Episode five 388 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,919 Speaker 2: twenty two, if You're in a Whit, Thank you so 389 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 2: much for all the people to help me make this show. 390 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 2: And Abby beno It was the producer of this episode. 391 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,480 Speaker 2: Andy Maer They're great and powerful. Andy Marr was the 392 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 2: audio post producer, andymar dot com for your podcast production purposes. 393 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,840 Speaker 2: Bexsi ed, thank you so much for making the video. 394 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 2: And Monica Chapman's my executive function assistant. I'll see you 395 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:55,200 Speaker 2: back here on Monday.